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Shame. This is a topic of an episode I recorded or recorded many months back. It is relevant today as it was when I shamed first lifted its ugly head. Shortly after creation, shame arises from a cursed consciousness. This is the foundation of our shame, our minds, and what we think on. And from this cursed perspective comes projecting onto others. What is going on inside of us? Shame has a myriad names, loser, worthless failure loss cause forgotten idiot, uninvited to name a few. And in the hidden recesses of our mind, these curses are replayed situation that supposedly support. This view are rehearsed. Ruth Chels Simmons says daily habits create deep channels. This holds true to our thought life. And this is something that I've really thought a lot about the things we rehearse review, restate over and over again. Make deep channels in our thought life that takeover suddenly these lies become the story of our life.
Our narrative, our story becomes one filled with shame and hiding away because we don't want to be discovered truly no area of our life is untouched by our thoughts. And some even go as far to say that these personal narratives are their truth or your truth. This phrase is so off base and its implication so far and deep reaching. I must call it out for what it is. A lie. Truth is unchanging. The circumstances of our life are always changing our story, our perceptions, our opinions, and our narratives all have merit and value, but do not call it your truth. That gives it too much weight and power in your life. It hijacks who you are with what you have been telling yourself through the years, Tommy Newberry states, the secret conversations you hold and the privacy of your mind are shaping your destiny little by little.
Does that resonate with you? It certainly does. With me, shame is epidemic. I think we all have or experience it's ugly fruit. Even now, sometimes this is referred to the syndrome, you know, where you just don't feel like you're being authentic or real or you're pretending how many times have I told myself that I do not measure up to the task? Whatever that task may currently be. This is shame operating. There've been so many times in the course of, of a women to women meet up or have some other ministry that I'm involved in. And I tell myself not to go to that group that they don't want me there since they don't really know me. That's shame talking. How many times have I not reached out to that person or this woman? Because I tell myself she doesn't consider me a friend or I tell myself, don't mention that.
Just let it be. And don't discuss it since they don't care. Shame does that. It lies to us convincing us that things that are most often just not true shame keeps us in, sequestered away. So as not to burden others, shame keeps us buried beneath the surface of the veneer of our life, false bravado or a shrinking violet, both are shame induced and they prevent us from entering into the fullness of life. Christ promised us shame is a bully. Shame is a jail keeper and delights keeping its prisoners in solitary confinement. In the midst of our busy lives. Liberation is found in scripture. Jesus told us that it was for freedom sake. He set us free. And since he is the son of God and the son of man, we know we can trust his words because why, how do we know that he created all things.
He came to earth so that we might receive his gift and life in abundance. Shame prevents us from stepping over this threshold into this magnificent life. We might make excuses. We might come up with reasons why we don't, but it's shame that prevents us from moving forward. Liberation is God's truth woven richly into your inner most being, which is the foundation of freedom. The invitation and is life free from shame and living in abundance is a universal one. It is an all-inclusive call to all of humanity. Yet it is exclusive to those who accept the invitation and the free gift. Our thought life often filled the shame or governed by. It can never alienate us from the love of God. If we belong to God through Jesus Christ, we are his and in his care. And we begin to take the shame off and put grace on. Oh, you might think that you have done too terrible of a thing or the pollution of your thought life is just too vile or too shocking, but know this. It is impossible for your sin, your life. Anything you've done to shock the one Jesus Christ who died because of it. Jesus died in your place. So let's get back to grace. And until next time, this is Sandra Vernon. -
Our prayers, easy to turn them into flowery platitudes of spiritual sounding rhetoric. People face difficult times and they asked for prayer and prayer is what we turn to when we're faced with suffering or calamity. These practices diminish the purpose of prayer. Prayer is defined as a spiritual communion with God per contains petitions and entreaties, but also worship and praise and worship. All that really means is thinking on spending time with having your mind focused on the thing that you say has worth, and God almighty. The creator of the universe is certainly worthy of all our worship. So after his disciples and I'm speaking of Jesus and his disciples, after his disciples asked about prayer, they wanted to know how to pray as they observed their teacher. Jesus, praying as an essential part of his life. As he walked this earth, Jesus demonstrated to them how to pray. And since the son of God prayed often daily, always how much more should we, how much more essential is this spiritual discipline for our daily walk yet I know is much more than what is practiced by most Christians.
Yeah. Prayer is for Christians the way to commune and communicate and stay connected with God. God hears our prayers yet. He is not obligated to answer prayers of those who reject him. Really. It's not unlike a strange adult children running to their parents only for help when there's a problem or trouble. They're never seeking to build a relationship. Yet. Relationship building is precisely what prayer is about, and God has given us this beautiful privilege as a gift. This gift demonstrates God's longing to connect with each of us intimately and love only. God doesn't need us to help him in any way yet. He has given the practice of prayer as a tool, not to only commune with him, but to also co-labor with him. This is one way how we can participate in kingdom work. We co-labor with God. As we persevere in prayer, we participate God's purposes.
When he, when we pray, we participate in warfare. When we pray, remember, God doesn't need us yet. He longs for us to enjoy the gift of prayer and the power of prayer by the creative design, the majestic beings, we know them as angels await their marching orders, which is garnered from our prayers. Now, um, this is not to say that God needs us so that his angels there to do the work. What I am suggesting and telling you is that go ahead, gave us this wonderful gift. So we can, we too can partner dissipate in the kingdom, uh, practices and kingdom work. So God doesn't need us. He can come in and his angels at any time to do his will and work yet. God also has prayers away that we too can participate. Take for example, this historical count of David, um, it's found in Dan or excuse me, Daniel, it's found in Daniel chapter 10, I'll read part of it.
Um, and then just kind of summarize part as well. In those days, I, Daniel had been mourning for three entire weeks. I did not eat any tasty food nor did meat or wine. Enter my mouth nor did I use any ointment at all. And until the entire three weeks were completed, Daniel saw the horrible state that Israel was in. They were in captivity now. And so he was an earnest prayer and a vision came to him. An angel came down only. He saw the vision, but his companions, they heard it. They knew something was going on and terrified, ran away. It continues in verse seven. Now I, Daniel alone saw the vision while the men who were with me did not see the vision. And so they ran away and left him and here Daniel says, but I heard the sound of his words. This is the vision that showed up the, the angel.
As soon as I heard the sound of his words, I fell into a deep sleep on my face with my face to the ground. Now, first of all, if I may, could you imagine if you had this vision and this huge being that Daniel tries to describe is there before you and your companions leave you, they abandoned you. But here's what this angelic being said to Daniel to, or Tim Daniel. Yeah. You who are treasured. Understand the words that I am about to tell you and stand at your place for, I have now been sent to you. And when he had spoken this to me, I stood up trembling. Then he said to me, do not be afraid Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard. And I have come in response to your words.
Isn't that amazing. It was because of Daniel's prayer that this angel was able to come. The angel continues telling Daniel this, but the prince of the kingdom of Persia was standing in my way for 21 days. Now, remember Daniel fasted for 21 days, there was warfare going on. Daniel was participating in a way he didn't fully comprehend till this vision. And so, as it goes on, and he was able to tell Daniel that after these 21 days that he was released and he was able to tell him that I have come to answer the concerns of your heart. And then the angel goes on to say, then this one with human appearance, speaking of the angel touched me again and strengthened me. And he said, you are treasured. Do not be afraid. Peace be to you, take courage and be courageous. Now, as soon as he spoke to me, I felt strengthened and said, may my Lord speak for you has strengthened me.
Then he said, do you understand why I came to you? But I shall now return to fight against the prince of Persia. So I am leaving and behold, the prince of Greece is about to come. However, I will tell you what is recorded in the writing of truth yet, there is no one who stands firmly with me against these forces except Michael, your prince. So here at Daniel's been told, he's participating in spiritual warfare, seeing behind the veil picture of what was going on. And that's what prayer is ultimately about is participating in what God provided, participating and fighting in spiritual warfare through prayer. So do you see it? There was the cause of a three-week delay, why it was because of an evil spiritual force and it wasn't until Daniel persevered in prayer and fasting that God sent his angels and they were released to do battle because an evil angel also called a demon was opposing God's angel assigned to Persia evil, outweighed righteousness until Daniel participated because there are boundaries in the spiritual were almost all as well.
And so Daniel was doing warfare and helping break down those walls. I like how the angel not only comforted Daniel, but encouraged him as well, do not be afraid Daniel for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were. And I have come in response to your words, prayer it's important. It is perhaps the most important thing we can do in the kingdom work of God's people. It is most often the very best gift we can give to another person. Earnest prayer, specific focused, heartfelt prayer built from a relationship with God are the effective prayers. Prayers are almost always warfare based. Ephesians six, uh, chapter six, Paul writes to the effusion church. So the church had emphasis for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers against the powers against the world forces of this darkness against the spiritual fork forces of wickedness in heavenly places, therefore take up the full armor of God so that you'll be able to resist on the evil day and having done everything to stand firm.
So God's provision for warfare is not a physical armor, but a spiritual one. And since this warfare, we need the means to fight starting with standing from a belt of truth around our waste, which has God's word put on the breastplate of righteousness. We stand justified and righteous because Jesus declared us so strap onto our feet. The preparation of the gospel of peace, take up the word to be peacemakers, not peacekeepers. Take the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming errors, arrows of the evil one, put on the helmet of salvation speaking. Our truth of God's love and speaking God's truth to ourselves. So our minds are filled with those things, use the sword of the spirit, which is God's word and prayer. If we change our perspective and pet practice practices of what we used to think prayer was and learn what prayer really is.
It's God's way to build relationship with us. We can avail so much more. There is truly power in prayer. We can pray for those things that burden our hearts. We can pray for those things that worry our minds. We can pray. We can through prayer release, all those cares concerns and worries into the capable, loving hands of God almighty. And we also can intercede or pray on the behalf of others to our heavenly father waits, to hear from each one of us, from me and from you. So let's avail that beautiful privilege of prayer. And until next time, this is Sandra Vernon. -
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Fall six times rise seven. This has been a refrain for my life, and perhaps it resonates with you as well. It's my paraphrase from a wisdom writing of Solomon these past few years. Well, a good majority of my life really I've had physical issues and challenges and lately is I am doing the things to regain good health. It seems I take one step forward and then fall back several yet. As long as I keep plugging along, I will reach my goals. I can fall six times, but if I rise seven, I win my health challenges have been more like dealing with Nat swarms rather than a dragon such as cancer or some other fear diagnosis and thankful for that. But dang it. NATS are annoying. As a child, I was often described with compassion and sadness as a sickly child gamma globulin shots. When I was a toddler, several rounds of antibiotics in early grade school due to strep throat later in grade school, a virus with a raging fever that had my hair falling out weeks later.
And of course the usual chicken pox, mumps colds, broken foot in junior high, and later on scoliosis was discovered and they required that. I wear a full back brace 23 hours a day. You might recall a movie way back when in the eighties about a gal in high school wearing a back brace, that would have been me after that orthodontics at the time could offer no help to the huge gaps in my teeth though. I got braces after high school, when a new orthodontist moved into my small town, then I contracted viral meningitis, not once, but twice as a 19 year old, there was concern that it might be multiple sclerosis and decades later when I was hospitalized yet again for meningitis, for the symptom care. Um, I had one doctor who was delighted that he could actually grow the meningitis bug in a Petri dish.
Thanks to me. He had never had that in 25 years, guests, something good came of it. I also had kidney stones, a severe car accident that left me with broken ribs and a concussion accompanied by a beautiful scar on my forehead that my husband lovingly is my ax wound. I went through the sun roof of the glass when the car flipped. Um, I had a scare with bone scans and to determine if what I was experienced was, uh, rheumatoid arthritis or Paget's disease. It was discovered later that it was an MMR booster that a state required me to have before teaching. And that gave me the symptoms that I was experiencing concussion for. One of my special needs children that I was teaching that had me out of work for three days rear ended. And it was impact with whiplash. Chronic sinusitis treated the way too many antibiotics or anxiety was treated for both hospitalized with a cardiac issue.
And of course there are my riding accidents, always my whole, my fault, not my horses. One ride I broke, I broke my clavicle, another, a tailbone injury and then broken toes because horses like to step on toes concussion again from a cliff dieting act incident, which was a near drowning situation. And most recently discovered that H pylori is a real issue. Thanks to over antibiotic use that has been, uh, preventing my body from using B and D vitamins. So my lab numbers are always in the basement, severe reaction to make medication that took me months to recover from. And prior to that, I experienced a significant hip muscle injury while attending a workshop that left me unable to walk for several weeks. And I'm currently dealing with what could be an antibiotic antibiotic resistant infection. Now I'm sharing this all with you, all these little mats of my life in hopes that it may resonate with some of you and what you're facing and give you hope and encouragement that it doesn't have to be a hopeless situation.
Most often as an adult, I get some momentum in my health and journey. And then wham, I am slammed down again, whether it's an illness or, or an injury, but now armed with the promises in scripture that I know are secure, because I know he who has written them and I can trust his good character. So wham. Yep. I might get knocked down, but I will rise again. The wisdom, right things found in scripture, remind us that we were not created to go this life alone. I have found that my dear husband has been a great source of encouragement and support for me. He has been my, uh, by my side, through so many of these health issues and with love and great patients see me through each one of them. Dear friends are also walking alongside of me in this Odyssey. I thank God for each one of them offering care, concern, compassion, encouragement, patience, and understanding.
And also when I need to hear it most gospel truth and not a pity party participant. So this is how I get slammed down with health issues, but have the motivation to rise. Again. Solomon writes in Proverbs 24 16, and this is what I paraphrased for a righteous man falls seven times and rises again. But the wicked stumble in time of calamity. The number seven in scripture is a number of completeness. It also reminds us that we can fall several times and still rise again. The prophet Micah states do not rejoice over me. Oh my enemy, though, I fall, I will rise the white dwell in darkness. The Lord is a light for me. Isn't that a beautiful promise. I love David's poetry and songs. He writes in the 37th song, the steps of a man are established by the Lord. And he delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong because the Lord is the one who holds his hand. So as I struggle with some of these things, that's what I imagine and know to be true, that God will not abandon me. He's right there with me, virtually holding my hand. Paul writes a letter to the Corinthian church and wow, is this powerful in this letter to this, uh, the second letter to the church, um, Paul writes, but we have this treasure in earthen vessels so that the surpassing greatness of the power of God and not hope will be from God and not from ourselves. We are afflicted and every way, but not crushed perplexed, but not despairing persecuted, but not forsaken struck down, but not destroyed. Isn't that awesome. See, each time a fall and a rising again, afflicted, but not utterly crushed. There have been days and weeks and even months where I have been afflicted, but I've never been crushed perplexed, and often perplexed with these health issues I experienced.
They make no sense. They are annoying NATS of my life. And it seems I have a swarm of them. Most of the time, I have friends who are facing dragons of life like cancer. Well, we're perplexed, but not despairing. There's no room for despair. When we follow the one who holds our life in his hands for when we are Jesus followers, we know we can trust him for the outcome and care. And when persecution comes our way, we who belong to Christ know we will not be forsaken. We may be struck down and I have this, had this feeling of being struck down time and again, but I am not God's faithfulness. And his loving kindness has provided me with a community of believers and all I need to get back up again to wrap this up. There is a song by one of my favorite groups, mercy ne this chorus resonates with me so much.
This goes out to anyone who's down for the count. It's not over. Don't give up, don't throw in the towel, just remember who you belong to. Then let me remind you how this ends. We win. I love this too. As the song continues, we get pushed down. We get beat up. Kind of sounds like what Paul was writing about to the Corinthian church. So afraid life's going to keep us up against the ropes, but hang on. There is hope because if Christ is inside us, it won't be a fair fight because deep down we know how the story goes. We win. This is how I can rise up with hope. Each time I am smacked down with health issues or some other calamity. And I hope that this gives you some hope as well. Trust in God, trust his word. He will never leave us or forsake us until next time. This is Sandra Vernon.
Thank you for tuning in to the art of connection with me, Sandra Vernon, founder of faith, society, sharing messages from my heart to encourage personal growth and fulfillment so that each one of us can become the best version of ourselves. -
God's love for humanity. It's amazing. The following poetical verses one of my favorites, was shared by my dear friend and mentor Helene. She shared it with me many years ago and it's something I still meditate upon frequently. It's written by Zephaniah and it reads the Lord. Your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will rejoice over you with joy. He'll be quiet in his love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. Isn't this truly amazing. I read those words and I try to wrap my mind around it. It's just such an incredible and beautiful truth. And it's all inspiring. The creator of the universe thinks on you this way. He thinks on me this way. That to me is just truly difficult to comprehend. God is in our midst. He is not distant. And if you belong to Christ his holy spirit indwells, you Emmanuel God with us heaven here on earth because of his indwelling spirit.
He is a victorious warrior. We have no worries when we are on his side, God rejoices over us. He rejoices with joy, which I am reminded that there is little in my life that is remarkable to rejoice over it. Yet as our loving heavenly father, he rejoices over me and over you and over us all, maybe because he loves us not due to our merit in a song written by king David. God is essentially reminding us that though. We may not know him. He knows everything about us and still loves us and still wants a relationship with us. And this is in David's Psalm 139. God will be quiet in his love, just muse on this for a while. Isn't it wonderful just to sit with someone who loves you and no words have to be spoken, no performance. You can just be. And this is how God loves us in quietness and peace.
God also rejoices over us. Exuberantly was shouts of joy. Zephaniah writes and reminds us. God loves us so much that he shouts with joy. Think about that to me, that is just so incredible to think that the creator of the universe would shout with joy over me. And then also sit and in quietness, just reign his love down on me. Even at our most deplorable, God loves us. He loves me. He loves you. He loves humanity, all created in his image to reflect his character here on earth. Jesus died before we knew our need of him, that his love, he declared to those who follow him, that we are now innocent and free. Again, referring to Psalm 139. David, uh, reminds us that we are not a mistake for all of our days are written in his book in God's book. And it's as relevant today as when it was first written and there were life might not look like anything of value or anything of worth God who can only speak truth and cannot lie states.
That what he created was very good. And that's, he is. Speaking of is you and me. We are part of this creation by God's hand by God's spoken word. And the thing that I love to think on is God spoke everything into existence, but mankind humans, we are his image bearers, and he took exceptional care in our creation. He actually formed us with his hands and breathed his breath of life into humankind. That to me is just amazing. God calls his people, his treasured possession. Let that sink in a bit, a treasured possession. Now God was speaking to the Hebrew nation. When he made this proclamation, yet we have a gift and a privilege of being grafted into the family of God, through Jesus Christ. We too can be his treasured possession. Do you have a treasured possession? My children are treasured. My grandchild is treasured.
Oh, how I love them? All my heart is full. I treasure my husband and our relationship. My little bit of treasury is just a glimpse of God's treasure and of his people. So the little bit that we treasure, which seems at times all consuming is about a fraction, but a glimpse of how God treasures us. And when we treasure something, how often do we think on that person or that thing that we treasure a lot. And sometimes it's all the time. God states in the song mentioned earlier. My thoughts towards you are as countless as the sands of the seashore. Again, don't just listen to that as a platitude. But think about that, that his thoughts toward you toward me are as countless as the sand of the seashore. Do you think that your treasured possession is countless as the sands of the seashore? I know I don't because I get too distracted with other things.
Yeah. God thinks on me. And his thoughts are as countless, as counting grains of sand in all the seashores and all the world. And here's another thing God never slumbers, his eyes never closed in sleep. His thoughts are always toward us. He never grows weary and his love for us and the picture of a shepherd carrying a lamb. God gives us this illustration because he carries us close to his heart. If we let him what a beautiful word picture or given us to meditate upon and muse infusing our minds with this truth. There's so much beauty in scripture that reveals God's character bit by bit, at least spend time. And the more we read, the more we learn, the more wonderful we see the who and how our God is. He truly loves us with an enduring unchanging love, think on these things. And until next time, this is Sandra Vernon. -
Hi, this is Sandra Vernon with face society. And you're listening to the art of connection, woman to woman, heart, to heart messages from my heart to yours, because we, women are all about relationships and connections. This podcast brings you hope in becoming the best version of yourself so that you can build positive relationships
So much more. This is titled to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists and Danny Gokey. The lyrics are just phenomenal. I would encourage you to listen to the, to this song so much more. The question that goes with the song is what do you think about God? He is so much more than we can think or imagine. So who is God to you? Because many people will say they believe in God is he's in some lofty unattainable unreachable place. Does heaven caused you to think of clouds and harps and cherubs? Maybe God has become only a symbol to you, perhaps a cross hung around your neck or a Sunday. Ritual of going to church. What I can say is that he is so much more than we can imagine or comprehend. He has far more than we have ever dreamed of, but that may be part of the problem we don't think or imagined thoughts of God.
Now I'm not suggesting, suggesting that we try to construct his physical characteristics. We can speculate he was from the middle east so we can speculate what he might look like. And I'm not suggesting that we do that. I just want us to think on and come to know who he truly is. God is with those who are behind bars. He's also with those who are sitting at bars and those who own the bars, God is with the wealthy as well as the poor. He is with us on the mountain, top experience of life, as well as when we are navigating the valleys. He is with the downtrodden, the wounded, the hurt and the lonely God is full of loving kindness. One of my favorite artists, as I said, Danny, Gokey has this song more than you think I am the lyrics, paint a picture of God that we often do not think about.
He is not just a judge who condemns evil, but he is a loving God who reaches out to the needy and who reaches out to those who seek him. God is able to do far more than we could ever imagine. God is far more wonderful than we could ever dream. He is far more awesome than we can comprehend yet. He us in to learn of him. That to me is amazing. Those are the things we need to be thinking about. The creator of the universe. God almighty invites us in to learn of him, to get to know him. And since he is God, the creator of all things we to created in his image are to be creative. And part of that creativity is imagination. God is our fortress. Can you imagine a fortress? Think about that. What is a fortress to you? High thick walls, protection, security.
God is our fortress. God is our refuge. What would a refuge look like? That would protect you from all harm. God is that to us, our refuge, God says he will hide us under his wing. Now this is not to say he has wings, but his poetic verbiage lens, our imagination to that of a bird. Have you ever seen how the parent bird will cover her chicks to protect them? God does far more than this, but he paints for us a picture that we can imagine. And each of these word pictures, and there are tons of them found in scripture, invites us to imagine what God is like as he gives hints of himself and about himself in his word, he truly is more than we think he is. He is trying. And this meeting that he is God, in three persons, one God, three persons, God, the father, God, the son, God, the holy spirit.
He is omniscient. He knows our thoughts. He is omnipresent. He created time for us to live in and by that he is outside of time and therefore is with us always. He is omnipotent. He is all powerful, comforting to know that he can take care of us. God truly is more than we think he is. So let's check aside any false beliefs we have held dear and evaluate them. According to scripture, that's the standard to live by because that's the standard God gave us. He gave us his word. He has preserved it through the decades upon decades. Let's then take advantage of this privilege to get to know God through his word. True. So much has been signed, said, and done in Jesus' name. And most often not by his will, that we must return to the source. God's word to learn the truth of who he is.
