Avsnitt
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Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
For Hoarding Awareness Week 2025, I’m focusing on executive function - the brain’s control centre for planning, starting, and finishing tasks - and the small, practical hacks that can make a genuine difference for people who hoard, whether or not we have ADHD or are neurodivergent. I talk about real-life tips for breaking the overwhelm, managing perfectionism, building momentum, and overcoming shame, all with the aim of making progress sustainable and achievable in your day-to-day life. This episode is all about honest advice that actually works, whether you’re in the thick of it or just looking for a few smarter ways to approach this.
Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 and its theme: Hoarding & Executive FunctionRecognition that executive function challenges impact both neurodivergent and neurotypical peopleExecutive Function and HoardingPrevious podcast episodes relating to executive function, ADHD, and hoardingImportance of using effective hacks and techniques, regardless of neurotypeEmphasis on finding what works personally for each listenerThe Realities and Challenges of Tackling HoardingOverwhelm and daunting feelings about dehoardingBreaking tasks into small, manageable partsFocus on actionable, day-to-day strategies rather than long-term, rigid planningUnderstanding Executive FunctionExplanation of what executive function is (control centre for planning, focus, and impulse control)Factors that can impair executive function (neurodivergence, mental health, stress, lack of sleep, etc.)Universality of executive dysfunction - everyone struggles at timesEmotional Barriers: Perfectionism and ShameThe cycle of shame and self-blame in executive dysfunction and hoardingSocietal judgment around hoarding, and its paralysing effectsStrategies for stepping back, naming emotions, and cultivating self-compassionCore Executive Dysfunction Tips and HacksBreaking Tasks DownSetting realistic micro-goalsThe concept of “towards” vs. “away” moves in progressTracking ProgressCounting bags/items leaving the houseCaution against tracking becoming burdensome for someUsing TimersSetting short (e.g., 5-minute) timers to help with task initiationUse of voice assistants to avoid distractionReverse-timer technique to use end of music/podcast as a cue for actionThe Two-Minute RuleLimitations and personal adaptations of ruleIdentifying MotivationsCreating visual or written reminders of why you want to dehoardAcceptance of some tools working only temporarily, and switching when necessaryReward SystemsSmall, non-material rewards for completing tasksLinking listening to desired media (like the podcast) with decluttering activitiesNon-Negotiable RulesCreating routines to reduce decision fatigue (e.g., charity bags leave home immediately)Body DoublingDoing tasks alongside others (physically or virtually, like in the host’s Zoom sessions)Emotional/moral support of parallel accountabilityAlternative ways to body double if group support isn’t accessibleTime Blocking and SchedulingUsing calendars and reminders to schedule decluttering sessionsFlexibly adapting this strategy based on personal responseHabit StackingLinking a new task to an established routine (e.g., unloading dishwasher while kettle boils)Using “add-ons” for frequently-visited spaces (e.g., clearing five things each time you enter the bathroom)Links
Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie LagerstedtPodcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo CavalotPodcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter CoachPodcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and morePodcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon MoreinPodcast ep 82: Dehoarding when you’re drowning with KC Davis of Struggle CarePodcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 184: What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feelPodcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems’Arielle and Ned's Daily Tips That May or May Not Help YouCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @[email protected]: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcastSubscribe to the podcast
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Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In this episode, I’m with Dr Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor and hoarding expert extraordinaire. We unpack the concept of engaging with our belongings - actually seeing, touching, and using the things we tend to accumulate, rather than letting them fade into the background. Jan shares insights from her work, explains why we often feel safer just owning stuff instead of interacting with it, and offers practical ways to build a healthier, more intentional relationship with what we own. There are some genuinely enlightening moments, and plenty of ideas for anyone looking to break free from an excess of stuff.
