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Episode 126. Welcome to the first solo episode of an experiment I'm really excited about! I've done around 60 podcast interviews now (!!) and I LOVE it. So freaking much.
I want them to last forever and I have so much to say, but also I learn so much during and after the interviews.
So my new experiment, starting now is I will do a solo episode where I dive in to the topics that arose for me during the previous interview episode, where I can reflect on it, what I learned, and share more of my experiences related to the topic in a way that we didn't have time for (without a 2 hour episode)!.
For today's episode, I expand on my talk with Megan Gunnell. To here the initial interview, go here. I am setting these episodes up so that you don't have to listen to the interview episode first, but you may want to go back to it after you listen to this episode.
What to Expect In This Episode
Topics and questions covered:
Does psychotherapy training strip us our our creativity and self trust?
Should we as therapists pursue other ways of making money outside of 1 on 1 therapy?
How did I end up deciding to create a retreat for therapists? How am I feeling about it?
My journey and process with creating a retreat for the fall of October 2024
What did I/we learn from talking to Megan Gunnell about her process with creating so many amazing offerings outside of traditional 1 to 1 therapy
How has human design impacted me over the past few months?
What is a Zone of Genius and how can it help us work smarter, not harder?
And much more...
To listen to my interview with Megan Gunnell, go here.
To get on the waitlist for the next retreat, sign up here!
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Wanting more support beyond these podcasts?
I am currently accepting new therapy clients if you live in one of these 40 states in the US
My rate for an intake session is $220 and for a 45 minute follow up is $195
If interested in learning more, including my availability and details about my practice, email me at [email protected] or call 616-227-0001
Or if you are a therapist of helping professional looking to connect in community and learn more about or experience the IFS model, get on my email list here and/or email me at [email protected] to introduce yourself!
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.
Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!). -
Episode 125. This week's podcast episode was so good.
I had been following Megan Gunnell's work for a while.
And then unexpectedly, she reached out to me. (!!)
This sort of feels like what it might feel like for a celeb to reach out and ask to hang out.
She asked if I might want to meet up and talk about the potential for collaboration.
Umm... yes please!
We talked about potential for collaboration sometime next year (yay), but first, we decided to record this podcast.
A wealth of experience with THRIVING
Megan really is a representation of how I want to feel about my business and frankly, she's doing a lot of things that look amazing, like hosting retreats in Costa Rica and Italy.
She's such a model of what creative thinking can do for you, and how it can help you develop more healing modalities as a therapist in and out of the therapy room.
I think this is a model any human can follow. And we cover the simple, but not easy steps to tapping into her intuition and having the courage to follow her path.
Without further ado, let's dive in!
What to Expect in this Episode
We cover the following:
How Megan came to doing the amazing work she does today, including a story about the time she hosted something that totally flopped
The role creativity has played in her career journey, the times she was disconnected from creativity and how this impacted her
How she incorporated playing the harp into her 1 on 1 therapy sessions and the impact it had for her clients
Guidance for how to determine what work "sets your soul on fire" and the difference between fear because you aren't ready, and fear because you really are
Her journey with 25 years of hosting retreats and some of the many lessons she's learned
The book that lead her to realize that holding a retreat is a calling for her
How to determine if holding retreats is right for you and how to explore this question in a low risk way (including several great questions to reflect on for yourself)
Her specific process the month before holding a large retreat or event
Upcoming offerings including her Costa Rica Summit and a Retreat Intensive Program, see her many offerings for therapists here
And so much more!
Who is Megan Gunnell?
Megan Gunnell, LMSW is Founder & Director of the Thriving Well Institute, psychotherapist, group practice owner, speaker, #1 bestselling author of “Thriving as a Therapist” and international retreat leader with over 25 years experience. She provides coaching, online courses, retreats and summits to therapists who want to learn how to build and scale their business. She’s the admin of the Thriving Therapists® FB group with over 20,000 members. Megan received the Meta Community Accelerator Award for 2022-2023 for having one of the highest engaged facebook communities in all of North America. She has presented and facilitated workshops and retreats globally and nationwide. A recovering perfectionist and recklessly brave, she's not afraid of most challenges. You can find out more at: www.thrivingwellinstitute.com
Wanting more support beyond these podcasts?
I am currently accepting new therapy clients if you live in one of these 40 states in the US
My rate for an intake session is $220 and for a 45 minute follow up is $195
If interested in learning more, including my availability and details about my practice, email me at [email protected] or call 616-227-0001
Or if you are a therapist of helping professional looking to connect in community and learn more about or experience the IFS model, get on my email list here and/or email me at [email protected] to introduce yourself!
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Saknas det avsnitt?
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Episode 124. I get a lot of podcast pitches. Many of them, it's clear they've never listened to my podcast and have zero idea about my audience. Others are pitching people that have truly nothing to do with what a do (men's hair removal expert, anyone? Just why?).
Someone reached out to me to introduce Ann though and I was intrigued (I mean, read the bullets below, wouldn't you be?). I did my due diligence and listened to another podcast interview she did. And I immediately knew I had to have her on.
Her willingness to be open about her unique experiences growing up with her dad, his partner, and her mom all the in same house in the 80s is really fascinating. And her compassionate take on the evangelical conservative Christian approach to LGBTQ+ is really quite inspiring.
Without further ado, let's dive in!
What to Expect in this Episode
We cover the following:
How Ann came to doing the work she does today
What she learned from growing up in a queer household in the 80s
What she learned from attending a religious conversion conference as a queer female
How she is able to cultivate so much compassion for others who believe anything outside of heterosexuality is a sin
The most common issues LGBTQ+ members face and where she sees therapists miss the mark and cause harm
Ways she's engaged in healing that is outside of traditional talk therapy (I loved her answer on this!)
Her main takeaway she wants people to know when it comes to LGBTQ+ emotional well-being and mental health
And so much more!
Who is Ann Russo?
