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I wanted to use today's episode as an opportunity to talk about some of the things I've learned about the divorce process in the past 15 years since I've become a divorce lawyer and then in the last 3 years as the founder and CEO of HelloDivorce and one of the questions, I always get especially from media platforms and journalist is what are the causes of divorce which I always find really interesting because that's not really my job.
Right?
I'm not really there to determine why someone is getting divorced but really how to help them manage the divorce process in the least painful way possible. But what I don't get asked a lot is what it is that I've learned about how people negotiate how they move through the process. What emotional triggers come up and that kind of thing.
So I thought I would use this short episode to share and I'd love to hear from you. If any of these ring true? If you've had similar experiences, if you're maybe an exception to the truth? Or any other feedback that you might have.
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"My spouse and I came to an agreement on support and property division that is based on what we think is fair – not what the law dictates. I’m concerned that because our Marital Settlement Agreement doesn’t follow the child support state guidelines and our property agreement is ‘lopsided,’ that our judge won’t approve. Will the judge still sign our divorce decree?"
If you feel like the statement above is a situation you are about to face then listen up because this podcast will help!Be in Control &Know the Process
FREE 15 minute divorce planning and strategy consult, and instant access to ALL divorce info you need.
https://hellodivorce.com/sign-up/
For additional resources visit us at www.hellodivorce.com-----
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Be in Control &Know the Process
FREE 15 minute divorce planning and strategy consult, and instant access to ALL divorce info you need.
https://hellodivorce.com/sign-up/
For additional resources visit us at www.hellodivorce.com-----
Welcome back to the Hello Divorce Podcast. And today I want to address a question that comes up quite a bit for California divorces, but as we prepare to launch into other states, the question comes up a lot more often. Which is what is a status conference? How do I prepare for one? And do I need to go even if my spouse and I already have a complete agreement on our divorce-related issues or we're working with a mediator in an effort to come to an agreement? So this is a really good question. And unfortunately, there's just not a lot of resources out there. A lot of the DIY type services or even lawyers will say, "Yeah, great. If you have an agreement, let's put it in writing. Let's do our best to avoid court." But what we don't talk about is sometimes depending on the state that you live, a status conference or a case management conference or something of the like is set automatically.So that means that you filed the initial paperwork to get your divorce started and some states, and that actually even breaks down further than that. Because some counties, will automatically set a status conference or something of the like in your case, right from the beginning. So oftentimes what I tell people is if you really want to avoid that status conference, that court appearance, then maybe the best thing for you to do is to submit all your paperwork at once. So usually in most states, there are several steps that you have to take to get divorced. They include a petition or response or some sort of first paperwork. There's also usually financial disclosures. And then finally there's a judgment or a divorce decree or an affidavit or something that ends your divorce.
And in some cases you might want to try to submit all of those documents at once, if you really aim to avoid having to go to a court hearing. But I will say that in states that have waiting periods. So as an example, Colorado has 90 days, California has 6 months. These waiting periods usually begin after you have served your spouse with that initial paperwork that's been filed with the court. So if you want to get that waiting period going, then you might not want to wait to finish all of your paperwork before you submit it to the court. You might want to get started on that step one, so we can get that waiting period going. Additionally, even if you send in all your paperwork at once, it doesn't necessarily mean that you get to avoid a status conference, which is pretty ridiculous. I mean, talk about big brother. You have the courts saying to you, "Well, sure you have a full agreement or you're working on a full agreement, but we still want to check in with you."
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Hi guys. I wanted to tell you about today's topic which is, Should I Hire a Divorce Lawyer? And I think in the past, that was kind of a no brainer. If you had the money, you hire a lawyer. Divorce is the dissolving of one of the most complex contracts we will ever enter into; the marital contract. And so we want to be as informed as possible, and we want to negotiate and make decisions that are in our best interest and the best interest of our kids. That being said, we're balancing a lot of things. We don't necessarily want to lawyer up in the traditional sense if we think that it's going to spark a war, or it's going to lead to distrust, and then maybe our spouse will do something that's irrational or against our interests. So, while we want to be informed and we want to know our legal rights, we also want to balance keeping our kids' health and safety in check, and keeping to the extent possible, the peace between our spouse. Because one thing we do know is not only is litigation expensive, but it doesn't always yield the best results and it certainly doesn't yield the most practical results.
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For additional resources visit us at www.hellodivorce.com
It's great to be back on my podcast, I took a couple of weeks off. Things have been a little bit crazy around my house and I suspect the same for you - but I wanted to change the topic up a little bit today to discuss, “so you're getting a divorce during a global pandemic…” What we've talked about so far, either in the podcast or our blogs or our press outreach is how to navigate divorce if you're in it right now or you started just before the pandemic.
