Avsnitt

  • In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships.

    Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world.

    I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work.

    I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that.

    In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist.

    Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better.

    In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband.

    No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better.

    Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you.

    About halfway through, another listener asks,

    “What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?”

    In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on.

    Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation.

    Xo Mel

    In this episode, you’ll learn:



    0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?

    Disclaimer

  • In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult.

    I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing.

    She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist.

    Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood.

    This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me.

    It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past.

    I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me.

    And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either.

    Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult.

    The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do.

    This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here.

    I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids.

    And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults.

    Xo Mel

    PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey.

    Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:



    3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma.8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that?9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera.17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood.28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system?37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this.

    Disclaimer

    If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

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  • In this episode, I’m making the topic of trauma easier to understand by taking you step by step through my recent revelation that I was struggling with past trauma.

    I was one of those people who thought I didn’t have trauma. And you may be like that too.

    But if you have trouble managing emotions, expressing your feelings, dealing with upset, you go on edge easily, you have trouble focusing, or you struggle with anything like anxiety….

    This will be very eye opening.

    The words “trauma” and “nervous system” are thrown around like candy online.

    I want to share the profound things that I’ve learned about both topics and how I’ve started to address and heal the trauma in my nervous system.

    This episode is personal, it’s important, and tactical, and most of all – it’s packed with tools you can start using right now.

    I hope this episode opens your eyes in the way that it did mine, and makes you not only understand this topic – but yourself a little bit better.

    And, to go deeper, I have a free 9-page workbook for you that serves as a companion to this episode to help you with your own healing.

    Just click here to access it.

    And, this episode covers sensitive material, including discussion of trauma and sexual assault. If this topic isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode.

    Xo Mel

    In this episode, you’ll learn:



    0:58: This episode is one of the most important I’ve ever created because of the powerful impact these learnings have had on my life. It will be the same for you.7:40: What is trauma anyway?8:40: Do you recognize yourself in these signs of past trauma?10:00: Getting honest: my personal story.21:15: What happens to me when I hear the sound of crunchy snow (and how this applies to you).24:00: Do you have to remember trauma to heal from it?30:30: If I have little-T trauma, does that mean my parents are to blame?34:40: This is what your nervous system is (and it’s not what I used to think).43:15: Here’s why your triggers were helpful then and why they’re not now.50:00: How can you get yourself out of survival mode and start to focus again?54:00: The difference between your two nervous systems.56:30: Six takeaways to help you switch from fight or flight to rest and recovery

    Disclaimer

    If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

  • In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you.

    The research, tools, and strategies you’ll learn in this episode are from an experience I created and taught to more than 250,000 students called “Mindset Reset.”

    The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfillment.

    Listen to today’s episode and you’ll learn how to train your mind using this easy, science-backed method.

    By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use an amazing filter in your brain to reset your mindset.

    This episode is also packed with takeaways and insights you can apply to your life and one surprisingly fun “brain game” you can play every day (even with your kids) to actively program a more powerful mindset.

    I can’t wait to share this with you and for you to apply it to your life and share it with the people who matter to you most.

    Xo Mel

    For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.

    This episode, you’ll learn:

    4:15: What does “mindset” even mean?9:00: The truth about why mindset matters.10:00: Is this just toxic positivity?16:30: Your brain has a filter. And if you’re not programming it, it’s probably working against you.26:00: How to beat self-doubt.31:00: Why you’re not meeting that special someone.37:00: The fun and simple brain game I play with my daughters.47:45: What to do when your thoughts and mindset spiral into the negative.55:00: I want this for you.

    Disclaimer

  • In this episode, you’re about to learn how to make your new habits stick.

    If you’ve struggled to be consistent with behavior change, you’re not alone. It’s easy to talk about habits. It’s a whole different thing to apply the science to your life.

    You are not the problem.

    The problem, when it comes to habits, is the lack of systems and hacks that help you stay consistent.

    There are 5 very specific, simple systems backed by science that you have to have in place if you want to make your new habits stick for good.