And here's some of my favorite gems that I've put into my own words. Personalizing it. This reading, um, is from the devotional style, thought by thought translation of the new living translation for study. I said, I choose a word by word translation, such as the new American standard, 1995 edition. So here's from the new living translation. God knows everything about me. That's both frightening and a comfort. I can't hide from him. He knows everything about me, but the beautiful thing is he still loves me. He still sent his son to die in my place, doing something I could never do. He knows everything about me. God knows everything I do. God thinks about we so often his thoughts cannot be numbered. These are all from Psalm 1 39. God knew me before I was born. Jeremiah. The prophet writes, God knows and has good plans for me.
Jeremiah continues. God loves me with an everlasting love. God tells me that I can ask him. Now that is now. That is not a, I can't even say what I was going to say now is not that a wonderful privilege that God tells me. I can ask him anything. These all were from Jeremiah, the prophet, and then to continue in scripture looking to the new Testament in Matthew. Uh, well he records Matthew records in Matthew. Uh, the temp chapter are not two sparrows sold for a cent and yet not one of them will fall to the ground. Apart from your father telling us that God knows even when one of his sparrows fall to the ground, but the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear. You are of more value than the sparrows, everyone. Therefore, who shall confess me before men, I will confess him before my father who is in heaven.
That's pretty comforting to know that he cares for us. He knows even when the sparrows fall and yet he will not forget us too. That's a good reminder. Matthew also says in earlier chapters, I'm looking at chapter six, um, that God already knows. He already knows our needs. Let me see. I'm taking them home to turn there. Matthew 6 31 do not be anxious. Then what shall we eat? What shall we drink or with what shall we close ourselves for all these things. The Gentiles eagerly seek for your heavenly father knows you need all these things, but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow. For tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I love that reminder that God knows our needs. And then in, uh, Corinthians and in the second letter to the Corinthians, Paul and I like this to reminding us of God's comfort and care blessed, be the God and father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all affliction.
And he does it for a reason that continues so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort, with which we ourselves had been comforted by God, isn't that beautiful. He comforts us and then we can therefore comfort others. And then another letter that Paul writes to the Roman church in chapter eight, but he writes beginning in verse 35, who can separate separate us from the love of Christ shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword just that is written for thy sake. We are being put to death all day long. We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered, but in all these things, the tribulation, the distress, the persecution and famine, we overwhelmingly conquer through him who loved us. And Paul continues for, I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come nor powers nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord, pretty amazing truth there.
And so when he speaks to this, he means absolutely nothing. If we suffer calamity, it will not separate us from God nor change who he is. Life or death or angels or demons will not separate us from God. If we belong to his family by invitation, we cannot be separated from him. No fears, no worries, no anxieties, nothing in creation can separate us from who he is. See God truly is so much more than we can think or imagine, but we can start by doing that, thinking on God, learning more of him and of his beautiful, wonderful character that can never change. God is truly a God to be trusted until next time. This is Sandra Vernon.
Thank you for tuning in to the art of connection with me, Sandra Vernon, founder of faith, society, sharing messages from my heart to encourage personal growth and fulfillment so that each one of us can become the best version of ourselves. As we contribute to the world around us follow face society at Instagram and on Facebook. -
[00:00] The past, how do you view it? How does it impact your life? Do you find yourself dwelling there with sweet memories or perhaps the past haunts you with regrets or the what ifs or should have been? The past is powerful. It can be wielded as a powerful tool for growth or conserve as shackles keeping us in bondage, impaired and imprisoned and preventing us from living a joy filled life. I liked this quote. Past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. Does this quote resonate with you? Your unique past can be used as a reference point to learn and grow or are you residing there in the past hidden away with memories, both sweet and bitter. The past it raises its head often and tries to loudly declared that this is the way it is, the past. It can be used as a tool for shame to slither in with regret and condemnation impacting life now and the future.
[01:14] The past use this way serves no purpose but to ensnare and entangle each of us preventing us from living life on purpose and in our purpose. Ann Voskamp says that no amount of regret changes the past and no amount of anxiety changes the future. Sandra Vernon here and you are listening to the art of connection. On today's podcast, I will be talking about how the past can be used as a reference point while living in the present, as it also impacts the future. So the past. What comes to mind when you think of the past? Are you thinking of your time as a new bride or in a new career or perhaps further back to your school days? Perhaps you think about your time as a mom, joyous times yet often filled with regret because you wish you would've done this or that differently. With each memory. The question often arises as to why did I do this thing this way?
[02:22] Or why didn't I do this thing this way? Why did I allow my children to have smartphones so early? Why didn't die allow my children to have smartphones earlier? Why didn't I push my children to stick with learning music? Why did I push my children's stick? With learning music, you get the idea, the past dredges up wise, which really there's no answer except that you did or you didn't do that particular thing at that moment. It's in the past. There's no answer to the why and it's okay because I am convinced that we do our best at the moment and each season of our life. Hindsight, looking back, as the saying goes, it's always perfect. It's always 20 slash 20 vision. Looking back on the past, there is more clarity, and I'll talk about this more in a bit, but looking on the fat back on the past, it does not do any good to ask the why questions.
[03:30] There's no real opportunity for growth with the why questions, why keeps us stuck in regret and oftentimes with that regret is shame. The question that does help in looking at the past as your reference point, the question that does help are the ones that start with what? What can I learn from this experience in the past? What insight might I glean from this situation? How might I have done things differently and what can be applied to the now? Because no amount of regret, the asking the why questions, why did this happen, why did I do this? Why didn't this happen? No amount of those questions or those regrets will change the past, but only further wound our soul, the past. It impacts the person you have become just as water flows through a canyon. Over time it carves out the channels whether deeper or wider.
[04:36] So to the past, it creates channels in our soul that run deep and wide. If we focus on it too much, and here's what I'm suggesting for us today, not to live life. Looking back, can you imagine driving and using only your rear view mirror to drive? It would be catastrophic. So my suggestion is that we live life forward. We learned from looking back, but we are designed to live life forward. You and I can always look back and think of the myriad ways we could have done things differently. This is where the hindsight is 20 slash 20. You now have more information, more wisdom, more experience now than you did in the past. So of course you may have done things differently given the opportunity, but how does that help you? Now? It doesn't. It does nothing but keep you in slaved to regret.
[05:39] So here's what I suggest. Look back on the past, if the memories are fond and sweet and bring you joy, enjoy them. Let the emotions at the time in the past be felt, but then move on, pondering sweet memories when they letting them cut the deep and wide suite channels of memory to visit and enjoy, but even with sweet memories, we are not to linger away our life living in the past and the parts of your past at bring you pain and I'm convinced we all have pain in our past. I would like to suggest that you allow yourself to visit the emotions, feel them, perhaps even share this with a trusted friend or a wise and trusted counselor, but do not navigate your life in these painful places. Do not live in the past. Have regrets. Do not reside here in the past. That is not what leads for the past is a reference point from which we learn.
[06:46] It's not a place to reside, and when you live in the past, especially the negative, painful past, your world becomes smaller. Your life becomes more entangled with bitter emotions that should not have the power it does over you. When you must visit the past as a reference point, remember, that's all it is, a point of reference from which to learn and not to question why. If we try and reside in the past, the entanglement, the stories we begin to create or retail ourselves and embellish harms and wounds our soul, so rather than residing in the past, we must use it as a reference point and then ask ourselves, what might I have done differently that I can apply to my life living forward? What can I learn from this event in the past? How might I develop more empathy for others who are now going through what I went through in the past?
[07:53] What choices are before me now that my past will help me make a decision? And if seeking forgiveness is necessary, then do that. Sometimes it is appropriate to go to the person with sincerity and face to face asked for forgiveness. In other cases, it might require a phone call or a letter because of distance, but I strongly advise against direct messaging or texts or any other quick electronic way to communicate that request for forgiveness. If you do not think it wise to seek the personnel you wounded because there may be a real possibility of wounding them again by dredging up things they wanted left alone. Perhaps just write a letter to them with no intention to send it and then ceremonially destroy it. Don't let regret and bitterness holds you in the past by not seeking forgiveness and if you need to forgive someone, do that.
[08:58] Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget the pain a person caused you, but rather that you are no longer choosing to allow that person that caused you pain to have power over you, that you are no longer replaying in your mind the consequences. They should suffer for the pain they called you, caused you, and I can say most of the people who caused me pain, really deep pain are not even aware they had yet, if I remain mired in the past, the pain and flipped it on me in the past wounds me still, the only way to relinquish this power over me is to forgive and then I interest God to take care of the rest and this whole process. It's always better together. Seek out that trusted friend, perhaps read her the letter you want to send and either have her help her edit it, toned down the intensity and harshness and unnecessary verbiage will whittling it down until it just a concise message that needs to be conveyed and send it or most of the time, just destroy it. When you destroy the letter, you have the satisfaction of your friend who entered into your pain and you've been heard and understood.
[10:24] I have done this time again, time and again, I've poured out on paper, my pain, my rage, my wound, my hurts. I poured it out until it was empty. Of all the bitter emotions, I allowed myself to feel all the emotions and did not judge myself as I felt them. I just poured it all out and after I finished I will then take the letter out to a our fire pit and ceremonially burnet symbolizing that I was done with this part of the past. I wasn't gonna live it any longer
[11:01] and if I felt compelled I would then write a wise minded letter keeping the emotions of the past in check. Even then I would not send this letter, the mild version until I had someone read it and edit it or advise that I just burn it to and leave it be. It is a fine balance of when you share and when not to, but I found it. I find it so powerful just to pour my emotions out on paper if only for the purpose of getting it all spilled out on paper and then destroying it. So it is that fine balance of when to share and when not to. When it is beneficial for the recipient and when it is not. In most of my personal cases, I have found it's better to pour out pain on paper and then just ceremonially burn it to ashes and then let the past be.
[12:00] If it rears its ugly head again and I've had that happened, I remind myself that it is gone. It's but ashes, and on the very infrequent occasion I go through that whole process again of pouring it all out on paper and I love ceremonies. They are important to life ending chapters, starting new ones, burning those words of painful past. Turning the words to ashes is Cathartic for me and I returned to [inaudible], cancel quote, and I'll finish it. No amount of regret changes the past. No amount of amount of anxiety changes the future and she ends with any amount of gratefulness. Changes the present. My dialysis say it also impacts our future and heels are passed. So I am this podcast thinking of you, dear listener, don't let the past of your life rule you. Don't let your past rob you of the joy for the future.
[13:05] Use your past only as a tool to learn and grow and heal. Allow the past to be used only as a reference point, not a place to reside. You are meant for so much more. You are beloved, unique and wonderful residing where you do not belong in the past. We'll keep the wonderful you hidden away from the world. Your gifts and abilities and talents are needed. Don't stay hidden away in the past. Let your beautiful you shine through. Until next time, you've been listening to the art of connection. I'm Sandra Vernon, your host. Please consider subscribing to get the latest and all episodes of the art of connection. You can follow me on instagram or facebook at faces it. Give me a hello on a post telling me you just listened in and I would love to hear from you. -
Do you ever feel out of control? Sometimes? Do you get frustrated with the things you attempt to control, knowing or quickly realizing that you can only do your part and cannot control the entire situation? Control when we feel out of control or have no control over certain things, we become frustrated, irritated on, done. On today's podcast, the issue of control is the topic. I'm Sandra Vernon and you are listening to the art of connection, so I'm today's topic. I'll be speaking about control out of control or in control. It is a stressor of life until you realize this secret. This is a good news and bad news scenario. Okay? Sounds a bit crazy. I know, but hang in there with me. The whole issue of control is just a perspective shift. Really. That's all it is. I want to challenge you to make a perspective shift cleaned to the perspective that it is good news, that there is not a whole lot in your life.
You and I can control. That's really good news. It lets us off the hook. How is that you ask? Well, as we let ourselves off the hook from being a champion for every cause, from taking care of everyone's problems, from attempting to control everything in our realm, we learned this as really good news because there's a whole lot in life that is not within our control though we'd like to and those things that are not in control or in our control. Those are the things that bring us frustrations. So for instance, we cannot control how our children behave 100 percent of the time. I'm sure many of you have experienced like I have going to a diner or to a party and only having your children behave in a way you know you did not teach them to behave or we can't control how our spouse interacts in social events.
They may say certain things or do certain things that us we're. We're thinking, oh my goodness, why did he or she do that, but it's not in our control or it's not in our control how politics are done or how people treat one another and the list goes on. I would like. I would imagine you can think of more scenarios of things we would like to control, but we can't, so what is within our control, a very powerful bit is within our control. It is so powerful. It makes changes to our life in our thinking. So what is within our control, our thought life. This is within our control, how we manage our thought life is within our control and our response to life circumstances and life's happenings and the outcomes in life. This to a degree is within our control. How we respond to each of these circumstances, happenings or outcomes. We can control our response. We can control our thought life and we can control what we're going to fill our thought life width. So we are each in charge of our thought life. We each are in charge of how we will manage our thoughts and how we will fill our minds. What Diet will we feed our minds and our brains. This is within our control and how we respond to these things. This too is within our control and that's really good news.
The things we can control are amazingly powerful things and we can to a degree control how we spend our time. We can control our thoughts and our responses and the actions that follow our thoughts, which leads me to the three key words as it applies directly and specifically to our individual lives. Here are the three perspective changing words. Remember, these three words apply to our thoughts, our responses, our actions. So what are these three words? I am responsible, responsible for my thought life, responsible for my actions and responsible in my response to circumstances and outcomes.
These are the areas of life that are within our ability to control and therefore we can say, I am responsible, I am responsible for my thought life and what I fill my mind with. I am responsible for my actions and how I choose to treat others. I am responsible and it is within my control to determine my response. In any given circumstance, I am responsible for how I will spend the 24 hours given to me each day. Those are pretty powerful things that we are in control of and it will change our life. So more good news I hear by relieve you of the idea that you must be in control of and responsible for everyone else. I encourage you to work on the areas of your life that you can control. You can choose what to think on, what brain food are you feeding, your hungry mind?
We can fill it with dark and angry things. There is certainly an open buffet menu of that around us or we can fill and feed your mind with positive things, true things, things that edify and build up. One another encouraging and helpful things that help us grow. We can choose what to listen to and what we will fill our mind. For instance, what type of music with its powerful message do you choose? Listened carefully to the words, what type of podcast? What type of opinion journalism do we pay attention to? These all impact our minds. What I'm suggesting is something that must be practiced just as our physical bodies need nourishment to function well and enjoy good health. So to our minds and science confirms what we already know, that our mind and our bodies are interlinked. Her body's in a sense our Avatar, while our mind, our soul indwells, our Avatar, how we care for our body, or we can call it our Avatar, impacts our mind and soul, just as what we fill our minds impacts our soul and how we move about life in our body, beaten down with stinking thinking is eventually revealed in the care of our body, such as never really getting dressed, not walking about with confidence and joy.
Stinking thinking is within our control to exterminate, but like any extermination project, it takes work. So choose how you will respond to any given situation. It's a mindset that we must practice and make a choice to do. This is not to say that you must anticipate each situation, but that you purpose to respond in a positive light rather than the worst case scenario or a negative light. And oftentimes this means pausing before responding. So let me give you an example or two from my life. For instance, if I expect a friend to call me back, ready with some news and, and, uh, perhaps having some kind of social plans and she doesn't call me, I can immediately jumped to, oh great. She doesn't really care about me. She's angry with me. Um, I'm not that important to her or I can pause and think she's probably busy.
Perhaps something came up. Perhaps there's an illness in her family. This is where I can choose how I'm going to respond to a situation that's out of my control. I don't know why she didn't call, but I did take the time to respond in a way, putting myself into her story and what may have been. I'm learning that to take the time to stop and think before I respond makes a huge difference. And also I'm finding the practice of putting myself in to that other person's story helps also stopping and thinking in a way, walking in their shoes before I respond or jump to negative conclusions. So I purpose in my mind to respond in a way that's going to be in a positive light and perhaps be empathetic towards what my friend might be going through so we can also choose how we will spend our days.
There are commitments such as work and childcare and we need time for sleep and nutrition. We choose how to fill the hours of myths, these commitments, and it's amazing to find that we actually have many hours that we can choose how to spend time and how we're going to fill our minds. I like to suggest to my ladies with a face society to do a daily delight and this is something that I am encourage women to continue to do. Why? Because it's not only good for us physically and mentally, but it also nourishes our soul, that the challenge is to pursue 20 minutes of delight each day and it pays off in huge debit dividends as well as it affects those around you. The daily delight challenge simply requires you do something for 20 sustained minutes, something that you enjoy. It could be reading a book, watching a movie, sitting on a park bench and enjoying the fresh air or out with a friend for coffee.
Do something that you can delight in each and every day and watch how your mind shift changes. In essence, you are getting your cup filled so you can pour it out into others' lives. It's not a selfish endeavor. It's actually a very positive good endeavor. This daily delight pursuit, so daily delight. This too is within our control. It is a choice to add it to how you will spend some of your 24 hours and it's just 20 minutes choices. In summary, the things that are in our control are what we will think on, how we will respond, what words will we use? How will we spend our days and the actions or deeds within our days. So what will you think on affirmations? If you were to journal all your thoughts, what might you find? Are they positive life giving and life building thoughts? Just think of some of the self talk you do.
Do you honor and celebrate your daily accomplishments regardless of the size and scope, or do you more often remind yourself of a negative messages heard through the years or do you remind yourself that I didn't get anything done? I only got the laundry folded. Celebrate that to begin the practice and cultivation of positive thoughts. I like to use index cards with statements that encouraged me. We need to speak to ourselves as we speak to others that we care about in a positive, uplifting, building up manner. It takes practice. For instance, with exercise and affirmation. Every day I exercise, I get stronger and more healthy and not this not this message. I need to exercise so I won't be or stay fat. That's a negative statement or this affirmation. I will read one song and one proverb each day. Not this. Don't say this to yourself. I haven't yet done this, but I need to do this so I'm a better person or I should get to this every day.
Don't make it a should. Make it a positive affirmation. I will read one song and one proverb each day to build my mind. Eliminate any negative bent on your message to yourself. Write down the message you want to speak to yourself. Look for any negative words if need be, rewrite it, and if you need help, you can dm me at face society on either instagram or facebook. I would be happy to help you out here. It does take practice, but it's so worth it. Brain food, books, podcast, music. They all impact our thought life, the thing we are in control of. If you're ready to make a change, it is time to do an evaluation. Then a clearinghouse of what you fill your mind with what you put in your mind will spill out in words and actions and attitude. So ask yourself, what kind of diet are you giving your mind and how will you respond?
Think of the other person's story. As I said in my example, try to put yourself in their shoes before responding or jumping to a conclusion. This prevents us from responding in irritation, annoyance or anger because their story, their opinion, their perception difference from years. No matter how strong your conviction is that you are right, ask the other person more about their story. Yes, they may use the contemporary catchphrase their truth, but we know it's a story or their perception or their opinion. Listen intently. Listen, ask questions and then be slow to respond. Slow and thoughtful. This takes practice, but with anything, if it's worth pursuing, it takes effort and again, this will pay off hugely in your relationships. Think about what words will you use. It's a practice to be positive and using uplifting words. Slow to speak, slow to respond, slow things down on your end and allow yourself time to formulate words that are for Edification, Aka building others up with practice and over time you'll change your default response from the negative to the positive, and I guarantee all of us default to the negative.
It's what we do naturally, but I challenges ladies to think on the positive practice. Fill your mind with those positive things and then how will you spend your days, your schedule, your time, your days are within your choice and power to control your schedule shouldn't run you. You should be able to run your schedule. There are work day hours, childcare and family time, sleep, meals, and we have some ability to control these events, but more importantly, how we'll use the rest of your time, meal time and family time. We have the power and a bit of control. How this is spent, is it hurried and hectic with a dash of chaos or perhaps it's even nonexistent? Is it within your sphere? It is within your sphere and realm of control to change this. This goes for time with children and time with family sleep. This is a priority because our brains more than our body needs.
The average eight hours of sleep each night to function well. This to a degree is within our control, but how we use our nighttime ritual to cultivate good sleep is within our control too. I highly recommend limit the blue screen time. Eliminate any kind of blue screen time, at least an hour before bed. Wind down from work, no working right up until you hit the Hay. There are things we can control in the nighttime ritual that will help with sleep and your work day, your employer, or if you're self employed or an entrepreneur, you dictate the hours you work each day, each week, but within those hours is flexibility. How you spend your time that's within your choice and the remaining time. How do we spend it? It is within our control to choose what to do with these hours on average, after we get our sleep, after we have our meals, after we do our work, we each have a surplus of about 30 hours a week.
I was surprised at that statistic, so how will you use this gift of time? Let's make it perfect, purposeful living life with intent. These things are within our control, but it is a weary process of change on our own. The only true way to have the sustainable change is to have a new nature, a new mind, and a new life. When you get a new home item like a vacuum cleaner or a closet organizer or Taurus toys for your children, there's almost always the manufacturer's directions. The designer of the product provides directions to either put the item together and let you know how it is best used via the design, so too with our life. Humanity is by design. The manufacturer of life knows how best we live it according to his design to be fully satisfied, we must be fully fulfilled in our nature and this is done in Christ alone, created in his image by design.
We are most happy and fulfilled living life according to the manufacturer's directions. So first we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Then we're able to love others. We learned to put off the old way of living, Aka the self centered, self absorbed way of living and put on the new way of living in Christ Jesus. This still requires some self focused and that we reflect and meditate and no longer let the things that hinder our purpose remain in our life and what might these things be. A lot of them, it's different according to each person. It is a personal thing. Specific for summit maybe absorbed the time of the gym and getting a ripped body for others. It might be eating not for nourishment, but just to feel better. For some, it may be absorbing with the absorption, with the being the best mom.Stay at home mom, homeschool mom. These are good things as long as they are, as long as they're not all consuming things that hinder us from our God ordained purpose in life, so renewing our mind. The areas within our control are the areas that Jesus asks us to surrender to him and in so doing there is peace. There is purpose and there is a sigh of relief that we don't have to fix it all. We do our part, filling our mind and our thoughts with good things and making our words go through this same gatekeeper of evaluation. Before you reply to someone or even want to speak things, ask yourself is what I want to say true is what I want to say. Honorable. Is it commendable? In other words, is it all a good benefit to the listener and in doing our part, we then allow God to do his work in our life because to love others?
Well, we must first love God, loving God and abiding in his presence is what empowers us to each to reach out to others in love and compassion, so feeling out of control. It is an uncomfortable feeling to put it mildly, like a whirling dervish. We try to do so many things, fix so many things, control so many things that we feel are left feeling on done and out of control and sometimes our our emotions run a mock, not a pleasant place to be or dwell, and sometimes we are frustrated at the lack of control in our life. It is annoying until we remember this frustration signals that we are picking up things that are not ours to deal with today. I am this episode encouraging you to control what is in your realm, your thought life, your response to life, your action in your life, and how you're going to spend your time.
