Avsnitt
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Discipline and hard work are the keys to success, right? It's how you accomplish your goals and create the life you envision... at least, that's what we're constantly being told.
But while discipline is a useful tool, it's not useful in every situation. And when it comes to achieving your goals, discipline can actually end up slowing you down rather than getting you there faster.
In today's episode, we unpack this unusual idea, so you can know the pitfalls of being overly reliant on discipline and you can detect the opportunities where there is an easier way to get better results.
If one of your goals is to overcome p*rn addiction, sign up for my new, free newsletter here, to get access to my best tools and strategies: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/
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To become a man, you must progress through a natural process of maturing: from boy to Knight, to Prince to King.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where this natural progression is denied to most of us. And instead, we have social media, OnlyFans, vapes and junk food to keep us stuck in boy mode...
Join the newsletter & get access to my free courses: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
The result is clear: we've got a lot of boys walking around in adult bodies, these days. We've lost and forgotten all the tools our ancestors had, to help in the difficult transition, the teach a boy how to become a real, complete man.
Nowadays, we get stuck in childhood in many ways. We become passive consumers of entertainment media and entertainment goods. And yet, no matter how comfortable we are or how much we entertain and stimulate ourselves, we never actually feel good in a lasting kind of way.
The solution to this is to get unstuck and progress through the stages of development that, as a man, you have a natural inclination to go through.
In this episode of the QuitByHealing Podcast, you'll discover the 4 stages of development that every man must go through, how to go through them and where it typically goes wrong.
Chapters:
00:00 Intro
01:00 The 4 Stages
01:08 The Page - looking up to his heroes
01:51 The Knight - adventure calls!
02:23 Play and skill development
05:11 The Prince - time to build
07:19 The crisis at the end of the Prince phase
08:41 Multiple attempts as a Prince
10:05 The King - the mature man, in service of others
11:27 How to apply this to your life
12:25 How we get stuck
13:57 Addiction is seeking a substitute for real development
15:22 The eternal Page
16:24 A world designed to keep you immature
17:40 Getting stuck in the Prince stage
19:12 Avoiding failure is overrated
20:36 You can’t skip to the King stage
22:08 Which stage are you in?
24:00 Observe the stages in others
25:19 How you can progress to become The King
The stages of development presented in this episode are based on Alison Armstrong's work "The Amazing Development of Men" and I highly recommend you check it out.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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In this episode, we're looking at the surprising and powerful benefits of... doing nothing.
Phone addiction, doomscrolling, social media dopamine traps, p*rn... everyone's addicted to digital stimulation these days. And it's causing a lot of suffering.
I know how bad this can get, both from personal experience and from the people I've worked with to overcome their addiction. When you're in the middle of a personal mental health crisis, everything feels overwhelming and hopeless.But what I have for you today is a message of hope. There is one fact of life, one thing that is universally true and that we can actually observe everywhere if we just pay close enough attention, that makes me very optimistic. And once you understand this, you will see that for you, no matter how desperate your situation seems, a solution is much closer and much more immediate than you think...
00:00 Intro
00:29 The Spiral of Suffering
01:27 The Thing Everyone Misses
03:27 Example: Curing Disease
04:33 Removing Interference
05:45 What (not) to DIY
07:07 What About Mental Health?
