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Suicide is the leading cause of death for young people, both in Ireland and worldwide. When hearing figures such as that, it is not surprising that we have received a huge amount of interest and requests to cover this topic in detail. It really is something that affects most people around the country in some shape or form.
Our guest this week is Karen Docherty from Dublin. Her two boys Stephen, 30, and 22-year-old Graham Murray took their own lives within three years of each other, something she never thought would have happened to her family. Their story is complex and deeply moving.
Stephen her oldest son struggled with addiction all of his adult life. During the discussion Karen speaks about the mental anguish drug abuse played on their family life over this period. “We always thought it was addiction that would take his life”. The grief that comes with suicide is often ladened with guilt, which Karen speaks about in great detail. She says this guilt stuck with Graham and ultimately played a role in his decision to als take his own life three years later.
Advocacy and campaigning is not something that comes easy to people, particularly when you are stuck firmly in the middle of your grief. Karen’s selfless and brave efforts in campaigning for better mental health resources for younger people, make her story even more astonishing. The ripple effect of suicide is something that is spoken about early on in the interview, but the positive ripple effect Karen’s campaigning work will have on families and individuals around the country cannot be understated.
If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel,
Share articles, photos ,memories and more,
Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,
A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving
https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/
Music by: Nctrnm
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On this week’s podcast Sasha (Venetia will be back next week) got the opportunity to speak to the psychotherapist, writer, and grief advocate Megan Devine.
Megan’s career as a therapist was mainly based around working with people with substance addiction. It wasn’t until a summer day in 2009 that grief would become a firm fixture in her life, as her partner Matt drowned in a devastating accident, just three months from his fortieth birthday. In Megan’s own words “It was random, unexpected, and it tore my world apart.”
In the years since Matt’s death Megan has gone on to found Refuge in Grief, a grief support resource and online community which serves both grieving people and those looking to better support grieving people free online resources, and professional training. Megan is perhaps best known for her 2017 book It's OK That You're Not OK, which is widely seen as one of the staples of Grief Literature.
Since beginning the podcast, and the initial planning phases back in October, Sasha had flagged Megan as the one guest that she wanted to speak to above anyone else, because of the impact Megan’s book had on her while grieving for her mom. Megan was so honest, thoughtful and at times absolutely hilarious with her words throughout this interview, and we really think everyone will enjoy this episode a lot.
If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel,
Share articles, photos ,memories and more,
Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,
A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving
https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/
Music by: Nctrnm
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In this week’s episode of the podcast Sasha and Venetia meet the incredibly talented writer, radio presenter and podcaster Emily Dean who speaks about “starting again” after a series of painful losses, all accounted beautifully in her new memoir Everybody Died, So I Got a Dog. The books jarring title is completely indicative to the tone of the conversation, as Emily refuses to speak gently about the painful realities of grief. Now, she is the only survivor of her immediate family and in her interview with Sasha and Venetia, she speaks in great detail of how this strange reality came to be. The Dean’s are a genuinely extraordinary family.
Her Dad was a famous TV personality and her mother an actress. Her relationship with both of them throughout the years was turbulent at times. “It was a peripatetic, slightly unstable childhood. Lot’s of bohemian artists, who were great fun to be around, but if you wan’t fish fingers on the table at 5pm, they’re not your people.” In contrast to this, Emily’s relationship with her sister Rachael meant more than anything in the world to her “I called my sister my lighthouse, she was home.”
Emily’s whole world turned completely on its head in December 2011. Rachael suddenly became very ill, and passed away less than a month later from an aggressive form of cancer. In 2014, her mother was diagnosed with MND, passing away a year later, shortly followed by the death of her father a few months later. Within three short years she was completely on her own. “There’s something about the family you have grown up, in whatever form that takes, that defines you. It is who you are. “ I had moments where I would go to ring my sister, with something funny, or if I had passed somewhere. And then you’d get this sinking feeling of I’ve got no one to tell, no one understands this”
Emily is a fascinating character, and an incredibly smart and intelligent woman who’s absolute love for her sister is still incredibly evident eight years on from her loss. Her conversation sparked many tears, huge moments of laughter, and that was within the first 10 minutes alone.
