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It is a weird world out there right now, and if you’re like me, you’re feeling more than a little anxious. Anxiety has been called the mental illness of our time, but in fact, it’s not a mental illness. It’s an understandable reaction to an abnormal world that we never evolved to handle.
As I’ve written in my book Beyond Anxiety and talked about at length, creativity is the opposite of that anxiety. However, there’s a crucial step you must take to go from anxiety to creativity, and you cannot skip it. That step is kindness.
Kindness is the greatest creative fuel in human existence, and in this episode of The Gathering Room, I’m sharing the 5-step exercise I follow to cultivate kindness toward myself, get out of anxiety, and generate creativity and joy.
In fact, for the first time ever on The Gathering Room, I’m recommending that you bring a pencil and paper and work through this exercise with me. It’s fun—and powerfully effective.
You start by identifying and acknowledging your negative feelings, whether you’re feeling anxiety, anger, sorrow, or something else. Imagine the part of yourself that is feeling this way as a separate entity, and you are the compassionate observer.
Ask this part of yourself how it’s feeling, and then offer this three-word phrase, which is probably the most powerful thing you can do to heal yourself or another human being:
“Tell me everything.”
The vast majority of people, including our inner parts, just want someone to sit with them and witness what’s going on inside them. And this act of kindness—of listening—gives a place for the pain to flow.
Every time you make the choice to be kind to yourself, you are creating a whole new brain that is going to be a lot happier and more creative. This will lead you to the one way that you can create beauty that no one else ever could, your unique contribution to the world.
To work through the full five-step kindness exercise with me, be sure to tune in for the full episode. I’ll also guide you through my Space, Silence, and Stillness meditation as that is one kind thing I often give myself when I’m in an anxious place.CONNECT WITH US
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In this episode of The Gathering Room podcast, I’m talking about the power of inspiration and how we can actively go “hunting” for it amidst the sea of misinformation and disinformation we all have to navigate each day.
To learn more about actively hunting for inspiration and how it can help you create positive change in the world, join me for the full episode!
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Did you know that until you are truly compassionate to yourself, you can’t be compassionate to any other person?
In Episode #192 of The Gathering Room, I’m talking about building compassionate communities—and how a safe, loving, mutually supportive community is probably the most important thing we can ever have, especially during chaotic times.
I’ve been reading my way through all the skills that make you a good community creator, and one of my favorites is the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, who talks about creating community by first becoming your own good company.
We have such an individualistic, fragmenting society where we’re always pitted against each other in competition, but we long to experience moments of beautiful company where everyone feels lifted by everyone else. This kind of community is a basic human need.
Marshall Rosenberg says that everything we do is trying to meet our basic needs, and we go off course by trying to meet our needs with things that don’t work. He describes bringing ourselves into that sense of loving community by following a few basic steps:
* Identify any “mistakes” or behaviors you’re upset with yourself about.
* Notice any shaming language you use around those behaviors (words like “should”).
* Understand the need you were trying to meet with those behaviors.
* Allow yourself to mourn the fact that what you tried didn’t work.
Then, if you can empathize with the part of yourself that was trying to get a need met in an ill-advised way, there’s a kind of embrace that happens automatically—and in that embrace is forgiveness.
That’s when, within yourself, you have all of your parts, including what I call the “compassionate witness.” There are all the parts who’ve been trying so hard, and everyone is empathizing with everyone else. There is mutual forgiveness for everything you ever thought you did wrong, and no one is being blamed. That’s the way into being your own best company.
And from there on, Marshall Rosenberg tells us, everything is play.
To find out more about forgiving yourself, becoming your own best company, and creating supportive, compassionate communities, tune in for the full episode. I’ll also guide you through my Space, Silence, and Stillness meditation with a special focus on bringing your inner collective into loving harmony. Join me!CONNECT WITH US
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As I’m sure you’re keenly aware, people are extremely divided these days. From our politics, to our attitudes, to our ways of speaking about others, we are growing more and more polarized—and mutually destructive.