I'm here to help you in this journey to awaken to the purpose of your life. Drop me a DM on face. Sit either on instagram or on facebook, and if you'd like the opportunity to work with me, I'm here for you. Thanks for tuning in today. This is Sandra Vernon with faces it and you've been listening to the art of connection. Please consider subscribing to the art of connection so you can receive the latest episodes or even those back in the archive, and then if giving a rating that would be terrific too. I would really appreciate it. -
Transitions are a part of life. We each go through them and for many of us, it is a transition from maidenhood to marriage and motherhood and like me, you may have arrived at Maven Hood. These transitions make life a roller coaster ride for sure. Today's guest is a woman who was familiar with adventure and life transitions. Her kindness and ability to reach out and connect with other women is a blessing. Before marrying Adriane was a missionary and when she returned state side worked as an educator. She is a wife to Keith and step mom to two delightful teenagers. Adrianne is also a partner with her husband in Strategic Edge Life and business coaching. She's an avid reader and loves homesteading. Their 30 acre Waggoner Woods farm, in her free time. Adrianne enjoys being creative in the kitchen. You may also find her reading on her front porch or taking the four wheeler out. Rides with her husband were enjoying coffee with girlfriends. It is my distinct pleasure and honor to have Adrian Wagner joined me today. Welcome Adrian, and thank you for joining me as your guest.
It's my pleasure. I'm delighted to be here. Sandra.
Well, that's great. Well, I'm going to just jump right in. I know we have lots to share. Um, you have some exciting stories to share with your adventures. So let me just jump in with this first question or statement rather, tell me about your travels both as a missionary and an adventure.
Okay, well, I started off traveling at a fairly young age. I was about 13 years old and I traveled to Barcelona for a mission trip with my church. Um, it was during the 1992 Olympics and after two weeks in Spain we, uh, were able to share the gospel with some people that were in Barcelona for the Olympics. And then we have a friend of mine and I traveled by train through the Pyrenees mountains in Spain to a small coastal village in France called gay. And I ended up staying with some of my mother's friends. Um, this woman's name was patty and she and my mother knew each other from growing up in Los Angeles and um, they were friends from our church, your home church and Patty had married a Frenchman and she traveled back to France every summer. They were dancing. He was a choreographer and she was a dancer.
She was a ballet dancer, so every summer they would go back to France. And um, when I was traveling to France for my first time, uh, we stayed with the family and their relatives. So actually patty wasn't there, but, uh, it ended up being the relatives of her husband. So, um, and stayed on the, on the beach and this small coastal town. It was just lovely. And, um, after a week of staying down in hurry, I took a train with my friend and we went up to Paris and that is where I met up with Patty and patty showed me around Paris. We visited the museum. She talked to me about the history of France. We walked the cobblestone streets and eight and the cafes of Paris. And quickly I fell in love and this started a long term appreciation for the French language and culture.
So I returned back to my home in Los Angeles and I started my freshman year of high school that following year and I signed up for French one and that started, um, many years of studies, a French. I continued throughout high school and into college and ended up getting a degree in French. So she played to the seed that I eventually watered. And, you know, I've really enjoyed that part of, um, of learning and growing. Following high school graduation, I spent three months in Switzerland. Um, I was studying the Bible and I'm following my three months there. I ended up going to India on a, another mission trip, um, while I was in India. We served in some of Mother Teresa's orphanages and we shared the gospel with the Indian people. I was 18 when I went and, um, these two trips back to back, uh, they were. Both were life changing, opening. I'm going at such an impressionable age. And, um, I returned to Europe to do some sight seeing, um, after India I visited Florence and the Amalfi coast in Italy. Um, and I did that with some friends and I felt at home being Italy, I, I'm half Italian, my dad is all Italian and I felt right at home being in that culture, I loved the warmth than the art and of course the delicious foods. So that was a lot of fun.
I returned to the states and I started college and after some indecision about what to study, I landed on elementary education because I loved working with kids and I had the French major. And during college I spent two summers on the coast of Normandy beaches studying the French language. And while I was there I took a couple weekends to do some exploring and um, visited London and Amsterdam. Um, wow. Yeah. And so I completed college in 2002 and I had a boyfriend from college. We had broken up, but he remembered from our time together that I liked. I was interested in Africa. So he put me in touch with a school in Senegal, Africa. And I ended up teaching a, it was an international school, but it had a Christian emphasis. It was like a mission school. And I spent a year there and I taught third graders. Um, they came from many different backgrounds. I heard a variety of different languages in my classroom. They're from all over the. And um, I just loved it. It was a lot of fun. So my favorite part of, of my travels was just broadening my view of the world and meeting people, seeing new things, hearing different languages. And um, of course the art and architecture were unique and beautiful. And um, I, I just appreciated that. And the food was great. It was great to have exposure to all those different flavors.
Well, that, that makes me wonder in, and we'll want to ask this question. Have you, um, you said the food and of course just the beauty of all the different lands you saw, but I, I wonder, did you find like having a meal, was it different? Like did they, do the different cultures approach the mealtime differently than perhaps we did in the state?
I'm sure you can relate to this because I know you and Robert went to France this recently within the past couple of years, but I loved the way the French people approach meal time. It was an experience. It was not just sit down and fill your stomach. It was a, it was something to enjoy. It took hours and they would savor it with good wine and good conversation and long into the evening. And um, it really set the stage for the way I like to eat at home, which is don't rush, take your time, enjoy the company and enjoy the food. I really, that's one of the reasons why I love to cook is because I want it to be an experience for the people that I'm feeding. So, um, it's just, it's fun for me. I really enjoyed that part of France. And um, another example was when I was in Africa, they had a tradition of eating what they call it, eating around the pool, and they would have a big plate or a bowl that would feed up to 10 people. And you would have people sit all the way around in a circle and everyone would use their hands and they would eat from this communal bowl. And um, I enjoyed that too, that I thought that was a really interesting way of sharing community and sharing life sharing food. And um, uh, so that was, that was a lot of fun too.
Oh, I like that. And I like how you're, you've incorporated that in your home because I think it's a lost art to have the family dinner or time together and we're so rushed with different things. But I like how you've incorporated that just from your adventures and your travels. And boy, as a mom, I'm listening to you, you know, do your missionary travels even as a, as a teenager, young teenager. I know you were accompanied. I know you had chaperones, but still I'm like, oh my goodness, what a great adventure. And I'm sorry, what, what, uh, what country in Africa?
Guyana, which is on the coast. It's on the western side. I'm kind of in central, a little bit further north, but um, but, um, on, on the western side. So.
Okay, well, and, and I know you said that you just enjoyed all of them and I didn't fully realize all the different countries you had visited. Um, and, and really in a short time, it's, it's amazing and I loved hearing that story. Now, did you have a favorite country or a favorite, something during your travels? Was there one thing that just stood out more than others?
There was, I had to talk to when I read that question because of all the places I've visited. My favorite place is um, I'm, I'm, I guess you just say I'm the Stalberg, but my family, my grandparents are from a coastal town in California. It's from the Monterey Peninsula and of all the places I've been to, I love that area. It's just, it's casual, but it's sophisticated and it's just beautiful. The coast is so pretty. It's rocky. It's a little bit chilly. There's a lot of fog. So I do love the Monterey Peninsula and probably due to the fact that I have a lot of special memories there with my grandparents, but I'm also just because of the beauty of the area, but when I traveled on my own, I'm abroad. I love the city of Positano. That was my favorite city and that's only a mouthy coast in Italy. Um, it's also a coastal town and it's built up into the rocks and I'm just overlooking this breathtaking view and um, so that, that was something that stood out to me.
Yeah, that sounds wonderful. It sounds marvelous and I'm hearing with each of your stories just how you've connected, um, with, with people over, you know, over food, over art, over reaching out when you're doing the missionary work and I just love hearing that. Um, did you find though, when you did some of your travels, I know you're very fluent in French, but did you find in your travels, was language ever a barrier? How did you.
My French, when I first went to France, I actually didn't speak any French because I had just been exposed to the language. And the culture when I was 13, so at that time I had to just rely on a, it was interesting when I was visiting with those people, we would have to just try to get by because they didn't really speak any English, so we would just do our best to try to communicate and, you know, I don't even know how we did it and when I think back, but um, we, you know, we, we respected each other and we enjoyed each other's company even though there was very little we could say so, um, but then there were some people in other, more of the larger cities. Um, a lot of those people did speak English. So, and that was one thing I found in all of my travels to Africa and all over and of course in India, but, um, people spoke English and I was impressed with how many languages they spoke. I mean, so it is different than what we're used to here in the states because people will just speak second languages sometimes five or six languages fluently. So I was really impressed with that. Um, but, so I found that between my knowledge of French at different times and then also just other people's knowledge of English I was able to get by, but I did have some interesting and funny experiences at time.
I can imagine. That's great. Well, tell me a little bit about your life. So we've heard about your travels and I love to hear that. Boy, it's inspired me to want to go travel some more. But um, tell me about your life and work before you got married. I know you, you mentioned that, um, when you went to Senegal you were, you were a third grade teacher, but then you came back state side. What did you do when you return stateside?
So, I have done a variety of different things. I think that I inherited a very adventurous spirit from my maternal grandmother. She was just a free spirit and she loved to travel but she, she loved to just try new things. So all throughout my twenties and thirties I moved a lot. Um, I was in both southern and central California, of course in Atlanta. And then in Dallas, which is where I got married, I met Keith, I didn't get married there, but I met my husband there. I was there for three years before I met Keith and I moved to Arkansas. So lots of traveling. Um, and in many of those places I did teach elementary school. Um, I also taught junior high a little bit when I taught. I taught some French, so I taught junior high, um, French. Um, but I, I dabbled in a few other things. Um, I also managed a French antique store in Carmel, California. And I worked in customer service at a lighting company in Atlanta.
Okay. Well, again, Adrianne, I'm just hearing and I love this just because here we are on the art of connection and I'm hearing how every advent of in every stage of your life, like you're making these connections with people and, and of course being a school teacher, you're, you know, you're really connecting with these young lives and making an impact. So that's cool to hear that. Now the next step, and I know you had mentioned, so through your twenties and thirties, you then got married and getting married as delightful, but it's a transition and it can be a challenge. What did you find were some of those challenges for you, you know, living a single life and then now getting married and not only getting married, but all of a sudden you're a mom too?
Well, Keith and I have loved each other deeply from the start, but we haven't always seen eye to eye and um, we've had a lot of things to work out. We did get married later. This was keith second marriage and this was my first, but I got married at 36, so I had lived a lot of my life on my own. I was used to my independence. Um, and um, we came from very different backgrounds. Me growing up in Los Angeles and moving around to many different large cities and Keith is from a small town in Arkansas. So we had a lot of things that we saw differently in that regard. Um, we have a blended family so we have some different issues that you would find if you were to just get married without kids. So that's something that we've had to navigate through. And to top it all off, we're both very fiery, so this has created some conflict over four years of marriage. But, um, we have tried to remember to stay humble. We apologize often and we try to love each other the way that God loves us and um, so that, that's carried us through, um, and we learned a lot along the way and try to do things different each go around. So, um, yeah, it's been a lot to, a lot to grow in. I've, I feel like I've been on like a fast track to learning and growing in maturity, but you know, that's kind of comes with the territory with marriage.
Yep. Absolutely. And I think what you've just hit on a key thing with marriage and in a relationship is if you're putting the other person first and loving them the way God loves us, kind of all works out, then, you know, even with the struggles, even with the challenges. So that was really cool to hear you say that especially, you know, as you said, you and you and Keith came in later in life. Um, I think when, you know, you're in your early twenties, you kind of grow together, but when we've made it through our twenties and into our thirties and get married, as did I, it's different. You, you kind of get established. But it's really wonderful to hear how you and Keith, you're strong personalities, but you're still making your marriage work and thrive because you're loving each other as God loves us.
Yeah. It's a journey and we're always learning new things. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I, I love, I love my husband and I love, you know, I love marrying marriage with him. It's, it's an adventure and it's, um, it's wonderful.
That's great. And you said for years, is that right? January it'll be for. That's wonderful. Well, also I know something about your husband that he does indeed have a thriving coaching counseling business that you're a partner with him in it and he has often attributed his ability to do what he does because of his partnering with you. So what is your role in the business?
Well, I have many different roles in our marriage. Keith is on the phone all day. He works long hours, long days. So I, I field a lot of his emails and I respond to the ones that I can. I also leave him a list of the ones he needs to get back with. I will handle his schedule changes. I'll get his new clients taken care of. Um, I'll check in with this current clients to hear about their progress and any feedback they might want to share about their experiences and coaching. Um, I handle all of the paperwork and manage a lot of the, behind the scenes details, um, any curve balls that are thrown, I try to handle those. Um, so there's not really one thing that I do, there's a lot of things, um, but it, it is exciting work and I feel like we get to love on people and help people navigate through life's challenges and um, you know, be on the cutting edge of just a lot of great stuff. So it's, it's wonderful and I'm, I'm always learning new things, um, from Keith's clients, from just work and everything that it brings. So, um, it's, it's an honor to be a part of it and um, it's something I'm very thankful for.
Well, it is and it's so exciting and as I had said that your husband attribute so much of what he's able to do because of you and that you guys are partnering together in that and, and helping him really connect with his clients too. And so that's just another terrific thing. I realize another transition you went through was to leave the Dallas Fort Worth area and you've grown up in and pretty much been in large metropolitan areas and now you're out in the country and you're truly homesteading. And that alone is just a huge transition. So what was that like when you, when you left Dallas Fort Worth and now you're in this small, I can't even call it a town, but you're definitely rural and you definitely are homesteading. So what was it like with that transition and how did you begin to make connections in your new home and area?
Well, um, it has been a transition Los Angeles, Atlanta, Dallas, and I'm used to the hustle and bustle, you know, and I, and I love that. I get energy from it. Um, I love variety and complexity and change. So moving to Romance Road and Romance, Arkansas has been a transition, but I have fallen in love with country life. I actually enjoy and savor the slower pace and the moments of peace. Um, and as of right now, I can't imagine life any other way. Um, to give you one example of something that I, I just find charming. Our neighbor across the street, they, um, whole hosted a wedding shower, or actually, no, it was a wedding reception, wedding reception for their daughter. And so we had all the community come out and we had country music playing and buckets full of crawfish and all different sorts of conversation going on and it was a cultural experience for me. I had never had anything like that. So those are some of the things that we get to do in our neck of the woods and um, it's, it's new for me, but I'm always learning new things from the people and um, it's, it's been great. And thankfully Keith and I get to do a lot of traveling. So I feel like I get the best of both worlds.
Yes, that is wonderful. Well, did you find, um, just because. Yeah, as you know, we live on a small farm here in New Jersey and we would have people come from the city and whether it be a Manhattan or Philadelphia and they were just, they would remark about the smells and they would remark that there's no lights on the streets. There's no streetlights. Was, was that a huge change for you and how quiet it was?
Why is, I mean you can't see any neighbors and um, it's, it's just different and you feel it is kind of isolating, but, and in some ways that's not a bad thing, you know, so just to feel unplugged and um, and just away from all of the activities. So, um, and as far as the smells are concerned, well I don't know so much about that. We did have some chicken so I don't know, we've probably got a little bit of smells from that, but we'd love to get some more animals on our property. I think it would be neat to get some horses or um, made it some cattle or goats. We'll see.
Oh, well that's, that's awesome. Um, and then also because again, you're, you're used to these large metropolitan areas and now you're in this very rural country setting. Um, so how did you get plugged in with your community? Like what are some of the things that you've done to get plugged in and connect with your community?
And a big part of our life is Keith's family here, living in Arkansas. He has a lot of family in the area. And, we spend a lot of our time with his mom, she lives nearby, um, and Keith has promised to care for her after his dad died. So that's a big part of our life. We spend a lot of our Sunday meals with her or pop in on her and I'm trying to look after her and take care of her or do whatever we can to support her. Um, so, and she's become a friend of mine. She's a very special lady, um, but we also travel about an hour and a half, um, from where we live to visit some other relatives. So like I said, family is a big part of keysight. His kids, you know, that's another big part of how we spend our time or when his kids are with us.
His kids attend a private school. It's a great school. So we've gotten to know some of the people through, through there. And um, we're also building, I'm building some friendships with ladies at church. I'm in a Bible study and I serve alongside some fantastic women. So, um, we, we get to socialize. I'm primarily in those circles, um, it's growing, we're trying to build more and then of course with Keith's business, um, he just has some wonderful clients so we just, we feel connected even though we are kind of out in the country, we still feel like we are connected to a lot of people. So, um, it's, it's something that we had, we still have to be intentional about it, um, because it would be easy to just kind of hide away in our house and not see anybody, but, you know, I, I've made it a point to really want to get out and, and visit with people and build those relationships because, um, I just need that for my wellbeing. I need that to feel like I, uh, like I'm connected and I have a place where I belong. So that's important.
Absolutely. Oh, that's wonderful. Well, one final question for tonight. I would like to know, and I think our listeners would like to know, what do you like to do for fun or relaxation or entertainment or all the above?
Well, um, you mentioned this earlier, but one of my favorite past time since we've moved out to the country is going on a four wheeler ride with my husband. We do that probably three to four times a week. We go out during his lunch break, he has an hour and a half in between clients on most days. So we will, take a ride around our property, go the dogs will come with us and we'll just get out and get some fresh air and um, that's just wonderful to get out in nature and um, have fun, get a little mud on our beats. So that's always great. Um, and um, I, you know, I'm, I'm trying to think of some of the other things that I really enjoyed doing in my free time. I mentioned some of them earlier, but I'm, I'm, I'm always trying to learn new things. So broadening my horizons, opening my mind up to new ideas. I'm reading is a big part of my life. I, and I'm having people in our home, we love to do that entertaining. So, um, it's, it's a variety of different things.
Yeah. Well that's great. I love the idea. That sounds wonderful too. I could see horses in your future because you could go out and do that too. We'd love it. Well, Adrian, I, if people wanted to get more information about you or about your husbands and your business and where might they find you on either social or some social media platform?
Could you, you can find more about you guys on facebook or instagram with my name. Adrianne resell Waggoner. Um, or you could find any more information about our business. Strategic Edge coaching through Keith's website. Uh, it's Keith M Waggoner. Um, and that is k e I t h m as in Morgan, w a g g e o n e r Dot com. And I am hoping to become more active on social media. It's kind of one of my, one of my goals. So hopefully you'll get a chance to, if you do check me out, you'll see some new information on there.
That's terrific. Well, Adrian, thank you so much for joining us tonight. Joining me tonight on the art of connection sharing your travels. I learned so much more about you that I didn't realize and just sharing with us how you're connecting with other people and how you're being intentional with your time tonight. You Bet, and for all of you that joined us, thank you so much for listening in on the art of connection. This is Sandra Vernon with Fe Society. You can find me on instagram or on facebook with face society and also with the art of connection. Please consider subscribing to this podcast and if you have time rating it as well because that certainly would help me out as well. Thanks again. -
There are many movements that promote empowering we women, yet with each new wave, we seem to lose our way a bit more. A good majority are not more in the foundation or anchored with the core issues. So on today's podcast I will be speaking about the power of femininity, feminine Queens and Feminine Warriors. We are meant to be feminine and Warriors. We are meant to be warriors in a uniquely Feminine Way. Warrior, Queens, Warrior, princesses, crowned and gowned yes, but being gowned were ready to fight too, and I don't mean to fight in a combat battle style that we think of when we say fight. The women do serve in this role and attempt to prove that we can do it all yet capable doesn't always mean we should now stay with me. Don't get mad and turn off. Please hear me out. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should or that it's the best, and this applies to many other women's movements in our contemporary culture, and these aren't necessarily grounded in the foundational issues, but have peripheral temp attempts to prove something.
There is a war that rages single, married with kids or without. We each play a role in this cosmic battle called life. It is not about eradicating the men and their masculinity, although there are certainly seems a movement to do this very thing. Men are needed to operate in life in their unique ways. We need their contributions to life and this world, not according to the current feminist dictates, but according to creation mandates, the war that rages. It's subtle and unseen. I know far too many angry women who with just a few additional inflammatory issues, rage at the injustice of it all. Certainly there are injustices, but these are not alleviated with anger or trying to totally dismantle what it means to be masculine. Women. We're not always right and men are not always wrong. The men who have been deplorable need to take responsibility for their horrible actions. Women, not all that men do is deplorable because not all men are rotten. Guys, our role as women has over time been misunderstood and misrepresented with culture shifts. There has been waves of feminism to reclaim what our roles are currently. There is what is known as the third wave feminism and perhaps there's even a fourth movement and it seems with each new wave we've drifted the mark of the issues, our anger and our raging at the injustice of it all has taken away from the core issues, so like with the first edition history books, subsequent additions often drift from the first hand account. It's not as accurate and with each addition, that's after that, it becomes less accurate. This hold true for the feminism movement and more on that in a bit, but now what I see is a movement that could be called feminism as it is comprised of women and those supporting femininity. This rise and call to action aims to establish what femininity truly is from a firsthand account. It is an unseen seldom notice battle, but it is there and it has a cost. Whether we actively are participating or not, and with all this, it affects our soul. Are you feeling weary and worn out? Heartache and soul pain overtaking your life? An unsettled feeling of wanting to do something or knowing that there's more to this life because this unseen battle for femininity has a high price. It's been raging for decades, millennia because unnoticed, and even if we don't join in the core issues, still beckon to be addressed and we feel it at a very deep level. So ladies, where do you go when the ache of your heart begins to make itself known? That there's got to be more that these injustices with the femininity at movements attempt to address. Where do you go when that unsettled spirit announces the need for attention. Some of us do get involved in movements and they can be good. They can be a force of good, and then sometimes we fall into buying something in the attempt to feel better or perhaps indulging in food or we might get lost in a book or a TV series or daydreaming and fantasizing about a different life. Or perhaps you just allow your life to be consumed with business. Because if we stay busy, we don't have to deal with these hidden soul issues. We're too busy to address them.
Some of you I've seen go into super woman mode and try to do everything and all by yourself and you do a decent job with it. The appearances show that because then if we do it all, if we are that super woman mode, then we won't feel undone yet our soul still speaks differently and the longing is still there, so on the surface we may appear all together because we are busy, seemingly efficient, professional, and perhaps tough as nails. We are trying to prove that we can do it all and that we do all that men do, but on the inside we are losing ourselves. This conquest of what it means to be a woman. So we find ways to sue sue our souls and our minds. We do this, as I said, with fantasy food or some other numbing addictions to try to remedy the ache, the desire in our heart and these activities.They're not benign. They entangled themselves in our lives and in our hearts choking out the life we wish to live as they become relentless addictions or default habits. Perhaps our default response to life and hurt and pain and the struggle of what it means to be a feminine warrior, so each of these activities become an issue when we turn to them for solace in an attempt to find a sort of source of fulfillment, to know what it means to be feminine or a feminist. So what exactly is this battle we are involved in? What role do we women need to play in this cosmic war? What is our part in being a warrior, in partnership with others, regardless of gender. The battle began thousands of years ago and it is a war that continues to rage Adam and eve partners in all that God created fully living in the design for each of their unique lives.
