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My guest is Caitlin V, a sexologist and relationship coach who started out as a sexual health researcher and policy analyst before realizing that real change doesn't happen in research papers. It happens in honest conversations between real people. She's the host of Good Sex on HBO Max, her YouTube channel has reached hundreds of millions of people, and she's become one of the leading voices in men's sexual health, helping guys overcome erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and the isolation that comes with those struggles.
This conversation went places I didn't expect. Caitlin explains why the biggest roadblock in a couple's sex life isn't your partner, it's the gap between your expectations and reality. She breaks down why "why can't we have more sex" is almost never about sex, what women are actually attracted to in a man (the Indiana University smell study blew my mind), and why the way you do anything is the way you do everything. I also got personal about my own marriage, including why I quit porn years ago and the one question I asked my wife in our mudroom three months ago that changed how we think about intimacy.
If you and your wife have slipped into roommate mode, if the conversation about sex feels impossible to start, or if you want to rebuild attraction and connection after years of kids, schedules, and busyness, this episode is your roadmap back.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens with an adult content disclaimer and celebrates episode 1500 landing on his 51st birthday after 11 years
[3:00] The single biggest roadblock in couples' sex lives, the painful gap between expectations and lived experience
[5:16] The performance expectations men carry into the bedroom, from lasting longer to frequency to technical skill
[10:11] Caitlin's first piece of advice for every man, start with your own relationship to sexuality before approaching your wife
[11:37] Why "why can't we have more sex" is really a request for closeness, connection, and feeling loved
[16:33] Caitlin's story, from sexual health researcher to sexologist and host of Good Sex on HBO Max
[20:13] Fact checking the viral claim that 50% of couples married three plus years haven't had sex in a year
[21:55] Why Gen Z is having less sex, porn access, dating app algorithms designed to keep you single, and Covid
[28:49] The Indiana University t-shirt study, why smell predicts attraction and how birth control changes desire
[36:37] What women actually find attractive in a man's body, hands, forearms, posture, and capability over six packs
[44:40] Why your solo sex life shapes your marriage, and Caitlin's snack versus whole meal analogy
[49:49] Larry opens up about quitting porn years ago and how it fixed his arousal issues and transformed intimacy
[53:37] Retraining your body without porn, why orgasm may take weeks to return, and why nobody fails to get there
[57:00] Escaping roommate syndrome, why sex was never actually spontaneous, and reclaiming the effort of courtship
[59:35] The intimacy spectrum beyond penetration, and Caitlin's personal story of healing pain through yoni massage
[1:06:09] The mudroom moment, how one question changed the way Larry and his wife connect after 23 years of marriage
Five Key Takeaways
The biggest obstacle in your sex life isn't your wife. It's the unspoken gap between what you expected sex to be and what it actually is, and the shame that keeps both of you from talking about it.
Never bring the conversation to her when it's burning hot. Do your own untangling first, figure out what you actually need underneath the request, and come with self-awareness and accountability instead of a demand.
How you care for your body is a proxy for how you care for everything. Your grooming, your hygiene, and your posture tell her more about who you are than a six pack ever will.
Don't show up to your wife starving. If she's the only source of meeting your needs, every approach carries desperation. Take care of yourself first and you'll come to her with something to give instead of something to take.
Sex is one point on a wide spectrum of intimacy. A shoulder massage, a hand in hand walk, or a deep conversation on the couch can keep you insanely connected without needing to lead anywhere.
Links & Resources
Caitlin V on YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@caitlinvneal Caitlin V's website with free yoni massage guide and courses — https://caitlinvneal.com Erotic Blueprints playlist — search "Caitlin V blueprints" on YouTube Join The Dad Edge Alliance in July to get a signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, both courses, and the 50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF — https://thedadedge.com/join This episode — https://thedadedge.com/1500Closing
Fifteen hundred episodes, and this might be one of the most important conversations I've ever had on this show. When I stood in my mudroom and asked my wife "what type of intimacy would you be up for today," everything about how we connect shifted, and that's available to you too. Don't wait until it's burning hot to have this conversation, and don't settle for being roommates with the woman you married. Share this one with a brother who needs it. Go out and live legendary.
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If you're trying to put the puzzle pieces of your marriage back together, or you're stuck in that roommate syndrome that drains the life out of a home, this replay is for you. I'm bringing back G.S. Youngblood, author of two bestselling books, The Masculine in Relationship and The Art of Embodiment for Men, because over the past couple of months I've gotten so many emails from men who are really, really struggling in their marriages. His work has come up again and again in our community, and he's even helped me with my own clients.
What I love about G.S. is that he lives in neither of the two extremes most men swing between. There's the ultimate nice guy who's disrespected, unappreciated, and quietly filled with resentment because his needs never get met, and there's the toxic, controlling, domineering guy on the other end. Neither one is attractive, and neither one leads. G.S. teaches what he calls relational masculinity, staying grounded in your masculine core while being deeply connected to your partner, and he lays out a three part blueprint any man can actually follow.
This was one of our top shows of the past year, and we get into the stuff that changes marriages. We talk about firm but loving parenting and why ruling by fear breaks down the relationship you'll want with your kids later. We talk about grounding your nervous system before you ever try to fix anything, and G.S. even walks me through a live embodiment exercise right there in my chair. And we get honest about sex, rejection, and the little hurt boy that shows up when we feel shut down.
G.S. was one of our speakers at the Men's Forge this past April, and he blew the doors off. I've read his book three times now. If you've been banging your head against the wall in your marriage, or you just want to understand why your wife can sniff out an agenda from a mile away, this conversation is going to give you clarity and probably piss you off a little at the same time, in the best way.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry sets up the replay and why he's bringing G.S. Youngblood back for men struggling in their marriages
[3:00] The July promotion for the Alliance and Boardroom, with a hard stop on July 31st
[5:05] G.S. on his intense but loving childhood and how it polarized him into the good boy role
[7:36] Firm but loving parenting, and why he went the opposite direction with his own kids
[10:06] The energetic difference between "no" with an iron fist and "I love you, but no"
[11:15] Why ruling by fear gets compliance but breaks the free flowing relationship you want later
[14:05] Inner clarity comes first, and why nice guys chase external validation instead
[16:01] The daily embodiment practice G.S. installs with every man before anything else
[20:03] A day in the life of his grounding routine: ground connection, breathwork, movement, meditation
[22:41] Why embodiment sticks better than meditation, and a live exercise Larry does in his chair
[26:36] Curiosity, agenda, and how women sense the energetic plane men usually ignore
[31:21] The frozen "data file" picture men keep of their wives, and why the feminine is always changing
[34:31] Emotional safety as the foundation of sexual chemistry, and going for the cause not the symptom
[39:38] The Masculine Blueprint: respond versus react, provide structure, and create safety
[41:07] What to tell the man who says "I stay calm and she still pushes back"
[45:59] Provide structure without domination, and the clarity plus inclusion principle
[50:18] Larry's story of owning his need for sex without getting pissy, and how it landed for his wife
[53:02] Why sexual rejection feels like kryptonite, and owning your sexuality with power or humor
[58:02] The gift of reassurance from Larry's wife, and reframing rejection that isn't about you
[1:03:16] Leading your partner toward arousal by getting her back into her body
[1:04:35] Where to find G.S.: his bootcamp, workshops, Instagram, and book
Five Key Takeaways
Lead your family with firmness and heart at the same time, not with an iron fist and not with a loose "anything goes" structure. You can be powerful, clear, and unyielding while staying in your heart, and that artful blend is what your kids and your wife actually need. Before you try to fix anything in your marriage, ground your nervous system with a daily embodiment practice. When you're triggered, you make regressed, reactive decisions, but when you bring your awareness back into your body and into the present moment, the fight in front of you isn't nearly as scary as your nervous system claims. Stop pounding on the symptoms and go find what's underneath. When a good woman is chronically prickly, critical, or shut down sexually, it's usually because a need isn't being met or a wound never got addressed, and your job as a man is to lead the way back to connection rather than blame her mood. You may or may not be the problem, but you are the solution. Stop trying to figure out who caused the fight and step up to be bigger than her mood, because taking ownership of the repair is what masculine leadership actually looks like. Rejection around sex feels like kryptonite, but going into your little hurt boy and pouting is deeply unattractive to your wife. Own your sexuality with calm power or playful humor, remember that a "no" often has nothing to do with you, and know that her desire can live just below the surface waiting for connection to bring it up.Links & Resources
Episode 1499 show notes: https://thedadedge.com/1499 Join The Dad Edge Alliance and Boardroom (July promotion): https://thedadedge.com/join The Dad Edge Boardroom mastermind (apply and book a call): https://thedadedge.com/mastermind G.S. Youngblood's website and bootcamp: https://gsyoungblood.com G.S. Youngblood on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodClosing
Go back to the moment in this episode where I told G.S. about my wife looking me dead in the eye and saying, "Larry, it's never you." I had spent years viewing every "not tonight" through a lens of personal rejection, and that one piece of reassurance changed how I show up. That's the whole point of this work. You are not the toxic iron fist guy and you are not the resentful nice guy, you're a man learning to lead with a straight spine and a big heart. If this episode shook something loose for you, share it with a brother who's been quietly banging his head against the wall in his own marriage, and go grab the July promotion at thedadedge.com before it's gone on July 31st. Go out and live legendary.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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This is a marriage and fatherhood Q&A episode of The Dad Edge with Larry Hagner and Joe, recorded as Larry rolls his June birthday promotion into July ahead of his 51st. It's a quieter, more vulnerable episode than most. Two members brought real questions, and both answers turned into something close to a masterclass on leading at home without resentment.
Rich opened up about a marriage that's been struggling for a couple of years. He and his wife have started reconnecting, but he feels the load is one-sided. He's carrying the household, the kids, two jobs, and the role of primary parent, while she's drawing a line on how much she's willing to change. Joe's answer reframed the whole problem. Stop compromising, he said, because compromise has regret baked into it. Lead instead. He shared how he and Ivy split their money, how he trained himself to notice the socks on the floor she'd notice, and why an underlying resentment will sabotage everything no matter how well you execute the plan.
Then Larry delivered what Joe called a freaking masterclass on the difference between expectations and boundaries, the thing 95% of the men he coaches get backwards. An expectation is a clearly communicated request you then release because you don't control the other person. A boundary is the part you own and enforce on yourself. He walked Rich through actual language, leading with structure, owning specific responsibilities, and turning a fight into a collaboration. The line that landed: uncommunicated expectations breed resentment.
The second half got personal fast. Jason Grace, a leader in the Alliance who runs the divorce group, asked about the gap between being ready for a new stage of fatherhood and being willing to step into it. His daughter just graduated and is leaving for an equestrian science program in Virginia. Both Larry and Joe are living the same thing right now. Larry's son leaves for the University of Arkansas on August 6th, and he choked up describing the 5.5-hour campfire conversation they shared on a recent trip. Joe read Psalm 127 and the picture of children as arrows, the archer deciding how he launches them into the world. If you've got a kid getting close to leaving, or a marriage where you feel like you're carrying it alone, this one is for you.