Ann Russo, is a business founder, psychotherapist, author, and mental health advocate with an MA in Theology from Loyola Marymount and an MSW from Long Beach State. In 2018, she founded AMR Therapy to provide culturally sensitive mental health services to queer communities and other underserved populations. Under her leadership, AMR Therapy has served over 1500 clients with a dedicated team of just 15 therapists and administrators.
Ann is a trained domestic violence and sexual assault advocate, specializing in trauma-informed care and first responder crisis management. She is currently developing specialized Continuing Education Units (CEUs) for therapists, focusing on critical topics such as ethical non-monogamy, sexual empowerment, religious trauma, and queerness. These CEUs are essential for professionals seeking to enhance their skills and better serve diverse populations. Ann also offers consulting services to mental health providers on these topics.
Her upcoming book, "Her Own Terms," delves into modern female sexuality using cognitive behavioral therapy, sex-positive perspectives, and psychodynamic insights. Raised in a queer, non-monogamous household, Ann’s personal and professional experiences enrich her approach, making her a relatable and insightful figure in the mental health field.
Ann is a prominent advocate for mental health and sexual positivity, frequently featured in articles, podcasts, and interviews. You can work with a therapist at AMR Therapy or connect with Ann directly by visiting the websites below.
You can connect with Ann by joining her email list here.
Website for Ann's group practice is: https://www.amrtherapy.com/
Ann's website: https://www.annrusso.org
To work with Ann or a member of her team, email her at [email protected] and mention "Body" in the email to let her know how you heard about her work.
For 20% off CEU coursework, sign up here.
Wanting more support beyond these podcasts?
I am currently accepting new therapy clients if you live in one of these 40 states in the US
My rate for an intake session is $220 and for a 45 minute follow up is $195
If interested in learning more, including my availability and details about my practice, email me at [email protected] or call 616-227-0001
Or if you are a therapist of helping professional looking to connect in community and learn more about or e... -
Episode 123. Today's solo episode is all about my thoughts about Creativity. I've been thinking about this topic a LOT lately. And it's been incredibly fun.
I read this book recently and already am re-listening to it. It's Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert and I've found it really inspiring. I have really been slowing down to think about how I can add creativity into my personal and professional life and how others can do the same.
So this podcast episode is all about my thoughts on creativity, including how I've evolved to use creativity as a psychologist and also in my personal life. I can't wait to share it with you!
Words of Wisdom
Quote from Elizabeth Gilbert:
"You're not required to save the world with your creativity. Your art not only doesn't have to be original, in other words, it also doesn't have to be important. For example, whenever anyone tells me that they want to write a book in order to help other people I always think 'Oh, please don't."
Do it for Yourself?
That quote actually really makes me laugh out loud.
So much of what I've learned in the online marketing world is about knowing your audience and speaking to their pain points.
In my training as a psychologist, I was taught to always focus on the other person and their needs, helping them to conceptualize their struggles, and from there, give suggestions to help.
None of these suggestions are bad, and yet, none of them teach us how to listen to our own bodies as we are marketing or delivering therapy.
And the more I do both of those things, the more I think that's actually the most essential skill to learn...
"I'm not a creative person."
I've said this so many times. I still sometimes say it.
But now at least I'm catching myself.
We all have creativity in us. It maybe got shoved down, but it's there. And re-engaging with it can be deeply healing.
In IFS it is said that when we can notice and get space and separation from our Parts, the 8 C qualities of self emerge: Creativity, Curiosity, Connection, Courage, Calm, Clarity, Compassion, and Confidence.
There are also 5 P words that can emerge, including, Presence, Persistence, Perspective, Playfulness, Patience.
Play and creativity are essential for how kids learn and I for one am excited to continue to rediscover this as an adult.
Why We Should Care About Creativity
“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner – continually and stubbornly bringing forth the jewels that are hidden within you – is a fine art, in and of itself.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert
I'll be perfectly honest, I want to convince you that creativity is important.
I went online and started searching in Google Scholar. There are definitely some articles to support this. Liz Gilbert's book has more ideas on this.
I come from a heavily science and math focused background. My dad was an engineer, and my mom taught math, and later computers, and then taught technology to other teachers.
I can't say that I grew up truly understanding the immense value of creative works. When I did art at school, perfectionism was majorly on the scene. If it wasn't perfect, I'd freak out (internally or externally, depending on my age).
Dancing as Creativity
My main exposure to the arts and creative expression was the fact that I danced from age 8 to 18, and the again for a few years in college on a college Pompon team.
I witnessed creativity, but I never felt creative. I struggled with choreography. I would just put together tricks I already knew, do a double turn into an axel jump, then jump forward and do a kick and a leap.
Ways I Engage in Creativity Today
Podcasting
Blogging
Thinking of new ways to engage clients and therapists in innovative ways to heal themselves (while, creatively, healing myself too - see what I did there? -
Episode 122. In deciding which episodes were worth replaying for you this summer, this one immediately came to mind for a few reasons.
First of all, I've referenced this conversation many times since I had it in July 2021 (3 years ago!!). I've talked about it on the podcast, and I've referenced it in my head.
To share how it's impacted me, we have to review one of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes:
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
- Dr. Maya Angelou
I'll be honest, it's been 3 years and my memory is not great. So I don't remember exactly all the things Adia and I talked about (although I reviewed some of the topics in the lists below).
But I remember exactly how I felt when she was modeling how you might talk to yourself when you were feeling shame.
It felt like a gut punch. A big puzzle piece clue. Saying, "Hey Shawn, if you were wondering where else you need to look to take your next step in healing, it's here!" Overall message: "You still have some shame to unpack and work out!"
What To Expect in This Interview:
Dr. Gooden opens up about how struggles with self-worth manifested in her life growing up.
How she learned the hard way that external validation of worth – be it a doctoral degree or losing 50 lbs – are common motivators, but don't work long-term.