Defining "Engaging with Our Stuff"What it means to actually engage with possessions (seeing, touching, using)Comparison to possessions fading into the backgroundThe idea of using versus just possessing objectsPatterns of Engagement Among People Who HoardSense of safety from being surrounded by possessions without interactionOnly the "top layer" of possessions typically being usedLoss of intention behind keeping sentimental or useful itemsThe psychological comfort of having versus using objectsEmotional and Psychological Aspects of Compulsive HoardingEmotional connection to the potential of objects rather than actual objectsAvoidance of decision-making by not engaging/touching itemsSecurity and reassurance derived from the mere presence of itemsDefeatism and pointlessness associated with searching for or using objectsBarriers to Engaging with PossessionsOverwhelm from the sheer volume of stuffActive resistance and avoidance behavioursFeelings of incompetence and adaptation through purchasing duplicatesGuilt associated with over-accumulationBenefits of Actively Engaging with PossessionsRediscovering useful or wanted items when sortingIncreased awareness of what is owned and where it isNeurological and psychological benefits of tactile interactionInsights gained from using and trying on items (e.g., clothing)Decision-making as a muscle that strengthens with practiceRealisations about unnecessary duplicates (e.g., multiple ladles in the kitchen)Emotional and practical hurdles in finding homes for itemsPerfectionism and rigidity around item placement and organisationMoving, Arranging, and Re-organising PossessionsResistance to moving items from "their place" due to tradition, attachment, or perfectionismFear of forgetting where things are if organisational changes are madeMulti-step decision fatigue when organisingThe importance of flexible, evolving systems for item placementConfronting Avoidance and OverwhelmThe value of small steps, e.g., simply looking into an avoided bag or spaceThe myth of a “good reason” for keeping certain items, often dispelled when items are revisitedDeveloping Healthier, More Intentional Relationships with StuffIntroducing intention and ritual to everyday interactions with possessions“Rotation stations” and seasonal evaluation/ritualsBenefits of conscious handling, organisation, and maintenanceCultural Perspectives and PracticesJapanese concepts:Te Ate: hand-care, tactile connection as a ritualMushiboshi: seasonal airing and assessment of itemsMa: meaningful emptiness/space as a source of tranquillityContrasts between Western consumerism and other cultural approaches to possessionsChallenges and Solutions in Organising and Letting GoThe impact of spatial processing or organisational difficultiesAccepting that resistance to change is sometimes due to overwhelmPersonalisation and Flexibility in Managing PossessionsTailoring organisation and engagement to one’s own needs, routines, and neurodiversityMaximalism and the need for varying levels of stimulus—distinguishing between maximalism and chaosAllowing spaces to be intentionally clear, embracing the benefits of emptinessThe ongoing journey of developing intentionality with possessionsThe importance of kindness and patience with oneself in making these changesLinks
Podcast ep 146: Where Dragons Live and what we leave behindPodcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons LiveHow to watch Where Dragons LivePodcast ep 53: The Endowment Effect and hoarding – How this cognitive bias makes you feel the need to keep everythingPodcast ep 124: How the little-known Hummingbird Method can help you to dehoard the areas you’ve been avoidingPodcast ep 74: Couples and hoarding: An interview with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples TherapistPodcast ep 140: How to cope with – or help – a partner who hoards, with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples TherapistPodcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie LagerstedtElis James and John Robins podcastCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormDr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffologyhttps://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/https://twitter.com/stuff_ologyhttps://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/Dr Jan Eppingstall on PinterestWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @[email protected]: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast -
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Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
This week, I talk about what happens when I actually let myself feel the tough emotions instead of shutting them down - a pattern that's shaped my life and my struggles with hoarding, self-harm, and eating disorders. After a thought-provoking conversation with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money last year, I started questioning whether avoiding feelings has helped or hurt me in the long run and have been trying to process that ever since! I share what it’s like to sit with big emotions, experiment with messy ways to cope, and why feeling the feelings might just be a way forward.