Timeline Summary
[1:01] Larry welcomes July, turns 51, and extends his birthday promotion with a hard stop on July 31st
[3:06] Joe checks in from a new location mid-move, and the hosts set up the marriage and fatherhood themes
[4:04] Rich asks for help with a marriage that feels one-sided on compromises, budgeting, and household responsibilities
[7:23] Joe makes the case against compromising because regret is baked into it, and reframes the answer as leading
[9:25] How Joe and Ivy handle money with separate accounts and real trust instead of monitoring every dollar
[12:48] Joe on the socks he trained himself to notice and paying attention to what matters to your wife
[14:39] Why underlying resentment is the biggest turnoff and will sabotage how you lead at home
[16:24] Larry breaks down the difference between expectations and boundaries that 95% of men get backwards
[18:38] The clean room example showing why clarity beats assuming people should just know
[20:16] Larry gives Rich exact language to open the conversation without it landing as an attack
[21:35] How to lead with structure by owning specific responsibilities and inviting your wife to collaborate
[24:27] Joe warns against tying too much to one conversation and shares the expectancy versus expectations idea
[27:17] Larry asks Jason Grace about the gap between readiness and willingness as kids hit new stages
[29:06] Larry talks through his son leaving for Arkansas on August 6th and the 5.5-hour campfire conversation
[36:14] Joe reads Psalm 127 and the picture of children as arrows the archer launches into the world
[40:18] The real readiness question is whether you've made your kids ready, and why it's never too late
Five Key Takeaways
Stop compromising and start leading. Compromise has regret built into it, so instead of giving something up and quietly resenting it, decide what your household needs and choose to lead in that area. Resentment leaks out no matter how well you execute. Your wife can sense your discontent through your body language and energy, so address the underlying resentment before you ever try to change the dynamic at home. Expectations and boundaries are not the same thing. An expectation is a request you communicate clearly and then release because you don't control the other person, while a boundary is the part you own and enforce on yourself. Uncommunicated expectations breed resentment. Don't assume your partner should just see how much you're doing and step up, because adults need to hear things at least three times, and it's on you to communicate clearly and calmly. You'll never be fully willing to let your kids go, so focus on whether you've made them ready. The readiness that matters isn't yours, it's whether you've given your kids the tools, the faith, and the foundation to face the world and pick themselves back up when they fall.Links & Resources
Join The Dad Edge Alliance (July promotion with signed book, two courses, and bonus PDF): https://thedadedge.com/join 50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF: https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions Episode 1498 show notes: https://thedadedge.com/1498Closing
If today hit home, it's probably because you're living one of these seasons right now, whether that's feeling like you're carrying your marriage alone or watching a kid get close to leaving the nest. Go back to the moment Larry described sitting at that campfire until 12:26 a.m., having the longest and best conversation he's ever had with his son, and ask yourself where you can create that kind of connection this month. Don't lose the battle for someone's heart just to win an argument, and don't wait until the last few years, because they fly by faster than anything. Share this episode with a dad or a husband who needs to hear it, and if the show keeps adding value to your life, follow, rate, and leave a review so more men can find it. Go out and live legendary.
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Charles Gaudet built his first multi-million dollar business at 24 years old while battling severe learning disabilities, survived a hospitalization in his early twenties after working from 3:30am until midnight seven days a week, and has since helped clients across six, seven, eight, and nine figure businesses generate over $1 billion in combined revenue. Yahoo Finance nicknamed him the CEO Whisperer, his work has been featured in Forbes and Fox Business, and he hosts the Beyond Seven Figures podcast. But none of that is what makes this conversation worth your time.
What makes this episode worth your time is Charles sitting down with Larry and being completely honest about the phone call his dad made in the final weeks of his life, offering to give up everything he had ever made just to spend more time with his kids and grandkids. That one moment reframed everything Charles thought he knew about success, hard work, and what a father is actually building toward. If you have ever worn your busyness like a badge, this one is going to hit you somewhere important.
Charles is a husband of 24 years to his wife Heather, a father of three, a CEO coach to some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world, and a man who learned the hard way that working harder is not the same as building something that lasts. This is Episode 1497 of the Dad Edge.
Charles Gaudet went from a kid selling construction paper art door to door at age four to coaching billionaires in boardrooms, and the thread connecting all of it is the same lesson a neighbor named Mrs. Hersey gave him when he was mortified: always bring your best.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens with a June-only Alliance offer including a signed copy of his book, a patience course, and 50 intimate conversation starters
[3:07] Charles explains how Yahoo Finance dubbed him the CEO Whisperer and why asking the questions nobody else will ask is his edge
[4:40] The boardroom moment with the CEO of a $34 billion company and why Charles was the only person in the room willing to challenge him
[8:03] Charles tells the story from the US Army War College: a five-star general who couldn't figure out why they kept losing a battle until he asked the lowest-ranking soldier on the ground
[13:26] The phone call from his dad in the final weeks of his life: "I would give up everything I've ever made just to spend more time with you and the grandkids"
[17:29] Growing up barely seeing his dad, the pillow and blankets by the front door, and starting his first business at age four just to get his dad's attention
[20:29] Selling construction paper art door to door as a kid and the lesson Mrs. Hersey gave him that shaped every standard he has held himself to since
[23:07] Charles teaching his son the difference between being an employee and owning a business using a lemonade stand, and watching his son at 19 reach a multi-million dollar valuation
[28:16] Working 3:30am to midnight seven days a week, not eating, not sleeping, and landing in the emergency room at 22 with his organs shutting down
[41:32] The diving board principle: the further it bends, the higher you spring, and why gratitude became Charles's superpower when resistance shows up
[45:29] Charles's dad competing against him instead of cheering for him, and why Charles chose a completely different approach with his own kids
[47:35] What it means to be the shoulders your kids stand on, matching his son dollar for dollar on a car, and why making it easier is not always making it better
[52:55] How Charles and Heather built a marriage strong enough to last by having the hard conversation about honesty before they were even fully exclusive
[1:02:26] The distinction between being rich and being wealthy, and the mic drop moment when Charles's son told him exactly why their family has the highest quality of life he knows
[1:07:32] Why a loud house means happy kids and what it looks like to build a home people actually want to come back to
Five Key Takeaways
The people who give you the most honest feedback are the most valuable people in your life. Whether it is a 10-year assistant, a lowest-ranking soldier, or a neighbor who tells a four-year-old his artwork is not worth $0.50, the person willing to tell you the truth is the one who actually helps you grow.
Hustle culture is using the wrong scorecard. Working hard and working until midnight are not goals. The question is what outcome you are actually working toward, and whether the sacrifices you are making are getting you closer to the life you want or further from it.
Resistance is not a sign that something is going wrong. It is usually a sign you are about to break through to a new level. Charles uses gratitude as a tool to stay in his own power rather than giving it away to circumstances he cannot control.
Your kids do not need you to make everything easy for them. They need you to build the shoulders they can stand on. The goal is to help them become healthier, wealthier, and happier than you, not to protect them from the lessons that would get them there.
True wealth is not measured by the bank account. It is measured by the quality of your life. When Charles asked his son how he would rate their family's quality of life, his son said they had the highest of anyone he knew, because he actually wanted to spend time with his parents.
Links & Resources
Predictable Profits — https://www.predictableprofits.com Beyond Seven Figures Podcast — search "Beyond Seven Figures" on your podcast app Follow Charles Gaudet on Instagram and LinkedIn — @CharlesGaudet Dad Edge Episode 1497 Show Notes — https://www.thedadedge.com/1497 Join the Dad Edge Alliance — https://www.thedadedge.com/join Kid Questions Resource — https://www.thedadedge.com/kidquestionsClosing
Charles Gaudet sat in a boardroom with the CEO of a $34 billion company and asked the question no one else in the room was willing to ask. He built companies, lost his health, nearly lost his mind, and then got a phone call from his dying father that reframed everything. And somehow, in the middle of all of it, he figured out how to be the kind of dad whose kids say they want to spend more time with him than anyone they know. That is the whole game right there. Share this episode with a man in your life who is still confusing busyness with progress. He needs to hear it. Subscribe, leave a review, and help other dads find the show. Go out and live legendary.
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Marty Hofman built a multi-million dollar real estate operation from a single $5,000 duplex, but what he's really known for isn't the portfolio. He's the founder of OKC REIA, the host of the Kill Complacency podcast with over 180,000 downloads, and the author of "Complacency Kills: Stop Drifting and Start Living the Life God Designed You For." He's also a husband of 24 years to his wife Ginger, a father of six, and a man who has built his entire life around one relentless idea: complacency is always at the door.
In this conversation, Marty and Larry get into the Seven F's framework, why "I want to be more intentional" is meaningless without specifics, how your environment will eventually defeat your willpower, and what it actually looks like to fight for your marriage and your kids at the same time. If you've ever felt like you're living on autopilot and you can't quite put your finger on why, this episode was made for you.
Marty is a husband, father of six, real estate investor, podcast host, and author who has given his life to helping men kill complacency before it kills everything they care about. This is Episode 1496 of the Dad Edge.
Marty's book just dropped in May and this conversation is everything you'd hope for from a man who doesn't just talk about living with intention, he's built an entire framework to help you do it every single day.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Marty joins the show and Larry kicks things off with a quote that anchors the whole episode: "The enemy of intention is complacency"
[2:18] Why complacency isn't a one-time enemy you defeat — it keeps knocking, every single day, like Oreos on the kitchen counter
[5:22] "Your environment will eventually trump your willpower" — Marty and Larry debate where willpower ends and environment takes over
[8:46] Why saying "I want to be more intentional" is not enough — and what it actually takes to turn that into a real behavior change
[10:43] The difference between a vague goal and a measurable one: phone away at the door, greet your wife by name, make it specific
[12:34] Todd Herman's insight on the first 45 seconds of any interaction and why Marty puts it to work every time he walks through the front door
[14:04] Larry introduces Marty's full background — the $5,000 duplex, the Kill Complacency podcast, the Seven F's framework, 24 years of marriage to Ginger
[30:27] How intentional actions become identity over time — and why date night stops being a discipline and starts being just who you are
[32:16] Why putting your marriage on the front burner is the best thing you can do for your kids, not despite them
[36:50] Faith as a daily decision — how Marty grew up in a Christian home of 10 kids, went to Bible college at 18, and met Ginger there
[43:16] Six kids, ages 9 to 22 — how Marty stays intentional across the board by protecting Friday family night like a funeral-level commitment
[51:33] Parenting adult kids and the part nobody talks about — Marty tells the story of his son Ezekiel, video game addiction, homelessness, and what it means to show up when your kid can't have a conversation
[57:54] Why we have to let our kids fail — and why praying for your child to hit rock bottom is one of the hardest, most loving things a parent can do
[1:00:29] Where Ezekiel is now — working construction, up at 5am to read his Bible, completely transformed
[1:02:04] Where to find Marty, the Kill Complacency assessment, and the book that just came out May 12th
Five Key Takeaways
Complacency is not something you defeat once. It comes back every day, in every area of your life, which is exactly why intentionality has to be a daily practice, not a one-time decision.
"I want to be more intentional" means nothing without specifics. Put your phone in the car on date night, greet your wife by name when you walk in the door, and schedule one-on-ones with each of your kids. Vague goals produce vague results.
Your environment will eventually beat your willpower. If you want to change a behavior, change what you're surrounded by first, whether that's removing the cookies from the counter or getting away from friends who make the habit harder to break.
Prioritizing your marriage over your kids is not selfish, it's the most important thing you can do for them. When your kids feel the security of a strong, affectionate marriage, they feel safe. When that foundation cracks, they feel it at 9 and still feel it at 39.
You have to let your kids fail. As painful as it is to watch, failure is where they learn best and sometimes the most loving thing a dad can do is stay in relationship, keep showing up, and pray for them to hit the bottom they need to hit to climb back up.
Links & Resources
Kill Complacency (book and website) — https://www.killcomplacency.com Kill Complacency Podcast — search "Kill Complacency" on your podcast app Complacency Assessment — available at killcomplacency.com Follow Marty Hofman on social media — @MartyHofman (1 F, 2 N's) Willpower Doesn't Work by Benjamin Hardy — available wherever books are sold The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman — available wherever books are sold Dad Edge Episode 1496 Show Notes — https://www.thedadedge.com/1496 Join the Dad Edge Community — https://www.thedadedge.com/join Kid Questions Resource — https://www.thedadedge.com/kidquestionsClosing
Marty spent years watching complacency chip away at men who had everything going for them and he built an entire life and a framework to fight back against it. Whether it was the moment he described greeting Ginger by name when he walked through the door, the Friday night family tradition his kids now look forward to, or the raw honesty of watching his son Ezekiel hit rock bottom and praying for it to happen so he could finally come back, this conversation was a reminder that intentional living isn't a personality type. It's a daily decision. Share this one with a man in your life who you know is drifting. He needs to hear it. And if this episode moved you, subscribe, leave a review, and help other dads find the show. Go out and live legendary.
