Avsnitt
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Mark begins with self awareness and the flywheel of life - How we respond to things now versus when we were younger
Jim shares his thoughts on the wheel and self awareness. “We grow bitter or we grow better”
He say we work hard not to grow into the bitter old man
Jim shares his “only in San Francisco” story. Parking meters and silly parking laws. “Only in San Francisco”
Mark comments after laughing about how upside down San Francisco is right now
Jim laughs at how he responded to the crazy - over emotional
Mark gets into the laughter and jokes about San Fran being bizarro world
Mark shares his Honda driving story and how competitive he used to be
Both guys agree that conflict is more dangerous now
Mark - “I used to lose m y shit in my car”
Mark shares his car conflict - “Merry Christmas”
Mark talks about pausing and readdressing how he responds to other drivers now
Jim reflects again on his parking ticket story
They both laugh again at “only in San Francisco”
Mark says “all this shit’s a choice”. You either make your choices or you give your choices away…and that is also a choice
Self awareness makes you happier. You don’t have control over much
Jim says being self aware allows you to calm things down. It’s a sign of good leadership
Both guys think we are moving away from woke and back toward free speech
Mark quotes Scott Galloway’s Ted talk and “Do you love Your Kids”
Jim says our future leaders need to change the narrative - Stop scaring and misleading the kids
M ark says Biden is compromised across the board
Jim says more people are liking Trump because he speaks from his heart - not scripted
Mark says the election is going to be interesting
He says we are getting distracted from root causes and distracted with propaganda
Mark says the Dems are propping up abortion because it works. And there are maybe 10 topics more important than that. Safety, economy, border, etc…
Mark uses “the river to the sea” example. What river? What sea?
Jim had a young man change his perspective about the protests today. The young people today don’t know what they are protesting and many of the protesters are paid agitators
Our young people have been scared, misled and screwed by Covid. There anger and frustration is almost justified. They got a shit sandwich
Mark says it’s still just “other things” and they’re still just choices
Jim brings up the frat boys who raised the flag and then a go-fund me to the tune of half a mil
Mark brings up pausing in response to negative emotions
Jim shares his dinner story with some Disney related folks and how Disney is aggressively moving away from woke. The biggest box offices are pro America movies
Mark says we will continue to hear things that don’t make sense while Biden is still in office
Mark talks about the value of focus, objectivity and respect in having challenging conversations
You have to hold people accountable to what they say and do
Jim says capitalism fixes things. The market dictates what people will do eventually
Then he brings up Bud Light, Target and Planet Fitness as examples of wokeness backfiring
Mark says life is a meritocracy. Sports is life and it’s great for kids. Work ethic, consistency, respect…These messages work everywhere
Jim mentions the San Francisco government school entity that is going bankrupt. Enrollment dropped
Different testing for different races…it’s a comedy show
Florida and California are different planets. Jim says where he lives might as well be Texas or Florida
Mark says that why many laws belong down at the local level
Mark ends with self awareness, choices, how you respond to thing - you are regaining control over your happiness
Jim says if you ever go to San Fran…remember to turn your wheels
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Mark introduces the topic in the context of self awareness, which then leads to self evaluation of, in this case, communication skills
He talks about generational differences, social media and a “laziness” that he sees creeping into our communication
Jim agrees and goes deeper into the generational distinction. He believes that younger people are too sensitive to words. Almost like they set booby traps for us. He feels that we are also confusing people by mixing up words and phrases. It’s ours to help them reframe positions
Jim brings up the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and the UNC “frat boys” who refuse to let the American Flag be lowered
Mark shares his feedback on “the river to the sea” and how misguided some of these young people are
Mark shares how similar he and his girlfriend are simply because they were born during the same year. He goes on to talk about the word “Oriental” and his experience with this “slur” in his yoga class
Words are getting bastardized. Jim calls hem the “thought police”
Mark brings up Jordan Peterson. How well he listens and how effective he is with his pause before responding. He also holds people accountable to his words, not their interpretation of his words
Jim brings up the difference between being nice and being kind
Jim says there are a lot of complainers out there now. Nobody likes a complainer…they tolerate them. No one will stick around complainers long term. They tolerate and move away. Complainers want to complain without consideration of a resolution
Mark brings up the strategy of using questions to disarm. I don’t know, I’m pretty sure, I feel, I think, I know…these are very different phrases… that mean very different things
Jim likes smart people, regardless of group affiliation. Mark adds the importance of kindness as well
Mark says try to not focus on winning or being right. Also too many people are too easily offended
Mark talks about the power and danger of groups
Jim shares a couple of stories. One about privilege. What is it and why is it important or not so much?
The second about protesting in the 60’s versus today. That today’s protesters don’t seem to know much about why they’re protesting or what they’re protesting. Jim says young people are mad because they got shit on (Covid, etc…)
Mark says we allow too much complaining. It’s about how you respond, to what happens to you
Jim brings the flywheel back in
Mark talks about leading conversations with questions and don’t try to change minds or be “right”
Jim’s quotes “To get what you want, give people what they want”
Begin with what success looks like
Fear drives much of our behavior…Try to find out what those fears are
Be respectful
Past present and future are all factors
Be transparent and work hard to create clarity
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Mark introduces the idea of moving from where you are to where you want to be. How we are tempted to stay in our comfort zone and how our focus in men. We are attempting to help men get more comfortable with being vulnerable. He goes on to lay out the possible paths of staying “comfortable” versus striving for more
Jim jumps in and brings in our flywheel and the notion that most of this comes down to self awareness. Jim talks about listening to a recent podcast with Tim Ferris where he discusses his current place in life and how different it is from his younger days
Mark uses Jim as an example of someone who strives for more. You either choose to get better or you stay comfortable
Jim returns the compliment to Mark as being aspirational as well
Mark talks about never getting rid of fear, but continuing to try to overcome it. Once you move into fear, things start moving forward. He suggest’s that progress I not linear
The guys are using a graphic that shows stage of growth comfort - fear - learning -growth
They bring Tim Ferris back into the discussion and how he focuses now on quality and not quantity. People and not money
Mark brings up the Harvard Study of men and their happiness
Jim quotes Ferris “think of projects as experiments”. It’ll never be perfect…just put it out there
It’s about content, not polish. Mark shares his editing approach - simple and quick
Jim shares some more about the future of podcasting and Mark shares his point of view
Mark brings up Tim Ferris’ “Tools Of Titans” and Jim talks about how he loves to interview people
The guys disagree on the notion of defining what success looks like and then discover it’s not a disagreement, it’s a misunderstanding. After clarification - good point. Let’s agree on what success means or what words mean before we move forward
The guys go back and dig into the graphic. They are seeing it from two different vantage points and the discussion brings context. After contextualizing things the guys agree and the discussion progresses and gets interesting
Jim brings back up the previous episode and dopamine and adds that as context Dopamine hits come from fear and excitement among the things
Mark recalls their just put it outconversation they had about having nothing and having everything Jim expresses some “envy” about Mark uncertain future and Mark returns the favor. Both guys share their perspectives about having everything and nothing
They move in to a discussion of risk and the notion of moving from comfort to fear and purpose and the reality that life moves back and forth The value of hanging out with interesting people and developing the ability to solve problems.