On this episode of The Gathering Room podcast, I’m talking about how upset many of us feel, why that upset is not always coming from a place we can trust, and what we can do about it.
Once upon a time, they invented something called the internet. And on the internet, social media began to play out. And these platforms soon figured out that we pay more attention to things that upset us, so they started feeding us more and more upsetting content.
Because we evolved to be social creatures who are super susceptible to group influence, we’re basically hardwired to want to agree with the group, even if it means pretending to see things differently than we actually do.
Add all that evolutionary and psychological background to social media, and you soon get social media algorithms that keep us online by stoking constant outrage and fear.
We’re terrified of being bullied and looking for people to back us up, so we consume more and more information that’s designed to upset us. Then we lash out in a way that feels like self-defense, but it looks to other people like we’re attacking them. It’s a vicious cycle where everyone feels attacked by everyone else.
A lot of us feel vulnerable and outraged and afraid of the future and of other people right now. It’s been so exaggerated by our media and our social media that we’ve lost our sense of truth in all of this. And when you get people off their basic sense of truth, they will do almost anything. They will attack other people and leave their own ethics in the dust. When you lose your sense of truth, suddenly everything bobs and sways and there’s nothing real to stand on.
Everything is spinning and slanting and trying to get you to feel a certain way, but the only feeling that you can really build a life on is peace.
So, how can you get to peace in an increasingly polarized world?
Find out on this episode of The Gathering Room, where I’ll share the one statement I’ve found to be most grounding and true, how to make peace your primary goal in all interactions, and how peace can give you the strength and clarity you need to navigate life’s challenges.
We’ll also do our guided Space, Silence, and Stillness meditation to recalibrate ourselves toward clear minds, quiet hearts, and peace. Join me!CONNECT WITH US
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When I was writing Beyond Anxiety, I wanted to find a good metaphor for building a life that you love within the cultural bounds of wherever you are and still stay sane. And I thought about crazy quilting!
If you are a quilter, you know that crazy quilting is not the same as ordinary quilting. Ordinary quilting starts with a pattern that is carefully drawn out, and then the quilter sews together panels that follow that pattern. With crazy quilting, you start with a scrap of fabric you love, and you sew another piece to it and then another and another, around and around in a spiral, until there’s a large enough piece of cloth that you can call a quilt.
And I was thinking: That’s sort of how you can make a life, too.
In this episode of The Gathering Room, I’m talking about what I call “sanity quilting” and offering up some practical advice for maintaining your mental well-being during turbulent times.
Like crazy quilting, sanity quilting involves building a life out of the things you love in order to stay peaceful, calm, inspired, and sane.
In the quilt that is your time—your whole life—most of us are taught to follow the patterns set by our culture: Get a job, get a relationship, have a family, buy a house, etc.
However, for me, it’s always been much more interesting to say, “What do I love most?” and put that at the center of my quilt. Then I put things that connect with it around the edges until I gradually fill up my time with things that I love. That’s the way I’ve lived my life.
The culture might view this as “crazy,” but I don’t think it’s not crazy to do what you love. What’s crazy is pushing what you love to the margins of your life—or even worse, never experiencing them at all.
Whenever the pattern of society that we thought we knew is being disrupted, it feels very confronting to a lot of people. At the times when everything around you feels like it’s going crazy, that’s when you must make a sanity quilt. And you do that in very quiet ways.
Join me for the full episode to learn more about stitching the things you love into your life, so you can cultivate peace, sanity, and calm during even the most challenging times.CONNECT WITH US
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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about wayfinding and how it can help us create what I call “the new consciousness,” which is both a state and a place that we can access. That’s what I’m talking about on this episode of The Gathering Room podcast—episode 189: Finding the Field.
The name of my Wayfinder Life Coach Training program was inspired by the wisdom of ancient “wayfinders”—people who had their own ways of navigating through whatever terrain they lived in, which is what I do as a life coach.
