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Alexandra Carter is a world-renowned negotiator, best-selling author of Ask for More: Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything, and Clinical Professor of Law and Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School.
In this episode, Professor Cater and Dr. Paryavi discuss how negotiation applies to every aspect of our lives and leadership. They share insights on how to ask for more from negotiation to promote expansion and value creation for all, and become more effective negotiators to improve our lives and our world.
EPISODE 10 NOTES FROM MALIHEH PARYAVI, PHD“You can never be truly lost in life. Find comfort in knowing that each step you take, each path you turn down, is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Trust your journey. Everything works out the way it’s supposed to.” - Alexandra Carter
When I stumbled upon this quote in one of Alex’s social media posts, I had a feeling that Alex and I we may be very aligned. I’m so grateful that I trusted that feeling, reached out to her, and that she accepted my invitation to join me on the podcast! We had so much fun connecting and sharing in this episode. Truly, everything does work out the way it’s supposed to as I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect guest to wrap up this first season of the podcast with. In fact, when I look back at the previous episodes, all of my guests have had to “ask for more” and negotiate their way to where they are in their lives and careers as pioneers and change-makers. And in this episode, Alex and I share our insights about how you can do the same. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
01:12 - The importance of negotiation in leading fully empowered and authentic lives
08:02 - What does “Ask for More” really mean?
09:17 - The key to a great negotiation: connecting with ourselves first
11:08 - The importance of connecting with our needs
17:37 - Taking life and negotiations one small step at a time
22:40 - Advice on getting through times of stress
25:00 - Not everything needs to be up for negotiation: knowing and setting your boundaries
26:55 - How connecting with our humanity may help us see the humanity in others and reduce global conflicts
29:22 - Core strategies for negotiating directly with others
35:11 - The importance of observation and deep listening
39:40 - The three key mindset shifts that are needed to ask for more
45:38 - How asking for more applies to gender equality
48:22 - Asking for more by reimagining and redesigning our post-pandemic world
54:00 - The importance of developing our “mediation capacity” to create lasting change
57:55 - Alex’s inspiring journey and how she found her calling
01:02:42 - On trusting the process and the joy of soulful connection
MORE ABOUT ALEXANDRA CARTERAlex is a Clinical Professor of Law and Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School. She has spent the last eleven years helping thousands of people negotiate better, build relationships and reach their goals. In 2019, Alex was awarded the Columbia University Presidential Award for Outstanding Teaching, Columbia University’s highest teaching honor.
Alex believes that negotiation is for everyone. She is a world-renowned negotiation trainer for groups and individuals from all over the world—including the United Nations, Fortune 100 companies, the U.S. government, foreign governments, not-for-profit organizations, universities and private law firms. Through the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School, Alex and her students provide free conflict resolution services and training to many people and organizations who otherwise would not be able to afford it.
Prior to joining the Columbia faculty, Alex was associated with Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP. She also worked at Goldman Sachs in the Principal Investment Area. She spent a year in Taipei, Taiwan as a U.S. Fulbright Scholar.
Alex received her Juris Doctor degree in 2003 from Columbia Law School, where she earned James Kent and Harlan Fiske Stone academic honors. She won the Jane Marks Murphy Prize for her mediation work and the Lawrence S. Greenbaum Prize for oral advocacy. She graduated cum laude from Georgetown University, where she won the Lena Landegger community service award.
Her first book, Ask for More: Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything, was published May 5th by Simon & Schuster and became an instant Wall Street Journal bestseller — the first negotiation book solo-authored by a woman to make that list.
Alex lives in Maplewood, New Jersey, with her husband Greg and their daughter Caroline. In her spare time, she enjoys cooking and practicing yoga.
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Tina Tchen is the president and CEO of TIME’S UP Now and TIME’S UP Foundation, Co-Chair of the United State of Women, and former assistant to President Barack Obama, executive director of the White House Council on Women and Girls, and chief of staff to First Lady Michelle Obama.
In this episode, Ms. Tchen and Dr. Paryavi discuss the state of women’s safety and equality in the workplace, and share advice on how to build a world where workplaces are safe, fair, and dignified for all. Ms. Tchen also shares powerful insights from her own leadership journey.
Episode 9 Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
Sexual harassment is pervasive across industries. None of us are immune and the odds are that you or someone you know has been impacted by sexual harassment in the workplace. In fact, according to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), up to 85 percent of women in the United States report having experienced sexual harassment at work. Most of these incidents go unreported and a new Time’s Up report shows that more than 70 percent of survivors who do speak out face subsequent retaliation.