    It doesn’t matter if you’ve already bailed on your New Year’s resolutions or if the only habit you think you’re successful at is failing at habits. I’ve got you.

    If your treadmill just became the most expensive laundry hanger you’ve ever purchased, then this episode is for you.

    I’ll say it again:

    It’s not you; it’s your lack of systems.

    Stop relying on willpower to get you through.

    That’s not what you need. The research says you need systems.

    Today, I’ll teach you 5 essential ones.

    Let’s go, because your behavior toolkit masterclass series continues.

    Xo Mel

    For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.

    For a free workbook that dives deeper into the topic of habits and helps you apply what you learn, click here.

    This episode works together with the episode “The Ultimate Toolkit for Creating New Habits.” After you finish this one, check out that episode here.

    This episode, you’ll learn:

    1:36: Why it’s important to understand how to make habits stick4:50: The 75-day challenge I’ve taken on this year 9:30: The honest conversation you need to have with yourself before any change13:35: What to do if you don’t even know where to start with habits15:55: The five systems that will help you finally stick to your habits24:00: A simple hack from Harvard Business School to help you make better decisions28:25: The simple trick that helped people be twice as successful at quitting smoking32:40: The M&M experiment that proves decision fatigue is a real thing38:24: Why tracking your progress is non-negotiable 49:30: The plan that will save your promises to yourself51:35: The “keys to the kingdom” – establish this habit and others will follow more easily

    Disclaimer

  • In this episode, you’re going to learn exactly what you need to form new habits.

    Even if you think you already know everything there is to know about habits, you probably still struggle to apply this knowledge and make change stick.

    And if this topic is brand new to you, don’t worry; I have a way of explaining it that’s fun, and so simple even a 5-month-old puppy can understand it.

    Just because it’s science doesn’t mean it has to be complicated and boring.

    When we make change fun and easy to understand, you’re more likely to be successful in applying all of this research.

    That’s why this episode also comes with a free companion workbook, so that you not only listen and learn, but also go deeper and apply what you’re learning to your own life.

    You can download that for free at melrobbins.com/habits.

    I’ll teach you the three critical parts of forming new habits, and together we’ll unpack the brain research that explains why these parts are essential to your habit-making routine.

    When you’re done listening, you’re going to see that you’re making the same mistake most people make: you’re only focused on one part of forming a habit, and you’re missing the other two.

    I’m really excited for you to listen, learn, and apply all this knowledge.

    New habits begin as something you practice, and after applying this over time, they become who you are.

    Xo Mel

    Get your free companion download at melrobbins.com/habits.

    For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    8:00: Why willpower doesn’t work11:15: Why we struggle with new habits12:30: What actually is a habit?15:15: The free gift I have for you15:50: Why are habits important?19:50: What the research says about successful people25:10: What’s getting in the way of your new habits25:50: Three critical parts to all new habits must have27:40: Two ways Chris and I set ourselves up to succeed with our habits32:45: Six types of behavior triggers 38:50 What to do if you want to stop that nightly glass of wine

    Disclaimer

  • This is the pep talk you need.

    Change is hard.

    Which means you’re going to want to quit or give up.

    I call those moments F*** It Moments.

    Today’s episode is a little different because you’re going to hear me get in someone’s face who is about to throw in the towel on a big goal and a promise that she has made.

    When you hear me coach her, it will be like I’m coaching you.

    And once you’re done listening, I promise you won’t be saying F*** it, you’ll be saying F*** yes.

    Xo Mel

    PS: If you’re frustrated with somebody in your life who keeps calling it quits, let me do the honors and deliver the ass-kicking for you.

    For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:



    2:55: Why I started to cry when it came time to record this episode6:22: The one stupid thing that sent me spiraling into anxiety10:40: What Chris told me when I was ready to quit that made all the difference11:55: What I especially want you to know about you and these F-It moments12:50: Listen in as I coach a woman through her own F** It moment32:15: What triggers most addictive behaviors35:40: What’s REALLY a F*** It moment?37:55: Why F-It moments are actually good38:35: How to process your F*** It moment40:05: One thing I want you to hear loud and clear about screwing up

    Disclaimer

  • This episode will help you set the right goals for you.