Jim goes back to the graphic. Mark brings his faith and what he is supposed to give back. His purpose is being of service
The topic of goals comes up. Mark thinks of metrics and how he doesn’t like specific goals. Now he sets process and consistency goals. Jim likes the word ‘objectives”
Mark says goals are specific numbers and objectives are destinations. Interesting discussion
Mark says he thinks you have to have aspirations
Jim suggests that maybe it’s a mindset. He feels like he’s moved from what “he” wants and what “we” want. The guys talk about how sports and sales drove their goal driven somewhat selfish actions, which drove success, but maybe wasn’t the best way to be
Mark tells the story about his most recent coach/program and his evolution around this concept - we all have a judge of ourselves, others and circumstances. The other side is your sage. Fascinating stuff
Jim brings up a few of his experiences with some other “next level” guys - self awareness
Mark says he feels like he is reacting to both his stage in life and the circumstances around him He feels an obligation to help. Jim agrees. “You have an obligation to let that out”. He circles back to the graphic. It won’t be perfect,
Civil discourse, we need more. Jim says the podcast platform is still new and a big difference in how we communicate
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Mark starts off with the topics of personal responsibility, self accountability and pride and how they stem from self awareness
He talks about his older brother’s background and a story he shared with him
Mark wrote an article about the story and then thought it would make a great episode
Jim liked the article and agrees that we all fuck up. Jim has his own story he’ll share too
Mark reminds the audience that The Imperfect Mens Club has a newsletter on LinkedIn
Mark shares his younger brother’s circumstances as the real root of this topic and explains why
Mark starts to tell the story
It’s about an F-15 pilot that his brother flew with and a situation he got himself into
It involves a mission and what happened when it was coming to an end and it was time to go home
He loses track of his fuel consumption and is faced with a few choices
The guys comment back and forth speculating about what he’s thinking and his options
Mark shares his opinion on the emotion of the moment and how the pilot’s mind was working in the decision making process
Jim offers his opinion on what might have been going on in the pilots head and the reflects on how we all have these moments and how we choose to respond
Jim begins to share his story of being the guy who picked up the phone for his buddy and his divorce
Mark shares his Will Rogers quote and how we should live our lives
Mark’s divorce story comes up and the guys go back and forth with compare and contrast
How we process big problems and the myriad of emotions. Shame, fear, pride, apology repercussions
Mark’s dad ’s life lesson “What do you do when an engine catches on fire?”
Mark talks about what happens when bad things confront you for the first time
The guys shift to how hard, but good it is to apologize when you really fucked up
Jim brings his friend back up - he had to apologize to his daughter
Mark says it’s hard for him to apologize
Mark relates this concept to projects in business and his experience with people not sharing mistakes until it’s “to late”
They go back to the pilot story and speculate on what happened to him after he landed and what could have been
Jim reminds us from the last episode about the three calls he took from three different guys struggling with the same issue
Jim then recounts a time he was struggling with depression and made a call. He gets a little emotional recalling the story
We all get punched in the nuts - when you take one of these calls you lead with empathy
Mark says we all make these calls and we all take these calls - the power of questions…”What’s going on”
Jim brings back up his call from his friend yesterday who’s in this bad divorce
Jim digs into marriage and how it’s the only license that doesn’t renew or expire - very interesting
Jim essentially helped his friend reframe the situation. Was it a failure or a success that came to an end?
Mark says when you admit to your mistake you gain respect
Apologizing, I fucked up, I don’t know what to do…
Jim says it’s also a cleansing. It flushes out and you become a better person
When you hold on to a fuck up it eats you alive
Jim says that’s what disease is
Mark connects stress to disease
Mark reminds listeners about the IMC newsletter on LinkedIn and encourage listeners to check it out
Jim repeats the connection to LinkedIN and how LinkedIn is melding with personal and professional development
Mark agrees - this melding breeds empathetic leadership among other things - Professional you is personal you
Mark goes back and summarizes the pilot story and asks, “what happens when he goes home?”
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Mark introduces mindfulness as the topic and says he believes people who practice mindfulness are by nature self aware. He also suggests that most people are not self aware
Jim agrees and mentions the current mental health crisis
Jim reflects on his current state. He feels like he has a grey cloud over him
Loneliness is real
Mark talks about how divided we are. Mark says there are a lot of factors today, including Covid and the current wars going on
Mark shares how he responds to negative emotion
Jim brings up suicide - 55,000 per year - 80% are men
Mark brings up Jordan Petersons position on it being a mans world
Jim brings in dopamine - external and internal influences that impact our levels of dopamine. He cites a study that says men lose as much as 50% of their dopamine levels as they age
Jim brings up a few things that can help with dopamine
Mark mentions George Mumford and Andrew Huberman as experts in this stuff
Both guys share some ideas that they know about and or use to stay mindful and raise dopamine. Mark shares his morning routine and expands on his Wim Hof breathing routine and his meditation routine
Jim mentions that he’s reading George Mumford’s latest book about his work with high performance athletes. He uses the term “second wind”
Mark brings up Wim Hof’s position that we are all capable of far more than we think
Jim shares more about Mumford’s book
Mark reminds us of the “you either get bitter or you can get better”. He says he sustains his good habits because he chooses things that he likes, don’t take much time and are simple
Jim tells his story about his latest patent approval process that made him feel better for a few days
Mark shares some dopamine “hacks” from and article Jim found - good versus bad dopamine
Mark shares his yoga experience - why he started and how it helps him
Mark goes back to the topic of loneliness. You can be lonely in the company of other people. He was very lonely during the last few years of his marriage
Jim brings up how boredom can do the same thing
Mark shares how a major reason people leave jobs is no longer learning new things
Mark feels like boredom makes him think lazy - If you’re bored just do something positive - move, walk, get some sun…
It’s helpful to consistently celebrate small wins
Developing a growth mindset - turn your failures into learning opportunities
Mark shares how helpful his current morning routine has beed to his happiness
He shares how important exercise has been for him
Mark ends with some encouragement about how many simple, free, quick tools are available if you just look
Jim ends with the importance of hydration and breathing
Mark shares his hydration protocol and ends by saying that all of this stuff is free, simple and easy to do
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Mark introduces the topic of confidence and mentions Jim’s pre-show comment about getting older and feeling less able to impact his future or the overall future of “things”
Mark mentions how anxious he felt at his 60th birthday party and how he feels like his cause of that same feeling is age but also because the world is crazier now too
Jim starts by sharing his thoughts about his struggles with confidence and his ability to make an impact
He cites AI, division and media as sources of his “dark cloud”
Mark brings up leadership and that we don’t have many leaders. Jim agrees and both guys express their disappointment in our current President.