Her thoughts on the field of psychology and our training to not self-disclose, and how she's shifted this and why
Common barriers to unconditional self-worth
Incredibly valuable language for shifting towards true self-compassion
And so much more!
Top Things to Remember While Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth
You are under-utilizing the skill of self-compassion. I can almost 100% guarantee it. Instead of beating yourself up, or just taking a practical approach (“you messed up, don’t dwell on it, move on.”) you can name and make space for your pain, while still holding yourself accountable. You can talk to yourself as you would a small child who is in pain. “I see you, you’re okay. I got you.” This shift alone, when mastered, can change everything.
Many of the ways we think about mental and emotional well-being are incredibly outdated. And often harmful when they further stigmatize struggle and have groups of us pretending that we don’t struggle, while our clients do. In the field of psychology, the precedent is not to share, to be a blank slate, to be objective and a suggestion or advice dispensary. And yet, when we question that, not only can we help people more effectively, we as professionals can also be more free to bring our full selves to work. This relates to our discussion in Episode 27 about 4 Reasons you should share your story (and why I shared mine). The reality is, we aren’t going to fall into categories or checkboxes. This person has depression and self-worth issues, this one does not. This one has developed self-compassion, this one hasn’t. It’s a journey that we are all on and we ALL have shame and self-doubt. We can all work on and benefit from the skills mentioned here.
The more you work on your relationship with yourself, the more you will be able to do vulnerable things, and pick yourself up when you inevitably fall. It does not need to be, “develop self-worth first, then do uncomfortable things,” OR “fake it until you make it, just do the hard thing no matter how you feel.” Your life is yours and yours alone. Don’t avoid things you value or get stuck in perfectionism, but don’t feel like you HAVE TO do something just because someone says so. You get to choose.
External boundaries can help behaviors with delayed gratification to become more intrinsically motivating, under the right conditions. Dr. Gooden talks about her initial resistance to meditation, and how being forced to teach it and practice it allowed her to gradually see the benefits. -
Episode 121. One of the questions I get most often from people when they learn that I'm aligned with the Health at Every Size® movement is some version of this:
"But I've worked for many years in XX setting and I've seen how people suffer when they have excess weight on their bodies. How can we really say that people can be healthy at every size?"
Today's encore episode is a replay of my conversation with Dr. Jillian Murphy that answers this question incredibly well. I can't wait to share it with you!
What To Expect in This Interview:
We cover the following topics:
Why Health at Every Size® is not just a social movement, but an evidence-based movement rooted heavily in science. She breaks this down in a way that I truly haven’t heard before, so make sure you stay tuned to really understand why and how this isn’t just a “don’t judge people for their body size” movement (though that’s of course very important, too!)
We talk about her training as a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine and where her focus is, as well as the ways that her training, just like pretty much all standard training programs, were steeped in diet culture beliefs.
Her experience with orthorexia and how she finally fully cut the diet culture cord.
We talk about her work learning about competent eating through the Ellyn Satter Institute and the power of this approach for kids and adults. I’m SO excited for this part of this conversation, because we talk about a nuanced approach to moving towards a flexible, healthy, sustainable relationship with food called Competent Eating that can be really helpful for people who want more structure than Intuitive Eating provides. Super cool.
What You Need to Know About Weight Inclusivity, Health at Every Size®, and How You can Immediately Start Improving Your Health
The weight-inclusive Health at Every Size® movement is social. All bodies deserve dignity and respect and we don’t current provide that. This is well documented and incredibly harmful.
The weight-inclusive Health at Every Size® movement is scientific. Not that social and science are separate per se, but there is immense amounts of evidence that the link between weight and health cannot be fully causal, for many of the reasons that Dr. Murphy outlines so well. She talks about the fact that thinner people have all the conditions we blame on weight (heart disease, diabetes, cancer, PCOS) so for that reason alone we know it can’t only be weight that is the problem. We cannot establish a causal relationship with weight causing the health problems it’s blamed on (e.g., heart disease, diabetes, PCOS, cancer, etc). This doesn’t mean there aren’t co-relations, but we know it isn’t as simple as “fat causes X” as so often is the assumption. There could also be underlying genetic causal relationships that are causing the weight gain and the disease process.
We don’t currently have consistently effective ways to lose weight long-term without sacrificing well-being. We don’t cover bariatric surgery at all in this interview, although frankly I’d love to hear Dr. Murphy’s thoughts on that, but when talking about long-term significant weight loss (more than just a handful of pounds, although this depends on current body size), without surgery or medications, the odds of that happens without collateral damage is quite low. So, even if we could establish a causal relationship (e.g., excess weight causes disease), we don’t currently have effective ways to help people lose weight and keep it off, without a sacrifice to well-being, physically and emotionally.
There is a much wider arrange of body diversity than the medical community currently allows for. Body diversity is a fact. This results in significant problems including lower quality of care, weight stigma, bad advice, and leaves most people increasingly losing faith in themselves, versus recognizing that the system fails to improve health in the vast majority of folks with these strugg... -
Episode 120. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I am often profoundly changed by the impact of the conversations I have on this podcast. I still remember quotes and concepts from people I interviewed a year ago, and I still sometimes re-listen to the conversations to remind myself of the lessons I learned from them.
This conversation with Dalia Kinsey, RD, LD, from May 2022 was extra special though. And I’m actually having a hard time putting into words why exactly that is. I think part of it is Dalia’s presence, and the generosity and vulnerability that is shared, including the process from behind the scenes of this week’s. Beyond that, however, Dalia’s compassion for others, myself included, who have very much missed the mark with wellness, health, and lack of diversity in related fields, made this conversation all the more meaningful.
Inviting Dalia on the podcast was important to me because I truly believe that moving towards true wellness and health means we must un-learn a lot of what we have been taught. Not only about what is healthy from a weight-centric model, but so much of what we have been taught about race, sexuality, and generally how so many of our systems, educational models, and structures are set up to serve white people, not persons of marginalized backgrounds.