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In this episode, Lee returned to the Dad Edge Alliance for an exclusive live Q&A with members asking real-time questions about raising kids to think like value creators. The conversation covers everything from how to engage a four-year-old in family finances to what to do when a capable adult son is drifting in a digital fog. If you've ever wanted to raise kids who don't just follow rules but genuinely understand why building a life of meaning matters, this one delivers.
Most parenting conversations focus on values, the character traits we want our kids to have. Lee draws a sharp distinction: having a values list is fine, but the real work is teaching kids to create value, holistically, across three buckets: material (money and lifestyle), positive emotional energy (how alive you feel going through life), and spiritual connectedness (family, community, and purpose). That framework, combined with one simple question (how would you like to create value in the world?), is the thread that runs through every answer Lee gives, whether he's talking to a dad with four-year-old twins, a dad with checked-out teenagers, or a dad watching a 20-year-old spend six hours a day alone in his room.
This is especially powerful for any dad who has felt the frustration of talking at his kids instead of being with them, who wants to make family meetings something his kids actually look forward to, or who is watching a young adult drift and wondering when to push harder versus when to change the environment instead.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry introduces Lee Benson: Wall Street Journal bestselling author, founder of Dinner Table (impacting 50,000-plus families), serial entrepreneur with eight companies and a nine-figure exit, back for a second exclusive Alliance Q&A
[3:31] Lee's entrepreneurial origin story: pulling weeds at age 6 for $0.25 an hour, playing over 1,000 shows in a band in the early 80s, and launching his first actual business in 1993 after a lifetime of learning to trust the struggle
[5:36] Coming home at 17 to find his clothes in paper grocery sacks on the porch and the locks changed, and why getting forced out of a toxic, dangerous home was one of the best things that ever happened to him
[10:23] The Dinner Table framework: the critical difference between having a values list and intentionally creating holistic value across three buckets, material, positive emotional energy, and spiritual connectedness, and why keeping all three in balance is the whole game
[12:41] How the monthly family meeting works: setting shared goals, defining what leadership looks like in the family, reviewing the household budget as a team sport, and why a six-year-old can absolutely have her own line item
[16:19] Tommy's follow-up on his 23-year-old daughter who comes to him for financial advice but won't take it, and the one question Lee says works better than any advice you could give
[19:18] Luke's question: his family used to have a dinner table culture, but phones and teenage independence have caused it to drift, what's the one actionable thing he can take into tomorrow?
[21:23] The loneliness epidemic Lee witnessed firsthand: speaking to six groups of high school seniors in a single day, he watched every group melt when asked what it actually feels like to be more digitally connected and lonelier than ever
[24:03] The statistic that stops the room: only 18% of American families are traditional nuclear families with two biological parents and kids under 18 at home, and why it means anyone can build the family culture they want, regardless of where they started
[27:02] Larry's raw personal question: his 20-year-old son is a great kid headed for the fire academy, but right now he's spending five to six hours a day on screens, physically declining, and stuck in a liminal space with no clear purpose, and Larry doesn't know how to get through to him
[32:49] Lee's answer: environment shapes human nature more reliably than any conversation, and the story of his own brother whose entire trajectory changed when the Marine Corps changed his surroundings, and reversed the moment it was gone
[35:31] Lee pushes back hard on the "kids can't do it today" narrative: two grown men agree they would crush the exact same challenges facing young people right now, so why do adults keep having conversations that tell kids they can't?
[39:36] The digital isolation question: why providing basic needs without accountability for how hours are spent creates the exact environment that enables drift, and what rules of engagement actually look like when you apply them clearly and without flinching
[43:56] Lee flips the table and asks Larry a question: in his entire life, across thousands of leaders he has studied and worked with, only two people have ever been truly "with" him, not talking at, over, or down to him, and what does Larry think most dads are missing?
[45:29] Larry's honest answer: 80% generative questions and psychological safety, 20% intense and emotion-driven lectures, and why that 20% probably feels like the majority of the experience for his son
[48:42] Lee reframes the whole conversation: planting seeds takes time, and being frustrated that a 20-year-old hasn't learned what took you 30 years to figure out is a form of unfairness, the job is to keep planting, not to demand the harvest
[53:06] Lee and Luke on using a hard childhood as rocket fuel: it took Lee 17 years to fully separate from a toxic family situation, and the shift that freed him was realizing it was never about him, it was about people who couldn't even raise themselves
Five Key Takeaways
There is a critical difference between having values and intentionally creating value. Values are character traits on a list. Value creation is an active, daily practice across three buckets: material (money and the lifestyle your family needs), positive emotional energy (how alive and energized you feel going through life), and spiritual connectedness (your bonds with family, community, and purpose). Families that confuse the two drift. Families that focus on all three build something that compounds over decades.
The one question that works at every age is: how would you like to create value in the world? For a four-year-old it plants a seed. For a teenager it opens a door that lectures can't. For a 23-year-old in "I Know Everything Syndrome," it bypasses the defense wall entirely and invites her into a real conversation about who she wants to become. Lee uses it with 3-year-olds and 80-year-old CEOs because it is never about telling someone what to do, it is about making the conversation theirs. The environment shapes human nature more reliably than any conversation. If you make it easy to drift, human nature says they'll drift. Lee has seen this in a brother who became a model Marine the moment the Corps changed his surroundings, and unraveled the moment it was gone. For any dad watching a young adult spiral, the most powerful lever is not a harder talk. It is changing the rules of engagement in the home, clearly and without negotiation, so that moving forward becomes the path of least resistance. Only 18% of American families are traditional nuclear families, and households with two parents where one stays home represent just 7%. Lee's point is not that the numbers are discouraging, it is that they are liberating. The vast majority of families are navigating this in some non-traditional structure, which means there is no inherited blueprint you are obligated to follow. You can build exactly the family you want to lead, and you can start that process at any age. Most adults talk at, over, or down to kids. Almost no one is truly with them, with their potential, with their future self, with who they are still becoming. In Lee's entire life, across thousands of leaders he has studied, only two people showed up for him that way. The dads in this community have the chance to be that person. Getting curious, asking generative questions, and sitting beside a kid instead of facing off against him is not just a communication tactic. It is the whole relationship.Links & Resources
Dinner Table Community: https://dinnertable.com
Execute to Win (CEO Mastermind Groups): https://etw.com
Value Creation Family by Lee Benson: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Creation-Family-Playbook-Setting/dp/1636805981
The Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
Episode Shownotes: https://thedadedge.com/1495 http://thedadedge.com/kidquestionsClosing
What Lee brought to this Q&A is not a framework you need a consultant to implement. It is one question, how would you like to create value in the world?, and the willingness to ask it and actually listen to the answer. Try it this week with one of your kids. And if Larry's raw honesty about talking at his son instead of being with him hit close to home, share this episode with a dad who needed to hear it. If you're not yet part of the Alliance where conversations like this happen live every month, head over to thedadedge.com. Follow the show, leave a rating and review, and help us get this in front of the dads who need it most.
Go out and live legendary.
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Most of us grow up thinking success means staying busy, staying strong, and never stopping. But what happens when the career that defined you is gone? Michael Kay spent decades as a financial planner and NYU instructor helping high achievers build wealth — until he realized the most important investments had nothing to do with portfolios. He's the host of the Chapter X Podcast and author of How to Craft Your Chapter X, and he's spent years guiding successful men through the emotional and psychological shift from career identity to a purposeful next chapter. He's been married to his college sweetheart Wendy since 1977, is a dad of two, and a grandfather of three.
This conversation goes deep on the patterns we inherit from our fathers, what it actually means to listen instead of just waiting to respond, and why retirement without intention is a trap most men never see coming. If you've ever tied your worth to what you do instead of who you are, this one is for you.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry introduces the June Alliance promo — signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood plus three bonus courses for new members
[3:01] Michael joins in studio, sharing what it means to be a dad and grandfather first
[3:48] Larry invites Michael to describe growing up with a demanding, workaholic father who didn't spare physical discipline
[5:29] Michael reflects on how watching his father — who had no model himself — taught him what he would never do with his own children
[9:49] Michael shares what he learned from his father's dedication as a sixth-grade teacher who taught every student at their own reading level
[10:42] Michael's musical upbringing — his uncle was good enough to play with Duke Ellington, and Michael took weekly lessons from a New York Philharmonic trumpeter at 14
[17:55] A butcher named Al Roth becomes a turning point — the first man Michael ever saw who loved his family openly, and what that lit up in him
[22:31] Larry asks how Michael and Wendy have navigated 49 years of marriage, especially given the communication models neither of them grew up with
[26:36] Michael breaks down how men and women process differently — and why creating space instead of rushing to solve is the real skill in marriage
[29:47] What deep listening actually looks like in practice, and why a "yeah, but" response signals that no one was listening at all
[34:26] The origin of "Chapter X" — and how an eighth-grade algebra class planted the idea that every next season of life is something to solve for
[40:19] Why the book is not about money — it's about reclaiming the curious, unfinished person you were before your career became your identity
[43:33] The eulogy exercise: Michael and Larry on why writing your own eulogy is one of the most powerful things a man can do to realign his actions with his values
[47:37] The hard truth that 98% of daily activity often isn't in alignment with what you'd want said about you at the end
[49:44] Michael tells his 50-years-younger self to stop taking himself so seriously, start listening better, and soften the edges
Five Key Takeaways
Nothing happens in a vacuum. The way your father treated you was shaped by everything that happened to him before you arrived. Understanding the roots of that behavior doesn't excuse it, but it changes how you carry it forward. You only break a cycle when something from outside enters your normal. For Michael, that was Al Roth — a marine turned butcher who loved his family loudly and openly. You can't change patterns you can't see, and sometimes it takes a single outside example to show you another way. Men and women don't process information the same way, and pretending otherwise is what creates most communication breakdowns. Allowing space, taking things in small chunks, and saying "let me think about that" are not signs of weakness — they're how you stop reacting and start responding. Retirement without intention is just drift. Most high-achieving men have never asked themselves who they are without the title. Chapter X isn't about winding down; it's about solving for what comes next before the career disappears and leaves a vacuum behind it. Your eulogy is your roadmap. What you want your spouse, your kids, your grandchildren to say about you at the end is the truest picture of what you actually value. The gap between that and how you spent last Tuesday is worth sitting with.Links & Resources
The Dad Edge Alliance (June promo — signed book + bonus courses) — https://thedadedge.com/join Episode show notes and links — https://thedadedge.com/1494 Kid Questions resource — https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions Michael Kay's website, blog, and podcast — https://michaelfkay.com/ Contact Michael directly — [email protected] How to Craft Your Chapter X — available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and at michaelfk.comClosing
Michael Kay has been figuring out what matters most for a long time, and everything he shared in this conversation — from a demanding father who had no model of his own, to a butcher named Al who showed him what a loving man actually looks like — points to the same truth: the way we show up is almost always about where we came from, until we decide it isn't. If this episode hit close to home, send it to a man in your life who's chasing the next thing without knowing why. Rate and review the show so more dads find these conversations, and follow along so you don't miss what's coming next. Go out and live legendary.
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I'll be honest with you — this conversation gave me chills more than once. JoJo Simmons grew up with one of the most recognizable names in music history, the son of Joseph "Run" Simmons, co-founder of Run-D.M.C. and a pioneer of hip hop culture. But what I've always respected about JoJo is that he's never coasted on that name. He's spent years carving out his own path in music, entertainment, and now podcasting, while quietly doing the harder work of becoming a present father and a committed husband.
We went everywhere in this conversation. We talked about what it was like growing up under a microscope, making the kinds of mistakes every teenager makes except having them show up on TMZ. We talked about his parents, how they kept love intact through divorce, how his mother made one of the hardest decisions a parent can make to protect her son, and how his dad evolved from tough love to open communication in a way that shaped the father JoJo is today. This episode is filled with wisdom I didn't expect and moments that made me stop and think about my own home.
JoJo has been married to his wife Denise for nearly seven years, together for 17. They're raising a ten-year-old daughter named Mia and a four-year-old son, Joseph, who is nonverbal and receiving occupational therapy. Watching JoJo talk about both of his kids, the way he's learning to hold space for his daughter as she grows into her own person, and the way he's modeling confidence and calm for his son, you can see a man who is fully in it. Not perfect. Fully in it.
