Avsnitt
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What do you do with suffering? Jayson touches on the four noble truths and what they point to in everyday life. He explores why suffering is part of being human, what happens when you stop avoiding it, and how to be with your experience instead of trying to escape it. He also shares how making meaning from your suffering can change how you relate to your life. If you are dealing with pain and want a different way to approach it, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
0:13 - Four noble truths1:01 - Life is suffering1:52 - Be with your suffering6:25 - Making meaning from sufferingLinks:
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How do you know if couples work is actually working? Jayson breaks down what good couples therapy should feel like and the signs you are making real progress. He explains why you need to advocate for yourself as a client, the two directions effective work should move in, and why you should be getting somewhere over time. If you are in therapy and wondering if it is helping, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
0:29 - How do you know that couples therapy is working?2:51 - Advocate for yourself as a therapy client5:08 - The two directions couples work should go6:24 - You should be getting somewhere in therapyLinks:
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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What separates a deep listener from a shallow one? Jayson breaks down why most people are not actually listening and how the lack of real curiosity shows up in conversations. He explains why follow up questions matter, what it means to ask real questions, and how losing curiosity in your relationship creates distance. He also challenges you to go deeper with the people in your life if you want real connection. If you want to become someone people feel truly heard by, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
0:09 The difference between good listeners and bad listeners1:27 People don't know how to ask followup questions5:12 Asking real questions8:07 Don't lose your curiosity in marriage11:00 Challenge yourself to go deeper with peopleLinks:
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Why does trying to change your partner backfire? Jayson breaks down what happens when you try to get your wife to change when she does not want to, and how unmet expectations turn into resentment. He explains the arrogance behind trying to shape your partner, why behavior change requests often miss the point, and what it actually means to love someone as they are. If you keep pushing for change and not getting it, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
2:53 - Trying to change a partner who doesn’t want to change5:44 - Resentment from unmet expectations8:49 - the arrogance of trying to change your partner10:09 - Stop making behaviour change requests11:44 - Trying to change someone is not loving themLinks:
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Why are feelings so essential for a strong partnership? Jayson explains how emotions are at the center of secure relationships and where therapy can fall short. He explores how to handle your child’s emotions, the feelings men are often taught to suppress, and what it takes to express yourself in a healthy way. If you want deeper connection in your relationships, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
0:35 - emotions are essential for secure relationships2:17 - the limitations of therapy5:45 - fielding your kid’s emotions6:55 - feelings men aren’t allowed to feel9:26 - learning to express your feelings appropriatelyLinks:
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How do you de escalate someone in the moment without making things worse? Jayson breaks down how to calm someone down quickly by staying regulated, entering their world, and validating what is real for them. He explains why trying to fix or win backfires, what it means to take ownership when needed, and why none of this works if you are not being genuine. If you find yourself dealing with big emotions in others and want a better way to respond, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
0:50 - how to de-escalate quickly2:39 - don’t get disregulated3:41 - enter their world4:58 - validate and own8:19 - you have to be genuineLinks:
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Why do so many of us avoid our feelings until they force their way out? Jayson shares his own experience with not wanting to feel and the cost of suppressing emotions. He explores the temptation to medicate symptoms without addressing the root cause, why people hold it together in public only to explode at home, and how the people closest to us can help reveal our deepest triggers. If you are tired of stuffing your emotions or afraid of what might happen if you let them surface, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
0:30 - Jayson’s experience with avoiding emotions6:40 - Medicating without addressing the root cause8:04 - Why people wait to explode at home12:58 - Other people can help us identify our triggersLinks:
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Jayson reflects on his role as a husband and father and the responsibility he once resisted. Why do some men pull back from commitment or shy away from the weight of leadership at home? He explores how primary relationships can become a spiritual path, what it means to surrender to fatherhood, and why time with your children reveals who you really are. This episode is an honest look at growth through partnership, parenting, and showing up when it would be easier not to.
Timestamps:
0:13 - Why Jayson didn’t want responsibility3:22 - Primary relationships as a spiritual path6:48 - Surrendering to fatherhood9:42 - When dads shy away from time with kidsLinks:
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What kind of world are we creating right now?
Jayson talks about the men in power and what they are modeling for our sons. He asks what happens when a culture loses its moral center. He makes the case that you cannot act like a jerk out there and expect peace at home. If you want change, start in your house. Start with how you show up.
Timestamps:
0:30 - What men in power are modeling for our sons1:56 - Losing our national moral compass7:00 - You can’t have a good home life while acting like an asshole9:29 - Real change starts in the homeLinks:
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Jayson explores what it really takes to be yourself in relationship and in life. Why does hiding who you are come at such a high cost? What kind of courage does it take to live authentically, and why do intimate relationships often force an awakening to your true self?