Avoiding FeelingsRealisation that I tend to do anything rather than feel difficult emotions.Recent personal reflection and processing feelings over the past few months.Impact of mental health and a PTSD flare-up on my ability to manage feelings.Connecting Coping Mechanisms to AvoidanceExperience with PTSD, self-harm, anorexia, and bulimia as different forms of not feeling or avoiding emotions.Insights from an interview with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money that linked these coping together as forms of avoidance.Acknowledgment that these strategies were more than just avoidance - also punitive, protective, and multifaceted.The Cost and Pattern of Emotional AvoidanceCompartmentalising as a lifelong coping skill and its negative long-term consequences.Difficulty breaking the habit of not feeling and the impact on my sense of identity.Recognition that suppressing feelings can be as damaging as (or more damaging than) the feelings themselves.Actively Facing and Processing FeelingsEngaging in therapy, journaling (both resentful and creative/collage style), and reading poetry to access emotions.Talking more openly with friends as a supportive measure.Forcing myself to do enjoyable activities (like getting outside), which helps counteract avoidance.Community, Connection, and SupportImpact of Trauma and Suppression on Daily LifeHow PTSD and unprocessed sadness began affecting sleep, revealing that suppressing feelings is no longer effective.Discusses the challenge of letting oneself feel emotions, both by choice and when overcome involuntarily.The risks of being overwhelmed and the delicate balance between feeling and avoidance.Learning and Conversations About Emotional AcceptanceRevisiting lessons from previous podcast guests about the counterproductivity of suppressing or over-intellectualising feelings.The concept that suppressed emotions may “come out sideways” through other behaviours, like self-harm or hoarding.Nuanced view of coping mechanisms - not labeling them as purely negative since they served protective purposes.Vulnerability, Shame, and Deepening RelationshipsGradual willingness to share deeper, more distressing moments with friends.Examining the reasons behind the instinct to hide intense distress.How vulnerability leads to stronger, more meaningful connections.Positive Effects of Feeling the Hard StuffDiscovering that feeling hard emotions increases the capacity to feel positive emotions more deeply.Finding deeper love, joy, and beauty in everyday experiences.Recognising the importance of support systems when exploring difficult emotions.Reflection and Encouragement for ListenersEncourages listeners to be curious about their own patterns of avoidance and coping.Cautions that intentionally feeling emotions is difficult and requires support.The hopeful observation that allowing feelings can be cathartic, gratifying, and healing—even if it’s uncomfortable.Links
My interview on Death, Sex & MoneyPodcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 169: Compassion-focused therapy for grief and hoarding with Dr Chia-Ying ChouPodcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons LiveDeclutter Hub podcastCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @[email protected]: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
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Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
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Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In this episode, I chat with Carrie Lagerstedt, a professional home organiser specialising in working with neurodivergent people in New Zealand. Carrie, diagnosed with ADHD herself, shares insights on managing clutter and executive dysfunction by creating home systems that work for us. We challenge the very idea of laziness and explore the potential of “may as well”.
Buy your copy at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad
Carrie's background and transition from teaching to organisingNeurodivergence and ClutterCommon issues linking neurodivergence with clutterOut of sight, out of mindSensory overwhelm and its effect on executive functioningChallenges faced by those with executive dysfunctionCarrie's Experience with ADHDBenefits of having ADHD when working with clients with similar challengesBuilding trust through lived experiences and understandingMoral neutrality and OrganisingKC Davis' influence on Carrie's philosophyMoral neutrality and functionality in organisingDebunking the concept of lazinessChallenges of living up to capitalist expectationsSystems for Neurodivergent IndividualsMaking the home work for individualsDifference between aspirational thinking and functional changesImportance of practical systems over willpowerExecutive Functioning and Organisational StrategiesTools used to aid working memory and organisation (e.g., Post-its)Cognitive flexibility and overcoming 'all or nothing' thinkingUnderstanding blocks and identifying actionable solutionsPersonal Experiences and AdjustmentsPersonal stories and realisations regarding household tasksImpact of habituation and changing perspectives on tasksTools and Hacks for Developing SystemsCategorising as key to organisationUsing visual reminders and structured systems -
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Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Today, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack "towards moves" and "away moves" in the context of hoarding. These terms might sound unusual, but they're crucial for understanding behaviour in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how they relate to our values. It's all about recognising whether our actions are leading us closer to what matters or pulling us further away, and we'll be exploring how to identify and pivot those choices.
