Spelade
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Don't kid yourself! Your "silences" speak volumes!
I work with people whose relationships are in crisis for so long, and their hope that not speaking up about things that are bothering them mostly does more damage than anything.
Suffering in silence can be the exact opposite of healthy living. It's a poor--and often highly toxic--approach to relationship issues.
It's possible that folks who button up and bottle up recall prior negative experiences associated with speaking out. Things just didn't go well, or the result crushed them. Now, they don't want to risk their self-esteem, or the relationship.
Here's a HUGE, glaring mistake, too: Too many people talk to their kids about their frustrations with their partners. I'll talk about this more in the episode. But, know that here's the rule: DON'T DO THIS...unless your kids are fully functioning adults with enough relationship experience to have a healthy conversation.
Why do quiet, seemingly nice people kill their spouses? One reason is that they "suffered in silence" until they really needed to say something or burst. They burst! Don't let that be you!
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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!
If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,
join my Support Circle now.
Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.
WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.
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HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
why it is not wise to bottle things uphow resentment builds and rationality reduceswhere you may have got the idea that suffering in silence is in any way wisewhy it is imperative not to include your children in conversation about your partnerwhy getting help is a sign of strength: getting help does not mean you've failedYou'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.
Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.
Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my
FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!
If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.
Make positive changes NOW.
Big hugs,
Rhoberta
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?
You can have that, and:
access to my Optimize Circlesmy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes twoat least monthly insightful videos and access to the libraryYou can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!
OptimizeCircles.com
CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:
Website: TransformingRelationship.com
Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com
Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor
Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor
YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp
You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.
#nomoresufferinginsilence #sufferinginsilence #silencedamagerelationships #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople
Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Parents who were emotionally available, perceptive, and responsive to you, to your needs and mental states, are a great gift! They tend to provide you with attachment that is secure. This is an excellent foundation for a healthy emotional life.
Parents who were emotionally unavailable, or inconsistently available, perceptive or response to your needs, and tended to intrude their own states of mind onto you as a tiny child, could create what is called a "resistant, ambivalent, or anxious attachment" to others. This is an excellent breeding ground for an unhealthy emotional life. And, in particular, sets the stage for personality distortions in later life.
So, that person whom you met when they were an adult--a partner, ex, parent, co-worker--was already pre-disposed to their outwardly self-important, prone to pomposity, self-adoration, and annoyingly entitled behaviors long before you can along.
You can't change them.
They don't want to change. T
hey see no need to change.
Got it?
Good!
Let yourself off the hook.
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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!
If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,
join my Support Circle now.
Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.
WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
What attachment theory isHow attachment theory helps explain the basic nature of people in relationshipsSecure attachment is healthyAvoidant attachment is dismissiveAnxious,attachment, ambivalent attachment is preoccupiedDisorganized attachment is unresolvedWhy a Hijackal's behavior is not your faultWhy you cannot change a #HijackalYou'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.
Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.
Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my
FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!
If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.
Make positive changes NOW.
Big hugs,
Rhoberta
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?
You can have that, and:
access to my Optimize Circlesmy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes twoat least monthly insightful videos and access to the libraryYou can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!
OptimizeCircles.com
CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:
Website: TransformingRelationship.com
Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com
Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor
Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor
YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp
You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.
#attachment #attachmenttheory #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople
Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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How many times have you heard someone--maybe on TV--say, "Oh, we're just going through a rough patch."
Really? Is it? Or, is it abuse? It's SO important to know the difference, and that's what today's episode sets out to make very clear: the difference.
Here's how Dictionary.com defines abuse:
to use wrongly or improperlymisuseabuse one's authoritytreat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive wayto speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or aboutmalignto commit sexual assault uponharshly or coarsely insulting languagebad or improper treatmentOK...big difference from a supposed "rough patch," right?
There's no getting away from it. When someone treats you in a degrading, mean, discounting, or dismissive way, it's abuse!
If you don't have strong boundaries that you express and maintain, you'll turn yourself into a pretzel, and end up being a doormat. You don't want that for a moment longer, right? That's why you need to see this clearly right now, whether it is happening to you or to someone you care about.
HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
Why you mustn't dismiss "bad behavior"Clear outlines of what emotional abuse and verbal abuse areWhy it is essential to express and maintain boundaries in outing abuseWhy you must never allow someone to diminish your sense of identity, dignity, or self-worthExamples of what #Hijackal abusers do that you need to recognize for what it is.#Hijackals, finances, and financial abuseI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.
Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.
I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.
Talk soon.
Rhoberta
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
ForRelationshipHelp.com
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!
If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,
join my Support Circle now.
Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.
WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.
CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:
Website: TransformingRelationship.com
Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com
Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor
Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor
You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.
#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #identifyingabuse #callitabuse
Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Big question. Knowing the answer takes a whole lot of thinking…unless, of course, there is physical or sexual abuse.
Then, there is only one answer: GO. Go to the police. Go to the court. Go to any lengths you need to protect yourself and your children. GO.
For most of you, though, going or staying is not black or white. It’s a whole lot of grey that travels from close to white some days, to too close to black others.
Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \
CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:
Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com
Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor
Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp
#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest
Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
