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After getting an adult ADHD diagnosis, a lot of emotions can come up. And questions about who you are as a person, and what to do next — like, have I been masking my whole life? Will people close to me still like me if I change?
ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on questioning who we are after finding out we have ADHD. Listen for some of Jaye’s own story about navigating her identity, and some reassurance that we are all of our layers.
Related resources
“I thought I was just quirky.” Plus, ADHD accommodations at work (Mananya’s story)How do I emotionally prepare for ADHD diagnosis?Timestamps
(00:26) Mananya’s quote
(02:13) Jaye’s reaction
(02:33) The grief that can come after an adult ADHD diagnosis
(03:30) Questioning who we are
(05:55) Who are we now that we know we have ADHD?
(09:50) How do we move forward?
(13:03) Outro
To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org.
Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at [email protected].
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Workplace relationships can be challenging for anyone. But for people with ADHD, trouble with working memory, self-control, emotions, and more can make professionalism even more confusing.
Executive and ADHD coach Farah Jamil visits the show to clear up some common mysteries, like, how do I speak up for myself? And, what do I do when I’ve made a mistake? Listen for her answers, and some great tips to keep in your back pocket.
Related resources
I’m having communication issues at work. What’s going on?Radical Candor by Kim ScottFarah’s websiteFarah’s LinkedInTimestamps
(03:38) What does Farah do as an executive coach and ADHD coach?
(06:57) Recognizing that it’s OK not to have all of the answers at work
(09:40) How can ADHD affect collaboration in the workplace?
(11:01) The What, the How, and the Why
(13:03) How can ADHD affect communication in the workplace?
(14:56) Feeling socially awkward at work
(17:15) How to start identifying your needs
(19:36) Conflict in the workplace
(21:43) Communication strategies
(25:28) How can we take ownership of our mistakes?
(31:12) Fear of success
(34:37) Where you can find Farah
To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org
We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Imagine receiving a “no,” to an idea you’ve shared in a meeting. Instead of brushing it off, you become overwhelmed with thoughts of self-doubt and a deep sense of rejection.
This intense emotional reaction is known as rejection sensitivity. And many women with ADHD experience it. In this episode, Dr. J explains how ADHD can amplify fears of rejection. Listen in to learn strategies women with ADHD can use to navigate these feelings.
We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].
To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel page at Understood.
Related resources
ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)Emotional sunburn: What rejection sensitive dysphoria feels like to meRejection sensitivity, ADHD drain, and the power of failure (Weston’s story)Timestamps
(00:49) What is rejection sensitivity?
(02:50) How can rejection sensitivity impact women with ADHD?
(03:31) Helpful ways to manage rejection
(04:48) What is cognitive reframing?
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Do you sometimes feel like you don’t have control over your life? Are there things you turn to in order to feel better that end up hurting you in the long run? Some coping skills, like impulsive spending, can make us feel like we have control over our lives in the moment. But, they end up harming us in the future and starting a cycle of powerlessness.
ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on impulsive spending. Listen for Jaye’s take on borrowing control from the future, and some tips that can help.
Related resources
Ellyce’s ADHD Aha! Episode, The pain of struggling with basic tasks: ADHD in the pandemic5 tips to help teens and young adults manage moneyADHD and emotionsTimestamps
(00:42) Ellyce’s quote
(02:00) Jaye’s reaction
(03:44) How “borrowing” control from the future can lead to a powerlessness cycle
(05:22) What can we do?
(09:19) How ADHD can affect our sense of control
(15:03) The power of self-kindness
To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org.
Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at [email protected].
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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When you have ADHD, it can affect every part of your life — even sex. ADHD impacts how we show up in relationships. And it can be easy to forget it’s with us in the bedroom too.
ADHD sexpert and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman visits the podcast this week to talk about the connection between ADHD and sex. Listen to this foundational episode as we set the scene to cover more in-depth topics on sex in future episodes.
Related resources
Sex, intimacy, and ADHD from ADHD Aha!Ari’s book, ADHD After DarkCome As You Are by Emily NagoskiTimestamps
(03:45) Why is ADHD and sex an important topic?
(07:24) What Ari learned from research for his book, ADHD After Dark
(10:33) ADHD and responsibility
(12:47) Avoiding a transactional sexual relationship
(14:55) Intentionality and ADHD
(17:39) What can we do to help?