If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel,
Share articles, photos ,memories and more,
Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,
A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving
https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/
Music by: Nctrnm
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This week on Grief Encounters, Sasha was joined by the parents of Sean “Lil Red” Hughes, who was an aspiring rapper from Finglas in Dublin, and the type of kid to make a big impression on anyone who had the pleasure of meeting him. Joe and Karen are two incredibly proud parents who are doing exceptional work in raising awareness around Sepsis, which Sean passed away from in January 2018 at the age of 15.
After complaining of flu-like symptoms, Sean suddenly lost consciousness while watching TV at home with Karen. He was rushed to Temple Street Hospital but passed away the following morning, and two weeks later the Hughes family found out that Sepsis was the cause of death. Sepsis is one of the countries biggest killers, killing more people annually than heart-attack, although still very little is known about the disease publically, with only 28% of Irish people surveyed, having an understanding of the disease and its warning signs.
Both of Sean’s parents are completely grief stricken since his loss, but the incredible power and strength they somehow manage to find while sharing his story is nothing short of breathtaking. Having initially struggled deeply in getting support on a governmental level, they have now been asked to lead an awareness campaign around the disease which is sure to save many lives in future.
“All we have available to us is social media. It can be bad for certain things, but it was great for the Lil Red Legacy Sepsis Awareness Campaign.. Money is not an issue, look at what we have done and we have no money. We’ve no funding. We’ve no PR groups. We are two concerned parents wanting to save someone else's life. No way is our son is going to be another statistic.”
The incredible work that Karen and Joe have carried out is already paying huge dividends nationally, as they look to spread as much awareness about the illness as possible.
“To date 21 people have contacted me and Karen, saying that as a direct result of what we do on social media, and telling Sean’s story that their life or a loved one’s life has been saved. This is exactly what Sean would have wanted, exactly. My son’s not going to die in vain.”
Sepsis Warning Signs:
Shivering, fever, or very cold
Extreme pain or discomfort
Pale or discoloured skin
Sleepy, difficult to rouse, confused
I feel like I might die
Short of breath
If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel,
Share articles, photos ,memories and more,
Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,
A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving
https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/
Music by: Nctrnm
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This weeks guest is Fiona Tuomey, Founder and Director of HUGG which is an incredible charity that provides suicide bereavement support groups and online resources. In January 2016, Fiona’s beautiful daughter Milly died by suicide at the age of 11, just six weeks away from her twelfth birthday. In the four years since Fiona has done incredible work, campaigning for vital youth and adult mental health services to be implemented countrywide, highlighting some gaping flaws in the Irish health system.
In the interview, Fiona describes Milly with such vivid colour, that it’s clear to see how special of a child she was. “She felt very deeply about things and I felt that her barometer for empathy was really very strong. She could also feel great sorrow. The first time she saw a homeless man in Dublin she cried, and came home and said can I give him all my pocket money, what can I do?”
After noticing a change in Milly’s personality, Fiona was made aware that her daughter was suffering from suicidal ideations, having told her peers she knew the exact day she wanted to die. Shocked and devastated, Fiona and her husband approached the situation with a huge amount of seriousness, but were ultimately let down by the state, after searching for support. The Tuomey families story is an incredibly sad one, and much greater questions need to be asked around the shortcomings of Ireland’s health infrastructure to help those struggling with mental health issues. Fiona’s tireless campaigning for these supports and greater accountability, will undoubtedly play a part in fostering a more proactive approach to dealing with suicide and the families affected by it.
HUGG is a peer support organisation. We provide a safe, confidential environment in which those bereaved by suicide can share their experiences and feelings, so giving and gaining support from each other. The aftermath of a suicide is shocking, debilitating, surreal, life changing. But you can learn to live with this loss. It is not easy, but we are here to help.
People who are suicide bereaved sometimes find it can be difficult for people who have not experienced suicide loss, including professionals, to understand what they are going through. Often the best conversations are had with peers – other people bereaved by suicide. Our support groups are facilitated by people who have been bereaved by suicide. The groups are open, meet fortnightly and are free of charge. You do not have to speak, there is healing in just being with those who understand your pain.
If you would like to come along to a HUGG group, just call us on 01 513 4048 (monitored answering machine) or email [email protected] for more information.
If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel,
Share articles, photos ,memories and more,
Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,
A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving
https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/
Music by: Nctrnm
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
