Avsnitt
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Episode 487 â How Would You Walk?
Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.
Letâs talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. Weâve got some incredible trips in the works. Weâre going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, weâre going back to Peru in October 2025 where weâre going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again.
Athletic Greens
[02:42] Thoughts from Paul:
The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is âno level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.â There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture.
The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldnât find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like âstudies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevityâ. Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us.
Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit.
[09:18] Paul introduces Sarah:
Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isnât running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking.
Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesnât recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didnât drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone elseâs, but didnât identify it as a problem.
When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working.
After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasnât able to quit.
In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again.
Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the CafĂŠ RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him.
After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead.
Sarahâs best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son
Sarahâs parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting.
[41:14] Outro:
Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves.
How would you walk ifâŚâŚ.?
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Go big, because eventually weâll all go home.
I love you guys.
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Episode 486 - The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet
Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022.
Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers to this southeast Asia destination. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus youâll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[03:00] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, itâs always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more.
Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.
Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego.
Sober Link. Sign up for a $50 off promo code.
[10:22] Kris introduces Adam:
Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken.
Alcohol was not very present in Adamâs childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years.
Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home.
Adam says drinking was part of he and his wifeâs early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didnât feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adamâs drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships.
Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined CafĂŠ RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy.
Adamâs biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun
Adamâs plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed
Adamâs parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction itâs supposed to move.
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It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Episode 485 â The Social Cost of Alcohol
Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024.
Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[02:09] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US.
The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you.
Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list âNatureâ as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer:
Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball â anything active with friends.
Jennifer says that as the âgood girlâ growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university.
While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jenniferâs mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank.
After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined CafĂŠ RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby.
After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand.
In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time.
Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jenniferâs recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now
Jenniferâs best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present.
Jennniferâs parting piece of guidance: Donât be afraid to ask for help.
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It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
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Episode 484 â Recovery is a Sandwich
Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023.
Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and weâve got room for 25 passengers. Whoâs up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze?
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[02:24] Thoughts from Kris:
Krisâ topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator.
Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey.
This isnât a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in othersâ, helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others.
Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you? Email [email protected] to share your thoughts.
Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery
[10:48] Kris introduces Brian:
Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety!
He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading.
Brian grew up on a farm and recalls it was common for people to have drinks after a long day of work. He says he and his friends would sneak beer out of curiosity. When he was in his teens, he and his friends would drive around the gravel roads with a cooler of beer. After graduating high school, Brian joined the military, which was a tradition in his family. He was enlisted for two years and lived the âwork hard, play hardâ life that is common in that environment.
Shortly after discharge from the Army, Brian got a DUI. He did not feel this was a red flag to stop drinking, just needed to pay the fine and move on. After graduating college, he got his first job in management and married his first wife. They bought land and started a family together. Brian says drinking was mostly social on the weekends and at the local tavern after work.
Brian and his wife got a divorce after 15 years married. Soon after, Brian began suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. He tried medication and meditation to deal with it, but it was still intense.
A few years later, Brian started dating his current wife. They were very social and frequently drank, but she was not a heavy drinker. Brian began to find himself waking up with anxiety and would often change his work hours to accommodate his drinking or recovery from the night before.
In December of 2020 Brian discovered his sister had recently become sober. He feels this really led him to examine his drinking. Upon arriving home from that visit, he started reading a lot and listening to podcasts. He began attending more group chats with CafĂŠ RE and connecting with other folks in recovery. Brian says his sister taught him a lot of mindfulness exercises which he has found very helpful.
Brianâs parting piece of guidance for those considering sobriety: just dig in and try it.
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I love you guys.
Go big because eventually weâll all go home.
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Episode 483 â NA Beers
Today we have Tyler. He is 37 and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on November 28th, 2023.
Recovery Elevator welcomes Danielle Marr to the team! She now writes the bi-monthly newsletter for RE which always has journalling prompts at the end. She taught our DTB writing course this last fall and does Instagram posts a couple days a week. She was also interviewed on episode 464.
To subscribe to the Recovery Elevator newsletter, click here and wait for the box to pop up.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[03:35] Thoughts from Paul
Paul shares with us the history of NA beers and how they were created to pacify the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers campaign back in the 90âs. The companies had zero intention of scaling this segment of their business and it has been said that the purposefully made the beer tasteless and bland.
Those days are gone. Non-alcoholic beer sales have been growing every year by 30-40% since 2019. Many of the major beer brands are investing time and money into creating their own NA products and there are more breweries popping up that are 100% dedicated to making an AF craft beer.
There is no need to explore the NA beer world in the early days of your alcohol-free life because it can be triggering. There is trace amount of alcohol in many of the NA beers (usually less than 0.5%) and you would have to drink 25-30 of them to reach the legal BAC. Check out this Instagram post where someone drinks several NA beers and stills blows zeros into a breathalyzer.
What the AF beer world exploding shows is that people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not good for you and big alcohol sales are reflecting that. The stigma around alcohol addiction is also crumbling. We as consumers decide every move a business makes â start asking for more AF options at restaurants and grocery stores. Start asking and you will receive.
Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.
[09:58] Paul introduces Tyler:
Tyler is 37 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ and has a six-month-old daughter. He does maintenance for a homeowners association. Tyler is also a musician and enjoys performing, writing, and recording music.
Tyler had his first drink when he was in high school as simply a fun thing to do with friends. A health scare which ended up with tumor removal drove Tyler to feel he needed to live life to the fullest. He says his drinking increased as it was associated with having fun, and he discovered his passion for being a musician. That found him romanticizing alcohol, drinking more after gigs, and acquiring DUIs. Since a lot of people he knew had DUIs, it was considered normal and wasnât taking seriously.
When he lost a close family member to cancer, Tyler says his drinking evolved from good and bad to ugly. He and his girlfriend went out often, and his drinking became more frequent both while out and while at home. Tyler had a lot of anger that would come out while drinking. These issues eventually found Tyler and his girlfriend splitting up.
Tyler started going to therapy and discovered that the loss of his aunt affected him more than he realized. He was able to process some of his anger and cut back on his drinking. He and his girlfriend got back together and six months ago their daughter was born. Tyler began to realize that his drinking was interfering with this new life and told his girlfriend he was ready to quit. At this time, he also reached out to a supportive cousin that has over 20 years in recovery.
