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My perspective is that we are the most divided culture ever right now. Every issue is a trigger for everyone and you are required to stand on one side or the other or be deemed negligent or ignorant. And if someone aligns with a differing side or perspective, you need to distance yourself from them. To me it feels like we’ve fallen into the most strict, religious culture ever. Everyone has their set of beliefs according to the religion of their perspective, and if you believe differently, you are judged and sentenced to crucifixion. I think it’s toxic and poisoning our society. So a book came across my desk from someone…I would not normally have on my show. But doing so, I feel, beautifully represented the point. Why is it a threat to sit and have a discussion with someone who may have differing values and perspectives? Who lives a different lifestyle? My guest is Kat Timpf. Kat is a writer, comedian, and libertarian commentator. She’s currently the co-panelist of “Gutfeld!” on Fox News weeknights at 10 p.m. and a Fox News analyst. She’s also the author of the New York Times bestseller "You Can’t Joke About That: Why Everything is Funny, Nothing is Sacred, and We’re All in This Together." Her new book is what got my attention, I Used To Like You Until…:How Binary Thinking Divides Us. Kat’s life and lifestyle couldn’t be further from my own. But I found our views on cultural division are very similar, and I was honored to sit and have this discussion with her. I think there is a lot for all of us to learn.
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Talking about a good life feels like speaking to success. What makes it up? And we generally say that we must define this for ourselves. Agreed. However, my guest has been studying this for a long, long time, and to have a good life he’s found it boils down to three buckets. Categories if you will. Jonathan Fields has come to be known as “the good life guy.” He has a wildly popular podcast called The Good Life Project. I’ve had Jonathan on my show twice and often reference his profile that looks at what makes us come alive in our work, which you can find at sparketype.com. This conversation happened years ago when I sat down with Jonathan just to dig into what he’s found really makes up a good life. He had written a book called The Good Life Project that really put him on the map. I also just dug into Jonathan himself and what got him to the point to embrace this movement and become the leader he’s become and is becoming to so many people pursuing a good life. I found the conversation incredibly intriguing and believe it will give you a lot to think about in regards to how you are living, loving and leading.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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In my show with TJ Powers, talking through his book, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins, he lists out 20 activities to address all those brain chemicals, and I want to give it to you, whether you buy the book or not. If you can add just one to your day, you’ve at least done that to advocate for your mental well being and overall capacity. I’m thinking about looking at it every morning, then going through it as a checklist in the evening to see how I did. Let’s talk through it now.
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In our culture today, the concept of “slowing down” has little attraction. We are enamored with speed. So instead of trying to sell “slowing down” let’s look at what the point of questioning our speed is. Imagine going to hike the Grand Canyon. Or another nearby attraction, Las Vegas. And imagine if your goal is speed. Do you want to just get through either of them as fast as you can? Or would you rather explore and experience what they have to offer? Now come back to our lives in general. Forget the idea of slowing down. I’m questioning our societal quest for tech and AI and travel to continually speed us up. What is the point? Is it working? Are you getting happier as a result? Let’s talk. My muse for this discussion is from my recent conversation with TJ Powers and the message in his new book, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. Find TJ on Instagram @tjpower.
In our culture today, the concept of “slowing down” has little attraction. We are enamored with speed. So instead of trying to sell “slowing down” let’s look at what the point of questioning our speed is. Imagine going to hike the Grand Canyon. Or another nearby attraction, Las Vegas. And imagine if your goal is speed. Do you want to just get through either of them as fast as you can? Or would you rather explore and experience what they have to offer? Now come back to our lives in general. Forget the idea of slowing down. I’m questioning our societal quest for tech and AI and travel to continually speed us up. What is the point? Is it working? Are you getting happier as a result? Let’s talk. My muse for this discussion is from my recent conversation with TJ Powers and the message in his new book, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. Find TJ on Instagram @tjpower.
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I’m a very visual guy, so I often think of visual analogies to help me better conceptualize a concept. So imagine you are watching a video tape of yourself, sped up to show all your activities for a day. With special attention on how much time you are looking at screens and what you are looking at. How many times do you look at your phone? How many times on your computer are you viewing social media or entertainment or even just random information or news updates? Let’s call it non-productive viewing. Do you resemble a contemplative, thoughtful, focused person? Or an addicted squirrel? I’m going to bet you are far more squirrel-like than you’d expect. I believe I am, and my recent talk with TJ Powers about how we build up and deplete our brain chemicals really has me considering this. Let’s talk through it a bit. TJ Powers’ new book is my muse, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. Find him on Instagram @tjpower.