There is a scientist named Rupert Sheldrake who went wayfinding into the structure of the universe and came up with his theory of “morphic fields”—the idea that nature has memory, where similar patterns influence others across time and space.
So I was thinking, when we go wayfinding, we’re going toward a morphic field. And while I call it wayfinding, I never tell people exactly what they’re finding their way toward, only that whatever it is will lead them to their purpose.
My wayfinding techniques put you in a state where your mind becomes a sort of field of openness that can receive things that resonate with the space, silence, and stillness that’s holding us all in a matrix of love.
Going into the Self and finding your way using the “compasses” of your body, heart, mind, and spirit is how you will “wayfind” to the new consciousness—a collective shift in the way humans think, the way we process consciousness, and the way we use our consciousness.
To hear more about the new consciousness and how to access it (plus hear about my vivid encounters with the spirit of Dante Alighieri!), tune in for the full episode. You’ll also be able to join me for a guided group meditation devoted to those who are scared, suffering, or lonely.
Come meet me in the field.
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At long last, my book Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose has been released into the world!
In this episode of The Gathering Room—Episode #188: What Lies Beyond Anxiety?—I’m talking about the book and sharing some insights on overcoming anxiety through kindness, curiosity, and creativity.
What can I tell you about this book that I haven’t told you already? I’m glad you asked!
The book is divided into three parts: The Creature, The Creative, and The Creation. First you have to acknowledge that the anxious part of you is like a tiny scared animal, and you can’t use analysis or even medication to bash that little creature into a state of calm. You can only calm your creature by using kindness.
Once you’ve calmed your creature, you can tap into your creative brain by exploring what makes you curious. Once you start using the creative parts of your brain, you shift energy away from the anxious parts and form a different pattern in the brain.
Curiosity then leads us to creativity. Being in a panic is not a creative state and therefore can’t solve your problems—especially not problems you’ve never encountered before. For that, you’ve got to have creativity. Just remember to be gentle with yourself.
And remember that creativity isn’t limited to traditional artistic pursuits like painting, music, or dance. Cooking, conversation, birdwatching, rearranging furniture—these are all creative acts! In fact, just about everything we humans do is creative.
When we become creatively engaged with the world, we open our minds to the mysteries of existence. At this point, creation itself starts to play with us, like a mother dog with her puppies. We begin to notice synchronicities and feel a deep connection to the world around us.
In our online Wilder Community, we’re offering a year-long Deep Dive into Beyond Anxiety with monthly videos, live Q&As, and group discussions to really explore each chapter of the book.
To hear more about moving beyond anxiety through kindness, creativity, and openness to life’s mysteries, tune in for the full episode.CONNECT WITH US
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On this episode of The Gathering Room, special guest Gabby Bernstein joins Martha to talk about her newest book, Self Help: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life.
Martha and Gabby both love Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy—also known as “parts therapy”—and Gabby’s new book is all about making the principles of IFS Therapy accessible to everyone.
To learn more about IFS from Martha and Gabby—and for the chance to join Gabby and Martha in a transformative guided meditation—be sure to tune in!
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Culturally we tend to think of sensitivity as weakness, but Martha says that in fact, it’s a superpower!
In this episode of The Gathering Room, Episode #186: Using Your Powerful Sensitivity, she talks about how to appreciate your sensitivity and use it to create the life you’re meant to live.
By definition, sensitivity has to do with reacting strongly to very slight stimuli. As a result, our society has come to believe that it’s not a strong position to be highly sensitive, that such people are fragile.
What Martha has come to realize is that sensitivity is powerful, and sometimes it comes on powerfully. People who are highly sensitive may feel its power before other people do.
If you’re highly sensitive and you experience something wonderful, you actually have a strong uptick in your mood—and you may feel more wonderful than someone with lower sensitivities. But if an impulse comes in that you don’t understand, your brain might go into anxiety.