Tyler says AA didnât resonate with him, but books, podcasts and other peoplesâ stories have been very helpful. He believes in recovering out loud.
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I love you guys.
Go big because eventually weâll all go home.
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Episode 482 - Anna
Today we have Anna. She is 49 from North Georgia and took her last drink on December 22nd, 2017.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[02:09] Thoughts from Paul:
A few weeks ago, Paul made a post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram pages asking people what advice they would give to somebody who was about to quit drinking.
Thank you to everyone that commented on the video, there were well over 100 comments.
In this episode, he shares some of the comments and be sure to follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram if you donât already.
The most common advice was donât do this alone, reach out for help, and join a community.
We have partnered with Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.
[11:16] Kris introduces Anna:
Anna lives in North Georgia and is a custodian at a middle school. For fun she enjoys hiking, camping and all things outdoors.
Anna first started drinking when she was 18 in college. Prior to that she was focused on being a runner and it was when an injury made her stop that she traded her running addiction for alcohol. She says that she was a blackout drinker from the beginning.
When asked by her now ex-husband why she drank Anna said it was because she wanted to. She believed it was a privilege to drink as long as she was keeping up with her responsibilities. At the time she didnât believe that it wasnât normal to be throwing up in the bathroom every day. She considered drinks as a reward for getting things done.
Anna got a DUI and was required to attend a recovery center. That put her back in contact with other people and she realized that she missed being social and doing things with other people. Her last day of drinking was when she went Christmas shopping and told herself that she wasnât going to drink, but she did. The next morning, her kids told her they werenât able to wake her up the night before. Thatâs when Anna realized she had lost the privilege and the desire to drink was gone.
About three weeks after that, she started attending AA and a group called FAVOR which had a kickball team. She enjoyed being able to do things with other people who didnât drink. One of the reasons she was hesitant to quit drinking before was because she felt alcohol was involved in everything social.
Anna says that the 12 steps are a lifestyle for her. She enjoys the structure and routine of AA. After a few months, she got a sponsor and began to work the steps. Anna says that she enjoys being open minded about recovery and participating in things that are not AA. The first 90 days in recovery, Anna says she was very go with the flow. She feels she learned all she could from alcohol and was ready to learn the joy of recovery and getting to meet new people and learn new things again.
In sobriety, Anna enjoys traveling and meeting new people. She feels that life is meant to be experienced and she knows she has to take chances and meet new people. Anna feels she always has a group everywhere she goes. Sobriety gave Anna her confidence back and a sense of purpose. She feels that life challenges havenât been nearly as hard since she is sober.
Annaâs favorite resource in recovery: âCafĂŠ RE or AA, whatever I can get my hands on first if itâs just picking up and scrolling through Facebook or YouTube with listening to speakers.â
Annaâs parting piece of guidance: keep things simple, donât compare yourself to other people, remember you cannot get drunk if you donât pick up the first drink.
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Weâre the only ones that can do this RE, but we donât have to do it alone.
I love you guys.
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Episode 481 - Collective Truths
Today we have Susie. She is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX and took her last drink on February 10th, 2024.
Our alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman, MT on August 14th â 18th is currently sold out. But if you are interested in being put on the wait list, please email [email protected]
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[02:18] Thoughts from Paul:
Paulâs goal with the introductions each week is to find a topic that we can collectively resonate with. His goal is for as many of us as possible to say âyepâ or to nod our heads while listening.
There are many different types of listeners to the podcast. Some had already ditched the booze, some long ago and some more recently. Another group is still in the process of quitting drinking. We also have another group of listeners who are here to support a loved one who is struggling with alcohol. We are so glad you are here with us.
Paul lists the many reasons why people listen and what they are looking for by doing so. Ultimately, we are all here to grow.
Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.
[09:58] Paul introduces Susie:
Susie is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX with her husband of two years. She has been a hairstylist for many years and considers it her passion. Susie enjoys reading, exercise, enjoying the outdoors and attending sporting events.
Susie first experimented with alcohol when she was in high school and didnât care for it. There was very little drinking for Susie throughout college and her 20âs. In Susieâs 30âs, her husband and she began to drink socially on the weekends but his drinking increasingly got worse and eventually the divorced due to his anger issues and alcohol abuse.
For a long time, Susie didnât use alcohol as a coping mechanism but had other issues that she feels were attempts to avoid her feelings such as an eating disorder and excessive exercise. Susie reflects that she didnât really have an off switch when she drank for events, but typically wouldnât drink for a while afterwards.
Shortly after marrying her current husband, some issues started to arise in their relationship and Susie found herself beginning to use alcohol to cope. She says it wasnât much of an issue until she began to try and hide how much she was drinking. It started to create issues in her marriage and Susie would find her husband leaving her a few times, which created feelings of abandonment and rejection.
After an event that led to Susie being hospitalized, she attended an IOP but left and continued drinking. Her husband asked her to go to inpatient rehab, so she did, but she continued to drink afterwards and ended up taking another trip to rehab a few months later. Her husband eventually ended up leaving, which was very eye-opening for Susie. She started attending a womenâs AA group which she enjoyed and learned a lot from.
Going forward Susie plans to continue attending AA meetings when she can, and she just joined CafĂŠ RE where she plans to be an active participant. She and her husband are separated now but are attending counseling and Susie feels hopeful about their future. Susie surrounds herself with positive people at work and has friends from rehab that she checks in with frequently.
Things Susie has learned about herself on this journey: self-acceptance; loving yourself. No matter where you are, youâre okay just the way you are.
Susieâs best sober moment: spending time with her husband going to sporting events sober.
Susieâs parting piece of guidance: donât ever give up on yourself, donât isolate yourself, always surround yourself with people.
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You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up.
You can do this.
I love you guys.
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Episode 480 â AF Legends
Today we have Emily. She is 31 and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has been sober since March 17th, 2019.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[02:26] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us a list of his favorite AF (Alcohol Free) legends.
Included in the list is a man named Barry he met on the Gold Coast of Australia who taught him itâs the little things in life that create the most beautiful textures in life.
