Avsnitt
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There are two specific virtues characteristic of your higher self. These two virtues can turn your inner demons into inner supporters. They help you overcome deep-seated trauma and pain that keeps sabotaging your relationships. They can reduce your anxiety and depression. And they can make every aspect of your life—whether in relationships, in your career, or anything else—more fulfilling and enjoyable.
So, what are these two virtues?
Courage and compassion.
While courage is generally considered masculine and compassion feminine, the combination of the two is the only way to heal you of your traumas, free yourself from the burden of resentment, and start you on a journey towards true transformative change.
But I won’t delude you: Developing courage and compassion can be difficult. That’s why it’s so rare when it happens in real life.
That said, it’s possible. And after listening to this episode, you’ll be steps ahead of the average person towards developing these two virtues.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how courage and compassion heal and integrate your inner parts, how to balance justice and mercy after someone wrongs you, why forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and forgiven, and realize how crucial these two virtues are for creating a life without regrets.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why hurt people hurt people—and how to break this vicious cycle instead of perpetuating it (0:38) How to morph your inner demons into inner supporters through the “Two C’s” method (1:02) The “respond, not react” secret for healing your deep-rooted traumas and pains in a healthier and more effective way (5:18) How scribbling in a journal or walking in nature can help you reconnect with your true self and heal your traumas (7:03) Do you have trouble forgiving people who have wronged you? Here’s how to free yourself from the burden of resentment (and why it’s crucial for your emotional health and relationship) (9:22) 2 exercises you can do today and for free to cultivate the skill of courage and compassion (20:11) How to react and respond better to life’s natural ups and downs (without being overwhelmed by negative emotions) (25:30)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Most men, especially hypermasculine men, feel like therapy doesn’t work for them. Or worse yet, that therapy could never work for them.
And I get it. Not only are up to 80% of mental health workers women, but traditional psychotherapy operates through a feminine lens that further alienates masculine men.
When men go through traditional therapy, they often feel discouraged, angry, and unheard. Because the feminine approach doesn't account for their lifelong conditioning about how emotions make you weak.
But nothing could be further from the truth: Not only do emotions add all the spice to life that makes it worth living, but mastering your emotions makes you more productive and more fulfilled too.
In this episode, I explain why traditional psychotherapy often doesn’t work for men, and I reveal four ways masculine men can start to accept their emotions, undo their conditioning, and use therapy to help them accomplish their goals.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why many men are on the path that only leads to emptiness, regret, and extreme loneliness (and how to jump off this path) (1:24) The single biggest barrier to effective therapy for men (6:14) The “color of life” mindset shift that instantly makes you feel more okay with your emotions (7:43) How the feminine approach to therapy practiced by most therapists renders therapy useless (and how to experience a more masculine—and effective—approach) (8:09) All men who have resistance to their emotions needs to listen here: (13:39) This one question will start to undo your conditioning that emotions are obstacles to be avoided or solved (15:16) How a relentless drive to be productive and successful robs you of all the joys of life and turns you into an emotionless robot (19:25) 6 ways to get buy-in from your masculine protector parts that can make therapeutic effective (and an example of how one of my clients went through this process) (22:15)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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This week’s episode is a special episode, especially if you’re an achiever (like most of our listeners are). Leon, a long-time fan from South Africa, reached out for a one-time session that doubles as a podcast interview.
While your situation might not be exactly the same as Leon’s, if you’re an achiever or struggle with abandonment issues or neediness, there will likely be several themes that apply to both your life, as well.
I treated this interview like an initial consultation. Listening will give you insights into how you could accept your inner child parts that have been filling you with emotional turmoil (even if you don’t have the same exact problems as Leon does).
Best part?
Well, about a week after we recorded this interview, Leon reached out to give me an update. It blew my mind—and his initial progress will blow your mind too.