Martha says that the remedy for this anxiety is to check in with yourself by asking a series of questions: Is this physical? Is this mental? Is this emotional? Once you’ve checked in with body, mind, and heart, then you can realistically ground the sensation.
If your sensitivity is telling you that it’s none of those things, then you can safely assume it’s coming from a spiritual place.
Martha believes we’re in a really interesting, unprecedented landscape—politically, biologically, and ecologically—and we need to be guided. The way that guidance will come, especially to sensitive people, is through this unfamiliar stimulus that may feel weird and scary at first.
But as you start to explore what feels true, then the magic of the brain kicks in—your curiosity will bring you out of anxiety so your sensitivity can guide you exactly where you’re meant to go.As Martha says, “We are the ones who can start to lead our lives in the direction that our higher selves are signaling to us to go and potentially help a lot of other people whose sensitivities may not be quite as strong—and in this way we serve the world.”
To learn how to appreciate, listen to, and trust your powerful sensitivity, join Martha for the full episode, where she’ll also guide you in her grounding and calming Space, Stillness, and Silence meditation.
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Martha’s recent encounter with a flock of wild turkeys made her think about her relationship with wild animals and how they always seem to come when she calls them.
In this episode of The Gathering Room, Episode #185: Calling Yourself Home, she shares several stories of her incredible interactions with animals and how her steps for calling to them can also be used on the wild parts of yourself to “call them home.”
This can be especially helpful during times when you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or burned out. In Martha’s coaching experience, December is a particularly rough month for many people, and she herself feels scattered during this time.
Martha says the same technique she uses to call animals can be used to call in all the many parts of your Self, as if calling a flock of birds home to roost.
The first step, she says, is to be in complete integrity. This means telling yourself the truth. You have to track the parts of yourself that are unhappy or angry or fractious in some way and tell yourself the truth about them.
The second step is what Martha calls “centering presence” where you focus on a point in the center of your chest and imagine it filling with warm light. When you can feel the warmth, you’ll be able to breathe more deeply and start to relax.
Finally, she says to imagine each part of yourself—the scared parts, the flighty parts, the parts who are tired, the parts who don’t want to do things—and imagine them coming home to that point of warmth and light in your chest.
“Maybe they're wild turkeys that can come home to roost in the tree that's inside you,” Martha says. “Or maybe it's a whole murmuration of starlings that can come perch and go to sleep for the night together on an infinitely small branch in the center of your chest.”
If you have parts of yourself that need to feel healed and included and loved, be sure to join Martha for the full episode. She’ll lead you in her Space, Stillness, and Silence meditation and help you call all the scattered parts of yourself home to rest.
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Our culture generally teaches us that anxiety will keep us safe—but really it’s our intuition that does that. In this episode of The Gathering Room—Episode #184: How to Access Intuition When You Really Need It, Martha talks about how to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition and how to hear what your intuition is trying to tell you.
There’s something Martha calls the “sense of truth,” which is a feeling of concord, peace, and calm that comes into us when we believe something that feels true at the deepest levels of the self. It’s trusting that whatever we’re believing at that moment is actually real.
“It turns out that a lot of the things we are anxious about are not real—not yet,” Martha says. “They’re potential, but they’re not real in this moment.”
Unlike fear, which is a rational response to a clear and present danger, anxiety is a chronic, suffering sense of being afraid of things that may not ever happen.
Martha says that one of the lies anxiety will always tell you is that only by staying anxious can you be safe—because when you’re not anxious, you’re not alert. However, exactly the opposite is true: People who are anxious can’t stay alert.
Real intuition arrives when our anxiety is quiet. So many of us are walking around constantly anxious, thinking we’re alert, thinking we can trust our intuition, when in fact, we’re blotting out our intuition with anxiety.
To access intuition, we have to go into a state of stillness and peace and then listen for the fun—that’s the state of being where your intuition can talk to you.