Another AF legend is Bill Wilson who together with Dr. Bob would become founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Paul also includes the 480 rock stars wo have shared their story on this podcast. Our interviewees have realized that for them to be successful, they have to help others. Thank you to all of the interviewees on the podcast.
Included in the list is Paulâs dog Ben. He taught him unconditional love.
And above all else, Paul feels the number one AF legend is the universe. It has provided everything he has needed for wholeness, happiness, and wellbeing. Even when being handed a roundhouse kick to the kidney, the universe only does so with the goal of promoting growth or to illuminate a better path.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[10:46] Kris introduces Emily:
Emily is 31 years old, and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has a Husky named Yogi and she works in water treatment. For fun she enjoys attending music festivals and concerts.
Emily says she is an adopted only child and grew up with wonderful parents that were always supportive. It was a religious household and while Emily feels she learned some great values through that, as she got older, she wanted to rebel a bit. Drinking with the older crowd was how she chose to do that and feels that she always drank to get drunk and didnât see the point of drinking otherwise.
After high school Emily would have rather gone to the military instead of going to college, which was what was expected of her. She decided to go to school and join the reserves instead. Shortly after turning 18, she got a DUI which ruined the military path for her. School became a big party for Emily, and she ended up failing out of school. Emily was watching her peers graduate, start families and begin careers and she wasnât sure what she was doing. She feels that this led to her drinking more to cope with the lost feelings she had. She would end up having two more DUIâs before she was 23.
While dealing with the consequences of these DUIâs, Emily went to rehab in Texas for 30 days. It was the first time she realized that she might have a problem but still wasnât certain. After leaving inpatient treatment she started an outpatient program and was living in a sober house. She ended up transitioning to California and was excited to have a new start. Gradually drinking started back up for Emily and she ended up moving back to North Carolina because of how expensive it was where she was living.
After serving her probation from the DUIs, Emily found herself drinking again, but says it wasnât as much as before. She was beginning to start working on her health with nutrition and exercise. Emily says that alcohol wasnât fitting into her goals, so it slowly tapered off. She had one last hangover after St Patrickâs Day and decided she no longer wanted to feel that way anymore.
While working on sobriety, Emily learned that a friend from rehab had passed, and she used it as fuel to keep going. She was looking for podcasts and found Recovery Elevator. Listening to peopleâs stories really helped her and she started participating in communities learning that she was not alone.
Emilyâs favorite resource in recovery: people
Emilyâs parting piece of guidance: Be proud of the days that you donât give up and celebrate even the small wins.
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Weâre the only ones that can do this RE, but we donât have to do it alone.
I love you guys.
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Episode 479 - Identity Shift
Today we have Destiny. She is 29 and lives in South Houston, TX. She took her last drink on December 30th, 2023.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
CafĂŠ RE just submitted its application to become a 501c3 non-profit organization. The team has been working on the application for about 8 months and we have been told, in another 4-6 months, CafĂŠ RE will become a nonprofit.
We are going to be able to take our yearly service project to the next level, in which we can receive donations, then use those funds to make this planet a better place for all. Click the link below if you would like to check out CafĂŠ RE.
CafĂŠ RE â promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.
[03:12] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us that nothing is static, and everything is constantly changing. The roles we play in life are no exception. You are always changing. There was a time when your identity was an infant, then a child. Paul shares the many identities that he has had over the years and that he no longer identifies as a drinker.
Identities of some of the largest beer brands in the history of the world are changing seemingly overnight and they are changing their identities for one reason only. That is because you are changing your identity. White Claw now has an AF option, only because enough customers have changed their identities and are beginning to ask for it and thatâs the only reason why White Claw has this option.
As your identity changes in regard to alcohol, start asking for what your identity craves. Next time you are at a restaurant, ask if they have an AF drink menu or what their options are.
It is 100% okay to change your identity to a non-drinker in a seemingly drunk world.
Athletic Greens
[09:19] Paul introduces Destiny:
Destiny is 29 years old; she is married, and they have a three-year-old son and a German Shorthaired Pointer. For work, Destiny is a nurse where she sees a lot of the damage that alcohol can cause.
Destiny began drinking in her teens and it progressed from there. She worked in the restaurant industry for almost 10 years while attending nursing school. After graduating and starting to work in the ICU, she spent a lot of her time off drinking.
She had her son in May of 2020 and suffered with some postpartum issues. Added to the already stressful ICU, the pandemic was happening, and she got married. Destiny says there was always an excuse to drink, and she often found herself the drunkest person in the room and frequently had blackouts.
Destiny would be able to quit for small stretches of time and would attempt forms of moderation. Her husband would mention that she was drinking too much, and she would deflect and shift some blame on the situations around her that she felt called for drinking.
A rock-bottom moment for Destiny was when she realized that her marriage was beginning to suffer along with all of her goals in life. She says she would have plans that she wanted to but felt like there was a wall that she kept running into. She pictures the wall as alcohol and everything else was on the other side.
Destiny has not gone to AA but says she enjoys reading books, listening to podcasts, and surrounding herself with supportive people who themselves do not drink. She has been spending a lot of time at the gym, she and her husband have started counseling, and she has be going to therapy. When the cravings hit, she plays the tape forward and recalls how things will end if she does decide to drink.
Destinyâs best sober moment: playing fetch with her dog and her young son.
Destinyâs parting piece of guidance: if youâre thinking about it, you should probably do it.
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Letâs go big because eventually weâll all go home.
-
Episode 478 â Unlocking Curiosity
Today we have Cyndi. She is 54 and lives in Denver, Colorado. She took her last drink on December 10th, 2023.
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[02:08] Thoughts from Kris:
Kris shares how recovery has ignited his curiosity. While drinking, he didnât step out of his comfort zone very much and feels he was perfection driven to offset the dumpster fire that was happening with his drinking. He didnât feel safe not being good at things, so he never tried.
Since in recovery, Kris has taken up a plethora of hobbies, most recently welding. His garage now houses evidence of his hobbies and creating new things rather than the massive amount of empties from when he isolated in there with alcohol.
Kris now embraces his curiosity and lets himself fail as he learns new things.