He's also building something. His podcast and media community, For Good, launched just a year ago and it's already growing fast. The name says everything: it represents forever, and it represents putting good into the world. JoJo's vision for it goes beyond episodes and downloads. He wants festivals. He wants a movement. He wants people from every walk of life sitting in a room together feeling heard and seen. After spending an hour with him, I believe he'll build it.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Growing up as the son of Run from Run-D.M.C. — the good and the hard of a very public childhood
[3:47] How JoJo's parents stayed committed to their kids' wellbeing despite divorce, and why he never felt an absence of love
[5:07] The arrest that showed up in the New York Times and TMZ, and the moment JoJo knew he had gone too far
[10:24] What his dad did specifically that shaped the father JoJo wants to be, including the shift from discipline to conversation
[14:28] Dad Edge June offer — signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, the Patience course, and more at thedadedge.com/join
[17:28] JoJo's mom: a single mother with a doctorate who ground every day, never spoke ill of his father, and made the hard call to send JoJo to live with his dad at 13
[22:23] How JoJo met Denise at McDonald's — two vegetarians, one bold move, and a phone call to her mother
[28:38] Ten years of dating, a breakup, a promise ring, and why the time apart made the relationship real
[32:21] How communication and being willing to ask "are we really this bad?" has kept their marriage intact through seven years
[36:56] Raising a ten-year-old daughter — learning to listen instead of lead, and why how you treat her now shapes who she'll accept later
[40:44] JoJo's morning routine: up at 5:30 a.m., candle lit, meditation music, 20–30 minutes of emotional regulation before the household wakes up
[44:54] Raising his four-year-old son Joseph — teaching both kids that they are the value in every room they walk into
[46:30] How JoJo thinks about raising kids in the public eye, protecting them from attaching their worth to fame
[49:39] How the For Good podcast started, what the name means, and the community and movement JoJo is building
[57:38] A ten-year dinner table visualization — what JoJo wants his wife and kids to say when they look back
Five Key Takeaways
Growing up in the spotlight teaches you fast that public mistakes carry a different weight — JoJo's arrest at a pivotal teenage moment became front-page news, and he now uses that experience to stay honest with his own kids about consequence and accountability without shame.
The way your parents handle their relationship with each other after a split shapes your children more than you realize — JoJo's parents never let him see the turmoil between them, and that protection of the family unit became one of the greatest gifts they gave him.
Marriage takes courage from both people — brushing arguments under the rug feels like peace in the short term but builds into the bigger blowups, and JoJo has learned to address issues in the moment rather than let them accumulate.
As a father of a daughter, your emotional regulation sets the template for what she will tolerate and accept in her own relationships — staying calm, listening deeply, and being the safe place she can come to at 2 a.m. at age 20 is the whole job.
You are the thermostat in your home, not the thermometer — JoJo wakes up at 5:30 every morning before the household starts because he knows the energy he brings into the day is the energy the whole family will operate in.
Links & Resources
Join the Dad Edge Alliance (June offer — signed book, Patience course, marriage course, and more) — https://www.thedadedge.com/join Kid Questions resource — https://www.thedadedge.com/kidquestions Full show notes for this episode — https://www.thedadedge.com/1493 For Good Podcast website — https://www.forgooduniverse.com JoJo Simmons on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/jojo_simmons For Good Podcast on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/forgoodpodcast For Good Podcast on YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@ForGoodPodcastClosing
JoJo came into this conversation humble, honest, and more self-aware than I expected from someone who's been in the public eye since he was a teenager. That moment where he talked about looking back ten years from now at the dinner table — not asking for perfection, just asking that every person around that table felt seen, heard, and not forced into anything — that hit me. That's the goal. That's the whole thing. If this episode spoke to something you're working through in your own home, share it with another dad who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, please follow The Dad Edge, leave a rating, and drop a review. Go out and live legendary.
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Jenna Free is a counselor specializing in ADHD regulation who discovered her own diagnosis while drowning in grad school with two babies 17 months apart. She has since developed a full certification program teaching other mental health professionals her ADHD regulation method, and she runs ADHD regulation groups for clients from her home base in Calgary, Alberta.
In this episode, Jenna joined The Dad Edge Alliance for a live Q&A that goes far deeper than a typical ADHD conversation. The focus isn't the diagnosis itself — it's the nervous system, specifically how chronic fight-or-flight mode silently drives the impatience, compulsive behavior, crashes, and parenting struggles so many dads in this community experience. If you've ever wondered why you can't just logic your way into being calmer, this one's for you.
Most of us assume ADHD is about the brain you were born with. Jenna reframes it completely — the real problem isn't the diagnosis, it's the dysregulated nervous system underneath it, and that part is something you can actually change. This conversation pulls back the curtain on the frantic-crash cycle, the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response, why pressure feels like performance, and what it looks like to function from a regulated baseline instead of white-knuckling through the day.
This is especially powerful for any dad who has ever snapped at his kids in the morning, struggled to slow down, or quietly wondered whether go, go, go is actually working against him.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Jenna's background: how her own ADHD diagnosis in grad school — with a six-month-old and an 18-month-old at home — led her to develop the ADHD regulation method
[3:24] Why calendars and timers weren't enough: the frantic-crash cycle Jenna kept seeing in herself and every client she worked with
[4:13] The nervous system root cause: why almost every neurodivergent person (and most parents) is running in a chronic state of fight-or-flight
[6:36] Can you think your way out of it? Jenna explains why logic alone can't calm a dysregulated nervous system
[9:16] Alliance member Jason's question: where to start with regulation for yourself and how to notice when your son is sliding into dysregulation
[10:06] The first practical step — learning to physically feel dysregulation in your body: tight shoulders, rushing, impatience, holding your breath
[11:49] The rushing reframe every parent needs: shifting from "let's go, let's go" to "let's focus" and why that small shift changes the whole morning
[17:55] Breaking down all four modes: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn — including why people-pleasing is a survival response, not a personality trait
[25:26] Alliance member Chris's question: the "pressure to perform" cycle and why functioning in high-intensity fight-or-flight leads to hard crashes and compulsive avoidance
[30:21] Why a formal diagnosis may not matter: Jenna's framework focuses on nervous system regulation regardless of whether you have a label
[40:19] Dysregulation is contagious — but so is regulation: how Jenna's own internal work changed her husband without a single conversation about it
[42:16] Joanne's question: how to help a high-achieving son who struggles at school, and why the most powerful thing parents can do happens before they drop the kids off
[47:21] Jenna's upcoming book, Full Capacity, and why she believes regulation is the most ambitious thing a driven person can pursue
[54:12] The dreamer-freeze type: why a low-motivation, avoidant kid is just as dysregulated as a hyperactive one — it just looks different
[57:10] The host shares his own ADHD management tools — exercise and clean eating — and Jenna explains exactly why they work from a nervous system standpoint
Five Key Takeaways
You can't think your way out of fight-or-flight because it's not a thought problem — it's a nervous system problem. The primal part of your brain believes you're being chased by a bear, and no amount of self-talk will convince it otherwise until you address the physical and behavioral patterns keeping it on alert.
The frantic-crash cycle isn't a productivity style — it's a symptom. When you require pressure to get things done and then collapse afterward, you're not built that way; you've been trained into it. The only way out is to consciously lower the intensity during the good stretches, not just manage the crashes.
Rushing is one of the clearest signals your nervous system has flipped into survival mode. When you catch yourself rushing the kids in the morning, the fix isn't to push through faster — it's to physically slow down and shift from "let's go" to "let's focus," which calms everyone's system and actually gets you out the door more effectively.
Your regulation — or lack of it — is setting the baseline for your whole family. Kids and partners co-regulate with the people around them. You can't force your kids to be calm, but becoming a regulated, grounded presence does more than any conversation about breathing ever will.
Fight-or-flight doesn't always look like intensity. Freeze and avoidance are just as much a dysregulated state as frantic rushing — they're just the other end of the pendulum. A kid who looks unmotivated or a dad who procrastinates for two weeks is dealing with the same nervous system problem as the guy who can't slow down.
Links & Resources
The Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join Questions for the Car (free resource) — https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions ADHD with Jenna Free (social media) — @adhdwithjennafree Full Capacity HQ (upcoming content on regulation for ambitious people) — @fullcapacityhq Episode Shownotes: http://thedadedge.com/1492Closing
What Jenna laid out here isn't a quick fix — and she'd be the first one to tell you that. But there's something powerful in knowing that the part of you that snaps at your kids, crashes after a big push, or can't quite slow down no matter how much you want to — that part isn't a character flaw. It's a nervous system that's been running in survival mode, and it can be retrained. If this conversation hit close to home, share it with a dad you know who's quietly fighting the same battle. And if you're not yet part of the Alliance where conversations like this happen every month, head over to thedadedge.com/join. Follow the show, leave a rating and review, and help us get this in front of the dads who need it most.
Go out and live legendary.
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Jamie Kozub and Chris Carter are the yin and yang behind Shit My Dad Taught Me, a podcast that's exploded to over 2.5 million views every month in barely 18 months. Together they also co-founded Burlington Dads, a community of 7,200 fathers that has raised over $1 million for local families and charities. But what makes these two men worth an hour of your time isn't the numbers. It's the two completely different roads that brought them here.
Jamie has never met his biological father and grew up 40 minutes outside Thunder Bay in a house with no working toilet and a potbelly stove for heat. With his dad working construction hundreds of miles away Monday through Saturday, Jamie was cooking dinner and raising his little brother at 12. He moved out at 15, worked the Sony store from two till ten every day through high school, and was making $130K a year by 18. Then at 19, after blowing $60,000 at the casino, he walked back in, handed over his driver's license, and banned himself from every casino in Ontario.
Chris had the opposite upbringing: a ten-out-of-ten dad who fed every kid who walked through the door and modeled what it means to raise daughters. Now a girl dad of two, Chris shares his number one piece of advice, just take them with you, and the story of the letter that confronted him at 340 pounds. A year later, he's lost nearly 100 pounds and is preparing for his first bodybuilding show at 42.
We also go to some deep waters in this one: their friend Matt's story of losing his father and grandfather to suicide, and my own 33 days of insomnia in 2017 and the counselor's words that changed my perception forever. This is a conversation about fatherhood, brotherhood, and building the communities that keep men alive and thriving. Don't miss it.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry welcomes Jamie Kozub and Chris Carter, the yin and yang behind Shit My Dad Taught Me
[1:56] Jamie on never meeting his biological father and why he feels no void to fill
[2:58] Growing up outside Thunder Bay with no working toilet, a potbelly stove, and a dad gone Monday to Saturday
[10:33] Chris's number one girl dad advice: just take them with you, from boardrooms to private jets
[17:56] Moving out at 15, couch surfing, and working the Sony store from two till ten every day
[19:39] Making $130K at 18 and turning down a University of Miami scholarship
[20:28] Walking into the casino at 19 to ban himself from every casino in Ontario for five years
[26:35] Chris's dad and the barbecue pizza rule: everyone who walks through the door gets fed
[33:02] How Shit My Dad Taught Me reached 2.5 million monthly views through radical authenticity
[37:16] The Lexie J letter story that confronted Chris at 340 pounds and sparked his transformation
[42:18] Their friend Matt's story of loss and his commitment to breaking a generational cycle
[45:18] Larry opens up about 33 days of insomnia and the counselor's words that changed everything
[48:14] Pits and peaks: Chris's daily traditions for getting his girls to open up
[51:46] A warrior on a farm: why the biggest guy in the room works hardest at being gentle
[54:30] Jamie on raising boys who respect women, learn from losing, and greet every guest at the door
[56:47] Inside Burlington Dads: 14 events, a $75K golf tournament, and a $77K Christmas toy drive
Five Key Takeaways
You don't need a void filled to move forward; Jamie chose to honor the dad who raised him while letting go of the one who didn't, and turned a hard childhood into fuel instead of an excuse.
The simplest girl dad advice is also the best: take your kids with you everywhere so they never believe a glass ceiling exists.
