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Rachel Joy Swardson thought losing her best friend was rare. Then she met content creator Shameless Elle and discovered they shared a surprisingly similar story. For nearly a decade, Elle believed she'd already found her person, the friend she'd call in a crisis, celebrate life's wins with, and grow old beside.
Then one difficult decision changed everything, and the friendship ended. In this candid conversation, Rachel and Elle talk about friendship breakups, losing the woman you thought would always be there, and the unexpected loneliness that follows when your social world is built around one person.
But they also talk about what comes next. Because sometimes the friendships that change your life aren't the ones you lose. They're the ones you didn't see standing beside you all along.
In This Episode:
• The friendship breakup that changed the course of Elle's life
• Why losing a best friend can feel as painful as a divorce
• The danger of making one person your entire social world
• How friendship loss can shake your confidence and identity
• The surprising people who were waiting in the wings all along
• What Rachel and Elle learned after losing the friendships they thought would last foreverConnect with Shameless Elle:
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube & Facebook: @ShamelessElle
https://shamelesselle.com
Coming Up Next:
Elles best friend Michelle @lifeofawidow joins the conversation in Part 2 to share how an unlikely friendship between three women became a lifeline during some of the hardest times of their lives.
About The Best Friend Podcast
The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original research, personal experience, and candid conversations. Learn more, take the survey, and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co.
Chapters:
0:00 Opening — "I thought we'd grow old together"
1:00 Welcome to The Best Friend Project
2:00 How Rachel Found Elle (and What She Saw in That Instagram Post)
3:00 Elle's Best Friend Breakup — Nine Years, Then Silence
5:00 The Moment That Ended Everything: A Crisis and a Phone Call
7:00 What It Feels Like to Lose Your "One Person"
9:00 How Elle Started Saying Yes to Friendship Again
11:00 Reflection: Was That Friendship Even Healthy?
13:00 Hiding Your Joy to Protect Your Friend's Feelings
15:00 Grieving a Friendship While Honoring the Good in It
16:00 How Elle Met Stephanie and Michelle
17:00 Three Women, Shared Grief, and a Friendship Born of Necessity
19:00 When Friendship Hits a Threshold — And You Have to Decide
21:00 Healthier Friendships Were There All Along
22:00 "I Thought I Only Needed One Friend" — On Codependency and Letting People In
24:00 The Story of Michelle's Car — What True Friendship Looks Like
27:00 How Michelle Teaches Elle to Be a Better Friend
28:00 Michelle Joins the Conversation — Stay Tuned for Part 2
#TheBestFriendProject #FriendshipBreakup #WomenAndFriendship #FemaleFriendship #BestFriendBreakup #MakingFriendsAsAnAdult #FriendshipHealing
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When Shameless Elle lost the friendship she thought would last forever, she wasn't looking for new friends. But life had other plans.
In Part 2 of this conversation, Rachel Joy Swardson welcomes Michelle (@TheLifeOfAWidow) to the podcast to talk about the friendship that formed when three women found themselves navigating grief, loss, loneliness, and some of the hardest seasons of their lives at the exact same time.
Michelle shares how growing up in poverty shaped the way she approached friendship, while Elle reflects on the surprising lessons she's learned from the women who stepped into her life after her best friend breakup. Together, they talk about accepting help, showing up imperfectly, and why some of the most meaningful friendships aren't built during the best years of our lives, they're built during the hardest.
This isn't a conversation about waiting until you have life figured out before making friends. It's a conversation about finding people willing to march through the hardships with you, because they're in it too.
In This Episode:
• How three women found each other during seasons of grief and loss
• The impact poverty can have on friendship and self-worth
• Why asking for help is harder than it looks
• What happens when women stop trying to earn love and simply receive it
• Friendship after widowhood, divorce, and heartbreak
• The small acts of kindness that change relationships forever
• Why nobody has to march through life's hardest moments aloneConnect with Our Guests:
Shameless Elle
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube & Facebook: @ShamelessEllehttps://shamelesselle.com
Michelle
Instagram: @TheLifeOfAWidowAbout The Best Friend Podcast
The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original data, personal experience, and candid conversations.
Chapters:
0:00 Opening — "Without Those Friendships, You'd Be Climbing the Walls"
1:00 Welcome to The Best Friend Project + Michelle Joins the Conversation
2:00 Michelle on Showing Up for Elle Through Grief
3:00 How Elle & Stephanie Show Up for Michelle Every Friday
5:00 The Power of Letting People In When You're Struggling
6:00 How Elle, Michelle & Stephanie's Friendship Was Born Out of Necessity
8:00 "Meet People Where They're At" — What Authentic Friendship Looks Like
9:00 Rachel Reflects on Survival Mode, Male Friends & Her First Real Female Friendship
11:00 Words of Advice for Anyone Struggling with Friendship
12:00 "Humble Yourself" — Elle's Honest Take on Growing Through Friendship
13:00 How to Be a Good Friend When You Have No Time or Capacity
14:00 "It's Not Do You Have Time for Me — It's How Can I Meet You Where You Are"
15:00 Michelle Opens Up: Poverty, Shame & Learning to Let People In
17:00 Overgiving to Be Loved — "If I Do This, Then You Will Love Me"
18:00 Elle Reflects on Michelle & Stephanie's Strength and Intelligence
19:00 Where to Follow Elle (Shameless Elle) & Michelle (Life of a Widow)
20:00 The Taylor Swift Origin Story Behind Michelle's Handle
21:00 Rachel's Closing Reflections — Seeing the Right People in Your Darkest Hour
22:00 Next Week: Noelle Rhodes on the Burden of Being the Funny Friend
#TheBestFriendProject #FemaleFriendship #GriefAndFriendship #WomenSupportingWomen #FriendshipAdvice #MakingFriendsAsAnAdult #VulnerabilityAndConnection
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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What happens when a 12-year friendship ends? For former television journalist and private investigator Rachel Joy Swardson, it sparked an investigation; not into a crime, but into one of life's most powerful and overlooked relationships: female friendship.
The Best Friend Project is an independent deep dive into how women find, make, lose, and keep meaningful friendships. Through original research, real stories from women across the country, and candid podcast interviews, this show explores the full arc of women's friendships, from the joy of connection and belonging to the pain of friendship heartbreak and loneliness.
Whether you're grieving the loss of a best friend, trying to build new friendships as an adult, or simply wondering why female friendships are so complicated, this is the conversation you've been waiting for. Tune in for honest, research-backed insights and real friendship stories that remind us: every friendship has a story worth telling.
Take the survey here: https://thebestfriendproject.co/
#TheBestFriendProject #BestFriendPodcast #FemaleFriendship #WomensFriendship #FriendshipPodcast
