Avsnitt
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We have made it to episode six of this episode stretch, talking through attachment theories and the quality of attachments, and how parents can show up to create a sense of trust or distrust.
We've been going through, just talking about the foundations of what creates that connection in a relationship, and we are coming off of the foundation of attachment theory, where it states that strong relationships are that dance of rupture and repair.
There are benign ruptures, meaning like little blips in the relationships, and then there are big ruptures that require major repair. The quality of that dance, how well we are sensitive to the ruptures and quick to repair, and the quality of the repair made is what signals the quality of the attachment bond.
So we're talking about attachment theory.
Attachment theory is the quality of that attachment bond that affects the way that your child develops mentally, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially. The strength of this relationship is the main predictor of how well your child will do both in school and in life, meaning how well you are becoming aware of the ruptures and doing the repair work with them is empowering their toolbox so that they take those skills into their future relationships.
In all of this, the child is looking for a safe base, somewhere to land and somewhere to launch from that creates a sense of safety in them. It's important to know that your sense of bonding, your sense of safety with your child, is different than their sense of safety with you.
For example, I work with parents, and sometimes they come to me and say, "No, no, no, I'm not punishing them," but they act this way. And when we flip it and I say, "Well, do you think that they are feeling punished?" then they start to say, "Oh yes, they are."
It's when we shift out of our own perspective and shift into a child's perspective, we can start to see like, "Oh, the ways that I'm showing up is creating this threat response in them." And as soon as we can become aware of that, then we can start to step into our own empowerment of growth and change.
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We will look at unsafe parenting. The topic of this series is delving into attachment theory and breaking down this complex theory.
Strong relationships are likened to a dance between rupture and repair. In my positive parenting class, I discuss this concept using the visual of a pothole. Living in a downtown area, I often encounter potholes that can disrupt entire streets.
Despite our efforts to avoid them, potholes persist, much like ruptures in relationships. Some ruptures are benign, such as momentarily checking a text message during a conversation.
However, if left unaddressed, these small ruptures can escalate into larger issues that linger for months or even years. It's crucial to address and repair these ruptures to build and maintain strong relationships.
π Welcome to Be Kind Coaching! π
Parent with support, with parent coach MegAnne Ford.
Discover practical parenting strategies and insights.Ready to start your journey?
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Inside this series exploring the four qualities of a secure attachment bond, we're discussing the dance between rupture and repair. Ruptures are mistakes, moments of dysregulation, outbursts, frustration, or anger.
These moments are natural and human. In a secure relationship, we come back together and do the repair work, recovering from those ruptures.
Therefore, when navigating attachment and building secure attachment, we become curious about the quality of our comfortability with rupture and repair. To remind everyone, attachment theory focuses on the quality of the attachment bond that affects your child's development β mentally, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially. Importantly, a caregiver's attachment to the child actually starts long before the child forms an attachment to the caregiver.
These attachments develop differently for each person. In my work, platform, classes, and this podcast, we shift your perspective as the parent or caregiver.
We elevate the child's perspective because in a secure relationship, we're looking at whether the child has a safe haven (or "safe face to land") to return to after a rupture.
Please Listen, Subscribe, Rate, and Comment wherever you listen to podcasts the most
π Welcome to Be Kind Coaching! π
Parent with support, with parent coach MegAnne Ford.
Discover practical parenting strategies and insights.
π¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦ π¨βπ©βπ§ Ready to start your journey? π©βπ¦π©βπ©βπ§βπ§
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π https://www.bekindcoaching.com/
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What is insecure parenting? Let's explore the underlying factors contributing to insecurity in parenting and gain valuable insights into overcoming challenges and fostering a more confident and nurturing approach.
Learn from me, a certified parent coach who teaches Positive Parenting Methods and coaches you to create a home environment that you can be proud of!
Tune in to uncover practical tips, expert advice, and real-life stories aimed at empowering parents to break free from insecurity and cultivate a more secure and fulfilling relationship with their children.
Learn the difference between a punishment and a Consequence.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching Website
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In this series of videos, we delve into various parenting styles, aiming to provide a comprehensive understanding of what secure parenting entails.
One fundamental aspect highlighted is the establishment of boundaries and limits within the parent-child relationship. These boundaries serve as essential tools in the toolkit of a secure parent, contributing to the development of a healthy and balanced dynamic.