They enjoyed fellowship with God, walking with him in the garden. Adam, first of creation had life breathed into him by God Almighty and Eve. God's crowning glory of his creation because he pronounced it. It all was very good when he arrived on the scene, but what eve did, she did her own thing and Adam, he abdicated. He just watched. He did not take up his role as masculine and eve tried to usurp her role as feminine and the consequences have affected and impacted humanity and all of life ever since you can read about this account in the first three chapters of the book of Genesis in the Bible, so now that all of human humankind destiny has changed, so has our role as women, and it began as a slow erosion of what femininity and masculinity we're designed to be the consequences they have been growing exponentially ever since.
If you read the biography of Jesus, you learn he elevated women to their proper place in culture, a culture that often degraded women and treating them as second class citizens. Jesus did more for women's movement than any wave of feminism. It's worth worth reading the account about him. The historical account. Alls you need to do is pick up one of the gospels. It's in the new testament of the Bible and read Matthew's account or marks or johns. These are firsthand accounts of Jesus's life with Luke, a second town to count. He interviewed people and had a firsthand account, but he wrote it and it's second account, but that's an aside, so these firsthand accounts of Jesus's life alltel about his stories of how he elevated women. Jesus was a supporter of women and perhaps I could even say the original founder of the women's movement really just read his biography, but you must read it enlightened by the culture of that era to see what he did for women and you will be amazed at what he did.
There is the account of the woman at the well. She was from the race of the Samaritans who were in constant contention with the Israelites. Least two races. They would avoid one another at all costs, even walking miles out of their way to avoid one village. Yet Jesus went straight through a Samaritan village. Met this woman. She just happened to be at the well midday to avoid the other women. Why? Because she had a tarnished reputation. She's had five different men in her life. Yet Jesus began to speak to her, which is taboo anyway, and more so because she is a Samaritan, so not only Jesus shouldn't have been speaking to a woman, he should have especially not have been speaking to this woman, but he spoke truth to her and she was amazed and her life changed, and then there was a woman with a bleeding issue.
It's been said that she may have been hemorrhaging going through the change of life we don't know, but he deals with this. She's had this issue for 12 years. The doctors haven't been able to do anything for her and she's out of money. No one could help her, and she spent all her money. She had on a cure. She heard of Jesus and learned that he was walking through the town, saw the crowds following him. She only touched Jesus, him of his cloak and was immediately healed, and then Jesus took the time to acknowledge her and her faith. This during an era where whirlwind were never to be noticed or acknowledged or seen yet, Jesus lifted her up by his word and his kindness and she was healed. And then there was this woman condemned for adultery and ladies, you and I know it takes two to commit adultery.
Yet this account of what Jesus did for this woman only has the woman publicly accused. I've heard it said that she was drugged out probably in the act of adultery. Where was her partner? My point in sharing this is to listen carefully what Jesus did for this woman. So the crowd had already picked up stones to throw at her, stoning her to death for adultery. And Jesus calmly told the crowd that the one who has no sin and he meant did no wrong, did everything right should be the first one to cast the stone. One by one, the stones were dropped, and the woman remained in Jesus's presence, Jesus, the only one could have cast the stone standing before her. Officer forgiveness and compassion Jesus tells her to now go and sin no more. He didn't expect perfection when she came, but he offered love and compassion.
So Jesus has done a lot for women because women were important. We are the crowning climax of creation after each creation act. You can read this in Genesis, God proclaimed it was good, but when he created eve, he said it was very good so we women were important and that's why the battle is important too, and women's role in life reveal what we reveal more of God's character created in God's image as his image bearers. What we women by our nature tell others about God, is that he is relational. He desires and enjoys intimate relationships. He nurtures and cares for his people. He has a heart for romance and he too has a beauty to unveil. These are all things we women do by nature and it is because this reflects part of who god is. Every woman to some and varying degrees enjoy romance and relationships.
We nurture and demonstrate compassion. Each one of us has a beauty to reveal a beauty that indwells us that is beyond just the physical beauty. We long to be noticed this. This is confirmed with social media as we curate photos and selfies and touch ups to present our most lovely physical self. We want to look our best. We want to shoot for looking pretty and some of us still pursue this and some of us have given up, but beauty, it's a delicate thing and the physical beauty, it will fade and go into cover, but the soul beauty that I'm talking about, the soul beauty that each one of us has, it's delicate and it will retreat into protection if threatened, and this happens far too often, this hiding this, this insulating against the pain takes many forms, some of which I referred to earlier and sometimes it just erupts in anger, so perhaps we become ultra tough acting as if we have it altogether, but we have a sneaking suspicion that we are operating as a fraud or maybe we become more reclusive and seek the hermit lifestyle where we feel isolated.
Insulated but safe femininity. Think of women depicted in art, beautiful form, beautiful spirit, peaceful her essence captured in her reclining, relaxed pose. Women in classic art had a softness about them. Gentle eyes, relaxed pose and face. She is inviting, peaceful and at peace with her femininity. Art communicates about the era and classical art captures women in their full power and beauty of femininity. We women have the power to inspire others to be better. We nurture comfort and invite others into deeper relationships with a message of peace, women operating and true femininity and true feminism. Demonstrate a facet of the message of God's prismatic character. All will be well. Beauty flows from the inside out and is often reflected in our appearance and part of the beauty and feminine power is the gift of presence, unguarded undistracted, fully present and engaged. Now, think of men depicted in our strength, in action, doing work, warring battles, etc.
This masculinity demonstrates another message about god that he will come through, that he is our victorious warrior. So our unique roles reflecT portions of god's character. These roles have come under attack, hiding the created order of things, and we thereby miss having god's character revealed to us and through us to others. Eve denied her created nature and essence of women when she reached to grasp and take control, and this has trickled down to us reaching, grasping, striving. Sometimes we are described as bitchy or clinging, annoying. Codependent, we have relinquished the power of being feminine and grasping for something that does not fulfill. We women often feel like we are too much because we hear it. We're too emotional, too sensitive, too harsh, too controlling too over the top to cleaning too bossy or there other messages we received that we are not enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not popular enough, and what we are called to do is to be a woman who arouses the best in her man and the best in those around her.
We're to wield our feminine power, not competinG with men or competing with other women, but to use our gifts and talents and abilities to reach and bless and encourage others, and this is where we are fulfilled and this is where a joy filled life comes. Equality, equal pay for equal work. That's a good thing, but meeting quotas so that women are represented in different forums isn't what we should be fighting for because meeting quotas does not create equality in any realm. If quotas are the goal than equal competence, competency is not. We want to fight the good fight of what it means to be a woman that uses her unique and alluring gifts and talents. Feminine queens, feminine warriors. This is who we are. This takes courage to live in our true identity. It is a brave woman who steps out in this role against the tide, leaning into our unique feminine mystique, and that's my challenge for me and for you to live in that feminine power that reaches out, blesses, nourishes, nurtures, and loves others and leads the way of a loving relationship. Thanks for tuning in. This is sandra vernon with face society and you've been listening to the art of connection. Please consider subscribing. I would really appreciate it and also if you could take some time and give me a rating, that would help me too. -
Have you ever considered how you might regain your good health or maintain the health you have? How about the excitement and challenge of downsizing and this after living on a farm? Well, on today's podcast, it is my distinct pleasure to have my friend, an amazing gracious lady as my guest, Pam Hedge. Pam is married to her best friend and they just recently downsized to tiny living. She and her husband reside in a 29 foot fifth wheel outside of Aiken, South Carolina. Pam Retired after 30 years in the publishing industry. The last 11 years spent as the owner, publisher, designer, and editor of her own magazine called all things country. Both her health and her husband had been transformed through plexus and now she shares what she has learned, helping others regain health and vitality. Pam is a passionate kind, caring person by nature and knowledgeable health and wellness coach and network marketer for plexis worldwide. This is a terrific combination for those who are under her care. When Pam isn't helping people change their health and their lives, she enjoys spending her own yarn and knitting. She particularly likes knitting socks. Pam is a proud mom to one daughter who lives in Idaho and delighted to be a grandma to a granddaughter. Pam and her husband Dave share their home with three dogs who rule their lives. Abby, the senior lab and two very spoiled Yorkies Dixie and champ. Pam, thank you so much for joining me on today's podcast.
Well, thank you Sandra. I am just thrilled.
It's great to have you here. And I'm going to just jump in because I know our listeners want to hear about your, your health journey and what that all entailed. So if you would tell me about your journey to regain your health and that of your husband's.
Well, it, it actually started quite by accident. If you would have asked me in February of 2014, I would have told you I was pretty healthy. And so is my husband other than, you know, we were at 50 and you know what happens when you turn 50. So, um, anyway, he had a stroke. He had a stroke and just opened my eyes. He spent a week in UK hospital in Lexington, Kentucky. And they figured out that there wasn't really much they can do about it because of where it was located in the top of his head. So they sent them home with a bag full of medications and they literally turned him into a Zombie. But man I did, I knew for 20 years, wasn't there anymore. He was sleeping all the time. He never did that. He, he, he just was different. So I had actually just a couple more months before that started drinking this pink drink and a friend of mine had been sharing with me and I put her off and put her off and put her off.
Finally relented. Well, after Dave had his stroke, I thought I need to do some more research. They have leather products, um, I need to research what all they have. So I got him going on their vitamins and they had a bad that we have an excellent probiotic and, and an Omega product that has five Omegas versus just have three. And I helps his heart and his brain. So I got all all of that into him and he started feeling better. So. And I'm a researcher by nature, my nature, so I have just tried to learn everything I can about the ingredients are all plant based ingredients. Um, it, it's really the best solution I found for our healthcare.
Well, that's pretty, uh, pretty amazing. Um, just to what you went through and, and how you've noticed even the benefit for your husband and what he went through with the stroke. Yeah. So dovetailing off that with the benefits, what have you noticed? What have you experienced in improving your, your own personal health?
Personally, I, I sleep better. That's what I noticed right off the bat. And when I wake up in the morning, I'm ready to get up and I could before I could lay there for half hour an hour to myself, I didn't even want to get up, you know, that felt good. Now when I wake up, it's my eyes are open and I'm ready for the day because you're feeling rested. I slept all night. I just feel clear. What do I need to get and do and everything we put in our bodies is different. Right. And I'm not saying we were not on a diet, so to speak. Some people are, some people aren't what, what Dave and I noticed is, you know, I used to make him dinner and he ate two hamburgers along with everything else. Pretty soon he was fall after one hamburger.
You, you're, you get full. You don't even realize it really. But, and then it got to the point where if I put too many chemicals in my body, I couldn't tell. You can tell by the taste of the food. Even so. Well, we put in our bodies is different and our mindset is much clearer now. Uh, another great benefit, especially if you have a husband that is one of those people when he's sick, Dave's not been sick for four years. He had that stroke, but he's not had a cold, is not had tonsillitis. His glands used to swell up on him two or three times a year. He's not been sick. And he was a terrible patient. Terrible driving me crazy. Know that that's been a blessing. You know, I was gonna say that's a benefit right there you can imagine. And the other thing I really noticed is from so many years of being a graphic artist, my bones in my shoulders, I went to the doctor, had a Max raid, they told me I had degenerative bone disease.
Oh. And I literally could not raise my arms above my shoulders without pain. And it got to the point where every month before my paper got published, I would have to go to the chiropractor and have him work on me and then go to my massage therapist and have her work on me. Yes. To get through that. That week I put the magazine together that that all went away. And, and I can't say that degenerative bone disease went away. What it was, is I had so much inflammation in me that now everything just kind of works. Right?
A lot of it I, you know, I used to look at people and because I've always been big my whole life thinking, oh, I'm just fat. I was never that fat was just inflamed areas of abuse and antibiotics and processed foods. Mcdonald's, it all adds up. It all adds up. In the end, you, you're hearing all, all the time now more and more about gut health. It really is a thing. Listen to your gut. We've heard that our whole lives, right? We should have been. Yeah, we should have been paying attention. I know. I should've been.
[08:23] Oh, that's, that's actually very inspiring and exciting even to hear about that. Just the whole inflammation thing and that wasn't so much that you were overweight as you were really inflamed and your body was showing it, um, that it was wanting help and you gave it help it sounds like.
And it took me awhile. It, I've lost it right at 80 pounds over the period of four years and I didn't lose anything for two years. Scales never really changed. My clothing got and my face got skinnier. It was all just that inflammation coming out. What does my body really and eliminate? Or the candy, the yeast that's in your system to. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a whole nother subject,
right? Yeah. And you said for the first two years you really didn't notice a scale difference. Like you wouldn't have a scale victory, but you were noticing other non scale victories, like your clothing size change or face slimming down and no more inflammation and you're sleeping better.
Feeling pretty awesome. Yeah. And other things to Dave's words disappeared. That's incredible. Uh, my feet. I've always had very scaly feet on the bottom of my feet. Of course I don't like shoes much anyway. I've always abused my feet. My beautician's will tell you that. Um, but yeah, once I got my gut healthy than all that white scaly stuff came off my feet. That's amazing. Those are what we call non scale victories.
[10:17] Well, so as you're talking about these victories, I know they're, I'm, I'm assuring that you had made either hitting some roadblocks or some obstacles while you were on this transition to better health. Would you share with our listeners what you may have come up against?
Well, you know, a lot of it is everyone thinks I lost all my weight by dieting and that couldn't be farther from the truth. It took me 52 years and diets I gassed clear back into high school. Uh, my mom sent me to hypnosis, I like to hypnosis with Dr Stipe for two years. That's right. And that's probably why to this day. I don't like to eat, I don't like the act of eating. I have to force myself to eat because of that. But I've been on diets before. Right. And, and I had an aunt that lost all kinds of weight on the Atkins Diet years ago, but after that she got colon cancer. Oh. And then the more research you see, uh, that was a big thing that happened to people that followed the Atkins Diet. So you're like, oh, I learned that, you know, the first three letters of diet is die. Yeah. I just, we want, we want, we just have decided that we eat healthier rotatable eatable ice cream every night. We do, but we don't. Yeah, I'd rather have a bowl of fruit.
Well, and I, I like what you also said, Pam, was that though you lost weight, you see it on the scale. Now the scale registers that, but it's really not so much dieting because it was, your body was so inflamed and I wonder how many of us on, you know, at least in America, how many of us, um, we, me being one of them, we need to lose weight, I need to go on a diet, need to do these things and we want to eat healthy and we're making healthier choices, but we still haven't lost the weight. And I, I wonder how much of it is the inflammation as you shared because that sure sounds like compelling truth that our bodies are inflamed with what nutrition we're giving them or not giving them.
Exactly. And I believe inflammation is a major thing even with Lupus and fibromyalgia and, and of course once a person's diagnosed with them, then they're on a medication regimen forever, which exasperates the problem. Uh, I, I'm not saying plexus, heels, anything, I'm just in its worse looking into gut health. Absolutely. Whatever form or fashion you do it. I personally have liked what's happened with me, but anyone can go to a health food store. It's just that not everyone knows
Exactly. Well, which leads me to this next question, Pam, is what support and resources did you use that assisted you in meeting your health goals? So you've touched on it a little bit, but could you elaborate for our listeners a little bit more?
Uh, I, you know, through my plexis journey, I've are applying that research is above me and it's unlike any plexuses a multilevel marketing company. Uh, I believe that's changed over the years. I know it has with ours was our company. We have 200,000 probably customers and 20,000 ambassadors. At least I couldn't. I could message anyone of them at any time, 24 hours a day. It doesn't even really matter if you know them or if you've met him. We're all here for each other.
So that's quite a network of if you need some encouragement or if you had a question. Yeah, you could use, that's.
Yeah. We have doctors, we have nurses at now, our corporate offices. We do, we have the researchers. I've met the doctors I've met this year at convention. I met the doctor, created our joy, Yom Harvard and mit graduate, you know? Yeah. We, we have the clinical trials now to backup our products to when I joined plexes, a very new company. Things have changed a lot as far as as we grew. Tarell and Alec Robinson May or thorough analysis. Clark made the decision to spend more in research, get the, get the clinical trials because they both believe in this. It's done amazing things. I've seen it do amazing things for many families and not just through their health, through their, we call it the health and happiness company. It's one of the most incredible business opportunities I've ever come across too. Oh, that's how my grandfather was an Avon lady for 24 years and technically I guess that was considered an Mlm. I work from home. Yeah. Mary Kay or Herbalife Avon. My grandmother loved it and she was a quintessential Avon Lady. Oh, that's awesome. That's beautiful. What's the most? The milky. His skin and she believed in Avon with all her heart and she made that her living for 24 years after she retired as a union man. That's awesome.
Oh, good for her, good for her. And her granddaughters followed in her footsteps because you're part of an Mlm and plexus I know is really a solid company. And so where can our listeners contact you for more information about plexis? Uh, my website is plexus people.com that takes you right to my website and then there you can find information on the clinical trials. Uh, all our products, which we only have 17 products. We, you know, we have a multivitamin, we have a mega x, which is our plant based Omega replaces fish oil. We have our probiotic which is freeze dried and it's just amazing. It gets clear to your stomach before it starts activating and that's why it's so effective. Uh, a lot of probiotic, especially if you take a probiotic that needs to be refrigerated, you take that and you put it in your system and 98 degrees it starts activating immediately and most of it doesn't get to your gut. Oh my goodness.
Down your throat. That's. But I had not thought about that. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. I always knew you wanted to get refrigerated, kind [inaudible] was supposed to be better, but now the. Yeah, that makes sense. Our body isn't refrigerated.
Well, you'll have a real healthy throat.
Pam, I also know that you're a blogger and have recently downsized to a tiny living. So would you tell our people a bit more about your, your blogging and about your downsize living and what were some of the challenges and what are some of the things that you're especially enjoying?
I love to, of course, you know, as is my live tiny living came, came around after another accident, quite literally. I got in a car wreck just a year after dave stroke again, Kevin Holmes and deliver in my magazine and I rolled my car and gotten a bad rap
And I just kinda took it as the final message from our Alara than I needed to be doing something to their fruit. I'm here. I was the only employee and I'm laying in the hospital, you know, my sales person who's sitting next to me, but between the two of us, we can't keep this thing running. And uh, it was a tough couple months of course, but we got back in it, but I just kept looking around our 3000 square foot home, especially during my rehabilitation and there was just too much. The only thing that really mattered to me during them three weeks was, well, it was sitting on the other end of the couch with me and my husband.
Hm.
That's really what it came down to. We, yeah, we just, we had too much and yeah, we couldn't do what we wanted to do because we had too much and we were taken care of too much. And I finally asked myself if I, what I was doing today was getting me any closer to where I wanted to be tomorrow. And the answer was no, no, we were just killing ourselves. So that's when we started the whole hold down sizing. Dave started watching those tiny living shows on TV ran. That just kind of piqued our interest. And then I kinda got to the mindset where I started picking things up and looking at it, especially as I was dusting, what does this really mean to me? Life changing tomorrow if I didn't have this in my hand and well that's quite a process. Wow. Mindset saying, excuse me, like I said, it really came down to of course, you know, having a major accident and wondering why I survived that because I should have went through the fence instead of flew over them and it would've been a much different story. Um, but I, I only have so many days left. Each of us were put on this earth was so many days and my days are getting shorter so I, I'm not done. I'm not done with what I want to do.
But what, how wise you were to. And I like [inaudible] I'm in a transition as you and I shared that, you know, getting ready for a move, but just as you're picking up things or dusting them or having to move things because you're dusting them, you know, how relevant or important is this thing to hold onto it because we have so many things and those things end up weighing us down. So you were so wise to already go through that process and and start processing that as you were getting ready to downsize. When you think about it when you're holding some. Yeah. I could hold something and say, Oh, I bought this in Florida. You still have the memory, right? You have the memory of when you bought it. So the memory is the most important thing anyway. And not having to dust all that stuff usually a lot more time.
Well, and I also like Pam, when you were going through your recovery after you're, you're a terrible accident and your husband's still recovering from a stroke, that you know it really, you, you got it. That, that connection that you know, this whole podcast series about art of connection, that you realized what's important was right at the end of the couch. Right? Right. There, your husband. That connection, that relationship and so that it just brought tears to my eyes. I thought, that's so wonderful that you said that, that that's really what it's all about. That's what I married him for, to spend my life with them. That's right. Not with a bunch of ceramics or memorabilia that you need to dust your husband. So what was the biggest obstacle with this transition to tiny living? Well, you know, the downsizing part. I'm still downsizing now. We just moved from a class C motorhome up into a fifth wheel devil. My space maybe to 200 square feet. I'm living big. Yeah, large. There's still stuff I'm throwing away the or, and I'm not throwing away because if it made it this far and someone else can use it. So whether it's going to the Spca or goodwill, whoever needs it, if you need it. I've got it.
I've been helped many times in my life and it's time for me to help.
Well, and I know you say it's time for you to help you have a helping heart and I know you've always done that because that's just who you are. Um, well Pam, what about the biggest delights you found? What? This transition? Oh, by far, the time freedom. I was by very smart lady when I was in my early twenties. That time means everything. And, and then I in order for 30 years, because I spent every bit of my time working to support my mom, my daughter, you know, running around doing this, doing that. I forgot just how valuable my time was. And by the time I remembered how valuable my time was, my daughter is married with a child of her own and I'm not her main priority anymore. Yeah. Right. Ten years I was the goto person and, and then all of a sudden she's gone and now what? So. And I still didn't learn because heck, I was 57 years old before I decided that my time means a lot to me. The other thing is being able to be a wife again, and that might sound funny, but I always wanted to live in a little house on the prairie days where you got to cook and clean and make a home for your hardworking husband. Okay. Horse for 30 years, David, you know, there was a point where Dave and I work different shifts.
It was actually a point in Oregon where Dave, Jenny and I all three work different shifts and rarely saw each other. That's not life. That's working for a living, I guess instead of living to work and that's what I do and it's because we've acquired so much. Yeah, yeah. We've acquired way too much and it costs money to take care of all those things and you and Dave have wisely see matt and transition to a tiny living. I think it's very inspiring and my husband and I are looking forward to doing the same thing as well as we move back to our home state as I'm getting ready to do that. That's exciting. So I thank you for sharing that, Pam, and with your blog, um, could you tell us where people could follow you on your blog? It's called leaving footprints. Sixty one.blogspot.com. Calm. I like that. Leaving footprints. [email protected]. Is that correct? I'll send you all right. That'd be great because I know our listeners would like to check in with you and they can check in with you again at plexis. Could you give us your website for that again, Pam, before we sign off today. Terrific. Terrific. Well, Pam, thank you so much for spending this time with me and sharing with our listeners about your health journey and all that you've discovered. It's just been a delight and I appreciate it. Thank you so much. I hope all of you have just totally blessed day. Thank you so much and listeners, thank you so much for joining. Pam and I today on the art of connection. This is Sandra Vernon. You can follow me also on instagram or facebook at facebook. It. Thank you. -
My friend and I were discussing shame. She was wondering if you really ever got over it. The shame we have, she was wondering if one just had to endure it to some degree. We each have shame that is hidden away. Our resiliency, our ability to bounce back from shames message is determined by our support group, our community, and the risk we take in sharing on today's podcast, I will address the issue of shame, shame, resist, revisited because it revisits us and I want to address the power to read its hold over our lives. Stacy Eldrid. She's quoted as saying, if we all listened long enough to the voices about who we should be, we grow death to the beauty of who we are. Shame does that to us. It keeps us hidden away. Deaf to the truth of our beauty. Shame keeps us too afraid to be discovered for who we really are because we believe shames message, that we are unlovable, that we are worthless, and that if discovered, we wouldn't be liked, perhaps even despised for our life or for what we did or for what happened to us.