When asked what they like to do for fun, many interviewees respond that they are still trying to figure that out and thatâs normal as we can become immersed in the drinking life and itâs hard to find time for anything else.
What do you like to do for fun? What have you gotten back in sobriety? Or what would you like to be able to do? Whatâs holding you back? If youâre still in it, is there something that you could use as fuel or motivation?
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[8:56] Kris introduces Cyndi:
Cyndi is 54 years old and lives in Denver with her husband, cat, and dog. She has worked in the dental industry for the last 35 years and enjoys playing outside with her dog, hiking, camping, and cooking.
Cyndiâs first real exposure to alcohol was when she was 15. She was at a party where she worked and drank a lot of beer trying to keep up with everyone. Even though she was sick a few days afterwards, she was not deterred and found drinking fun.
Cyndi says she was âsuccessfulâ at drinking for many years, but around 2019 she attended IOP but says it didnât stop her. Her drinking soon created issues in the marriage, finding them separating from each other for periods of time and trying to use different tools to help Cyndi quit. After a particularly rough time, she started going to AA. She would be able to get a few months at a time and finally was able to achieve two years. Cyndiâs toxic job started taking over her life and she gradually stopped working on her sobriety which found her relapsing and starting the on again off again cycle again.
The relapse happens long before the first drink, Cyndi feels. Work started replacing meetings. Her husband was noticing that she was more tired and unhappy, and she was starting to spend more time isolating herself from him because she was drinking again. Eventually her drinking would lead to Cyndi losing her job and found her husband working on divorce papers. They ended up having a long talk about their situations and Cyndi started working hard on recovery again.
Cyndi ended up finding a much better job and she is now attending five meetings a week and has a new sponsor. This new job is much closer to where she lives and the meetings she likes to attend are on the same route as work. Cyndi has started therapy which she had never done before. Communication with her husband is better than it has ever been. Her faith is also stronger than it has ever been.
Cyndiâs plan in sobriety moving forward: to be proactive, have a check list of things that help her stay sober.
Cyndiâs parting piece of guidance: donât quit quitting. Acknowledge your problem and get help one way or the other and just keep going.
[51:44] Outro:
Kris shares a song that he came across recently: Hi Ren
Whether weâre fighting with ourselves, or others, when weâre in that dark place we canât really win. BUT we can learn. We can find a way to be healthy and bring love and light into the world.
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Weâre the only ones that can do this, but we donât have to do it alone
I love you guys.
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Episode 477 â It Can Be Done
Today we have Jim. He is 44 and lives in Silicon Valley, CA. He took his last drink on February 20th, 2024.
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[02:27] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul is coming up on ten years without a drink. He has attended many social situations without consuming any alcohol. When he told people he wasnât drinking, the question he got was âWait, youâre not drinking?â said as more of a statement of astonishment than anything. As in the impossible was happening right before their eyes and they were surprised someone could still have a good time without drinking.
A major factor of why ditching the booze can be so hard is that the thinking mind will tell you it canât be done. The biggest reason for this is that an alcohol-free life lies in the unknown. The mind and the ego crave the known.
But it can be done. If you are on day one, a series of day ones, Paul reminds us that yes, it can be done. But for how long? A morning, an afternoon? A week? A month? A year? We are only ditching the booze one day at a time. Addiction forces us to confront the thinking mind. Addiction forces us to tease out who is who in the thinking mind. It forces us to locate and meet ourselves.
Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.
[08:55] Paul introduces Jim:
Jim lives in Silicon Valley and is a software engineering manager for a large tech firm. He is 44 and happily married for 21 years with three young kids. He enjoys skiing, learning woodworking, and completing task lists.
Alcohol was a non-issue for much of Jimâs life. He tried it a few times when he was in his early teens, but he didnât enjoy it much. He didnât drink in high school or college and then drank very sporadically throughout his 20âs.
In his 30âs, the company he worked for would have gatherings at the end of the week where alcohol was provided. Jim says this was where he started enjoying drinking. Over time it progressed and there were some negative consequences for Jim at work and he started suffering with anxiety and depression. At the time, Jim felt like he was living multiple lives.
COVID era was a difficult time for Jim. He was working from home and had little to do so he found himself drinking more. When work became busy again, the distractions at home drove Jim to rent an office where he was more isolated and drinking earlier and earlier in the day.
On the way to a bible meeting one day after having a few drinks, Jim realized this wasnât a great idea and decided to check out an AA meeting instead. He says that he went to several different types of meetings over the course of the year before anything really stuck for him.
Jim feared telling his wife about his problem, but knew he had to do it. Her initial response was not believing that Jim really had an issue with alcohol but started to feel betrayed when she realized how much he was hiding from her. Jim was determined to tackle the addiction and created his own path. This includes listening to podcasts and journalling every day. He has had a series of stops and starts in his recovery but feels that was part of the learning process and utilizes past journal entries to remind him of why quitting is the best thing for him.
After a recent relapse he started to feel very hopeless and knew he couldnât continue on this path. Jim has leaned into his faith and scripture in addition to his own past journal entries to help him gain the resolve to try sobriety again. He is a member of CafĂŠ RE and has an accountability partner which has helped him a lot.
Jimâs best sober moment: when his wife told him how proud she is of how far he is come.
Jimâs parting piece of guidance: if you get stuck, itâs ok, but you just canât stay there.
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-
Episode 476 â Is Quitting Drinking Hard?
Today we have Tonya. She is 50 and lives in St Paul, MN. She took his last drink on August 21st, 2021.
Registration opens today for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info.
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[02:30] Thoughts from Paul:
Is quitting drinking hard? It can be, yes but if you have a drinking problem, quitting drinking is way easier than riding alcohol off into the sunset of self-destruction.
Here are some reasons why it can be a challenge:
1) Your body has to detoxify itself form the chemical alcohol.
2) You are going to have to learn some new routines and make new habits.
3) You need to start building friendships where alcohol isnât the foundation.
4) Accept that boredom is a normal and healthy life experience.
Here are some glorious truths about quitting drinking:
1) After 14-21 days you are going to get out of the brain fog and want more of the new âgood-feelingâ thing.
2) No more checking message to see what you said the night before, youâll remember the book you read, less sick days at work, and more money in your bank account.