We also discussed co-parenting during a global pandemic. What I focused early on when we first sheltered in place were some of the crises that were coming up; whether you should do a child custody exchange, how do you manage a co-parent who is not taking shelter in place seriously or not following the CDC guidelines on being safe and trying not to get infected with the Coronavirus.
That crisis, at least for the moment, for a lot of people, has been resolved either through communication with each other or an emergency order with the court or, in some cases, appointing a special master or parenting coordinator to help people navigate these uncertain times. What we haven't discussed is just how many people are coming to us, and not just us but the rest of the world, and announcing that they now want a divorce.
I just wanted to explore this a little bit and I'm hoping that this becomes a conversation that we ultimately have across social media or on our website. I think it's important to bring up the fact that I, first of all, taking off my lawyer and founder hat for a moment, have just heard from so many friends and people that I know and love that divorce is imminent, that they have decided that they now want a divorce.
Then, of course, on Hello Divorce, we've had far more leads than we ordinarily have. I'm not saying this or sharing that because I'm arrogant or I want to show off or anything like that, we haven't really changed much in terms of our marketing strategy, our advertising strategy, but what has changed is the number of leads, and so that's really telling.
One thing we learned from China, after they lifted the quarantine lockdown terms, is that the divorce rate there went up substantially. It skyrocketed. One of the first things that some people did when they were allowed to leave their home was file for divorce. I expect that we will see a pretty big increase in divorce here as well. I don't know that it will be as high as it is in China because we have different economic considerations here.
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(Live Webinar Replay) Navigating Your Divorce Through Coronavirus with special guest Mark Flowers from CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™
Description
Coronavirus / COVID-19 is upending all of our lives. It will impact your divorce as well, if it hasn’t already.
Join Hello Divorce Founder and CEO Erin Levine and Mark Flowers, CFP, CDFA and host of Second Saturday San Mateo, for a frank and interactive conversation on the ways you can still keep your divorce on track during these uncertain times.
We’ll discuss:
- Moving forward with your divorce paperwork, even with temporary court closures;
- Legal perspectives on co-parenting through school closures and shelter in place directives;
- Understanding options for adjusting child/spousal support payments if your job is at risk;
- The financial and legal reasons that now is is actually not the time to delay your divorce;
ABOUT THE HOSTS:
Erin Levine is a certified family law attorney who is reimagining how divorce is handled by using technology to make the process more efficient. She is the founder of Hello Divorce (www.hellodivorce.com) an incredibly powerful DIY divorce navigation tool that gives users the information and resources they need to divorce on their terms, with on-demand access to high-quality help at a flat-rate fee.
Mark Flowers is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, an the leader of Second Saturday Divorce workshops in San Mateo County. Currently, with Private Portfolios, Mark has been in financial services in various roles including real estate finance, insurance planning, and wealth management for the past 15 years.
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Hi, everyone. Today's topic is one that we've been getting so many requests for so I thought it was important to jump on with a bonus episode and talk about coronavirus and how it's impacting divorce, co-parenting, and child custody issues. I've got a ton of great information for you today and answers. Well, I mean with things changing so much, maybe it's not answers, but definitely some problem solving skills and some solutions that I hope will help you get through this time period.
It is March 18th at 1:00 PM Pacific time and I'm saying the date and time because things are changing so rapidly, I want you to be aware of it. I am recording from my bedroom because we are in Alameda, California and there is a shelter in place order. So I have told my kids that we are practicing “social distancing” which requires them to stay downstairs for the next 30 minutes so hopefully that will work. ;-)
I also have an incredible guest today. The one person that I absolutely wanted to have on the show and fortunately she's willing to record not just one podcast - but two. We actually recorded one a couple of days ago and unfortunately Zoom hasn't processed that recording so we are trying again. Anyhow, her name is Billie Tarascio and she is not only an award winning lawyer and author and sought after speaker, but she is the owner of three successful businesses.
You guys, she brings the Arizona perspective. I'm in California. We hope that everything we have to say will be relevant nationally, maybe even internationally to some people, but if you're looking for Arizona help or information, she is your go to person. Her firm is Modern Law. It's a family law firm that's servicing most, if not all of Arizona. She'll let us know.
She's also the cofounder of Modern Law Practice, which helps law firms scale, grow, reduce overhead, provide kick ass service to their clients and make more money. It's just a win-win solution for law firms to help their clients and to grow their practices.