I’ll admit: I have total imposter syndrome when I talk about or write about topics related to diversity. I’m afraid I’ll mess things up, like say the wrong things or offending someone (my deepest fear). But I know deep down it’s a privilege to be able to choose to learn about and talk about these topics or not, and I am working on continuing to choose the (typically mild) discomfort, so I can continue to learn and grow.
I hope you will listen in on this conversation and hear the incredible gift that Dalia has given to the world by sharing this book with the world. I truly believe what I said, that I think this book truly benefits anyone who wants to learn about wellness and inclusion as an individual or as a healthcare provider.
I hope wherever you are in your journey of learning about diversity and where we in the US and other countries have greatly missed the mark, that you will remain open, curious, and humble and continue to be open to learning more. And remember that (as I often have to remind myself) you don’t need to know it all, you just need to ask question and listen. There’s so much value to be gained from learning about the amazingly diverse experiences of humans and I’m incredibly grateful that Dalia shared with us via Decolonizing Wellness, but also that I was able to have this incredible conversation as well.
What To Expect in This Interview:
We cover the following topics:
How Dalia came to doing this work, and the courage it took for Dalia to write Decolonizing Wellness, and the incredibly vulnerable process of doing so
Some examples of the many ways that health and wellness spaces miss the mark when it comes to persons of diverse and/or marginalized identities
What Dalia means by “When you queer anything it becomes more inclusive” (and why I’ve never been more convinced of this after talking to Dalia and reading Decolonizing Wellness)
What Dalia wishes more people understood about these topics
And much more!
Who is Dalia Kinsey, RD, LD?
Dalia Kinsey is a queer Black Registered Dietitian, keynote speaker, the creator of the Body Liberation for All podcast, and author of Decolonizing Wellness: A QTBIPOC-Centered Guide to Escape the Diet Trap, Heal Your Self-Image, and Achieve Body Liberation. On a mission to spread joy, reduce suffering, and eliminate health disparities in the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community, Dalia rejects diet culture and teaches people to use nutrition as a self-care and personal empowerment tool to counter the damage of systemic oppression. Dalia works at the intersection of holistic wellness and social justice, continually creating wellness tools and resources t... -
Episode 119. In today's solo episode, I'm going to share some of what I've learned about IFS and how it works based on both my personal and professional experiences thus far.
I'm also going to talk about learning to slow down, how it's a journey I'm still on, and how IFS helps me actually do it, specifically focusing on my example of my Overworking Part, which I learned as I talked through this episode is very linked with my "Optimizing my Experience" Part (also described in my episode with Randi Rubenstein).
In this episode I share my process of recognizing my Overworking/Optimizing Parts, appreciating them, and helping to do things (like record this episode for you!) from a more embodied and grounded place.
In the middle of the episode, I lead you through an IFS based meditation to get to know a Protector Part of yours, Overworking Part or otherwise. Then I cover 3 of the main lessons I've learned from experiencing IFS.
Without further ado, let's dive in!
But First, Words of Wisdom
“Compassion as a spontaneous aspect of Self blew my mind, because I’d always assumed and learned that compassion was something you had to develop. There’s this idea—especially in some spiritual circles—that you have to build up the muscle of compassion over time, because it’s not inherent. Again, that’s the negative view on human nature at play. To be clear, what I mean by compassion is the ability to be in Self with somebody when they’re really hurting and feel for them, but not be overwhelmed by their pain. You can only do that if you’ve done it within yourself. That is, if you can be with your own exiles without blending and being overwhelmed by them and instead show them compassion and help them, then you can do the same for someone in pain who’s sitting across from you.”― Richard C. Schwartz, No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
The Top 3 Lessons I Have Learned Through Experiencing IFS
Cognitive Self-Compassion is Very Different Than Heart Self Compassion. It's totally different. And I was definitely always practicing the cognitive type. This really came to light for me when I talked with Dr. Allyn Richards in episode 108 (you can listen here). We both experienced compassion for ourselves by practicing IFS in a way that was totally different than anything we've tried to do in the past.
You Have to Life it to Give It. Hearing this always felt annoying to me. But also so true. I always heard that you shouldn't teach meditation if you don't have a meditation practice. Well, I occasionally taught it, but I definitely didn't have a practice.
Talking About Parts is Very Different than Talking to and Building a Relationship with Parts. One of my trainers in my Level 1 mentioned that she often sees therapists saying they are doing IFS, when really they are talking about parts with clients, which can be helpful. Many of us, therapists especially, have developing amazing conceptualization and analyzing parts that helped us a TON. And also, they are still parts. When you truly build a relationship with and honor these parts, new levels of healing and embodiment open up, likely that you didn't believe were truly possible.
Wanting more support beyond these podcasts?
I am currently accepting new therapy clients if you live in one of these 40 states in the US
My rate for an intake session is $220 and for a 45 minute follow up is $195
If interested in learning more, including my availability and details about my practice, email me at [email protected] or call 616-227-0001
Or if you are a therapist of helping professional looking to connect in community and learn more about or experience the IFS model, get on my email list here and/or email me at [email protected] to introduce yourself! We may be starting another IFS based community group soon.
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!) -
Episode 118. Today's episode is a special conversation with Dr. Amy Neeren who has shown amazing resilience in terms of finding a career in psychology that felt right for her, and a big piece of that has been pursuing a career outside of her full-time work as a psychologist in writing fiction.
She has published two children's books in the traditional publishing world (NO SMALL FEAT, as we learn in this conversation) and is working on a novel now. All of these writings have a tie to mental health, and to her story to some degree.
We talk about how writing can be so healing, and so hard, why she does it, why she chose traditional publishing route, and what keeps her going.
I really enjoyed this conversation and I'm sure you will too.
