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Episode 116: "Narcissists don't want repair, they wan't control."
What if the person everyone admires is the very person making you question yourself behind closed doors?
This week, I'm joined by licensed creative arts therapist and narcissistic abuse specialist Melissa Guttman for a conversation that completely changed the way I think about narcissism, self-trust, and intuition.
We explore why narcissistic people are often highly successful, charismatic, and influential, why narcissistic abuse can be so difficult to recognize while you're in it, and how these dynamics slowly erode your ability to trust yourself.
Melissa breaks down the subtle signs of narcissistic abuse, the difference between emotional immaturity and true narcissistic patterns, why therapists often miss these dynamics, and what it actually means to go low-contact or no-contact with someone who continually harms you.
We also talk about intuition, betrayal blindness, gaslighting, and how healing often involves reclaiming access to what you already knew all along.
In this episode, we explore:
Why narcissists are often charming, confident, and highly successfulThe "mask drop" that often happens in narcissistic relationshipsLove bombing, devaluation, gaslighting, and coercive controlThe difference between vulnerable, communal, and grandiose narcissismWhy narcissistic abuse can feel so confusing and disorientingHow narcissistic dynamics show up in families, friendships, romantic relationships, and coaching spacesThe concept of FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt)Gray rock, yellow rock, low-contact, and no-contact strategiesWhy therapists sometimes unintentionally miss narcissistic abuseThe connection between narcissistic abuse and losing touch with your intuitionBetrayal blindness and the parts of us that learn not to know what we knowRebuilding self-trust after years of second-guessing yourselfConnect with Melissa:
IFS Witch Therapy Practice
Therapeutic Voice Lessons (You Are Song)
Melissa on Instagram (@fallengoldenchild)
No Bad Charts Podcast
Connect with Caitlan:
Book Power Move Here & Get This Current Pricing for Life!
Learn More About Power Move
Set up a Discovery Call to get 20 minutes of Caitlan's feedback on your business
Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 115: A workshop style podcast where we explore money conditioning, strategy & much more..sign up for Return+ on Substack for the full episode
A Return+ Subscriber Request….
The fun thing about Human Design is that there is no money center. No secret place where if you just try hard enough, you will unlock it.
It will give you a map to where you’ve been conditioned, where you may be leaking energy ($) and how opportunities find you when you are in alignment with your design.
You'll hear:
Why Human Design doesn't predict incomeHow money often follows alignment rather than forceThe connection between your open centers and financial conditioningWhy undercharging, overworking, and constantly proving yourself may have less to do with strategy than you thinkJournal prompts to help uncover your own money patternsThe full Return+ episode dives deeper into:
Money conditioning in every open centerHuman Design energy types and moneyGates associated with resources, influence, value, and prosperityType-specific money experiments you can try this weekIf you've ever wondered why certain money stories keep repeating....despite all the mindset work, strategy courses, and business advice....this episode offers a different portal to begin understanding & changing the patterns.
A portal that starts with understanding your energy first.
Subscribe to Return+ on Substack to unlock the full teaching.
Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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BONUS! EP! Calling all Summer House/ Reality TV Loversss...
Episode 114: Therapists React to the Summer House Reunion
What happens when two therapists sit down to process Summer House instead of just watching it?
In this bonus crossover episode, I'm joined by therapist, writer, and Practical Alchemy host Elizabeth Scott to unpack the Summer House reunion through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment, relationships, and parts work.
We talk about:
• Amanda and Kyle's decade-long relationship through an IFS lens
• Why some relationship ruptures compound when they never truly repair
• West's "ear stuff" explanation (yes, we go there)
• The difference between connection and intimacy
• What happens when protective parts take over a relationship
• Why Ciara's growth this season deserves far more attention than she's getting
• The emotional aftermath of the reunion and what never really got addressedAlong the way, we explore a question we couldn't stop thinking about:
What if reality TV came with actual therapeutic support?
This is Part 1 of what has accidentally become a much larger conversation. In future episodes, we'll dive into Amanda and Ciara's friendship, the fallout between Ciara and West, and—because we couldn't help ourselves—the astrology and Human Design charts of the cast.
If you've ever watched reality TV and thought, "Someone needs to get these people into therapy," this episode is for you.
Grab your Loverboy, your journal, or both.
We're going in.
Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 113: Trauma, Protective Parts & How They Impact Your Intuition
You know that feeling when everyone tells you to "just trust your intuition"—but you're not actually sure what voice you're hearing?
In this final episode of the Intuition Series, we're exploring one of the biggest reasons intuitive people struggle to trust themselves: protective parts and trauma.
Because anxiety isn't intuition.
Urgency isn't intuition.
Hypervigilance isn't intuition.They're often intelligent protective strategies that developed to keep us safe.
Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), Human Design, and my own experiences with grief, trauma, and healing, we explore how protective parts can become louder than our intuitive knowing—and what it takes to reconnect with the quiet wisdom underneath.
In this episode, we discuss:
Why trauma can disconnect us from our bodies and intuitive knowingThe role protective parts play in decision-makingCommon protective parts like the perfectionist, overworker, caretaker, avoider, and researcherHow to distinguish intuition from anxiety, fear, and protective strategiesWhy intuition often feels quiet, clear, and groundedHow grief, motherhood, stress, and major life transitions can impact self-trustSigns you're rebuilding a stronger relationship with your intuitionThe connection between Human Design, body awareness, and intuitive decision-makingYou'll hear reflections on:
My own journey rebuilding trust in my instincts after years of overriding themHow old wounds can continue influencing present-day decisionsThe difference between seeking certainty and practicing self-trustWhy reconnecting with intuition often requires more safety—not more informationMentioned in this episode:
Episode 110: Why Highly Intuitive People Stop Trusting ThemselvesEpisode 111: The Therapist Edge with Natalie DeeringEpisode 112: What Human Design Says About Your IntuitionEpisode 89: What has to go? Discernment: A Virgo Season Virtue We All Need Right Nowwork with caitlan hereSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 112: Human Design & Intuition: What Your Chart Says About Trusting Yourself
When most people think about intuition, they imagine a psychic lightning bolt, a dramatic sign from the universe, or a crystal-clear knowing that drops from the sky.
But what if intuition is much more ordinary than that?
In this episode, Caitlan explores how Human Design can help us understand the unique ways intuition naturally communicates through our bodies. From authority and decision-making to the wisdom hidden within each center of the chart, this conversation offers a practical roadmap for you to learn how to trust your intuition, step by step.
You'll learn why intuition often sounds quieter than anxiety, how trauma can disconnect us from our inner knowing, and why Human Design isn't about giving your power away to another system it's a map to knowing and understanding your body based intuitive clues.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
Why most people have been conditioned to distrust their intuitionThe difference between intuition, anxiety, urgency, and overthinkingHow each Human Design authority receives intuitive informationWhat your centers reveal about your unique intuitive giftsThe role of the Spleen, Sacral, Emotional Solar Plexus, G Center, Ajna, Root, and Throat in intuitive awarenessHow defined and undefined centers influence intuition differentlyWhy nervous system healing strengthens intuitive connectionCommon ways trauma and protective parts interfere with self-trustPractical ways to start rebuilding your relationship with intuition todayChapters:
00:00 Welcome back to the Intuition Series
04:02 What intuition actually looks like (and why it's usually not a lightning bolt)
09:45 Understanding Human Design authorities and intuitive decision-making
18:30 How the centers shape your intuition
35:30 Urgency, anxiety, and other things we mistake for intuition
43:30 Trauma, nervous systems, and losing touch with your inner knowing
50:20 Practical ways to strengthen intuition and rebuild self-trust
Links & Resources:
✨ Learn how you're uniquely designed to make decisions: Next Level Decisions (Free Audio Course)
⚡ Ready for clarity, momentum, and your next big move? Power Move Intensive
🌙 Explore more episodes, resources, and offerings: www.caitlansiegenthaler.com
Episode 1 (110) in the Intuitive Series
Episode 2 (111) in the Intuitive Series
Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 111: IFS, Intuition & Reclaiming the Therapist’s Intuitive Edge with Natalie Deering
What happens when therapists stop treating intuition like something “woo” and start recognizing it as information?
In this episode, Caitlan sits down with therapist, consultant, and host of the Intuitive Self Podcast, Natalie Dearing, for a conversation about Internal Family Systems (IFS), intuitive gifts, Theta Healing, creativity, and what happens when we stop forcing ourselves to fit inside the “blank slate therapist” mold.
Natalie shares how parts work unexpectedly became a pathway into deep intuitive development, why she started trusting the images and sensations she received in sessions, and how weaving spirituality into therapy transformed both her clinical work and her relationship with herself.
