Avsnitt
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The Pals... they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition, and they've got talent, as well as just beauty. I'm so sick of people saying that podcasting is all the Pals are fit for. I'm so sick of it! But we're so lonely... So join us, won't you, and help alleviate some of our pod-based blues in listening to this week's episode of Throw in the Pal, discussing Greta Gerwig's 2019 adaptation of Little Women.
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Video games... What are video games? Are they movies you play, with missions and aims?Is it all interactive, do you pick the events?Do you have to pay more, in dollars and cents?Is there easy and hard as a mode to select?Are there easter eggs hidden for you to detect?If I eat a burrito and hold in a fart,Then unleash it on canvas, would you call it art?"How's that related?" you ask with derision,Life's about swings, not always precision.Anyway, Pals, this episode's truly'bout Video Games that were made into moviesSo sit down or stand up and listen as weTalk a lot and say, like, some real funny shit.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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A Minecraft Movie, y'say? Next they'll be doing a Fortnite Feature or a Roblox Reel! And why stop there?! There could even be a THIRD THING!
Anyway, enjoy the episode.
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People keep writing in and asking the Pals when we're going to start talking more about current events. No, that's not 'currant' as in the berry, so calm down you juice-guzzling sickos. We mean current as in 'currency', the tokens that line our credit and draw us together in the spending spree of modern stuff. Coins and cash and doo-hickeys of all variety, from yen to pounds to the almighty dollary-doo itself. Though it's not the tender itself we're so wowed by here at Pal Enterprises. No no no! In our humble opinion, it's the very nomenclature used to denote money that makes our change pockets jingle, and none can compare to the Spaniards when it comes to their heralded word for moolah: dinero. So this episode, we spend the entire-- [the world's largest vaudeville hook apparates and yanks this bit off the stage, as a nebbish man in a tweed suit appears, reading from cue cards]
We apologise for the misunderstanding. Please enjoy this week's Short n' Sweet on the performances of Robert De Niro.
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Now the story of a wealthy man who lost everything, and then the same man who had no choice but to let his boxing career flame out so that he could open up a sleazy nightclub in order to perform atrocious standup comedy and more efficiently make out with teenagers. It's a-Raging Bull, innit?
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Balls: what are they good for, anyhow?
Can you eat ‘em? Can you take ‘em out on an airplane and play with ‘em without getting into trouble? Can you go one day without someone getting on your case about holding onto ‘em for too damn long?
For most of those, the answer is fairly self-evident, even if you’ve become confused somewhere in the middle and started thinking about testicles instead, which seems to be turning into a habit for you.
Balls: round and other-shaped, big and not so big, they’re the engine of all worthwhile sport, and watching sport is the more worthwhile version of watching movies. And so, together at last, the Pals get into some Ball Sports!
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The reason it's called the "f-you-ture" and not the "f-us-ture" is that everyone's is their own to make. That's really the main theme of the Back to the Future movies, if you ignore "white people actually invented rock and roll" and "maybe MILF is a more inclusive term that you originally thought." So let's get back to it, Pals, for our 100th episode spectacular and Season Two finale!!!
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The Pals have been watching movies for so long that they almost forgot why they started doing it in the first place: so they could yell vulgarities at each other over minor score disparities. Luckily, we at Throw in the Pal have decided to celebrate our nearly 100 episodes by dedicating an entire "Short n Sweet" to the frequency with which we come close to physical violence when someone dear to us says something disagreeable about the moving pictures and loud noises projected onto a screen that we did or did not find it fun to look at. It's in these times that we all become much, much less than friends; we become Pals!
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Pal boys, Pal boys,
Not just one or two,
Not just one or two,
There's a third for you.
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Picture half of an Australian choccie biscuit, blown up to massive proportions and then frozen over, becoming the coldest, most massive hunk of a common confectionery you've ever seen. They're calling it a Tim Brrrr-tonne, and it's the topic we were supposed to be talking about in this week's episode, but instead we started chatting about this freak-deeky goth director. Whoops!
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Adam West did it best when he wore the crusader's vest
Mr Affleck sadly naffed it, wasn't made for Gotham habits
Robert Patz beat the stats, made for such a brilliant Bats
Then there's Christian, sure do miss 'im, even when he's hissy fittin'
But this here Michael is an eyeful, with a chin that's most delightful
And Nicholson's a tricky one, who cackles like Don Rickles, hon!