This is shames, awful work, damaging our lives, purpose, and destroying our souls. Hope I have suffered, was shamed for decades. It started early in my life due to my childhood perceptions and the story I told myself the feeling of not being good enough, the message that I was too sensitive. You get it. We are told we are either too much or not enough. It may be a fleeting statement by someone that loves us, but somehow it sticks and repetition. We use as evidence making this story, this perception, our truth, part of the fabric of our life. This makes this damning lie all the more damaging my mid teens. I was raped by a boyfriend. I was shamed because I had been drinking and left myself vulnerable. I took it upon myself to shame myself. My boyfriend heaped even more on me. How did I let this happen?
Seeking help. Later on, I was blamed by the counselor to whom I had hoped to get some closure and healing. She only confirmed that I was the one who was responsible for what happened to me, and there are other traumatic experiences that left my soul. Oh, so wounded the shame mounting. There were minor occurrences that confirmed shames lies in my life during my undergraduate work. Just feeling a bit out of step with my classmates. I assumed that I was not getting it. They all seem so together too, to admit the need for help when everyone else seemed to get it. I just muddled through, but being on the Dean's list and later the president's list, this did nothing to stop that shame message. Crazy, Huh? Then my graduate work, the lie that I was too stupid that it must have been a mistake for me to get into graduate school and this was a message that a professor heaped on me.
He even went as far to ask if I had been a mistake for me to be in graduate school. The shame list goes on. The shame mounts and gains strength. Can you relate to any of this? Do you have any hidden shame that keeps your soul sequestered away? We each have our shame story, and as I said earlier, the resiliency, the ability to bounce back is depends a whole lot on our community and around those who love us and how much we're willing to share and risk, and although it is our story, once shame is revealed, it becomes easier to shine the light of truth and have all the shame storm revealed. And as we allow the work of truth in our life, shame continues to diminish and is eventually loses power. Shames tentacles are often far reaching and deep wrapping around our soul. So it does take a lot of work to loose the stranglehold that shame has on our lives, but it is so worth it.
I'm here to tell you it is so worth it. These things I shared with you today are things I couldn't have shared earlier, but no longer will I let shame rule my life. So this may very well be a life work, but it's worth doing to answer my friend. We do not have to learn to live with shame, but we do have to learn to identify it, reveal it, expose it for its lies that it is so we can move on. I know that shame does not relinquish, relinquish its residents in our souls easily. It rears its ugly head time and again spewing it's lies, but it's only because we have disturbed it's dark residence. In the recesses of our heart. The battle is ugly for awhile, but in the end, truth and love when and shame is squashed, so keep pressing on it. It is worth it.
Sharing Shame. You find a trusted friend or a reliable trusted counselor who understands, shames, impact, then share with them your heart and your hurt. Share with them what you're. You've been thinking. Let them kindly and lovingly tell you how has been a lie. Trust them as they proclaimed truth over your life, receive their love, received their truth, received their message. Shame has a stranglehold on your soul for too long. It has kept you isolated and separated. Today you can begin the process to extinguish the work of shame on your life. Now, here's the truth that will help you on this journey of dumping shame from your life. This truth has two parts. The first part is this part of life is changeable. This changeable part is in the dealing with people. People will always have opinions about us. Their opinions are not. Our business is spoken of behind her back.
It's not for us to know, leave it alone. People's opinions change nearly as quick as the wind shifts. We want people to like us, but it is not the basis of our identity and shame will keep us seeking other people's approval and recognition while keeping us separated from really connecting. It's an awful cycle. Shame uses our desire, our need to be connected. We seek approval and love from people and when we sense rejection, we retreat and in retreating. Shame reminds us that our secret self cannot be discovered because then people would really not like us, so we tell ourselves that if we just try harder, maybe we will be accepted. Even loved. We then create or add to the veneer of are pretending not to care what people think or we start shrinking into the quiet recesses of our home as we become disengaged from the life we once knew and this happens almost unknowingly, unaware of this slow creep of shames rule in our life.
We are created for connection and relationship, but shame when it takes root strangle holds us. We are prevented from using our unique gifts and talents because we are too fearful to risk being ourselves because to be ourself means that people would discover and that is just too big of a risk, and then we go about our life living like a fraud with skin on. We know something's just not right. We meet. Maybe we may be very social on the outside and no one knows the inner struggle. We may become very reclusive. Shames effects are varied as there are people, but ultimately shame prevents us from connecting. It prevents us from fully enjoying relationships with friends, family, and our spouses. Shame prevents from boldly using our abilities with confidence. Shame keeps us tethered. No, myered is a better word in the muck of lies, limiting fullness of life, so this first part of truth, people's opinions are always changing.
t's something to remember. The second part of this truth is there is something that is unchangeable. This part of life has absolutely and forever unchangeable and it has to do with God. He is unchangeable and his truth is unchangeable. He is the only one who can define you and me, and that's pretty awesome that his identity, his proclamation over us, his truth, what he speaks over as never changes, unlike people's changing opinions. Think about it this way. I love pottery. I marvel and admire those who are gifted at throwing clay on a wheel and fashioning a beautiful piece. The whole process of glazing and firing and waiting, perhaps embellishing whatever the pottery creator wants. Her opinion of her piece defines the piece. Since she is the creator. This can apply to any in any creative endeavor or anything that we put our hands to do because even home decorating home, making the work we do, we define it by being the creative power behind it, which leads me to the part two of this truth that I mentioned, your maker, our God, is the only one who can define you.
God is the designer of his creation for which we are apart. As a matter of fact, we are his defining glory and excellence of his creation because when he breathed life into man, he declared this creative work and the rest of creation as good each part of the creative process of making all things seen and even unseen. God said it was good then wait for this nugget of truth, this unchanging truth. God then made woman, and you know the story she was created from God by taking a rib from Adam side and when God was done with this act of his creative work, do you know what he said? He stated it is very good. The emphasis on being very good. He is the only one that kind of define us. His words and his way are unchanging and we women are his very good part of creation.
Remember this, when shame tries to clean to you again, speak truth to your soul, received the proclamations, those who love you and know you. You may not believe them yet, but received them and speak them to your soul, and here's a challenge. Look at yourself in the mirror, but don't just stop there. Look yourself in the eye and speak truth to yourself. Speak Truth to your soul. God says that through Jesus Christ in God, we are blameless. He calls US beloved. We are pure and holy. We stand in Christ victorious. We are forgiven. We are redeemed, which means bought, purchased from the chains of sin and death, purchased from living in shame, and there's more. God's Word is full of the truth of our identity. Shame wants you and I not to discover this truth. Shame wants us to keep seeking that changing opinions of people.
Shame wants you to pedal in this futility as quickly as fashion changes from season to season or even month to month zero people's opinions, they changed about us, but remember this, God's opinion and proclamation over us never changes. The God of Noah and Abraham and Israel is the same God today. He is unchanging. The God of the Gospel accounts, which is really just another name for the biography of Jesus Christ is the same God of today. God has not changed his word, has not changed. Circumstances change. Outcomes are often not what we hope for people's opinions, wax and wane, but God never changes. He states that we are his beloved creation. He proclaims that we are his those who believe and receive his son. He says, we are joint heirs with Christ. God tells us we are part of his kingdom. He proclaims freedom and forgiveness and joy restored to those who receive his son.
Jesus work on the cross on our behalf and this is how we battle. Shame this truth. It's a truth. Two-Pronged assault on shame. Remembering that we don't have to hide from people because their opinions constantly shift and change. We have to remember that God is the only one who can truly define our identity. He has this right being the creator of us all created and defined us for a unique purpose. Shame attempts to keep us hidden away from living out this life purpose. I love this quote by Victor Hugo. There is one spectacle, grander than the sea, and that is the sky. There was one spectacle, grander than the sky, and that is the interior of the soul and the interior of the soul is what Shane damages. When we finally come to realize the work shame has done to our lives this pretending there's nothing wrong, no cracked and sharp edges of our life when we arrive at this place and begin the work of eradicating shame from our soul.
This is where true connection and community blossom. This is where we are, the living epistle of love and where we can truly experience and enjoy a joy filled life. Find a trusted friend that you can share with what you have been afraid to share. Open the door on this dark recess and allow your friend or a competent and trusted counselor to help you shine the light, realizing that you are not alone in this, this on earthing shame and eradicating up from our lives. Each one of us has something we have felt shame over and it has kept us prisoners, but no more. Our identity is not in who likes us or knows us. Our identity is not being accepted by any particular social group. Our identity is the truth of God and what he says about us. Shame wants to keep us from this. Healing is in God's word and from there, this is where we can escape and be rid of shame. Thank you for joining me today on the art of connection. This is Sandra Vernon. Please consider subscribing to the art of connection and even leaving a rating that would really be appreciated. In the meantime, remember, you don't have to be imprisoned with shame. Just start allowing yourself to receive the proclamation of God's truth upon your life. Find a friend, a trusted counselor that you can share with and let the work began. You won't regret it. -
What is your favorite way to get some exercise? Are you a member of a gym or a fitness boutique or perhaps enjoy exercise training at home on your TV. Perhaps you are a runner or a power walker. Fitness is not only good for our bodies and health, but our minds as well. On today's podcast, I had the pleasure of my favorite fitness instructor joining me on the show. Laura, Donna telly is an amazing woman who's teaching skills and own fitness journey inspires. Let me tell you a bit more about Laura. My guest, Laura, creative by nature, received her bachelor of fine arts in 2005, concentrating on oil painting from Rutgers University, Mason Gross School of the arts. She then continued on to receive her associate degree in graphic design from Katharine Gibbs School in 2007. After a few years as a freelancer and both graphic design and fine art, Laura began working in customer service in banking for a steadier source of income after her first child, she began her career as a fitness professional by teaching Barr and Mat pilates in the evenings while maintaining her day job.
After the birth of her second child, she was afforded the opportunity to stay at home and pursue her interest in fitness. Laura became an ace certified group fitness instructor and continued her polities training through balanced body. She added reformer and apparatus training to her repertoire. Laura is also an fai functional aging specialist and has completed her role the form of foam rolling certification. Laura's passion is bodies. She loves challenging the body in new innovative ways while incorporating a mind body connection. She strives to integrate mind, body, and breath in an effort to strengthen the muscles as well as the spirit. She feels that plays is one of the best forms of exercise to create a lean, long, strong, and balanced body without unneeded force or injury. When Laura is not instructing or doing pilates, you can find her spending time with her family, which include her husband and two young children. Laura's other interest include hiking, drawing, sewing, and baking. Laura, thank you so much for joining me today on the art of connection. Thank you for having me. Well, let's just jump right in. I would like you, if you would please tell me about your fitness journey, how you got started and how it got you are where you are today.
eah, I think that, um, my first introduction to fitness was when I was quite young, probably, I don't know, 12 or 13 or so, um, and my sister who is older than me and myself, we used to do aerobics videos in our living room. Um, we would do buns of steel was one of our favorite, which is a well known one. Um, and also, you know, other aerobics videos, Leslie Chasen was another one, um, um, and we would do yoga and so on and so forth. So after, um, all of that, I just continued on doing fitness throughout high school. Um, my sister and I were both involved in horseback riding a lot. I spend a lot of my time as a, a young person working at Barnes in order to afford horseback riding lessons. So I was active in that, in that way. Um, and also did karate as a younger, as a younger person as well.
So, um, I had a nice introduction to fitness, a lot of it was based on just what was fun and what was enjoyable without too much pressure as to the results of whatever I was doing, which was nice. Um, as I got older I became more serious as far as trying to make my body look a certain way. There was all the pressures of high school and what everybody should look at look like. And um, so I put a lot of self pressure on myself to, to look the way I expected myself to. So that was a little foray into the negative aspects of, um, body image, um, which, you know, as I've gotten older I've worked through quite a lot to get back to the point where fitness is more fun and enjoyable for myself. That's, that's terrific. And I like how you talked about the body image thing, which is so huge and that you're aware of that and have overcome that.
Um, so my next question is why is fitness so important? Oh, it's so important in so many ways. Um, for myself, after I had my son, my first, my first child, I used fitness as an outlet of a way to get into the house and let some energy out and move around and be completely myself without being a mom, a wife, a worker, a, um, any and all of the above. So fitness was definitely just kind of like a release for me and I think that it could be that way for a lot of people that it just feels great. Whatever you're doing, whether it's going out for a run or going dancing or hiking or walking or whatever you might be doing, um, that it's, uh, a release from your everyday life. Um, but then on top of that, it's so good for your body to exercise.
Strength Training, especially for women can really alleviate the, um, lesson, the ability to get osteoporosis and Osteopenia as you get older. Um, anything impactful on your joints is, is good to build bone density, um, and prevention of disease. If you want a lower health bill, as you get older, you might as well start exercising now to keep your heart healthy. Your lungs happy, your joints in order and so forth. Um, and then on another completely different note, it depending on what type of exercise you like to do, it can be a way to be social. So if you enjoy going to a gym, you might meet friends there or if you are part of a studio, you might meet New People. I'm just feel a sense of belonging, um, that you might not get in other areas of your life. So all over. It's just a great thing to, to, um, to do.
Yeah. You made some really great points. Of course we know the physical aspect of it, but as you said, just mentally, emotionally and socially, it's so beneficial to. That's awesome. Well, what are some common myths about fitness or working out that maybe you've run into yourself or with some of the clients you work with? Yeah, uh, there's so many. Um, I think one that I've run into is when I started working out, I thought, oh, I'm going to do cardio. I'm going to go running. I'm going to get my heart rate up super high all the time for extended periods of time, and that's the best way to maintain fitness and lose weight and be healthy. Um, and there's no saying that it is not a great form of fitness. I, I do it. I enjoy it. It's a great way to get your endorphins flowing.
But it's a myth that it's the only good form of exercise. Um, you know, as I've progressed through my fitness journey, I've come to realize the strength training is so great for your body, for your mind to feel so strong too. And to, um, to feel like you can accomplish these, these strength goals is very important as well. Um, it also is a weight way to great way to boost your metabolism and maintain muscle strength as well as bone strength, bone density, and gives you an all over type of like a balanced body, not just being strong from a cardio aspect but all, all the way around. So that's one big one. Um, the other one that goes to hand in hand with that is that strength training as a woman will make you get big and bulky. And I'm, look manish, which is just basically impossible.
Those women you see in magazines or around that do look bulky or more like have a manual or more manly physique, have been strength training for hours at a time, perhaps taking supplements. And their goal is to look like that. So they've really pushed their body to the extreme. Um, but it's a myth that just doing strength training three or four times a week is going to get you that bulky for seek. Okay. Um, let's see. Another big one is that not everybody can exercise. Everybody can exercise. I see a lot in my studio, the studio that I work at, um, of people ranging from somebody who's in incredible shape already to somebody who can't walk, who is a paraplegic, um, being able to complete beautiful exercises. And I think that a lot of times people will stop themselves before they get out of the gate because they are, they feel weak or they're too heavy. They're out of shape, they're uncoordinated, um, you know, name a thousand different excuses because they don't feel that they can get to the point where they can begin exercising, but it's just not true. Anybody can do it.
Well, those are, those are some big things. I think about that one. That's so much of a, again, a mindset of what we are and the things we tell ourselves that we can't do these things. And, and listers, I've had the pleasure of taking classes from Laura and know what an encourager she is. No matter what level you start at, you got to start somewhere and she works with everybody on their different levels. I love that. So that's a great myth to bust. And the other one that you brought up, Laura, was the strength training because I've heard that too. Well, I don't want to get bulky, but strength training, as you said, it's benefits, uh, for, for physical health as well as the mental part of it too is important. Now, would you consider polities, which I know is your, your favorite area? If I used that word that would palladio's be considered a strength training as well or not necessarily? It is,
Yes. Most definitely. It's a different type of strength training. Like, um, I might have a bodybuilder come into the studio and they are so strong, but they're not physically able to do moves that you would see in a Palati studio because the polities it's like strength from the inside out. It starts deep in your core and then it radiates to all of the other areas of your body and its muscles that you might not look work in your traditional strength training atmosphere, um, these tiny intrinsic muscles that really support your system, um, that support your skeletal system and keep you, you know, tall and straight and strong from the inside out. Um, so yes, definitely a strength training system, but it's also, you know, mind body connection, flexibility. Um, it can be cardio depending what type of pyladies you're doing. If you're doing, um, you know, a reformer class with an added jump board, you can get the cardio aspect in.
So yeah, it's all an all around beautiful fitness regime. Oh, I like that description to from the inside out that um, whereas the strength printing, I mean we want to see immediate results and how much we're lifting and how many reps you do plays is building it from the inside out. What? Uh, that's what, that's terrific. Well, what are some roadblocks you hit on your fitness journey? Oh, well there's been some, some, um, let's see. One is just time. Time is difficult to come by, especially as a mom, especially when I was working full time and trying to uh, teach classes at night or exercise myself. Um, you know, that just becomes an obstacle that you have to work around. There were times when my son was very little that I would wake up at five in the morning and go running as soon as the light would.
There would be enough light that I could see my feet. I would get out the door because otherwise there was no time then, you know, I wouldn't stop until 9:00 PM at night. Um, and uh, yeah, it's definitely a commitment, um, to, to find time to exercise and for yourself. Um, and then also sometimes the financial aspect of it, some studios are expensive, you know, if you want to be a part of a studio, so you might have to get creative with what you do. Um, you know, exercising from home, finding videos on youtube, just going outside and, and, and working out outside if the weather is nice enough to go out. Um, so yeah, so financially there's been some setbacks too. Um, I've wanted to finish my padi certification much sooner than I than I have or that I am than I am and you know, that's partially because of financial setbacks where I have to pace myself.
Um, and so they're just obstacles that you have to work through a nothing that can't be, nothing that can't be accomplished. And I think the biggest setback has been mom guilt of taking the time. I'm taking the time to do these things for myself because I know I'm setting a good example for my children by pursuing my dreams, um, and what I want to do as a, as a woman and as a person. Um, and knowing that sometimes that means that I'm not going to be there every second, um, but that the positives outweigh the negatives for sure. Oh, definitely. Yeah. No, I think that's a really wise
Advice for young moms who would be listening to you because you're, you're a young mom too, and have young ones. I how, what are the ages of your children again?
I'm almost six and almost. Well, two and a half ish. Yeah.
Yeah. So yeah, young children that um, it's important for that self care and doing things that are good for yourself and pursuing your dreams, not sacrificing your children, but balancing it and what a model that is. That's so awesome. So I know that moms need to hear that, that it's okay. You know, the mom guilt is always going to be there, but you just shove it aside and do what you know is right. Sometimes you have to. So you mentioned that your certification and your credentials, and I know our listeners would love to hear them because your credentials are pretty amazing. Um, so could you tell us what your next steps, your next goals? Our next certification,
The certification is quite an extensive one, um, and it can be achieved in steps. So I started, I think back in 2004, five, maybe no, 2007. I'm starting to learn mat pilates and um, so I took that certification which was like a 16 hour certification and then took some time off and then took my second mat pilates session, which was another 16 hours and then took some time off and you know, about every six months or so I've completed another certification. Um, so to be fully certified and polities I think there's about 12 sessions and then on top of that there's studio hours and practice hours and so forth, kind of similar to how you would get certified in Yoga that you can have like in a thousand hours certification or 800 hour, $600 or 400 or 200 or so forth. Um, so when I'm all said and done in another, the goal is a year and a half when everything is complete, I think I'll have about a thousand hours.
Um, and which includes everything. Um, and in includes times that I'm physically working in a studio, so I'm getting paid for some of those hours. Um, yeah, and then we'll be fully certified through balanced body as a mat apparatus and reformer instructor. Um, and as an ase certified fitness instructor, you do have to do a certain number of CCS CCS a year education credits to continue to be certified. So there's a lot of things that, you know, we'll just kind of happened as I go, um, to, to keep up with those certifications as well. Um, and CPR asserts and, and all those little ones, but um, yeah, so the certification is a big one but it's so rewarding. Um, and every time I go to a, to a class or a workshop I feel so, you know, kind of revived in, in what I'm doing and more, I'm more excited for teaching. So it's a nice process. It's a long process, but it's also a very nice and rewarding process.
Oh, absolutely. And as I'm listening to you and hearing about your credentials and your certification and the amount of hours that you've had behind those, um, I think one, it's incredible just to know the sheer amount of time you spent. And I also like how you said that you wanted to get your certification done much quicker than it's happening, but there were certain obstacles and instead of getting frustrated or throwing in the towel and saying, I'll just have to wait. You just said, okay, I'm going to set a different goal to achieve what I ultimately want is my full certification. And so every six months you're doing something and I think that's so great that you've got that vision and you've got that goal and you're operating in the thing that you love, your, your gifting and that is plays and instructing and employees and, and, and different forms of exercise that you're setting those goals and you're still moving forward. So I think that's just really inspiring to hear that, hey, there some life obstacles, you know, financial time, those things. And you just said, hey, I'll just. Okay, every six months this is what I'm going to do. And you're just moving forward still. That's awesome. Yeah.
Yeah. And you know, it's actually very good for me because of the type of learner I am, that I like to take a piece and then really dive into that piece. Um, so the break in between sessions is kind of a good way for me to take what I've learned and apply it and practice and then by the time I get to that next certification, I'm ready to receive more information and then apply that and um, you know, it's a nice little pattern.
Absolutely. It sounds awesome. And, and again, that you've just said, all right, I'm going to make this adjustment. It hasn't changed the fact that you want the certification, right? The to maybe use a map metaphor or driving metaphor going on a trip, you're still in the car and you're still heading towards that. You just might've taken a little side route or taken a little bit longer getting straight to your destination. So that's awesome. And that's encouraging. Well, Laura, do you have a favorite tip or two for people on their fitness journey?
Oh, um, well, let's see. I think one is treat yourself carefully and lovingly. Um, that's a big one because I think that people and myself included a lot of times want to see progress and goals reached immediately and it is hard to step back and sit back and say, oh, this might take a long time. Um, you know, there might be setbacks along the way, just like we were just saying. Um, so I think, you know, that self care and that ability to treat yourself like you would treat your best friend is super important. Um, that way you won't get bogged down by tiny setbacks. Um, and that positivity will just lead to more positivity and more change and the ability to achieve whatever goal you might be setting for yourself. Um, I think when we limit ourselves because of negative self talk or self image or whatever, then it makes it much harder. It's like we're putting our own stumbling blocks in front of us, um, instead of just allowing ourselves to, to proceed. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So that's one big tip, um, easier said than done, but I'm a good, a good tip nonetheless. Something to keep in the back of your mind all the time.