What to Expect in this Episode
We cover the following:
Amy's journey to getting a PhD in Clinical Psychology and how stuck she felt after getting her degree and not finding private practice to be right for her
How Amy got into writing (including whether she always wanted to be a writer or not)
Why she chose traditional publishing over self-publishing
How long it took Amy to publish her first and second books (these answers shocked me)
The new project she's working on now
How she feels about and deals with rejection (and how often she gets to practice this!)
A discussion on how to incorporate creativity in our lives as therapists
Why she wrote her children's book series Nellie in Knots (Book 1 in the series here, Book 2 here) (and how much my daughter and I LOVE this series!)
What the two types of writers are (Plotters and Pantsers) and which one Amy is
And so much more!
Join the Innovative Therapist Book Club Today!
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Download the free guide today to find out – I bet some of them will surprise you! You can grab it at DrHondorp.com/Books
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 117. In today's solo episode, I'm going to share some of my healing journey and a bit of an update about where I'm a today. This will include reflecting back on what really helped me heal from binge eating disorder and the chronic dieting cycle, as well as what continues to help me build trust with myself today as I work to build a life that's aligned, joyful, and helps me avoid feelings of regret (as much as possible, since regret is a valuable teacher!).
I'll cover how Internal Family Systems has factored into this for me over the past 2 years, and how this model really helps me understand healing on a whole other level, even before I learned it.
I've gotten a few questions lately basically asking me, "Given our culture, what's truly possible when it comes to trusting myself with eating decisions?"
I also have been reflecting on how overall I feel more self trust than I ever have in various decisions, so I'd like to walk through some of the steps that helped me get there, with examples of how I shifted my relationship to food in the past and how I'm now learning to apply it to my podcast and other aspects of my business.
Without further ado, let's dive in!
But First, Words of Wisdom
“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”
- Maya Angelou
3 Truths That Shifted Everything When It Comes to Binge Eating & Self Trust
Truly Understanding What Restriction is and How to Stop It. I've been reflecting lately on what helped me heal from binge eating disorder. For the part of me that restricted (and for those who don't know my story it wasn't extreme restriction in any way, basically I was just following advice I'd get from plans like WW), it really took around 13 years of trying before that part finally realized it's well-intentioned efforts were not working at all. Things to note: I had a lot of factors that made this healing journey easier for me, and still do to this day, most notably size privilege among many others.
Continuing Until You Get to the Root Cause. I actually didn't really do this, well not until many years later when becoming a mom pushed me to do more healing. It's so common to exchange one protective part for another. No longer restricting or binge eating, but maybe occasionally using food to cope (without guilt, but still avoiding the underlying feeling), or overworking, or finding ways to avoid triggers (e.g., sometimes people will develop parts of them that really just compartmentalize, and bring all of their emotions and shame to therapy, which is great, but they are still disconnecting from the pain outside of the one hour a week which doesn't feel great to them).
Knowing that Deeper Healing and Releasing Beliefs is Actually Possible (Even Though the World Ain't Changing Anytime Soon). This is the part that IFS really helped with for me. I think for so many of us, we just deeply believe that we will always have parts of us that hold shame and beliefs like "I'm not enough" that get triggered by various things, anything from glancing in a mirror to making a mistake in a meeting. It's important to note here, that there are many different ways to heal parts of ourselves outside of therapy too. Sometimes being in certain social groups, participating in certain group or solo activities, or other environments can heal parts of us in ways we don't even know we needed or maybe even understand at the time. For example, maybe finding a great therapist is your next step in pursing healing, but maybe it's finding an amazing local community of artists and taking up painting, or maybe finding a group that likes bird watching, or maybe it's taking an online class about writing a fiction book. I have no idea what it is, but there are many paths to healing. Listen to yourself about what you truly yearn for, and see if you can trust yourself to make the investment in yourself that feels right for you. -
Episode 116. Today’s episode was a super interesting conversation with Sharon Depcinski, LMSW. Sharon is a Certified Sex Therapist and wonderful human being (that I actually got to meet in person a few hours after our conversation at a local therapist meetup!).
Sharon reached out to me to share a newer therapy modality she was learning called TRIP, Trauma Regulation and Integration Processing which is a modality developed by Monique Hoving-Smeets.
From there, we chatted about the fact that she's a certified sex therapist and the important of this topic (which we have never discussed on the podcast yet!), and her personal and professional interest in exploring neurodivergence and how crucial this can be for people to experience true healing.
To be honest, I'm still processing all the information in this conversation and I believe it's incredibly important in many, many ways.
What to Expect in this Episode
Sharon shares her journey to doing the work she does today, which includes taking a human sexuality class at Central Michigan University but soon realizing that West Michigan wasn't quite ready for her to do sex therapy in those early years...
What is sex therapy? Why should we care about it? (and everyone should!)
What is desire differential in couples and is it normal?
Her winding path as an LMSW for 25 years, and how only in recent 1-2 years has she discovered that both she and her partner are neurodivergent
Sharon's diagnosis with ADHD at age 49 and how that's impacted her as a therapist and otherwise
Sharon's partner's diagnosis of autism, and how she felt shame that she "should have known" and why she chooses to share their story
The role of neurodivergence and Sharon's hunch about how common it is
The role of understanding perimenopause and menopause in understanding our physical and psychological symptoms
Why swearing makes Sharon a better therapist and the sign she has about swearing in her office (that I totally want now!)
Why Sharon pursued Trauma Regulation and Integration Process (TRIP) training and her experience with beginning to learn this modality
And so much more!
Seriously, y'all. If this conversation doesn't get you thinking differently about a few things, I don't know what will.
Can't wait for you to check it out!
Resources Mentioned
Trauma Regulation and Integration Process (TRIP) training: https://relationshipworx.newzenler.com/professional-home
Neurodivergent Conversations podcast: https://www.divergentpod.com/
Emily Nagoski's website
Join the Innovative Therapist Book Club Today!
Want to learn about the Top 4 books I wish I had read many years ago that have shifted my view of healing and human relationships?