(25:10) Ari’s main takeaways
(26:45) What do I do if me or my partner is really excited about sex, but one or the other of us struggles to remember it exists?
(29:54) What do I do if I get distracted during sex?
To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org
We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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It’s a common challenge for many women with ADHD. Where a single moment of forgetting about a task, or feeling stressed about making a mistake, leads to a full-blown anxiety spiral.
In this episode, host Dr. Monica Johnson dives into the connection between ADHD and anxiety. Listen as she explains common ways anxiety can show up in women. And shares helpful ways to manage anxiety.
We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].
To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel page at Understood.
Related resources
ADHD and anxietyThe difference between typical anxiety and an anxiety problemTimestamps
(00:48) Is it common for women with ADHD to have anxiety?
(01:59) Common ways anxiety can show up
(02:24) How to manage anxiety
(03:11) What is TIPP?
(07:10) Can mindfulness help with anxiety?
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Have you ever impulsively thrown yourself into a relationship? Do you change your interests based on who you’re dating? ADHD brains tend to have a lower baseline of dopamine. So, bursts of it can feel extra good. This can happen when we meet someone we like, and want them to like us back.
ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on changing yourself in relationships from Ange’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode. Listen for Jaye’s own connection to this, and some reality checks you can give yourself.
Related resources
ADHD, loving intensely, and impulsivity (Ange’s story)ADHD and emotionsDownload: Signs that ADHD is affecting your relationshipTimestamps
(00:38) Ange’s quote
(03:00) Jaye’s reaction
(04:35) What is dopamine?
(08:08) What happens once we get into the relationship we wanted?
(11:47) What can we do to help?
To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood Channel page at Understood.
Have a challenge you'd like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email us at [email protected]
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Boundaries are limits based on our values — and a key part of good relationships. ADHD can come with low self-esteem and anxiety, which can get in the way of respecting your own boundaries in relationships.
ADHD educator and marriage counselor Melissa Orlov explains what boundaries are and how ADHD comes into play. Plus, she offers tips on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.
To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.
We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].
Related resources
ADHD in marriage: How it changed a relationship (Breon and Dan’s story)ADHD and trouble with personal boundaries in kidsMelissa’s website, adhdmarriage.comTimestamps
(04:28) What is a boundary?
(10:20) How do we figure out what our boundaries are?
(14:51) People pleasing
(20:45) How do we work on creating and evolving boundaries with a partner?
(22:16) Top three things to know, and some activities to get started
(24:42) Cate's Comment Corner
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Staying on top of important events, managing daily life, and making sure a child feels supported and loved is no easy task for a mom. Especially for a mom with ADHD.
Constant feelings of stress and frustration can have a huge impact on a woman’s ability to parent. Listen as Dr. J explains how symptoms of ADHD can impact parenting. Find out why it’s common for some women with ADHD to view minor mistakes as “parenting fails.” And get advice on how to move forward from parenting mistakes.
Related resources
ADHD parenting tips from a Black clinical psychologistParenting tips when you and your child have ADHDTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD and podcast page at Understood.org.
We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Making decisions is a complex process that uses a lot of executive function skills. This can be especially difficult for people with ADHD and can lead to “analysis paralysis,” or getting stuck on making a choice.
ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on analysis paralysis from Emily’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode. Listen for some tips and tools that can help you unfreeze and act.
Related resources
Not lazy, but exhausted from analysis paralysis (Emily’s story)ADHD and “analysis paralysis”The Eisenhower MatrixUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Juggling everything that ADHD throws at us can make us struggle in our friendships. Trouble with executive function affects our ability to communicate and remember things. And the shame that comes with ADHD can lead to us hiding our challenges and pretending to be someone we’re not.
In this episode, host Cate Osborn welcomes a good friend of hers, Elizabeth Kilmer. Elizabeth is a clinical psychologist and researcher in game studies. Join Cate and Elizabeth as they talk about what it means to be friends with ADHD and how having friends who “get it” can be a lifesaver.
Related resourcesMaking friends as an adult with ADHDUnderstanding trouble with social skillsElizabeth’s website, elizabethkilmer.comUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Imagine rushing to get out the door for an appointment and realizing your keys are missing again. You run through the house, searching from room to room. Your heart is racing and you become frustrated as time passes.