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I was just, as you were saying that again, I thought that is just so wise that the way we speak to ourselves, our inner dialogue or monologue, whatever you want to call it, in our heads. Wow. If we wrote it down or recorded what we were saying to ourselves, I think we be appalled with like, we would never say that as you point out. How would you speak to your best friend? It wouldn't be the way you're speaking to your, your head or your mirror image self. So that's, that's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. Well let me ask you, what do you do for relaxation and then what do you do for entertainment?
Um, relaxation. Well, one is exercise. Pilates is incredibly relaxing. If I want to, you know, if I really want to relax, I'll go take a, a polity session from one of my favorite instructors because it's like this. Somebody else is telling me what to do for an hour. I don't have to think, I don't have to, you know, I do have to think a little bit, but I, but I just, you know, I get to let them guide me so that super relaxing so that I'm being in nature also can bring me right back down. Um, you know, into focus pretty quickly. So if I, if the weather's great, if the weather's semigration just getting outside either gardening or hiking or going for a walk, um, can, can bring me back down to earth. Um, know sometimes, like everybody, I think I get caught up in things that don't matter so much.
And so just kind of refocusing, um, by relaxing is, is helpful. Um, and then as far as entertainment kind of similar, I, you know, going hiking is one of the big ones. Um, my husband and I love to go hiking. We have yet to take our children because we feel like we would only get maybe 15 minutes in and we'd have to turn around because they're a little to release my, my daughter who's two is a little too young to take long, long hikes, um, and hanging out with friends, going out, having a good dinner somewhere. I'm going and seeing, you know, a show, a comedy show, a music show. Um, that type of thing. Um, is great as well. That's great.
Well, and I mean I'm here in your heart and I'm hearing your voice and your excitement about Pilati. So this next question I'm going to ask it anyway, um, other than your very full life as a wife and mom and pilates trainer, what profession profession might you like to attempt to? You know, what I've thought about that a lot and I think
It would still be in the realm of polities and fitness instructing, but, um, as a super goal probably to have my own studio, um, that would incorporate all the types of exercise that I enjoy doing, which would be palase and bar and, uh, you know, strength training, maybe body weight, strength training, um, and uh, yeah, and, and all sorts of different types of mind body exercise and that, you know, that's an internal goal maybe for somewhere in the next 10 years, um, as my kids get older and in school full time and I can focus on it more, um, you know, and be fully certified and then pursue that. Um, so yeah, I'm still on the right path, which it took me awhile to get here. Um, but, uh, yeah, I just think thank
delving deeper into it would be my, my, um, passion. Well, it's certainly something that from what you described about your journey, you started as a, as a, as a kid, as a teenager. So it's, it's neat to see you operating and watching and knowing of women operating in their passion area. Right. So the thing that they love. That's awesome. Well, you had mentioned hiking and hiking with little ones. Forget it. She ended up carrying. Do you have a favorite hike that you especially enjoy? One place are you, that you've went to was outstanding? Well, I mean around here around where we live in New Jersey. Um, we go up to the Delaware water water gap quite often. Um, Mt. Tammany is our favorite hike around here. Intense, intense. Yeah, an intense hike. But the views from the top are so beautiful once you get there and then the climb down is quite treacherous. But, um, another reason not to bring the kids, but that's probably the one we do most around here. Um, as a kid I had family in California and we would go out, um, you know, into the, into the redwoods and, and hike. So that at West would probably be my absolute favorite. Obviously I don't get to do it as often as I, we did when we had family out there. Um, but you know, any hike is a good hike being out there. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
Well, Laura, I really thank you for your time, but before we sign off for today, I would like to know where can, and I'm sure people would like to know where can they find you? Maybe to watch your exercise. Um, I know you post some these exercises. Where can people find you?
Physically, you can find me at two studios in Flemington, New Jersey. I'm a, one is called sphere a calorie and the other is health quest. Um, and then online, I'm on instagram. I'm, my instagram tag is at happy Laura d, so you can find me on there and I do post some short videos, some tutorial videos, um, polities and Inbar instruction. And I'm on facebook under Donna Telly, which is my last name, creative. Um, so yeah, either of those places. And um, I'd love to, to hear from, from everybody. Um, if you happen to see a video that you like, if you wanted to comment on what you like about that so that I can post more of those things, that would be great.
That's great. Laura. Thank you and thank you for your time. I appreciate you joining me today on the podcast and all the information you shared and I'm just really appreciate that you gave us your time. Yeah. Thank you for having me. It's been fun and everyone. Thank you so much for joining Laura and I today. I'm please consider subscribing to the art of connection and if you take some time also and even rate it, I would appreciate that too. This is Sandra Vernon with the art of connection and you can also find me. I face society on either facebook or face society on instagram. -
Busyness not busyness, but busy ness seems epidemic, perhaps pandemic now days, and with it, the mantra of how good multitasking is, while multitasking is often necessary in some circumstances, motherhood as an example, research and common sense states that multitasking is detrimental to being mindful, busyness, faithfulness, and consistency. These are the topics for today's podcast, so much of our lives and our days are filled with busyness. Much of the busyness is job related or commitment related and cannot be avoided, and then we add to that wanting to connect and have relationships or pursue our hobbies and the things we enjoy so we multitask. Attempting to squeeze out of each minute, all that we possibly can for efficiency sake and hope that we will free up more time. We mop the kitchen floor while preparing a meal and get the tea brewing for the next batch of Kombucha.
We take that busyness call while working on the project on our computer. We call a friend to catch up and while so doing dust furniture while we talk gardening, we listen to a podcast and clean out the garden shed inbetween tossing weeds into the bin. You get the idea, when I was waitressing, I'm mastered multitasking, sort of a requirement to a fit, efficiently serve the patrons. It just made sense to me the way I organize my time and I was quite proud of my skillset. This skill transferred over to other areas of my life and now looking back though I was perhaps efficient. I wonder if I missed much of life in exchange for efficiency missing the moment because I was focusing on what was next, missing the moments forever gone in the shuffle of all we have to do. I believe we miss out on living and enjoying life if we don't practice being engaged in the moment.
If we don't practice mindfulness, the moments slip by, and here's a disturbing statistic. A couple of decades ago, the average attention span of an adult was 20 minutes. Now it is. Are you ready for this? Nine seconds, thanks to social media and phones that have us instantly connected for whatever sound byte of information we want coupled with the drive to get tons done to multitask. We have reduced our ability to pay attention from nearly a half hour to less than 10 seconds, nine seconds. It takes me longer to p nine seconds. That's a reduction in and being in the moment and mindful and it's no longer measured in minutes, but just a few seconds. A nine second attention span is grounds for a diagnosis of add or Adhd. Now I'm not making light of this diagnosis, but do you see where the epidemic may not be the letters as much as our lifestyle practices that there might be not be the need for an astronomical proportion of medicated peoples, but a change in how many of us do life busyness a part of life and culture, but can we do busyness different?
Do we have to fill every waking hour with things to do and tasks to accomplish? Can we dump some things only due to the most important things? Can we do busy differently? I think so. It starts with our mindset, uh, choosing to be in the moment more than getting tons done, uh, choosing to not get it all done or doing it all because ultimately these little tasks like cleaning out the drawer right now is not as important as looking at your child in his eyes while he tells you his story about his day to not do so. To let this moment pass and moments like these pass your child will soon learn soon. Learn that getting stuff done is more important than connecting and meeting soul needs and the practice of continuing to work on a project, on the blue screen while speaking with a client.
Well, people can usually tell when we're not really listening, when we are not truly engaged in the conversation. And often we miss important details because we are not intentional with the conversation. How can we be when our brain is also attempting to do something else for efficiency sake. And how about we no longer choose to hurriedly clean up the kitchen immediately after a meal when we've had guests over. Because how often have we missed the spontaneity of conversation and connection, segregated, isolated in the kitchen. The cleanup will happen later and that's okay. Or sometimes people join in the cleanup. The importance is to stay engaged with the people around you rather than worrying about the busyness of a task busyness. It segues into the habitual days of routine amidst our busyness where we may ask ourselves, does any of this really matter or make a difference? You know, caring for the little things, the everyday commitments.
Is it worth it? I struggled with wanting to make a difference somewhere. I think of that kid on the trike from the movie the incredibles, remember him. It's the scene where Mr incredible sees the kid on the trike and asked what he's waiting for and the kid replies something amazing I guess, and that is what I wait for the opportunity to do something amazing. I'm still waiting, trying to slow my pace of life and level of busyness, learning to be mindful and engaged in the moments of life that really matter. You know, being consistent and faithful in the little things because it is in the little things that prepare us for the bigger things and sometimes the big things happen and we aren't even aware of them happening, how they have impacted lives. School teachers, medical professionals, military personnel, law enforcement people, volunteers, moms, we are often unaware of how are reaching out in small ways makes a big impact on a person.
Consistency and faithfulness in the little things we know busyness. It's a fact of life. The level of busyness we can adjust accordingly, but busyness remains and we must be both faithful in what we do and consistent in our practices and as I often like to do, especially with words that I've grown too familiar with. I like to check the original definition. Sometimes they even check the contemporary definition, so what does faithful and consistency mean? Faithful is defined as remaining loyal and steadfast and loyal. It means giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. Steadfast means was resolutely from and unwavering. Faithfulness segways nicely to consistency, which is defined as the quality of achieving a level of performance which does not vary in quality over time. It is unchanging in nature, standard or effect over time. Nice, Huh? For the little things in life that we must do the busyness we cannot avoid, we should be faithful and consistent from an unwavering and what we do with the level and quality of performance that does not change over time, meaning we do it to the best of our ability even as it has become routine.
That is why it is important to prioritize with what we busy our times with. This is the only way we can be faithful and consistent in doing them and since it is humanly impossible to do it all, we must make some choices. Just how many clubs or sports or activities will we let each child participate in? How many volunteer groups will we be a part of? How much time will I devote to work? Perhaps wanting to advance my career? Will we hire a cleaning lady or we would clean our own home? There's always a choice and an option as to how we will fill our time, how busy we want to be, and this thought leads me to at the core of our being is the desire to have a purpose for what we do, the drive to live with a vision and a purpose.
We want to make a difference in our part of the world where the use of our time, there is a desire common to humankind to make a difference. It is in the fabric of humanity to live for something bigger than ourselves and yet there are times and seasons of life where the everyday, the routine, the humdrum and monotony of days seem relentless and we judge them as holding little or no purpose, but faithfulness is learned over time and with practice. Consistency develops with faithfulness and here's what I am slowly learning. I am learning that his faithfulness in a little things that prepares me for the bigger things, the consistent practice of remaining steadfast in the little things I do doing them to the best of my ability always will bear fruit and other things and sometimes bigger things. Ladies, we are each created unique and wonderful with a magnificent purpose that we individually can only fulfill in a little area of our life, the sphere of our influence.
Very often we do not see the purpose, but if we live with vision and intent, we can be assured that even in the routine, there is purpose to our lives. There are stories of teachers who remained unnamed, unknown that have touched the lives of those who have gone on to become astronauts or medical doctors on the cusp of discovery or missionaries who reached the last. The list goes on is that teacher any less in her contribution, her purpose, because we don't know her name, the fame and notoriety may not accompany her contribution, but in the eternal scheme of things she has noticed and cherished and honored. We measure too much of what we do against what others are doing. We most often harshly assess ourselves, falling short of some unnamed standard and feeling then like we have little to contribute. We abandoned using our gifts.
The stodgy regime of my days often overwhelmed me. The monotony of maintaining a home can feel like stringing beads without a knot on the end. It is too easy to look at others' lives and see that they are making a difference, but me mopping the floor seems like such a waste of time, yet faithfulness in the little things pays dividends in my soul because doing all these things as unto the Lord rather than men puts it all in perspective and during these seasons where there seems more quiet than accomplishment, I have to remind myself of this truth, frequently faithful in each little thing, consistent in my practices and trust for the bigger things and those bigger things I may not even be aware of the big impact we may not even know how are reaching out has impacted others. Many faces it Ladies Demonstrate Faithfulness. I am blessed and encouraged by each one as they go about their days purposeful, committed and full of joy.
Limiting their busyness as they live life on purpose. Living intentionally, women who fully embrace motherhood, reveling in this awesome relationship. Women who are faithful in their work or career, making a difference. Women who are faithfully help out other women because more health become more healthy, fit and strong, and women who use their gifts to create, to teach, to administrate, to organized, all done in faithfulness, in their faithfulness, more of their beauty is revealed. I have practiced far too often and too consistently the hurriedness of getting to the next thing because if I hurry to get to the next thing, next thing, then it gets me closer to the next thing and that next thing brings me closer to that thing I want to obtain. Fleeting though it is. Then I realized looking back, I've missed many and opportunity. Many have an opportunity to rejoice, celebrate, enjoy time with God.
People's God has placed in my life and I think those of you who faithfully stick with me through these years of my oblivion, I've missed tender moments because I've let other things get the outside of the moment. And so now I am learning to be trained by the small things in my life like cleaning the horse stalls each morning, tidying up the kitchen from a mess, not my own. Preparing a meal and fundings like enjoying time of coffee with a friend in all of these to be faithful and consistent. I am learning, learning that I can write and share and listen. I can send cards and letters touching lives and I trust God for what he wants for my life, big or small, for his kingdom purposes, to be faithful and consistent. Hold onto this thought. A quote from Robert Collier. Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out. Thanks for listening. You've been with Sandra Vernon with the art of connection, and I really thank you for joining me today. -
To be loved and accepted runs deep. It's hardwired in us from the birth stories of orphanage, infants who do not thrive as they are denied physical touch and gentle, nurturing our heart ringing reality of this need our souls need nurturing and love. On today's podcast, I will be talking about love and truth and how they're related and necessary for our soul. The need to be loved and accepted follows us into adulthood and if this need isn't met or hasn't been met, we find that we began to make small compromises in order to get these needs met. The deep soul need to be loved and the need to be accepted as days and months. Melton two years. If our soul needs are not met, we find that we become someone we hardly recognize and perhaps don't like very much because the drive to be loved and accepted is so strong.
This strong soul drive and we attempt to get this need met any way we can. Some of it, it ain't pretty. We do things we never thought we would do, and I'm not saying that this has to be heinous. Things of crime shows, but things that are in our nature we would never imagine doing. We do these things to get the need for love met or we do things to numb the feeling and the pain of abandonment and lack of love, so striving even harder to gain, love to be accepted. We think things we never thought we would think about because we tell ourselves a story about the why. Why don't we receive the love we desire? What is wrong with me? Can you hear the shame and this message here we ask ourselves, why are we not accepted? Why are we not loved? Why do I not belong anywhere? Where do I belong? And the feeling of abandonment overwhelms our heart. Fear overrides love. We have nothing to give, so creating the story to answer these questions of why we may be we may be calm, someone we never thought we would be perhaps becoming so negative that we find people avoiding us and that we don't keep friends or relationships very long
This furthers the message of abandonment as it seems to follow us wherever we go. Building on the story we were, we created. Shame is quick to step in with this message. C, you are unlovable. No one can stand to be around you. You're annoying. That is why you are never included. It is because you're so weird that no one likes you or some such message. The cycle continues. The story builds. The message becomes more frequent and with such intensity that are dry for love and acceptance becomes frenetic. The story we tell ourselves becomes part of the fabric of our life, but it is an imposter, a liar. It is not our truth. It is a thread of a lie that has become woven into our life by rehearsing that lie and it's not something we've done on purpose. It's nearly a subconscious level. We may be come to realize that we have become someone we never expected to be and with shame in the mix.
It keeps our tender soul in hiding, rehearsing the story that no one would understand, that we're too weird that no one's been through this. Our attempts at getting needs for love met in ways that we were never meant for us. They fall flat each time we fill our mouths in our stomachs with food that has nothing to do with fuel. We fill our minds with things that numb the pain and sorrow we feel we feel our airwaves with volume so loud in an attempt to block out the quiet ego of our souls crying for help, longing for love, and it all seems pretty hopeless. We pursue every avenue possible to receive love and acceptance, but the one and only way that truly fulfills so we pursue these, but ignore the truth that fulfills the wonderful fact is the unchanging truth is we are just one step away from change because there is hope and now for some of these truths, we cannot change the past, but we can start a new story.
There is hope we cannot redo history or undo history, but we can turn and start a new way to live in truth and love. We cannot go back to yesterday or yesterday years. Nothing in the past can be changed, but the truth is we can make a change that will allow us to receive love, no acceptance, and not feel abandoned or not good enough any longer. We're just one step away from change to begin to live. Loved. It sounds simple and it is, but it's not easy to implement. There is no quick fix, but there is a lasting change. Truth. The definition of truth is a verified or indisputable fact or principle. It's agreement with a standard or original. Our culture doesn't often want truth, not real truth, but when I'm about to tell you requires an openness to hear truth and my hope is that you will embrace it.
Why? Because I care about you. I don't want you stuck in the lies in the story that you've been told and continue to tell yourself. I want you to pull that thread of a lie from the fabric of your life and the change of which I speak of has four components. Now stay with me here. I'm telling you this because I care for you. That's why I'm doing this podcast. So the change of which I speak, the four components, surrender, forgiveness, truth, which then yields abounding, enduring love. The first word surrender. It sounds scary, doesn't it? The concept of surrender, but please stay with me. Surrender. It leads to thoughts of giving up without hope, without power, surrender to brainwashing, checking your brain at the door type of thinking, but the surrender of which I speak is life giving and life changing. A trade of are messed up.
Life to a new life and a new beginning, a surrender of the old way of doing things for the new, as designed by as designed way of doing things. This surrender is the getting rid of the old and receiving the new sounds great, doesn't it? How often do we go bag up and surrender our old clothes? We no longer we no longer like and then take the money and buy new. That's the surrender of which I refer to, but it's much better. Another element of this surrender, and you can call it faith, is a bit like getting into our car every day. Every time we get into our car, we surrender unconsciously to the car maker skill, trusting that the car will perform as expected, surrendering to the functionality of the vehicle, and it's designed to get us to our destination safely. We do this type of surrender everyday without thinking, and we do it in different ways beyond just driving or getting new clothes, so the surrender of which I speak unburdens and unchains our souls.
It allows us to walk in the freedom of what we were meant to be. It allows us to use our unique gifts to their fullest potential and these gifts you may not even have thought of for years having tucked away this surrender allows us to embrace our true identity. This surrender is to God and his way to surrender to the one who created us in his image to reflect his character in our gifts and talents, and with surrender comes forgiveness. We must all live in forgiveness, not forgetfulness, but active forgiveness, making that choice. We may say we have no wrongdoing to which we need forgiveness, but let me ask you these questions. Consider this. Are you speaking truth to your soul each day? Are Your words spoken or unspoken? True and loving, kind and encouraging. Always. Have you ever told a lie? Have you ever spoken harshly to someone? Have you ever taken a paper clip from the office or made copies without paying for them at the office?
The truth is we all need forgiveness. We need to lighten our soul, a receiving forgiveness and then extending forgiveness to others, forgiving others as well as receiving forgiveness, and we are just one step away from forgiveness. There is no series of steps only a receiving of what has already been done for you then extending to others to forgiveness you received from the one who created you. The Bible also speaks of truth. I love it. That truth is unchanging. Our stories, our perceptions are everchanging. Contemporary Culture may call them our truths, but they're not truths. Truth is constant. It's static, it's unchanging, and that's really good news. Amidst life's chaos and mess, we can cling to unchanging truth, much like a shelter in the cleft of a rock. In the midst of a storm, we can find shelter and foundation in truth which allows us to embrace something better, to embrace and live a loved life which allows us to create a lovely life to live loved as author Lisa terkeurst says, to live loved is not awesome and we're just one step away from that, from change, from turning and coming to life as it was supposed to be.
One step away from enjoying living life on purpose, living life out loud, using all our gifts and talents, living loved, love getting our soul filled with love. We have long for perhaps you have. Strive for this longer than you would care to admit. Trying everything and finding that nothing fills your soul. Need. Love a settling into just being and receiving love, a confidence and peace that you are loved because the creator of the universe declares his love for you and the evidence of that love is found in his son Jesus, Jesus, Yeshua, Messiah, Savior on the Cross for me and for you, he demonstrated surrender. The king of all creation demonstrated, demonstrated surrender with his arms wide open and surrender to God. The father, Jesus, his arms wide open to receive those who receive him and this life of love. It's not one about restrictions or regulations and rules, religion that mankind has created that has no life of love.
This love life is all about relationship. A relationship with the one who loves perfectly his life in us is a grand awakening to all we were and are created to be his life in us is abounding joy and grand adventure and this life given us until until death do us part. We soon come to realize that his love has never let us go. That one step perhaps for you, it may just be turning back around to him or it may be stepping into the invitation he has given you by his life, for you. In his presence is where our soul is nourished, filled, loved. Take that step. You're not alone and you never have been. Truth tells us the issue. Truth gives us a solution. Surrender is the step for reconciliation to God where we can receive the love, our heart longs for surrender to God, receiving his forgiveness and in turn extending forgiveness to others.
Then receiving what we have long for love, belonging, acceptance, and our best life is up ahead. Are you ready to step into it? God's word to us in his story of his plan for humanity and it doesn't include the striving and the shame. We have lived his words to tell us the truth, and I love this. He has a new name for us, a new name for a new beginning. He has a new life and an invitation to join him on this magnificent journey any eternity which starts now. I'm so thankful that you joined me today, Sandra Vernon, with the art of connection. -
Have you ever been afflicted with rats you know, really awful thoughts or been plagued with stinking thinking? Do you find that you are stuck in life and can't move along? On today's podcast, I am both honored and excited to have my friend and published author Kathy Anderson, as my guest. She is an expert on making choices about what she thinks on call it mindfulness or call it mindset reset. Kathy offers help to those who are stuck in negative thinking. Let me tell you a little bit about my guest. Cathy Anderson is a teacher, a public speaker, student of Biblical Studies, and Longtime Christ follower. She is one of the kindest women I have ever had the pleasure to know. She is a friend to so many women with joy in her eyes and a smile on her face. She demonstrates putting others first with her care and love. Kathy has been married to her amazing husband, Dan for over 30 years.
Their love story is one of faith and love that is pretty incredible. Kathy, his mom to three grown children, one daughter in law, and she's a grandma to one grandbaby. Kathy enjoys writing music, reading and writing books, and loves anything related to health and fitness. Her journey to reclaim her health is inspiring. She currently lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where she teaches health and fitness classes for women who have been rescued out of sex trafficking. Cathy's new book, recalculating walkaway from negative thinking with the course correcting power of words was released last fall and became an Amazon's hot new release as well as an Amazon number one best seller. So here with me on today's podcast is Kathy Anderson. Cathy, thank you so much for joining me today. Sandra. It is such an honor to be here on your show. Thank you. Well, Kathy, we shared a little bit about your topic about recalculating.