And then finally her third business is I Do Over, which is a company that's very similar to Hello Divorce. They provide DIY services, courses, help from legal assistants, videos, access to amazing lawyers. It's a great resource. So I am thrilled to have her with me here today.
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Why You Should Stop Delaying Your Divorce and Get on With It Already
Hi everyone, this is Erin and today's topic is, “Why You Should Stop Delaying Your Divorce and Get on With It Already.” If I sound a little off it's because I have a cold and so I'm hoping that I will still speak clearly enough that you can understand what I'm saying and not be too annoyed by my nasally voice. I literally never get a cold, so this has been beyond annoying and I'm really having a hard time accepting the fact that I actually have one, but I do and so there it is, let's get on with our topic. So I bring up this topic because the last, let's see, maybe eight or nine calls we've got on Hello Divorce, have been from really nice folks who tell me that they'd been separated from their spouse for a really long time. They know divorce is inevitable, but they liken it to going to the dentist or other things that you might want to put off. Because let's face it, divorce is not that fun and there's so many excuses, many of which seem really fair in the moment, right?
Like, my kids are too busy, divorce will cost too much, everything's going smooth right now, I don't want us to start fighting. Will this mess up the kids? The divorce process will take forever won't it? Will I have to go to court? Will I have to hire a lawyer? And so on and so on. And while these are all really valid questions, I do want you to understand that in many cases it actually makes sense for you to move through your divorce now, for financial reasons and legal reasons, but emotionally too. You know if you look back on your life, emotional baggage gets really heavy and the stress of staying in a marriage that isn't working or not getting divorced, but knowing that you need to, it does take a toll on your mental and physical health. I've read so much research, especially from John Gottman about how couples that are enduring marital stress are more likely to experience psychiatric disorders, like depression and even increase the risk of heart problems.
So financial and legal issues aside, I don't want you to discount the fact that not getting a divorce, but knowing that you need to, can really weigh heavily on you, transition is hard. And so if for that reason alone, I just want you to think about it and now I'll move on to the more obvious stuff like the legal and financial stuff...
If you have any questions please reach out to us at hellodivorce.com
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Today's topic is, how and where to find the exact legal help that you need for your divorce. Whether you are thinking about divorce, about to embark on one or maybe you're already in your divorce, but you aren't happy with the strategy that's been employed. This is the episode to listen to if you want to figure out how to best get legal help without going further into debt and with having the best results possible.
Now I expect that this will be a series over time because I can't possibly go over every type of legal help there is. So as an example - today, we won't be talking too much about mediation. But remember, mediation is a method by which you can resolve disputes. It is not legal advice and it is not legal coaching. So even if you choose that route, you're going to want to seek outside legal help. And that is the topic of today's episode.
So the first thing that I usually tell people is that you want to figure out what your goals are. And while those goals might change a little bit over time, what I've seen over the last 15 years is that they generally stay very close to what you initially determined. So maybe your goal is to get out of your marriage as quickly as possible. You're willing to waive some of the things that maybe you would be entitled to in exchange for having a peaceful divorce. Maybe your goal is to get exactly what it is you are entitled to by whatever means necessary. Or maybe it's a little bit of both. You're willing to make some compromises, however, you have needs. Those needs are must haves and you also have some wants and those wants would be nice to have. So you're willing to give up on some of the wants in exchange for others so long as your main needs are met.
And for me it's really easy to talk about that because that is generally what people tell they want in our Hello Divorce calls, or even Levine Family Law Group for that matter. Often times what they tell me is, "I want to know what my legal rights are. I want to understand what likely would happen if I were to go to court and then from there I'd like to either negotiate on my own with my spouse or I'd like to hire a lawyer who can do that for me."
If your decision is the latter, meaning you would like a lawyer to negotiate on your behalf, then what I want you to do is really seek out lawyers who are focused on, not only educating consumers, but on problem-solving and finding new and innovative ways to help you through your divorce. When I was just getting started 15 years ago as a young lawyer, I had a boss who I idolized. He was a good man, but what he told me was, as I think now, completely wrong. He said, "Consumers want finality by whatever means necessary. That's how you move on. That's how you get closure. So that means we take everything to court, get a judge to make a ruling. Whatever that ruling is, the client can then take it and move on."
Please check us at www.hellodivorce.com
Get also get our free ebook "Five Essentials to Win at Divorce" at http://www.hellodivorceguide.com/
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Our Valentine's gift to you, a brand new ebook, Five Essentials To Win At Divorce.