These alarming statistics are symptoms of deep structural inequalities and the time has come to face them head-on and make lasting changes, once and for all. We each have a role to play, and to get advice on how we can make these changes, I had the honor of speaking with Tina Tchen on this episode. She is at the helm of TIME’S UP Now and the TIME’S UP Foundation, working to build a world where workplaces are safe, fair, and dignified for all women. She shares her inspiring journey as a trailblazer, her advice for employers, women leaders, and men in leadership, and her insights on how we can all join the efforts in ensuring women’s safety in the workplace. Please tune in and join us!
Episode Breakdown:
01:03 - The many forms of sexual harassment in the workplace
04:51 - The importance of including women in all aspects and levels of the workplace
10:06 - Ms. Tchen’s leadership journey to the White House and to TIME'S UP
14:59 - The impact of the pandemic on women’s employment and the workforce
16:24 - The historical opportunity we have to create lasting change NOW
19:14 - Advice for young women and women leaders
26:26 - Exploring the root causes of sexual harassment and retaliation in the workplace
32:16 - Shifting the culture and perceptions of gender roles and women in leadership
37:51 - Safety on college campuses
41:56 - Changing organizational cultures worldwide
45:02 - Advice for employers, including a powerful message from a survivor of workplace sexual harassment
48:42 - Advice for men in leadership
51:53 - Vision for TIME'S UP going forward and how we can all get involved
MORE ABOUT TINA TCHEN:Tina Tchen serves as president and CEO of TIME’S UP Now and the TIME’S UP Foundation, overseeing the organizations’ strategic plans to change culture, companies, and laws in order to make work safe, fair, and dignified for women of all kinds. In 2017, Tina co-founded the TIME’S UP Legal Defense Fund with Robbie Kaplan, Fatima Goss Graves, and Hilary Rosen; since then, the Fund has connected thousands of people to legal or PR support for sexual harassment across dozens of different industries.
A former assistant to President Barack Obama, executive director of the White House Council on Women and Girls, and chief of staff to First Lady Michelle Obama, Tina has worked to advance gender equality, particularly for working women. At the White House, Tina spearheaded the first-ever White House Summit on Working Families and helped form the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault.
Prior to taking the helm at TIME’S UP, Tina was a lawyer specializing in workplace culture, advising companies on gender inequity, sexual harassment, and diversity. She has served on numerous strategic advisory boards for organizations, businesses, and nonprofits, including the United State of Women, which she continues to co-chair.
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Dr. Kristin Neff, Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion training program, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide, and the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
In this episode, Professor Neff and Dr. Paryavi discuss the transformational power of self-compassion and how it enables us to thrive in every aspect of our lives, especially as parents and leaders. They also share advice on overcoming fears, anxiety, and self-criticism, and finding positive motivation, inner peace, and joy.
Episode 8 Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
I can’t even begin to describe how much practicing self-compassion has transformed my life! I see developing self-compassion as an invitation to heal our relationship with ourselves, allowing us to grow and thrive with greater ease and joy. As you’ll hear in my conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff, the pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, practicing self-compassion can truly transform our lives and it is accessible to us all. Of course, we are always deserving of kindness and compassion, but after the year we’ve had, if there was ever a time for us to start being kinder to ourselves, that time is now. I hope this episode gives you the insights and inspiration to be more gentle with yourself and give yourself the warmth and support to truly thrive and keep on shining. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
01:35 - What is Self-Compassion?
02:47 - How self-compassion helps motivate us
04:10 - Why do we resist being compassionate towards ourselves?
06:35 - How self-compassion helps us overcome fear
07:22 - The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion
08:50 - How to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves
10:21 - How to overcome self-criticism
13:59 - The importance of engaging with different parts of ourselves
14:49 - The difference between self-compassion and self-love
16:55 - How to develop self-compassion
24:45 - How self-compassion can help us through challenging times
26:30 - How to find joy and happiness
27:45 - Advice for parents: How to teach self-compassion to children
32:12 - Insights for leaders: How to enhance leadership capacity, develop empathy, growth mindset, grit, and courage
44:08 - Gender differences in self-compassion and finding balance within
49:22 - Resources and tools for developing self-compassion
50:26 - Kristin's pioneering journey and impact of self-compassion on her life
More about Dr. Kristin Neff:
Kristin Neff received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, and is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.
Kristin is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, creating a scale to measure the construct almost 20 years years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and in June 2021 she will be releasing her new book Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.
In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. She is also co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.
For more information on self-compassion, including a self-compassion test, research articles, practices, and Dr. Neff's teaching schedule, go to www.self-compassion.org.
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Valerie B. Jarrett, former Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama, is a senior advisor to the Obama Foundation and Attn, a Senior Distinguished Fellow at the University of Chicago Law School, chairman of the board of When We All Vote, co-chair of The United State of Women, and author of New York Times bestselling book, Finding My Voice: When the Perfect Plan Crumbles, the Adventure Begins.