Jim brings up the LSU/Iowa national anthem issue as an example of us not going in the right direction
Jim compares leadership to parenting…it’s modeling
Mark says good leaders are selfless and their words and actions are the same. He says our current leaders are saying and doing different things
Then they bring back up the LSU/Iowa issue. Jim mentions the LSU head coach and asks Mark for more details. Mark say the media is stoking the racism component
Mark suggests that our kids are not confident about our future and the anxiety it creates
Mark talks about his childhood and how he doesn’t remember being anxious as a kid
Jim cites the hypocrisy of one side being criticized and the other not
Mark brings up history and how this generation doesn’t know history
Jim says we’re rewriting history
Mark brings up the Francis Scott Key bridge collapse
The obsession with dividing us - affects our confidence in our future
Mark asks why this is happening - control. Covid was control. The election fraud was control
What about confidence in the US dollar
Mark shifts to “what do we do about this?” He goes inside and brings up his faith. A higher power
Jim brings up the Easter holiday and what it means. He asks Mark’s opinion from his Catholic background Mark talks about his faith
Mark feels compelled to help the people around him with their confidence
Mark talks about wisdom versus knowledge and the constitution
Jim tells two stories about calls he had last week with two younger people struggling with confidence and certainty. Completely unrelated with almost the exact same questions. “There’s something going on in the air right now”. What’s next?
A lack of confidence in our leaders and future
The guys bring up how they coach people up with their confidence with answers and advice
Success breeds confidence
Mark talks about how he regains his own confidence
Jim says we seek out “trusted” leaders. He bring the Wheel up on his screen and we talk about the 5 parts of life. Todays discussion falls into the Worldview category
Jim tells his story about his coaching call from last week and how he leveraged our wheel in his coaching
Mark says the wheel helps with any kind of coaching
We’re all in this together - everyone has issues. It’s about smoothing the ups and downs. Hopefully going up overall
Jim mentions “alignment” and talks about how isolated we’ve become. The world needs everybody
Mark mentions the Harvard study of men and what makes men happy. The number and depth of their friendships
The division today isolates and that makes us unhappy. The unknown is the worst. Uncertainty takes our confidence away
Jim thinks the devices (phones) have contributed to our isolation
Mark speak to how deep the division is based on your political choices
Mark shares his confidence ups and downs and how he gets it back
Jim brings up the word indifference and Mark’s word is apathy. The opposite of love is not hate, It’s apathy
Jim think young people are becoming indifferent and it’s concerning
Mark mentions having a loved one who is hopeless and he’s trying to help
Jim struggles to remember a quote about hope:)
Gift somebody hope for the future
Mark says find somebody you can help with their confidence today. You can change a life
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Mark makes the introduction and connects today’s topic, immigration to the IMC flywheel from the self out to Worldview
He says it’s a polarizing topic and he also cite the importance of what words mean. Specifically “illegal immigration”
Jim says immigration pushes a lot of buttons. Jim agrees it’s connected to Worldview on our flywheel
Jim ha the perspective of having played rugby with guys from all over the world
When Jim meets first generation immigrants, he thanks them
Then Jim self reflects on his grandmother’s family who were Swiss Italian and talks about the connection that took place who he recently went back ti visit
Mark says most of us are only a generation or two away from immigrants. Then he talks habit about his Irish background and how the Irish and Italians were treated very poorly back in the 20’s and 30’s in Boston where his dad are up. The Irish and Italians bonded in defense and over common traits like Catholicism and story telling
Mark brings up his neighbors house building project. There were 2 white guys and 15 hispanics. He didn’t know who was illegal or legal. They all were polite, happy and working their asses off
Jim reflects on his dinner the night before, which prompted this discussion. A Bosnian couple who came here after flying the war, went to Spain and then came here. Very successful and patriotic. The wife is a teacher in So Cal and she has a very interesting take on the “immigrants of today” and how different they are
Jim asked her opinion - She said 30 kids recently showed up without English skills or any education at all. They are unable to handle the influx. She also said the whole issue has become political
Jim says this has clearly gotten worse under the Biden administration
Mark reflects on his experience working with immigration employment lawyers. The process and cost are absurd
The Mark gives the discussion the context of how w are making decisions as a country now without any concern for mid and long term impact. We do it with immigration, green energy, climate change…everything
Mark says how unfair these policies are to our education, healthcare, law enforcement. It’s going to break our systems
Mark brings up the hispanic young man who is on Tiki’s Tok recruiting, by telling immigrants, “come on over, you’ll get free shit standing in front of his new house and new car with his new phone…recruiting!
Jim brings back up his Bosnian couple. How grateful they are versus how entitled this new generation of immigrants
The guys agree that entitlement is a huge problem for everyone. “What happened to fortitude”
Mark says you can’t force behaviors. You can have laws and rules, but you have to enforce them
Jim speaks as a Californian - “these kids are revenue devices”
Jim talks about the school system - you can’t discipline these kids anymore so the behavior gets out of hand but the government wants the revenue so they can’t kick em out
The teachers are quitting. Everything’s OK and no-one gets punished
Jim brings up the Teacher union and how feckless they are
Both guys want the old way back - let the kids fight it out
The guys bring up the crime issue.
They both agree that a simple process should in place to screen and track. How is this going to impact the election?
Mark says the politicians are doing what they always do - obfuscation and bullshit
Mark addresses the executive order that Trump signed and Biden overwrote it day one. Then he talks about how bills work Stuffing other things in a bill and calling it an immigration bill
The guys have a good laugh about Don Lemon and the media - disingenuous
The media is a huge part of the problem and our “leaders” are doing nothing
The guys share positive immigrant stories
Mark shares his brothers Iranian friend who are in love with America and are both successful doctors and very grateful. They didn’t understand how we don’t understand the problems we are encouraging
Jim shares a couple of stories. One about a Scottish rugby teammate who is now the number 2 executive at the largest grocer in the country now - great story - “I’m the American dream”
He also shares the story of how he met the lady who cleans his house 20 years ago - another great story!