Download the free guide today to find out – I bet some of them will surprise you! You can grab it at DrHondorp.com/Books
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 115. Today's episode was another "this sounds like a fun idea" that quickly came to fruition. I logged into the YouTube TV app on my phone and saw that the Oprah Special on the weight loss GLP-1 meds was being recorded.
The show was titled: An Oprah Special: Shame, Blame and the Weight Loss Revolution
I watched a little bit of it, but then decided to come back and watch the recording the next day. I quickly sent a Voxer text to Dr. Kim Daniels to ask if she was watching and if so, if she wanted to record a podcast episode about it.
Mainly, I noticed quickly in the part that I watched that very little focus was put on the potential root causes of the food noise. I thought, "this would be fun to review with Kim" and so here we are.
What to Expect in this Episode
Kim and I have a conversation about our general impressions of the TV special including some of the many things we believe they failed to address
In the episode we try to be as un-biased as possible, but we recognize we have major biases and a lot of privilege that impacts how we approach this situation
We talk about some of the aspects we wish were discussed and how we had hoped for a more balanced conversation
We talk about the concept of obesity as a disease and also the statements like "release the shame" and our thoughts on these nuanced topics
We also talk about how Internal Family Systems theory can help us understand the many strong opinions as it relates to these topics, and how an IFS approach could really be useful as we are trying to truly examine root causes
We talk a bit about the concept of food noise and early relationships with food and how they might contribute to symptoms as an adult
My hope and belief is that this conversation is not pro or anti medication, but simply an expansion on the aspects of weight loss and these controversial medications coming from two psychologists
Join the Innovative Therapist Book Club Today!
Want to learn about the Top 4 books I wish I had read many years ago that have shifted my view of healing and human relationships?
Download the free guide today to find out - I bet some of them will surprise you! You can grab it at DrHondorp.com/Books
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 114. This week's episode is special. I was on the Mastermind Parenting podcast with Randi Rubenstein, my beloved parent coach recently. And the convo was so good, that we are replaying it here.
So if you want to learn a little more about my story and how I got here, and hear me chat about it with one of the people who have been most influential in getting me here, this episode is for you!
What to Expect in this Episode
What to Expect in this episode:
Some of my training and background and what I thought I was going to do for a career
When I learned about IFS and what continues to keep me aligned and pursuing training in it
How Randi has used it and is still using it, and a discussion about our understanding of it
How our relationship is very "power with" dynamic and how parenting, and therapy can often be a "power over" model and how that can be less helpful and even harmful at times
How watching Randi coach has shifted my view of how healing happens and my role as a therapist
A story about shifting my relationship with one of my protector parts recently (I got teary sharing this one!)
And more!
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 113. This week's episode is all about my first 4 days of my Internal Family Systems Level 1 training! So if you're curious about what this IFS thing is, what the training is like, if it's worth the wait and the money, and what I'm learning, this episode is for you!
What to Expect in this episode:
My process with finding IFS and the long process of finally getting into a Level 1 training!
The roller coaster that took me and on how I felt when I got it, versus how I feel now
What the schedule of the training looked like
The overall impact for me so far
Main takeaways and lessons
An example of one of my protector parts and how a 10 minute exercise with a new therapist learning IFS shifted things dramatically for me
How you can begin to explore IFS and my recommendations after exploring it for almost 2 years
And more!
Other Mentors & Resources Mentioned
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute Online Learning Options
My very candid conversation called "What your therapist really thinks..." with Randi Rubenstein on the Mastermind Parenting podcast
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)
Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?
We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!
This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.
This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!
Sign up today to use this innovative tool!
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 112. It's official. It is here. This week's episode is all about the new podcast, The Innovative Therapist Podcast. This name and shifting of the podcast reflects my internal shifts, and who I am becoming and permission for all of us to think more creatively with regards to how we think about healing. In this episode, I will tell you what to expect in the new podcast. What will be different and what will be the same. I will also share how I am different, and some of the experiences and people that led to those shifts.
I cannot wait to share it with you!
What to Expect in this episode:
My reason for changing the name of the podcast to The Innovative Therapist Podcast
Who it is geared towards (FYI: it isn't just for therapists, but for anyone interested in thinking deeply and creatively about innovative approaches to healing)
Why I am probably not going to be recording in the same space anymore, and why
How the shifts you see in this podcast and other aspects of my business reflect internal shifts happening in me, and me learning to listen to and trust my body more and more (aka "walking the walk," if you will)
What to expect in the future (e.g., more interviews with therapists who have paved their way and began doing meaningful work outside of the traditional 1 on 1 client work, among other creative guests and solo topics), more interviews with therapists and other professionals willing to challenge the status quo and question our traditional way of doing things (e.g., like my conversation with Dr. Adia Gooden a long time ago where we talked about sharing about ourselves as psychologists and how it's so different than what we learned to do in training)
The book I'm reading right now, Decolonizing Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, and what I'm learning from it so far and how it's helping me think creatively about our role as helping professionals and some of the reasons the traditional therapy model never felt quite right to me (and how this book is adding to the learning I got from reading Decolonizing Wellness by Dalia Kinsey, Check out my conversation with Dalia Kinsey to explore this)
How and why I'll be continuing to explore evidence-based approaches as well as other "alternative" healing modalities (with less official research backing, but equally as important explore with an open mind)
What I'm thinking in terms of the motivation questions at the end, and the music for the podcast, and how I'm letting a lot of this evolve naturally (and how incredibly different that is from my prior approaches)
Things coming up in my world that I'm excited about! The Innovative Therapist Retreat Oct 7-10th in Norton Shores, Michigan, Local Outdoor Therapist Meetups in West Michigan, sign up for updates here! DrHondorp.com/Meetups, and other community building online offerings coming soon!
Other Mentors & Resources Mentioned
Natalie Miller and The Mind Witchery podcast
Randi Rubenstein and Mastermind Parenting
What is The Innovative Therapist Podcast All About?