In this episode, Ms. Jarrett and Dr. Paryavi discuss their struggles and journeys in finding their voices and the key lessons they have learned along the way. Ms. Jarrett also shares invaluable advice on how we can all find our voices to empower ourselves, empower others, and speak up for racial equality.
Episodes Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
“I believe in the power of each voice to make the impossible, inevitable.” - Valerie B. Jarrett
I knew that the first season of this podcast would be incomplete without an episode on the importance of finding our voices and using them to empower ourselves and others. As I was in search of a guest to help bring this topic to life, I stumbled on one of Valerie Jarrett’s book tour interviews. In the interview, she shared how she was born in Shiraz, Iran and how she struggled to find her voice, an inspiring journey she details in her book. I was also born in Shiraz and struggled for years to find my voice, which I’m always continuing to develop and refine. I quickly ordered her book and could not put it down. I related to many aspects of her story and knew that I had to speak with her. It so happened that we ended up speaking in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic and the largest racial justice movement in the history of the world. Needless to say, we had a lot to talk about, including how we can each find our voice to fight systemic racism. I hope you enjoy our conversation!
Episode Breakdown:
01:25 - How systemic racism in the United States led to Ms. Jarrett being born in Iran
03:09 - The importance of being open to life’s pivots
04:16 - Maliheh’s struggles in finding her voice
06:57 - Ms. Jarrett’s journey of finding her voice
10:08 - How to listen to your inner voice
10:54 - Importance of patience, resilience, and self-compassion
12:28 - What to do when the perfect life plan crumbles
13:09 - Building trust in your capacity to rise above adversity
14:39 - Making the change towards a more fulfilling life and career
16:21 - Coronavirus pandemic as a wake-up call and an opportunity to reset, reevaluate, and redesign our lives and organizations
19:00 - Understanding the deep pain and struggle for equality in the Black community
20:57 - How to speak out against racial injustice
24:17 - The importance of being educated voters
28:25 - How to make sure your voice is heard as a woman in leadership
More about Valerie Jarrett:
Valerie B. Jarrett is a Senior Distinguished Fellow at the University of Chicago Law School, and a senior advisor to the Obama Foundation and Attn. She serves as chairman of the board of When We All Vote and co-chair of The United State of Women. She also serves on the boards of Ariel Investments, 2U, Lyft, the Innocence Project, the Economic Club of Chicago and the John F. Kennedy Center for Performing Arts. Her New York Times bestselling memoir, Finding My Voice: When the Perfect Plan Crumbles, the Adventure Begins, was published in 2019 and updated in 2020.
Ms. Jarrett was the longest serving Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama. She oversaw the Offices of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs and Chaired the White House Council on Women and Girls. Ms. Jarrett worked throughout her tenure at the White House to mobilize elected officials, business and community leaders, and diverse groups of advocates. She led the Obama Administration’s efforts to expand and strengthen access to the middle class, and boost American businesses and our economy. She championed the creation of equality and opportunity for all Americans, and economically and politically empowering women in the United States and around the world. She oversaw the Administration’s advocacy for workplace policies that empower working families, including equal pay, raising the minimum wage, paid leave, paid sick days, workplace flexibility, and affordable childcare, and led the campaigns to reform our criminal justice system, end sexual assault, and reduce gun violence.
Ms. Jarrett has a background in both the public and private sectors. She served as the Chief Executive Officer of The Habitat Company in Chicago, Chairman of the Chicago Transit Board, Commissioner of Planning and Development, and Deputy Chief of Staff for Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley. She also served as the director of numerous corporate and not-for-profit boards including Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of the Chicago Stock Exchange, Chairman of the University of Chicago Medical Center Board of Trustees, and Director of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. Jarrett practiced law for ten years in both the private and public sectors, and has also received numerous awards and honorary degrees, including TIME’s “100 Most Influential People” as well as the Abner J. Mikva Legal Legends Award.
Jarrett received her B.A. from Stanford University in 1978 and her J.D. from the University of Michigan Law School in 1981.
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Amaney Jamal is a Professor of Politics at Princeton University and Director of the Mamdouha S. Bobst Center for Peace and Justice. She is a Carnegie Scholar specializing in political behavior and development, and the author of the award-winning book "Barriers to Democracy."
In this episode, Professor Jamal and Dr. Paryavi discuss challenges of representation in academia, belonging, self-acceptance, and women's empowerment. Professor Jamal also shares her inspiring journey as a scholar, leader, and mother of four.