    Goals matter. They make your life easier and they create a sense of purpose and meaning.

    But most people don’t set goals the right way, which is why they fail before they even start.

    That’s not going to be you.

    This episode is a comprehensive toolkit that will help you set the goals that inspire you and make you feel excited about the year ahead.

    And, it’s part of our month-long series covering the foundational research and topics related to creating a better life.

    Today, you’re not only going to learn the correct way to set goals according to research, you’re also going to identify 1-3 goals for yourself, and I’ll be doing the same thing right along with you.

    Have no idea what your goals are or where to even start?

    Don’t worry; you will by the end of the episode.

    You’ll apply the latest research every single step of the way.

    And that’s not all.

    You can access a free companion workbook at melrobbins.com/goals that will walk you through everything we’re talking about so you can go even deeper into this conversation.

    Expect your goals to change as you listen to this episode, so don’t worry about doing any of this “right.”

    By the end of this episode you will have even taken the first steps toward your goal.

    How cool is that? I can’t wait. Let’s get started.

    Xo Mel

    For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.

    For a free worksheet that dives deeper into the episode and helps you apply what you learn, click here.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    1:15: How do I set goals the right way?2:56: Why setting goals is so important: the truth from research8:24: The exciting new research about goals from Dr. Birkman that you need to know10:56: My three goals for 202313:05: I’m answering your top question about goals13:27: Four science-backed hacks to use when you’re not sure what your goals are16:20: Three qualities of the best goals21:48: Two components of a goal that you’ve got to have in order to achieve it27:07: What neuroscience says about why your brain needs these two components31:25: The five mistakes we all make when we set and try to achieve goals42:41: A powerful question about goals from Columbia University researchers that you should ask yourself44:57: Why setting a “high-low range goal” will make you more successful50:33: The most important thing you should do once you set a goal53:06: Here’s the crazy irony about achieving your goals

    Disclaimer

  • I want this year to be the best year of your life.


    So we’re going to talk about the one habit that researchers say has the biggest, overall impact on the quality of your life.


    And that habit is learning to be kind and loving to yourself.


    We all know we need to learn how to love ourselves, but no one has taught you HOW.


    Until now.


    In this episode, I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your morning routine.


    I’ve got loads of research to prove why this habit matters and how it will change your life.


    And bring your Kleenex.


    Today I’m not only answering questions from some listeners about self-love, I also invited my husband, Chris, to come on and explain why he thought this habit was so stupid when I first shared it with him.


    The conversation took a turn that I was not expecting.


    It gets very personal and both Chris and I end up crying. He shares details about a period of his life where the shame and sense of failure were so palpable that he couldn’t even look himself in the mirror. I’m so proud of him, and moved by his vulnerability.


    This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; the men in your life are struggling, too. That’s why we all need to be practicing this habit every single morning.


    You’re going to learn that love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. And that’s what I’m going to teach you to do.


    You’ll want to listen until the very end, because you’ll meet a woman whose entire life trajectory changed by simply trying this habit once.


    Want to learn more? All of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel.


    Xo Mel



    In this episode, you’ll learn:


    1:50 The habit that has changed the lives of thousands of people

    3:50 HOW do I love myself?

    4:28 Why it’s so hard to love yourself

    5:11 The secret to self-love

    6:04 What the science says about why you should do this after brushing your teeth

    7:05 50% of people find it impossible to do this

    9:30 Learn about neurobics and how it helps you learn a new habit faster.

    12:22 The dopamine hit that boosts your mood

    14:09 What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit

    15:25 One study about how this habit creates winning teams

    16:40 How this habit helped kids perform better and work longer

    20:48 Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first

    22:20 The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge

    25:19 Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life

    25:55 When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure

    34:00 What all men struggle with

    36:39 What Chris has to say to all the men out there

    40:20 Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do

    45:00 The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear



    For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

    To take the High 5 Challenge, go to High5Challenge.com.

    Get The High 5 Habit book or eBook.