After what feels like minutes, you finally find them buried under a pile of mail on the table. You’re relieved but you’re also angry. It’s an all-too-common experience for some women with ADHD. A minor frustration turning into an intense moment of anger.
Listen as Dr. J explains the connection between ADHD and anger. Hear how ADHD can influence emotions. And learn coping strategies.
Related resources
ADHD and anger5 ways ADHD can affect social skillsVisit the episode page for a transcript and links to helpful resources.
We’d love to hear from you. Write to us at [email protected]
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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It can be hard not to interrupt someone else speaking when you think of something you want to say — especially if you have ADHD. Maybe you’re worried you’ll forget your great point. Maybe you don’t want the conversation to move to a different topic. Maybe you’re just really excited to share.
ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote from Sam’s ADHD Aha! episode about interrupting during a conversation. Tune in to learn why this might happen, and some dos and don’ts for when you feel like you might blurt something out.
Related resources
Impulsive extrovert or ADHD? (Sam’s story)What causes trouble with self-control?ADHD and oversharingUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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It can be a struggle to balance chores in a relationship. When one or more people in the relationship have ADHD, there’s even more room for miscommunication. It’s important to be on the same page about expectations, or you may end up with resentment, and more fights than you’d like to.
KC Davis wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning, and hosts the podcast Struggle Care. KC joins host Cate Osborn in this episode of Sorry, I Missed This to talk about care tasks, sharing the load, and getting on the same page.
Related resources
KC Davis’ website, strugglecare.comTackling organization, clutter, and stress with hyperfocus (Wendy’s story)ADHD and messinessUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Imagine a teacher spending countless hours perfecting her lesson plans. But never feeling quite satisfied with her work. And her desires for perfection begin to create a cycle that ends in exhaustion.
The need for things to be perfect can be a common challenge for some women with ADHD. These challenges often stem from other symptoms of ADHD, like trouble with focus or organization.
Listen as Dr. J explains the connection between ADHD and perfectionism. And shares ways to help.
Related resources
ADHD and perfectionismADHD, anxiety, and perfectionism (Laura’s story)Visit the episode page for a transcript and links to helpful resources.
We’d love to hear from you. Write to us at [email protected]
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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ADHD can make communication feel overwhelming sometimes. This can lead to ghosting a conversation or event altogether. Ghosting is when we disappear without an explanation — while messaging, in person, and more.
ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on ghosting from Allison’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode. Tune in to learn why ghosting might happen, and some tips that can help.
Related resources
ADHD, social awkwardness, and ghosting (Allison’s story)Sorry, ADHD made me leave your texts on readADHD and feelings of remorseUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing, and bring up questions like why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold onto friendships? What do I even like to do?
In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills and what we can do to help.
Related resources:
Caroline’s websiteCaroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me?Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing with ADHDUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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Imagine sitting in a conference room, feeling nervous about presenting to your team. This isn’t your first time presenting. In fact, you’ve done this many times before. But despite your accomplishments, a voice inside whispers, “You’re not qualified to be here.”
Dealing with imposter syndrome is a common challenge for many women with ADHD. Listen as Dr. Monica Johnson talks about imposter syndrome and how it’s closely linked to ADHD. And get tips for overcoming self-doubt and quieting your inner critic.
Related resource
Imposter syndrome at work: How I stopped feeling like a fakeVisit the episode page for a transcript and links to helpful resources.
We’d love to hear from you. Write to us at [email protected]
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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For decades, women with ADHD have been overlooked and undiagnosed. That’s finally beginning to change. But there’s still so far to go.
This is where MissUnderstood comes in. We’re a channel made by women with ADHD for women with ADHD. And we’re talking about the things we want to hear. Women with ADHD need (good!) information, smart takes on ADHD topics, and so much more.
Hang out with @catieosaurus and guests as they discuss ADHD, relationships, and sex on Sorry, I Missed This. Get answers to the ADHD questions you didn’t know you had from Dr. Monica Johnson on ADHD and…. Or tune in for practical tips from empathetic ADHD coach (who’s totally been there) Jaye Lin on Tips From an ADHD Coach.
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give