We don’t hear these stories anymore in the mainstream…interesting
Jim finishes with a third story about a family from the Vietnam war era - another great tale
Mark finishes with the point that this topic needs civil discourse. We need plans and accountability
These are not compassionate ways, they are dangerous
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Mark brings up the topic - stoicism as a leadership guide . He reads the definition
Virtue - wisdom, courage, moderation and justice
Mark references the article and video series he’s created around stoicism and leadership
Jim shares his thoughts - He brings up his father’s death…and life. Notes to himself that were stoic
He shares how he reflects on some of his dad’s notes and shares some
Life is how you react to things. We have very little control over much
Mark identifies stoicism versus victimhood
Jim feels true stoics don’t talk about being stoic. He begins to address the similarity of religion
Mark mentions Seneca and Marcus Aurelius
Self reflection and leadership
Mark starts to deliver his 10 stoic leadership traits
Jim mentions Ryan Holiday and Mark mentions Tim Ferris
1. Focus on what you can control…almost nothing. How I react - How I listen - What I do
How you respond to things - this also decreases worry and stress that comes from worry
2. Learning as a lifelong journey. This makes you interesting, creates authority and credibility
Mark brings up Bill Clinton and Jim shares his Clinton story.
Jim brings up unlearning and how important it is to drop certain beliefs
3. Self accountability - How it fits in so closely with the foundation of the club. It’s not sustainable to be around victims. Mark shares his recruiter perspective about people’s stories - are they blaming or taking responsibility
4. How important failure is. Mark mentions the fear, risk, failure, experience, wisdom cycle. Jim mentions his Silicon Valley environment and failure and then talks about his fear during his rugby days. Both guys get deeper into risk and appreciate the difference between knowledge and wisdom
5. Integrity appears in your actions when no one is looking. Actions versus words
Jim cites the difference between integrity and morality Integrity os doing what you say you’re going to do…even if it’s bad
6. Mindfulness is paying attention with intention. Jim asks Mark for a definition of mindfulness. Being present and respectful. Mark reflects on their partnership with respect to respect and mindfulness. Both guys reflect on their individual mindfulness. Mark shares his Henry Ford dinner story. Both guys smile about making people smile
7. Forgiveness for others and yourself. Jim brings it back to the wheel. Mark shares his daily spiritual practice and how he beats himself up. Jim shares his self doubt story
8. Discipline comes incrementally with consistency. Mark talks about his inner conflict with self doubt around discipline. Show up every day. Jim mentions how close addiction is to self discipline - he shares his social media “addiction”. Like sugar to the brain. Moderation is a form of discipline. Media also can make you stupid - propaganda
9. Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s moving forward in spite of the fear. Most people are fearful. Some do things anyway. Motivation comes from doing the right thing and can be acting in service of others. Mark mentions the video he saw about an alligator attack
10. Empathy is treating people how THEY want to be treated. Empathy versus sympathy. How do you want to be led? Treated? Jim says you need to work on being empathetic. Hardship creates empathy
Mark brings up his dad’s Catholic belief and how he is also a stoic. Religion and stoicism are not mutually exclusive. They exist well together and apart
Jim’s shares his recent interaction with a recent football graduate. The last bell - The last whistle. “You’re not referable”. I need to get to know you. The kid didn’t follow-up. Didn’t show up
Mark reflects on Jim’s story and compliments him on his wisdom. 3 strikes and you’re out
Jim’s quote. “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth, When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear”. - Thomas Sowell
We’re not being truthful enough
Mark wraps up encouraging listeners to investigate stoicism
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Mark introduces the concept of unconscious bias and frames it in the context of the IMC flywheel of life and the 5 areas of life
The topic came up as a result of conversations Jim had recently with a couple of friends over dinner and drinks, both attorneys
Jim suggests we all have a “team” whose membership creates some our unconscious biases
Mark immediately thought about what his unconscious biases are and proposes that our language is being bastardized. How important it is to define words before talking about them. Words mean different things to different people
Jim and his friends spoke of the need for 3 things
Free education
Free healthcare
Changes to corporate greed
Jim cites the CEO of PG&E getting a 40 million dollar bonus while utility rates in CA skyrocket. The politicians are in the pocket of the large institutions - collusion
Mark agrees theoretically but disagrees about how to get there. Jim presses Mark and challenges his logic
Mark reframes his position and moves into education…a space he knows well
Mark agrees that education is fucked up. Way to expensive and bad curriculum. He speaks about how big college endowments are.
Why is this happening and how did it happen
Mark suggests the problem is with the family and a move away from faith. Academia is a mess
Jim talks about the government’s responsibility to make America safe and they’re dropping the ball
Mark brings up the minimum wage movement
Jim talks about the lack of corporate support with regard to benefits and taxes
Mark talks about this concept with his companies
Jim brings up monopolies
Mark shares George Carlin’s routines and corporate greed. Mark asks “how did this happen and why did this happen?
Mark brings up Big Pharma and the hoax that is drugs for symptoms
Mark brings up victimhood
Jim brings up DEI and meritocracy
Mark jumps on DEI and then reads the definition of meritocracy
Mark references his daily prayer and the notion of holding people accountable with compassion
Ability and talent are the path to performance and achievement. But without performance, rewards can’t exist
Mark talks about group think and division
Jim asks if the division is what sells. Politicians looking for votes and advertisers for money
Mark says human beings like watching tragedy
Mark quotes Denzel Washington - they don’t throw 7 year olds in jail - if it gets to “the system” it’s too late”. It’s the family, the father
Mark asks if he has an unconscious bias against black people. Suggest no and why
He describes what a racists is to him
Mark talks about his two experiences where the police drew their guns on him
Jim laughs about his three times in handcuffs. “They had the right guy all three times”
Jim says unconscious bias is a necessary survival tool
He goes on about crime in CA and it’s because of zero accountability
Mark talks about the far left and right fringes
Jim says common courtesy cuts across all groups
Both guys suggest the cities with problems have brought the problems on themselves by who they keep voting for
Mark brings up the girl recently killed in GA by an illegal immigrant
Then he talks about Riley Gaines story
Jim says this behavior is hurting women…setting them back
Mark talks about the waste in the healthcare space and the administrative burden
Jim laughs about how healthcare and utility companies can afford to put their names on stadiums
Mark ends with a suggestion - We all should ask ourselves what our unconscious biases might be before we speak, write or present to the world
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Mark starts out with the wheel and announces we will have a guest on today - Jeff Otis
He addresses the flywheel and suggests today’s “self-“ focus will be on self awareness and self confidence as it pertains to leadership
Mark tosses it to Jim and Jim talks about how we all met
Jim welcomes Jeff and Jeff says hello
Jim takes Jeff around the wheel and starts with worldview
Jeff tells us where he’s from - Beaverton OR…it’s also where he still lives
His community was tight and there were great communities and leaders
Jeff played baseball all the way thru college
As far as politics, Jeff is an independent and looks for what is practical and makes sense
Jeff started looking into what makes up a great leaders. He shares some insight about Oregon
He talks about the men in his life and sports and then he tells us about moving into work in staffing which was dominated by women. He has three daughters
Jeff talks about how important it is to pause and reflect on who you’re speaking to before speaking
Jim asks Jeff about his male role models and starts with his dad…and little league
Then Jeff names off the coaches who helped shape him. He was on 21 different championship teams!