Together, Caitlan and Natalie explore:
the overlap between intuition and parts work how therapists disconnect from their own knowing what happens when we stop ignoring intuitive information creativity as a portal back to Self energy Theta Healing + IFS the role of mentors in intuitive development why pottery might secretly be therapyThis episode is for the therapists, helpers, highly sensitive humans, and intuitive people who’ve felt something deeper happening in the room and are ready to trust themselves a little more.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
How Natalie discovered therapy was her path The connection between IFS and intuitive development What “self-energy” actually feels like How intuition can show up through images, sensations, and inner knowing Why many therapists suppress their intuitive gifts How Natalie uses intuition ethically in therapy sessions What Theta Healing is and how it overlaps with IFS The importance of mentorship in intuitive work Why creativity and art can reconnect us to ourselvesChapters:
00:00 – “I Am Light” & self-energy as a song
03:30 – Natalie’s journey into becoming a therapist
08:00 – Human Design, generators & following what lights you up
11:30 – Therapy, intuition & evolving clinical work
15:00 – Discovering intuitive gifts through IFS & Theta Healing
20:00 – Practicing intuitive discernment
23:00 – Why mentorship matters in intuitive work
27:00 – Using intuition ethically in therapy sessions
35:00 – What Theta Healing actually is
43:00 – Creativity, spirituality & weaving modalities together
45:00 – The parts Natalie is holding close right now
46:30 – Pottery, presence & returning to yourselfLinks & Resources:
Connect with Natalie on her website & instagram Listen to the Intuitive Self Podcast Learn more about Caitlan’s work: Caitlan Siegenthaler WebsiteSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 110: Why Highly Intuitive People Stop Trusting Themselves: Returning to intuition after grief, trauma & self-doubt
After an intentional pause, Caitlan returns to the mic with one of the most personal episodes of the podcast yet. In this kickoff to a brand-new intuition series, she shares the raw and profound story of losing her father to pancreatic cancer and the intuitive hits, body sensations, dreams, and undeniable inner knowing that emerged throughout the experience.
This episode explores what intuition actually feels like beyond the curated “trust yourself” content online. Caitlan dishes on the ways intuition gets shut down over time through trauma, power dynamics, logic-only conditioning, narcissistic relationships, anxiety, and self-gaslighting — and what it looks like to slowly reclaim that connection.
From spirit guide experiences and dreams to Human Design, therapy, grief, and nervous system awareness, this conversation lives at the intersection of the mystical and the practical. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re intuitive, ignored a gut feeling, or felt disconnected from your own inner voice, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why intuition often gets dismissed in highly logical or professional environments The difference between intuition, fear, anxiety, and trauma responses How narcissistic or emotionally invalidating relationships disconnect us from our inner knowing The role Human Design, IFS, spirituality, and healing work can play in reconnecting to intuition Caitlan’s deeply personal story of intuitively sensing her father’s illness and passing The ways grief can heighten intuitive sensitivity and connection Why reconnecting with intuition requires unlearning as much as learningChapters:
02:45 — Mercury signs, astrology, and how we receive intuitive information
06:10 — What intuition actually feels like
08:02 — Intuitive vampires, gaslighting, and losing trust in yourself
11:30 — Anxiety vs. intuition: how to tell the difference
14:28 — Why reconnecting to intuition isn’t just meditation and journaling
16:40 — Childhood intuition, energy sensitivity, and early spiritual experiences
19:15 — Healing, IFS, and rebuilding a relationship with intuition
24:10 — Spirit guides, flickering lights, and messages from her grandmother
27:05 — The intuitive knowing before her father’s diagnosis
29:10 — Sensing the timing of his passing before medical professionals did
31:25 — Dreams, grief, and learning to trust inner knowingLinks & Resources:
Aycee Brown on Instagram for the Mercury intuition post that inspired this episode Explore Caitlan’s work + current offerings at Caitlan SiegenthalerBook your Power MoveSubscribe to Return+ for bonus episodes, essays, and deeper conversationsSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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In this special crossover episode between the Return Podcast and Self Trust Podcast, Caitlan sits down with Emily Romero for a deeply honest, behind-the-scenes conversation about what it actually takes to do “the thing” that’s been calling you.
Together, they explore the messy middle between knowing and doing, the role of self-trust, and what it looks like to build a business (and life) that actually reflects who you are. Plus, Caitlan gives a live, on-the-spot demo for Emily, offering a real-time glimpse into what it’s like to work inside Power Move.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why knowing yourself isn’t enough and what actually creates momentum How Human Design and Internal Family Systems work together in business decisions Why “doing the thing” rarely looks clean, linear, or logical How to navigate fear, doubt, and resistance when stepping into something new What aligned action actually looks like in real life (not just on Instagram) Why short, high-impact containers can be more effective than long-term work (depending on your design) The power of self-trust—and how it’s built over timeChapters:
00:00 – Welcome + crossover episode intro
02:00 – What “Return” and “Self Trust” are really about
04:00 – Human Design in action (Manifestor + Projector dynamics)
06:30 – Inside Caitlan’s Power Move intensive
11:00 – Why traditional business advice didn’t work
15:30 – The 2am “download” that changed everything
18:30 – Self-trust, fear, and doing the thing anyway
24:00 – From therapist to entrepreneur: rewriting the model
31:00 – Behind the scenes of Power Move (live coaching begins)
40:00 – Manifestor energy + working in spurts
45:00 – Incarnation cross + revealing what’s not working
52:00 – Selling, messaging, and “markets” in Human Design
57:00 – The truth about community (and what it actually means)
01:01:00 – Short-term depth vs. long-term work
01:05:00 – Final reflections + how to work togetherLinks & Resources:
Learn more about Caitlan’s Power Move intensive Learn more about Emily's Luxury Immersions Episode mentioned: Luxury Immersions (Episode 87 – Self Trust Podcast) Episode mentioned: Power Move (Episode 106 – Return Podcast) Connect with Emily Romero Connect with Caitlan SiegenthalerSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode: 108: The IFS Controversy: “The Therapy That Can Break You”… or Heal You?