08:49 A Message of Hope
10:04 Don't Believe Me
11:45 A Fact of Life
12:03 Why this is a "Secret"
13:04 You Have the Power
The fastest way to quit: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/
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https://quitbyhealing.com/links/☝️ this is the link for the QuitByHealing Community, all the free courses I mentioned in the episode and for the 21 day QuitByHealing Program.When you use p*rn a lot, one of the consequences is that it changes and warps your desires. It's common for addicts to end up watching content that isn't even aligned with their true desires or even true sexual orientation.In today's episode, we examine the phenomenon and explain how you can "uninstall" those fake desires and return to a healthy, wholesome and authentic sexuality.Note: this is advanced content. If you are only just starting on your journey of addiction recovery, there is better content for you to start with.I recommend the first episode of the podcast: https://youtu.be/MIRntVnoX34?si=dPopq2M7SvNuOucEAnd this "how to quit" crash course: https://youtu.be/ttNE0Fd9PoI?si=lpu5g8QwD_TMkOdgChapters:00:00 An Important Warning02:13 Emotional Burden07:16 How to Heal09:10 Real vs. Fake Desire12:44 What Happens When You Quit14:00 How to Develop Healthy DesireThe most radical way to quit your addictions and reset your life: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA?si=G7v2cPdbzEjdSJdbWhat happens if you relapse? https://youtu.be/lNvWG65Ta0Q?si=WHwPbEPpOTf7z4skWhy non-resistance is (scientifically) the best way to change: https://youtu.be/couAdusdd1w?si=dtuBOYkz4SXvWvhr
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Do you ever feel like you're trying so hard to improve yourself and improve your life... but you're not making any progress? You're watching all this self help content, reading books, learning strategies, trying new things but you're just not sure if any of it is working.If so, this is the most important message you need to hear. It's what I wish someone had told me 20+ years ago, when my own journey started. Only through years of experience in building several businesses and in developing my own skills (pretty much from total loser to living the dream life) did I finally understand what I'm sharing with you in this video.
Learn my system here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/00:00 - Intro01:27 - Building a Successful Business04:29 - Turning My Life Around08:17 - Success Paradox09:41 - Lesson from 2 Stories10:55 - Why this is a Hidden Truth12:41 - How to Actually Win15:56 - Conclusion
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Join the QuitByHealing community here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/"You're just doing it because you're single! Once you get a girlfriend or wife, you'll be fine!"This is what many people believe / hope about p*rn use and p*rn addiction. It's just a normal, harmless thing that guys do, right? And once you're partnered, the problems go away...Unfortunately, the opposite is often true and users find that their habit causes even MORE problems when they're in a relationship than when they were single.Today, we'll look at why this is and what you can do right now to prevent your addiction from ruining your next (or current) relationship.00:00 Intro01:03 My Story06:17 How the addiction affects a relationship08:58 When an addict gets into a relationship11:10 What to Do: Single15:28 What to Do: Partnered17:18 ConclusionHow to take leadership in communication & relationship: https://youtu.be/u4kOqFU7oj0How to establish healthy boundaries: https://youtu.be/ijVGplE45gIHow to completely reset your brain in 30 days: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIASubscribe to the podcast, leave a voice note: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbhWatch my interview on the Modern Couples Summit: https://summit.modern-couples.com/#aff=skillmedia
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...and realizing this is like a cheat code for life.
Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/You're making your life unnecessarily difficult by going after the things you want. Wait, what..? Isn't it a good thing to go for what you want?Well, yes. But there's one problem: the things you THINK you want aren't what you REALLY want. And in many cases, going after what you think you want actually makes it harder for you to get what you really want.I know this may sound a bit complicated, but that's exactly why I recorded this episode for the QuitByHealing podcast: once you understand this idea, it becomes a real life hack. It's what I used to shortcut my way to living my dream life. Sounds like a big claim, but I have the stories from my personal life to back it up.So strap in and take notes. If you get it, this might just change your life.Subscribe to the podcast, leave a voice note: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh00:00 Intro01:06 What You Think You Want vs. What You Really Want01:25 I want the perfect physique02:33 The Question03:40 Lifting to Be Attractive to Women?06:25 A shorter path to your goal08:35 Direct or by Proxy?09:07 I want a better jawline10:04 I want status & respect11:36 I want to be rich14:10 Chasing Rainbows14:41 Un-Addict Yourself16:59 How to Do This18:00 ConclusionThe ultimate way to quit your addictions, reset your dopamine levels & become a radically better version of you: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA?si=klTCTyDrI2Qcbr7YThe 3 stages of overcoming addictive behaviors: https://youtu.be/dXfLDUFt7jg?si=3i8Zs9zJ7Yq_CcwJBeing bored is good, actually: https://youtu.be/60ak4oTpPG4?si=PgFD5p59RxlC8RM1
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Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
For men, our development is stunted by the modern world and most of us are stuck in "man-child mode" in many areas of our lives. In the last episode, I shared a technique you can use to form deep connections with people (like a mature man) instead of only shallow connections (like a child).