“Your intuition can come in the goofiest, most wonderful ways,” Martha says, “once you realize it’s meant to be a frequency of joy and never a frequency of anxiety.”
To learn more about listening to your intuition and finding its frequency of joy—and to join Martha in her anxiety-relieving Silence, Space, and Stillness meditation—be sure to tune in for the full episode!
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The state of the world right now is unnerving. In this episode of The Gathering Room, she shares how we can start to heal the parts of us that are in pain or despair over the state of things.
Martha says that when we experience trauma, shock, fear, or loss, our psyches can split into different parts to help us cope. To heal this loss of integrity or wholeness, we need to unite all the parts of ourselves that are hurting. And we do this by loving them unconditionally.
In this episode, Martha walks us through a powerful visualization exercise to help us access our deepest capacity for love, hope, and joy, so we can welcome the suffering parts of ourselves to “be warmed by the fire of love.”
As she describes it, “We have to come together as individuals held by the intelligence of nature, by the consciousness of the universe.”
When we can love all the different parts of ourselves, including our sorrow, our fear, our anger, we can love the people around us. And when that happens, vibrant communities begin to form—like Wilder, the “sanctuary for the bewildered” that Martha created with Rowan Mangan.
As Martha shares, “Everything I’ve seen online from the people I respect most, whether they’re politically savvy people or psychologists or community organizers, everybody’s saying the same thing: ‘Join something. Connect, connect, connect.’”
Shock, overwhelm, fear, and rage are ameliorated as we connect with others who are feeling the same way. And this coming together of the shards of all of us could be what creates the calm beyond the storm.
If you’re feeling devastated or uncertain, isolated or afraid, and you want to learn how to let faith, love, and hope guide you to connection and the next right step, don’t miss this reassuring episode of The Gathering Room.
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Did you know that the right hemisphere of your brain is doing supercomputer-level processing all the time, whether you’re aware of it or not?
Wild, right? Martha calls the right hemisphere “the magician” because it can come up with the most amazing, brilliant solutions to very difficult problems, seemingly out of thin air.
In this episode of The Gathering Room: Awakening Your Magician, Martha talks about how we can activate our highly creative right hemispheres, so we can solve the problems in our lives—and in the world.
And the best part is, reawakening your own creative genius can actually be a lot of fun!
To learn how to use Martha’s 4 C’s (calm, curiosity, courage, and feeling cornered) to rev up your right hemisphere and start solving problems as if by magic, tune in to this fascinating episode, which also includes Martha’s Space, Stillness, and Silence meditation.CONNECT WITH US
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In this Gathering Room, Martha talks about the “heart healer” within every person. When we’re heartsick, this is the only thing that heals us. Learn how to access your own heart healer in this very popular episode! (Originally aired: January 15, 2023)
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We're not trained to think of a spiritually led life as being hilarious or silly or goofy. But as Martha reminds us, laughter is the beginning of prayer.
In this episode of The Gathering Pod: Letting the Force Steer Your Life, she talks about the difference between spiritual faith and religious faith, and how to connect with and trust spiritual energy (aka the Force) to guide you.
When you do, you’ll be in for some truly delightful surprises!
As Martha puts it, “The universe is not your butler. The universe is a continuous aspect of your consciousness that loves for you to play with it.” Listen to the full episode to hear some incredibly fun stories about manifesting with integrity, learn more about the overlap between play and spirit, and participate in Martha’s guided Space, Stillness, and Silence meditation.CONNECT WITH US
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Some people have a bullseye picture of their purpose in life and are headed straight toward it. However, this is extremely rare.
Why?
Martha says it’s because we live in a culture dominated by left-hemisphere thinking, which pulls us toward anxiety and socializes us to do as we’re told and acquire material wealth.
In this episode of The Gathering Room podcast, Martha talks about following your curiosity to activate the right side of the brain, which is where our passion lives. And our passion is what leads us to our life’s purpose.