Ebook >> http://bit.ly/31h14ot
Welcome to the Hello Divorce podcast, I’m your host, Erin Levine. I’m super excited to share with you my top insider tips for divorce - including actionable steps in bite-sized pieces to lowering the cost, conflict, and confusion surrounding your divorce so that you can move on to that next awesome chapter.
Hi. Today's topic has to do with a gift I have for you - a new ebook that we are offering at no cost. As most of you know, through Hello Divorce, we have so much content – all curated – some written and designed by me and my team at HD and Levine Family Law Group – and then we also pull in the experts to contribute. Experts in everything from financial planning to negotiation and life coaching b/c after all – lawyers are just one piece of a big divorce puzzle. The one thing that I felt we were missing was a comprehensive ebook. I hesitated to design one because I wanted it to be really meaningful – and do what I wanted it to do – which is to give you the tools you need to get your divorce off to the best start possible. More on that in a second.
Then the other day, I was speaking to a colleague about her divorce. She wanted a second opinion which I always think is a good idea but at the same time – we have to be so careful because when speaking to someone about their case – you are only getting a very small snippet of the divorce – and hearing it from the client’s experience. Anyhow, she started to tell me about her divorce and man, it was ugly - throughout each step of the way, it was just hurting my heart so much to realize that had we been her guide from the beginning – things could have been so different. I mean, we likely wouldn’t have been able to change what her ex did – how he behaved or the choices he made – but we could have helped shape her experience – and as you know, mindset – well, that’s everything. Life can be spinning out of control and if you trust your path and have the resources and support you need, you can turn that obstacle – that saga – that struggle into a breakthrough. There’s an opportunity in there to change your course and we want to find that – and put our focus there, not on the actions or (in)actions of your ex. I know – it might feel like I’m simplifying things or that I’m overly optimistic or what’s the word you’re thinking of? Maybe “shut the f- up and get with reality.” Ok, I know. I am oversimplifying. When you are in a traumatic divorce or breakup that breakthrough doesn’t just show up and say ‘hi, everything is going to be ok now. You are stronger than ever and you’re life is going to be sunshine and rainbows.” But, I’m not talking about a particular moment in time. There are times in a heated, contested divorce that all you can find time and energy to do is prepare your strategy – where you have exposure and where you have leverage – and live in that. But overall, if you have the information and understanding you need about the divorce process – about where things are heading and how to get there – you will feel some peace of mind. You will make space to rise from this crappy experience. And you will feel in control – which let’s face it, feeling out of control is the worst feeling ever – feeling like you don't know what's going on and you don't know how to change it or respond to it, is just awful.
Please go to hellodivorce.com to read the rest of our show notes.
Also, let this be our Valentine's gift to you, your brand new ebook, Five Essentials To Win At Divorce.
Ebook >> http://bit.ly/31h14ot -
Today's topic is child custody. Most separating parents prioritize two things — getting your kids through divorce with the least amount of emotional damage and disruption to their lives. If you identify with this statement, then you're going to want to listen to this short, but meaningful podcast on how to develop a thoughtful and sustainable parenting plan - that gets you and your kids - exactly where you need to go. Regardless of where you are in the divorce proceedings and whether or not your case is headed to court - I expect you’ll find value in this episode. So keep listening to learn some actionable tips for maximizing your co-parenting strategy!
If you're thinking about separating from your spouse, if you're concerned that your spouse is going to ask for a divorce, if you're already embroiled in litigation or are about to start mediation, or even if you're just negotiating a parenting plan with your ex outside of the court context, you have a lot to think about. It’s difficult to know what to focus on so that’s why I’m here. To give it to you straight.
First things first - While a lawyer can share their experience of how to interpret the law or what the likely outcome is if you were to litigate (aka go to court), one thing you don’t hear too often is that there’s actually a tremendous amount of flexibility when it comes to parenting plans.
The one thing lawyers aren’t usually too concerned with is the details. I’m guilty too. We are so busy focusing on financials and the actual physical custody orders meaning - where your kids will live and on what schedule - we often overlook the specifics. It’s going to be up to you to ask for what you need and if you don’t - you could run into issues.
So why am I recommending such specific details in your custody orders. Well first of all - let me back up - what do I mean by “orders.” Orders are the terms of your divorce - like your parenting schedule - that are ultimately reduced to paper and signed off by the judge - usually called a divorce judgment or decree. The terms are either negotiated or litigated. If they are negotiated b/n you and your ex - they are an agreement that become an order. If you have to go to court - that is litigation and ultimately it’s the judge that makes the terms that get filed and become an order.