Make your home the place where every kid is fed, welcomed, and safe, because you'd rather your kids make their choices under your roof than somewhere else.
Find the thing that confronts you before your family has to write you the letter; Chris lost nearly 100 pounds because he refused to put his daughters in that position.
Whatever pain you're carrying, you don't have to carry it alone; real communities of men exist, and guys like Jamie and Chris will always pick up the phone.
Links & Resources
Shit My Dad Taught Me — available on all platforms, including Spotify and YouTube Follow Chris on Instagram — @chriscarterbd Follow Jamie on Instagram — @jamiekozub Burlington Dads on Facebook Episode resources — https://thedadedge.com/1491 Join the Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join Questions for the Car free download — https://thedadedge.com/kidquestionsClosing
There's a moment in this episode where a 19-year-old kid making six figures walks into a casino, hands over his driver's license, and bans himself for five years because he knew the life he wanted required a different man. That's what taking responsibility actually looks like, and it's the thread running through this entire conversation, from Chris's 100-pound transformation to two men building a community of 7,200 dads who refuse to do life alone. If this one hit home, send it to the brother in your life who needs to hear that good men come together. Go out and live legendary.
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Jess Hilarious has built a career on telling the truth in a way that makes people laugh and feel seen, from the Baltimore open mic scene to Wild 'N Out, starring on Rel, her hit podcast Carefully Reckless, and now co-hosting The Breakfast Club. But in this conversation, we go somewhere most people have never heard her go: what it really took to become the mother and co-parent she is today.
Jess got pregnant at 19, raised in a strict church household, terrified to tell her parents she even had a boyfriend. She opens up about the first six months after her son Ashton was born, when she didn't want to be a mom at all, and the breakdown on her knees in her mother's house that ended with her baby smirking up at her from the crib. That was the moment everything changed.
We also walk through the hard road with her son's father, Jerome. The cheating, the other girl at Ashton's first birthday party, and the public comment that revealed he had a second child on the way. Instead of staying at war, Jess chose to understand the trauma behind his behavior, and the two of them took actual co-parenting vows: for better or for worse, till death do we parent.
As a father of four boys, I know how many men in our community are navigating co-parenting right now, and this episode is packed with hard-won wisdom on boundaries, accountability, and putting your kids first. Jess's new book, Til Death Do We Parent, brings her trademark humor and honesty to all of it, and this conversation is the perfect introduction.
Timeline Summary
[1:01] Larry welcomes comedian, actress, and Breakfast Club co-host Jess Hilarious to the show
[1:48] Jess opens up about not wanting to be a mom for the first six months after her son was born
[3:15] Telling Jerome she was pregnant at 19 and his unexpectedly joyful reaction
[4:25] A charge on her record, no job offers, and moving back in with her mom after Ashton arrived
[4:52] The breakdown in her mom's house: "why would you pick me to be your mother?"
[7:17] Telling her parents at 8 PM: her dad's ten-second breathing technique and her mom's prayer
[15:02] The funeral story at age eight that proved Jess was born funny
[17:43] Martin Lawrence's brother calls and Jess fakes ten years of stand-up experience
[18:41] Opening for Martin Lawrence in front of 13,000 people in Baltimore after five open mics
[25:05] Rome brings another girl to Ashton's first birthday party
[26:57] Leaving a good man for one more chance, then learning about Rome's second child from a public comment
[31:14] Understanding Rome's trauma: losing his mother at ten and finding her himself
[33:32] The co-parenting vows: "I take you, Jerome James, to be my lawfully wedded co-parent"
[35:22] Dating selfishly and taking accountability for the men she brought around Ashton
[38:15] The 1 AM phone call that made her husband draw the line on boundaries
[42:58] Larry shares meeting his biological father by chance in a St. Louis Starbucks at age 30
Five Key Takeaways
Treat co-parenting like a vow you can't walk away from, because your child is watching how you show up for better or for worse. Your kids absorb every ounce of tension between you and your ex, and defiance at school is often a reflection of the energy they're consuming at home. Understanding the trauma behind your ex's behavior won't excuse it, but it can free you from resentment and make a real friendship possible. When you have kids, you date as a package, so anyone who isn't building a bond with your child isn't actually good for you either. Boundaries protect every relationship you have, and putting "friendship hours" around your co-parent isn't disrespect, it's what keeps your marriage and your co-parenting healthy.Links & Resources
Til Death Do We Parent by Jess Hilarious: https://www.amazon.com/Til-Death-Do-We-Parent/dp/1668059355 Jess's website — https://jesshilariousofficial.com Follow Jess on Instagram — @jesshilarious_official Follow Jess on Twitter and Snapchat — @jess_hilarious Jess Hilarious Official on Facebook Episode resources — https://thedadedge.com/1490 Questions for the Car free download — https://thedadedge.com/questions The Dad Edge Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/joinClosing
There's a moment in this episode where Jess describes falling to her knees, asking her infant son why he chose her as his mother, and looking up to see him smirking at her from the crib as if to say "I'm here, so put on your big girl panties." That's the kind of raw honesty that changes how you see your own parenting story. If you're navigating co-parenting, boundaries, or just the weight of feeling unready, share this one with a brother who needs it. Go out and live legendary.
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Gentlemen, we're two weeks out from Father's Day and this Q&A hit me right in the chest. We've got Joe the Legend joining me today, a father of five who brings that earned wisdom — the kind that only comes from years of being in the trenches, making mistakes, and choosing to grow through them. This conversation is real, raw, and exactly what this community is built on.
We tackle two questions from the Alliance today. The first one is about a 12-year-old daughter who's been lying and stealing from family members — and how to guide her toward accountability while keeping the relationship open and safe. The second one is something almost every dad I know battles: losing patience by the end of the day when the tank is completely empty.
Joe drops some of the most honest perspective you'll hear anywhere on why kids lie and steal, what birth order has to do with it, and how a scarcity mindset can drive behaviors you'd never expect. And then he shares something that personally rocked me — that impatience isn't a discipline problem. It's a selfishness problem. That one landed hard, and I'll explain why.
This is the kind of show that reminds you why we're here. Not to be perfect dads. But to be intentional ones who keep showing up, keep learning, and keep choosing our kids — even when we've got nothing left in the tank.
Timeline Summary
[1:01] Larry introduces the show and a special four-part June offer for new Dad Edge Alliance members
[1:38] What's included: signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, two courses, and a brand new PDF resource
[3:39] Today's two topics: how to handle a child who is lying and stealing, and losing patience by end of day
[4:00] Morgan (The Engineer) asks his question: his 12-year-old daughter is stealing from family members, often tied to jealousy
[5:36] Joe shares that lying is almost always a defense mechanism and stealing is tied to either scarcity mindset or attention-seeking
[6:55] Joe reflects on growing up without enough — and how that scarcity mindset made stealing feel necessary as a kid
[8:10] Joe raises the birth order question: second borns can feel like second best, and attention imbalance can drive behavior
[9:38] Joe's reframe: are you unintentionally reinforcing scarcity in your home, or creating uneven attention among your kids?
[12:08] Larry tells the story of his son Mason getting caught shoplifting at age 11 — caught on video at a local store
[15:28] Larry calls the store, finds out the owner is a retired cop, and decides not to protect Mason from the consequences
[17:49] Larry takes Mason to face the store owner directly and tells his son: whatever this man asks you to do, you're going to do it
[20:34] The 30-day consequence plan: daily chores, journaling gratitude and reflections, and a final trip to the police station
[22:15] The Sonic parking lot conversation — where Mason finally broke down and told the truth about why he did it
[23:37] Mason's real confession: he was afraid of losing another friend if he didn't go along with the theft
[25:51] Calvin asks his question: how do you stay patient at the end of the day when you're completely drained?
[27:40] Larry's answer: surrender before you walk in the room — pray and admit you can't do it alone
[29:50] Joe's reframe on patience: it's listed as a fruit of the spirit in Galatians, and a lack of it is rooted in selfishness
[31:18] Joe's inner monologue when he feels impatience rising — asking himself whether it's about him or about the person in front of him
[34:29] Joe reflects on the relationship he has with his oldest son today, and why patience made it possible
Five Key Takeaways
Lying is almost always a defense mechanism — when your child lies, look first at what they're afraid of, not just what they did wrong. Stealing in kids is usually tied to either a scarcity mindset or an attention grab — ask yourself if you're unintentionally reinforcing either one in your home. When your kid does something wrong, connection has to come before correction — Mason's breakthrough happened in a Sonic parking lot, not in a punishment. Impatience isn't a willpower problem, it's a selfishness problem — if you're losing patience, something is encroaching on your agenda, and recognizing that shifts everything. You cannot white-knuckle sustainable patience on your own — whether through faith, community, or both, the fathers who show up consistently are the ones who know they need help.Links & Resources
The Dad Edge Alliance: https://www.thedadedge.com/join Questions for the Car (free PDF): https://www.thedadedge.com/kidquestions Episode Show Notes: http://thedadedge.com/1489Closing
This episode is a reminder that the best fathering doesn't happen when we have it all together. It happens in Sonic parking lots, in honest conversations after long days, and in the moments when we finally stop trying to do it alone. Joe's story about his oldest son hit me differently today — knowing how far they've come, knowing there's no reason they should be close, and hearing him say that patience is what made the difference. That's the work, gentlemen. That's exactly the work. If today's conversation meant something to you, pass it to a dad who needs it, leave us a five-star review, and keep showing up for your family every single day. Go out and live legendary.
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Thomas Pfanner is a husband, father of three, combat athlete with nearly 20 years of jiu jitsu training, and a former strength coach at the University of Oregon who was part of a Pac-12 championship team and a Rose Bowl season. After seven years as a public educator watching young men arrive unprepared for the real world, he channeled that frustration into a mission: equipping fathers to become the trusted, respected leaders their kids are actually hungry for. His Amazon bestselling book Dads Who Lead launched September 26th, 2025, and it's already resonating deeply with fathers who want to lead with strength and integrity.
This conversation starts where most parenting conversations are afraid to go. Thomas shares the raw story of his son Charles calling him at 14 to say he was done, the long road of rebuilding that relationship, and the specific leadership shifts that changed everything. From there, we get into the five attributes he outlines in Dads Who Lead — faith, ownership, respect, groundbreaking adventure, and expectation — and how they stack together to help dads go from being a manager to being a mentor their kids actually choose to lean into.
If you've ever felt like you're losing your son or daughter and don't know what to do next, Thomas has lived that story and walked out the other side. And if your relationship with your teenager is already solid, this episode will sharpen the tools you're using and show you where the gaps might be.
Whether you're trying to rebuild a relationship or strengthen one that's already good, this episode is for the dad who refuses to go to his grave wondering what went wrong.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Thomas welcomes the audience and Larry teases the June offer for Dad Edge Alliance members
[3:15] Thomas shares how Charles at 14 called to say he was moving to his mom's across state — and what led up to that moment
[5:23] The day Thomas couldn't find his son after wrestling practice and the call that changed everything
[6:36] What it felt like to lose 14 years of relationship work in a single phone call — and the journey that followed
[8:23] Thomas and his wife leave their home, jobs, and stability to move across state to pursue Charles before his freshman year
[9:54] Larry previews the show's core topic: how to rebuild and build trust with teenagers, especially when the relationship has been fractured
[13:10] The first step in rebuilding trust wasn't with Charles — it was rebuilding Thomas's belief in himself as a father
[15:40] How Thomas used the concept of "highlight reels" to keep faith in Charles even when the evidence was going the wrong direction
[21:34] The five attributes of leadership from Dads Who Lead: faith, ownership, respect, groundbreaking adventure, and expectation
[24:25] Chip Kelly's single line on expectation that Thomas has never forgotten — and what it means for every parent who lets things slide
[28:11] How Thomas shifted his "brand" from manager to mentor — and why your son has an emotional reaction the moment your name pops up on his phone
[32:30] The two primary engines of respect: action respect and connection respect — and why one matters more to men and one matters more to women
[38:46] Charles's response to the book being out in the world, and where he is now — working full-time and calling his dad 4 or 5 times a week
[41:14] Why the 2027 father-son retreat is going to Normandy, France — and what Thomas wants dads and sons to take home from that week
[43:24] How the retreat program works — who it's for, age requirements, and what physical experiences make it different from other men's events
Five Key Takeaways
Before you can rebuild trust with your teenager, you have to rebuild trust in yourself. Thomas had to stop listening to the comforting voices telling him he'd done enough, anchor into his faith that he was called to be Charles's father for a reason, and believe Charles could become something great before Charles believed it himself.