If you feel stuck, abandoned, needy, or just can’t get over your desire to achieve (because you’re unconsciously looking for love), this episode will help you get on the right path.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How being a “Parentified Child” forces you to take on your parent’s emotional struggles and become a needy adult (and how to break free from this restraint after growing up) (0:29) What to do when you feel lonely on your self-development journey and constantly ask yourself when your journey will actually end (8:52) How to start opening up and being more vulnerable when you feel like you’ll be ridiculed and judged when you do (13:01) Why resisting reality is the most painful thing you can do (and how your life starts to change subtly as soon as you accept reality) (23:04) How living in a single closet in a big city as a single man can present you with more exciting opportunities than having a lavish house in a small town (26:53) Do you constantly worry that you’re not meeting your potential? Here’s why it’s impossible to fulfill your potential (40:40) Why meeting your therapist in person is actually the worst way to leverage the therapeutic process for your self-growth (48:17) How to stop being ashamed by your neediness (and how to use it to find the relationship you want) (1:00:09) Why learning how to embrace sadness, anger, and fear is one of the best ways to embrace love (1:07:18)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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One problem that haunts every relationship, career, and life is falling into a victim mindset. When you blame others for your problems and fail to acknowledge your role, you remain stuck and helpless in this vicious cycle.
Worst part?
As your relationships start to crumble, you’ll likely experience a heightened sense of anxiety and depression. And if you don’t address this, your life becomes a series of missed opportunities, and unfulfilled dreams, leaving you with a sense of regret and dissatisfaction.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
While it’s tough to break out of this cycle, it’s possible. And by taking full responsibility, like we discuss in today’s episode, you can improve your relationships, your mental health, and your life’s accomplishments.
It won’t be easy. Learning how to take full responsibility takes time and patience. But tuning into this episode is a good first step.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The ONLY way to break free from the stuck, powerless feeling in your relationship (0:34) How to transform from a helpless victim into an active creator of your life (1:00) Why blaming your partner for every argument you have hijacks your power to improve the relationship (and eventually leads to heartbreak) (2:17) The “author of your story” secret that liberates you and enhances your closest relationship (It can even save your marriage from the brink of divorce!) (2:55) The “4 Ultimate Concerns” created by a renowned psychotherapist that can help you steer your life in the direction you want (5:45) How to stop relying on your girlfriend or best friends to feel complete and whole (8:25) Do this the next time you feel lonely and wish you had a partner (it’s a more effective long-term strategy that eliminates your loneliness) (9:06) Why asking yourself this question while in a heated argument with your partner allows you to resolve conflicts faster and strengthen your bond (22:51)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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When was the last time you felt true joy and fulfillment in your life?
For many achievers, this is something that they never experience. Each achievement and accomplishment is followed by another pursuit, always keeping happiness just out of your reach.
The worst part?
This relentless pursuit of success makes finding lasting happiness and fulfillment impossible.
But it’s possible to break free from this toxic cycle. In fact, there are 5 simple ways to help you break free from this cycle that I reveal in this episode.
If you’re constantly feeling like something’s missing in your life no matter how much you achieve, listen to this episode now. Your future self will thank you.
Show Highlights Include:
How chasing achievements leaves you unhappy and unfulfilled (even if it boosts your self-esteem in the short term) (1:04) The “Deranged Tree” secret for ignoring societal standards that keep true happiness always out of reach (6:57) The cold, hard truth about why your successes feel hollow and isolating (12:16) Asking yourself this simple question can help you discover your ultimate purpose in life (15:46) The “Karma Yoga” method that forces you to become fully present in the moment (16:49) How to deeply understand what brings you true joy and fulfillment with this simple weekly exercise (18:00) Why reading books for pleasure is one of the quickest ways to shift out of an anxious state of being and into a calm one (20:54) The “dancing with the music” mindset shift that leads to healthier relationships, better mental health, and more joy in your day-to-day life (23:26)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Neediness plagues every relationship, and achievers tend to be more needy than other people.
Why?
Well, the achiever’s desire to achieve often stems from neediness itself. Achievers think they have to earn every bit of love and approval in their lives. And then the success you achieve from this mindset tricks you into believing that this is a good trait.
However, look closely into a successful achiever’s life, and you’ll see that no matter how much they achieved, there’s a deep void of loneliness in their lives. Look closely into their relationships, and they’re riddled with neediness.
But you know what?