In this episode, Caitlan unpacks the recent wave of criticism surrounding Internal Family Systems (IFS) from viral think pieces to questions about its safety and scientific validity.
As both a therapist and practitioner, she offers a grounded, nuanced perspective on what these critiques are really pointing to.....and what they’re missing.
This conversation isn’t just about IFS. It’s about the bigger pattern we see everywhere: pedestal → backlash → confusion. And most importantly, how to navigate your own healing without outsourcing your authority to any modality, practitioner, or trend.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why blaming a therapy modality often misses the real issue The difference between a good modality and a skilled facilitator How harmful therapy experiences can happen—even with “proven” methods Why IFS is being targeted right now (hint: popularity invites backlash) The truth about “evidence-based” therapy—and why it matters (and doesn’t) What to actually look for when choosing a therapist How to stop pedestal-ing tools, frameworks, and peopleKey Takeaways:
No modality is universally good or bad. The impact depends on the practitioner. Bad therapy ≠ bad method. It often reflects lack of skill, training, or ethical grounding. Popularity breeds criticism. The rise of IFS makes it a target for contrarian takes. Evidence matters—but lived experience matters too. Both can coexist. You are the authority. If something helps you, it matters. If it harms you, stop. The real work is discernment. Not devotion.Chapters:
02:00 – The rise (and fall) of pedestal culture
04:00 – The IFS “hit pieces” explained
06:30 – Is IFS actually harmful?
08:00 – A personal story: when therapy does harm
11:00 – Why the therapist matters more than the modality
13:00 – Are these articles just for clicks?
14:30 – The truth about “evidence-based” therapy
19:00 – Is IFS a cult? Dr. Richard Schwartz responds
21:00 – Final thoughts: discernment over dogmaLinks & Resources:
Articles referenced (The Cut + Vox) Lissa Rankin’s article on IFS + cult dynamicsWork with Caitlan:
⚡ Next Level Decisions (free private audio course) ⚡ Power Move (1:1 HD + IFS business intensive)Connect:
WebsiteIGSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 107: AI, Mental Health & Why “Support” Isn’t Always Support
In this episode, Caitlan dives into one of the most relevant (and controversial) topics right now: AI and mental health.
As both a licensed therapist and business mentor, she breaks down the real role AI is starting to play in how we seek support, process emotions, and make decisions and where it can quietly start doing more harm than good.
From accessibility and late-night spirals to AI psychosis and the erosion of self-trust, this episode explores the nuance behind using tools like ChatGPT for emotional support and where to draw the line.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
The real benefits of AI for emotional support (and why accessibility matters) Why AI acts as a “yes machine” and how that impacts your growth The critical role of co-regulation—and why AI can’t provide it What AI misses about your body, nervous system, and unspoken cues The rise of AI psychosis and why it’s becoming a clinical concern How over-reliance on AI erodes self-trust and decision-making Practical guidelines for when to use AI—and when to absolutely notChapters:
00:00 — Welcome back + gratitude + human connection moment
02:00 — The good: accessibility, availability & why AI feels supportive
05:30 — The bad: the “yes machine” problem + lack of challenge
08:30 — What AI can’t do: co-regulation, body awareness & missing cues
12:00 — The ugly: AI psychosis, delusion reinforcement & real risks
15:00 — How to use AI safely (and when not to use it)
17:30 — Building self-trust + better alternatives to AI supportLinks & Resources:
🎧 Next Level Decisions (Free Private Audio Course) — Learn how to trust your decisions using IFS + Human Design 🌐 Caitlan’s Website: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/
📩 DM or email Caitlan with your thoughts on AI + mental health ✨ Upcoming retreat details coming soonSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Ep 106: If I had one week to fix your business... I would do this...
In this solo episode of Return, Caitlan shares a quick personal update with the community and then dives into a question she’s been thinking about a lot lately:
If I had one week to change your business… what would we actually do?