  • In this episode, I am sharing 8 brand new studies and exciting new research about simple changes supported by science that can help you improve your day to day life, like…


    How to cut your gym time IN HALF and still get the same benefits.


    The surprising sound researchers say will boost your mood for EIGHT hours.


    The research on how mindfulness reduces your anxiety by 30% - the same as Lexapro.


    And so much more


    I’m also joined by Tracey, who leads our research and has helped me produce five #1 Audible Originals and all the science behind it.


    She’s found the studies; we are breaking them down together, and having a ball as we do.


    This episode is going to make you smarter and is packed with the tactical, simple, and science-backed tools that I know you love learning on this podcast.


    Pull up a seat and let’s go.


    Oh! And one more thing. As always, all of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel.



    Xo Mel




    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    0:13: Why the research studies and science you will learn today matter

    4:35: Why you can trust the tools you learn on this podcast

    5:56: Research study #1: A simple action that goes a long way

    12:32: Research study #2: The way to build strength in just 3 seconds a day

    19:25: Research study #3: The one sound that boosts your mood for hours

    26:43: Research study #4: A powerful tool for anxiety

    31:35: Research study #5: What a study with 20,000 high schoolers tells us about success

    36:56: Research study #6: One thing you can do to create lifelong positive memories

    44:43: Research study #7: How tiny guilty pleasures can strengthen your relationship with your partner

    52:01: Research study #8: The habit with the largest impact on your quality of life


    For full show notes, including a links to every single study and citation mentioned on today’s episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

  • Have you ever had one of those years where life seems to punch you in the face?

    Where one thing after another knocks you down, over and over, until you start to feel like you are never getting back up.

    Well, that was this past year for me.

    People I trusted betrayed me. Plus, I was living 150 miles away from my husband and son, alone in Boston during the week for work. I never saw my friends because I was too busy working. I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t taking care of myself in general. Honestly, I felt really lonely all the time.

    And looking back at pictures of myself from that time, it’s easy to see all of that in my face.

    I think we all know that the greatest lessons in life come from the most challenging things that you face. And while it’s true, it’s not easy when you are in the middle of it.

    This past year taught me 3 invaluable lessons, and today I’m sharing them with you.

    I know you’re going to nod along because you know these lessons are true.

    I don’t know why they are so damn hard to learn, but my hope is that by sharing what I struggled through and what I learned from, it will save you the headache and heartache that this year put me through.

    Xo Mel

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    0:24: The gory details from the hardest year of my life

    7:02: Lesson #1 from this year

    8:30: The journal prompt that gave me a wake up call

    11:43: How to identify the friction in your life and a major warning if you don’t pay attention

    15:21: Lesson #2 from this year

    16:55: How this podcast almost never came to be

    22:36: The epiphany our son Oakley had

    27:04: If you’re tired of your excuses… try THIS

    28:49: Lesson #3 from this year

    32:31: The mental health crisis I experienced this year and what it taught me

    For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

  • I’ve got a very special invitation for you today.

    Grab a spot on the couch next to me and my family here in Southern Vermont.

    Join our family as our three kids discuss all the parenting mistakes Chris and I made – and the things we did that built trust and brought us all closer.

    I’m really excited and proud to share this with you, even though there are moments where my kids absolutely school me.

    They also share wisdom and insights that are so profound, you’ll hear Chris break down and cry.

    This really isn’t a conversation about parenting at all. It’s about how you create a close and meaningful connection with anyone.

    So whether you’re wondering how to get closer to your family or your friends, everything we discuss applies to all relationships.

    This episode goes deep – we cover drinking, drugs, addiction, and what to do when teenagers stop talking to you or someone you love is dating someone that you don’t like.

    And, since so many of you have written in asking about my approach to parenting after hearing our kids on various episodes of this podcast, I’m also sharing our parenting philosophy.

    My family is getting real and raw in this discussion, and we’re inviting you to be a part. So join us. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this episode, and one thing you might want to consider is listening to it with your family. I guarantee you, it will spark very interesting discussions.

    Xo Mel

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    0:32: Why I recorded today’s episode

    3:25: Meet the Robbins family

    6:02: You keep asking: How are my kids so open with me?