His high school had 13 guys who went D1 or pro!
Jim shares his high school football success and speaks of the “winning culture”
Jeff reflects on being a pitcher and Jim folks about how pitchers are a bit off:)
Jim m loves on to health - Jeff shares how important mental toughness and resilient are so important
Jeff shares agin how important pausing and reflecting are
Next is money - Jeff reflects on money. “Monet kind of finds you when you need it”
Jim quotes “When I stopped chasing money and women, they started chasing me”
Jim brings Mark back into the discussion. Mark talks a bit about the work we are now doing together
Mark asks Jeff to speak further about his program that is now “our” program
Jeff discusses how we met and started to collaborate
Jim jumps in and asks Jeff about his professional journey. Jeff went in to staffing (just like Mark!)
He gets into detail about his 15 year career in staffing and his subsequent growth into the leadership space. He found that people went down 2 available forks Victim or transformation
He noticed that people needed help when they hit the wall. He went into digital marketing, his kids started to reach young adulthood, the internet became mainstream and smartphones came out
He felt compelled to help people craft their successful future selves
Jeff shares how the Project OTY evolved from this discovery and how he began to have success with young people
Jim asks Mark’s opinion - Marks talks about his kids and helping them find work and how he evolved into coaching. No one gave themselves permission to dream. Many had no purpose. Enter Jeff
What’s your unique strength, what’s your vision and how do you define success - most people seemed to struggle with all three
Jeff begins talking about how we all fit together. He describes his Project OTY “Build Your Roadmap” Program
He calls it developing that “North Star”
Jim offers up another quote - Momentum. “If you’re on a bike and you freeze, you fall down”. He shares a quick story about his daughter’s flight to Japan and how it will “off course” 99% of the time. Jeff - it’s like a guided missile
Jeff says most people want to help but many don’t know how - That’s what Jeff’s program helps with
His program takes the what and why and adds the how through his critical thinking journey
You can’t take anybody where they want to go until you help them define where they want to go, building structure and confidence
Mark pipes in with more insight about what the audience might get from the partnership and then moves into their current working plan. The program establishes a foundation, a working document for life.
Jeff - we live in a world of distractions and everyone needs a plan to get them back on track
Jim bring in the 5 W’s - Who, what, when, where and why. He quotes Thomas Sowell “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth, when you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear”
Jim cites the value of a coach…an objective third party
Jeff talks about accountability and how important it is
Mark end with how optimistic he is about the future
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Mark starts with the IMC flywheel of life
Todays topic is self respect or self dignity and how it impacts relationships
Mark says it was at the core of his divorce
“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything
He shares his thoughts about the mask mandates
Jim asks Mark to read the definitions of self-respect and self-dignity
Jim brings the wheel back in, shares the 5 categories and he lands on Relationships
Mark reflects back on his upbringing and his family’s evolution
He cites his sister’s disrespectful posture and then he shares his disagreement with his daughter about BLM
Jim applauds Mark’s ability to maintain his self-respect
Jim talks a bit about his dad’s ability to demand/maintain his self respect
Both guys suggested men are being challenged in this area all the time
Jim says when a leader caves, he can’t get that back
The guys bring childhood fighting and sports into the discussion
Then mark shares his experience with employees who give up their dignity at work
Mark tells his self respect story from 25 years ago
Jim reflects on Marks story with praise and cites his self-control too
Jim thinks the self respect issue is very different between men and woman
He shares his views on his dealings with women
Mark talks about relationships and how different they can be
Jim says “manage the crazy” and the guys have fun with it. He says we’re all “crazy”
Both guys think masculinity and femininity are being challenged and the roles are blurred
Man needs woman and woman needs man
Mark talks about his current relationship and how the roles have developed. He attributes their success to the level of dignity they both encourage each other to maintain
Jim brings crazy back up and how triggering it is - they get a few laughs
Jim talks about his wife’s reaction to “crazy”
Mark says people give up their dignity too easily. How you say things is important
Jim brings up cancel culture and how bad that is
Mark thinks the current people in power are asking us to give up our self respect
Jim brings up the shift in schools around bullying and how teachers can’t discipline anymore
Mark shares a junior high school fight story…Jim has one of his own too
Mark thinks young men are being weakened
Jim tells his story about misbehaving in class when he was young - one of the best lessons he ever received
Mark says even if you don’t feel it right away, giving up your self respect eats away at your soul
He also says that anyone who would intentionally try to take another’s self respect away is evil
Jim shares his experience with a manipulative leader who cut down students in a group he was in
Jim brings up the military and their psychological training
Mark brings up the difference - sacrificing their lives - requires a different set of rules
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Mark begins with the wheel and the concept of authenticity. You begin in the center with self and it’s fascinating how you can then connect it to all 5 areas of life
Mark tells how the topic came up in a LinkedIn connection earlier in the day
Both guys agree that bragging online about material possessions doesn’t work anymore…maybe it never did
Mark talks about how authenticity is dominating his life lately
Jim shares his viewpoint and brings AI into the conversation and how AI could potentially bring a lot of inauthentic information into the world. He expands on how we don’t really trust institutions anymore. Advertisers, brands, etc
He says you can’t fake authenticity…you’ll eventually be found out
Mark reflects on his evolution from how he communicated as a young man and how he has discovered his authenticity and feels much braver in his content creation. Authenticity has become his goal
Jim is reminded of why we named our podcast the Imperfect Mens Club
Jim suggests that authenticity is more challenging when you are younger
He talks about shedding the people who don’t serve you
Mark suggests that being authentic is risky, but it’s OK to lose people who don’t serve you
The guys bring up worldview and Mark say our “leaders” are in authentic and it has invaded most institutions
Jim bring up his mom and how she feels that it’s noisier now then ever. People in positions of power and influence can no longer be trusted
Jim calls them paid actors
Mark talks about the left going back into people’s personal accounts to find dirt
He also acknowledges that people evolve and change
They bring up Joe Rogan and Bill Maher and Jim mentions Jon Stewart
Mark says he does not demonize people, but the left does
Jim brings up Biden and how sad he is. Also all the people that defend his sanity - inauthentic
Both guys suggest that the far left develops narratives based on rumors and lies
They have fun with how inauthentic Kamal Harris is
Gavin Newsome rounds out politics and inauthenticity
Mark shifts the conversation to the topic of health, both physically and mentally
Jim reenforces the notion of “your best self” and the importance of having an authentic story - your origin story. He’s more comfortable now sharing his flaws and challenges
Mark gives Jim credit for his evolution of authenticity
Mark talks about some of his challenges
Jim brings up his revelation about Mark’s divorce story
You can get bitter or you can get better
The guys discuss transparency and the idea of doing what you say you are going to do
Mark gives his example of looking for people who do and say the same things
Jim ends with the importance of surrounding yourself with authentic people
Mark cites his more recent success on LinkedIn and how more people following him who are also trying to be authentic.