If you want to start looking for things that draw your attention (rather than push yourself toward the things you think you should do), and you’re ready to prepare yourself to follow your curiosity wherever it leads, tune in to the full episode—it may contain just the spark you need!CONNECT WITH US
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In this episode of The Gathering Room, you’ll learn how little you really have to do. If you think that sounds too easy, change what you think, not what you do. Come see how! (Originally aired: January 8, 2023)
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Is there something you’re trying to get done? Something you really, really want, but you're struggling?
While our culture teaches us to “never give up the struggle,” in this episode of The Gathering Room, Martha is talking about how taking breaks and allowing for rest can lead to unexpected improvements and breakthroughs.
As many Gatherers know, Martha’s been working on watercolor painting for months now, and she finds it extremely challenging. Recently she had to take a break from it, and when she finally got back to her easel, something strange happened… Her hand just knew what to do!
As Martha describes it:
“It was like everything I’d been experimenting with had sunk into my nervous system. And actually, when the brain learns a new skill, especially if it learns playfully, it does start on the top of your brain and then it literally sinks in. The more you do it, the more it goes down toward the core of your brain, and you get better and better at it. And it doesn't feel like it’s you doing it anymore—it feels like magic.”
If you’d like to learn how to get the kind of rest that leads to magical breakthroughs—Martha’s favorite ways include sleep, laughter, puzzle-cracking, and more—be sure to listen to the full episode. You’ll also be able to take a restful break as she leads you in her favorite meditation.
Don’t miss it!CONNECT WITH US
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Have you been struggling to climb pyramids of power, education, wealth, or anything else our culture teaches us to value? Are you ready to find (or return to) your true nature instead?
In this episode of The Gathering Room, Martha is talking about the importance of “be-wilder-ing” ourselves and the transformative power of making authentic connections.
She says that if we can get far enough from society's rules and be willing to break them in some ways—and also be willing to look deeply within ourselves—we will go back to what nature wants us to be.
If we can find our true selves, there's only one task we need to save the world, and that task is three simple words: “Find the others.” With her brand-new online community, Wilder, Martha feels even closer to fulfilling that mission!
As she tells us, the technology we now have for gathering together is a tool in the hands of the Divine, and with the Wilder Community, it has evolved into a kind of wild space where we can become ourselves and find the others.
If you can go wild, you will find where you're meant to be—where there’s nowhere to go and nothing to strive for, but everything to love, enjoy, experience, and savor.
“That's why we're here,” Martha says. “We are here to enjoy this world.”
To learn more about finding and embracing your true nature, connecting with others, and using your integrity to navigate life's challenges—and also hear about Martha’s exciting experiences in the Wilder community—be sure to tune in!
Martha also shares book recommendations, answers listener questions, and leads you in her Space, Silence, and Stillness meditation, emphasizing human imagination and its potential to create positive change in the world. Don’t miss it!CONNECT WITH US
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There are times when really important things are happening, and we really care about the results. At such times, it’s hard not to get stuck in that awful place between hope and fear.
In this episode of The Gathering Room, Martha is talking about how hope and fear are on the same continuum. The moment you get attached to a hope, you’re also afraid it won't happen. And the moment you’re afraid of something happening, you also hope that it won’t.
As it says in Martha’s favorite book, the Tao Te Ching, “Hope is as hollow as fear. Whether you go up the ladder or down, your position is shaky. When you stand with your two feet on the ground, you will always keep your balance.”
Hope and fear are fundamentally future directed, Martha says, so to get off this shaky ladder and plant your feet on the ground, you must bring yourself to the present moment by practicing mindfulness and equanimity.
When we are mindful, we are fully present and aware of our surroundings and sensations, and with equanimity, we can maintain a calm state of mind, regardless of challenges.
To hear Martha’s insights on how to step off the shaky ladder, ground yourself in the present moment, and mother yourself during difficult times, don’t miss this encouraging episode, which includes Martha’s guided meditation to connect with peace, compassion, and joy.CONNECT WITH US
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- Visa fler
