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Charles Feltman: The Thin Book of Trust
Charles Feltman is the founder of Insight Coaching. He has over 25 years of professional experience coaching, facilitating, consulting to, and training people who lead others. He is the author of The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work*.
It’s a reality of life that we need to interact with some people we’d rather not. And it’s absolutely a reality of leadership, that sometimes we need to have a conversation with someone we don’t quite trust. In this episode, Charles and I explore how to prepare so it goes better for both parties.
Key Points
The four assessment domains of trust include care, sincerity, reliability, and competence.
Seven steps to prepare for a conversation:
Identify the assessment(s) you are concerned with: care, sincerity, reliability, and/or competence.
Define the standard you are using.
Identify the specific actions or behaviors that have led to your assessment of distrust.
Consider what you are doing that may be contributing to the situation.
Determine what you need from them in order for them to regain your trust.
Decide if you are willing to talk to the person about it.
Ask the other person if they would be willing to have a conversation with you.
Resources Mentioned
The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work* by Charles Feltman
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Handle Pushback From Difficult Askers, with Vanessa Patrick (episode 637)
How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655)
How to Change People’s Minds, with Michael McQueen (episode 676)
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Stephen M. R. Covey: Trust & Inspire
Stephen M. R. Covey is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author and former CEO of Covey Leadership Center. He led the strategy that propelled his father’s book, Dr. Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, to become one of the two most influential business books of the 20th Century, according to CEO Magazine. He's the author The Speed of Trust and more recently Trust & Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others*.
Despite everything we know about good leadership, a lot of places still operate in a command and control mindset. In this conversation, Stephen and I explore the key ways to shift from command and control to trust and inspire.
Key Points
In spite of all progress, most leaders today are still operating from a command and control mindset.
The carrot and stick approach still dominates most organizational cultures and tactics.
The biggest barrier to becoming a Trust & Inspire leader is when we think we already are one.
People are whole people. The best leaders care for the body, heart, mind, and spirit.
There is enough for everyone. Trust & Inspire leaders elevate caring above competition.
Enduring influence is created from the inside out. The job of the leader is to go first.
All people have greatness inside them. Trust & Inspire leaders work to unleash potential, not control it.
Resources Mentioned
Trust & Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others* by Stephen M. R. Covey
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi (episode 488)
The Starting Point for Repairing Trust, with Henry Cloud (episode 626)
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Shandy Welch: Leadership Coach
Shandy Welch is an executive leadership coach. Her coaching focus is around humanizing leadership and re-engaging individuals and teams to inspire change and innovation. She is also a Coaching for Leaders Fellow.
Most leaders find themselves — at least occasionally — in conversations with people who intimidate them. In this SaturdayCast, Shandy and I share what’s worked for us and how it might help you have better conversations.
Key Points
Nervousness is your friend. If you feel it, that means you care. Try to get the butterflies flying in formation.
You are there because you are the best person to be there. Full stop.
People with visibility will expect you've done your homework. If they’ve put something out into the world, they want you to find it.
Preparation helps you improvise. “You've got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail.” -Charlie Parker
Always assume there is something you can do to help out someone else. Consider their perspective and what they gain from the meeting with you.
Everybody has doubts and struggles. Remember the humanity that’s present in every interaction.
What was helpful to you from our conversation? We’d love to know. Share it with Shandy at [email protected]
Related Episodes
How to Talk to People Who Have Power, with Jordan Harbinger (episode 343)
How to Help People Speak Truth to Power, with Megan Reitz (episode 597)
Set the Tone for Speaking Up, with Mike Massimino (episode 672)
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Steve Dennis: Leaders Leap
Steve Dennis is a strategy consultant, advisor, speaker, and author focused on transformational leadership and the impact of digital disruption. He is the president of SageBerry Consulting and host of the Remarkable Retail podcast. He's the author of the book Remarkable Retail and his newest book Leaders Leap: Transforming Your Company at the Speed of Disruption*.
Every leader needs to stay relevant in order to serve well. In this conversation, Steve and I explore the mindset and tactics that will help us lead in the context of an ever-changing world.