Back to why I want you to have a detailed parenting agreement - If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are really great at negotiating and respect each other as parents and people - you likely are a great co-parenting team, and perhaps a flexible parenting plan will work out just fine for you. But, if you have a strained relationship or you had some major communication issues in marriage, and let me tell you, if you had communication issues in marriage, they're going to be ever-present in your divorce. If that's the case, you're going to want to think through a parenting plan and strategy to help you obtain orders that cover all of your basis. Here’s why:
...Read the rest of the transcripts at hellodivorce.com -
Welcome to the Hello Divorce Podcast. I'm your host, Erin Levine. I'm super excited to share with you my top insider tips for divorce, including actionable steps in bite-sized pieces to lowering the cost, conflict, and confusion surrounding your divorce so that you can confidently move on to that next awesome chapter. Today's topic, special considerations for gay and lesbian divorces. In 2016, the US Supreme Court affirmed marriage equality across the US. While same-sex couples can now finally get a license to marry, we spent so much time and energy advocating for gay and lesbian marriage that considerations around divorce took a backseat. If you are divorcing in California, and some other states for that matter, I want you to go through a few considerations that your lawyer or your Google search may not have thought up. In California, we don't recognize common law marriage. That means that if you and your partner live together in a relationship for 20 years but only recently married, the family law system recognizes your marriage as short term, with different property and support rights and responsibilities afforded to marriages of long duration.
There is an exception if you have a civil union, or a domestic partnership, or the equivalent, but I'm not talking that domestic partnership that many of us registered for a nurse city so that we could get something like a family gym membership. I'm talking about a state-sanctioned and registered domestic partnership. But what do you do if you find yourself getting divorced after let's say a 20-year relationship when you've only been married for a short time? Well, if you're the spouse who earned less or accumulated less property, and I want you to think not just real property but retirement benefits and financial accounts, then you are going to want to try and do what you can to negotiate outside of the legal system. Going to court won't help your plight. You also want to consider speaking with a lawyer about whether or not you have a property or support a legal claim for the period of time in which you were together but not married. But fair warning, in most states it's rare unless you had a cohabitation agreement or something of the like.
There is an exception if you have a civil union, or a domestic partnership, or the equivalent, but I'm not talking that domestic partnership that many of us registered for a nurse city so that we could get something like a family gym membership. I'm talking about a state-sanctioned and registered domestic partnership. But what do you do if you find yourself getting divorced after let's say a 20-year relationship when you've only been married for a short time? Well, if you're the spouse who earned less or accumulated less property, and I want you to think not just real property but retirement benefits and financial accounts, then you are going to want to try and do what you can to negotiate outside of the legal system. Going to court won't help your plight. You also want to consider speaking with a lawyer about whether or not you have a property or support a legal claim for the period of time in which you were together but not married. But fair warning, in most states it's rare unless you had a cohabitation agreement or something of the like.
Schedule a 15-minute strategy session from Hello Divorce's homepage or a legal coaching session to learn to learn more. Keep listening to this podcast for actionable tips to keep your divorce amicable and affordable, and of course to cover all your legal bases so you are ready for your fresh start.
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So today's topic is why you need a strategy for your divorce and how to develop one. We view divorce as an event, as if one day you announce, "I'm getting a divorce," and the next day your marriage is over. The truth is, and many of you have heard me say it before, it's a journey. It's a process. It's a method by which you transition out of your marriage and reprioritize your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself.
In my 15 years of guiding people out of relationships, I've become really aware of the paradox of divorce. At a time when so much is at stake and you need to be on your game, you're likely struggling with hundreds of different emotions that are distracting you from the real and practical considerations that may have profound consequences for your future. So what I'd like to do today is give you the steps you need to get your divorce strategy on point.
One caveat, your strategy may and likely will change throughout your divorce, and that's okay. One of the big reasons why you're developing a strategy now is so that you feel more comfortable living in transition and facing the unknown. Let's get you started on the right foot.
Okay, step number one: Establish ground rules. Many separating couples choose to meet with each other or a third party to see if they can establish some ground rules for how they'll navigate their breakup and transition into divorced life. If you can make this happen, do it. Work together to answer questions like when, how, and where will we discuss divorce-related topics. Is our endgame to get to an agreement that we both can live with? What types of professionals will we hire to see us through? How and when will we tell the kids?
Separating couples who start with these basics before moving on to more complicated stuff often fare much better. And if the answer is your ex won't even sit with you in the same room to discuss these things, well, that will give you some information that you need, too, right? It will mean that you might need a lot more support and strategy - likely a lawyer who is experienced and successful at negotiating and litigating complex cases. Perhaps even a divorce coach too - a trained life coach who can help you navigate some of the challenges that come up in a prolonged divorce. Remember though - some divorces start out nasty and get much better along the way - as spouse's have time to process the breakup and get focused on making their next chapter better.