Introduction to Towards Moves and Away MovesDefinition and explanation of the concept.The relevance of these moves in dealing with hoarding disorder.Initial thoughts on the impact of small actions.Examples in a Hoarding ContextAway moves (e.g., keeping craft supplies, avoiding recognising chaos).Towards moves (e.g., donating supplies, acknowledging home environment issues).Explanation of how values influence these moves.Role of Values in Decision MakingImportance of determining personal values.How values affect choices and provide motivation.Impact of materialism and societal pressures on values.Cognitive FusionExplanation and examples of cognitive fusion.The effect of tightly held beliefs on reality and actions.Discussion of accuracy vs. helpfulness of thoughts.Flexibility vs. Rigidity and PerfectionismPsychological inflexibility and societal expectations.The struggle between personal values and societal pressures.The concept of emotional flexibility and its importance.Recognising Towards and Away MovesStrategies for acknowledging and reflecting on these moves.Importance of awareness in decision-making processes.Dopamine and Pleasure vs. MeaningThe role of dopamine in pleasure and motivation.Discussion on short-term pleasure vs. long-term meaning.How these insights influence approach and avoidance behaviours.Making Changes and Addressing MovesCreating “if-then” plans to anticipate moves.Reflecting on decisions and their outcomes.Recognising patterns and using past experiences to guide future actions.Role of Helpers in Towards and Away MovesIdentification and importance of helpers like goal setting and values clarification.Challenges faced by individuals with attentional deficits.Votes for the Person You Want to BeConnection between choices and self-identity.Concept of actions as votes for future selves.First Steps to Take More Towards MovesStarting with value clarification exercises.Questions to help determine what’s important personally.Encouragement to explore inner motivations and experiences. -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ PodcasthonMind, the mental health charitySupport Mind
During a recent drive with a perfectly curated playlist, I had a revelation about cause and effect, particularly how our past behaviours and experiences contribute to both our challenges and our successes. I talk about having a compassionate understanding of how we've arrived at our current situation and how small, mindful actions today can shape a more positive future. The episode also features a discussion on Podcasthon and highlights the UK mental health charity Mind.
Explanation of Podcasthon: A week where podcasts highlight a charity.Mind Charity: Focus on the mental health charity Mind in the UK.Audio Clip: Sharing a video of Mind's work, with a translation of a Welsh sentence.Cause and Effect DiscussionInsight through Music: Personal anecdote about creating a playlist for a long drive.The role of personal actions in positive outcomes.Life and Hoarding: Exploring causes of both positive and negative outcomes in life.Factors influencing hoarding: Trauma, scarcity, and mental health challenges.Behaviour evolution: Hoarding behaviours becoming normal over time.Impact of Life ExperiencesExamining past experiences and their contributions to current behaviours.Considering past without judgment as a way to understand hoarding.Facing RealityObjective Assessment: Evaluating the current state of living conditions.Navigating feelings like anger, sadness, and bitterness.Future ImplicationsPositive Actions: How they can shape a better future.Accountability and Responsibility: Recognising the impact of present actions. -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to explore a fascinating angle on hoarding: its artistic side. We'll tackle the connection between creativity and hoarding, including why so many people who hoard are into arts and crafts, and diving into how people who hoard might view their possessions in an unusually aesthetic light. Jan shares insights from both clinical experience and research, offering a fresh perspective on the parallels between art and accumulation. Whether you're a creative type or just curious about the psychology behind collecting, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.