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Sometimes an analogy comes along that just clicks. It takes information you may have heard before and helps drive it home. That is what happened with my guest in this show regarding the brain chemicals that fuel our drive and motive. TJ POWER is a neuroscientist and innovator in the area of mental health. His work focuses on providing easy-to-adopt, scientifically backed teachings that empower people to take action towards healthier lifestyles. He has a really big following and when I got his book, I understood why. The book is, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins, and in it, TJs explanations helped me see how I am increasing or depleting the brain chemicals I rely on to do the important work in my life. Most of us have heard much about dopamine, but do we really understand how we increase and decrease it? Then also, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Now the point isn’t to understand each one fluently, but to understand how they help us and what we are doing in our everyday lives that help or hurt them. I was most interested in what I learned about how I’m depleting some of these chemicals early in the day, and then later it feels like I’m lacking drive and motivation. I trust in listening to this conversation, you will be able to understand what these chemicals do for us and like me, now understand how to far better leverage them to do the things you truly want to do. You can find TJ Powers on Instagram @tjpower.
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In the world of personal development you hear a lot of stories of people making huge changes. Rags to riches, zero to hero, and massive life turn-arounds. It makes for a great story, but is it relevant for us? In 2003 I was at a critical juncture in my life where I'd bit off more than I could chew. I abruptly quit my cycling career and business, moved my wife and three kids cross country and started a new life. It was needed. Since then, most changes have not been quite so massive. We tend to look at the circumstances to guide, if not force us to action. But now I pay attention to where my heart is. With that in mind, I bring you a story that I feel will help you consider where you are. Rich Roll. The guys is famous for his story, and today, his gigantic podcast, the Rich Roll show. Years back I sat down with Rich to dig into his story. Here are the highlights; Rich was 39 years old with degrees from Stanford and Cornell. He was a corporate lawyer, married with three kids living in a dream house he'd built. Then one evening he finds himself at home, it's 2am and he's spent hours watching TV and eating junk food and he's winded after walking up eight steps in his home. An image of his wife and daughter at her wedding in the future, and he wasn't there. He'd died from ill health. He looked in the mirror and saw a fat, out of shape, very unhealthy man, depressed, self-destructive and utterly disconnected from who he was and what he wanted to be. He said, “In that precise moment, I was overcome with the profound knowledge, not that I needed to change, but that I was WILLING to change. And I understood that any true or lasting lifestyle change would require rigor, specificity, and accountability. Vague notions of “eating better” or maybe “going to the gym more often” just weren’t going to work.” And, the rest you're about to hear more about. He became an ultra endurance athlete and now is a brand, in and of himself, of healthy living and life transformation. Find him on your podcast player, just search for Rich Roll.
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Anytime a question like this is posed, you really expect that it’s bait to pull you in and emphasize in this case, how we really, massively need community. I’m not going to do that. I’m quite an introvert and I don’t often enjoy groups of people. I want to look at what community can look like for different people. My muse continues to be Ian Morgan Cron from his new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. The 12 Steps came from AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, which I view as one of the most powerful and valuable communities ever. But I don’t see many communities that function as it does. I will cite some others however. The point though is, asking what the value really is, or isn’t, for each of us to consider.
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A couple episodes ago in my conversation with Ian Morgan Cron on addiction and the benefits of 12 steps, he started off talking about the “great human ache” we all feel and are trying to address. Ian is a man of faith, actually an Episcopal priest along with all his other roles. For him the ache is an aspect of separation from God. That is his faith. It may not be yours. It may not be mine. But in my own experience as a human, and in walking with so many, the concept of an underlying ache, interests me. It resonates some, but I also question it. So that’s this short episode…some thoughts and questions about the great human ache or what else may be troubling us beneath the surface. Ian’s new book again is The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. Also find him at his popular podcast, Typology.
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I’ve often heard addiction debated, as to what really defines it. I typed into a search engine, “How do you define addiction” and this is what it showed; Addiction is when you have a strong physical or psychological need or urge to do something or use something. It is a dependence on a substance or activity even if you know that it causes you harm. It can impact your daily life. I don’t want to be flippant, but from that definition I’d say every one of us is on a spectrum of addiction. I don’t look at it as addicted or not, but how addicted to our vices are we. I think about this often, as I really, really like liking what I like. I love loving my pleasures. But I also concern myself with going too far. I’ll get candid with you here and follow in the footsteps of my guest in the previous episode, Ian Morgan Cron, as he shared about his ongoing struggles in his new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. Also find him at his popular podcast, Typology.