Listening to this week’s episode is a good first step to help you take off the mask of achievement that leads to loneliness and neediness.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious “Do More” trap achievers fall into to eliminate their neediness that only makes it surge (0:42) 3 survival strategies you tried as a kid and how they still dominate your behaviors today (4:05) How needing external validation poisons every relationship you have from the inside out (7:38) Why success serves as a mask for your deepest insecurities (and how to take the mask off) (9:38) A key questions achievers must ask themselves to stop feeding their neediness (14:33) Downloading this app is the first step towards eliminating your neediness (23:22) Will you lose your edge if you stop striving for success and achievements? (26:54)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Here’s a harsh truth for many men to understand, especially the pleasers and fixers:
It’s not your job as a man to continuously attract your woman or to make her happy. Instead, it's about understanding the elements that naturally cultivate attraction and happiness within a relationship.
But this approach to dating and attraction is a lot harder because it requires improving yourself at the deepest levels instead of putting on a façade.
But you know what?
Despite it being harder, it leads to a more fulfilling relationship. And yes, this includes sexual fulfillment too.
In today’s episode, I’m answering some tough questions like:
What are women actually attracted to?
What keeps women committed in a relationship, especially a long-term relationship where the initial spark has died?
And how do you not only attract a woman, but keep her?
And I reveal my 3H and 3P methods for helping you understand the complex dance of attraction and commitment that are the cornerstones of building a successful long-term relationship.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why the initial spark in your relationship dies when you don’t understand this… (0:56) How wondering how to attract your ideal woman is a sneaky way to display your neediness (and how to stop being needy) (3:59) The “CRW” secret for naturally attracting women without even trying (7:08) Are women sexually attracted to wealth? Here’s why they’re not (even if they say they are) (13:08) How meeting the emotional needs of your partner naturally sparks, and intensifies, your attraction to her (and the “P-word” that strengthens these emotional bonds) (18:09) Why downloading a meditation app on your phone can significantly enhance your attractiveness to women (20:06) How to both improve the sexual relationship with your partner while also strengthening the emotional bonds that glue the relationship together (28:57)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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One of the most common and deadly fears people have is the fear of failure. And this fear in particular has dire consequences:
It creates a life where every decision is clouded by the terror of making a mistake. Where opportunities are left unexplored because the risk of failure looms too large. A life shackled by the fear of failure leads to stagnation—professionally and personally. Even your relationships suffer because a fear of failure prevents you from being your true self. Living with this fear for too long means never truly knowing the full extent of your capabilities or the depths of who you are.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
When you liberate yourself from the gripping fear of failure, you view every setback as a stepping stone to something greater. Your relationships improve because you show up as your true self. Your career takes off because you’re no longer shackled by this pervasive fear. And by embracing failure, you unlock a more adventurous, spontaneous, and fulfilling life.
It won’t be easy—it takes time and effort to address and overcome this deep-seated fear. But it’s possible.
In today’s episode, you’ll discover where the fear of failure comes from, and even more, how to use both modern and ancient wisdom to overcome it and live a more fulfilling life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why attaching your value as a person to your success and failures is a recipe for fear and disappointment (4:54) The Buddhist monk’s secret for overcoming your fear of failure (7:38) How striving for happiness keeps it out of your reach (and how to find joy without searching for it) (8:24) 2 simple, yet wildly effective ways to find peace and fulfillment within yourself right now (even if you haven’t achieved everything you want) (10:37) 4 exercises to help you directly engage with different parts of yourself and understand why they manifest as fear and anxiety (14:34) The daily “Radical Self-Acceptance” practice that not only enhances your personal relationships, but also deepens your relationship with yourself (18:55) How to become more aware of your intrusive thoughts and transform them into positive ones in just 5 minutes each day (20:06) The dire consequences of living a life controlled by your fear of failure (and how it bleeds into every aspect of your life) (26:15) How embracing failure improves your relationships, boosts your attractiveness, and infuses your actions with a sense of purpose and freedom (27:17)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There’s a certain problem that touches the core of men’s struggles, but it often flies under their radar. This problem sabotages intimacy, confidence, and connection, leaving only anxiety and depression in its wake.
I’m referring to sexual shame—and it’s something that happens to men both unconsciously and consciously.