    7:30: A frank discussion on drinking

    12:33: Why people don’t listen to you

    14:10: What Chris and I think the whole point of parenting really is

    18:27: Let’s talk about addiction, including groundbreaking new research from Mt. Sinai

    25:15: Our #1 piece of advice that will keep people honest with you

    30:55: What we mean when we say people in your life are “lie detectors”

    33:07: Why showing your feelings to loved ones is so powerful

    36:58: How to build connection with anyone

    40:52: When you keep repeating patterns you wish you could break

    44:44: Why you need to let kids be themselves

    50:52: Why you shouldn’t let people bounce from uncomfortable situations

    52:39: “I don’t like who my kid is dating” – advice that applies for any relationship

    1:01:52: Our #1 piece of advice for you

    For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

  • I know you’re busy. Which is why today’s message is the one thing you need to hear right now.

    I need this message too. We all do.

    Because there’s only one thing I want you to do this week:

    NOTHING.

    That’s right. I want you to do absolutely nothing.

    No, I’m not smoking anything funny when I say this. I’m dead serious.

    Hear me out.

    There is an art and a science to doing nothing, and we need to put it into our daily lives.

    All this constant doing is impacting your energy, your drive, your stamina, and your ability to be present, which in turn affects the decisions you make and your relationships.

    Look at it this way. What are you doing right now?

    Because I bet you’re scrolling through podcast episodes to listen to as you jump on your Peloton, drive to work, fold laundry, organize your desk, or whatever it is you do when you multitask.

    You and I live in a world that glorifies productivity and accomplishment. The busier we are, the more important we must be.

    But all that busyness is not making you happier or healthier. In fact, you’re writing to me every day asking how to deal with burnout and overwhelm.

    And look, I’m not exactly an expert. I struggle with this too, which is why I wanted to talk about it.

    I can’t even take a freakin’ bath without feeling the urge to answer emails on my phone (and oftentimes, I do).

    Like you, I have absolutely no idea how to do nothing.

    But I know I need to learn how to turn off and unplug, even if it’s just for a minute.

    This episode is the tough love that we all need. And it won’t require you to take a week off from work or be somebody who meditates all day.

    We’re going to talk about how to create moments of peace in your daily life, no matter how complicated it may seem right now.

    So whether you’re on vacation, studying for exams, running your own company, raising a family, or you’re in between three jobs, this episode is for all of us. And it’s one you deserve.

    Xo Mel

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    0:12: The only thing you should do this week – and why

    10:02: How to remain hopeful when you’re in the trenches and surrounded by high achievers

    13:19: The only advice you should be following

    15:41: Should you listen to people who don’t understand your life?

    17:36: How I handle jealousy

    19:25: How to make time for rest when it feels like a guilty pleasure

    24:00: How to get out of your head and into the moment

    26:40: What you and I will do at 2:13 pm every day

    33:29: The difference between laziness and procrastination (and how it applies to you)

    For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

  • I’m checking in on you and me. There's a lot going on in the world right now, and I am still reeling from the news that Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss died from suicide.

    If you had to ask me to list the 5 most positive people on the planet, The Rock would be #1, and tWitch would be #2.

    Having lost too many friends and people I love to mental health challenges like depression, addiction, trauma, and hopelessness – all of who died from suicide – I’m just so heavy with emotion.

    tWitch was beloved by millions for being Ellen DeGeneres’ executive producer, dance partner, and DJ on her talk show. He was a part of people’s lives 5 days a week, for years. He competed on So You Think You Can Dance and he had one of those million-dollar smiles that just lit up every room he walked into. He is followed by millions of people online who love the adorable dances that he, his wife Allison, and his 3 kids do.

    Seeing such a bright light like tWitch go out so suddenly at the age of 40, with 3 beautiful kids, a huge life, and adoring fans around the world…

    It just stirred up so much sadness inside of me, and this may be stirring up a lot inside of you.

    You don’t have to know tWitch personally (I didn’t – I am just a fan) to be profoundly impacted by the news of his death.