Curiosity: Example of using curiosity to cope with pain.Gratitude: Using the Finch app to practice gratitude daily.Journaling: Imperfect journaling as a new approach to managing emotions.Arty, Crafty Side of HoardingTrends seen in clients regarding art and hoardingThe challenge of managing craft supplies in people who hoardAnalysing Creativity and HoardingComparison to detectives and acute perceptionConsideration of feeling overlookedStruggles with Crafting and PerfectionismChallenges in starting and completing craft projectsStudy on Artists and HoardingTraits shared by studio artists and people who hoardADHD and executive dysfunction parallelsArt and Beauty in HoardingTendency to keep beautiful thingsStruggles with displaying or appreciating collected itemsAnalysis of Andy Warhol's AccumulationDiscussion of Warhol’s collection as art vs. hoardingSocioeconomic and behavioural aspects of collecting vs. hoardingAesthetics and Inclusion in HoardingDiscussion of under-inclusiveness in categorising objectsExploration of seeing beauty in ordinary objectsPotential Neurodevelopmental Aspects of HoardingInsights from MRI studyBrain regions potentially linked to hoarding behavioursUsing Art to Represent Hoarding SpaceArtists using clutter and hoarding as themes in artQuestioning the nature of representing hoarding through artFear of Sterile and Soulless HomesAddressing the fear that tidiness equals lack of personalityDiscussing clutter core and maximising aesthetic displays -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger, a psychologist at De Montfort University who has researched how hoarding behaviours develop and the potential for early intervention. We explore the importance of looking beyond physical clutter to understand what possessions mean for those with hoarding tendencies and discuss the role of trauma, loss and life transitions. Plus, we touch on the challenges and potential pathways for early intervention in children and young people.
Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Path to Studying HoardingInfluence of TV programmes about hoarding.Curiosity about the development of hoarding behaviours.Research on Hoarding Behaviours and ChildhoodDiscussion on hoarding behaviours beginning in childhood or adolescence.Experiences shared by research participants.Understanding 'Struggling to Manage'Explanation of the concept derived from research.Methods used by Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger in her research.Qualitative study and grounded theory methodology.Patterns of Hoarding DevelopmentManaging possessions and life.Emotional attachments and meanings of possessions.Impact of life transitions on hoarding behaviour.Overcoming Hoarding ChallengesImportance of support beyond possessionsIdentity and functioning challenges for individuals with hoarding disorder.Early Intervention in HoardingDifficulty in identifying people who need early intervention.Importance of awareness and understanding childhood behaviours.Diagnostic Criteria and Support ChallengesDiscussion on current diagnostic criteria for hoarding disorder.Difficulties in accessing support without a diagnosis.Potential Patterns and Findings in Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's ResearchEmotional attachments and decision-making reluctance.Preferences for discarding possessions through certain methods.Advice for Parents about children showing hoarding behavioursRecommendations for parents of children displaying hoarding-related behaviours.Importance of communication and understanding the emotional meanings attached to items.Emphasis on trauma and loss in hoarding behaviours.Importance of understanding personal experiences in hoarding -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard.
Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded homeImportance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoardingSam’s Childhood ExperienceDescription of upbringing in a hoarded homeEmotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxietyLack of emotional and physical spaceExperiences of shame and comparison with peersCoping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily LifeSam's view of their home as an obstacle courseImpact of hoarding on family relationshipsLack of privacy and its influence on personal developmentImpact on Self-Esteem and Mental HealthStruggle with self-esteem and self-careConnection between environment and depressionFeelings of negativity and isolationSchool and Social InteractionsEffect on academic performance and organisational skillsChallenges in completing schoolworkExperiences with friends visiting the home and related anxietiesAdolescence and Growing AwarenessAnger and frustration during teenage yearsLack of external intervention and supportMissed opportunities for professional helpExternal Perception and Professional InsightOutside family and societal perceptions of hoardingDrip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming othersRelationship with Food and NutritionNegative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smellsOngoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruitRebuilding a relationship with food as an adultLeaving the Home and IndependenceSam’s experience and decision to move out at 20Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded homeContinued responsibilities in a second hoarded homeLong-term Effects on Sam’s Adult LifeInfluence on career choice and support work with young carersOngoing challenges with personal organisation and self-careStruggles with mental health and burnoutSam’s Relationship with FamilyComplex relationship dynamics with parentsLack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisionsReflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on familyCurrent Relationship with Hoarding and CleaningSam’s approach to possessionsEmotional responses to cleaning and organising tasksDeveloping the skillset for maintaining an organised living spaceMessage for Others Experiencing Similar SituationsEncouragement for other young carers and children of hoardersImportance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmasStrategies for mental health and personal growthFinal Thoughts and ReflectionsReflections on how sharing and exploration helps understandingHope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Today, I'm reflecting on 11 unexpected lessons I've picked up since starting this podcast, which go beyond just understanding hoarding disorder. From learning the power of showing progress rather than perfection, to discovering the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone, I'll share insights that have influenced not just my journey with hoarding, but life as a whole.