Could you tell us more about your topic and why it's so important? Sure. Sandra, you know, you probably remember the Tom Tom Navigation system prompt that would chime in, you know, anytime that there was a roadblock or a detour or like a traffic jam and it would say the words recalculating and then it would find you a new route to get you to your destination. It would redirect you so you could still get to where you wanted to go and I got to thinking, wouldn't it be nice if our lives actually came equipped with our very own internal navigation system that would recalculate another route for us whenever our lives got off track? Wouldn't that be. Yes,
Yes, and in our society that we live in right here in the US, I, I think especially here in the metropolitan hubbub, you know, the east coast where I live, negative thinking is just one of those roadblocks in our lives. Negative thinking is just so pervasive and widespread. It, it just seems to dominate the tone of most of the media. The at facebook or other social media, TV, you know, podcasts talk shows and I find that I can hardly have a conversation anymore without some sort of negativity creeping in and just dominating the direction of the discussion and it just seems like negative negativity is just steering the focus of our lives and it's sowing seeds of discouragement and depression, anxiety and really it's just all around us and it's. It's basically infiltrated the very fabric of our nation and it's actually making us sick and because people have been so immersed in negativity, they think, speak and behave negatively as a result.
So you know, when you're steeped in it, it gets in you. It becomes part of you. And you know what's so fascinating to me, Sandra, it's that most people don't even realize that they're trapped in a negative mindset and that they need to recalculate. You know, to find another route, another pathway to a healthier way of thinking, speaking and behaving. And so I wrote my book recalculating as sort of a guidebook to give a new set of directions to take us off the negative road that we often find ourselves on and our words are a huge part of the course correcting process. So my book basically helps the reader to identify areas of negativity in their life and to make a course correction by implementing an amazingly effective technique that God actually invented. And it's called renewing your mind. And so it's basically just learning to think the way God thinks and you know, it's, it's all based on scripture rather than thinking the way the world around us. Thanks.
Well that's, that's really very compelling thoughts and I know that would resonate with so many people and as you said it, we become a meshed in that thinking. We aren't even aware of it sometimes.
What are some common myths related to negative thinking? Well, I would say that one common myth is that a lot of people believe that it's normal and appropriate to speak negatively if a situation isn't going the way that they'd like and that to speak otherwise is being fake or is being phony or hypocritical. But this couldn't be farther than the truth. Sandra, because you see it's okay to not like something that's happening. And to be honest about it and to be upset by it, but it's not okay to stay there in that negative place. See what I'm saying is it's not okay to marinate yourself in that negative mindset. It's actually scientifically proven to be hurtful to the body and the mind to do that. Wow. And the amazing thing is it's these very situations, the ones that we don't like that are the very situations that we need to be recalculating our thoughts so that they steer away from negative thinking and to embrace a different faith-filled perspective.
One that aligns itself with how God sees the situation. And you know, this is, this is simple, but it's really, it's, it's profound in its life, a life changing concept for most people and it can truly revolutionize, revolutionize their lives. Yeah. Oh, that's, that's wonderful. Have you run into the other myths that people have a question to ask you about? Um, yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot. Um, I'm sorry I wasn't prepared for all that. That's okay. If you don't mind. I was just going to have, as you were talking, it made me think about, um, because I think we think it's mutually exclusive. Um, I had, uh, it seems silly now, but my two dogs got lost and it was pretty traumatic for me and my, my daughter as I'm going through this and just agonizing over them. Um, and my daughter said to me, mom, no matter the circumstances or the outcome, are you going to be able to praise God?
Yes. So is that Kinda what you're speaking of with thinking? Yes. Brilliant. Just aligning yourself with how God sees the situation and to be able to be thankful because you know, when you're renewing your mind and you're recalculating away from the negative, even if that situation doesn't change, you have changed. And what your daughter reminded you to do was really to have a faith filled perspective, to keep your eyes focused on God. Even though you know something terrible was happening and the unknown was there with, you know, your, your pups that you love so much and you were able to steer your way away from that negative thinking and to just keep a faith filled perspective by, you know, by keeping your focus on the Lord and thanking him. Well, and I like what you said is that also reminded me that, you know, I certainly couldn't be thankful for that circumstances.
My dogs were lost. They were in peril, but I could be thankful in that circumstance because God is saying he doesn't change according to circumstances. He remains the same. That's right. Absolutely. Oh, that's wonderful. Well, your book, which I've had the pleasure to read, is it speaks about your own journey and challenges in life. Would you please share with us which hurdles you personally faced and how did you overcome them? Yep. So, so earlier I referred to a scenario describing how two different people might choose to walk through the same set of difficult circumstances. You know, one was a negative perspective and one with a face perspective. And I used illness as an example. Well, I was both of those people. I was describing my own responses as I walked through a debilitating illness just a few short years ago actually. And I'm still walking down that healing road.
I'm not completely well yet, but I'm approaching greater health and vitality each day. But, um, so my story is when, when my doctor told me that I would be dead by Christmas, which at the time was only about six months away, I knew that I needed to do something pretty major. And that's when the Lord led me to discover the dynamic power of really renewing my mind. And, and so, you know, God speaks and it's done. He's, he's the god of endless possibilities. And he uses his words to create all that there is. And he still uses his words to recreate, to create. And we're made in his image. So just like our heavenly father creates with his words, we have been granted the mind boggling privilege of using our words to create also and, and our thoughts. And our words are like tiny little seeds and they grow into plants that bear fruit in our lives.
And so what we sow, we reap because in Galatians it says people only harvest what they plant. And so for me, it had to start with the conclusions that I was making about my circumstances, my health and the diagnosis that I was given. I had to make a choice. Was I going to become engulfed in what I saw with my eyes and felt in my body and what was happening around me? Or was I going to view my situation at a higher level? You know, just basically daring to believe what God said about me in his word and about my circumstances. So I had a choice there. And as difficult as it was, much of the time I chose to trust and embrace what the Lord says was my inheritance in his word. And I chose to trust that over my circumstances. So it was a conscious choice.
And so I began reading and writing out scriptures about health from the Bible. And I began reading them to my body. And now I know that, that sounds really silly, but that's what I did. I read to myself out loud. I prayed over myself, um, I asked others to pray over me. And another thing that I did was I kept a really tight guard over my mouth, meaning, um, I was very careful about what I said and didn't say during that time I had, I had previously been spewing out all kinds of negative things over myself. And, um, I knew I needed to stop that. And so, you know, I, I had been in such a habit of just saying things like, I feel so terrible, you know, I can't stand this man, this is killing me. And if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to just die.
And, you know, I was saying things like that. And so I, I realized that in order to renew my mind and to recalculate, I, I needed to eliminate that negative speech. And I instead, I started incorporating more faith filled, positive, hopeful speech that was in alignment with scriptures. So, you know, I went from speaking negative things and spewing out all the junk to myself. I went from that to saying things like, you know, I, I might not be feeling like a million bucks right now, but God is in the process of healing me and that's his promise to me and I'm getting there. And, and Sandra, I would actually say to my body, I would actually say, listen up. Jesus died for you here. The good news of the Gospel. By his stripes you are healed. And I, I would read scripture after scripture and just announced to my body the good news.
I would say, Hey, body, he's healing your disease. You know, one of these days you're going to be back outside going for a run because I love running and you know, by the way, I have been going for short runs with my husband. So I'm already at that place again where I'm, my body has healed enough where I'm, I'm exercising more vigorously and you know, I'm running like I used to sew. So changing my thoughts, changing my speech, aligning it all under scripture. All of this made an incredible difference and it aided me on my healing journey. So I would say no matter what kind of circumstances that we may find ourselves in, you know, that our listeners are finding themselves in. We, we constantly get to decide whether we will choose negativity and embrace it and act on that or to trust and embrace and take action on what God says in his word.And I'm convinced that if I had not made a course correction away from, you know, my self fulfilled prophecies basically, you know, spewing out negative pronouncements and destructive speech over my body and my situation. I really believed that I would not be here sharing today with you. I firmly believed that and I, I firmly believe that because I incorporated renewing my mind and I made that course correction away from negative thinking and instead began aligning myself with what God says in scripture about health and wholeness. And, and because I began speaking out those abundant life giving words over my life. I really believe that God used all of that. And you know, he, he granted me lifesaving healthy. He gave my vitality back to me.
That's just such a great story. And I, I recall meeting you when you were in the midst of this journey, um, and just listening to you and hearing your story, which has gave me a great deal of thinking of thinking things to thinking points, um, because if you think about it, we speak so negatively to ourselves on so many factors and yeah, you throw in an illness, a life, a debilitating illness, one that could actually take your life. Um, yeah, the negativity can just flow. So how, what a story of hope you've shared that and when we have a choice, I love how you pointed that out. We have a choice on what we're going to think on and um, that is just, I love that Kathy, I really appreciate you sharing that with us and how exciting to hear that you're able to get out there and start running again.
Something that you love. That's awesome. Wonderful. And well, you know, that made me think about if you could share with our listeners what are, um, what is your best tip or do you have a few tips for someone who's struggling with negative thinking and speaking? And you know, I know sometimes the words that proceed from our mouth affect others, but also the messages we tell ourselves as you had pointed out, impacts us greatly and impacts our perspective on life. So do you have a few best tip or a few tips you could share with us that people are struggling?
Sure. Well, I would say, um, well my best tip would be first of all, to encourage that person who is struggling with negative thinking and speaking to just get some time to be with the Lord, to just carve out some time and devoted to prayer and, and really just to honestly share your heart and your situation and where you're at with him. And then take some time to listen. Spend, spend some time with, with the eyes and ears of your heart wide open and just just listen for what he might be saying to you about your situation and, and get into the word and don't just race through you know, your devotions, but really interact with the word of God and, and let it get in you. And find out search for what God says about you and, and just marinate in that I have a whole chapter in my book devoted to you and what God says about you.
And I would say that's the starting point. Just really get reacquainted with God because you know, how sometimes our situations and our circumstances and that happened to us can just ravage us and we forget who we are. We forget whose image we are created in and we forget our, what our inheritance is. And so I would say that's the first step. And next I would, I would say invest time into seeking out those scriptures that speak into your situation and write them down. Memorize them, speak them out, pray them out. You know, because because what you're doing is you're sowing seeds and the Lord promises that those seeds are gonna grow. They are not going to return void. So, so as many seeds as you can just get the word in you. And then, you know, which brings us back to the point of, you know, we really have to ask ourselves what kind of seeds are we really selling?
You know, what kind of fruit do we really want to produce in our lives because our words will either be a life source or a noose around our necks because those are words give us direction. So we need to be asking ourselves these questions. What do we want to produce? Where do we want to go? Because our words are what's going to get us fair, and if we're echoing the words of God, then you know that art direction and what we're going to produce is going to be life giving and it's, and it's going to be where God wants us to be. So, so you need to determine where you want to go and you need to align yourself with the word of God that speaks into your situation. You know his, his words, the light that illumines our path. So, um, his word is very powerful and it and it, and it can create change in us when we embrace it.
So that's what you want to be doing during this time. You want to really be embracing the life changing word of God. And, and basically you, you're, you're learning to trade old for new, so you're trading a corruptible mindset for an incorrect double mindset and, and your training, hopelessness for hope and you know, in my case of death for life, you know, your trading old for new and who doesn't want new and no kids. And that's really the essence of, of recalculating. That's, that's it's changing course. It's walking away from negative thinking. It's changing direction at that roadblock and it's using the power of God's word to proceed in a different, you know, transformational direction that brings vitality and life. And Hope.
I'm just sitting here smiling as I hear you speak and think, yeah, who do you want to have the old junk and the old garbage, the trash heap or would you like to have nice brand new, wonderful things. It doesn't seem like there's much of a choice there. It's kind of obvious. Um, and it is, I love that, that, um, three powerful world words, I am responsible because we're responsible for what we're going to think on and which are encouraging us to do by reminding us that our mindset, the things we think on sets the trajectory, as you said earlier for our life. Yes. That's just what I love this message. You really encouraged me and I appreciate you sharing. Great. Fantastic. Well, um, we, you and I had chatted before and you had mentioned a contest with a gift offering to the winner. So I was wondering if you would tell us a little bit about what you were thinking with our contests. Yes. Gladly.
Um, I was thinking that listeners can like, comment and share this podcast via social media, your facebook or whatever social media you find yourself using and um, when they do that, they will be in the running for a free audio version of my book, recalculating. So they can like, comment and share and then we will go through those and pick a random winner. And I'm a sign that that audio book gift.
Oh, that's terrific. And I tell people, I tell you, listeners, this is a book you want to have. It's, it's a not a difficult read, but it's certainly one that just really ministers to you deep down. And Cathy, you had mentioned in your book also, you give us a checklist of some starting to remind ourselves and tell our soul who we are. That's right. So, yeah. So, um, this is definitely a book you want Kathy's offering it for free, for the winner of this contest as she said, like follow. And if you would also, I'm subscribed to this podcast. This is the art of connection and I'm the host, Sandra Vernon. Um, but you could like and follow Kathy Anderson on facebook and you can follow me, Sandra Vernon on his face society on both instagram and facebook and what we'll do, um, once, uh, after today's podcast, we'll get the contest one week.
[30:25] So one week from today we will be announcing the winner and we'll do it via our social media. Cathy on her facebook page. Again, it's Kathy Gammas, Anderson and I will announce it on face society, on instagram and on facebook. And who those winners are, so be watching for that. It will be, the winner will be randomly selected. Um, of course. I don't know, Kathy, there might be bonus points for those people who subscribe to this podcast. I don't know, just thinking so, um, well Kathy and I know people are going to want more information about you. Um, I don't know if you could just give us maybe one more little interesting bit about you that they may not know or they may not be able to discover on your facebook page or maybe something that would be there.
Um, something, something interesting about me. Yes. Well, let's see. Um, well, you know, you mentioned earlier in the introduction that I'm, I'm passionate about health and fitness and so it has been such a joy for me to be teaching health and fitness and nutrition at northstar initiative with the deer women there that have been rescued from a life of sex trafficking. And so, um, that is something that I felt I could, I could use this actually. They've recalculating a renewing your mind encouragement, um, with these women as well. And so, um, yeah, so, so I, I love to help people, body, soul and spirit.
Didn't I tell you, listeners, she's an awesome lady. I'm at. If you ever had the privilege to, to meet her, um, maybe she'll have a book signing one day. Who knows? Um, she's pretty incredible. It's a real blessing. I'm Kathy. Thank you so much for joining me today. It has been a delight. I loved hearing all your story and of course your book. It's great.
Incredible. Thank you. It's been a joy for me to be on here. Thank you so much.
You Bet. Kathy, this is Sandra Vernon with the art of connection. Thank you for joining me and Kathy today. And don't forget to enter the contest. Remember, you can like and follow Catholic Amash Anderson on facebook. You can follow a sander vernon. I'm face society on instagram and on facebook and join the contest and then look on September 10th, we'll be announcing the winner. It'll be randomly selected. Thank you again. -
Waiting, waiting in line at the food store, do you always search out the shortest line or the line? It seems to be moving the quickest only to have it slow to a turtle's pace. Once you join it, waiting in traffic as it snarls along, slowing to a snail's pace, waiting for your turn for your appointment, the your next phenomenon, waiting in a queue only to have someone but in line and boy are you irritated. Waiting, not my strength as I mutter under my breath at the annoyance and the nerve of some people. Are you waiting for anything on today's podcast? This is what I will be talking about. Waiting, waiting on these little things, the waiting in line at a food store or a box store waiting for your turn in line, waiting to be called for your appointment, but then there is this other type of waiting waiting until we do something or accomplish something or achieve something.
Perhaps waiting for something to come to an end or for a new beginning. Waiting. It isn't my strong point. It often feels more like punishment or banishment. Delayed gratification. Why must I wait? Whether self imposed or beyond my control, I do not do well with waiting. I almost always ask why and in waiting when it's self imposed, it is usually as punishment like I won't buy myself nice clothes until I lose some weight because I don't want to buy fat clothes and like me with the clothes. Sometimes the waiting is self imposed. We put off things waiting for that perfect situation or until we lose weight or until we get our hair colored or until after vacation or waiting perhaps waiting for your children to get a bit older so you can pursue that hobby or dream or maybe waiting for a new job to arise or a circumstance to change so that you can enjoy life.
Waiting for circumstances to change leaves us in a state of discord with our soul. Our children deal with waiting. They can hardly wait until they are in the next grade or in high school or can go to college. We went through this to our children can hardly wait until they can drive until they are emancipated. They're waiting for that time to come. Oh, we miss so much when we focus on the waiting, why don't we put things off and wait. Sometimes it has indeed beyond our control, the waiting, like waiting for our farm to sell here in New Jersey. I must wait for the buyer to come along and see the wonder and beauty that I saw in this place or waiting to hear back from a possible job or opportunity. There is the waiting til you find that one you want to marry. This can be a hard waiting as months and years passed by waiting or married now, waiting to get pregnant.
Perhaps the heartrending waiting to see if you can get pregnant. Times of waiting. It can be a trial to our soul, a heaviness of our spirit, a weight on her heart, joy buried beneath the burden of waiting. Then there's this soul wracking waiting, the nerve wracking, waiting to hear back from the doctor about a diagnosis or a prognosis. Wondering as you wait, what will life look like after you received the news? How long will you have? How many days to be with the ones you love waiting or you may already have a medical diagnosis, but you wait to see how the situation will play out for you. What will life look like for you and your loved ones when you're dealing with this medical condition or there is a waiting to hear back from an adult child that has become a stranger, not having heard from them in weeks or months or perhaps even years wondering as you wait, what their life is like, how they're doing, waiting or there's the waiting here back from an attorney regarding an issue that looms like a dark cloud, waiting for responses.
What will happen in each imagined scenario? Waiting for answers, waiting. It's part of life's journey. Does it ever get easier? I don't think so. We wait, hands folded or wringing our hands and our hearts mind weighed down with worry, disturbing our thoughts and our sleep and our life, holding onto thoughts and worries and concerns and wondering as we wait. Yet we can't escape waiting and not being able to escape. The weighting feels almost like we are trapped. Hemmed in by three sides as we wait for the gate of the fourth side to open and we focus on the waiting. The. I can't wait until I graduate from high school. I can't wait until I finished college and get a good job. I can't wait until I get married. I can't wait until I have children. I can't wait until I'm doing the thing that I love.
We finally have enough money to take the vacations we want or purchased the house we want. We can't wait until that happens. Waiting instead of living and enjoying life now, waiting for the opportunity to happen or the event to occur or the news to be revealed. We wait and in most cases of waiting while we are waiting, we miss out on what is right before us. If we focus on the waiting amidst the weighting amidst the annoyances and the anx anxiousness, we miss life amidst the pain. Amidst the heartache we miss what could be we miss the life before us or when things are more grim, when the waiting is health related or financial burdens are relationship related. Still, when we focus on the waiting, we are giving it far more power than it's meant to have. Waiting does serve a purpose. If we had the right focus and the right mindset, it's not easy, the simple statement of waiting because it has a purpose, but this thought from Ann voskamp musing sums up what we can do while waiting and it changes our perspective.
It changes our mindset. This truth can be applied to any situation easier to deal with some than others, but it is applicable to any situation and says while waiting, do what waiters do. Serve easy but not necessarily simple. As I said, it begins with a mindset shift, and truly this mindset can be applied to any situation we faced, regardless of the difficulty and more powerful commensurate with how difficult the waiting is. For instance, my beloved friend and mentor, Helene, she served an even even when she was bedridden due to poorly executed healthcare, which eventually took her life. She continued to reach out to women to encourage them in their life's mission, speaking truth to them, her mindset was serving even if it meant no longer traveling abroad. To share her message even well, it meant that her arena was now beside her hospital bed. She still served in her waiting, a sweet young woman, a new bride has stage four breast cancer, yet she serves with her blog and her kind spirit.
She is painfully aware that her time is short, but her mindset is to educate, encourage, and share her journey of facing cancer. You can check out her [email protected] queen. Friends who are financially in very difficult situations offer help to those indeed. Friends who have a large family on a small income waiting for there needs to be met. Seek ways they can help and share and give, and as heart eight crushes us, waiting for a relationship to be restored. We can lift others hearts and encourage them serving them while we wait. What I'm saying is that we can serve while we're waiting in whatever circumstance we are waiting for, even when it is difficult and seemingly impossible, it is a mind mindshift should excuse me, a mind shift that must occur. So I began asking myself as I've had a season of waiting, how I can serve those in my life as I wait because my waiting, it is by comparison much easier than the ones I described.
Nonetheless, it is still challenging to remain mindful, engaged in the moment, refusing to worry about each scenario that creeps into my mind while I wait. Rather I serve, I'm. I'll be there for others. I served by listening and caring and sharing. There are ways to serve while in the waiting phase, there are ways to serve well in the wilderness, have life when things are not particularly clear as to what the next step is. And this is right where I am. Have you ever experienced this too? So while we wait, we serve. There are ways to serve right in our backyard and oftentimes in our homes. So today I have asked myself how can I serve my young adult children? Each one is going off on their own life journey with changes and challenges all their own. How can I serve my husband and I do not mean this as being his doormat, but how can I make his day a bit easier?
How can I walk in his shoes, having and showing compassion for all he goes through each day? How can I serve my friends each with their own sandwich, life of caring for children at home and parents and need friends that face health challenges or financial challenges or emotional pain? I also asked myself, how can I serve elsewhere in my current neighborhood, in my current community and beyond? Sometimes the serving is just greeting a neighbor and visiting with them as we see one another at the mailbox or in the local store. Sometimes the serving is offering a smile to someone who may not return it, but they've seen it. They've seen your smile serving can be actually asking the cashier how they are doing and really mean it, engaging their heart, and I love this example of my serving. An example of serving my dear friend always does.
After placing our meal order, she asks the server since we will be praying over our meal, is there anything that you would like prayer for? Out of the numerous times I have witnessed her asking this, the response is heartwarming. There has only been one time where the waiter has said, no, I'm good. Everyone else was so touched by her caring and by her serving even in my cyber community as I wait. How can I serve and share? There's always good we can do. There's always ways to reach out serving and loving others. My heart is stirred by the stories who reach out from their hospital bed waiting but serving. There are stories of those who are imprisoned for their faith, having done nothing wrong yet they keep keeping continue serving, and there are those who have little yet served out of what they have while we wait served.
It changes our perspective. It changes the way we think and respond, and sometimes most of the time really if I'm in a funk serving kicks, that stinking thinking right out that funk of not wanting to wait, that funk of impatience and ingratitude, I'm not promoting buisiness. We have enough of that going on in our lives, but rather a heart of serving and there is a huge difference between business and serving others and the weighting it gives us that quiet time, that self imposed or circumstance imposed time to reflect and think as we serve and if we are Christ followers, the weighting gives us more time with him, with less distractions. Frenetic busyness eliminated. Instead, the quietness of waiting. A dear friend reminded me of this privilege to hang out with God in response to a post. Ultimately, the waiting is a time to draw close to Jesus, eliminate buisiness and distractions and it may look like not a lot is going on, but waiting on him is the ultimate and best use of our time.