That’s why in this episode, I’m going to help you understand where sexual shame comes from, why it has persisted over centuries, and give you the roadmap to break free from these chains.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How sexual shame not only sabotages intimate moments, but also shatters your confidence, connection, and authenticity (2:00) This quick mindset shift is the first step towards overcoming your sexual shame (3:00) The weird way studying philosophy and ethical theory can wipe away the seeds of sexual shame inside you (8:29) 3 theories that explain why men feel sexual shame (and how understanding these theories helps you conquer your shame) (10:39) How religiously-induced sexual shame lingers in your psyche long after you leave the religion (and how to root it out from your subconscious completely) (18:55) 4 ways sexual shame manifests in intimate relationships (24:58)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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One of the best ways to become more attractive to women, to feel more fulfilled in your life, and to generally boost your happiness is by building up your internal self-worth.
But this practice is easier said than done. And men today often make the mistake of trying to build their self-worth on external sources, like needing attractive women to be attracted to them. This not only backfires, but creates an unrelenting source of neediness that’s waiting to poison any relationship they get into.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
Even if you rely on external validation for your self-worth today, it’s possible to fix this. I did this myself after building my persona on external validation, going through an existential crisis, and attempting suicide.
But you don’t have to go through these same struggles if you listen to this episode.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how you can cultivate a sense of value and self-worth that’s rooted in yourself. You’ll learn how shifting this mindset not only makes you more attractive as a person, but also leads to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. And I’ll share some practical tips for starting your internal self-worth journey today.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The “world within” secret for building authentic, unshakeable self-worth that doesn’t hinge on anyone’s opinion of you (1:55) Where does the need for external validation come from and how does it spoil a relationship from the inside out? (2:53) Why “shame-based programming” from your childhood keeps you stuck in the friend zone (and how to avoid putting yourself in the friend zone) (9:13) How pegging my own self-worth to how women viewed me led to me attempting suicide (and how to prevent making the same mistakes in your love life) (13:03) The proven “AFR” method for creating your own source of validation instead of relying on external sources (16:42) 3 practical ways to start uncovering your emotional wounds that prevent you from building internal self-worth (and how to easily turn these into a daily routine) (20:28)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There’s a psychological condition that’s been flying under the radar for too long. It’s a form of PTSD that builds up from more minor-seeming traumas you experienced throughout your life. And it may be the saboteur of your dating life and relationship success.
Worst part?
Most men have no idea it’s lurking in the shadows of their psyche.
So, what’s this condition?
It’s something called Complex PTSD, or c-PTSD for short. It makes the work seem like an endlessly challenging place. But by understanding it, you can learn to lessen its grip and stop its control over you.
In today’s episode, you’ll discover what Complex PTSD is, how it starts and grows, and how to overcome it—whether you find it lurking in your psyche or a friend’s or lover’s.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Is “Complex PTSD” haunting your relationships and dating life? Here’s how to find out and thwart it if it is (0:52) Why c-PTSD happens in interpersonal relationships and how it can be triggered by simply swiping on dating apps (5:16) 2 real life examples of how c-PTSD plays out in careers, relationships, and life in general (7:10) The insidious way “mundane traumas” can build up in your psyche that can sabotage promotions, engagements, and steal the joy from life (11:25) 3 simple ways to help a friend or girlfriend struggling with c-PTSD (without offending them) (16:04) How group therapeutic coaching helps you navigate the choppy waters of c-PTSD without worrying about repercussions of your vulnerability (18:43) How to develop coping mechanisms for c-PTSD so triggering events don’t throw you into chaos (21:06)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There’s often a fine line between love and neediness, especially for men. Women have a sixth sense to sniff out neediness, which can leave you confused and unconvinced unconditional love even exists.
But when you look closely into the differences between love and neediness, you’ll see how diametrically opposed these two states are.
Love comes from a place of abundance, neediness from lack. Love is based on internal validation, neediness on external validation.
But if you can’t even tell the difference between the two, it’s impossible to bridge the gap from neediness to love.
So, how can you bridge the gap and transform neediness into love?
In today’s episode, you’ll discover the difference between love and neediness, practical steps to cultivate self-love and suffocate neediness, and how to nurture unconditional love in relationships (even if neediness rears its ugly head).