3) Your dopamine system rebalances.
4) You are living life at face value and when we do that, we can start to build the life that no longer requires alcohol.
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[10:27] Kris introduces Tonya:
Tonya has been married for 21 years and they have two children who both attend the University of Minnesota. She recently left the corporate world to be an in-home professional organizer. She enjoys her work as well as cooking, tending her plants and in recovery she is always up for trying new things.
Tonya was born into a deeply religious family. They attended church daily along with going to school there. She says they were forced to pray for forgiveness everyday which left her feeling like a bad person.
Tonya didnât drink until college because she didnât want to be like her father who was an alcoholic. There was typical college-age partying, but Tonya says she always went a little further than everyone else. Some of her behavior led to losing friends and being seen as a liability on their travels. As she got older and wanted to get married and have kids, she was able to slow the drinking down a bit, but still drank heavily while out of town for work.
Having postpartum depression after her daughter was born, Tonya found she was using alcohol to cope with life. Over time her family started becoming concerned about her drinking, so she went to rehab for the first time. She didnât end up being able to quit and struggled with the AA program. She would attend rehab five more times and while she learned a lot about the psychology and science behind alcohol and addiction, she didnât actually quit.
Shortly after her 2nd DWI, Tonya lost her job for reasons that didnât include alcohol although she admits she was physically addicted and drinking on the job. Unable to find another job she ended up sinking into her drinking and says she spent a year doing nothing else. After nearly ending her life, she realized that she didnât want to do that to her daughter. She was at the end of her rope and ready to give recovery and AA another try. Tonya started going to different AA meetings and got a sponsor. She is grateful that she found community because she knows she couldnât have done it on her own.
Tonyaâs favorite resource in recovery: Everything AA app, the AA and RE communities.
Tonyaâs parting piece of guidance: Time. Things will get better in time. One day at a time. Get involved in community.
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Episode 475 â I See You Ceiba
Today we have Shari. She is 60 and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She took his last drink on December 31st, 2022.
In two weeks on April 1st, registration opens for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info.
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[02:56] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us how the idea of Sober Travel first came to him. After a trip of a lifetime that went sideways for him, he knew the only way that he could do alcohol-free travel in the future was with alcohol-free travelers.
On the most recent sober trip to Costa Rica, Paul and other members of the cohort traveled to see a Ceiba tree that is at least 350-400 years old. He shares with us the history of the Ceiba tree and what they mean to the people that live around them.
They also got to witness live sea turtles hatching and were able to release them into the surf. Quitting drinking is like the release of the sea turtle. Your new life awaits, and anything is possible.
Thank you to Sober Link and Athletic Greens for partnering with us on this event.
[09:46] Paul introduces Shari:
Shari is 60 years old and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She has been married for 34 years and has furry children rather than human children. She works in consumer-packaged goods and operations and for fun enjoys cycling, hiking, and walking.
Shari took her first drink when she was 13 and it resulted in a blackout and being extremely sick. She went through her teen years drinking whenever she had the opportunity, which was always problematic.
Shari had multiple DUIâs by the age of 24 and with her second one was forced to go to AA and take a yearlong course in alcohol education. It was then that she realized she was an alcoholic. She didnât want to go to AA but she did find some nice people there.
After a few stops and starts she was able to get and stay sober for 8 years and used hosting meetings as accountability to stay sober. Over time she started to slow down her attendance at meetings and started drinking again during a particularly stressful time in her life.
Shari was putting parameters around her drinking after she started again and was able to maintain it to a degree. She would have varying stages of abstinence, and this continued for the next 20 years. Shari says she didnât work very hard at AA during this time, and limited the connections she was making with other people.
When she moved back to Santa Barbara 10 years ago, her parents health was deteriorating. Watching her father drink problematically reminded her that she didnât want to go down that path. Shari started looking for other modalities to help her quit drinking. She started reading quit lit and joined The Tempest sobriety course with Holly Whitaker. She started listening to RE where the idea that we canât do this alone really resonated with her.
Shari loves that there are so many more options in the recovery space now. She recognizes that everything she does these days is for her recovery. Therapy, exercise, eating right, connecting with people and reading â they all feed her soul and keep her grounded. Finding community and attending more meetings with fellow travelers on the journey was initially uncomfortable for Shari. But she knew she needed to get out of the comfort zone and join the conversations.
Shariâs best sober moment: the breathwork she participated in at Bozeman last year.
Shariâs parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting and you shouldnât do it alone.
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-
Episode 474 â If Youâre Serious About Change
Today we have Nick. He is 36 years old from Grand Rapids, MI. He took his last drink on January 19th, 2021.
In two weeks on April 1st, registration opens for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info.
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[02:41] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul likes Instagram because itâs a platform for artists, for teachers, for musicians, for dancers, and more to showcase their talents.
Paul shares with us audio from a video he found while on Instagram. Hereâs the scene: Itâs a busy city street at nightfall, when a gentlemen comes to a skidding halt on his electric motorbike wearing a microwave as a helmet. When his motorbike comes to a stop, he pushes the open microwave door button, and begins to speak. Check out the video here.
If you are serious about change, there will be shitty times, but trust the process because in the long run youâre going to be a better person.
The biggest gift Paul gets while doing Recovery Elevator podcast is witnessing the change made daily. This change, added up over many days, months and even years, results in quite the transformation.
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[08:40] Kris introduces Nick:
Nick is a real estate agent in Grand Rapids, MI. He enjoys outdoor activities in his free time. He has a boyfriend and a dog that he takes everywhere with him.
Nick says he started drinking in high school when he and his friends would pillage the parentsâ liquor cabinets. He enjoyed alcohol because it freed his inhibitions. As someone who was coming to terms with being gay in a conservative city and kept it a secret for a while. The internal struggle drove Nick to enjoy checking out and alcohol was the way he chose to do that.
In his late teens, Nick started working in the food and beverage industry. He felt very welcome at the gay bars he worked in but didnât have good role models. He knew in his early twenties that his drinking needed to eventually be addressed but wasnât ready at that time. Nick says he was very functional but drank daily. He feels he was just surviving at that point in time.