In this episode, we're looking at the flip side of this communication coin: how to establish and defend healthy boundaries.
This might sound simple, but the truth is that A) most likely no one has ever taught you how to do this and B) if you do this correctly, it's absolutely life changing.
If you:
find yourself surrounded by toxic people who don't support you are a pushover and you're tired of it want to be taken seriously want to be able to make a powerful impression on people want to be able to project authority want to be a more desirable manYou absolutely NEED the tool of healthy boundaries in your toolkit.00:00 Intro01:28 Not Everyone Deserves Your Trust04:00 What Are Healthy Boundaries?05:15 An Example06:13 What Unhealthy Boundaries Look Like07:36 Mature Communication is Contagious08:52 Make a Better Impression09:59 Become a Man of Values13:46 How to Handle Boundary Violations15:42 Practice in Small Steps16:23 How it Changes Your Life18:12 Surround Yourself With Excellence19:08 Conclusion
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Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/The world you live in is unfortunately keeping you stuck in man-child mode. This happens in many ways and one of them is the topic of this podcast episode: you never learn to create and cultivate deep social connections or deep romantic connections. The world (especially the online media world) is obsessed with all the aspects of shallow and fleeting connection. It trains you to chase variety and to see social connection through the lens of status. But shallow connections always leave you feeling empty and lonely, no matter how many people you're surrounded by.This applies to both platonic connections as well as romantic ones. In response to widespread dissatisfaction, we see a lot of complaining and entitlement. Everyone's unhappy and in the modern dating discourse, everyone's trying to find someone to blame for this unhappiness. Someone other than themselves, that is.Instead, let's look at exactly why this is happening and how you are being called to step up and take on the role of a mature man and the role of leadership in your relationships.00:00 Intro01:40 Two Modes of Connection04:18 What Does it Mean to Connect Deeply?08:27 Depth of Connection in Romance10.37 Don't Know What You're Missing13:22 How You're Stuck in Boyhood14:30 Solution, Part 117:17 Solution, Part 218:40 Solution, Part 320:40 Growth Outside the Comfort Zone21:57 Conclusion
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Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
What does it take to transform your life completely? Is it even possible to go from dead-end existence, complete lack of direction, low energy, no motivation... to living an awesome life, feeling driven, feeling motivated every day?
As you'll discover in this episode, the answer is most definitely YES. But there are also clear reasons why most people never make such a dramatic transformation. Once you understand what's holding you back, you're one step closer to making it happen.
00:00 Intro00:51 Is it even possible?02:05 Resistance04:53 Social Discomfort06:16 Step 1: Replace Passive Consumption07:37 Too extreme?08:18 Change Your Brain11:08 Why You Should to the Spartan Challenge12:15 Creating instead of consuming15:01 The Highest ROI Thing You Can Do18:10 Rapid Skill Building20:25 Conclusion22:04 Digging My Own Grave?
The 30 day Spartan Mode challenge: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA
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Folks, this is a big one. We decided to once and for all, completely and comprehensively answer the question: "what should I do when I get the urge to relapse?"
This is the complete answer. Not only are we laying out 60+ options for what to do instead of relapsing, but we're exploring exactly why these things work and how it all fits together.