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Mark starts with a summary of the clubs philosophy and the flywheel and the 5 areas of life
He mentions his own recent battle with self doubt and can relate to middle aged men who get much of their self worth from their careers, and what happens when they are faced with a career change
Jim reiterates what we use as our foundational structure and goes into the topic of today - self doubt
Jim talks about the connection between self doubt and self worth
Mark reads a definition of self doubt from a Google search
Mark shares his most recent challenge with self doubt. He first mentions how he leaned on colleagues and friends for support
Mark shares the detail of his “big deal” and how self doubt crept in
He shares how grateful he was to have tools and resources to lean of to overcome his fears
Jim, as usual, wants to break it down
He proposes that Mark might have been in a protective mode and Mark agrees
He goes on to suggest that he probably had some subconscious drivers that he couldn’t even understand. He also shares how much of how we react is based on being in survival mode
Mark mentions his divorce and Jim says even though that was “a long time ago” it is likely still lingering and impacting his confidence
Jim share a quote - “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul”
Mark agrees and suggests that his self worth was at stake
Mark’s deal went through and he shares how cathartic the win was
He also shares his gratitude and Jim appreciates it and Mark says we don’t do anything good by ourselves
Jim observes how much work Mark did and how he took some chances. Mark relates his recruiting work to this deal and how little context he had with this project. While doing his work he got no feedback until it was go time
Jim brings up Mark’s other situation that he shut down, which opened this “other door”
Mark shares his experience with how difficult it was for him to get out of an emotionally draining situation and how it may have opened this new door because it freed up space, time and energy
You have to shed that which does not serve you
Jim shares the analogy of running with ankle weights and how it felt when you took the weights off
Mark appreciates Jim’s help and how valuable it is to have a coach and how men feel they should go it alone and how people actually are flattered when you ask for help
Self doubt leads to lower self worth and that can lead to depression and even suicide
The guys share some suicide stats
Mark says he feels like we are living in the most confusing uncertain times in his whole life
Jim brings up the notion of having a “second act” in life when your primary career comes to an end
Mark brings in the context of worldview and how much noise there is in the world. He shares his gratitude for having tools available to him to overcome self doubt and fear
Jim explains the reason for starting the club - a place to go for men to share and support each other
Mark explains the difference between safe spaces and this safe space
Jim talks about how we speak with ourselves so critically and how the media makes all this worse
Mark agrees about how much media and politicians mislead and scare to divide
Jim brings up the discovery around electric cars and the guys add in the solar, wind and climate change hoaxes
Mark talks about how he moves from “I don’t know” to either knowing or dismissing an issue
They wrap up with how important contribution is and Mark ends with how self awareness was triggered and then how he reacted to get better and not bitter
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Mark starts reflecting on how we both had recent communications with 30 year olds and how different they operate and communicate than we do. Generational differences
Jim laughs about his encounter…”return your fucking phone calls…I don’t understand it Mark”
Mark frames the technology aspect of communication. We had none of the technology…no cell phones, social media, etc..
Jim shares his opinion about how younger people feel we speak too much and they prefer to text
He also believes everyone is trying to avoid conversation and we miss so much when we don’t talk
He predicts that intimate conversation. Will be in much higher demand as technology discourages it (AI)
Mark shares the importance of context and immediate feedback (physical, energy, body language)
He connects the increase in anxiety and depression in younger people to this disconnection
Mark believes he’ll be more self aware of these generational differences
Jim brings his mind map into the discussion and breakdown generational differences
Mark has a current client that consists of people in their late 20’s and 30’s
Jim gets specific about Generation Y characteristics and seminal events (housing crash and Sept 11th). Student debt for 43% of this age group
Mark suggests that every generation has had it’s challenges and that victimhood has become a norm
Jim goes into detail about Generational details
The guys talk about the stark differences between being kid in Florida versus California
They go into detail about the impact of COVID on young people
Wars, open borders and other conflicts
Mark asks Jim if he felt anxious as a kid - not really - we were outdoors
They joke about “playdates” and walking/not walking to school
Mark talks about speaking differently to different generations
Jim says he was more mad at himself for tolerating the behavior of the younger person than the bad behavior
How do you speak accurately without being a dick
Jim cites the difference between “nice” and “kind” - the value of candor
Mark cites evil people who are fake nice and fake compassionate
Can you be too candid?
It’s better to be feared than liked - Mark uses the word respected
They dig into the fear concept
Mark talks about guilt as an accountability tool
Jim talks about football coaches
Mark says he feared his dad - letting him down and/or being held accountable
The guys refer back to their previous guest who claimed to no longer seek his fathers approval
Jim talks about his dad passing
Mark talks about his dad’s generation - 95 years old - His daughter videoed him for 12 hours over 3 years
Jim reminds us how we are the product of our 4 grandparents
They talk about becoming different people over time
Jim talks about his Rugby days and how he struggled to not bring that intense personality home as a dad and husband
They both talked about being intimidating
Jim shares feedback from the high school football coaches he talks to that most young men don’t seem to want to lead
Mark talks about leadership and responsibility…and being the jury foreman
Mark’s take on being responsible for other people’s lives
Both guys talk about not needing to be the leader anymore and Mark says there are 3 types of people
Jim ends with what he likes about the younger generations
Mark shares his concern about the younger generations - anxiety and confusion
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For the first time the guys have a guest !