    This may be bringing up experiences of loss from your own life. It may also be reminding you of moments when you were really struggling, which is another reason why I felt the urgency to talk to you today.

    And I thought, maybe you’re sad too.

    Or having a hard time processing how someone who seemed to “have it all” and “so much talent” could come to a point where this could happen.

    Or maybe you are going through a tough time yourself.

    Or maybe you just need a friend to tell you it’s going to be okay and give you a boost.

    So I wanted to connect.

    I decided to roll out of bed, get right on the mic, and share what I'm feeling and how I'm thinking about tWitch's death so we can process this together.

    Please take 14 minutes to listen to this powerful message.

    I share my thoughts about how to process news like this and I also emphasize something tWitch always said:

    Be kind.

    Today, be kind.

    You never know what another person is going through, so be kind.

    And always, be kind to yourself.

    One thing you can do today is reach out to people you love. You never know what it’s going to mean to someone. If you don’t know what to say, you can share this episode.

    And, if you are in pain right now. PLEASE. There’s a difference between wanting to end the pain you feel, and wanting to end your life.

    You can end the pain with support and by taking small steps forward every single day.

    It can and it will get better.

    Please, if you need help, pick up the phone. You deserve support.

    Trained volunteers are standing by to help you. Call the National Suicide Hotline, which is 988 in the US. Different languages are available – click here.

    Or, text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line.

    Thanks for reading this and listening to this episode. And I just wanted to end by saying, I love you and it means more than you know that you are here.

  • I’ve lived with ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety for most of my life.

    And I’ve spent the last decade immersed in research around how to improve my mental health, but only recently did I realize there was a big missing piece to the puzzle when it came to being happier, more confident, and more present.

    That’s taking care of the brain.

    Your brain is your problem-solver.

    It’s your memory keeper.

    It’s a supercomputer.

    If the physical health of your brain sucks, it’s like having a beer belly with IBS for a brain.

    If you’re really committed to being a happier and healthier person, it's common sense to keep your brain happy and healthy. But…

    The science can be complicated and boring.

    More serotonin and dopamine would be great… but I zone out when I am looking at all the research.

    That’s why I asked one of the leading experts on brain health to be here today. Dr. Daniel Amen has 40 years of experience as a psychiatrist, 12 New York Times bestselling books, and he’s conducted over 200,000 brain scans, all of which back up the simple tactics he’s about to share with you.

    Today’s episode is jam-packed with practical information, so you may even want to listen twice. You can make your brain stronger and more resilient. There are specific changes you can make today, including supplements to take, a change to your walking style, a specific breathing technique to reduce anxiety, and more.

    Dr. Amen will also share the one powerful question he’s been asking himself every single day that keeps his brain strong.

    He also shares a recipe for a delicious mug of “brain healthy hot chocolate.” I’ll drink to that and a little Brain Health 101.

    Xo Mel

    You will learn:

    1:34: The results of my brain scan – and a huge finding that was discovered in my husband’s brain scan9:37: A simple 101 on the brain13:14: The 3 most important habits that have the biggest impact on brain health15:41: The exact thing to say to yourself first thing in the morning to improve your brain16:57: The specific two vitamins that are most important for the health of your brain19:38: The difference between serotonin and dopamine and how to achieve balance between the two25:08: How to tell if you have low dopamine & how to increase it28:55: Why strength training is so important for your overall health30:21: What cortisol is, why it matters, and how to reduce it32:03: The one specific breathing exercise that Dr. Amen recommends for an anxious mind36:06: How to calm a busy brain39:22: The 3 most important words for mental training41:27: What to do if you feel chronically tired43:30: The 5 most important foods for brain health44:21: How to make brain-healthy hot chocolate47:06: What a psychiatrist of 40 years would never do because it’s bad for your brain
  • Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people.

    It took me years to understand these truths.

    It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?”

    I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people.

    You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your parents have become the older they get.

    Me too.

    I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my frustration: It’s not them, it’s me.

    I’m refusing to accept three things.

    These things are hard to accept, and they’re true.

    Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your relationships will be way easier.