Key Points
Self-sufficiency is a virtue, until it’s not. Learning to ask for help is a key practice for leaders.
Be cautious about a deserving attitude. High expectations may be correlated with low resilience.
Seek insight everywhere. It’s no longer sufficient just to gain ideas from direct competitors.
Turning pro means showing up and doing the work, especially when we don’t feel like it.
We must go through discomfort, not around it. Radical acceptance of truth will help you stay relevant in changing times.
Resources Mentioned
Leaders Leap: Transforming Your Company at the Speed of Disruption* by Steve Dennis
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Win the Long Game When the Short-Term Seems Bleak, with Dorie Clark (episode 550)
How to Help People Engage in Growth, with Whitney Johnson (episode 576)
How to Keep Improving, with Maurice Ashley (episode 697)
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Seth Godin: This is Strategy
Seth Godin has published 21 bestselling books that have changed the way people think about work. He writes one of the most popular blogs in the world, and two of his TED talks are among the most popular of all time. His blog is at seths.blog and his newest book is titled This is Strategy*.
Seth writes this: “It’s not clear to me why business plans are the way they are, but they’re often misused to obfuscate, bore, and show an ability to comply with expectations.” In this conversation, Seth and I explore the key components of a modern business plan.
Key Points
Big problems require small solutions.
We often skip strategy because most of us have trained our whole lives for tactics.
A modern business is clear about systems and the status quo. Use the system if you intend to change the system.
Assertions are the heart of a business plan. Leaders need to have empathy for someone else’s “better.”
Articulating alternatives helps you stay resilient when some of your assertions are inevitably wrong.
Find people to support you who have a track record of shipping.
A useful business plan gets easier over time and persists (and maybe even thrives) when the world changes.
The six sections of a modern business plan:
Truth
Assertions
Alternatives
People
Money
Time
Resources Mentioned
This is Strategy* by Seth Godin
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How Leaders Build, with Guy Raz (episode 491)
How to Grow Your Business, with Donald Miller (episode 629)
Doing Better Than Zero Sum-Thinking, with Renée Mauborgne (episode 641)
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Maha Abouelenein: 7 Rules of Self-Reliance
Maha Abouelenein is an American Egyptian with more than 30 years of global communications experience advising global corporate giants, startups, governments, CEOs and high-net-worth individuals. She is the CEO of Digital and Savvy, a strategic communications consulting firm with offices in the States and Dubai. Maha is the author of 7 Rules of Self-Reliance: How to Stay Low, Keep Moving, Invest in Yourself and Own Your Future*.
One of the definitions of the word currency in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is, “General use, acceptance, or prevalence.” All of us want to be both accepted and prevalent in the work we get to do. In this conversation, Maha and I discuss how your reputation is perhaps the most important currency of all.
Key Points
Personal brand isn't about self promotion, it's about leadership.
Rather than promoting yourself, promote the ideas that you stand for.
Reputation is currency. It’s the only thing you truly own and its value comes from how other people perceive it.
Sometimes it’s the right move to take a job to earn. It’s also important to take jobs to learn.
Knowing what you stand for is key, but this doesn’t come overnight.
We all make missteps. What’s often more remembered is how you respond. Apologize and have empathy when things go wrong.
Resources Mentioned
7 Rules of Self-Reliance: How to Stay Low, Keep Moving, Invest in Yourself and Own Your Future* by Maha Abouelenein
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Making the Case for Your Promotion, with May Busch (episode 526)
How to Tell a Story About Yourself, with David Hutchens (episode 661)
An Invitation for Kindness in Leadership, with James Rhee (episode 693)
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Jonathan Raymond: Good Authority
Jonathan Raymond is the founder of Refound and Ren AI. He helps leaders make work a better place, one conversation at a time. He’s the author of the book Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting for and hosts the podcast of the same name. He's also the creator of The Accountability Dial, used by many in our community to support healthy accountability in their organizations.