Find the full write up and visual mind-map here: https://quitbyhealing.com/urges/
Join the QuitByHealing community:
https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
Quit Porn Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/quit-porn/
Topics covered in this episode:
00:00 The best way to deal with urges
01:21 The Two Categories
03:28 Exercise, Movement & Burpees
05:20 Don't just resist
07:21 Sport
08:50 Movement Skills
13:53 Movement is Brain Healthy
15:18 Cooking Skills
17:02 Emotional Skills
18:15 Introspective Writing
20:12 Meditation
21:39 Push a little further
23:35 Mental Skills (Reading)
29:40 Active learning & Mental Models
30:18 Social Skills
32:13 Communication Skills
35:38 Social Courage
38:08 Financial skills - Income, Save, Invest
38:39 Too many options
40:58 Rest
41:42 Nervous System - Breathwork
43:26 Addiction Replacement
48:56 Move Through the Urge
49:21 Sitting in the Fire, Embodiment & Boredom
53:00 Active Engagement: Shadow Work
54:00 Amplify the Feeling (Advanced)
57:47 How does this serve me?
01:00:02 Conversation with Addict Self (IFS)
01:03:25 Writing: Emo Dump
01:05:55 Self-Awareness is a Skill
01:07:08 Energy Transmutation Practices
01:11:42 Eureka Moments & Pointing Out the Obvious
01:12:41 What is the best thing to do?
01:18:10 Build your own Version
01:19:24 Where to start? (Self Responsibility)
01:23:18 Don't do it alone
The Summarised List & Full "How To Beat Urges" Protocol Details:https://quitbyhealing.com/urges/👆 NO SIGN UP REQUIRED - 100% free information to help you quit p*rn and other addictions.
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Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
Quit Porn Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/quit-porn/
In this episode, Shane and Abhi take a deep dive into how pornography addiction (and other dopamine traps) can become the main obstacles preventing you from achieving your life's goals.
Through a community survey, we've identified the profound desires people have in life, with healthy relationships and personal growth emerging as top priorities. Of course, when an addiction to porn comes into play, your chances of success are significantly hindered, cutting you off at the knees.
Join us for a candid conversation about breaking free from these dopamine traps and regaining control of your life. Gain valuable insights and actionable advice on overcoming the allure of instant gratification and pursuing a brighter future.
The SPARTAN MODE Approach to Overcoming Addiction: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA
Chapters in this podcast
00:00 - Intro: Is porn a roadblock to your best self?
02:24 - Community Survey: You Want to be a Better Man
06:36 - Sexual Energy is your Life Force
14:04 - A distorted view of Success
18:31 - The Impossible Standard
25:10 - IRL Feels Good
29:07 - Dopamine traps are keeping you stuck
34:08 - The Comfort Trap: Abundance
40:20 - Self Control is the Key
43:12 - Don't wait for rock bottom
Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
Quit Porn Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/quit-porn/
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Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
A lot of folks in the self-development community often find themselves sifting through advice that may not be relevant to their situation. They encounter elite optimization plans, intense bootcamps, and claims of "the fastest and best" methods to achieve their goals, typically offered by high-achievers and coaches.
In this podcast episode, we're introducing a model that breaks down self-development into four levels. This model will assist you in assessing your current level and provide practical tips to help you progress up the ranks.
The Levels of Self Development:
Level Zero - No Lifer
Level 1 - GYST
Level 2 - The Top 1%
Level 3 - Mastery & Paying it Forward
The 5 Pillars of GYST (Get your Sh*t Together):
1 - Physical (Fitness, Strength, Mobility & Nutrition)
2 - Emotional (Awareness & Resilience)
3 - Metal (Knowledge & Development)
4 - Social (Communication & Relationships)
5 - Financial (Literacy & Career Capital)
To get the full episodes on how to practically improve these domains in your life see ikario podcast.
Physical https://youtu.be/gfYaJ9TTqzE
Emotional https://youtu.be/mTGLM0bKOOs
Metal https://youtu.be/f6LiWVBZwGY
Social https://youtu.be/IVuOh1llq64
Financial https://youtu.be/goZ9EzldSko
Chapters in this podcast
00:00 - Intro: What advice is right for me?