Episodes Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
I’ll never forget the first time I met Amaney Jamal back in 2014. We were at a workshop in Abu Dhabi and I was completely awestruck. Seeing and meeting her had such a significant impact on me as a PhD student. I start the episode sharing this and thanking Amaney for being such an inspiring presence. Having the opportunity to give gratitude in person, host her on this podcast, and hear her amazing journey meant so much to me. She is a remarkable example of how we can break through barriers and succeed when we combine grit with embracing who we are. I truly hope our conversation inspires you to continue to honor yourself and live your life to the fullest. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
00:55 - Amaney's impact on Maliheh as a role model
03:57 - The importance of descriptive representation
06:05 - The challenge of diversity in academia
08:05 - Empowering yourself though education
11:20 - Amaney's journey as an academic
13:28 - The challenges of belonging and how to belong
15:48 - Importance of self-acceptance
18:45 - Assimilation while staying true to yourself and your values
22:39 - The possibility of multiple modernities within the modern world and what that could mean for women's empowerment
26:15 - Shifting attitudes towards women's empowerment in the Middle East
32:13 - Honoring one’s personal spiritual path
34:40 - Importance of taking breaks and gaining perspective
35:39 - Balancing responsibilities as a mother of four
38:59 - Inspiring children through own success and leadership
41:12 - Following your passion while facing conflicting external pressures and expectations
44:15 - The importance of prioritizing self-care
More about Amaney Jamal:
Amaney A. Jamal is the Edwards S. Sanford Professor of Politics at Princeton University and Director of the Mamdouha S. Bobst Center for Peace and Justice. Jamal also directs the Workshop on Arab Political Development and the Bobst-American University of Beirut Collaborative Initiative.
Her book, Barriers to Democracy (2007), which explores the role of civic associations in promoting democratic effects in the Arab world, won the 2008 American Political Science Best Book Award in the Comparative Democratization section. Her other books include, Of Empires and Citizens and her co-edited volume Arab Americans Before and After 9/11. Jamal’s articles have appeared in the American Journal of Political Science, Journal of Politics, Comparative Political Studies, Journal of Conflict Resolution, Comparative Politics, Perspectives on Politics, International Migration Review, and other venues. Her article “Does Islam Play a Role in anti-Immigrant Sentiment: An Experimental Approach.”, in Social Science Research 2015 won the 2016 Louis Wirth Best Article Award: American Sociological Association, International Migration Section.
Jamal is the co-Principal of the Arab Barometer Project (Winner of the Best Dataset in the Field of Comparative Politics (Lijphart/Przeworski/Verba Dataset Award 2010), and has secured over 4 million dollars in grants for this and other projects from the Middle East Partnership Initiative (MEPI), National Science Foundation (NSF), NSF: Time-Sharing Experiments for the Social Sciences (TESS), Qatar National Research Fund, (QNRF), United States Institute of Peace (USIP), the International Development Research Centre (IDRC), Carnegie Corporation of New York, and the Luce Foundation.
In 2006, Jamal was named a Carnegie Scholar. She holds a Phd from the University of Michigan (2003). Her areas of specialization are the Middle East and North Africa, mass and political behavior, political development and democratization, inequality and economic segregation, Muslim Immigration (US and Europe), gender, race, religion, and class.
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Christiane Northrup, M.D. is a leading authority on women’s health and wellness. She is a board-certified OB/GYN, a three-time New York Times bestselling author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-being, and one of Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul 100.
In this episode, Dr. Paryavi shares her healing journey with Dr. Northrup, and together, they explore how we can all empower ourselves to achieve and sustain optimal health and wellbeing. Dr. Northrup also shares insights and inspiring stories from her amazing life and career as a pioneer in women’s health.
Episode Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
“The secret to thriving is the knowledge that we are never simply victims of our bodies. We have within us the ability to heal from anything and go on to live joy-filled lives.” - Dr. Christiane Northrup
I strongly believe that achieving and maintaining physical health requires a holistic approach that needs to honor and connect the mind, body, and spirit. When I was planning for this episode, I knew that I couldn’t find anyone else in the world who could speak to this with greater authority and in a more loving and empowering way than Dr. Northrup. I had the pleasure of visiting Dr. Northrup in Portland, Maine and simply being in her presence was a healing experience for me. I truly hope our conversation inspires you to love and befriend your body, feel empowered to tune into your inner guide, and design a life and career that honors you as a whole - mind, body, and spirit. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
01:02 - Maliheh’s healing journey
03:26 - An empowering and holistic approach to health
07:34 - The shortcomings of modern medicine
09:34 - The power of the mind
11:32 - The body's infinite capacity to heal
12:11 - How to begin healing your body
16:34 - Finding your own path to healing
19:18 - Connecting with our emotions and finding our purpose
26:20 - Healing the parts of us that need to mature
29:06 - The healing powers of loving thoughts and gratitude
33:04 - Loving, appreciating, and accepting our bodies
37:35 - Tuning in and honoring our individual needs
44:24 - The unrealistic expectations and pressures faced by women
45:59 - How to redesign our world to better honor women
49:08 - How embracing your authentic self impacts your health
52:29 - The challenges of childcare
56:33 - Dr. Northrup's inspiring journey as a pioneer in women’s health and her advice for others
(Information and insights provided in this episode are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Please consult a medical professional directly for any health concerns.)