With all the tools and technology we have access to, it’s so easy to fall in the trap of mostly being transactional. Yet, leadership is at its best when it elevates above the transaction and builds the broader relationship. In this conversation, Jonathan and I discuss how to make that shift.
Key Points
While the pandemic helped us shift in some helpful ways, it also created an environment where leaders don’t always feel safe with healthy accountability.
The most healthy conversations have consequences if change does not happen.
The primary obstacle to holding people accountable is fear. Leaders will find times when then not able to defend themselves.
Having access to too much detail is a recipe for micromanagement. The best feedback moves away from transitional and towards relational.
Find places of retreat to spend unstructured, non-transactional time.
Don’t let the perfect get in the way of the good. Hold people accountable for the qualities of leadership, not the outcomes.
Resources Mentioned
Ren AI: a platform of AI-powered tools built on the Good Authority methodology
Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For* by Jonathan Raymond
Related Episodes
Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 306)
How to Give Feedback, with Russ Laraway (episode 583)
How to Connect with People Better, with Charles Duhigg (episode 670)
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Dan Dworkis: The Emergency Mind
Dan Dworkis is Chief Medical Officer at The Mission Critical Team Institute. He's an emergency physician who helps individuals and teams apply knowledge under extreme pressure and perform at their best when it matters the most. He is the author of The Emergency Mind: Wiring Your Brain for Performance Under Pressure*.
Every leader, at least occasionally, faces emergencies. In an emergency, the only way out is through. In this conversation, Dan and I explore the mindsets and tactics that will help us handle the most difficult situations.
Key Points
Emergencies are not just worse bad days. They are liminal — the only way out is through.
Apply graduated pressure. Never allow suffering to be wasted. By going a bit slower, you notice where and why failures happen.
Label an emergency with language that both recognizes the urgency of the situation and your faith in the team to resolve it.
The room is always smarter than any one person in it. Tell people what problem they are working and your confidence level in it.
Staying cool under pressure is not a fixed personality trait. You can get better by noticing and experimenting with what works for you (and doesn’t) to handle high-pressure situations.
Experience makes working under pressure easier, but you still need to practice for it. Notice what’s effective (and not) in past and new situations before you experiment.
Use situations in everyday life (a hard workout, an angry customer, getting cut off in traffic) to train yourself for responding in the toughest situations.
Resources Mentioned
The Emergency Mind: Wiring Your Brain for Performance Under Pressure* by Dan Dworkis
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376)
How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
How to Prevent a Team From Repeating Mistakes, with Robert “Cujo” Teschner (episode 660)
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Andrew C.M. Cooper: The Ethical Imperative
Andrew C.M. Cooper is an executive leader and apologist for compassionate business practices. He led as a history-making first Millennial and Black executive to serve as General Counsel of UPS Airlines, the world’s largest logistics airline with over 20,000 employees. His team was essential to the success of Operation Warp Speed, the United States’ pandemic vaccine relief effort. He's the author of The Ethical Imperative: Leading with Conscience to Shape the Future of Business*.
We all know the power of relationships to help us grow. However, we don’t always seek out some of the non-traditional relationships that might help most. In this conversation, Andrew and I discuss three types of people we often overlook that will help us grow.
Key Points
Many of us invest in organic, traditional relationships. Those are important, but not sufficient in such a dynamic world.
Invest 30% of your time into relationships that will add skills, knowledge, or insights you can’t develop yourself.
Shifters observe well, read between the lines, and help us adapt in uncertain and changing situations.
Connectors will help your expand professional affiliations. Having a connector in your corner can be as helpful as being a connector yourself.
People who first appear as sharks may be benevolent antagonists. Listen for what others around them say to determine who might challenge you in healthy ways.
Resources Mentioned
The Ethical Imperative: Leading with Conscience to Shape the Future of Business* by Andrew C.M. Cooper
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Strengthen Your Network, with Marissa King (episode 525)
How to Build a Network While Still Doing Everything Else, with Ruth Gotian (episode 591)
How to Recognize Remarkable People, with Guy Kawasaki (episode 671)
Production Credit
Coaching for Leaders is edited by Andrew Kroeger. Production support is provided by Sierra Priest.