Timestamps:
0:35 - The courage to be oneself3:00 - You can’t be fulfilled when you hide who you really are8:13 - Awakening to who you really are through your intimate relationships13:43 - Jayson’s newsletterLinks:
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Jayson examines why the masculine feminine framework often creates more problems than it solves. How can this framing be harmful for men? Why does trying to change your partner keep people stuck? What role does attachment play in relationship dynamics, and what is a better way to understand gender issues altogether? Jayson also reflects on his own experience with this framework and offers a more grounded perspective.
Timestamps:
2:12 - How the masculine-feminine frame can be bad for men3:57 - The trap of trying to change your partner6:09 - The importance of understanding attachment8:53 - A better framing11:11 - Social determinants of gender issues12:19 - Jayson’s experience with the masculine-feminine frameLinks:
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How do you recognize someone who has actually earned wisdom? In this conversation, Jayson breaks down what makes an elder an elder. He explains why it has nothing to do with age or status, how real elders show emotional maturity, what it means to hold space without fixing or rescuing, and why outgrowing your parents is a part of becoming an elder. If you want to understand who to trust, who to learn from, or how to become someone worth following, this episode lays it out clearly.
2:21 - Elders are people who did the work5:46 - Elders hold space9:28 - Outgrowing your parents
Timestamps:Links:
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What happens when you spend your life trying to be the good one, the agreeable one, or the one who never makes waves? Jayson breaks down the hidden exhaustion that comes from living in your strategic self. He explains how masking drains your energy, why people in strategy stay on the surface, and what it takes to reconnect with your true self. If you feel tired from managing how you come across, this episode shows you why and what to do next.
Timestamps:
0:21 - Are you tired from wearing a mask?3:42 - If you’re trying to be good you’ve already lost5:12 - The difference between your strategic self and your true self7:10 - People in their strategy stay surface levelLinks:
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What makes securely attached families different? Jayson explores how self-examination and meaning making play a vital role in healthy relationships. He explains why understanding your own story and continuing to make meaning from it is essential for building lasting connection and security.
Timestamps:
0:40 - The hallmark of securely attached families2:55 - Clients need to do self-examination5:19 - Making meaning is an ongoing processLinks:
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What makes securely attached families different? Jayson explores how self-examination and meaning making play a vital role in healthy relationships. He explains why understanding your own story and continuing to make meaning from it is essential for building lasting connection and security.
Timestamps:
0:40 - The hallmark of securely attached families2:55 - Clients need to do self-examination5:19 - Making meaning is an ongoing processLinks:
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How do you know what to actually work on in yourself or your relationship? Jayson explains how to identify your pain points, avoid vague or unhelpful advice, and set goals that lead to real progress. If you’re tired of spinning your wheels in personal growth, this episode will help you focus on what really matters.
Timestamps:
1:50 - Identify your pain points4:09 - Don’t settle for vague help5:30 - Set goals around your pain pointsLinks:
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Keith Kurlander joins Jayson to explore why people suffer and how we can move closer to authenticity. Is personal development ever narcissistic? Why do so many people chase quick fixes instead of real education and growth? Keith and Jayson discuss the importance of connecting to your authentic self and what makes relationships thrive with greater ease.
Timestamps:
0:49 - Why do people suffer so much?8:00 - Being authentic to yourself24:00 - Can person development be narcissistic?38:00 - Seek education, not quick fixes58:30 - Getting connected to your authentic self1:10:00 - Couples who have an easy timeLinks:
Keith Kurlander, MA, LPC -Integrative Psychiatry Institute - Psychedelic Therapy Traininghttps://www.instagram.com/keithkurlander.ma/
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Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make them go away. It builds resentment, distance, and unresolved tension. In this episode, Jayson unpacks why avoiding conflict costs more than it saves, how to approach difficult conversations with honesty and care, and why vulnerability is the key to repair.
Timestamps:
1:00 - The cost of not having difficult conversations7:00 - How to have hard difficult conversations10:50 - Leading with vulnerability13:00 - Learning to repair after difficult conversationsLinks:
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In the wake of the Charlie Kirk shooting and the Evergreen High School shooting, Jayson reflects on the wave of hatred and blame that erupts online after tragedy. From a Buddhist perspective, he explores how we can stop seeing others as the enemy, reclaim our focus, and begin creating the kind of world we actually want to live in.
Timestamps:
0:44 - Hatred and blame on social media1:41 - A Buddhist perspective3:53 - Stop seeing other people as the enemy5:46 - Controlling your focus7:56 - The world I want to live inLinks:
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Jayson breaks down the hidden problems with reassurance. What’s wrong with saying “it’s going to be okay”? When is reassurance actually appropriate, and when does it backfire? What makes reassurance a problem in coaching or therapy? Jayson explains what to say instead and why a deeper response is far more effective for real growth.
Timestamps:
0:32 - What’s wrong with saying “it’s going to be okay”?2:12 - When reassurance is appropriate4:14 - The problem with reassurance as a coach or therapist6:10 - What to say instead of “it’s going to be okay”Links:
The Relationship SchoolFollow Jayson on social media:InstagramYouTubeLinkedInTikTokTwitterFacebook - Visa fler