More about Dr. Christiane Northrup:
Christiane Northrup, M.D. is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. She is a board-certified OB/GYN, former assistant clinical professor of OB/GYN at the University of Vermont College of Medicine, and a three-time New York Times bestselling author of “Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom,” “The Wisdom of Menopause,” and “Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-being.”
In 2013, Reader’s Digest named Dr. Northrup one of the “100 Most Trusted People in America.” In 2016, she was named one of Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul 100, a group of leaders who are using their voices and talent to awaken humanity. And in 2018, Dr. Northrup received the first Mind/Body Healing award, a special category within the New Thought Walden Awards, honoring those who use empowering spiritual ideas and philosophies to change lives and make the planet a better place.
Internationally known for her empowering approach, Dr. Northrup embraces medicine that acknowledges the unity of mind, body, emotions, and spirit, and teaches women to create health by tuning into their inner wisdom. After decades spent transforming women’s understanding of their sacred bodies and processes, Dr. Northrup now teaches women to thrive at every stage of life. Her book, “Making Life Easy: A Simple Guide to A Divinely Inspired Life” (Hay House, 2016) was an immediate success. Her newest book, “Dodging Energy Vampires” (Hay House, 2018) offers radical “upstream” preventive medicine. Dr. Northrup’s work has been featured on Super Soul Sunday on OWN, The Oprah Winfrey Show, the Today Show, NBC Nightly News, The View, Rachael Ray, Good Morning America, 20/20, and The Dr. Oz Show.
As a business owner, physician, former surgeon, mother, writer, speaker, and, according to Miriam Ava Ph.D., a “rebel, rockstar and authority on what can go right with the female body,” Dr. Northrup acknowledges our individual and collective capacity for growth, freedom, joy, and balance. To that end, she actively shares cutting-edge information with her worldwide community on www.drnorthrup.com, Facebook, Twitter, and her Internet radio show Flourish!
When she’s not teaching and traveling, Dr. Northrup loves dancing Argentine tango, going to the movies, playing the harp, getting together with friends and family, boating, and reading.
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Susan David, Ph.D. is one of the world’s leading management thinkers and an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist. She is the author of #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling book, “Emotional Agility,” and her TED Talk, “The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage,” went viral with over 1 million views in its first week of release.
In this episode, Dr. Paryavi asks Dr. David to share how we can develop the emotional courage and agility to manage our inner worlds and truly empower ourselves to thrive. Dr. David describes life-changing strategies and techniques for navigating our emotions and using the critical information they provide to transform how we live, parent, and lead.
Episode Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
“How we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent, and how we lead.” - Dr. Susan David
By the time I discovered Dr. Susan David’s TED Talk, I had spent years engaging in research, self-exploration, and lots of trial and error to learn how to manage my inner world and befriend my emotions. As I heard her speak, I kept thinking, “Where have you been all this time?” I started following her work and when I decided to launch this podcast, I knew it was critical to feature Susan’s message. We had an enriching conversation about how we can all learn to heal and manage our inner worlds, develop emotional courage and agility, and empower ourselves to thrive. From beginning to end, this episode is packed with powerful life and career-changing insights and inspiration. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
00:57 - What does it take, internally, to thrive in the world?
04:38 - Why trying to “be positive” could be undermining your wellbeing and success
08:35 - Why avoiding difficult emotions devalues your mental health, wellbeing, and ability to reach your goals
12:14 - How to deal with and move through difficult emotions
16:39 - What are your emotions trying to tell you?
17:49 - Importance of being self-compassionate
19:08 - The power of labeling our emotions
21:07 - Embracing discomfort to have a meaningful life
24:17 - How to strengthen your emotional courage and raise emotionally agile children
29:30 - How to promote emotional courage in the workplace
32:09 - How to model emotional courage and lead by example
34:15 - The importance of learning to be with yourself and your emotions
37:15 - How to connect with your intrinsic wants and sustain your goals
40:52 - How to make small changes to transform your life
45:54 - How to free yourself from limiting beliefs and stories
50:26 - How to continue exploring your inner world
More about Susan David:
Susan David has a PhD in psychology (clinical) and a post-doctorate in emotions research from Yale. She is on faculty at Harvard Medical School and is co-founder and co-director of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate. She has been awarded many prizes and scholarships for her academic work.