Let's see how the themes of mistakes, progress, and learning can apply to anyone seeking positive change.
Importance of showing progress instead of aiming for perfectionPersonal struggle with early episodes and progression over timeDecision to keep early episodes live as a reflection of journey and growthExamining ContradictionsRealisation of contradictions in personal life versus podcastingApplying podcast editing philosophy to home tidyingCapabilities and AchievementsRealisation of being able to do things previously thought impossibleLearning from incremental progress and its application to lifeComfort ZonesExploring stepping outside of comfort zonesThe rewards of nudging the edges and expanding comfort zones slowlyLearning and GrowthStarting from minimal knowledge and continuously learningAcademic engagement and gaining comprehensive understandingSticking to a RoutineMaintaining a consistent schedule and routine with the podcastRole of accountability and motivation in sticking to a routineAdaptability and ChangeAbility to learn, adapt, and tweak processes over timeApplication of flexibility learned from podcasting to personal lifeCommunity and AccountabilityImpact of accountability and community support on podcasting and lifeBuilding mutual support through interactions and feedbackFacing Mistakes and RealityEmbracing mistakes and authenticity rather than striving for flawlessnessShifting perspective on self-perceived failuresRespect and Compassion from OthersReceiving respect from guests and listeners despite personal doubtsImpact on self-compassion and self-respectTransferability of LearningApplying lessons learned in podcasting to other areas of lifeRecognising that growth in one area can benefit othersReflections on the transformative impact of the podcast on lifeEncouragement to pursue growth and new experiences beyond direct goals -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In today's episode, I talk about the practical challenges of handling clothes when losing or gaining weight, without promoting or criticising body size changes – this is a diet-culture free zone! I look at the emotional, nostalgic, and practical hurdles in letting go of clothes that no longer fit and offer advice on maintaining a well-balanced wardrobe while managing current size transitions. Like, what do we buy in our new size?! Plus, I'll provide practical tips on selling or donating old clothes and how to avoid over-accumulating in your new size.
Handling Clothes When Gaining or Losing WeightExperience with Weight FluctuationEmotional and Practical Challenges of Clothes That No Longer FitChallenges of Discarding ClothesEmotional Attachment to ClothesDifficulty in Letting Go of Clothes with Memories or AssociationsFactors Influencing the Decision to Keep or Discard ClothesPotential Future Weight FluctuationsEmotional AttachmentsThe Sunk Cost FallacyGuilt About WasteStrategies for Managing Clothes When Weight ChangesBuilding the Dehoarding MuscleSelling vs. Donating ClothesSetting Parameters for Clothing StoragePractical Solutions for Current Clothing NeedsShopping Your Own StuffGradual Replacement StrategyMindful Purchasing DecisionsThe Liberating Aspects of Letting Go of Clothes -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
In this episode, I'm joined by Jasmine Sleigh, professional declutterer, as we discuss the daunting first steps of reaching out for professional help in tackling hoarding. Jasmine shares insights into what prompts individuals to make that initial call and the courage it takes, alongside practical strategies for working with organisers. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on overcoming fears and building trust for positive change in managing clutter.