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to spot the early signs of neediness before they wreck your chances of finding true love (1:43) The subtle mindset shift that frees you from the toxic stranglehold of neediness and warps you into love (4:51) Do you cringe when you find yourself becoming needy? Here’s how to bridge the gap between neediness and love (6:08) Why people pleasers struggle the most at finding unconditional love (and how to avoid common mistakes people pleasers make—even if you are one) (8:29) How healthy boundaries prevent unconditional love from morphing into unconditional neediness (10:54) The indestructible two-step antidote to neediness (12:30) This book will not only stop your neediness in its tracks but also helps you build unconditional self-love (18:50) Practical “self-reflection” steps that steer you away from neediness and open the door to true, unconditional love (25:18) How to transform neediness into an opportunity to deepen communication in relationships (28:52)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Many men don’t understand the difference between sadness and self-pity. And this lack of understanding comes with a big cost: You sacrifice joy and growth when you confuse sadness for self-pity.
Now, this isn’t your fault, per se. Most modern men grew up believing toxic masculinity myths like that crying is a sign of weakness. Not only is this false, it’s objectively wrong and science has proved this.
When you embrace and process sadness in a healthy way, it’s no longer an emotion to be feared but an opportunity for growth. But when you ignore, neglect, and repress your sadness, it can morph into self-pity, which, besides nuking your happiness, also leads to actual health problems.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how to spot the crucial differences between sadness and self-pity, why self-pity is so detrimental to your emotional and physical health, and tools to navigate sadness in a way that opens doors not closes them.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why confusing sadness with self-pity sabotages your entire experience of life (0:22) How to use gut-wrenching sadness to open doors to your higher self instead of letting it slam doors shut (2:04) The “Self Pity Quicksand” that traps you in your own head, prevents you from growth, and spirals you into destructive actions (3:25) How masculinity myths not only cause mental and emotional pain, but keep joy and fulfillment out of your reach (6:18) Do you think it’s unmanly or weak to be sad? Here’s why this toxic thought process will block you from true love (9:39) The scientific proof that sadness leads to profound self-growth while self-pity leads to high blood pressure, cortisol, and a weakened immune system (12:45) How to embrace your emotions instead of shying away from them with the “signal” mindset shift (17:26) 4 tools that will help you embrace sadness without devolving into the quicksand of self pity (20:39) A real-life example of how to turn self-pity into sadness and growth (26:44)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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A relationship is an investment from both parties. When these investments tip to one side or another, it plants the seeds of resentment and destruction.
This is why nice guys and people pleasers who bend over backwards for their partner find themselves cheated on and heartbroken. While bad guys get the girl (even though it doesn’t blossom into true love).
The best way to ensure a relationship is growth-oriented and fulfilling is by balancing the investment scales. But how do you do this in a non-manipulative way?
That’s what we discuss in today’s episode. Besides discovering how to balance a relationship’s investments, you’ll also learn common pitfalls men make that tank their attractiveness, how to improve your self-worth, and why setting boundaries allows love to blossom.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How men unknowingly plant seeds of resentment in their relationships when they commit this mistake… (1:15) Why buying your girlfriend the most expensive ring in your budget may cause her to get cold feet (5:54) The counterintuitive reason only aiming for sex in a relationship ensures you don’t have it or a deeper connection with women (17:17) A few ways to increase your girlfriend’s investment in your relationship and strengthen your connection (17:47) The “Trading Technique” to use on your first few dates that makes your date dream about you when she falls asleep (21:34) Why endless pampering ruins almost as many relationships as cheating (24:51) The single most effective “Attraction Amplifier” that most men are afraid to use (27:44) How you plummet your perceived value after a date goes well (29:21)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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We're wired to value what we work for more highly than what comes easily. This especially applies to relationships.
But a lot of men accidentally plant the seeds of resentment in their relationships because they have a desire to prove their worth to their girlfriend or wife. But when you do everything for her, you’re actually robbing her of her ability to connect with you on the deepest level.
A better solution is doing the opposite: The more your partner invests in you and your relationship, the more she will value it.
Now, this isn’t a free pass to wield manipulation, which only works in the short-term at the expense of the long-term. Instead, it’s about knowing the rules of engagement and using them to your benefit when they’re aligned with your morals.
In today’s show, you’ll discover the “Cost Worth Connection” that can instantly raise your value on the spot, why people pleasers and nice guys struggle in long-term relationships, and how to avoid common pitfalls that come attached to the “Cost Worth Connection.”