Named on the Thinkers50 global list of the top management thinkers, Susan has a passion for keynote speaking and management consulting, and is a renowned executive coach, who applies her knowledge of emotions, human motivation and change to individuals and organizations. She frequently works in the areas of personal leadership, culture, engagement, and people strategy.
Susan has been an advisor to numerous leaders faced with difficult situations, including mergers and acquisitions, leadership transitions, and strategic revisions. She routinely consults at the most senior levels of Fortune 500 companies, and with other global organizations from industries as diverse as financial services, information technology, healthcare, utilities, pharmaceuticals, and mining. Her world-wide client list includes Ernst and Young Global, the World Economic Forum, the United Nations Development Program, BHP Billiton, JP Morgan Chase, GlaxoSmithKline, and Nestlé, among many other multinational firms.
She edited the definitive Oxford Handbook of Happiness with a foreword by His Majesty the King of Bhutan – the first country to measure Gross National Happiness (Oxford University Press, 2013). She also edited Beyond Goals: Effective Strategies for Coaching and Mentoring (Gower, 2013). She is a frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review and her research has been featured in TIME, Fast Company, the Wall Street Journal, and Inc.com, among other major publications. Susan’s article Emotional Agility stayed on Harvard Business Review’s “Most Read” list for months. In a short time, nearly a quarter of a million people had downloaded it, and it was named by Harvard Business Review as an “Idea that Shaped Management” and was the winner of the Thinkers50 Breakthrough Idea Award. Its popularity was the impetus for her book by the same name, published by Penguin (Avery) which was named a #1 Wall Street Journal Best seller and has been translated into multiple languages. Susan’s TED Talk on the topic went viral with over 1 million views in its first week of release. She is a frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review, New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and guest on national radio and television.
Susan is a global citizen who loves to travel. She backpacked across the world for nearly two years and has lived in South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and now, Boston, USA. In December 2016 she will co-lead the first all-female expedition to Antarctica – it’s aim being to increase the influence and impact of women in science. In her daily life, Susan enjoys spending time with her two young children, Noah and Sophie, and her husband Anthony. She finds happiness in the small things while also managing a busy academic and working schedule.
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Anousheh Ansari is the CEO of the XPRIZE Foundation and Co-Founder of The Billion Dollar Fund for Women. She captured headlines around the world when she embarked upon an 11-day space expedition, accomplishing her childhood dream of becoming the first female private space explorer, first astronaut of Iranian descent, first Muslim woman in space, and fourth private explorer to visit space.
In this episode, Ms. Ansari and Dr. Paryavi explore the keys to finding passion and purpose in life, while drawing upon Ms. Ansari’s inspiring journey. They shed light on how we can become curious explorers and the steps we need to take to fulfill our biggest dreams.
Episode Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
One of the themes that keeps coming up in my work as The Leadership Ellevator is about the importance of cultivating curiosity. Curiosity is an essential skill that can be developed and is accessible to all of us. It can help individuals break internal and external barriers, find creative solutions to challenging problems, and discover new horizons. I was fortunate that a long-time mentor and dear friend introduced me to Anousheh Ansari, who is an excellent example of someone who has had a lifelong practice of cultivating her curiosity. I flew across the U.S. to meet Anousheh, and it was definitely worth it! She is truly one of the most inspiring individuals I have ever met. She shared how trusting her curiosity has empowered her to pursue her passions and continue to find new ones. She also had some wonderful advice on how we can find our passion, achieve our dreams, and change the world for the better. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
01:15 - What has propelled Anousheh to break so many barriers?
02:48 - Origins and significance of cultivating curiosity
05:25 - How did Anousheh deal with resistance to her curiosity and passions?
06:45 - Importance of asking questions
09:43 - How to overcome fear of failure
11:19 - How to discover your passion
12:55 - What Anousheh felt when she was about to launch into space
15:19 - How to connect the dots in life
16:13 - How to identify and take the first step towards your passion
21:40 - How to find your life purpose
24:00 - Anousheh’s advice for dealing with naysayers
26:03 - How to challenge the status quo: I introduce my idea of imagining a “Women Designed World” and discuss it with Anousheh.
27:50 - How is Anousheh redesigning her world?
32:33 - Anousheh’s take on work-life balance and her self-care practice
EXERCISE: IMAGINE A “WOMEN DESIGNED WORLD”
For the most part, we have inherited a world that was originally designed by men, for men. Imagining what I call, a “Women Designed World” is an exercise to help us identify the gaps in our world, challenge the status quo, and create systemic changes that will improve everyone’s lives.
I talked to Anousheh about this (starting at 26:03), but I first introduced this idea in Episode 2 with Harvard’s Iris Bohnet, so make sure to check out that conversation as well. Next, allow yourself to imagine a different life in a different world. What do you think a woman designed world would look like? What would it be like to live in a world designed by women? If you can’t think of anything, start by imagining how you would redesign your own life to better meet your unique needs. What would you love to change?