By setting clear boundaries and limits, parents create a sense of structure and safety for their children, fostering an environment conducive to emotional security and growth. Through exploration and discussion, we aim to empower parents with the knowledge and skills necessary to cultivate a secure and nurturing parenting approach.
IN TRUST
Episode 5.28 The secure parent
Episode 5.30 The safe parent Episode
5.32 The soothing parent
Episode 5.34 The seeing parentNOT IN TRUST
Episode 5.29 The insecure parent
Episode 5.31 The unsafe parent Episode
5.33 The unsoothing parent Episode
5.35 The unseeing parentπ Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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π§ Let's unveil the truth, uncover the nuances, and debunk common misconceptions between attachment theory and an attachment parenting style.
Whether you're a seasoned parent or just beginning your journey, this insightful content empowers you to navigate parenthood with confidence.
#AttachmentTheory #AttachmentParenting #BeKindCoaching π
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Ponder the realities of the struggles that naturally come with parenting. Through insightful discussions, we shed light on the importance of acknowledging and embracing the challenges, fostering resilience, and nurturing authentic connections within our families.
With a special segment where parents engage in transformative exercises from the Clear & Kind Parent Program. It's time to redefine the narrative, let go of unrealistic expectations, and find joy in the beautiful messiness of real, imperfect relationships. Join us on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
Supporting you on your Positive Parenting Journey, empowering you to build lasting, healthy relationships with your kids with classes and group coaching.
As a former misunderstood child turned parenting coach. I created the C.L.E.A.R. Method to foster connection for any parent.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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Today's episode will focus on separating who we are from what we do and discussing how being a parent shapes your identity and the methods you use.
I invite you to get comfortable, grab your journal, and let's begin. Welcome to "MegAnne is Not a Parent, But..." the podcast where I, your host MegAnne Ford, a former Early Childhood educator turned positive parenting coach, help parents like you navigate the challenges of dealing with your strong-willed child's difficult behavior.
Clients have described me as a blend between BrenΓ© Brown and Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus, known for bringing awareness and holding space for challenging conversations, making concepts like behavior, relationships, and temperaments easy to understand and implement.
If you struggle with your child's loud, dramatic, disruptive, over-the-top behavior and doubt whether a parenting coach can help, especially if you think such coaches are only for "bad parents," then this episode is especially for you.
Grab a journal, a cozy blanket, a warm beverage, and enjoy the exploration ahead. Let's start by reading a message from one of my favorite cards, a tool for self-reflection and inspiration, from my friend Jennifer's Oracle deck.
The card's message is "Change how you measure," urging us not to solely measure success by our current circumstances or how we got there but to consider who we are becoming.
Start taking action today:
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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Addressing the challenges parents face, acknowledging that feelings of inadequacy often stem from a lack of skills rather than inherent shortcomings.
Emphasizing the learning and practice involved in parenting, offering understanding and support to parents navigating the complexities of raising children.
I am a former misunderstood child turned parenting coach. I created the C.L.E.A.R. Method to foster connection.
The Positive Parenting Journey empowers you to build lasting, healthy relationships with your kids. https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-journey
You can begin your journey with the Understanding Us Series Email Series. https://www.bekindcoaching.com/understandingus
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Maternal emotions are real and valuable.
What are the nuances of mom guilt?
Let's uncover the reality behind itβrevealing, relatable, and reshaping our perspectives.
Join us for a shame-free journey to empowered motherhood!
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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How can we use our emotions to our benefit?
Do you think there are bad and good emotions?
What if we could shift our thoughts about emotions to just allowing them to be messages!
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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Are there 'Bad' emotions?
What would life be like without emotions, and the impacts of emotions on our experiences?
Get ready to reframe your perspective, embrace every feeling, and dive into a world without 'bad' emotions!
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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Let's challenge the notion of anger as the "bad guy" and advocate for listening to anger cues, just as we heed the signals of hunger, thirst, and sleep as a path to self-discovery and transformation.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
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Explore the transformative role of self-awareness in personal growth.
We reflect on the satisfaction derived from our best efforts and the distinction between change and growth. With a focus on awareness, we uncover blind spots and consider the impact of our upbringing.