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Laura West: Coaching for Leaders Fellow
Laura West is a seasoned leader and researcher with many years experience executing and training others in data analysis and strategy. She's led large teams across several organizations, holds a Ph.D. in linguistics, and is an alum of the Coaching for Leaders Academy. She was selected as one of our new Coaching for Leaders fellows and has taken on a leadership role in supporting our current Academy members.
What do you do when you get a request from a stakeholder, but don’t have the resources to fulfill it? That’s a reality almost every leader faces. In this conversation, Laura and I discuss both the mindset and tactics that will help you respond well.
Key Points
Rather than an immediate “no,” spend an hour working through some steps to creatively problem solve around the request.
Show your work. When you respond, share who you’ve talked with and what’s already been considered to respond to the request.
Present options by summarizing 2-4 paths forward and your recommendations.
Be the data person. Highlight trends over time that help influence different business decisions and maintain your credibility.
Prioritize. But tell, don’t ask. Take the lead on identifying what’s important on behalf of the stakeholder and begin the work.
Resources Mentioned
Responding to Stakeholder Requests With Limited Resources by Laura West (free membership required)
Related Episodes
The Way to Turn Followers Into Leaders, with David Marquet (episode 241)
How to Start Managing Up, with Tom Henschel (episode 433)
The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)
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Steven Rogelberg: Glad We Met
Steven Rogelberg is an organizational psychologist, holding the title of Chancellor’s Professor at UNC Charlotte for distinguished national, international and interdisciplinary contributions. He is an award-winning teacher and recipient of the Humboldt Award for his research on meetings. He is the author of Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings*.
Many us appreciate the value of 1:1 meetings with employees. For a lot of managers, it’s one of their biggest time commitments. And yet, nobody ever taught us how to do it. In this conversation, Steven and I discuss how to actually structure an effective 1:1.
Key Points
First and foremost, a 1:1 meeting is for the direct report.
A set schedule for 1:1’s with your team reduces bias by ensuring you connect with everyone, consistently.
A loose framework is better than a lock-step agenda. Two approaches help: the manager proposing a core question or listing out topics that the direct report brings.
Avoid status update meetings by articulating the purpose of 1:1’s and dedicating agenda time (or future meetings) to bigger picture topics.
Skip-level 1:1’s are valuable for both employees and senior leaders. Avoid undermining another leader by approaching the meeting with the mindset to support the employee, rather than making decisions.
Resources Mentioned
Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings* by Steven Rogelberg
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Lead Meetings That Get Results, with Mamie Kanfer Stewart (episode 358)
Moving Towards Meetings of Significance, with Seth Godin (episode 632)
Bringing Your Strengths to a Big Job, with General CQ Brown, Jr. (episode 691)
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Susan Salomone tells us how she decided to shift with a new team. Applications are open to the Coaching for Leaders Academy through Friday, September 13th. Discover details and apply.
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Randelle Lenoir tells us how she is building stronger relationships and visibility across her organization. Applications are open to the Coaching for Leaders Academy through Friday, September 13th. Discover details and apply.
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Patrick Peralta shares what he did to get better at accountability. Applications are open to the Coaching for Leaders Academy through Friday, September 13th. Discover details and apply.
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Maurice Ashley: Move by Move
Maurice Ashley is a Chess Grandmaster, an ESPN commentator, a three-time national championship coach, and an author. In 1999 he earned the title of Chess Grandmaster, making him the first Black Grandmaster in the game’s history, and in 2016 he was inducted into the US Chess Hall of Fame. He's the author of Move by Move: Life Lessons on and off the Chessboard*.
There was a time that you could get a degree or a certification and you’ve be set on your learning for awhile. Those days are long gone. With change happening at the speed of thought, we must keep improving. In this conversation, Maurice and I discuss the mindsets and tactics that will help you keep growing.
Key Points
Jazz artists don’t think about each note, but instinctively know how to make beautiful music. The best chess players are like this.
Elite performers constantly look for ways to cultivate the beginner’s mindset.