Share your ideas! #womendesignedworld
And remember:
You have the power to redesign your life, your organization, and your world!
More about Anousheh Ansari: Anousheh Ansari is the CEO of the XPRIZE Foundation, the world’s leader in designing and operating incentive competitions to solve humanity’s grand challenges. Ansari, along with her family, sponsored the organization’s first competition, the Ansari XPRIZE, a $10 million competition that ignited a new era for commercial spaceflight. Since then, she has served on XPRIZE’s Board of Directors. Prior to being named CEO of XPRIZE, Ansari served as the CEO of Prodea Systems, a leading Internet of Things (IoT) technology firm she co-founded in 2006, and continues to serve as the executive chairwoman. She captured headlines around the world when she embarked upon an 11-day space expedition, accomplishing her childhood dream of becoming the first female private space explorer, first astronaut of Iranian descent, first Muslim woman in space, and fourth private explorer to visit space. Ansari serves on the World Economic Forum’s (WEF) Global Future Council and has received numerous honors, including the WEF Young Global Leader, Ellis Island Medal of Honor, and STEM Leadership Hall of Fame, among others. She is a UNESCO Good Will Ambassador and serves on the board of Jabil and Peace First, as well as several other not-for-profit organizations focused on STEM education and youth empowerment. Ansari also co-founded The Billion Dollar Fund for Women, announced in October, 2018 at the Tri Hita Karana (THK) Forum on Sustainable Development in Bali, Indonesia, with a goal of investing $1 billion in women-founded companies by 2020. She published her memoir, My Dream of Stars, to share her life story as inspiration for young women around the world. Ansari holds a BS in electronics and computer engineering from George Mason University, an MS in electrical engineering from George Washington University; and honorary doctorates from George Mason University, Utah Valley University, and International Space University. -
Iris Bohnet is a Behavioral Economist and Professor of Business and Government at Harvard University, Academic Dean of Harvard Kennedy School, Co-Director of the Women and Public Policy Program, and author of the award-winning book, What Works: Gender Equality by Design.
In this episode, Professor Bohnet takes you through her scholarly journey and shares how she manages all her demanding commitments and finds the motivation to keep going. Professor Bohnet and Dr. Paryavi also discuss the importance of having more women in leadership positions, and present strategies and insights for promoting gender equality and closing the gender gap in leadership.
Episode Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
I had the great fortune of having Iris Bohnet as my Ph.D. advisor at Harvard. In all the years I’ve known her, we would always prioritize discussing my growth, dissertation, and our research. This was the first time we had the chance to actually talk about her! I was able to see a whole new side to Iris during this podcast recording, and I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity. Iris opened up about how she balances all of her commitments as a scholar, leader, and mother, what energizes her, and what keeps her going. We also talked about why we need more women in leadership, “what works” to get them there, and how to make sure they thrive. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
01:28 - How does Iris manage her numerous commitments?
04:37 - How does Iris keep a work-life balance?
09:11 - How does Iris stay motivated?
12:58 - Iris’ inspiring journey towards becoming a leading scholar on gender equality
17:29 - Why is it so important to have more women in leadership positions?
22:13 - Is promoting gender equality a zero-sum game?
27:38 - “What works” to close the gender gap in leadership?
34:03 - Having the right support to thrive as a leader
37:03 - How to challenge the status quo: I introduce my idea of imagining a “Women Designed World” and discuss it with Iris.
Exercise: Imagine a “Women Designed World”
For the most part, we have inherited a world that was originally designed by men, for men. Imagining what I call, a “Women Designed World” is an exercise to help us identify the gaps in our world, challenge the status quo, and create systemic changes that will improve everyone’s lives.
Listen to the conversation starting at 37:03, then allow yourself to imagine a different life in a different world. What do you think a woman designed world would look like? What would it be like to live in a world designed by women? If you can’t think of anything, start by imagining how you would redesign your own life to better meet your unique needs. What would you love to change?
Share your ideas! #womendesignedworld
And remember:
You have the power to redesign your life, your organization, and your world!
More about Iris Bohnet:Iris Bohnet, the Albert Pratt Professor of Business and Government and Academic Dean at the Harvard Kennedy School, serves as co-director of the Women and Public Policy Program, an associate director of the Harvard Decision Science Laboratory, and the faculty chair of the executive program “Global Leadership and Public Policy for the 21st Century” for the World Economic Forum’s Young Global Leaders. She serves on the boards, advisory boards or as a patron of Credit Suisse Group, Applied, Edge, genEquality, TaketheLeadWomen, We Shape Tech, Women in Banking and Finance, and the UK Government’s Equalities Office as well as numerous academic journals. She was named one of the Most Influential People in Gender Policy by apolitical in 2018, a Leading Thinker of Victoria, Australia, 2016-2019, and has received an honorary degree from the University of Lucerne, Switzerland, in 2016.