Nick started thinking about quitting when he was in his early thirties. He says he was stuck there for a while trying to determine if he really had a problem. He started utilizing his ADHD medication to help him be able to drink more. The planning and rituals became exhausting. Drinking progressed beyond âonly after the responsibilities are doneâ to finding reasons to start earlier.
Nickâs first stint at sobriety was in 2018 when he joined a local IOP and AA and was able to remain sober for about four months while learning a lot about addiction. His partner at the time drank heavily and eventually Nick gave up his sobriety. His rock bottom came when he was hiking with his dog hungover and realized how miserable he was and questioned if this was how he wanted to live his life. The next day he went back to AA.
After working the steps with a sponsor, Nick felt empowered. He says he went on a quest for sobriety and tried out other modalities. When a sober travel trip to Costa Rica with RE coincided with his one-year milestone, he decided to go and feels he gained a lot from that trip.
Within the past year Nick has changed careers and feels the best he has ever felt. Going forward, he plans to keep growing in his career and nurturing his sobriety.
Nickâs favorite resource in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast
Nickâs parting piece of guidance: the harder you fight addiction, the more entangled you are so just let go.
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Episode 473 â An Easier Softer Way
Today we have Lee. He is 43 and lives in the United Kingdom. He took his last drink on August 17th, 2020.
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CafĂŠ RE is Recovery Elevatorâs alcohol-free community. We are 1,400 strong and have one goal in mind which is to leave the booze behind. We are connecting over the pain points of alcohol and collectively creating the momentum needed to find wholeness without alcohol. If you would like to join, use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
[03:41] Thoughts from Paul:
There are a million reasons why people drink. One reason is relief. Now thank you alcohol for providing myself relief when I needed it most. Then there came a time, and it wasn't overnight when the source of relief became less effective. Alcohol then provided no relief at all. Then it became a source of discomfort itself.
Now the most excruciating part of a drinking problem is when we reach for alcohol to seek harmony, but it only brings pain. Now the conscious mind knows the outcome, it knows it won't work. But in the unconscious, it is still inscribed like a commandment on a clay tablet that alcohol will deliver the goods.
So, listeners, the seed I want to plant with you today, that even though we live in a world full of messaging and imagery saying that alcohol will enhance your life, in reality, the truth is an alcohol-free life is the easier, softer way.
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[08:33] Paul introduces Lee:
Lee is from Birmingham, UK where he lives with his wife and two kids. He works for a paint manufacturer and for fun he enjoys exercise.
Leeâs first taste of alcohol was when he was 8 and he thought it was terrible. Around age 14 he attended a party where there was alcohol, and he enjoyed the buzz he got from drinking until the next morning when he felt hungover. It was a few years later before he started drinking regularly. Lee utilized alcohol to combat insecurities and be more social.
People told Lee that after he was married and had kids that he would settle down, but Lee says his drinking got worse. He says he selfishly thought about how he could go home and drink in the house alone while his wife may be staying overnight after the birth of their second child. Even after wrecking his car while drunk, Lee did not see that he had a problem. Instead of going to the hospital, he left for the shop to get more alcohol.
The drinking started putting a strain on his relationship with his wife. The cycle of arguments and Lee leaving the home for a few days only to return asking for forgiveness went on for about six months. After a particularly bad event where Lee couldnât remember the events of the days he was gone from home, he had an anxiety attack. Lee finally admitted to himself that he had a problem and reached out to AA.
Lee started attending AA meetings via Zoom and was still drinking and just listening. He started to see what everyone had, and they seemed happy. At that point he decided to give quitting a try.
Lee says the first few months were horrific. He couldnât concentrate and was very irritable. He kept going to meetings and listening to everyone tell him it was going to get better but struggled to see it. The next several months found him sleeping better and feeling 95-96% less anxiety. After 18 months to 2 years, he has been able to forgive himself for things I did when he was drinking. He feels he is no longer to try being sober, instead he is living a sober life.
Leeâs best sober moment: getting his family back and being more present with them.
Leeâs parting piece of guidance: take it one day at a time. If you canât do that, do a half day, do an hour, youâll get there eventually.
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Go big, because eventually we all go home.
I love you guys.
-
Episode 472 â Shifting Seasons
Today we have Erin. She is 45 and lives outside of Boston. She took her last drink on December 26th, 2021.
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[01:52] Thoughts from Kris:
The transition out of winter is one of Krisâ favorites. He sees it as an awakening. He took the cue from Mother Nature and paused this season. No big decisions or changes. Just time to reflect on things. Now that nature is starting to wake back up, he feels itâs time for him to do the same.
Kris reflects on his first spring in recovery and how the nice weather worried him. He started connecting with multiple recovery groups, discovering his triggers, digging into his whys and was able to feel connected to something bigger than himself. Being a part of a recovery community is cool that way... we see the reward in our own growth, but weâre contributing to the growth of the whole as well.
Wherever you are this spring, thatâs right where youâre supposed to be. Where you go from here is up to you. What tools do you have that youâre using? What tools arenât you using? Is this a season to pick something up, or one to let some things go? Only you can answer these questions for yourself.
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[09:08] Kris introduces Erin:
Erin is 45 and lives about 13 miles outside of Boston. She works as a senior paralegal for a large corporation and works for Rover on the side where she takes care of other peopleâs animals.
Erin says her exposure to alcohol was limited to family drinking on holidays or special occasions, but she never tried drinking until she went away to college. What started as curiosity, ended up as binge drinking and partying multiple days of the week when she joined a sorority.
After getting married, Erin says the drinking was more casual on the weekends or when out and about. After a tough breakup in her early thirties, Erin found herself living alone, working two jobs, and going back to finish college.
During her second marriage, Erin says she and her husband drank a lot socially. Her husband was the life of the party when they were out, but home there was a very different scene that found Erin drinking in isolation to deal with it. She didnât feel she had a way out as she was financially dependent on her husband at the time.
Eventually Erin was able to leave the relationship and started over single in a new town. She surrounded herself with people that drank like her, but deep down she knew she didnât drink like everyone else. Alcohol became her best friend and her drinking got worse during the pandemic as she was isolated and now didnât have the safety of working in the office.