So many entrepreneurs stay stuck circling decisions — tweaking offers, listening to podcasts, redesigning websites, or waiting to “feel ready.” Meanwhile, the thing that would actually move their business forward is usually one clear decision and the support to follow through on it.
In this episode, Caitlan shares the thinking behind her newest offering, Power Move — a one-week intensive designed to help founders stop drifting and finally execute the move they’ve been sitting on.
You’ll hear how Human Design, strategic clarity, and parts work come together inside the container — and why sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your business is decide.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:The difference between business drifting and making a decisive moveWhy talented entrepreneurs stay stuck circling ideas instead of executing themHow Human Design can guide business decisions instead of copying other people’s strategiesThe role fear and internal “parts” play in holding entrepreneurs backHow a short, focused container can create more momentum than months of thinking about somethingChapters:00:00 A personal update from Caitlan about an upcoming pause from the podcast
Links & Resources
03:00 The problem of “drifting” in business
06:40 What a real Power Move looks like
09:30 The structure of the one-week Power Move intensive
15:30 Why Caitlan created this containerLearn more about Power Move
https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermoveConnect with Caitlan
https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 105: 3 YEARS of RETURN!
Book your Power Move Session Here
In this celebratory birthday episode, Caitlan marks three years of the Return podcast with a playful, behind-the-scenes conversation that feels more like a dinner party than a structured lesson. She shares what she’s loving lately, what life has been teaching her, and exciting updates unfolding inside her business and creative world. This episode is a mix of personal reflections, intuitive insights, and honest truths about following your soul’s call — even when you've got terrified parts.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Why following your intuitive “whispers” often requires courage before clarityHow structure and freedom can coexist in your life and financesThe difference between information and embodiment in personal growthWhy deep work needs containers, boundaries, and intentionWhat Caitlan is currently loving, reading, and experimenting with creativelyHow honoring your design can reshape the way you build your businessChapters
00:00 Birthday intro + toddler serenade02:00 What Caitlan’s loving lately (books, practices, inspiration)08:30 The “group chat” life updates + intuitive experiences12:00 Lessons life has been teaching her recently16:30 Money, structure, and freedom balance18:20 Backstage updates + new offer announcementLinks & Resources:
📚 Books mentionedHow to Meet and Work with Spirit GuidesEssentialismAncestral Medicine🌄 Upcoming retreat in Colorado--stay tuned! 💼 New Offer: Power Move — 1-Week Human Design IntensiveSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Ep 104: The Shadow Side of Your Human Design: Part 3 in the Inner Infrastructure for Founders Series
To listen to the full episode, become a Return+ subscriber & get the full episode here.
In this Return+ exclusive episode, Caitlan continues the Inner Infrastructure Series for Founders with a deep dive into the shadow side of Human Design—and why your energy type is the most powerful place to begin inner work.
Human Design is often taught as a permission slip. And while permission matters, this episode goes further. Here, Human Design is explored as a practice, not a personality. This episode reveals where your gifts have become protection, where conditioning lives, and where growth is quietly asking for your attention.
This conversation looks at shadow not as something “bad” or broken, but as an unintegrated expression of a gift, often formed under pressure or in the name of safety. Caitlan walks through the shadow expressions of each energy type and how they commonly show up in business, leadership, and decision-making, then offers a grounded framework for integration that doesn’t rely on bypassing, optimizing, or performing your design.
This is a dense, reflective episode & you may want to listen to in parts, with a notebook nearby.
Why self-knowledge is the foundation your business actually runs onWhat “shadow” means in Human Design and inner workWhy energy type reveals survival patterns more clearly than strategyShadow expressions of each Human Design energy typeHow shadow shows up specifically in business and leadershipWhen Human Design becomes a form of spiritual bypass
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
02:00 – Inner Infrastructure: why self-knowledge is business infrastructure04:30 – Shadow vs. burden: reframing “what needs work”07:05 – Why energy type is the right place to start inner work08:45 – Projector shadow expressions13:45 – Generator & Manifesting Generator shadows18:45 – Manifestor shadow expressions23:45 – Reflector shadow expressions27:30 – How shadow shows up in business + leadership30:40 – Integration: presence over protection31:55 – Reflection questions for embodiment
Chapters:
Episodes 1 & 2 in the Inner Infrastructure for Founders SeriesJoin Return+ for private podcast episodes, essays, prompts & member eventsReturn+ Intention Setting Event – February 17Human Design Integration Intensives Book mentioned: No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
Links & Resources:Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Part 2 in the Series of Inner Infrastructure for Founders
Is it a strategy problem or a mindset problem? This is the episode to help you find out...