The brand you've built as a dad is the emotion your kid feels when your name hits their phone screen. You control that brand completely. If they've known you mainly as the person telling them what to do, switching to a mentor who's genuinely curious about their story is what shifts the brand — and softens the resistance when you do need to hold a standard.
There are two ways kids earn respect: through action and through connection. Action respect comes from who you are and how you carry yourself. Connection respect comes from being the person who actually knows their story. The dad who does both is nearly impossible to replace — online or otherwise.
Chip Kelly's line from Dads Who Lead is worth writing on a wall: if you accept it, expect it. Every time you let something slide without a conversation, you're voting for that behavior to continue. Setting expectations your teenager can buy into means they have to understand the why — and that only happens when the relationship is strong enough for them to care.
Rites of passage aren't a tradition for tradition's sake — young men are starving for a moment where someone tells them who they are and gives them permission to step into it. If dads don't create that moment intentionally, the culture, social media, or a peer group will create it for them.
Links & Resources
Dads Who Lead by Thomas Pfanner — Free leadership style quiz for dads — https://dadswholead.com Father-son retreat experiences (domestic and Normandy 2027) — https://dadswholead.com/experience Questions for the Car (free PDF) — https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions Dad Edge Alliance Mastermind — https://thedadedge.com/join Podcast shownotes: http://thedadedge.com/1488Closing
Thomas's story with Charles is one of those episodes that reminds you why we do this work. He didn't coast when it got hard. He made the call, packed up his life, and went after his son — no guarantees, no safety net, just faith that his kid was worth it. If you know a dad who's in that painful season of feeling like he's losing his relationship with his teenager, share this episode with him today. It could be the turning point he didn't know he needed. And if this show has meant something to you, head over and leave a five-star review. It helps more dads find this message.
Go out and live legendary.
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Justin Goodbread is a serial entrepreneur, business coach, and host of the DecaMillionaire Decoded podcast who has built and sold multiple companies while raising three kids alongside his wife Emily in Tennessee. His father Alan, a Georgia Port Authority worker who homeschooled three children with Juilliard graduates and university professors on a lower-middle-class income, laid the foundation for everything Justin has become as a man, a husband, and a dad.
This episode is a raw, honest look at how faith, family, and legacy intersect when life gets hard. Justin shares the stories behind losing his father suddenly at 61, nearly losing Emily during an 8-hour surgery with a 12% survival rate, and how both moments stripped away his obsession with building empires and replaced it with something that actually matters. If you're a dad who wants to leave your kids with more than money, this conversation will stay with you.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Host opens with a special June Alliance offer including a signed book, two courses, and 50 intimate conversation starters for couples
[2:38] Guest Justin Goodbread is introduced and the two celebrate a recent episode swap on Justin's podcast
[3:46] Justin describes his father Alan and the radical decision his parents made to break a cycle of dysfunction by raising their kids in faith and homeschooling them decades before it was common
[7:39] Dad gives 15-year-old Justin an ultimatum: have a job by Friday or don't come home, with three strict rules that made it nearly impossible in their small Georgia town
[9:53] Justin finds a stranger's overgrown yard, earns $40, and comes home to a father who reveals the lesson he'd orchestrated all along: at 15, you just outearned me
[11:37] Two years after starting "Lawn Care by the Boys," Justin and his brother were earning more individually than their parents combined
[12:33] After a final day hunting and a Taco Bell conversation about responsibility and legacy, Justin returns home to a call that his father had a massive heart attack that night
[13:22] Justin describes a five-year crisis of faith following his father's sudden death at 61, and how grief forced him to rebuild everything from the ground up
[24:01] Justin shares the family motto "No one outworks a Goodbread" and how his dad led with short, hard-to-forget phrases that became the family's operating system
[29:18] Seven years of tribulation including multiple deaths, suicides among friends, and the stripping away of money and relationships down to just Justin, Emily, and a handful of close friends
[31:39] Emily's surgery runs more than 8 hours when doctors said anything past 6 would mean trouble, and Justin sits alone in the hospital waiting room
[33:06] Emily's first words coming out of anesthesia: "Justin, what's another million dollars going to do for us?" and how that question changed the direction of his entire life
[39:44] The post-surgery shift: intentionality replaces ambition, marriage gets prioritized above all, and Justin and Emily travel to Costa Rica and Saint Lucia to invest in their relationship like never before
[43:51] Justin uses the story of Jochebed and Moses to explain his parenting philosophy: mothers nurture in the early years, then fathers step in to disciple their kids into warriors
[46:14] His 21-year-old daughter calls, ready to quit a hard nursing class. Justin says nothing. She already knows exactly what he'll say because she's been discipled.
[53:43] Justin closes with Ephesians 6:13: "having done all, stand" — do your dead-level best, trust grace for the rest, and enter heaven exhausted
Five Key Takeaways
Your kids are watching you model your marriage more than they are watching you parent them. Justin and Emily made it a point to date each other first, keep their marriage above everything else, and trust that their kids would follow what they saw. When Emily nearly died, their daughter was already grounded enough to say "don't worry, dad, we got this." A crisis of faith is not the end of faith. After his father died, Justin spent five years questioning everything he had been raised to believe. What came out on the other side was not a shallower faith but a more surrendered one — a willingness to stop fighting the path and trust the process even when it costs him. The goal is to enter heaven exhausted, not retired. Justin draws a direct line from his father's work ethic to his own rejection of the Western retirement model. Life built around impact, not income, is the shift that Emily's surgery forced him to make, and it became the most clarifying decision of his adult life. Discipleship is about covering your kids in dust. Justin references the Hebrew tradition of students being covered in the dust of their teacher as they walked behind them. The goal is not just to tell your kids what to believe but to walk faithfully enough in front of them that when it counts, they already know what to do. God gets no glory in quitting. Justin's father said it when the family was tempted to pull the kids from homeschooling. Justin's daughter said it back to him at 21, unprompted, when she was ready to drop a nursing class. The phrase became a family doctrine because it was lived out, not just spoken.Links & Resources
DecaMillionaire Decoded Podcast — http://justingoodbread.com/podcast Connect with Justin on Instagram — http://instagram.com/justingoodbread Join the Dad Edge Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/join 50 Intimate Kid Conversation Starters — http://thedadedge.com/kidquestions Show notes and full resources — http://thedadedge.com/1487Closing
Justin's story is not a highlight reel. It is a funeral, an 8-hour surgery, a crisis of faith, and a daughter who already knew what her dad was going to say before he said a word. If something in this episode hit you, send it to a man in your life who needs it. Rate and review the show so more dads can find it, and go out and live legendary.
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One of the hardest things I face as a father is watching my kids deflect responsibility and blame everyone else for their mistakes. A door slams in the car, and suddenly it's the wind's fault. A bad grade lands on the homework sheet, but somehow it's the teacher's fault. I know I'm not alone in this—it's one of the most common questions I get from our Dad Edge community. So I brought my brother Joe back to the Q&A to tackle it head-on, and I'm honestly still thinking about what he said.
Joe has five kids of his own, including three daughters, so he's lived this battle in real-time. He's learned that what looks like defiance or dishonesty is often just a 12-year-old girl—or a 10-year-old boy—drowning in internal noise. There's social media, body image stuff, the need to be accepted, the pressure to be popular. As fathers, we can barely fathom the tornado of things swirling around in their heads. But when we understand that first, everything changes about how we respond.
What struck me most was Joe's wisdom on adopted kids and their fear of failure. If your child came to you a different way—whether adopted or blended—there's an invisible layer of anxiety about worth and belonging. That's not an excuse for irresponsibility; it's context. And context changes how we coach. He walked me through how to use questions instead of accusations, how to celebrate integrity when we see it, and how to be careful with the words we speak because words become the narrative our kids believe about themselves.
This Q&A is one you'll want to listen to twice. Once for the tactics on teaching ownership, and once to hear what Joe says about narratives and the power of telling your kids the truth about who they are. Because if we're building men—and that's what we do here—we have to give them a better story to believe about themselves.
Timeline Summary[0:02] Host introduces The Dad Edge mission: creating leaders of men, families, and communities
[1:02] Welcome to June 2026 and the epic Q&A episode—plus announcement of exclusive Alliance giveaways this month
[1:52] Four exclusive bonuses for joining the Alliance in June: signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, two courses ($500 value each), and 50 Intimate Conversation Starters
[3:49] Joe joins and shares his excitement about these monthly Q&A conversations with the community
[4:42] Sean submits the core question: His 12-year-old adopted daughter Angelina constantly blames others and won't take ownership for her actions
[5:30] Joe responds: At 12, girls are in transition from childhood to womanhood with massive internal pressure around social media, body image, and acceptance
[6:18] The key insight—girls can think about 5-6 things at once while most men focus on one track; understanding this is crucial
[7:23] Covey's principle: Seek to understand before you seek to be understood; girls at 12 are anxious about their origin story and fear of failure
[8:27] The adoption layer: Children who came to families differently often fear they'll be rejected again, which fuels the blame pattern
[10:00] Use questions, not accusations: Instead of "Why did you slam the door?" try "Help me understand what happened"—questions keep the door open instead of triggering defensiveness
[15:45] Teaching integrity and responsibility: Point out integrity every time you see it—in your child, in others, in everyday moments
[38:36] Celebrate integrity immediately: "That showed so much integrity" builds the construct in your child's mind of what integrity actually looks like
[39:43] The power of words: Life and death are in the tongue; be careful about criticism around performance because every child struggles with "not being good enough"
[40:43] Give your kids a better narrative: The foundation for who they are as people is built on the words you speak and the truth you help them believe about themselves
[43:52] Free resource: "Questions for the Car" PDF with 75 age-appropriate questions (5-8, 9-12, and teens) to build connection without the standard "how was school" questions
[45:31] Reminder about Alliance June bonuses and gratitude for the community and reviews
Five Key Takeaways When your kid blames others, they're often drowning in internal noise. Before you react to the deflection, understand the 10 things happening inside their head—social pressure, body image, fear of rejection. Understanding first changes everything about how you coach. Instead of asking "Why did you do that?" use questions to understand. The word "why" triggers defensiveness immediately; "Help me understand what happened" keeps the conversation open and models curiosity instead of accusation. Point out integrity constantly—in your child, in strangers, in everyday moments. Integrity is an abstract word to a 10-year-old, so show them what it looks like. Celebrate it immediately. Build the mental model they'll use for the rest of their lives. The words you speak become the narrative your kids believe about themselves. Lies believed enslave a person; truth believed sets them free. Are you speaking words that will free your kids or words that will trap them? Build connection before you expect influence. Questions that create real dialogue—not "How was school?" but the kind that invites genuine conversation—are the bridge between you and your child's honesty. Links & Resources The Dad Edge Podcast & Resources — https://thedadedge.com/1486 Join The Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join Questions for the Car PDF (75 age-appropriate questions, ages 5-12 and teens) — https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood book — https://thedadedge.com Creating More Patience in the Chaos course ($500 value, free in June) — https://thedadedge.com/join 50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF (free resource for Alliance members) — https://thedadedge.com/join ClosingIf you're struggling with a kid who won't own their mistakes, this conversation is going to shift something in you. I know it did for me. Joe's insight about understanding the tornado of noise inside a preteen's head, and his challenge about the words we speak and the narrative we're building—that's the stuff that matters. That's legacy work. Join the Alliance in June if you want those resources, and don't miss the "Questions for the Car" PDF in the show notes. Your kids need questions that actually matter. Go out and live legendary.