Inviting Professional HelpJasmine explains common motivators for people to seek helpSpecific incidents or realisations prompting actionExample scenarios like misplaced items or repairsThe Initial Call to a Professional OrganiserWhat typically prompts the call for professional helpJasmine's perspective on admiration for those who reach outThe importance of taking calls seriously and with empathyEngaging with Potential ClientsApproach to initial conversations with potential clientsBuilding trust and understanding the client's situationEstablishing client needs and potential outcomesAssessing the Client’s HomeHow Jasmine gathers information about the client's homeImportance of assessing without judgmentConsidering client interaction with their items and living spaceProfessional Organiser-Client DynamicsRespecting clients’ preferences and leading decisionsBalancing professional insight with client autonomyWorking towards the client's goals and prioritiesProcess from Inquiry to Working TogetherSteps from initial inquiry to in-home visitManaging client expectations and realitiesEnsuring client comfort and readinessIn-Home Visit ExperienceJasmine’s mindset and approach during a home visitAvoiding overwhelm and maintaining professionalismLogistical and emotional assessments of the client’s environmentJudgment and Perception in the Decluttering ProcessBeing conscious of non-verbal cues and judgments perceived by clientsStrategies for maintaining client comfort and trustDetermining Fit and ReferralsAssessing fit between client and professional organiserReferring clients to other professionals when appropriateDealing with Client Motivations and External PressuresAddressing clients seeking help due to external pressuresFinding a balance between urgency and client readinessEnsuring Positive Outcomes and Encouraging Future EngagementCreating a sense of achievement for the clientFostering positive experiences to encourage future self-helpChallenges and Responsibilities of Professional OrganisersEthical responsibilities and managing client expectationsBuilding trust for effective collaborationPersonal Reflections and Habits for Mental HealthJasmine shares personal habits that support her mental healthReflection on the importance of reading and self-care activities -
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In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I explore how to create a ventral vagal space or touchstone to help us regulate our emotions, drawing inspiration from the work of Deb Dana and polyvagal theory. We look at how we can find or create areas within our home, and objects we can use on the go, that provide safety and connection, allowing us to feel grounded and manage overwhelming moments. We'll look at the emotional significance of objects, avoiding those that glower at us, and instead creating spaces filled with comfort and warmth.
Creating Your Own Ventral Vagal SpacePermission Slip segmentDiscussion about photographic portraitsEmotions associated with the portraitsObjects as MemoriesSignificant memories vs. happy memoriesHarriet Impey's notion of "glowering" objectsEmotional Impact of ObjectsPortraits as a reminder of insecurityVentral Vagal Space ConceptUse of Deb Dana's work in polyvagal theoryConnection between emotional safety and physical spaceExplanation of Polyvagal TheoryBreakdown of the nervous system's stages: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagalRelevance of Polyvagal Theory to HoardingTrauma and its relation to object attachmentChallenges of decision-making in a cluttered environmentDeb Dana's Home Analogy - Comparison of home systems to body's autonomic systemsIntegration needed for a "full life" and connectionPractical Application of Ventral Vagal SpacesCreating nourishing home spacesAbundanceImportance of TouchstonesExplanation and significance of touchstonesExamples of personal or portable calming itemsCreating a Ventral Vagal Space or TouchstoneStarting small by identifying objects that bring safety and contentmentUsing childhood memories to influence current safe spacesApplications and BenefitsUsing the space for emotional regulationTouchstones as portable reminders of safetyRecognising objects that already serve as touchstonesImportance of awareness and observation in identifying touchstonesUtilising Resources for GroundingExamples of resources: lava lamps, messages, certain soundsStrategies for implementing these resources in daily life -
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In today's episode, I'm sharing nine strategies that are making a real difference in managing my hoarding behaviour and curbing over-acquiring right now. From tricks to overcome perfectionism and opening a daunting pile of letters to finding support in unexpected places and even leveraging a cute app, these tactics are moving me forward.
Join me as I lay out what's working, in the hope it sparks a few ideas for you too.