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The “Cost Worth Connection” formula for growing stronger in your relationship as years pass instead of withering away (1:17) How helping your girlfriend or wife with everything actually plants seeds of resentment instead of connection (1:55) How to increase attraction, appreciation and enjoyment in a relationship (even after you’ve passed the honeymoon phase) (6:13) Why people pleasers struggle in long-term relationships and cause their attractiveness to diminish (6:37) The weird way this popular habit-building method can improve every aspect of your relationship (10:22) How bragging in front of beautiful women makes them recoil and run away from you (17:40) The psychological reason why nice guys always get mistreated, dumped, and cheated on—with real life examples (18:15)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There’s a lot of modern men, especially those who frequent Red Pill and manosphere blogs, forums, and websites, that are deeply unhappy and unfulfilled. But instead of using this as an opportunity to grow, they use it as a way to let their anger percolate.
What happens to these men is they let their anger blind them from the possibilities life presents: Happiness, fulfillment, love.
There’s another, often overlooked, path if you find yourself living an unfulfilled life.
This rarely trotted path?
Morality.
In today’s episode, you’ll discover how morality developed alongside our physical evolution, why it's a key component of successful societies, and most importantly, how embracing your moral nature leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How morality has evolved alongside human evolution (and how this helps you find a date with a high-quality partner) (3:22) The single biggest masculine trait many modern men lack today (5:21) The overlooked reason why you feel exhausted all the time and ashamed to be your real self around others (8:57) The simple, yet difficult way to invite a sense of fulfillment and peace of mind into your life (9:58) How to tell—with near certainty—whether or not you can trust someone else (12:48) Why falling into the “Is-Ought Fallacy” trap sabotages your chances of finding a high-quality partner (14:31) How to decrease your chances of being lied to or cheated on (18:58)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Nothing is more impactful to your overall happiness and fulfillment—both in relationships and outside of them—than a new concept called “Therapeutic Coaching.”
What’s “Therapeutic Coaching?”
It’s when you mix the best of life coaching with the best of psychotherapy—and unlock profound growth in the process.
Why?
Because not only does it show you how to address your life’s ultimate challenges and worries, but it also helps you actively work through them. So, instead of just talking about your challenges without an action plan, therapeutic coaching helps you incorporate them into your life too.
The result?
You gain a deeper understanding of yourself, stronger emotional resilience, improved relationships, and a more fulfilling, satisfying life—much more rapidly than therapy or coaching alone.
In this episode, you’ll discover why Therapeutic Coaching is the missing key to profound emotional and psychological growth. Plus, I’ll reveal a couple of key strategies to help you become the master of your emotions.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Unlocking true happiness and emotional wellbeing is a skill… Here’s how to learn it (1:43) How “Therapeutic Coaching” is like a master chef cooking up a spectacular cuisine for your relationships (2:53) Why understanding your emotional patterns and healing your past wounds isn’t enough for creating a deeply fulfilling relationship (5:06) How mixing the best of life coaching with the best of therapy can turn your stressful goals into ones that unleash a deep sense of joy into your being (6:55) The counterintuitive way confronting your mortality can unlock a deep sense of purpose in your life (10:07) How to turn feelings of loneliness and isolation into kinship and connection (10:50) The “Simply Noticing” secret for making profound improvements in your emotional and psychological growth (16:16) Does being vulnerable make anxiety squirm through your guts like a parasite? Try these simple approaches to feel more confident when you’re being vulnerable (19:31) How treating therapy like the gym removes the stigma and helps you get more benefit from the process (23:17)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Today, we’re discussing perhaps one of the most important aspects of not only dating success, but to your entire life:
Your attachment style.
If left unchecked, your attachment style can lead to a cycle of unhealthy relationships, constant anxiety, and an underlying sense of insecurity and unhappiness. It’s like living in a house with a foundation that’s cracking, but choosing to ignore it. Ignore it long enough, and the whole structure is at risk.
If you have an anxious attachment style—one of the most popular types for listeners of this show—then it explains why neediness rears its ugly head, threatening the health of your entire relationship.
But here’s the good news:
Just because you have an anxious attachment style today doesn't mean you’ll forever suffer from this. In fact, not only is it possible to manage your attachment style, but you can even transform an anxious one into a secure one.
Now, this is easier said than done. But it’s possible.
In today’s show, you'll discover the roots of your attachment style, how your attachment style gets triggered, how to manage your attachment style so it stops sabotaging your best relationship, and how to transform an anxious attachment style into a secure one.
The result?