    In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and takeaways that you can put to use immediately.

    And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too.

    I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy).

    Hopefully today’s episode will.

    Xo Mel

    Key lessons:

    3:12: 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people.

    4:33: Rule #1 explained

    6:02: How do you deal with people who don’t want to change?

    9:00: Why some people can’t change.

    12:42: I’m embarrassed to tell you this story.

    19:49: Rule #2 explained

    20:37: Rule #3 explained

    21:44: My “6-month rule” for any complainer

    32:03: What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making

    40:23: The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature

    For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast


    Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here.

  • Have you ever had such a powerful coincidence happen in your life that you think…

    This must be a sign.

    The person sitting next to you at an event turns out to be part of the team you’re interviewing with next week.

    There is a hummingbird outside your apartment window on move-in day, and your grandmother always said she’d come back as one.

    You’re sitting in your favorite coffee shop, thinking of someone you haven’t seen in a long time, and right at that moment, they text you.

    You can’t explain how these things happen, but when they do, they give you goosebumps and make you feel just a little bit more confident and less alone.

    I personally love it when this happens. And I’m always on the lookout for signs that my life is moving in the right direction.

    Well, what if I told you that you can create more moments like this?

    That’s what we’re talking about today.

    These moments have a name: they’re called “synchronicities.”

    And my guest today is Dr. Tom Myers, a professor who researched and wrote his entire Ph.D. dissertation on the subject.

    You’re about to learn simple steps that will train your brain to create more of these impactful synchronicities in your own life, and three powerful reasons why it’s important that you do so.

    Today, you and I are hanging out at the intersection of psychology, science, and spirituality.

    Wouldn’t it be nice if your life had more of these magical moments?

    Looking for signs that you’re on the right path is not some cheesy thing to do; it’s yet another way you can get intentional about training your brain to help you experience life in a whole new way.

    I’ll also share a few stories from my life that are not only examples of synchronicity, but they will also give you goosebumps.

    I can’t wait to hear your “goosebump” stories, and I hope what you learn from our conversation today will teach you how to create more of them.

    Xo Mel

    I talk more about synchronicity, including a powerful story from my life and how to create more of them, in my New York Times bestselling book The High 5 Habit.

    For complete show notes, including links to every research study mentioned, see the episode page at melrobbins.com/podcast

  • I was lying in bed one morning, and all of a sudden it hit me…

    If I ever want to be truly happy, I have to stop doing THIS.

    So do you.

    What is this thing we need to stop doing?

    I call it the “Campaign of Misery.”

    In the background of your mind, there’s a campaign of misery running on a loop. And until you stop it, you will never experience the happiness, joy and contentment you deserve.

    I promise you - it is there. In the background - talking to you all the time.

    This is the missing piece to true happiness.

    When you remove the campaign of misery, you create room for joy.

    I recorded this episode the same morning I had this profound insight. What you're about to hear is a conversation with me and two friends and colleagues, Amy and Jessie. Pull up a seat at the kitchen table; I want you to hear me unpacking this breakthrough about happiness in real time.

    My two friends saw their “campaign of misery” immediately and started describing in detail the ridiculous ways they torture themselves. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod along, and you might even cry a little. We sure did.

    Because when you realize how much you rob yourself of the happiness you deserve, it is sad.

    I always say, this isn’t just a listening podcast, it’s a doing podcast. So by the end, there’s something specific I will be asking you to do with us while you listen.

    In three simple steps, you will join us as we put down the sword, grab a book of matches, and pick up the pen to write new default programming into our minds.

    Don’t worry, I’ll explain why you need matches near the end of the episode.

    And you’ll be so happy that I did.

    You have the power to change the way you think and the way you talk to yourself. You have the power to stop seeing all the reasons your life is hard and teach yourself to see how this could be easier.

    Yes, you can be happy.

    You can be content.

    But first, you have to stop making yourself miserable. Let’s support one another on this.

    If we fight this battle for happiness together, side-by-side, I am certain we will win.