Opening 100 unopened lettersOvercoming fear and procrastinationSorting coins and dealing with obsolete itemsDecision-making process in letting goRecognising dehoarding as self-kindness, not punishmentBenefits of having a friend who knows the hoarding situationManaging perfectionism and doing things imperfectlyUsing the "hummingbird method" for tasksIntroduction and use of the Finch app for self-careUsing virtual assistants for task remindersSuccess with excessive mug collection and food cupboardsImpact of the documentary "Buy Now" on purchasing habitsChanging relationship with the inner criticOvercoming Mail Anxiety MilestoneKindness, Not ChoreEmbrace Imperfection for Future GrowthHands-Free Task ManagementBest-before dates at the start of the yearConsumerism DocumentaryCurbing Instant Gratification -
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In today's episode, I chat with Harriet Impey about the complex process of clearing out her parents' cluttered house after their deaths. From unusual family rules to emotional ties with objects, we cover how Harriet navigated the challenges of sorting belongings, her family dynamics, and the personal growth she experienced along the way navigating emotional landscapes.
We also talk about whether her parents hoarded and how their relationship with their stuff has affected her relationship with her stuff. Plus, we discuss the importance of letting go, embracing mindfulness, and the transformative power of therapy.
Trailer: Where Dragons Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ARgzYZei8 Growing up in a cluttered house and realisation later in lifeHarriet's mother's attachment to objects and possible hoardingInfluence of family habits on personal behaviourRelationships and Emotional AwarenessHarriet's journey towards emotional awareness and accepting imperfectionsImportance of recognising complex feelingsManaging fear of arguments and expressing angerUsing Objects Instead of Saving ThemHarriet's family preference for keeping items "too special to use"Transition to using these items with joyFamily Dynamics and Emotional SuppressionDifferences in attitudes towards possessions among Harriet and her siblingsParents' contrasting approaches to objectsImpact of her mother's anxiety on household rules and behaviorClearing Out Parents' HomeHarriet's responsibility in sorting through parental belongingsEmotional impact of dealing with deceased person's possessionsReference to "Swedish Death Cleaning"Importance of considerate item managementTherapy and Self-ReflectionHarriet's 20 years of therapy and its impactThe influence of therapy on personal happiness and self-awarenessLearning to be less rigid in lifeManaging and Letting Go of BelongingsEvaluating the necessity of keeping certain belongingsMindfulness and Mental HealthMindful self-compassion and ACTThe filming of "Where Dragons Live"The dual charm and burden of the family homePersonal Experiences and Family Impact -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-171-hi-ren-the-song-that-dramatically-changed-my-approach-to-my-inner-critic/
In this episode, I discuss Ren's song "Hi Ren," a mind-blowing exploration of inner conflict that blows apart ideas about the balance between darkness and light within us all. We'll unpack Ren's introspective lyrics, which explore themes like mental illness and creativity, and consider his take on life and what we can learn from it. I share how this song's impact has resonated with my own journey in dealing with grief and the inner critic.
Watch the original song by Ren here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc&pp=ygUGaGkgcmVu
Impact of "Hi Ren" by Ren Gill on my lifeRelation to grief and managing the inner criticThemes of Strength and HopeInner strength and resilience amidst challengesInner ConflictIllness and psychological battlesThe pendulum metaphor, advocating acceptanceUniversal evil and inner conflictDark side as defensive rather than malevolentChaos and division as intrinsic parts of selfIdentification with 'hope' indicating a shift towards optimismLife as a DanceComplexity and humanity over supernatural perfectionEpisode contains sensitive topics including swearing, suicide, and mental distressSong AnalysisExploration of mental illness and creativity strugglesConnection to personal inner critic experiencesDialogue between Ren's dark and light personasDiscussion of inner conflict and personal growthInternal struggle about personal achievementsDark side's criticism of Ren’s insecuritiesRen’s music achieving 43 million YouTube viewsDark side as a symbol of temptation and negativityHost's parallel with personal inner criticsSteve Chapman's TED talk on inner criticsEmotional impact of "Hi Ren" song on the hostDark Ren attacks out of fear and insecurity.Inner critic misconstrues protection as help.Inner critic always undermines self-confidence, futile.Ren's song conveys hope's profound impact.Embrace change; it's an evolving balance.Struggling makes us human, imperfect, and relatable. -
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- Visa fler