The Innovative Therapist podcast is for you if you want honest conversations about what works and what doesn't for learning to trust our bodies and doing deeply healing work (for our clients and ourselves)
It's about having honest conversations with therapists and other professionals about their journeys and how they learned to listen to themselves and pursue work that felt deeply meaningful and energizing to them
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)
Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?
We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!
This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family System... -
Episode 111. I just loved this conversation with Natalie Deering. Natalie is the host of the podcast That Wellness Podcast which is a podcast she started in February 2023 and she's already had some incredible guests including Dr. Richards Schwartz, Dr. Frank Anderson, and many others.
We had a great conversation about many things, but Natalie really does a great job breaking down 3 different ways to connect with Parts of you, and how to do it, with some tangible next steps and resources.
I also found it fascinating the ways she's decided what to focus on in her business, so make sure you listen closely to that part.
In this episode, we cover:
Natalie's journey as a therapist, how she came to IFS, and her process with deciding to start her amazing podcast, That Wellness Podcast where she's invited guests like Dr. Richard Schwartz, Dr. Frank Anderson and many more!
What she loves most about her podcast
How she decided to have a podcast first, versus focusing on some of the other ideas she had for work outside of 1 to 1 therapy (e.g., retreats, workshops, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy)
3 different ways to connect with Parts with different types of meditation (including Natalie's free walking path meditation linked here)
How she helped shift her therapy note writing from a should to a choose to
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)
Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?
We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!
This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.
This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!
Sign up today to use this innovative tool!
Who Is Natalie Deering?
Natalie Deering is a licensed mental health provider at her private practice, ND Wellness Psychological Services in Fort Thomas KY. She specializes in working with people who have complex trauma, anxiety, and stress using internal family systems therapy (IFS).
Natalie is the host of the IFS informed wellness podcast, That Wellness Podcast with Natalie Deering: Internal Family Systems with a Twist, where she interviews amazing people within the wellness field, IFS, and everything in between.
Natalie helps clients build resilience by gaining access to their inner healing potential. She incorporates internal family systems therapy with meditation, skills building, and movement. Natalie also provides wellness workshops for businesses and their employees, guided meditations, and restorative yoga sessions.
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 110. On this week's podcast, we talk to Pooja Arora who you are going to absolutely love. (Peyton, my intern who edits the podcast says it was one of her favorite episodes ever).
Even though I feel really excited about this episode, a part of me is definitely anxious.
Why?
Because on the podcast, we talk about a variety of methods of healing that aren't all unequivocally supported by rigorous scientific research.
We talk on the episode about interventions like Emotional Freedom Technique (aka EFT Tapping), Neurolinguistic Programming, among other interventions, including my personal experience with trying some of these methods out.
Basically, there is research supporting some of the methods above, but how well it works compared to other methods, and why it works is not totally clear.
And the world I come from, the western psychological research world, tends to frown up such things... :)
Navigating the nuance
And although a part of me is worried about what you will think of me, the truth is I believe we need to have more conversations about methods outside the traditionally accepted, 100% unequivocally supported by randomized controlled trials, track.
I love science and research.
And, it has major flaws and limitations.
The truth is, that traditional methods of healing leave many of us struggling, suffering, and sometimes spending years not getting the healing results we crave.
The reality is I've always been open to other methods, even if I have many skeptical parts that come along for the ride.
And as Pooja says in today's interview, those skeptical parts are allowed. They can join.
And if you could get relief for a physical or emotional symptom that's been plaguing you for years in a few sessions, would your interest be piqued?
I know mine was.
The Power of Intuition
Pooja Arora is someone that I was introduced to through my parent coach Randi Rubenstein.
She did some work with some of the other moms in the group, indvidiually and in a group setting and people were getting great results.
Some of the results she has gotten for others are outlined in our conversation and some in her bio in this week's blog post.
When we connected, she shared that she has dealt with a lot of her own body image concerns, and overcome a lot in that area, despite really persistent shaming and bullying throughout her life.
At that point, I knew I had to have her on. She does her own work, has gotten great results for herself and others, and what I'm realizing more and more is that it's much more about the person delivering the healing modality, and your trust and belief in them, than even the method itself.
This was truly a great conversation. So without further ado, here's what you can expect in my conversation with Pooja:
How Pooja got relief from debilitating stomach pain and infection after trying all the things, in just 2 transformational sessions
Her experiences growing up in India and her experiences with persistent bullying about her body and appearance, and the ways she has overcome this
Pooja's MANY areas of specialty and 20 different certifications, including but not limited to Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Neurolinguistic Programming, Past Life Regression, Reiki, and many more
The techniques that were most helpful to her in healing trauma and body shame
What Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT) was developed for (bringing relief to Vietnam veterans)
What an EFT session could look like to help resolve body shame triggers
How psychotherapy can be synergistic with EFT
The story of how Pooja helped me to release a very difficult experience from when I was a young child, and how several months later my current reaction is very different to the same trigger
And much more!
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)
Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relati... -
Episode 109. Kate block is a gem. She's a therapeutic bodyworker, yoga teacher, and fellow science lover. She's also someone who walks the walk, meaning she listens to her body and what doesn't feel right for her, and makes uncomfortable changes when necessary.
Today you get to hear her story, and a whole bunch of wisdom, and I am confident you will enjoy it as much as I did.
I am realizing more and more that something that really lights me up is finding innovative solutions for healing for both myself and my clients. Kate is a wonderful example of that because she's helped me get better in touch with my body and the lessons I've learned through somatic practices and this conversation apply to both therapists and our clients.
Kate is intuitive, and truly has a gift for this work. Oh, and fun fact, without formally learning about Internal Family Systems (IFS) she basically does Parts with with her clients because it just made sense to her.
Cool stuff, right? You're going to love this conversation, so let's dive in!
We cover:
What is bodywork and how does it differ from massage therapy?