Carl Lane is a childhood friend of Jim’s. They co-captained their high school football team, met at 14 years old and remain great friends today. Carl went on to play college football at Oregon State and has had great success as an entrepreneur and logistics expert
It’s a great interview and we all had fun
Mark begins with the flywheel foundation
Jim introduces Carl, who also is a listener and fan of the podcast
Carl talks about what he’s doing professionally
Carl trained top performing athletes for 6 years
Jim asks Carl about his views on health and Carl talks about his struggle with depression after retiring from sports. He shares his desire to lead a healthy life forever - hot yoga and running
Jim asks Carl to talk about his health scare - testicular issues and how he overcame it
Jim opens up a discussion about relationships. Carl shares his views on relationships and begins with his daughter. The he cites how important his mom and grandma were in his upbringing
He says he no longer seeks approval from his dad
Jim asks Mark about his daughters and being mom and dad and how important our daughters are
Next up is money - abundant or scarce and how money drives behavior
Carl talks about how we change as we grow - he’s no longer a slave to money
He talks a bit about having no excuses
Jim moves into worldview and the impact of childhood - who raised us and how they raised us
Carl shares stories about his grandparents and parents and brings in his professional athletic connections - uncle, cousin and son
Jim and Carl share how and when they met and how their friendship grew. How important football was in both their lives. Both guys cite how different coaches influenced their success
Jim and Carl continue to develop the story of their friendship and family growing
Mark cites how we all have the same challenges as middle aged men
Carl wants to be a cheerleader for the IMC
Jim - “what the world needs now more than anything is wisdom”
Jim tells his story about hitting Carl in practice and how the coach lost his shit - Jim had to run laps
Carl shares his story about the first time he went to Jim’s house and the other perspective having been friends with Huey Newton’s son
He states how focusing on what we have in common we can accomplish great things
Carl shares his experience first meeting Jim’s mom and dad
Jim brings the group into CEI and it gets interesting
Each of the guys have different opinions because they have different childhoods and upbringings
Carl talks a bit more about his football experience and how important performance and merit are
Jim brings up spirituality and Carl shares his journey and how different it is today from how he was raised
He felt nobody could answer him when he didn’t see any black people in the Last Supper—“I couldn’t ask about that”
Jim switches to politics and Carl shares how he was thinking in preparation for this interview. His sides are right and wrong. He doesn’t pick a side. He waits and listens. He’s interested in the community and shares some of his service to his various communities
Carl and Jim are in agreement that K-12 is socialism and then they get released into capitalism
Carl reflects on watching Jim develop his craft and his dyslexia and then Carl brings up his stuttering problem. Are these disadvantages or simple last whistle”ly obstacles to over come. It’s a choice
Jim brings up “The last bell and the last whistle”
Carl brings up his recent work with one of the largest high schools in Charlotte
Carl ends with how he really wants to be a part of this club
Mark shares about how important it is to disagree, get along and continue to explore
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Mark frames the episode about DEI
Self - Worldview - Politics - Conservative - DEI
Mark reads the definition of DEI
Jim gives his take on Worldview and shares his addiction to YouTube videos
Mark reads the definition of equity and says that life is not fair
Jim says “who gets to decide what is fair…thought police
Jim says we’ve been compromised and it’s a plan to divide us into groups
The only way to ruin a country is from the inside
Jim talks about the 2020 election in the context of George Floyd and BLM and the propaganda around it
Jim shares thoughts from some cop friends about standing down from crimes
Mark talks about propaganda and how it works
Mark says sports and companies don’t function equitability
He shares some of his upbringing
Jim cites his referent to George Floyd and groupthink
Jim talks about how he grew up in a very diverse neighborhood and never saw color as an issue
Mark’s town was all white and his perspective is quite different
He talks about human nature and root cause - the home and the schools
Jim shares some frustration with DEI
Mark goes back to sports and how the liberal manipulates the numbers/ratio
Mark asks what he thinks the end game
The guys tease each other a bit about groupthink
Jim tells a story about his big sisters article about MLK and how disappointed he would be today
Mark states when you divide you can control
Mark reflects on diversity of thought
Jim tells a story about a sportscaster friend and how sports brings people together
Mark tells a Chicago basketball story
Then he tells his aviation story about DEI and how the damage DEI causes is incremental
How DEI will eventually collapse because it doesn’t work
Jim asks Mark if there is any benefit to DEI?
Everyone has been discriminated against and that the market will fix any imbalance
The guys ask if any progress has been made since civil rights
Jim tells his tory about presidential museums - LBJ’s in particular - LBJ’s discussions with MLK recordings and the Malcom X recording - “Don’t trust the foxy white liberals” - 1965
Mark ends with Frederick Douglas - “Leave us alone”
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Mark starts with some info about the structure of the IMC “Club”
He transitions to speaking of “Self” and how it all starts there
Mark lists the 5 areas and talks about subtopics radiating out from the center, the self
He asks Jim about what happens when he brings up our flywheel
Im tells our origin story. “Don’t be frustrated, be fascinated”
Then he opens up about a trip to England to watch a rugby match - the club
Men only clubs allow very different private conversations
Different dynamic for men-only clubs
He talks about being dyslexic and how his way of viewing the world is so different from mine
People like to talk about themselves
Mark tells his story about the Orlando Country Club and the mens locker room
Getting a bunch of guys with similar outlooks together to talk about life - very cool
Jim mentions the importance of being with like-minded people
Jim uses his hand and fingers for the flywheel framework - it all starts with :self:
Mark starts with the self-hyphen phrases beginning with self awareness
Jim reads the definition
Mark talks about self awareness and how victimhood is the opposite
Next is self-evaluation the self accountability - executionMark talks about incremental change and how most people drop New Years resolutions because of impatience waiting for incremental progress
The guys are planning to have an assessment to qualify members
Jim respects self accountable guys
Mark talks about having drinks with Miles - one of his best friends
When you are your best self, you lift up everyone around you
Jim takes on self-identity
Both guys tout the value of authenticity and talk about how scary it can be
It’s reinforcement and reps
Jim brings up self control and talks about having to stop watching YouTube videos and Mark gave up bread and cheese
Mark talks about the value of an agent, a coach, a group in expediting performance improvement with objectivity and candor
The guys discuss control and discipline
Then they discuss self-talk and how important it is to be kind to ourselves and how bad we talk to ourselves
Self worth and self respect
Self gratification gets a few laughs
Mark cites the difference between pleasure and joy and then comments on guilt
Mark talks about his Catholic faith
Mark talks about cutting out the redundancies and creating the assessment for the “Club”
Mark talks about the formation of the resources and process of building the club
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Mark starts with his definition of “Agency” and how he has worked as an agent as a recruiter
How personal things got when finding work for someone
Jim brings up real estate agents
Mark share his relationship approach
Jim talks about his agency in the cabinet business
Jim tells the story of his friend who managed the Seattle Mariners. How the young pitcher didn’t negotiate his 35 million dollar deal…his agent did
Mark goes back to positioning the framework flywheel and the 5 key areas of life and the self
Mark reads the definition of agency from the dictionary
Mark talks more about how he acted as an agent as a recruiter
Jim talks about artists and athletes who’ve been abused by agents
He shares some stories about his real estate buddies and how valuable they are
Mark explains where that value lies
Jim expresses his perceived value of agents
The guys talk about attorney agency
Mark lays out agency in the 5 key areas of life
Jim disagrees and talks about how coaches shouldn’t get personal
Mark speaks to the difference between Jim and Mark’s positions
Jim speaks to the difference between agency and mentorship
Mark speaks about the difference life experiences between Mark and Jim
Mark brings up how important qualifying clients is and Jim concurs
…there has to b e alignment between agent and client
Mark tells how Jim has acted as his agent and vice versa
Jim thinks friends and family are often too close to be objective
Jim reminds us how important objectivity is
Mark appreciates being helped with his tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt
Jim brings up business agents and how you don’t even need to like him, just respect and trust him
Jim brings up his Patent attorney story
Mark wants strong expertise and integrity
Jim brings the difference between integrity and morality…murderers murder….integrity, not morality
Mark talks about what separates the guys from the competition
Jim brings up self awareness again and how you have to do the work
Mark relates his leadership work with another client and the assessment piece of that process
Progress is made incrementally. Practice over time. Accountability
Jim speaks to the value of having someone else to hold you accountable
Mark says the best coaches have coaches
We can’t make people ready but we can help people who are ready
Jim brings up depression. With our help, optimism, a plan and advice we might help people avoid that darkness
To be your best self while the world changes
Mark relates his career coaching call from earlier and how much of his teaching comes from his failures
Jim engages with the time of year and reassessing life. He speaks to the importance of a system, a framework
Jim likes his quotes “The only thing worse than no hope is false hope”
The only thing worse than no advice is bad advice”
Mark says it’s what makes the guys unique - wisdom
The guys end in agreement on who to get advice from
They end with imperfect and club (authentic and community)
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Mark begins with revisiting the framework of our program. The center of the flywheel and the radiant thinking that moves out from center to the 5 areas of life and todays podcast is about the 5th and final area…Others. People and relationships
Mark transitions to how events like Covid have made human contact and relationships even more important than ever
Jim tells a story about Christmas dinner with 10 family memebers at which they practice 2 traditions. First they go around the table and everyone makes his “Declaration” for the year 2024 and second “what are you hopeful for”. Jim committed himself to “putting it out there” even though not everyone is going to like it
He hopes we become America first again. Lead with being an American and not a group
He spoke of his Latino family never identifying as Latino first. They were Americans who were also Latino
Mark agrees and says it’s a joke that we even have to talk about this
Then Mark brings up the Harvard Study Of Men and Happiness Article Here
Relationships was the number one contribution to happiness. Purpose was number 2
Mark shares some context about the study and how rich and accurate the data is after 85 years!