    Xo Mel

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    What happens when you get caught up in your storiesMy profound breakthrough around the importance of mindfulnessHow to start celebrating yourself right now, no matter your mindsetThe 3 incredibly powerful mindset hacks I did with my friends and colleagues, Amy & Jessie

    Go deeper:

    Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here.

    Morning Pages inspired by Julia Cameron: The Artist’s Way

    For complete show notes, click here.

  • Buckle up and get ready to take notes because this episode is a masterclass.

    The tools you’re about to learn will help you become more confident, influential, and even make more money.

    Today, we’re talking about The “It” Factor.

    Some people just seem to have IT, right?

    When I think of The It Factor, people like Oprah, The Rock, Taylor Swift, the Dalai Lama, and Martin Luther King, Jr. come to mind.

    These people make you want to lean in, join in, and learn more.

    So today we’re asking…

    What is “It” that some people have that makes us automatically trust and like them?

    And, more importantly, how can you get it?

    Here to answer that question is Vanessa Van Edwards, a best-selling author, researcher, and founder of the behavior lab The Science of People.

    I cannot wait for you to dig into what she has researched.

    Turns out The It Factor has another name: charisma.

    And the good news?

    YOU can learn how to have charisma, starting today.

    You’re going to want to. Research finds that charismatic people are more influential, earn a higher income, and have a bigger impact at work, in their communities, and in their relationships.

    The secret to hacking it? Social cues, like body language and the way you speak.

    That’s why today’s episode is a masterclass.

    You’ll learn…

    Shocking research from Princeton about how people size you up3 things you must do in the first 10 seconds of a Zoom callTips for nailing an interviewThe major mistake you’re making as you speakHow to ask for a raiseA simple test that will help you figure out how charismatic you areWhy you never want to fake a smileTips for charisma for introvertsWhy a second impression is as important as the first

    That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Today’s episode is jam-packed with simple, tactical research and tools that will help you and anyone you care about develop the skill of charisma.

    And you deserve that.

    Xo Mel

    Join the free 5-day Wake Up Challenge with me and master your morning routine here.

    All show notes for this episode can be found at melrobbins.com/podcast


    Check out the video version of this podcast on my YouTube channel here.

  • Whatever you're doing right now, stop and make time for this conversation.

    Every single day, I get questions from listeners about self-love, self-hatred, and what it actually means to like yourself.

    I understand why it’s confusing.

    The topic of self-love is so broad, and there is very little actionable advice on how exactly you learn to like yourself, especially if you’ve spent your whole life being hard on yourself.

    So don’t worry, I’ve decided to attack this topic of self-love in a completely unique, surprising, and tactical manner. This is also one of the most personal episodes I’ve released because I’m inviting you to join a conversation I’m having with our 17-year-old son, Oakley.

    This is not a “podcast interview.” This is an intimate conversation between a mother and a son about the most important topic you could discuss: self-love.

    When Oakley was in middle school, he hated himself, and as his mom, it was awful to see him so lonely and sad. In today’s conversation, he shares things with me about this time in his life that I never knew.

    And more importantly, we unpack the moment he had an epiphany that changed everything.

    You will absolutely relate to everything he shares and his reflections about it.

    I’m so proud to share this conversation with you. You will be blown away because you’ll not only feel like you’re part of our family, but we’re also welcoming you into our hearts.

    You will laugh out loud, even though your heart might break a little. And by the end of it, you’ll have not only wisdom, but also a couple of simple tools to help you learn how to like yourself a little more.

    This conversation is a must-listen for EVERYONE in your life. And especially for young adults because when they hear these insights from someone their age, it’s way more compelling than getting advice from an adult.

    I do want to be up front about one thing: Oakley is 17 and like most 17-year-olds, whether they do it in front of you or not, he has a case of the F’s, meaning he drops the F-word a fair number of times, and I made a decision to record it as is and allow him to speak freely.

    And, I just can’t emphasize enough how much insight this is going to give you into your own relationship with yourself.

    I hope you will make the time to spend a half hour with the two of us, because I know you will leave feeling seen, understood, and liking yourself a little better.

    I cannot wait to hear what you learn.

    Xo Mel


    For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com