Step number two for your strategy: learn the basics. We can usually imagine, at least a little bit - what life will look like after divorce. But that transitionary period, the step between marriage and divorce, is what causes a lot of us anxiety. Many of our fears around divorce involve not knowing what to expect. So if you live in California, head over to hellodivorce.com, where you can learn what the process will look like. It's not always a linear path, sorry to say, but you'll get an idea of what you'll have to deal with at each stage of the game. You'll also find information, tools, worksheets and curated resources on your legal rights and responsibilities, self-care, financial guidance, co-parenting, and so much more.
Don't want to limit yourself to lawyers to get the information you need. Many lawyers view law in a vacuum, and that's not going to best serve your complex life. Get answers from reliable sources. You may even choose to head over to https://divorceify.com/ for vetted resources and people to help you through divorce. Just remember, by getting educated, as you already know, you are giving yourself knowledge, and knowledge is power and makes us feel more in control about the process...
To read more please check out the full blog at hellodivorce.com
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Today's topic is how to get your divorce unstuck. So you feel totally stuck. All you want is closure and yet your divorce is lingering on and on. You've tried everything. You've tried nothing. You don't have any clue what to do next. You have a list so long you don't know where to start. Relate to any of these.
Okay, so first things first. Are you really stuck? To know me is to know that it drives me crazy that everywhere we look, divorce is seen as an event. The truth is, it really is a process. It takes time, both emotionally and legally. In fact, if it's been a couple months since anything legal has moved forward with your case, you might actually be right on time. In most states, there's a waiting period between when you start the divorce and when it can be finalized. So moving quicker doesn't necessarily mean you'll finalize your divorce any faster.
Now I will say that many of our users and clients at Hello Divorce have really amicable divorces and so they finish the paperwork very quickly, turn it in, and put it behind them and then just wait for that six month waiting period to go by. But if you have any serious issues or issues that need to be resolved or if you've had complete and separate finances that need to be exchanged and documented, then it's probably going to take awhile. But if your divorce is truly stuck and you're not making any progress, here are some tips to make it move forward.
People is the most complex financial contract you will ever dissolve. Don't go at it alone and don't make decisions without seeing the goods. If your spouse has a retirement account, for example, don't just rely on him or her to tell you the amount or where it exists. You need to get the documents to see what it is that both of you have so that you can decide how you want to divide the stuff.
The next thing you can do is set a timeline. If possible, by email or in person, get on the same page with your ex about a realistic timeline for the major events related to your divorce. Chances are, not always, your spouse wants to progress too, but either is paralyzed by fear or maybe you've just always been the doer and so we can't expect that your spouse is now all of a sudden going to change personality traits.
Can you at least agree on dates for an exchange of proposals or offers or you can you agree that if you don't come to a resolution by a certain date that you'll get help from a mediator? At this time, you can also work on choosing a mediator, so if that happens where you can't come to agreements on all issues, you're ready to go.
Now, if you're really stuck, you've reached an impasse, your spouse won't go to mediation, won't work with a service like Hello Divorce or a neutral lawyer, you can request that the court help you sort out issues that keep you from moving toward a resolution. Now it's going to move slower because courts are very bogged down and you're going to have to go through what is pretty much an inefficient process. But the court can help you reach resolution. So if you're stuck and you really need some help, I suggest getting some legal coaching, spending a half hour or an hour with the lawyer to figure out what you can do to get help from the court...
If you need more advice please check us out at hellodivorce.com
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For today's topic we're going to talk about how you can calm your divorce overwhelmed. So, virtually everyone who either decides to get a divorce or their spouse throws it on them has that moment of panic when they realize that they don't understand the legal system. They don't know how they are going to go about their divorce, and they want their legal bases covered. If they have children, they want to make sure they're protected, but really just feel paralyzed in fear. So, this podcast episode is really for the people that are just starting the process and need a little extra support along the way. I always tell people when you are trying to figure out where to start, start with you. Reach out to your support system or even build a new one. It could be as simple as joining a Facebook group for divorcing people or an online support group through DivorceForce or Meetup.
When you're determining how to do divorce, I have a few tips for you. So, first of all, you're going to want to take the process step-by-step. You're going to need to learn to get comfortable in transition, because the process is a marathon, not a sprint. Unless there's an emergency, virtually nothing happens overnight. It takes a while to get through your divorce, even if it's uncontested, and so I want you to take it step-by-step. I also want you to take a deep breath and know that you have time to wrap your head around this and get through it in the best way possible.