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Most everyone has heard of the twelve steps concept associated with Alcoholics Anonymous. I bring it here for all of us, whether you think you are addicted to anything or not, which is an arguable claim for anyone. Ian Morgan Cron is the bestselling author of The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, which has sold over one million copies. He’s a psychotherapist, Enneagram teacher, Episcopal priest, and the host of the popular podcast Typology. I had Ian on the show before to talk about the message in his book, The Story of You: An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self. Since he was on my show, Ian, this leader of so many, relapsed. It’s not an incredibly sordid story, but he has a past history of substance abuse. All these years later, he found himself reliant on some substances and questioning himself in significant ways. In this episode we talk through his story. We talk about what Ian calls, “the great human ache.” We discuss what addiction is, the need we all have for community to keep us on a healthy path, and how the 12 steps are relevant for anyone seeking well-being. Ian breaks down how the 12 steps covers making peace with God, making peace with self, making peace with others and cultivating a healthy and fulfilling life. Ian has captured all this in a brand new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. I hope you’ll join us in this conversation.
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I don’t think any of us chooses to wear a mask. But creating and wearing them is taught to us from early on. And in some cases, it’s a necessity to survive. Now here we are. Are we wearing a mask? More than one? I’m bringing an incredible show back from the archives. Lewis Howes is the host of the podcast, The School of Greatness, one of the biggest podcasts alive at this point. Lewis is a big, strapping looking guy. A former pro ball player. He looks like the definition of “all-American.” But few know that he began life with a learning disability, which led to being alone and bullied in school, to being sexually abused as a child. Years back he took on the topic of masculinity. Lewis’ research looked at the majority of stress, anxiety, and pressure men feel is due to the masks they wear. Now, if you’ll listen in, I feel the concept pertains very much to women too. Think of masks as certain personas we fall or buy into, and get trapped in. Then live from in a limiting life construct. Do you have any stress or anxiety? Do you feel any pressure? Would you like to be free of it? Let’s look at the masks you may find out you are wearing. You can connect with Lewis at “The School of Greatness” podcast, which you’ll find at the top of the podcast charts. You can get his book, The Mask of Masculinity, wherever you buy books, and find Lewis anywhere at Lewis Howes.
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With the big question and quest of what do we actually want for our lives, it strikes me that it is all just an effort to feel a certain way. We strive and strive for this and for that and to me it seems like a great mind game. I am not discounting the things we want to achieve, but I’m questioning some of what we do as a means to an end. I have found myself going after things I think I want. Then when I ask myself why, and why again, I realize it’s often to generate a feeling. And then I ask myself, do I really need to pursue whatever it is in order to feel the way I want to feel? Let’s talk about it.
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I recently posted a question on Facebook. The question was, “What is a book you have read, where you can honestly look back and say that after you read it, you made a tangible life-change for the better? What is the book, and what was the change?” About 75 people shared around 60 books. They could easily testify to the knowledge they received from the books, but very few could specify the change they made as a result. I have some thoughts on this.
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I find that people are far more clear on what keeps them from having what they want, than being clear on what they actually want. The job, the kids, the money, the chores, the upbringing, the government, the economy, the devil, and an infinite list of culprits are to blame for keeping people down. For stealing their dreams. For keeping them from what they want. However I find that if you ask the question, “OK, imagine you have 10 million in the bank. You have everyone’s support in your life. Now, what would you do? What would you do with your days?” Most people are very unclear. Which to me belies that many people actually want the grind and the responsibilities because without them, they don’t know themselves and they have little idea what they would do to occupy their time. The grind might as well be the purpose if we have no other clear purpose.