We'll address the fear often associated with awareness and introduce the concept of the "three interlocking rings."
Discover the signs that indicate a need for heightened awareness in your own life and embark on a journey to unlock your true potential.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
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Dive into the profound world of trauma healing with our podcast as we explore essential books like
'The Deepest Well' by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris,
'Healing Developmental Trauma' by Heller and LaPierre,
'What Happened to You?' by Oprah and Dr. Bruce Perry,
'It Didn't Start With You' by Mark Wolynn, and
'When the Body Says No' by Dr. Gabor MatΓ©
"Healing Developmental Trauma" Heller and LaPierreJoin us on a journey of understanding, compassion, and transformation.
Check out my list of recourses that include the books above
Trigger warning: We are working through, from a birds-eye view, what trauma is and its effect on the body. Listen to your body. You could get triggered, which is normal. You are safe here to take a break and come back. Learning about these things can only propel you forward in life.
The information below serves as a conversation opener and public awareness, NOT a substitution for professional mental health support.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/π¨ Subscribe Right Now
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Explore what happens to our bodies when we come in contact with a threat and how this information will help us understand our own reactions to the children in our lives. Our bodies are actively trying to protect us, but what happens if there really is no threat?
Do you over apologize, have difficulty saying no, are you a people pleaser? Have you ever thought to yourself that your body is keeping you safe? You might be in a state of stress.
How can we grow our awareness of the impact that we have had on our kids?
I share a big win from one of my clients inside of C.L.E.A.R. and Kind Parents.
Trigger warning: We are working through, from a birds-eye view, what trauma is and its effect on the body. Listen to your body. You could get triggered, which is normal. You are safe here to take a break and come back. Learning about these things can only propel you forward in life.
The information below serves as a conversation opener and public awareness, NOT a substitution for professional mental health support.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/π¨ Subscribe Right Now
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/subscribe -
Do you know when you are in freeze mode?
Explore what happens to our bodies when we come in contact with a threat and how this information will help us understand our reactions to the children in our lives.
Our bodies are actively trying to protect us, but what happens if there really is no threat?
Trigger warning: We are working through, from a birds-eye view, what trauma is and its effect on the body. Listen to your body. You could get triggered, which is normal. You are safe here to take a break and come back. Learning about these things can only propel you forward in life.
The information below serves as a conversation opener and public awareness, NOT a substitution for professional mental health support.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/π¨ Subscribe Right Now
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/subscribe -
Do you know when you are in flight mode? Can you escape the lion? Or is it just a cat?
Are you aware when you pick up children in love or anger?
Explore what happens to our bodies when we come in contact with a threat and how this information will help us understand our own reactions to the children in our lives.
Our bodies are actively trying to protect us, but what happens if there really is no threat?
Trigger warning: We are working through, from a birds-eye view, what trauma is and its effect on the body. Listen to your body. You could get triggered, which is normal. You are safe here to take a break and come back. Learning about these things can only propel you forward in life.
The information below serves as a conversation opener and public awareness, NOT a substitution for professional mental health support.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/π¨ Subscribe Right Now
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/subscribe -
Is your child quick to fight you? Are you quick to anger? It might interest you why that is happening.
Trigger warning: We are working through, from a birds-eye view, what trauma is and its effect on the body. Listen to your body. You could get triggered, which is normal. You are safe here to take a break and come back. Learning about these things can only propel you forward in life.
The information below serves as a conversation opener and public awareness, NOT a substitution for professional mental health support.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/π¨ Subscribe Right Now
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/subscribe -
Our brainβs main focus is to adjunct our bodies to navigate circumstances. If the circumstance becomes dangerous, we become protective so we can survive.
That is when our brain can make assumptions about our environment. Is the animal that is in front of us a tiger or a cat?
Trigger warning: We are working through, from a birds-eye view, what trauma is and its effect on the body. Listen to your body. You could get triggered, which is normal. You are safe here to take a break and come back. Learning about these things can only propel you forward in life.
The information below serves as a conversation opener and public awareness, NOT a substitution for professional mental health support.
π Take action with Be Kind Coaching
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/positive-parenting-linksπ Visit the Be Kind Coaching website
https://www.bekindcoaching.com/π¨ Subscribe Right Now
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