The next thing that I usually tell people who are feeling overwhelmed is to educate yourself about the divorce process and how it works in your state. If you're in California, head over to Hello Divorce. You can take a look or download our California divorce flow chart. It breaks down divorce start to finish. Also, check the Hello Divorce site regularly if you live in Texas or Arizona, where we're going to be launching quite soon. Then I want you to consider your options. There's so many ways to work through the process. At Hello Divorce, you can use our divorce navigator. Erin Levine:
It's kind of like a TurboTax for a divorce, where you work through all the forms step-by-step on your own.
We also have do it for you options and we have legal coaches on standby, so if you don't want to lawyer up in the traditional sense of the word, where you pay a big retainer and potentially freak your spouse out, then using a illegal coach, either through Hello Divorce with our Levine family law group lawyers or someone in your locale, can be a really great option if your case is mildly contested, uncontested, or you're working with a mediator. Another great option if you and your spouse expect to have some conflict, but really are determined to work things out on your own, is to use a mediator. A third party, neutral mediator is going to help you with all the issues that might come up in your divorce, kids, support, property and debt division and help you come to a full agreement on all those issues.A couple of other things that seem to come up for our clients in terms of their overwhelm is whether or not you'll have to go to court, and my legal answer is it depends. Some States require you to go to court to actually formalize and finalize your divorce, but in those cases, assuming you have a full agreement, it's really more of a formality, and it's kind of a pain, in that you have to schedule it, show up for court, wait to be called, and have the judge ask you a bunch of questions, but fortunately it's not a contentious hearing....
Find out more infomation and schedule your free 15 min phone call at hellodivorce.com
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Welcome to the Hello Divorce podcast. I'm your host, Erin Levine. I'm super excited to share with you my top insider tips for divorce, including actionable steps in bite-size pieces to lowering the cost, conflict, and confusion surrounding your divorce so that you can move on to that next awesome chapter with peace of mind and your financial and emotional wellness in check.
Today's topic is, what do you do if you find out your partner was cheating on you in the middle of the divorce process? How can that help you, or does it even help you, with your divorce outcome?
This happens more often than you think. We've had many clients come to us who have said that they and their spouses have worked really, really hard to keep that marriage together, sometimes for months or even years, and ultimately one or both of them decided that it's just not the right fit and it's time for a divorce. Those divorces tend to be a lot more amicable. However, sometimes during the divorce, we find out later that one of the spouse has cheated. This happens across the board in gay marriages, in heterosexual marriages with both men and women.Erin Levine:
In a recent case we had, our client found out that her spouse was cheating after reviewing many of the bank statements linked to her husband's account during the divorce process. She found a whole bunch of charges that had nothing to do with her or the kids or her husband. There were charges to Victoria's Secret. There were super expensive, pricey dinners, price charges to other women's clothing stores. There was even a trip to Hawaii during the marriage that my client and her kids knew nothing about that was during a time that her husband was supposed to be on a business trip.
So, finding this out was a terrible revelation. My client was really upset. She was angry. She was sad. She had a million different emotions. And the first thing we had her do was pause the divorce, because it's never helpful when you're feeling that emotional to try and negotiate or litigate your divorce. It's just impossible to be clear about your position when you're feeling that level of emotion. So that's the first thing we did.
The second is that our client really wanted to use this information to find out how it could her in divorce. The first lesson we had to tell her, which was not her favorite thing to hear, was that in a no-fault divorce state, finding out that your spouse had an extramarital affair is not going to help your case in a really big way. In other words, it's not going to be something where you get handed $10,000 or $100,000 for your spouse's bad behavior. However, there are ways in which finding out that your spouse cheated on you during the marriage can help you.
As an example, in this case, we looked back to the bank statements and found out where community, or joint earnings, had gone to benefit this third party, the woman that her husband had been cheating with. We were able to recover those funds because half of her spouse's earnings during the marriage are joint. They're community. So to the extent that they were used for a non-community purpose for the benefit of this third party, we were able to recoup that money and give half of it to our client.......
Are break ups tough? No doubt. Can they be fair and equitable? We think so. That’s why we started Hello Divorce. To take the drama out of divorce.
Need help with your divorce? schedule a 15 min consultation with us at here
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Welcome to the Hello Divorce Podcast. I'm your host, Erin Levine. I'm super excited to share with you my top insider tips for divorce, including actionable steps in bite size pieces to lowering the cost, conflict, and confusion surrounding your divorce, so that you can move on to that next awesome chapter with peace of mind and your financial and emotional wellness in check. But before we get there, I'm going to share a bit about me, because after all, you have to trust that the person you are learning from actually has the knowhow to get you where you need to go.