In this episode, Caitlan explores how our parts (fear parts, belonging parts, worth parts, inner critics, hustlers, avoiders) can unknowingly take the CEO seat and start making decisions on our behalf. Not because you’re broken. Not because you’re “self-sabotaging.” But because unmet needs don’t disappear in adulthood… they just get more strategic.
You’ll learn how to tell when a part is running the show, how unmet needs shape business behaviors (like over-posting, undercharging, freezing, over-planning), and you’ll be guided through Caitlan’s signature exercise: Business Parts Mapping which is a practical, embodied way to untangle inner conflict and come back to Self-led leadership.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The clearest signs a part (not Self) is running your business decisionsThe difference between a true business problem (skills/strategy) vs a nervous system/parts problem (you “know” what to do but can’t do it)Common “flavors” of business parts: fear parts, validation parts, visibility parts, inner critics, hustlers, procrastinators, caretakers, and moreHow unmet needs show up as business behaviors (and why it makes total sense)Why “heal this part and money will flow” is not only unhelpful, but can collapse trustA step-by-step Business Parts Mapping process you can do todayHow to reassign parts into healthier roles (inner critic → discernment editor, hustler → short-burst activator, avoider → misalignment signal)Chapters:
00:00 Who’s really running your business? Introducing business parts & unmet needs01:10 Naming the heaviness of the moment + grounding into humanity04:53 How to tell when a part (not Self) is making business decisions10:52 Unmet needs and how they show up as overworking, freezing, people-pleasing, or avoiding18:15 Business Parts Mapping: a step-by-step embodiment exercise29:14 How to move forward Self-led + invitations to go deeperLinks & Resources:
Join Return+ (For community, extra podcast episodes, teachings & much more) Next Level Decisions (free private podcast/ audio course) Book your Human Design sessions + integration support with CaitlanMoney Parts episode with Rick KahlerPart 1 of Being Seen SeriesSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Knowledge vs. Embodiment: Why Knowing Yourself Is Your Greatest Business Asset in the Inner Infrastructure for Founders — Part 1
If you’ve consumed a lot of personal development, strategy, or self-awareness content — and still find yourself stuck, spiraling, or unable to follow through — this episode is for you.
This is the first episode in a four-part series on Inner Infrastructure for Founders, where we explore why knowing yourself isn’t just nice — it’s foundational to sustainable growth.
In this episode, Caitlan breaks down the difference between knowledge and embodiment, why insight alone isn’t enough, and how founders get stuck over-intellectualizing instead of integrating. We explore Human Design, parts work, nervous system capacity, and why most people opt out right when the work actually starts.
This episode lays the groundwork for the entire series.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The real difference between knowledge and embodimentWhy self-awareness without integration becomes “empty calories”How founders use strategy to override discomfortWhy you can’t scale faster than your nervous system can holdHow embodiment shows up in real life (decision-making, boundaries, visibility)Why acceptance > optimization in this season of businessThe questions that reveal where your system is actually asking for supportChapters
00:01 – Knowledge vs. embodiment & the Inner Infrastructure series02:20 – Why self-awareness is uncomfortable (and avoided)05:30 – Patterns, courage, and slowing down enough to notice08:20 – Knowledge vs. internet noise11:00 – Acceptance > optimization14:00 – Why most people opt out of deep self-knowledge15:10 – Human Design as information vs lived integration17:00 – What embodiment actually looks like in business19:00 – Strategy, parts, and nervous system capacity23:00 – Selling, parts work, and the Girl Scout cookie story27:00 – Reflection + self-assessment30:40 – What’s coming next in the seriesLinks & Resources Mentioned:
Next Level Decisions (Free Training):
A Human Design + Parts-informed decision-making tool: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/next-level-decisions
Return+ (Paid Subscription):
Behind-the-scenes episodes, integration content, and live calls. Join here
Human Design Integration Intensives:
1:1 support to move from knowing → operating: Book hereEpisode: Reading Dr. Richard Schwartz (Founder of IFS): Listen here
Recent Episode with Rick Kahler: Listen hereSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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What happens when a financial guy meets Internal Family Systems… and ends up sobbing in an IFS demo at Esalen? 😅
In this episode, I’m joined by Rick Kahler—financial planner + financial therapist who helped me (yes, as his willing guinea pig) meet my money parts, stop letting panic run the spreadsheet, and make more Self-led financial decisions.We also talk about how entrepreneurs can stop letting the visionary run the company alone while the “controller” is duct-taped in the basement.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
How Rick stumbled into IFS (and immediately got humbled by the Ace of Spades demo)Why financial decisions are emotional decisions—and how IFS helpsWhat “Self-led finances” actually feels like (with the eight C’s)How to work with money scripts without shaming yourselfThe entrepreneur trap: visionary on top, controller exiledWhy resilience matters more than perfection (and why “fatal mistakes” aren’t always fatal)How Rick navigated selling a controlling interest in his company—and the grief of letting goWhere to start if you want to meet your money parts (without spiraling)Chapters