Chess players who pay attention to the endgame are less likely to get caught up only in the tactics.
The most vulnerable time for a chess player is when they have a big lead.
Poor performers avoid spending time with their mistakes. The best players learn from them through debrief.
Determine in advance where you need to stay hyper-focused.
Temper overconfidence by posing additional in-game challenges for yourself and your team.
Resources Mentioned
Move by Move: Life Lessons on and off the Chessboard* by Maurice Ashley
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Actually Move Numbers, with Chris McChesney (episode 294)
How to Prevent a Team From Repeating Mistakes, with Robert “Cujo” Teschner (episode 660)
How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663)
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Natasha Orslene tells us how zeroing in on authenticity helped. Applications are open to the Coaching for Leaders Academy through Friday, September 13th. Discover details and apply.
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Monica Chartier shares what came out of her focus to become more coach-like. Applications are open to the Coaching for Leaders Academy through Friday, September 13th. Discover details and apply.
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Alice Ferris tells us about putting intentions into action. Applications are open to the Coaching for Leaders Academy through Friday, September 13th. Discover details and apply.
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Marshall Goldsmith: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Marshall Goldsmith is one of the world’s leading executive coaches. He's written 56 books, selling over 3 million copies, including 8 bestsellers and 4 New York Times bestsellers. He's been ranked twice by Thinkers50 as the #1 leadership thinker in the world and ranked the #1 executive coach in the world for over a decade.
Marshall’s most popular book is What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful*. In this episode, Marshall and I explore the key lessons from this iconic book and the most common habits that hold leaders back.
Key Points
The superstition trap: I behave this way and I am successful, therefore I am successful because I behave this way.
The higher you go, the more your problems are behavioral.
Winning too much is a trap for successful people. Ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
Be aware that your suggestions become orders.
Avoid starting your responses with “no,” “but,” or “however.” It’s hard to hear things we already know.
We are not here on Earth to prove how smart we are. Help more, judge less.
We all reinforce people who reinforce us. We hate obvious suck ups, but not the good ones. The good suck ups can easily fool the best leaders.
Beware an excessive need to “be me.” Instead, be who you want and need to be.
Resources Mentioned
What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful* by Marshall Goldsmith
MarshallGoldsmith.ai
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Be More Self-Aware, with Tasha Eurich (episode 442)
The Power of Courage in Leadership Growth, with Jorge Alzate (episode 611)
What Vulnerable Leadership Sounds Like, with Jacob Morgan (episode 648)
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Mary Murphy: Cultures of Growth
Mary Murphy is Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Indiana University. She is also Founding Director of the Summer Institute on Diversity at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University and founder and CEO of the Equity Accelerator, a research and consulting organization that works with schools and companies to create more equitable learning and working environments. She is the author of Cultures of Growth: How the New Science of Mindset Can Transform Individuals, Teams, and Organizations*.
Many of us have heard the distinction between a fixed and a growth mindset. Turns out it’s more of a both/and, especially with our teams. In this conversation, Mary and I discuss how team collaboration can support a growth mindset.
Key Points
Nobody has only a fixed or a growth mindset. While we may favor one, all of us shift between them.
Team culture is so powerful that it can either block or encourage a growth mindset.
Mindset doesn't just affect perceptions and behaviors, it shapes the bottom line.
To support collaboration, begin with a cues audit. Consider starting with affinity groups.
It’s misperception that cultures of growth are less data-centric than cultures of genius. The opposite is actually true.
Don’t eliminate competition, recast it. Consider how incentives align with supporting others and the organization as a whole.
Yes, share outcomes -- and also include the distance traveled to achieve them. This supports a culture of growth.
Traditional rating systems, especially forced-rankings, often reinforce cultures of genius.
Resources Mentioned
Cultures of Growth: How the New Science of Mindset Can Transform Individuals, Teams, and Organizations* by Mary Murphy
Culture Cues Assessment
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Growth Mindset Helps You Rise From the Ashes, with Jeff Hittenberger (episode 326)
How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
Help Your Team Embrace Growth Mindset, with Eduardo Briceño (episode 644)
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