I am the CEO and founder of the online divorce platform, Hello Divorce, and San Francisco Bay area boutique law firm, Levine Family Law Group. I have practiced family law exclusively for the past 15 years and am a certified family law specialist. My work in the industry has caught the attention of the legal industry, as well as the larger media, with features in such publications and platforms as Brit + Co, Forbes, OZY, mindbodygreen, Above The Law, and Entrepreneur. I have been voted Super Lawyer for the past six years, and in 2019, the American Bar Association named me to the prestigious list, Women In Legal Technology.
My goal, and that of our team at Hello Divorce and Levine Family Law Group, is to get you through your divorce as quickly and efficiently as possible. Our process, expertise, focus on wellness, and collaborative techniques keep the vast majority of divorces low conflict. In fact, 92% of Hello Divorce cases never saw the inside of the courtroom. However, I understand that not every divorce is a conscious uncoupling. I have litigated hundreds of cases over the years, and if litigation is a necessity to secure your rights and/or protect your children, we always conduct a cost benefit analysis to determine if you're comfortable with the risk associated with putting your livelihood in front of a judge.If you ask my work family or personal family about me, they'd probably also tell you I'm a survivor, warrior, impact design thinker, systems guru, optimism officer, client success champ, content creator, VP of miscellaneous stuff, chief tech crisis averter, finance miracle worker, product designer, and of course mommy to Zoe and Mia. Keep listening to this podcast for actionable tips to keep your divorce amicable and affordable and of course to cover all of your legal bases, so you are ready for your fresh start.
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Are break ups tough? No doubt. Can they be fair and equitable? We think so. That’s why we started Hello Divorce. To take the drama out of divorce.
Need help with your divorce? schedule a 15 min consultation with us at here
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Welcome to the Hello Divorce podcast. I'm your host, Erin Levine. I'm super excited to share with you my top insider tips for divorce, including actionable steps in bite-sized pieces to lowering the cost, conflict, and confusion surrounding your divorce, so that you can move on to that next awesome chapter with peace of mind and your financial and emotional integrity in check.
But before we get there, I want to share with you the Hello Divorce origin story, why I pivoted away from my million dollar law firm to create an online divorce platform.
Hello Divorce was really born out of my desire to meet client needs and wants, and to create a new way to divorce. One that wasn't predicated on the archaic, inefficient, conflict producing legal system. I had my own experience with law when I was a teen, and it was victimizing, disempowering, confusing, and triggering. I felt like the victim when I definitely was not. I received justice in the traditional sense of the word, but it just never felt like enough, and it left me with a hole. I never wanted my clients to experience that again. So I always knew that my mission would take me somewhere different. Creating a legal services delivery model that turned the legal system on its head.
When I started researching what consumers wanted, I learned that the average cost of divorce is between $18,000 and $27,000 per person, depending on where you live and if you have kids. I also learned that 85% of people don't have access to meaningful legal help. That means that, despite the fact that this is the most profound breakup of our lives, we are dissolving the most complicated financial contract most of us will ever enter into, the marital contract, alone. But the thing is, most of divorce isn't brain surgery. It's procedural, it's paperwork.
And for that piece, we at Hello Divorce have leveraged technology to make it so much easier. So lawyers aren't preparing the procedural stuff at, say, $400 an hour. Now, the second part of divorce is substantive. It's how you're going to resolve all the big issues. Spousal support, child support, attorney or mediator fees, property division, debt division, and child custody. We noticed at Levine Family Law Group that for some cases, the mere act of lawyering up was causing some divorces to take an ugly turn. Their spouses would log on to the website of their attorney and see where it's aggressive, zealous advocate, and that scared the crap out of people. So we changed our tune over at Levine Family Law Group, focusing on conflict resolution and getting where you need to go, without increasing conflict where there doesn't need to be.
At Hello Divorce, we took it one step further. You don't actually have to have a lawyer to get the best legal help around. You can choose from one of our do it yourself or do it for your options for the procedural stuff, and pay as you go for the legal stuff. Meaning if you need some extra help along the way, sorting out conflict or understanding the law, or maybe even reviewing your final paperwork or getting tips for negotiation, you can pay as you go, accessing legal help directly from our website in increments as small as 30 minutes...
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Are break ups tough? No doubt. Can they be fair and equitable? We think so. That’s why we started Hello Divorce. To take the drama out of divorce.
Need help with your divorce? schedule a 15 min consultation with us at here