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The catalyst for writing my book, What Drives You, was realizing what I most wanted for my children, was for them to know what they truly want, and wrap their lives around it. From this inspiration I realized that while I had always been driven, I had often been unclear what I wanted, and what I was driving toward. As time goes on, I continue to perceive that truly, clearly knowing what one wants is one of the most elusive things of life. And getting clarity on one wants, may just be the ultimate success. So in this show, I bring on another expert on discovering what you want. Tracey Gee has also devoted herself to this quest for helping people understand what they truly, authentically want. Tracey is a leadership coach and consultant who has done extensive research in workshops and personal coaching with individuals seeking to discover what they want. She has a new book that caught my attention, The Magic of Knowing What You Want: A Practical Guide to Unearthing the Wisdom of Your Desires. We sat down to discuss how unaware people are of what they really want, and then talked through methodologies Tracey uses to help people, that I am very intrigued by. You can find Tracey’s new book, The Magic of Knowing What You Want, at Amazon, and find her at traceygee.me.
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I get to have deep conversations with people who have had great influence in the lives of so many people. Dr Henry Cloud became synonymous with the term boundaries after his groundbreaking book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, and has influenced millions of people in doing just that, taking control of their lives. I was a mere 21 years old when Dr Cloud’s Boundaries book published and wouldn’t become aware of boundaries for another 21 years, and wouldn’t truly implement them in my life till much later. Today, 33 years later, as I record this, the book is ranked #256. Incredible. I got the chance to sit down with him and Tom Ziglar a few years ago when Henry brought his focus and insight into leadership and influence. We began talking about boundaries, then got into leadership and influence. Influence is one of my favorite topics, as we all want influence. Without it, we can’t help anyone. I think you’ll get great insight from our discussion. You can find all Dr Cloud has to offer at his website, drcloud.com. And I don’t know anyone who would not benefit from reading his book on Boundaries.
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In the industry of self-improvement and personal and professional development, we are all familiar with the concept of not quitting. Staying committed. But in my experience, personally and in working with so many other aspiring people, we very often confuse the meaning of staying committed and not quitting. Here is a quick analogy: the Superbowl is coming up soon. Each team is committed to getting to the end zone and scoring. That is what they stay committed to. They don’t quit striving for it. But to get there they run plays. Imagine if they ran a play and it didn’t work. But somebody was yelling, “Hey, don’t quit! Stay committed to the plan and run that same play again!” So they do, and it doesn’t work again. But, don’t quit! So they run it again. Hold on. The plan is not the play. The plan is getting to the endzone. If that play doesn’t work, try a different play. So in your life, what is the end goal, result, or destination? The plan is to get there. Stay committed. Don’t quit. But you may need to try a lot of methods to get there. Let’s break it down a bit more. And this wraps up my series with world record mountain climber Jenn Drummond as my muse. You can find her on the Seek Your Next Summit podcast and her new book is, Break Proof: 7 Strategies To Build Resilience and Achieve Your Life Goals.
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My recent conversation with epic mountain climber Jenn Drummond, and my recent time with all my children has me again focused on the life I’ve emulated to others. I have much in my life I’m proud of, but I’ve also spent many, many years just grinding things out. I chose to have seven kids and adopt two more. Most people respond to that with respect and as if I’ve done something valiant. Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. But what my kids have seen as a result is a parent that is really busy. I went through a long period of life where I didn’t play. I didn’t do leisure. I didn’t “hang out.” I was productive. One, it was how I fed my self image. Two, it was fairly necessary with up to nine kids at home. I never asked myself what I was modeling for my kids. I ask myself that now, and like Jenn, I’ve altered my life accordingly. Let’s talk about it. Find Jenn Drummond at the Seek Your Next Summit podcast and check out her new book, Break Proof: 7 Strategies To Build Resilience and Achieve Your Life Goals.
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In yesterday’s episode I was with Jenn Drummond, world-record mountain climber, and talked about her story of a near life-ending car wreck that changed her perspective on life and got her looking at living a life of significance instead of just the so-called cultural success. So she went after the world’s biggest mountains. Why was that significant to her? I’d say…who cares? You might look at climbing mountains and wonder why that matters. And I’d say, it doesn’t. And doesn’t have to. The point is it means something to Jenn. And the bigger point of this episode is, what means something to you? What makes you feel proud of you? Is it a physical achievement like climbing mountains or running a 5k or marathon? Or is it learning to dance? Or learning a new language? Or volunteering somewhere? Or is it simply having a relationship and a family and working a solid job to pay the mortgage and be a solid member of your community? What is significant to you and helps you feel good about yourself is what matters. Let’s pursue it a little further. You can find Jenn Drummond at the Seek Your Next Summit podcast and her new book and my muse for this series is, Break Proof: 7 Strategies To Build Resilience and Achieve Your Life Goals.
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