03:31 - The 4 Levels of Personal Development
04:23 - Level Zero: No-Lifer
07:42 - Addiction Keeps You Stuck
11:02 - Unconsciously Seeking Escape
15:16 - You Cannot Consume a Solution
16:03 - Level 1: GYST (Get Your Shit Together)
19:26 - Level 2: Top 1%
22:56 - Level 3: Mastery & Paying it Forward
25:23 - Motivated by Making a Difference
29:10 - Role Modelling to Make a Change
32:44 - Level Zero Advice: Stacking Small Wins
38:45 - Start Where You're At
40:16 - High-Functioning Level Zero
42:43 - Deliberate Action
44:24 - Tracking Small Wins
45:06 - Level 1 Advice: Kill Internal Suffering
48:01 - Level 1 Advice: Consistency & Remove Friction
56:31 - What is a Skill I Need?
59:16 - The Basics Are Underestimated
1:03:52 - Level 2 Advice: Prioritize & Optimize
1:08:49 - Level 3 Advice: Be open to the Transition
1:10:01 - Summary of the Levels
1:12:21 - Outro
Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
The SPARTAN MODE Approach to Overcoming Addiction: https://youtu.be/XIJs36sHZo0?si=V7DOhfNtFNRCxbeQ
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Join the QuitByHealing community to beat p*rn addiction once and for all: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
Porn addiction is a serious issue. It affects mental health, mood, motivation and many other aspects of life. Not least, it affects everything related to love, dating, romance and sex.
As I've discovered through my work with addicts, the addiction creates a complicated, tangled mess that construes all the guilt and shame associated with pornography overuse with healthy desire, romantic feelings and acts of self pleasure.
In this podcast episode, I attempt to untangle this mess so that you can move towards a healthy, happy relationship with desire, sex and romance in your own life.
In this episode:
00:00 - Intro
01:09 - What is and isn’t harmful
03:50 - A much needed definition of terms
05:12 - Why the untangling is important
06:32 - Religion and shame
07:33 - What it means for quitting
10:08 - Unhealthy self pleasure?
12:49 - Healthy self pleasure habits
14:34 - How porn addiction affects partnered sex
17:04 - Sex and human connection
18:50 - A period of abstinence
20:23 - Beware of simple stories
The most effective way to beat p*rn addiction and rapidly rewire your brain: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA?si=jkYHWMHeEONt8DZ5
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Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
My 30 day challenge summary - see what SPARTAN MODE actually looks like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbPSY9ktLIA
I followed the Spartan Mode protocol for 30 days. The protocol is designed to completely obliterate all bad habits, addictions and all the ways in which we keep ourselves from really living to our full potential.
In this episode, I share in detail what the experience was like and what lessons I took from it.
What we cover:
- The most surprising and unexpected positive effects of cutting out ALL media consumption.
- Why doing an extreme challenge is easier than doing a moderate challenge.
- How Spartan Mode is designed to unhook you from addictive behaviors AND rewire your brain as quickly as possible.
- How to transition back into "real life" after such an extreme challenge.
- What the hardest thing about the challenge was, which almost made me give up.
- The most important lessons I took from the challenge and how you can use them to your advantage.
Check out the QuitByHealing Program here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
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Join the QuitByHealing Community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
Since starting QuitByHealing, I have received thousands of comments on my videos, TikToks and in the QbH community. In all of these comments, I am seeing clear patterns and one of them is this:
There are 3 limiting beliefs that are very common... and that make you fail because they create a self fulfilling prophecy. So in today's podcast episode, we examine these 3 limiting beliefs, look at how they are part of your self sabotaging behavior and discover what you can do to fix them.