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Dominic Rubino is a business coach with over two decades of experience who built a Brian Tracy franchise from 6 locations to 240 worldwide, sold it, and never looked back. He hosts two highly niched podcasts, Profit Tool Belt and Cabinet Maker Profit System, where he helps small trade business owners get clear on time, team, money, and growth.
What hit me hardest about this conversation was that Dominic had everything on paper. Two hundred and forty franchisees. International operations. A name in the industry. And then his nine-year-old son shrank at the dinner table, and Dominic made the decision right there. He sold the company. He showed up. And now his son is heading off to play NCAA lacrosse.
This episode is about what it actually takes to build a business that serves your life — not the other way around. Dominic talks about delegation, systems, the cost of constant travel, and why the guys who can't stop working are often running from something. If you've ever felt like a prisoner to the income you built, this one's for you.
If you're a father who owns a business or is grinding through a W-2 job that keeps pulling you away from the people you're doing it all for, this conversation will hit close to home. Dominic doesn't deal in theory. He's lived it, coached thousands through it, and he has the frameworks to prove it.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Dominic's last name gets butchered before the mic even starts rolling — and a quick side note about Dallas
[1:54] Host sets up the dinner table moment — nine-year-old Joseph shrinks in his chair and changes everything
[2:17] Dominic describes building a Brian Tracy franchise from 6 to 240 locations across the U.S., Brazil, and Europe
[3:32] A surprise buyout offer comes in from franchisees — and Dominic says no
[4:13] The real cost of constant travel: getting invited to the hotel concierge's birthday party
[5:29] The moment it all shifted: Joseph drops his head at the dinner table and Dominic decides to sell
[7:05] Dominic reflects on the things he missed — first steps, first swimming lessons — and what his kids saw him miss
[9:16] Host shares his own version: his six-year-old son locked around his ankle on the floor, begging him not to leave again
[13:03] Why Dominic stopped being afraid to reinvent himself — and the promise he made to never sacrifice his family again
[20:08] Advice for W-2 guys feeling stuck: stop sending resumes into the void and go talk to a human being
[25:17] "Cat's in the Cradle" — one song that answers this whole conversation, and a hospital story that hits like a gut punch
[31:42] The less you work, the more you make: why Dominic hires great people and then hires them an assistant
[36:15] A live breathing exercise on air — and what it should feel like to actually be on top of your business
[43:23] A client sells his company for seven figures and his wife asks one question: "Does this mean you can finally do donuts with dad?"
[47:12] How Dominic helps trade business owners in the $1–3M range get clear on time, team, money, and growth
[50:07] How to find Dominic — two podcasts, a TEDx talk, and a college wrestler who is definitely not him
Five Key Takeaways
The moment that changes you doesn't announce itself. For Dominic, it was a nine-year-old boy silently shrinking at the dinner table. You don't always know what your kids see you miss, but they're watching — and so are you, somewhere deep down.
Reinventing yourself isn't the scary part. The scarier thing is spending another decade in golden handcuffs, telling yourself you're doing it for the family while the family waits at the door. Stop lying to yourself about being trapped. You're not.
Finding a job is a job. Don't send your resume into the LinkedIn black hole. Figure out which companies and which people you actually want to work for and go talk to them. Every business owner out there is looking for someone committed enough to show up before they're asked.
Hire great people, then hire them an assistant. If your best people are spending their time on tasks that a $20/hour assistant could handle, you're paying premium wages for checkbox work. Build small teams, assign assistants early, and let them do more than you ever could alone.
A business only gets clear when everything in your head gets out of it. Strategic planning is really just moving the chaos from your mind onto paper. Once it's on paper, it becomes the boss. Then you work backwards from that to figure out what has to happen this quarter, this week, and today.
Links & Resources
Profit Tool Belt Podcast — search "Profit Tool Belt" on any podcast platform Cabinet Maker Profit System Podcast — https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cabinet-maker-profit-system-podcast/id1353937790 Dominic Rubino TEDx Talk: Family Inc — search "Dominic Rubino TEDx" on YouTube The Dad Edge Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/join Episode show notes and links — http://thedadedge.com/1483Closing
If Dominic's dinner table story hit you somewhere you weren't expecting, trust that feeling. That's the thing trying to get your attention. Whether you're building a business, grinding a W-2, or somewhere in the messy middle of trying to make a change, the time to put the wheels in motion is not someday — it's now. Share this episode with a business-owner dad in your life who needs to hear it. And if it moved you, take two minutes to leave a review and follow the show so we can keep bringing you conversations like this one. Go out and live legendary.
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Father Stephen Gadberry is a Catholic priest ordained in 2016 after a path that took him from a small family farm in the Arkansas Delta through the United States Air Force, a deployment to Iraq, and all the way to Rome to study philosophy and theology. He competed on American Ninja Warrior in 2018 and 2020, has worked alongside Bishop Robert Barron and Word on Fire, and currently serves at Saint Theresa Catholic Church and School in Little Rock, Arkansas.
In this conversation, Father Stephen opens up about losing his father and twelve-year-old sister in a car accident when he was just eight years old, how that tragedy shaped his understanding of duty and sacrifice, and what it felt like to receive his calling in the middle of a deployment in central Iraq. He is a hunter, archer, CrossFit athlete, knife maker, and musician who speaks about masculinity, suffering, and faith in a way that cuts through all the noise.
We also get into forgiveness in a way I have never heard anyone break it down before. Father Stephen uses the image of a plant to walk through the entire process of healing a broken relationship, from cultivating the soil, to planting the seed, to watching for weeds, to understanding why we pull back just when things start to feel close. It is pastoral counsel and practical wisdom at the same time.
This one hit me differently, guys. I am not kidding when I say I felt the weight of this conversation in my chest. If you have ever carried loss, wrestled with abandonment, or wondered how a man of deep faith actually lives out forgiveness in real time, this episode is for you.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Father Stephen and the host kick off by acknowledging this is take two, after a tech failure ended the first recording
[1:55] Father Stephen explains his two appearances on American Ninja Warrior in 2018 and 2020 and what he was really trying to do with the cameras
[4:20] The meaning behind the priest collar explained: white for speaking truth, black for death to self
[6:07] Why traditions are not a threat to faith and how they are already woven into every man's life whether he realizes it or not
[7:16] How the American Ninja Warrior exposure broke down barriers and gave people an entry point to seek pastoral help with marriages and personal struggles
[13:25] Host introduces Father Stephen's background: raised on an Arkansas farm, lost his father and older sister at age eight in a car accident, later served in the Air Force and deployed to Iraq
[17:22] Father Stephen describes the accident on May 5th, 1994, the deaths of his father and twelve-year-old sister, and how a young boy without comprehension of the full weight woke up every day and simply got it done
[23:11] Two weeks after the accident, his mother discovered she was pregnant with twins, and the family's response to impossible circumstances
[28:18] The Christmas delivery story: neighbors who brought gifts for the family after the accident and did it with enough grace and class that no one's dignity was taken
[33:14] Father Stephen recalls warming up the minivan for his mother on cold Arkansas mornings as a child, and why the small act reveals a lifelong orientation toward serving others before himself
[37:10] The story of how the calling to priesthood emerged during military service in Iraq, including a stranger at Mass who said, "You're thinking about being a priest, aren't you?"
[43:30] How Father Stephen submitted his early separation paperwork from the Air Force and received approval in under two weeks, something that ordinarily takes months
[46:30] The host shares his own story of his biological father leaving twice and reconnecting at age thirty, and asks Father Stephen about what it means to forgive at 98% but still carry that last 2%
[52:07] The plant image of forgiveness: cultivating the soil, planting the seed, watching for weeds, and understanding that pulling things up too soon or too often kills what is trying to grow
[1:00:54] Father Stephen helps the host understand the subconscious pull-back pattern that shows up in relationships after early abandonment and how to reframe those defense mechanisms rather than fight them
[1:07:13] Closing thoughts and the little way of Saint Thérèse: do small things with big love, over and over
Five Key Takeaways
Losing his father and sister at age eight did not break Father Stephen. It built in him a sense of duty and commitment so deep that he woke up every morning as a boy simply asking what needed to be done, and that orientation toward others before self became the foundation of everything he does as a priest.
Sharing your humanity, not just your credentials, is what gives people permission to bring you their real problems. Father Stephen's Ninja Warrior appearances did not grow his ministry by making him impressive. They grew it by making him approachable.
Forgiveness is not a moment. It is a plant. You cultivate the soil, you plant the seed at the right time in the right way, and then you let it sit. Going back every day to dig it up and see if it grew will kill it. The healing comes from doing the work and then having the patience to let it take root.
Keeping a small part of unforgiveness is not a failure. It is memory. It is what tells you how to water the plant going forward, what burned it before, and what it needs to stay alive now. Forgetting is not the goal. Learning is.
The soul remembers what hurt it, and sometimes that shows up as pulling back right when something good is getting close. That is not sabotage. That is an old defense mechanism doing its job. The work is to recognize it, name it, and gently push its limits rather than either surrendering to it or shaming yourself for it.
Links & Resources
Follow Father Stephen on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/fatherstephenjgadberry Saint Theresa Catholic Church — https://www.sttheresalittlerock.org This Episode's Show Page — https://thedadedge.com/1484 Join the Dad Edge — https://thedadedge.com/join The Men's Forge — https://themensforge.comClosing
Father Stephen gave us something rare in this conversation: the kind of honesty that only comes from a man who has sat with real pain long enough to have something true to say about it. If the plant image of forgiveness resonated with you the way it hit me, share this episode with a man in your life who is carrying something heavy and does not have the language for it yet. And if you got something out of this one, please take a minute to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more dads and more men find this show.
Go out and live legendary.
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Jon Fogel is a parenting expert, pastor, published author, and PhD candidate who runs Whole Parent and Whole Parent Academy, a resource built around the psychology of parenting and discipline. He is the author of the bestselling book Punishment Free Parenting and a brand new children's book, Set My Feelings Free, which sold out nationwide before its second printing. He is a husband, father of four kids ranging from 18 months to nine years old, and somehow found time to install a toilet while his wife was in labor.
Jon has been a guest on The Dad Edge podcast twice before, and every single time he shows up, he leaves the room differently than he found it. This episode is a live Q&A inside the Alliance, and the questions the guys brought were real. Getting a spouse on the same page. The pendulum swing between authoritarian and checked-out. A five-year-old who looks you dead in the eye before he does the wrong thing on purpose. And the hard one: what happens when your son won't respond to you the way he responds to his mom.
Jon's framework is grounded in brain science and developmental psychology, and the thing that keeps hitting you as you listen is how much of what we were taught about discipline actually works against us. The reason kids shut down when we raise our voices is the same reason our partners shut down when we raise our voices. The reason kids push boundaries is not defiance. It's development. The reason your son runs to mom and not to you is not a reflection of your worth as a father. It's evolution.
If you're a dad who's been doing the work but still feels like something is off in how your kids or your partner respond to you, this episode is going to give you clarity in places you didn't expect to find it.
Timeline Summary
[1:01] Host introduces Jon Fogel for his third appearance, covering his role as a parenting expert, author, PhD candidate, and founder of Whole Parent Academy
[2:05] Jon describes his book Punishment Free Parenting, its bestseller status, and explains that 99% of the book is about what to do instead of punishing
[3:42] Jon's newest children's book Set My Feelings Free is sold out nationwide, with a second printing arriving May 20th
[4:02] First question from Rich: how to get a spouse on the same page when parenting backgrounds and styles are very different
[5:29] Jon explains why you should never try to correct a partner's parenting in the moment, and why the same brain science that applies to kids applies to adults
[8:11] Jon introduces the H.E.A.R. framework from Harvard for conflict resolution: Hedge, Emphasize agreement, Acknowledge perspective, Reframe to the positive
[10:55] Jon walks through each step of H.E.A.R. practically, showing how removing defensiveness creates space for the other person to move without feeling wrong
[14:07] Jon adds a bonus tactic: developing a safe word with your partner as a mutual tap-out when someone is getting too heated to parent effectively
[17:56] Second question from Chris: the pendulum swing between strict and disengaged, and why so many parents default to one or the other
[19:16] Jon reframes the boundary concept using the backyard fence metaphor: boundaries are not restrictions, they are the only structure that gives a child real freedom
[27:17] Third question: a five-year-old who deliberately pushes boundaries and throws food. Jon explains the difference between punishments, natural consequences, and logical consequences
[30:50] Jon explains that boundary-pushing at five is a developmental need, not defiance, and offers a practical redirection strategy using a popcorn bowl at dinner
[35:15] Anonymous question: son responds to mom and shuts down with dad. Jon addresses attachment hierarchy, enmeshment concerns, and why parents should largely stop parenting together
[40:10] Jon explains the science of attachment hierarchy and how kids are hardwired to default to one parent under threat. He clarifies that being second in the hierarchy does not mean you are failing
[44:46] Jon shares resources: Punishment Free Parenting, the children's book Set My Feelings Free, The Whole Parent Podcast, and an in-person event in Chicago on May 21st
Five Key Takeaways
The worst time to correct your partner's parenting is in the moment it's happening. The same science that tells us not to discipline a dysregulated child applies directly to adults. Wait for calm, get curious about the trigger, and then use the H.E.A.R. framework to address it without creating more defensiveness than you started with.