02:00 Rick’s IFS origin story (Esalen, “Schwartz guy,” and the demo that changed everything)06:50 Why Rick didn’t initially see himself as a financial therapist11:00 “Fraud” parts—yes, even for successful people17:00 The lightbulb: IFS + financial therapy (and the guinea pig era)20:40 What financial transformation can look like (spreadsheets, giving parts, saving parts)25:45 Financial uncertainty in the collective + working with fear from the outside-in36:00 Entrepreneurs: visionaries, controllers, and the E-Myth reality check41:15 Resilience, mistakes, and staring bankruptcy in the face44:35 Selling the business + getting unstuck at the “next level”57:45 Where to start with money parts01:03:00 Lightning round: Rick’s Self-energy song01:07:00 How to work with Rick + resourcesLinks & Resources
Rick’s financial therapy practice: Advanced Wellbeing
Advanced Wellbeing Financial TherapyRick’s blog / “Financial Awakenings”
Kahler FinancialRick’s podcast: The Financial Therapy Podcast: It’s Not Just About the Money
Financial Therapy PodcastCaitlan's websiteJoin Undefined, we start January 21st: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/undefined
If this episode made you feel 1% more seen (or 1% more willing to open the spreadsheet without sweating), please follow/subscribe, and leave a review—it helps more Returners find the show.
And if you send this to a friend, I won’t stop you. 😉Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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EPISODE 100: "This was the year of realizing that being seen isn’t about doing more—it’s about feeling safe enough to stop abandoning yourself." -Caitlan
✨ JOIN UNDEFINED: Undefined is where Projectors, Manifestors & Reflectors finally build a business around their energy – and succeed because of it.
$200 OFF Expires 12/21---->>sign up here to get the codeIn this milestone episode, Caitlan Siegenthaler reflects on what the last 100 conversations have actually been about: self-permission over self-improvement, nervous-system-led visibility, and the quiet work of becoming yourself without self-abandonment.
If you’ve been trying to fix yourself to be seen, this episode is your invitation to stop.
What You'll Learn:
Why IFS and Human Design aren’t self-improvement toolsWhat visibility looks like when your nervous system feels safeWhy beginnings are about becoming, not doingHow intuitive leadership actually formsWhat legacy really is (and what it isn’t)10 Lessons from This Year’s Top 10 Episodes:
Reiki & IFS with Elizabeth Scott Nodes & Past Lives with Sarah TemelReturn+: The Human Design of Being Seen Return+: BTS of the Reading with Dr. Richard SchwartzReturn+: Evolving Beyond the Therapist IdentityThe Legacy of Being Seen with Mao BeckettNotes on Being Seen: What Visibility Really MeansDitch SMART Goals: The Intuitive Way to Reach Your GoalsI Had to Be Quiet to Stay Safe with Jalon JohnsonInternal Family Systems & Human Design: The Ultimate Power Duo
Listen to Episode 99 of Return here
Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 99: Reflection, Reclamation & The Threshold of the Year of the Snake
It’s the 99th episode of Return (!!!) and in perfect alignment, we’re closing out our nine year cycle just as we step into a new one. In this reflective, ritual-like conversation, Caitlan unpacks the numerology of a nine year — the year of completion, shedding, composting, and clearing — and reflects on what she’s learned, who she became, and what she’s consciously leaving behind.
Inside, she shares her own roses + thorns in business and motherhood, how IFS + Human Design supported her through a year of deep transition, and invitations for you to reflect on your own nine-year cycle with journal prompts, parts work, and Human Design exploration.
If you’re craving closure, clarity, or a gentle remembrance of who you became this year, let this episode guide you back to yourself.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
What a 9 year means in numerology + why 2025 felt so intenseReflection prompts to meet the version of you this year shapedHow Caitlan used Human Design (4/6 profile) to build authentic connectionThe part she reclaimed through IFS — angerWhat she’s leaving behind, what she’s taking into the 1 yearRoses + thorns from both business + motherhoodWhy Episode 99 marks a threshold into visibility, magnetism, and creative fire 🔥Timestamps:
02:00 — 05:30 | What a nine year is & why 2025 carried shedding energy
06:00 — 09:45 | Reflection + journaling prompts for the nine year
10:00 — 13:00 | Caitlan’s IFS revelation — working with anger & unburdening
13:10 — 15:00 | Human Design experiments + being a 4/6 connector
15:10 — 17:40 | What she’s leaving behind + tarot messages
17:45 — 19:45 | What she’s bringing into 2026 — Queen of Wands energy
19:50 — 25:30 | Roses + thorns: business, motherhood, expansion
25:30 — 28:00 | Gratitude, becoming, completion + Episode 100 previewLinks & Resources:
Try Return+ free for 7 days to access the full Return to Self SyllabusJoin Undefined (starts January 20, 2026) — Projectors, Manifestors & ReflectorsBook a Shifted Session (HD Reading + Integration)Last Year's Year in Review Podcast EpisodeThank you for 99 weeks of returning together — for listening, sharing, and witnessing this work as part of your own self-expression. Next week’s episode marks 100, the final of the year, a moment of pause, and a doorway into what comes next.