Returning to the office in early 2021 was helpful to her mental health, but she still knew she was drinking too much on the evenings and weekends.
A cousin was sharing how great they felt at 60 days of sobriety which made her become sober curious. Planning to do Dry January with a friend, Erin found herself starting early after getting sick with COVID.
In the early days, Erin continued to go to the bar where her friends were, but she recognized that wasnât good for her. Instead, she started walking more, listening to podcasts, and going to therapy. She was beginning to gain confidence and faith in herself.
Erinâs favorite resource in recovery: RE podcast, Wayne Dyer
Erinâs plan moving forward: continue therapy and connecting with others.
Kris wants to hear from you, listeners! What are you looking forward to this spring? Do you feel something different this year compared to years past?
Email [email protected] and let him know what this spring has in store for your or what you hope to see from it.
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We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home.
I love you guys.
-
Episode 471 â Progress and Perfection
Today we have Carl. He is 52 years old and lives in California. He took his last drink on August 22nd, 2014.
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[03:08] Thoughts from Paul:
Arriving at a perfect balance with progress and perfection is ungodly hard, and we all struggle with it.
No one is perfect and if youâre telling yourself, you should be doing more of ABC and less of XYZ, welcome to the party, welcome to the human condition. There is progress though, you are self-aware which is more than 1/2 the battle.
We have to have dualities, for example, tall to know short, you need silence to know sound. You have to have imperfection to know perfection. They are both equally important and you canât have one without the other.
So, with progress not perfection, most of us are using someone elseâs version of perfection to define ourselves. While your soul is remarkably perfect, this is no perfection in this perfectly imperfect world. Go do you, and remember we are all just walking each other home.
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[09:52] Paul introduces Carl:
Carl is 52 years old, and he is a graphic artist. Carl admits he didnât have a lot of fun before recovery but now enjoys writing, painting, drawing, and podcasting. He is the creator of Sober Pod Recovery Podcast.
Carl had been in treatment as early as 15 years old and says that even while doing programs, he was essentially a dry drunk. He had other addictions and was able to get sober for five years before a relapse.
Carl married his childhood sweetheart who had a child from a previous relationship. Together they had three more children. He says he drank alcoholically and while he was functional, he pushed the limits and was mixing copious amounts of alcohol with other drugs. He would take the online tests and the conclusions would all lead to treatment.
Health consequences were happening for Carl, but he resigned myself to being the guy who drinks himself to death. Towards the end he was able to string a few days together here and there, and since he had been able to quit a heavy meth addiction years earlier in life, he considered himself lucky to just be an alcoholic.
After two years of trying to quit drinking with little success, he joined a Reddit Quit Drinking page and shared some of his story. The feedback he found the next day after posing shared that he was likely doing damage to his family and that stung a little bit. Another person shared with him that he deserved to be happy, and Carl had never felt that way before.
Carl had gained 60 days of sobriety and then attended some AA meetings. It wasnât a new scene for him but this time it was different, and he started going back. He was frustrated, acknowledging that in order to stay sober he was going to have to keep going. He didnât want to be one of those people, but he decided to give it a try and work on the steps with sponsors.
Over time he was starting to feel more connected to the community and doing more service work. Reading became important to Carl, learning more and more about the path he wanted to go on. His creativity suffered initially in sobriety but says it has come back 100-fold. He reflects that AA should be used as a launching pad.
Carlâs perspective on the point of life: the meaning of life is to find what youâre good at, the purpose of life is to give it away to others.
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We took the elevator down, we got to take the stairs back up.
I love you guys.
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Episode 470 â Why Alcoholics Donât Get HangoversâŚ?
Today we have Lara. She is 40 years old and lives in Northwest Arkansas. She took her last drink on August 8th, 2019.
We are putting a call out for early sobriety interviews. We want to hear from you guys. Please email [email protected].
Upcoming events: We start our six-week Ditching the Booze course, the what, the why and the how. This course is for CafĂŠ RE members only and use the promo code âOPPORTUNITYâ to waive the set-up fee if you are interested in joining us.
Registration for our 6th annual retreat in Bozeman, Montana opens Monday April 1st. We come together as a group and we laugh, we heal, we eat blueberry pancakes, play kickball, and have a great time.
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[04:12] Thoughts from Paul:
There was a great question during our Dry January class that asked âWhy donât alcoholics get hangovers?â Paul did a YouTube video about this but wanted to share more here.
Truth is, they do get hangovers, but they usually begin drinking before the full amount of alcohol can be metabolized in their system that they drank the day or night before. As tolerance develops with alcohol, the hangover gets pushed back later in the day the next day. A chronic drinker who drinks 10-15 drinks daily, wonât begin the hangover cycle at 8am the next morning, but more likely, they will experience the worst of the withdrawal effects later that day or evening.
Chronic drinkers are almost always experiencing a low to mid-grade hangover. In other words, they feel like shit all the time. First alcohol takes you to a place where you are no longer drinking to feel good, but to simply feel normal. They you are drinking to simply not feel like death. And then the worst place is when you are simply drinking not to die.
*HUGE ASTERISK* Alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox from. If you have been drinking 5-8 drinks daily, for months or years, then itâs a very good idea to seek medical attention when detoxing.
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[09:26] Kris introduces Lara:
Lara is married and they have two dogs. After teaching preschool for 12-13 years she now teaches Pilates. She enjoys going to concerts and spending time outdoors.
Lara had limited exposure to alcohol until she went to college. While there, she found friends, and they drank regularly. What started out as being fun soon became a way for Lara to ignore her mental health issues that were creating a dark depression. After graduating and the issues getting worse, she ended up going to a psych ward for a few weeks and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She moved back home to live with her parents while she figured out what life was going to look like with the new diagnosis. She continued to drink in spite of the medications.
Lara went to grad school in Colorado and was surrounded by friends and the drinking felt normal. She wasnât having major consequences until after getting married and she realized the drinking was happening all the time. Her husband ended up quitting drinking and while Lara supported him by quitting too, she didnât feel that she had a problem.
Lara found herself reaching out to others to help support her as the spouse of someone quitting drinking. Over time she started realizing that recovery was her path as well.