Professor Bohnet teaches organizational design, decision-making, negotiation and gender in public policy and leadership in degree and executive programs, and has been engaged in the teaching, training and consulting of private and public sector leaders in the United States, Australia, Europe, India and the Middle East. Some of the larger consulting, research or speaking clients include the UK and US governments, BlackRock, Deutsche Bank, Citi, Deloitte, EY, Fidelity, GE, Google, the IMF, Johnson & Johnson, KPMG, the OECD, Salesforce, Sanofi, Schroders, UNESCO, UNICEF, UN Women, Unilever, and the World Bank.
A behavioral economist, she combines insights from economics and psychology to improve decision-making in organizations and society, often with a gender or cross-cultural perspective. Her most recent research examines behavioral design to de-bias how we live, learn and work. Her academic work has been published in the best journals of her profession, including the American Economic Review, the American Political Science Review, the Quarterly Journal of Economics,and Management Science. Her book What Works: Gender Equality By Design (Harvard University Press 2016) provides decision-makers from across the sectors with scientific insights on how to redesign organizations, school and society.
A Swiss citizen, she received her Ph.D. in Economics from the University of Zurich in 1997 and spent a year as a research fellow at the Haas School of Business at the University of California Berkeley from 1997-1998. She joined the Harvard Kennedy School as an assistant professor in 1998 and was made full professor in 2006. She is married to Michael Zurcher, and she and her husband have two children.
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Angela Duckworth is a Professor of Psychology at University of Pennsylvania, Founder and CEO of Character Lab, winner of the MacArthur Award (Genius Award), and New York Times Bestselling author on grit.
In this episode, Professor Duckworth and Dr. Paryavi explore the keys to success while sharing reflections from their own growth experiences. Their conversation is full of great insights, reminders, and advice to help us reach our goals and live our best lives.
Episode Notes from Maliheh Paryavi, PhD:
"Psychologists have spent decades searching for the secret of success, but Duckworth is the one who found it." - Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology, Harvard University
I feel so grateful for having had the opportunity to host the amazing Angela Duckworth as my first guest on this podcast. Angela is a Professor of Psychology at University of Pennsylvania, Founder and CEO of The Character Lab, winner of the MacArthur Award (Genius Award), and New York Times Bestselling author on grit.
I had been following Angela's work for quite a while and was so excited when I finally had the chance to meet her. We had a wonderful time as we explored the keys to success. Angela also enriched our conversation with candid stories from her own life and growth journey. This episode is full of great insights, reminders, and advice to help us reach our goals and live our best lives. Enjoy!
Episode Breakdown:
00:59 - What are key factors to success?
03:09 - Importance of grit
05:45 - How can we become experts at anything?
08:34 - How to embrace challenges
10:39 - How to cultivate a growth mindset
13:31 - How to deal with fear, anxiety, and self-doubt
18:20 - How to deal with perfectionism and failure
24:17 - How to set goals for success
32:57 - How to deal with expectations
35:55 - Embracing curiosity and character development
38:19 - How to reach for your goals even when feeling unprepared
40:27 - How does Angela manage all of her responsibilities?
43:38 - Importance of saying “No”
46:57 - Importance of self-care
49:36 - How to balance it all!
More about Angela Duckworth:
Angela Duckworth is the Founder and CEO of Character Lab, a nonprofit whose mission is to advance the science and practice of character development. She is also the Christopher H. Browne Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, faculty co-director of the Penn-Wharton Behavior Change For Good Initiative, and faculty co-director of Wharton People Analytics.
A 2013 MacArthur Fellow, Angela has advised the White House, the World Bank, NBA and NFL teams, and Fortune 500 CEOs.
Prior to her career in research, Angela founded a summer school for low-income children that was profiled as a Harvard Kennedy School case study and, in 2018, celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary. She has also been a McKinsey management consultant and a math and science teacher in the public schools of New York City, San Francisco, and Philadelphia.
Angela completed her undergraduate degree in Advanced Studies Neurobiology at Harvard, graduating magna cum laude. With the support of a Marshall Scholarship, she completed an MSc with Distinction in Neuroscience from Oxford University. She completed her PhD in Psychology as a National Science Foundation Graduate Fellow at the University of Pennsylvania.
Angela has received numerous awards for her contributions to K–12 education, including a Beyond Z Award from the KIPP Foundation. Angela's TED talk is among the most-viewed of all time. Her first book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, is a #1 New York Times best seller.