Boundaries are not restrictions. They are the structure that gives your child real freedom. A kid without clear boundaries does not feel free. They feel unsafe. The backyard fence metaphor Jon uses is worth sitting with: your job is to build the fence in the right place, not to police what happens inside it.
A five-year-old who looks you in the eye before doing something he knows you don't want is not being defiant. He is developing. At that age, differentiation is a biological need, and the act of doing something dad doesn't want is how he practices becoming his own person. Understanding that changes how you respond.
If your son responds better to his mom than to you, that is not an indictment of who you are as a father. Attachment hierarchy is hardwired and evolutionary. The solution is not to compete with mom in the room. It is to build a relationship with your son when she is not there.
Kids who do not have their need for autonomy met will meet that need in ways you will not like. Whether it is food at the dinner table, video games at 13, or behavior that seems to come out of nowhere, the question worth asking is: where else in his day does he get to make his own choices?
Links & Resources
Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel — https://a.co/d/0hdOkJZl Set My Feelings Free (children's book) — second printing available May 20th In-person Chicago event with Jon Fogel and Eli Harwood — May 21st, downtown Chicago How to Deal With Your Shirt So Your Kids Don't Have to by Eli Harwood The Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/soulmates The Men's Forge — http://themensforge.com/ Shownotes: http://thedadedge.com/1485Closing
The question about attachment hierarchy near the end of this one is going to stay with me for a while. The image of your kid running toward one parent without thinking, faster than conscious thought, because their brain is trying to survive a threat — and knowing that which parent they run to has nothing to do with how hard you've worked or how much you love them — that's both humbling and freeing at the same time. Jon said it plainly: being in second place means you're in first place when the other person isn't there. Do the work. Show up. Take the alone time with your kids and build what only you can build with them. Go out and live legendary.
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In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Georgine Nanos — board certified family physician, founder of Kind Health Group and Kind TMS, and the first clinician in the world to successfully condense the 40-day TMS protocol into a single day.
TMS stands for transcranial magnetic stimulation. It's been FDA approved since 2008, has no long-term side effects, and uses magnetic field energy to create new synaptic pathways in the part of the brain where anxiety, depression, and PTSD get locked into negative stress loops. The Stanford trial that condensed it from 40 days to five days got a 90% response rate. Dr. Nanos condensed it further — to a single 12-hour day — and got the same results.
But this is not just a clinical episode. We talk about why men specifically have such a hard time reaching out, why burnout is a perfectly valid reason to pursue this, why the cop from the Bay Area who couldn't be present for his kids started playing drums again a month after treatment, and why the family almost always sees the improvement before the patient does.
Dr. Nanos also gets personal — she has mild anxiety and insomnia, was skeptical when she first tried TMS on herself, and has now done it multiple times since. Her kids describe her as chill. She credits the machine.
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities
[1:03] What TMS is — transcranial magnetic stimulation, FDA approved for 18 years, not electric shock therapy
[2:38] How negative stress loops form in the brain — and how TMS creates new synaptic pathways around them
[5:41] The difference between TMS and ECT — why TMS was born and why ECT is the last resort
[6:59] Why TMS hasn't gone mainstream — 40 days, insurance barriers, and older devices that were uncomfortable
[8:11] Stanford condenses it to five days and gets a 90% response rate — then Dr. Nanos condenses it to one
[10:05] The single-day protocol study — 34 patients, same results as Stanford, now being studied at UCLA and Harvard
[12:16] Response rate vs. remission — what the clinical measurements actually mean
[14:47] Introducing Dr. Nanos — Kind Health Group, Kind TMS, and refusing to stay inside the lines of traditional medicine
[17:15] What the experience actually feels like — comfortable table, dim lights, binaural beats, light tapping on the skull
[24:00] Why medication is only 40-50% effective for depression — and why TMS is a more targeted approach
[28:01] Men and mental health — the walk of shame, the fear of looking broken, and why burnout is a valid reason to come in
[30:44] High-functioning people at their last straw — midlife, peak career, aging parents, hormonal shifts, and the perfect storm
[31:40] What patients feel after the 12-hour day — tired, then slow incremental change, sleep improves first
[33:41] The Marine Corps veteran who felt agitated around his kids — and what changed after TMS
[35:58] TMS is scaffolding, not a silver bullet — you still have to do the climbing
[39:22] Who is a candidate — ages ten into their 90s, autism spectrum, teens, veterans, first responders
[43:25] The cop from the Bay Area — Iraq War veteran, suicide attempt in his past, couldn't be present for his kids
[45:23] He got the band back together — and his wife saw the change before he did
[47:27] What happens when patients relapse — booster sessions, obsessive follow up, and a year of ongoing care
[49:07] Insurance only covers the 40-day protocol — and only after failing 3-4 medications
[51:06] The price point — $12,000 for the full year of care including financing options and veteran programs
[54:07] Dr. Nanos did TMS on herself — skeptical at first, now does booster sessions every 6-7 months
Five Key Takeaways
TMS is not electric shock therapy. It is safe, FDA approved, has no long-term side effects, and has been around for 40 years. Most men have simply never heard of it. You do not have to be in a mental health crisis to benefit from TMS. High-functioning men who feel flat, burned out, or not quite like themselves are exactly who this was designed for. Burnout is a brain state, not a character flaw. The negative stress loops that build up over years of pressure, peak career, and family demands can be addressed — and the first thing that tends to improve is sleep. TMS is scaffolding, not a silver bullet. It gives you the pathways to climb out of the hole. But you still have to do the work — therapy, exercise, and the lifestyle habits that keep the pathways open. The people around you will see the change before you do. The cop's wife saw his improvement first. Dr. Nanos's kids noticed before she did. Your family is watching — and they want their dad back.Links & Resources
Dad Edge Business Boardroom — June 1st cohort, applications open through May 31st: http://thedadedge.com/boardroom Kind Minds TMS website: https://kindmindstms.com Kind Health Group: https://kindhealthgroup.com Follow Dr. Nanos on Instagram: @drgeorginenanos Kind Minds TMS on Instagram: @kindmindstms Call Kind Minds TMS/ Kind Health Group directly: (760) 701-5463 Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1482): https://thedadedge.com/1482Closing
If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you do not have to keep white-knuckling it through life.
The cop from the Bay Area was drowning in silence — a past suicide attempt, a demanding job, young kids, aging parents, and nowhere to put any of it. One month after treatment, he's playing drums again. His wife sees it. His kids feel it.
That is what is possible when a man stops waiting until it gets bad enough and starts asking what getting better actually looks like.
Go out and live legendary.
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In this episode, I sit down with Lee Benson — entrepreneur, founder of eight companies, former CEO of Abel Aerospace (which he grew from 2 to 500 employees serving customers in 60 countries before a nine-figure exit in 2016), and now CEO of Dinner Table, a free global community of over 40,000 parents from 67 countries built around one idea: teaching families how to intentionally create value together.
Lee's story starts where most don't — kicked out of his house at 18 with his clothes in paper grocery bags, a car he bought himself, a job cooking at Coco's, and a credit card debt his parents had secretly run up in his name. He went from negative zero to building one of the most successful aerospace companies in the country. And he has spent the last decade trying to figure out how to give every family — especially the ones starting from nothing — the framework that changes everything.
We get into the monthly family meeting, what it actually covers, and why giving every member of the family — including the six-year-old — a job and a line item in the budget changes behavior almost instantly. We talk about finding your kids' value creation superpowers, what it means to show up with someone's potential instead of their performance, and why Lee's business partner Jack Welch was one of only two people in his entire life who ever made him feel that way.
And Lee drops one of the most clarifying lines this show has ever heard: I believe in unconditional love. I do not believe in unconditional relationships.
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities
[1:03] Kicked out at 18 — paper bags on the patio, locks changed, one night in a Chevy Blazer
[2:19] The credit cards his parents ran up in his name — and why he paid them off instead of turning them in
[3:46] Generational dysfunction, siblings lost in it, and why unconditional love does not mean unconditional relationships
[5:17] Why being kicked out may have been the best thing that ever happened to him
[8:11] Building a chosen family — 40-plus years later, one of his "kids" is staying at his house with his own family
[10:06] The rules of engagement — how Lee maintains relationships with difficult family members without enabling them
[15:52] Introducing Lee — Abel Aerospace, nine-figure exit, and now CEO of Dinner Table
[17:18] The monthly family meeting — family goals, everybody's job, budget review, and what it means to be a leader in the family
[20:17] Giving the six-year-old a line item in the budget — and what happened when the kids saw how much Dutch Brothers was costing
[21:34] If there's money left over, the kids decide where it goes — including Yellowstone with no technology for a week
[22:14] The one-on-one meeting with each kid — how would you like to create value in the world?
[25:31] Why Lee calls it a huddle instead of a meeting — and how language changes everything
[27:50] The nine-year-old who looked up and said "I have a job for the family" — with pride
[28:52] The two people in Lee's entire life who showed up with his potential — and why that is so rare
[30:20] Larry's version — the mentor who always referenced Larry 1.0 vs. Larry 2.0 behavior
[33:01] How to ask a ten-year-old about value creation without losing them — and what to do with "I like video games"
[39:16] Three types of struggle — normal and healthy, struggle that needs support, and struggle to avoid entirely
[48:32] The mom whose three boys cook dinner six nights a week — and why that one job changed everything for her
[51:26] The difference between adding value and creating value — and why that distinction matters for your kids
[56:06] What we say vs. what we model — and why cutting yourself down in front of your kids cancels every "you can be anything" you've ever said
Five Key Takeaways
I believe in unconditional love. I do not believe in unconditional relationships. Love without limits does not mean relationships without rules of engagement — and confusing the two enables the very behavior you're trying to change. The monthly family meeting changes behavior almost instantly. When kids have a job for the family, a line item in the budget, and a seat at the table — they stop needing to be told ten times. They're already in. Show up with your kid's potential, not their current performance. The two people Lee remembers most weren't impressed by his resume. They saw what he could become. That's the standard. What you say and what you model are two completely different messages. If you tell your kids they can be anything and then cut yourself down in front of them, they are listening to your actions — not your words. Value creation is a family sport. The earlier you start the conversation — what are your interests, how do you want to show up in the world, what does it mean to be a leader in this family — the more momentum your kids build on their own before they leave home.Links & Resources
Dad Edge Business Boardroom — June 1st cohort, applications open May 21–31: http://thedadedge.com/boardroom Value Creation Family by Lee Benson: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Creation-Family-Playbook-Setting/dp/1636805981 Dinner Table community (free, 40,000+ parents, 67 countries): https://dinnertable.com Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1480): https://thedadedge.com/1480Closing
If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you can start from anywhere and go everywhere — but only if your belief system allows it.
Lee Benson started from negative zero. No father. A toxic home. Credit card debt in his name before he ever had a job. And he built something extraordinary — not because he had a blueprint, but because he believed a different future was possible and did the work to build it.
Now he's building that blueprint for everyone else. One family meeting at a time.
Go out and live legendary.
- Visa fler