Subscribe to the podcast, leave a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh
00:00 - Intro
01:15 - Limiting Belief Nr. 1
02:30 - Fun With Cognitive Biases
05:03 - Cognitive Biases in Action
05:43 - Self Fulfilling Prophecy
06:53 - How to Fix Limiting Belief Nr. 1
09:49 - Limiting Belief Nr. 2
12:53 - How to Fix Limiting Belief Nr. 2
15:42 - A Tool for Awareness
16:30 - Limiting Belief Nr. 3
18:15 - How to Fix Limiting Belief Nr. 3
19:03 - The 4 Pillars of QuitByHealing
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All the QuitByHealing links & resources: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
All of Jeremy's links & resources: https://linktr.ee/jeremymindful
Check out Jeremy's podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1648984850
In today's episode of the podcast, meet Jeremy Lipkowitz. He is a guy who seemingly had it all: academic and athletic success, friends, good health and hopeful prospects for the future... and yet, he was plagued with an addiction to pornography that stole all his joy.
He got fed up with this state of being and chose a radical solution: he left his life behind, traveled to India and studied meditation and other contemplative practices. He was determined to get to the bottom of why his mind kept him stuck in compulsive behaviors and why he was unable to be happy despite things seemingly going so well in his life.
The lessons he brought back from this journey not only helped him overcome his addiction but also changed his life in countless other ways. And today, he shares some of his most valuable insights with us.
Chapters:
00:00 Intro
01:32 Jeremy's Turning Point
04:32 How to Gain Awareness
07:43 Hungry Ghost Behavior
12:15 Addiction Despite Living the Dream Life?
17:25 How to Untangle Yourself from Addiction
21:00 Expert Doom Scrollers
22:38 What is the Default State of Your Mind?
24:27 How to Transform Your Mind
27:27 Why You're Suffering
31:03 Rat Park Experiment
34:52 Where to Start the Healing Process
38:04 What to Do When You Relapse
39:37 Unwinding Your Feelings of Shame
44:17 A Uniquely Difficult Challenge
48:49 A Goal Worth Striving For
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An important tool in your arsenal against temptations, urges and relapses is what we call a strong why. Having a strong, clear, emotionally resonant reason fro WHY you want to quit can make all the difference in a critical moment.
In this episode, you'll discover exactly how a STRONG WHY works and the practical way in which you can create one for yourself.
00:00 Intro00:57 The Counter Force01:53 Example of a WEAK WHY03:03 What Makes a STRONG WHY05:46 The Painful Way to Create a STRONG WHY07:51 How to Create Your WHY12:43 Putting it Into Practice14:46 Conclusion
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Join the community, take the program, find all the important links: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
If you're trying to overcome addictive behavior, compulsive behavior or even just bad habits, here's an unusual thing to consider: what if you don't actually WANT TO quit?
What if you're telling yourself that you really want to quit, that you want to improve and leave this addictive behavior behind... but there's part of you that really doesn't believe that.
This might seem strange or even dangerous to consider, but in today's podcast episode we explore why this idea can hold the key to the breakthrough you've been looking for.
Ideas explored in this episode:
00:00 Stuck in the Relapse Cycle01:34 A Not on Parts Work02:28 The Reasonable Addict04:37 Time to Stop Fooling Yourself06:42 The SHTF Moment10:04 How to Change Before Hitting Rock Bottom12:21 Porn Use & Desire14:53 How Awareness Helped Me Heal17:28 Your Turn to Try
Subscribe to the podcast & leave a voice message here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh
How to quit porn, the crash course: https://youtu.be/ttNE0Fd9PoI
Get my 21 day step-by-step program for overcoming porn addiction: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
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Join my Discord community & get the QuitByHealing Program here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/
Addiction is a tricky problem, but what if the cause of it doesn't have to be complicated? What if there was a single, unifying source behind all addictive behaviors? And what if once you understand this, there's also a single, practical path to unwinding addiction?
I believe this is true, it's just that the source is a bit hard to see. Especially in the context of our culture and double especially if you're a man...
Topics we visit in this episode:
- Why addiction is always a coping mechanism
- How to understand the link between emotional pain and addictive behavior
- The crucial difference between how to deal with emotional vs. physical pain
- What we can learn from grief and a healthy grieving process
- How all of this relates to p*rn addiction
- How to turn this insight into a practical solution
- Visa fler