Come reflect, release, and rise with me.
See you there. ✨Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Episode 98: Elemental Design, Mental Inflammation & Returning to Your Rhythm – with Dr. Shivani Gupta
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Shivani Gupta—Ayurvedic practitioner, turmeric researcher, founder of Fusionary Formulas, and host of Fusionary Health. We talk about her early health wake-up call, how she discovered Ayurveda, and why understanding your elemental design (Vata, Pitta, Kapha) can change everything about how you approach your body and energy.
We also dive into her concept of mental inflammation—how modern stress quietly inflames the body—and simple, accessible daily rituals that help you reset, cool inflammation, and return to yourself.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What Ayurveda is and how elemental design (Vata, Pitta, Kapha) shapes your body and energy.How mental inflammation from stress becomes physical symptoms.Why the 10pm–2am sleep window is crucial for detox, hormones, and inflammation.Simple Ayurvedic practices you can start today (tea rituals, circadian walks, grounding foods).How turmeric and other super spices support gut health and chronic inflammation.Key Takeaways:
Inflammation is inevitable, not a personal flaw—modern life is inherently inflammatory.Stress hygiene matters; mental inflammation often drives physical symptoms.Knowing your elemental design helps you choose routines that align with your natural rhythm.Sleep is foundational—that 10pm–2am window is your body’s prime detox time.Tiny rituals—like “tea time is me time”—create space for intuition and regulation.Chapters:
00:01 – Welcome & setting the stage01:09 – Shivani’s wake-up call & shifting to Ayurveda04:01 – Discovering elemental design07:25 – What Ayurveda actually is09:52 – Mental inflammation explained15:00 – Nervous system anchors: tea time & micro-pauses19:34 – The inflammation forest fire24:47 – Vata, Pitta, Kapha: a deep, accessible breakdown32:00 – How to find your constitution36:09 – A Pitta’s daily rhythm: sleep, food, and movement41:51 – Nature’s medicine > gadgets44:55 – What she’d tell her younger self about healing46:46 – Her returning ritual: tea time is me time48:25 – Super spices, turmeric, and her research52:34 – Where to find Shivani & her upcoming Hay House bookLinks & Resources:
Connect with Dr. Shivani Gupta:
Supplements: Fusionary Formulas — Use code RETURN for 15% offInstagram: @doctor.shivaniguptaBook: : www.theinflammationcode.comExplore More from Caitlan:
Website: caitlansiegenthaler.comWork with me through Human Design, IFS & Return offeringsSupport the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
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Return+ Evolving Beyond the Therapist Identity
Episode 97: The Journey of Transformation and Growth
In this Return+ episode, Caitlan Siegenthaler takes you inside the quiet, sacred, and often uncomfortable process of identity evolution. She shares how becoming a mother cracked open her sense of self, how the traditional therapist role began to feel too small, and how Human Design and Internal Family Systems became her compass for integrating truth, intuition, and authenticity.
Through personal stories and energetic insights, Caitlan explores the tension between who we were trained to be and who we are becoming, the whispers that guide us, and the deep desire to return to the most honest version of ourselves. This conversation is an invitation to step out of the boxes that no longer fit and trust the transformation that’s already unfolding within you.
TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE, SIGN UP FOR RETURN+ HERE
Projectors/ Reflectors/ Manifestors: Sign up for the Undefined Waitlist Here.
Doors Open January 13th, We Start January 20th!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Why evolving beyond your professional identity is both common and courageousHow authenticity often clashes with expectations placed on therapists and helpersWhat postpartum intuition can reveal about purpose and directionHow Human Design and IFS together support identity integrationWhy listening to your inner whispers matters more than external validationHow to navigate fear of judgment during big transitionsWhy creativity and intuition are essential parts of the therapeutic processHow community makes identity transformation less isolatingLinks & Resources
Learn more about Caitlan’s offerings: www.caitlansiegenthaler.comJoin Return+: deeper personal reflections, energetic tools & communityIf you loved this episode, don’t forget to subscribe to Return+, leave a review, and share this conversation with someone on their own path of becoming
Support the show
Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara OparaIf you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.
- Visa fler