Throw in the Pal, oh give in now, before we have a mighty row
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Whether you're watching the second movie in a documentary series about anatomy (Leg: A Sequel), addressing an elven archer via a misguided nickname as you instruct him to use his water powers to stymy an oceanic tempest ("Lega! Sea quell!") or you've just got a mouthful of turkey stuffing and are garbling random syllables while trying not to asphyxiate ("Leh... guh... thee... kwoll!"), you're more than familiar with the term Lega-sequel. So this mini-sode is probably completely pointless. Enjoy!
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If Booksmart, does that mean Moviedumb? The answer may surprise you...
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What's this?! An episode where the Pals have decided to discuss the sometimes illustrious, oft-ignominious life of Oscar, Sesame Street's grouchiest denizen? Or is it, instead, a dialectical in which the automobile industry of Australia and its multivalent products (colloquially known as Oz-cars) are given a right old lashing of the Pals' ever-waggling mouth slugs? Or, perhaps, it's some third, even more ludicrous thing? All false, I fear! Instead, the Pals are discussing the upcoming Academy Awards, including their opinions on the films themselves, as well as their predictions of the night in question. Huzzah!
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You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow... Well, no, not quite like that. That's less of a whistle, more of a, uh... wet trumpet, I guess. Overall, not a very pleasant soun-- Hup, still goin' are ya? Right, well, yes you... you certainly are enthusiastic. By the by, couldn't help but notice the golden cap you have on one of your incisors. That's... yeah, that's a choice. Adds a strange texture to this this whole damp farty-mouth thing you've really chosen to stick with... Y'know, you're actually not bad at that. If there were some kind of award, I reckon you'd be in the running. Maybe some prize given to the best spittle-flecked lip vibrations by anyone with a gold-encrusted tooth. I guess they'd call them... the Yellow Mouth Brahps? I dunno, something along those lines. Whadda ya want from me, huh? HUH?!
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On the seventh day, God rested. He had created the heavens and the Earth; all things terrestrial and cosmic had unfolded and sprung from His benevolent palms, twisting together in arcs of splendour and horror to find shape in four key elements: fire, water, wind and soil. And yet, in his infinite wisdom and boundless scope, the Lord had neglected the fifth and final element, the crucial component that would fuse these disparate particularities, making them greater as a whole than they could ever hope to be apart. God, realising his error, gave His golden wrist a mighty flick and willed into being this ultimate entity, the adhesive property He had forgotten that would guide the world into everlasting glory and hold back the tide of our suffering: He created Bruce Willis.
And the rest, as they say, is Pal-story...
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Why do we kiss? Is it just to swap spit?
To supplement words when we lack any wit?
Are we driven to taste what someone has eaten?
Does it lift up our spirits when our will has been beaten?
And what about watching others lock lips?
What's up with that? Seems sorta suspish...
Are we perverts, romantics or something between
When we're moved by the smackin' we see on the screen?
This rhyme holds no answers, all truth is amiss
So pucker up, Pals, and give us a kiss!
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Did you know that in French, death is known as "the little orgasm". It's true, kinda! Perhaps that's why Marion Cotillard looks like that when she snuffs it in The Dark Knight Rises. Well, since people have been dying on the big screen almost as long they've been dying to get onto the big screen, the Pals compiled some of the most convincing (and even some of the most non-vincing) death-de-liars of the celluloidal era, in this Short and Sweet (also know as "The Die-t Edition") of instalment of Throw in the Pal.
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The Exorcist is a story of pain. The pain of late 20th-century America, torn asunder by the dual impulses of its self-avowed exceptionalism: the urges to expand and to conserve. The pain of raising children in a world where spurious, quasi-religion dichotomies of vice and virtue erode under the weight of moral relativism. The pain of confronting one's own frailties, not just those of the flesh but those of the spirit, the pale recognition that love has its limits but terror, as always, is infinite. The pain -- most especially -- of letting Jesus f@$k you.
Pal-lelujah!
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[read as a flamboyant pirate]
Why durst we cry when we're happy 'n sad?
Is it cos of the burden of being, me lad?
The land-lubbers cling to their dirt and their dwellin,
While seafaring cineastes're like to be yellin'
For somethin' twixt joy and a tidal despair
That costs naught but yer tears, so buyer's beware!
In venturin' this far, you're showing some foul
Inclination to voyage, and to Throw in the Pal
- Visa fler