Lara says that she has learned that she knows how to ask for help if she needs it now. She and her husband share a sobriety date and their life has done a 180. Alcohol is no longer an issue, and they just enjoy living life.
Laraâs favorite resource in recovery: Holly Whitakerâs book Quit Like a Woman.
Laraâs parting piece of guidance: Just find one person who you can talk to.
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Youâre the only one that can do this, but you donât have to do it alone.
I love you guys.
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Episode 469 - 10 Facts About Americans and Alcohol
Today we have Lisa. She is 66 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022.
CafĂŠ RE â use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.
[02:51] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us ten facts about Americans and their drinking habits that he found in an article from the Pew Research Center.
The article shares with us statistics regarding what people are drinking and where alcohol consumption is the highest, along with statistics about age and income ranges.
The biggest takeaway from this article is the first stat that says, âOnly 62% of U.S. adults say they drinkâ while 38% abstain completely. Not everyone is kung fu fighting. There is a voice inside the head that says, âEverybody drinksâ, but right there we just debunked that myth. A lot of people donât drink because they donât want to. Many people donât drink because their forced to. Whatever the reason is, about 40% of Americans donât drink.
And although alcohol consumption is rising, weâre seeing the younger generations say no, like no previous generation has done so.
Check out Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.
[10:00] Paul introduces Lisa:
Lisa is a repeat guest from episode 411. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. She is 66 and lives outside of Atlanta. She has been married for 37 years and they have two adult children. Lisa enjoys working out, traveling, reading, and listening to podcasts.
Lisa grew up in a close family, but her parents had a miserable marriage. Her mother drank to deal with it and the drinking increased when Lisa was in middle school. Upon trying her first drink in high school, she didnât have the âwowâ moment at first but quickly found it gave her confidence and she felt accepted and less insecure with her friends.
After graduating college and entering the booming computer software industry, Lisa found herself drinking at a lot of parties, conferences, and sales meetings. She says her husband didnât drink much. Aside from when she was pregnant, Lisa drank in a way that she considered normal.
In her 40âs, Lisa and her husband left the corporate world and started their own business. It was successful but very stressful. She says her drinking ramped up and she was beginning to try and hide the wine bottles from her husband.
After a fall Lisa had during a blackout, her doctor referred her to a counselor. She discovered AA and was able to stay sober for a year without doing the work. Soon after the year mark, Lisa thought she could moderate and started drinking again. She was successful with moderation at first, but after retiring, finding herself as the sole caretaker for her elderly mother, the drinking increased again.
One night Lisa found herself pouring a glass of wine that she really didnât want and it was then she decided enough was enough. This time Lisa decided to get help. She went to AA and didnât feel it was working for her. She discovered a Facebook group called SoberSis as well as CafĂŠ RE. After her last interview, she was connected with a lot of other ladies that she is still connected with today.
Last year found Lisa tending to several health scares, several surgeries, and the unexpected loss of her parents eight weeks apart. Lisa says that gratitude, using the tools she has learned in the sober community as well as her faith and family has helped her remain sober through it all.
Lisaâs favorite ways to relax deep breathing and exercise.
Lisaâs advice for somebody struggling with life and alcohol: find a way to connect no matter how uncomfortable it is, we have to have connections.
CafĂŠ RE â use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.
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Go big, because eventually weâll all go home.
I love you guys.
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Episode 468 â A Day in the Life
Today we have Amber. She is 41 years old and lives in San Luis Obispo. She took her last drink on May 26th, 2020.
âFirst it is an intention; then a behavior; then a practice; then a habit; then second nature; then it is simply who you are".
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[03:04] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us what a typical day in sobriety looks like for him.
He starts his days with hydration, breathwork and/or stretching, reading and coffee. He takes time to connect with the universe and asks for guidance throughout the day.
Paul likes to reflect on what he is thankful for either in a journal or he sits in a comfortable location outside facing the sun while he closes his eyes and gives thanks. Even on shit days, he makes a point to thank the universe.
Reminding himself that the present moment is all that matters, spending time in nature, doing things that he enjoys, connecting with fellow sober peeps, and being creative are also very important to Paul.
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[12:13] Kris introduces Amber:
Amber is 41 years old; she has two boys and a partner in crime. She works as a 2nd grade teacher, in addition to being a running and sobriety coach. They live in San Luis Obispo, CA and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, running, and swimming.
Growing up, Amber says she was always shy and preferred to be in the background. She was introduced to alcohol in high school and discovered it helped her feel confident and have fun. She didnât really enjoy the taste, but she loved the way it made her feel and she and her friends drank every weekend.
After going to college, Amber says her drinking only increased. She was recruited to be on the softball team with a full scholarship. The practice and academic schedule was challenging and her drinking increased from every weekend to nearly every day. She gained weight, she wasnât studying, and her grades were suffering. Her performance on the team found her on the bench often and eventually she was cut from the team and lost everything.
Amber moved to San Diego and finished college there while working in restaurants. She says her drinking increased even more and she got a DUI a few years later. Shortly after that experience, Amber decided to join a teaching career and the stress of it found her relying on alcohol at the end of the day.
Amber says a turning point came after getting married and having two children back-to-back. She had many roles to fill but was still drinking two bottles of wine a night. Finally figuring out that she wanted more for her life, Amber filed for divorce and started taking better care of herself. She started running as an outlet for her emotions and found herself meditating, which she feels helped her make decisions. She looked at her sobriety as a fresh start.
Initially Amber was quiet about her recovery and felt she could figure it out on her own. Once she realized that wasnât working, she found Celebrate Recovery, got a sponsor, and started doing the work. Once she started meeting more and more people in recovery she stopped feeling alone.
Amber left her teaching job and started her own business as a sober running coach. She started a sober running group Recovery Road Runners and they do a lot of fun things together and help other people stay sober.
Amber encourages people to find physical activities that they enjoy doing, maybe things they did when they were kids. She also suggests vision boards to think about where you want to be in the future and goals you may have.
Amberâs biggest fear when she quit drinking: âThat I would never have any fun again, total lie. I have way more fun now.â
CafĂŠ RE â use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.
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Recovery Elevator YouTube
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Recovery Elevator
Weâre the only ones that can do this, but we donât have to do it alone.
I love you guys.
- Visa fler