How Kate combines the wisdom of talk therapy and bodywork to help her clients reach the next level of peace and healing
Why she reminds people that "your body is never trying to hurt you" and what she means by that
Why the question, "What do you feel in your body?" often feels hard, and how to practice embodiment
Kate's approach to meal prep (one of my favorite answers to the integrated motivation question) and how you can use this knowledge to change a "should" to a "choose to" for something you want to do, but don't really enjoy
And much more!
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)
Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?
We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!
This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.
This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!
Sign up today to use this innovative tool!
Who is Kate Block?
Kate Block is the founder of Little Dipper — a therapeutic bodywork and private yoga practice located in the Forest Hills area of Grand Rapids (thisislittledipper.com). Her work at Little Dipper is grounded in her belief that the most transformative massage therapy, bodywork, and movement isn’t about “fixing” anything about you or your body, it's about fostering a deeper connection to your own body and heart. Kate loves helping her clients address physical and emotional issues in a way that focuses on root causes so that they feel and live better. She is deeply passionate about the human body, health + wellness, and a well-marbled, medium-rare ribeye. Her post-grad biology background informs both her work as a licensed massage therapist and the approach she takes in leading her clients and students in yoga and movement. For Kate, therapeutic bodywork is all about learning how to show up, connect, and move (both literally and metaphorically) from a place of alignment with your deepest, truest self.
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 108. Hi all! This episode was a super fun one for me. Basically, you get to sit down and hear a conversation with my dear friend Dr. Allie Richards. In this conversation, our goal was to have an honest conversation about our career trajectories as psychologists and how we've both strayed fairly far from much of the training we got in how to conduct psychotherapy, and the truth about why.
I laughed a lot in this conversation. Allie is incredibly smart, thoughtful, and honest in this conversation and I so appreciate her coming on the podcast and having this conversation with me.
If you are a therapist or professional wanting to know more about the behind the scenes thoughts of psychologists or just a human wanting to understand two psychologists who are on the path of un-learning a lot of what we've been taught, then this conversation is for you!
What to Expect in this Interview
In this episode, we have an honest conversation about:
Places we believe psychology training gets it right, and the strengths we got from our psychology, research-focused training
Where the field is missing the mark, and how it has impacted us professionally and personally
The pros and cons of diagnosis and symptom-focused treatment
How and why we both got into Internal Family Systems and more somatic-focused psychotherapy approaches
How the line that Allie heard over and over from clients "I intellectually get that I'm not a failure, but I don't feel it" influenced her personally and professionally
The ways Internal Family Systems have allowed both Allie and Shawn to truly experience self-compassion for the first time (this point is a big one)
How Internal Family Systems helps us shift the paradigm from control to freedom
How Allie learned to enjoy cleaning her car, but no longer does so with a toothbrush
And much more!
“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)
Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?
We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!
This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.
This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!
Sign up today to use this innovative tool!
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. -
Episode 107. Hey everyone!
I just did something kinda painful.
I went back to this very large google document where I've been journaling and documenting my thoughts since I started my business in Jan 2021.
In August 2021, my grandpa had just died. I was super lucky to know all 4 of my grandparents for many years, but my grandpa was the last of the 4. I was deep in grief and trying to get my work life under control. (My overworking part was QUITE active during that first year of business).
I had written:
Remember that you are in this for the long haul. It isn’t a race. You MUST prioritize your health, no one else is going to do it for you. You cannot get this time back.
I then went on to create a schedule and a plan of when I was "allowed to work." With lots of quite rules and parameters (many of which I didn't stick to).
I wish I could go back to myself at that time and teach myself what I know now.
What I Understand Now
I now understand that parts of me were fighting with each other.
There was a part of me that deeply understood I needed to slow down, that I needed to create time and space to grieve and heal from that loss. This part knew I deserved this, and wanted to protect me from burnout, further worsening health concerns, etc. It wanted to be proactive and for me to be well.
There was also my "doing" or "overworking" part that has for so many years, coped with pain and fear by focusing on what I can control, by applying myself, creating systems, and working harder. This part is super good at "working hard now, see the gains later" (which is essentially what the online marketing world promises and I hate to admit it but I got majorly sucked in). Similar to the part above, this part is also all about being proactive and helping me "be well" in the future, because I have created a business I love that also offers me time and freedom to be with my family when I want to.
The Problem Was...
The problem? I didn't see the positive intention behind the 2nd part of me (or how it was getting tricked by master marketers telling me if I "just follow these steps, I will eventually succeed!". I had so much shame about this part of me, and yet, I couldn't stop overworking. It didn't feel safe.
So I tried methods to tamp down that part, putting parameters and trying to "control it."
Spoiler alert: Control as a strategy rarely works long-term.
The reality is, both of these parts of me had great intentions for me, and both were trying to protect me.
And what was the "doing" part's most important goal? It was trying to protect me from feelings of worthlessness. Trying to help me "achieve" enough so I would feel worthy of the love of my family.
Ironic, right? Because it often takes me away from them, both physically (because I'm off working) and emotionally (because I'm in my head, strategizing my next business move).
Where I'm At Now
Anyways, all this is to say, life is feeling a whole heckuva lot better lately.
Is it perfect? Do these parts of me never get polarized and fight anymore?
Nope.
Just recently I noticed that similar polarization.
But now I have MUCH more compassion for myself, and I navigate through it all with much more ease.
And I'm actively working on those parts of me that have felt unworthy (with help), because really, that's where the magic is. :)
An honest conversation about ...
If you enjoyed this story, you will likely enjoy this week's podcast episode, which is a conversation with my wonderful intern Peyton all about my journey thus far as an entreprenuer. The ups, the downs, and what's been so helpful to me in creating more of a sense of calm and clarity than I've ever felt as I wrap up year 3.
We cover a LOT, including:
Where I was in year 1 of the business, and where I'm at now
Some of the lessons I've learned the hard way, especially about online marketing and online courses (and how this applies to weight loss and die... - Visa fler