Jim brings our flywheel of life into the discussion. He explains out “others” category
Mark talks ab out his dad’s family of eleven children and some of the conflict that existed there
Jim relates the Others category to the other 4 and shows again that each area affects the other 4…and it’s all about self awareness
Mark brings up his eldest brother being a pilot, in part, because his father was a pilot
Jim says we’re all the products of 4 people…both sets of grandparents…whether you know them of not
Mark talks about interested his eldest daughter is in learning about her ancestry
Jim claims he’s gotten more interested in his ancestry as he’s gotten older. Then he talks about his grandparents from Switzerland
Jim then talks about getting to know his father really well after his passing during the settlement of his estate (very interesting). He finishes with the importance of figuring out your own self through your understanding of your ancestry
Mark shares his opinion on self awareness and how it benefits relationship
Jim begins to talk about men and women and shares that everyone is not the same. Men and women are different
Mark asks Jim how many women friends he has that aren’t the wives of his or his wife’s friends:)
Jim admits that he has no female friends but that his kids do have friends of the opposite sex that they’ve not had sex with…and he feels this is progress. Mark agrees that his kids are the same and that this is mostly good. Progress. But things like polygamy are not sustainable
Jim revisits his female influencers…his mom was great
Mark shares the same about his mom
Jim shares his discovery at about 10 that he was dyslexic. He talks about being publicly humiliated and his mean ugly older female teacher. He became anti authority and distrusts older ugly women:)
Mark acknowledges that that kind of treatment will leave a scar and likely create an anger over time. Jim agrees and then brings up his young hot teacher who had the opposite effect
The guys laugh at movies from the 80’s and how thy could never be made today. Mark brings up Mel Brooks
Jim shifts the discussion to men and then speaks about the value of good friends…they anchor you and call you on your shit
Mark shares that because he moved when he was 26 that most of his friendships are from 26 on, but they are solid 20 plus year relationships nonetheless.
Jim asks Mark about his grandfathers and Mark shares his recollections, then Jim asks Mark about whether he has different relationships with his daughters and his son. Mark shares that his relationships are quite different
Both guys share insights about their daughters and how we go from teaching them to getting taught by them
Jim shares a story about losing his dad and talking to his friend about losing his. How losing your dad can be empowering as an adult…you get permission to no longer have to impress him
Jim reflects on a discussion with his daughter about how he has evolved as a man, a dad and that he was different when she was a child
Jim concludes with a story about his involvement in a high level 3 day coaching program “Landmark Forum?” Some cool exercises about communicating with your father or mother and discovering hidden agendas and misunderstandings
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Episode 30 Money
Mark again leads with the foundational structure of our approach and the 5 key areas of life
Today we talk about money
Jim revisits his exercise of creating “self” phrases and talking with his good friend about self awareness
Then he starts talking about money and how it breaks up relationships
He says there are two types of people - they don’t have money, but act like they do…and those that have money and pretend they don’t
Mark talks about having money and then losing it all. Happiness was never connected to having or not having money
Why do we get so emotional about money if it doesn’t matter? Self awareness is the key
Jim revisits how our childhood shapes us and he talks about his upbringing and his parents attitude about money. Good stories about vacations
Jim talks about his neighborhood and how diverse it was. Poor and rich people
Mark talks about his hometown and the two different sides of the tracks and his parents attitude about money. Good people are good and bad people are bad…money isn’t a factor
Jim talks about how money is necessary and can bring you pleasure
Mark distinguishes between pleasure and joy. Joy comes from within
The guys talk about earned versus inherited money and the conflicts inherited money creates between siblings and family
Jim tells his story about looking for cheaper gas when he doesn’t need the money. Childhood habits that he’s stuck with
Mark shares his gas prices story and how our minds can fuck with us regarding money
Jim starts talking about money and relationships
Mark talks about his ex and money and how she clung to money
Mark talks about his hometown and his experience at Notre Dame
Again…inherited versus earned. Generational wealth
Mark distinguishes between employees with big budgets and entrepreneurs
Both guys talk about their parents views about money
Jim shares his dads various investment accounts left behind upon his passing
Mark talks about his childhood experiences with money and his attitude about eating out with friends
Jim says “I’m a cheap bastard”
Jim tells his “Jew” story
Mark talks about the difference between men and women and waiting on them as a waiter
Jim shares his opinions on money being used to manipulate and Mark brings up his ex again in the context of manipulation and the kids
Jim starts to connect the impact money has on the other 4 key area of life
Mark shares his story of recovering from losing everything…monetarily
Mark talks about Charles Barkley and Shaq. Less is more
Jim jumps in with - how much is too much
Mark talks about his kids success and how money complicates things
Jim shares his story of buying his first house and how it had a shed in the back where Jim could make cabinets too. How we both eat what we kill
How self aware are we about how we let money drive us
- Visa fler