Reflecting on life, growing a, settling in, a settling of who we are, our true identity. This can be the fruit of waiting. If we have the right perspective and the correct mindset, just as with developing any relationship, we get to know God in the only way humanly possible. By time, time with him and in so doing, our soul is filled and refreshed them. It can know how better to serve and have the resources to serve. Truth is this is the only way it really can happen and be sustained, waiting and while waiting. Serving because in serving we can love even while waiting, serve and love. Serving is a form of loving. Oh, that word waiting. It sounds punitive to me until I meditate on it's wonderful benefits time with God, the father and opportunities to do good and serve. Waiting, enjoying the quiet, enjoying the stillness, enjoying the presence of God, mindful of opportunities to serve others in love. While we wait, until next time, this is Sandra Vernon with the art of connection. Thanks for joining me. -
What is a healthy body image? Do you have one or do you know of anyone who has one, and if they do, are they truly satisfied with what their body looks like? Hi, Sandra Vernon with the art of connection and on today's podcast I will be addressing the issue of body image and how we can choose to reign in this runaway negative thought pattern that does more harm than good and achieving the goals for fitness, health and a joy filled life. And when we ran in our thought pattern to conform to a positive body image, we begin to a positive movement and momentum that is perspective changing and life impacting. I go through three fleeting moments where my body image is positive and accepting. I'm working on and making progress in these positive body images being more sustainable, but I still struggle with longer periods where I silently yet nearly constantly remind myself what my mirror self tells me.
And at eight pretty or I see a picture of myself and I think a hug. I look like a turtle and then I even say meaner comments like I look like Jabba the hut or that my neck and Chin makes me look like an Iguana. Wow. How mean is that this self-loathing is harmful and it strengthens the message. Shame gives us and the message is all about image, body, image and appearance which is fleeting in and of itself. The sands of time shift, the inevitable occurs as gravity does its work. Sure we can slow the process. We can live our most healthy, healthy self and these are good things to do to live healthy, but the obsession to achieve and maintain a look that is computer curated or photo edited is so unfair. It's unfair because it's impossible to achieve. It's. It's what the media shows us.
Why the obsession? Obsession with appearance. Why not focus on overall wellbeing? Instead, after all, should our happiness be based on our appearance and how we view our body? Shouldn't life be more about how we are walking out our life with purpose, living out our personal mission and vision? Shouldn't we live life and have it be how successful our relationships, our and our personal health, the obsession with appearance will fall into its place, proper place. Then when we focus on these other things, and it is a process to go through the building up of a healthy, positive body image, it takes time to curate positive affirmations, speaking to yourself in a positive manner, letting your brain grasp the message, letting it sink in, and then uproot. The negative thinking is like weeding a garden. You get the soil cleared out and it looks great until a few days later.
Weeds appear eventually with continuous weeding. They're all eradicated. The weeds from the garden and the negative self talk can be also be eradicated from our minds, but we must remain diligent in our mind. Weeding. For instance, I confess that I'm still waiting because it is a process and with me over the past several years, the things I told myself cosby to avoid dressing rooms all together and then I was only buying clothes that were big, boxy, loose and comfy. Yet these clothes though they were soft and comfy, left me feeling frumpy and unattractive, especially when I caught myself passing my image of myself in the mirror and then again the negative talk ensued so then I would go to my closet for something else to wear to look nicer and seeing clothes I want spit into each piece seemed to accuse me and shame me, leaving me feeling pretty bad about myself from the clothes on my body and clothes in a closet I could no longer wear.
And then here's where the choice comes. And this is where I came to this hinge point. So today, ladies, this is our call to action. The process I went through is realizing I could continue to do what I was doing, which left me feeling unconfident and oftentimes flat out rotten about myself or I could choose to dress my body with kindness. And by this I mean choosing clothes that fit my body and in turn maybe feel a bit better. With this turning point comes forward. Momentum for change. So my hinge point, what I learned was I had a choice. I could either spend my life being at war with my body and hating it endlessly, dieting or trying some new fad out. They're shaming myself for getting to this point in the first place, using exercise as punishment rather than Movement for pleasure, or I could choose to embrace my body, move it for pleasure and live a joy filled life now and in the process of making healthy changes and increased fitness, I could start dressing like I wanted to now rather than waiting till I lost weight, which never seemed to happen.
It was a horrible cycle, so I am no longer going to be miserable. I'm bummed about my size. I chose to embrace my body where it is now, and this is a process as I remind myself each day, that body image is not about how I look in the mirror or in the image I hold in my mind, but body images about how I feel about the way I look and it's a thing to be developed for me. It starts out with being okay with my current Avatar. Yeah, I liked the synology, referring to our bodies as an Avatar. Just moving toward liking my body just as it is just as I am, and here's the step by step process I took. They're really just five little steps. The first one was I created a, what I wrote, uh, what, which is really just setting a goal for myself.
I was very descriptive in what I wanted to achieve for my body image. For instance, I wanted to have a body positive that is consistent and lived out loud as, as an example to others. And then I had to write a vision for myself, uh, why? Why do I want this for my life and how will my life be different in obtaining this school? I knew if I had a, a positive body image, it would impact all other parts of my life. Step two. So step one was running a goal and a vision of what do you want and why do you want it? Step two, once I had a goal and a vision for my goal, I created some action steps to get the ball rolling. You have to have momentum to make change. And creating action steps was where I had measurable goals and this was essential to see that I was making progress or tweaking things if I needed to, if I got stuck somewhere, step three, then I began doing body positive things, speaking kindly to my mirror image.
I started with just a glance in the mirror because I mostly avoid them and then I built from there. Now I give myself I can't eye contact while they brush my teeth with my charcoal infused toothpaste, also known as black toothpaste and I actually check out my outfit in the mirror before leaving the house. These two practices alone were unheard of months ago. Then getting movement into my day, also known as exercise every day, and it's things that I enjoy. I have never been one who really loved the gym, but I do enjoy pilates and Barre classes. I enjoy walking and hiking and riding my horses. Accountability is key too, and this is where face society was birthed and flourishes in community and accountability without competition. So I surrounded myself with ladies who encouraged me, helped me over and challenges and I did the same for them. These things were my action steps in step three, step four.
The next step was an obstacle I had to step over. But Oh, did it make a huge difference? Here's what I did. I started shopping for nice looking clothes that fit me well, but I was so out of practice I needed help and here's the help I had and I highly recommend this help because it made a huge difference in this turning point for me. And I didn't wait till all the weight was off. I didn't wait to lay. Everything was positive and everything was kosher with me. I did this for myself in process. Um, so what I did is instead of just going to and pulling clothes off racks, ones that I knew were at least one size bigger than I needed and didn't concern myself much about style or fit, just coverage. I sought help and my little helper is stitch fix. I love this company, stitch fix.
And there are others like them, but this is the one I'm familiar with. I've used them since I started this process and continue to use them as my body. My avatar transitions, yes, I'm not the size I prefer to be and it is a size that is no longer appearance driven, but health driven in time. I know I'll get there, but I'm allowing myself clothes that make me feel lovely, make me feel comfortable and nice and not oversized so I no longer dressing frumpy clothes that just cover me, but I dress in a way that honors my body and the process I'm going through, and I'm doing this by dressing in a word Nice. The size issue is part of the process too, but I choose to no longer obsessed about it or saying mean things to myself about it. Step five, then I began making changes my health and fitness routine changes that were viable, sustainable, and reasonable changes that were no longer driven by our youth.
Obsessed media propagated culture, but changes that I knew were good for me, good for my mindset, good for my health, and through it all, I realized that we mom's model body image to our children in profound ways. Perhaps this alone will be the impetus for change to model positive image to your children in the midst of your process, even before you feel better about yourself. Body image, it is just our avatar and how we feel about it and it is too easy to be unkind to what we live in. It takes work to change the negative messages we tell ourselves, and these messages are reinforced by our society. Truly anything worthwhile takes effort and work, but it is so worth it. We become better versions of ourselves as we leave the hindrance, the negative body image that once changed, changed our souls and embrace with love where our soul lives in this magnificent body. Until next time, this is Sandra Vernon with the art of connection. You can follow me on face society, on instagram or facebook and coming soon. Pinterest. -
On today's podcast, I will be speaking about a popular word, but with a twist. Sandra Vernon here with the art of connection and the topic for today is beauty, but first a quote, would you agree with what Alice Walker has to say about beauty? Whenever we are creating beauty, we are restoring our soul. Before you answer, I want to first define beauty. Beauty is a combination of qualities that pleases the senses, especially site. We know what this beauty looks like. It is skin, deep fashion, conscious and captivates attention. It's often marveled at and just as often subjective because as the saying goes, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and the short view of beauty that we see beauty, the sands of time quickly adjust. There isn't art to aging gracefully and beautifully and when we focus not only on appearance but with this twist on beauty.
The aging process can be done with grace and it tends to be a breeze. The beauty of which I speak, the twist on beauty of which I mentioned is enduring beauty. This beauty, it's timeless and goes beyond the surface and while being partnered with appearance, it is not limited to the constraints of appearance. How often have you known of an incredible beauty? She's lovely to behold, only to have the illusion shattered when the word spoken are anything but beautiful or the attitude a cervic or downright nasty. Enduring beauty is a character quality. This beauty originates from our heart and soul. It is a beauty that scripture encourages we women to develop just as we can develop the skills of enhancing our physical beauty by learning how to artfully apply makeup style our hair and dress well, making the most of our appearance, the character quality of beauty can we also developed enduring beauty, pours forth out of a woman's heart that is filled with love.
Enduring beauty is focused on others. It's inviting, welcoming and encouraging. Enduring beauty creates and in so creating. Our soul is nourished and refreshed and each of us are uniquely equipped to create beauty in our lives. As I said, we do this with our appearance and also as we develop our character and yet beauty extends from our hands to when we put our unique gifts and talents to use. This is where each of us is unique. There is no one us and no one puts these gifts to work quite like you or quite like me. My friend is a jeweler. I love the pieces she creates and yet another friend creates Julie. That jewelry that is quite lovely to hers is just different and they're equally as beautiful jewelers. Both of them are but so different in how they apply their gifts. I have a friend or friends rather who are authors.
One writes fiction and a few others write nonfiction beauty in the creation with a message unique to each author. The beauty of gardens, whether floral or herbal or vegetable or some combination are beautiful, different, different textures, different fragrances, different colors. All beauty created by the hands of the gardener or the beauty of motherhood. Many of us have been blessed with each of us. Moms operating in our own unique flavoring of motherhood. It's beautiful, too often we refrained from using the very things that would bless others. I have found this in my life as I transitioned from motherhood, motherhood to Maven life, navigating new waters, sorting out past stuff that I was mired in and I found that I was mired in a shame storm for me, shamed kept my gifts under wraps, and if you want more information on shame, check out my podcast on that topic with shame.
I disqualified myself, disqualified myself from using any of my giftings because the shame message icon do convinced me that I had nothing of value to offer or contribute what ally and I listened to it. I believed it and I operated in it. Missing out on beauty and missing out on a lie a lot from this life. So when we do this, the world misses out on all we have to offer and all that we can contribute. Each of us have gifts and talents that are unique to the package of us. There are women with face society who are gifted with hospitality and entertaining. It just comes so easy and natural for them that they think they've done nothing. Yet there are women who create such lovely homes. They are places that are inviting, welcoming and peaceful, a place where we want to terry and spend some time.
It's creating beauty in their home and there are women who have a contagious sense of humor that invites all to participate in and enjoy, and then there are the bakers or chefs in our group who with ease, create delicious foods and treats. Each one of these unique gifts is in a way creating beauty. There are for either the young, the old or the infirm who's tender heart creates a place for safety and love. We create in our careers at home with friends at church where we might volunteer. They're all opportunities to create beauty using the gifts and talents that we have. And this is not an exhaustive list by any means. I just wanted to share so you could hear all of these beautiful gifts, many of which you might possess and don't even acknowledge them as gifts. And often we are far too easily and frequently say, ah, they're nothing.
Yet they're each a way and a means of creating beauty. And so I want you to use yours to create beauty where you are, the world needs you and what you have to offer to reveal enduring beauty in your sphere of influence. In this season of life. Don't believe me? Well, perhaps like me. Shame is chaining you down. Please check out my podcast as I mentioned earlier on shame. I don't want you to lose another day mired in shame. I spent way too many wasted years there we women are meant to nurture relationships and create beauty. And when we allow ourselves to operate in this manner, we experienced joy as we are creating our own unique, enduring beauty. We are created for nurturing relationships, creating beauty as a way to reflect who god is. We do this by cultivating the beauty unique to our lives, using the talents we have and in using these gifts are beauty is revealed more and more.
I love this truth. God, the master artist and creator of all things proclaimed on the last day of his creation that it was all very good after he made eve. Ladies, we are the crowning glory of all creation. Isn't that awesome? God proclaimed after each phase of creation that it was good. He was pleased with his work. Each day that he created and all the things that he created in it, he called it good, but it wasn't until eve was created that God proclaimed that it was not just good, but very good. Let that sink in. We need to walk in mindfulness of this truth. Truly the world needs what we women have to offer. We must ignore them, world's messages from the media, social media, etc. And claim to the truth of the feminine power through enduring beauty and loving, nurturing relationships. And as I said, it's going to be unique and wonderful according to each one of us.
How often in this world are women attacked or sequestered away or covered to hide their beautiful appearance? To prevent the world from receiving their beautiful offerings or perhaps the reverse? Exposing ourselves in ways that almost perverts captivating beauty and damages allure. Why this attack against women that has occurred since the beginning of time? It's precisely because we are the crowning glory of creation that the enemy of our souls wants to destroy or at least prevent us from creating beauty and blessing those around us. What we offer is women cannot be offered by men. Yes, they have their own unique contributions, but feminine power. It is not what the current culture is. Spouses, so when we allow ourselves to create beauty, we are reflecting god's character, quality of creating. We reflect a bit of how things were supposed to be and one day will be restored and we can live in this hope, the hope of restoration to operate fully in the captivating but that we were created for.
in the meantime, when we allow our beauty to be revealed, when we feel we are captivating, it is a thing to behold. It is feminine power at it's mightiest. Queen warriors, try this. If you are not driving or doing something that requires you to use your eyes, close them and think about. Imagine yourself when you feel your loveliest. What are you wearing? Be specific and describe this well, note the detail of your clothing and how you feel in it. Think about your hair and makeup. How has your hair fixed? How is your makeup different than the day to day wear or your lack of makeup? got your picture in mind. Hold on to it. One of the times I felt my loveliest was in a lovely gown that I wore to a fundraiser. The skirt is a stunning red silk with beating over the sweetheart bodice. There is tool under the skirt which gives this a ballgown effect and gives more of an hourglass figure.
My hair is an in an updated that makes me feel elegant and my makeup. It's simple, but it makes me feel pretty. I walk differently in this gown, not because of the small hills I am wearing, but because of an attitude I take on in this beautIful gown and as the evening progresses I find I am behaving a bit differently too, in a good refined way. Okay. How about you? What are you feeling? Dressed up in your loveliest. Can you imagine this or perhaps you need to work on even imagining this because sometimes we get stuck in our day to day life and can't imagine much else. That's okay. It takes practice as you give yourself permission to dream and imagine and a lot of the time it only requires that we actually get out of our sweat or sweats or yoga pants, put on some nicer clothes and a bit of makeup even if we are going to stay home all day.
Just doing this does wonders for shifting our mindset. Take some time to do this exercise and think about how you would go about your day dressed, elegantly dressed in your loveliest feeling, your love list. We are different wearing a ball gown than we are when we were our sweats or are yoga pants, but more importantly, it is a mindset to hold onto more than concerned for what we are wearing. Does this make sense? When we allow ourselves to feel and experience beauty, we can pour out beauty from our soul, from our heart, our accountants, and our confidence grows this mindset as we go about our day. Cultivating beauty around us is a great mindset to stay in as often as possible, elegant, refined, beautiful, and how we reach out to others and love even when in farm closed, mucking out horse stalls even while feeding the baby who spits the food out on your clothes, even while completing errands or jobs at work, you get the idea.
It's a mindset. This mindset is during mind is how we can go about our days confident as well as who we are as children of the king. Beautiful, lovely and yes, if we belong to god through jesus, we're royal, but too often we believe a line that was said about us or align that was said to us, perhaps it was that we are not enough, that we have nothing to offer, nothing to contribute. We're nothing to look at. We are too emotional or too sensitive and this line or lines, whatever the lies they might be. If we replay it often and oftentimes we add more to this message, the line becomes a label and soon the label becomes part of the fabric of our life. When we park our mind on a thought, reminding ourselves of the message, whether it's true or not, whether it's beneficial, hurtful, this changes our mindset, but the good news is that we have a choice on what to think on which thoughts we park our minds because if we allow the lies to persist, we prevent ourselves from cultivating the beauty in our life, in our character, in our appearance, in our work and in our world.
But we can choose to dump the lies and wrong thinking and choose to park our minds on a foundation of truth. So today's call to action cultivation. Yeah, I love the agricultural terms. It comes from reading scripture and also living on a farm these past 14 years. Ladies, the woman eve was created as a culmination. The crowning glory of all creation. We are to walk in this truth. This is our vocation created to cultivate beauty wherever we go and to live beautiful within during beauty because we are beauty cultivated. My sweet ladies, cultivate it first with your mindset, allowing your soul to revel in love and joy and beauty. Fill your mind and feed your soul with all that is good and true and lovely. Cultivate beauty in your character. This is enduring beauty and cultivate beauty in your appearance, walking in confidence and love. Let your beauty spill out and using your unique gifts and talents because when we cultivate beauty, we feed and restore our own soul follow phase society on instagram or facebook and let me know how you are cultivating beauty in your life and for those around you because when we share it encourages and blesses others. and at face society we are all about connection and community. So let's build one another up for now. This is sandra vernon with the art of connection. -
Our theology is best expressed in our hospitality. What do you think about this quote? What does our hospitality say about us? In today's podcast, I'll be talking about hospitality. It is another way we can connect with others and here at face society it's all about the art of connection. Hospitality. It is both something we do and a gift some possess. You know those people that are both warm and welcoming and have a home that is so inviting. It isn't that everything is perfect, but that these people have the gift of making their home come together in such lovely ways that I don't even imagine. I can't even imagine, but like those pinterest crafts I attempt to copy. We can all be hospitable offering hospitality just as we all have gifts. We can sing songs, doodle or draw and some are more gifted in these areas than others.
We each have gifts unique to ourselves that contribute to our world in ways that are beautiful, but even in these areas where we may not be gifted or we may not excel, we can learn and use these things. Hospitality, I believe is one of them. Hospitality, it's defined as the friendly and generous reception and entertainment have guests, visitors or strangers, and in this definition even I can practice hospitality. My home is never super neat and tidy. My place mats, if I remember to use them or a mismatch with one or two that should have been washed before being placed out for guests, but no worries. I just turned it over and let a family member used the dirty one. If I remember, I'll get fresh flowers, do a quick vacuum and a cursory dusting, tidy up a bit, the powder room and prep, whatever foods that will be offered.
I follow some lovely ladies on Instagram who are amazing and the creation of their banquet type title tables. They're truly gifted ladies and I admire their that gift and how they operate in it. I gather ideas from these ladies but also cut myself slack because this is not a natural or a gifting area of mine hospitality, but I opened my door to friends, acquaintances, and loved to entertain with theme parties and as hospitality is defined, I am hitting the mark. Hospitality doesn't always have to look all pretty, but she'd always fulfill a need for companionship, fellowship meeting, deep heart needs. Hospitality opens the door for connection and we can be hospitable everyday by being engaged in the moment with a person we are with listening, hearing, loving. This to me is being hos hospitable. It's offering hospitality. Offering hospitality is more of a mindset than a setting of a table.
I think that we can offer hospitality as traditionally in our home, but outside our home as well. Hospitality is most often opening up our home for others to come enjoy a meal and in and enjoy some companionship, but I think it doesn't need to be limited to this. We can practice doing one thing for one person that we wish we could do for everyone. I believe this is offering a hospitality. Perhaps it's visiting a lonely neighbor down the road. You know the one that you just never see come out very often. Sometimes their papers collected the end of their driveway. Reaching out to them in hospitality could do wonders, or perhaps hospitality is inviting a friend who feels left out or forgotten. I can't tell you how many times throughout my life I never quite felt like I fit in somewhere and then God bless a woman who would reach out to me and hospitality, inviting me in. So hospitality I believe is a mindset and heartset as much as having a beautiful home and a beautiful table set for people to come and enjoy. Perhaps hospitality is seeing a homeless person and inviting them to join you for a diner dinner and give them a meal regardless of what they might do after. Because this is a no judgment zone.
We want to just offer hospitality. It's a unique way to approach life because it offers a kind and safe place for others to recline for awhile. Most often in our home, but always in our presence. Those who join us can be our neighbors. A Study Group of book club or any group where they might meet in our homes so we can offer hospitality or it may be that we meet with a friend for a coffee or walk offering our hearts and our listening ear. I believe his hospitality to and as we do open our homes in our lives and hospitality, people can then let their guard down when they are around with around us. Trust begins to build and they feel safe to share their lives, both the pain and the joy that comes in their lives. As connections are developed and community grows in the offering of hospitality, and we don't need to create an attempt to explain a way suffering, but we can offer that a safe place for those who are suffering.
This is hospitality to how well do we live. Broken and open and honest. Is Our door open to our inner life wide open walls, broken down, living raw and authentic and honest and vulnerable. This is the call that Ann Voskamp says to us. Have you ever just wished you would be invited in to be a part of a gathering? Hospitality invites. It has the power to leave us vulnerable, approachable facade down and authenticity lived full on. The fruit of hospitality is manifold. With hospitality. We are creating a community community of living loved even in the midst of pain or suffering. If we each risk being vulnerable, living broken, as Ann Voskamp says, and living authentic, being genuine, then we can make a huge impact and a huge difference in the lives of others. And guess what? Along the way, our heart doesn't ache as much either what we believe is lived out in our actions.
It begins with our thought life, our mindset, so what we believe is lived out in them in the actions of our lives. Hospitality is one thought to set our minds on and grow in love. Hospitality is one way we can get out of our own way and live life and community and connection. We can reach up, reach out our hands and love. We can walk over to that hurting person. We can invite them in and sure along the way if we want to, we can learn how to make our table more beautiful, our food presentation more appealing from those who are gifted with hospitality. It is a gift for some one that I just acknowledge and and revel in and it is a skill that the rest of us can learn or copy. Today's call to action. We can practice doing one thing for one person that we wish we could do for everyone.
Let's make a difference. Let's offer hospitality to one person, then the next one, then the next one that comes along our way. Let's live our theology out loud for the world to see. Let's live what we believe, demonstrating that connections are an art to be practiced and community. I think that he cultivated where each of us can belong, live, loved, and experienced what it is to be beloved for the next seven days. Let's look out for ways that we can open our home in hospitality ways. We can extend hospitality outside her home. I would love to hear how it goes. Follow face society on Instagram or facebook and let me know our community would be encouraged to hear from you. For now, this is Sandra Vernon with face society. - Visa fler