You’ll not only improve your romantic relationships, but you’ll transform your entire approach to life. You’ll understand how to build a solid foundation for yourself, so you’re not always rocked by the waves of your emotions.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to prevent your unique “Attachment Style” from sabotaging your relationship and long-term happiness in life (0:41) Despite popular belief: Attachment styles aren’t permanent—Here’s how to grow out of an anxious attachment style to a secure one (1:23) How curiosity can execute your neediness, behead your fear of rejection, and eliminate your inability to trust others (3:35) Do you always worry that your girlfriend will up and leave you? Here’s how one of my clients overcame this deep-rooted fear (and how you can do the same) (5:46) The “Ideal Parent” management style of your inner parts that transforms your most vulnerable parts into some of your most confident ones (7:54) How to enjoy your most intimate relationship (without the constant, nagging fear of losing it) (9:47) The Cardinal Rule for Sexual Attractiveness that you must abide by or else you’ll sabotage a relationship as soon as intimacy heightens (10:53) The wicked way your neediness creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that leaves your partner overwhelmed, suffocated, and resentful (12:07) The 3-step “AUN” process to obliterate an anxious attachment style and transform it into a secure one (15:20)
Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Nothing can kill an otherwise good relationship as quickly as not having healthy boundaries in place. Without these boundaries, toxic interactions start to infect the relationship. Over time, resentment builds as the relationship becomes unbalanced and draining.
The problem is, setting healthy boundaries is a difficult task, especially if you struggle with being assertive. You want to have empathy for your partner, and boundaries seem like a selfish short-cut. But this is a myth.
In fact, setting healthy boundaries is a selfless act: It tells your partner that while you’re there to support her, you respect her enough to allow her autonomy over her own actions, decisions, and emotions.
In this episode, you’ll discover how healthy boundaries save relationships from devolving into resentment and codependency, how to set healthy boundaries (even if you’re not naturally assertive), and simple ways to become more assertive.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The single best way to prevent toxic interactions from infecting your relationships (0:43) Why setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean you’re being selfish or narcissistic (even if this is your gut reaction) (2:56) The counterintuitive way wanting to fix someone’s negative emotions is a form of toxic manipulation that strains even the healthiest relationships (3:56) Want to help your partner without crossing toxic boundaries? Try saying this to them when they’re down… (6:23) The insidious “enmeshing” problem that trips up a lot of guys and dupes them into sabotaging their relationship (and the easiest way to avoid this costly mistake) (9:30) Do you struggle with setting healthy boundaries with your partner? Reading this book will end your struggles (11:59) How to tell the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness so you become comfortable with asserting your needs (without coming across like a jerk) (14:36)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Most men don’t realize that the patterns they see in their relationships almost always trace back to their core insecurities and emotional baggage.
This may be hard to hear at first, but it’s actually an empowering approach to fixing unhealthy dating patterns.
If you constantly find yourself stuck in a cycle of unsatisfying or unfulfilling relationships, instead of searching for quick fixes or dating advice on YouTube, reflect on how your internal psychology is sabotaging your relationships.
For example, low self-worth and unresolved trauma actively work to rip your relationship apart from the inside out.
However, the solution, while difficult, is also simple:
By first focusing on the relationship you have with yourself and addressing unresolved issues, you will naturally attract better partners, form deeper connections, and unlock a more fulfilling relationship.
In this episode, you’ll discover how to confront these internal psychological problems and escape the cycle of unfulfilling relationships forever.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why relying on quick fixes to heal your relationship and dating problems is a surefire way to live alone, isolated, and miserable (0:50) The sneaky way your insecurities and emotional baggage seep into your relationship and sabotage it (1:17) How to solve all your relationship and dating problems by focusing on the often-neglected “inner world” (3:12) Do you think you’re unlucky in love? Well, here’s how your low self-worth manifests in your dating patterns (4:07) The “Mirror Effect” in dating that explains how your emotions, insecurities, and life perspective influences your relationships (and how to attract better partners into your life) (7:42) How your insecurities betray your relationship and makes your neediness scare away your partner (8:15) The key to finally breaking unhealthy relationship patterns and building stronger connections (16:11) 3 reasons why group therapeutic coaching can transform your fear of conflict into a deeply fulfilling relationship (18:48)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
- Visa fler
