Avsnitt
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One in four adults are estranged from their parents, so says one 2022 study. According to
another study 11% of mothers ages 65 – 75 with two or more grown children were estranged
from at least one of them. Most of the time, the seeds for these conflicts were planted during
the growing up years of the young adults. Gaye Clark, who is the author of Loving Your Adult
Children, The Heartache of Parenting and the Hope of the Gospel talks to Sharon Betters about
the seeds of these conflicts and how parents can navigate these tumultuous relationships,
starting with personal repentance. This conversation shines a spotlight on the hearts of the
parent, not with condemnation, but with instruction on how to respond with kindness rather
than anger, gentleness rather than wrath. Gaye challenges listeners to consider carefully and
prayerfully how to reflect the fruit of the Spirit in a way that invites an estranged child to “taste
and see that the Lord is good”.Support the Show.
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Do these words haunt you: "Mom, Dad, I don't want your rules and morals. I don't want to act like a Christian anymore! And I'm not going to," Barbara Juliani (then Barbara Miller) made this declaration at the age 18. As her father desperately attempted to reason with her, Barbara grew more resentful, choosing a path of immorality that only deepened her parents' pain.
Such a declaration from a child, no matter their age, creates havoc and soul-searching in the hearts of their parents, who often ask, “What did I do wrong?”
In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson, Barbara Juliani shares her story and addresses some of the ways parents take on the guilt of their children and responsibility for their decisions. You might be surprised by some of her conclusions. Her dad, Jack Miller wrote:
"I am not ignorant of human depravity," writes C. John Miller, "but I had long denied that it could exist in our family." That reality, however, forced him to confront his own sin, seek forgiveness, admit his inability to change his wayward daughter, and begin loving Barbara on God's terms.
In their book, Come Back, Barbara, "Jack" Miller and Barbara Miller Juliani chronicle their journey from grief and conflict to joyful reconciliation. Come Back, Barbara is thus an irresistible portrayal of God's grace to the Millers and us all. Our conversation with Barbara reminds broken-hearted parents about the freedom of experiencing such grace in the midst of their child’s rebellion.
Help & Hope Story: Motherhood, Shame & Guilt with Barbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson
For more about Barbara’s journey as a prodigal child, check out Come Back, Barbara. Come Back, Barbara
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“So who am I now that there’s only one place at the table….one pillow with a head dent, one towel damp after a shower? There’s only one toothbrush in the holder. The seat is never left up anymore. I can still write Mrs. in front of my name, but I’m no longer in a marriage relationship. You need two people for a marriage, and there’s only me.” These words, written by our guest, Gayle Roper, capture the longing of every widow. Has a widowed friend ever said, “I wish you could understand the loneliness…..how every minute I’m reminded I’m alone…how I long for my husband’s touch, his protection, sitting across the table eating, watching a movie together, going for an evening walk, running errands….I’m so alone.” And you wish you could understand, too, but you can’t. This conversation between Gayle Roper and Sharon Betters is not only for the widow but for those who love her. Gayle gives us a tender glimpse into the daily life of a widow, what a widow can do after her husband dies that will help her find a new level of normal, how the scriptures met her in some of the most mundane yet painful moments, remarriage and much more. The widow will know she has a friend in Gayle, and her friends will be better equipped to come alongside of her.
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In this wide-ranging interview between two mothers who have experienced the grief of the deaths of their children, Nancy Guthrie transparently answers questions asked by Sharon Betters. From how to push the question “why” through the grid of God’s love and sovereignty to practical counsel for protecting marriages assaulted by grief, Nancy doesn’t flinch. Nancy’s loss of two children uniquely qualifies her to offer help and hope in sorrow’s darkest night. No matter how shattered the heart, there is hope in the midst of grief.
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Someone has said there are only two sure things in life – death and taxes. While this is meant to be funny, the part about death is true. Each one of us will die, yet not many of us intentionally prepare for that unique part of our journey. In this conversation, Elizabeth Turnage, author of Preparing for Glory, talks to Sharon Betters about the “art of dying”. Elizabeth answers questions like: How does Jesus show us how to prepare ourselves and our loved ones for our death; how do we say “enough” to medical intervention; what information and documents we should prepare for when we are incapacitated or die; how to leave an emotional legacy, intentionally forgiving and pursuing forgiveness, thanking those who have impacted our lives and much more.
This is not an easy topic, but death is the “elephant in the room” and Elizabeth puts a map in our hands to help us navigate this difficult pathway.Support the Show.
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After trying everything she could to stop her slide into a dark depression, young mother Christine Chappell tearfully told her husband she needed help and admitted herself to a facility. In her book, Midnight Mercies, Walking with God through Depression in Motherhood, Christine describes this heartbreaking season but does not leave us in the dark. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Christine transparently tells how depression strangled her and drove her to a point of hopelessness – and yet, the Lord did not abandon her. Christine and Sharon talk about the emotions of depression and how one leads to the next, how God responded differently to each person in scripture who experienced depression, some of the causes of depression in motherhood, and how our culture encourages us to declare, “I got this!” vs. “Help, Lord!” Christine offers practical steps we can take in battling depression and how friends can come alongside a hurting friend. Whether your depression is mild or severe, this conversation will act as a first responder, helping you take a deep breath and whisper as Christine says in Chapter 2 of Midnight Mercies, “When I feel weary of the hardships in my life, and nothing I do seems to make a difference, I will rest in the fact that God has not called me to accomplish an outcome but to take my next feeble step of faith in obedience to him.”
Author of: Midnight Mercies, Walking with God through Depression in MotherhoodSupport the Show.
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In this moving and sometimes emotional conversation, Sharon Betters talks to Susanna Musser and her friend and counselor, Heidi Scott, about the sudden, accidental death of Susanna’s adopted son, Tommy. Susanna and husband Joe and their entire family welcomed Tommy into their home even though he had severe disabilities. No strangers to raising a child with disabilities, Tommy quickly experienced unconditional love. Yet God often calls us to hard places that are much more difficult than we expected. Through circumstances no one could have imagined, Tommy died. Susanna, with the help of her counselor, Heidi, shares the story of her family, her passion for adoption of children with special needs and the enormous struggle she experienced in trying to reconcile Tommy’s death while carrying self-imposed guilt no parent should experience. This conversation will not only encourage others in similar places, but will give listeners a renewed understanding of the burdens some parents bear and how to help them.
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Do you have questions about same-sex attraction? Is it wrong? Is it ok? Are you struggling with same-sex attraction personally? Is your child?
Chuck and I recently had the privilege of asking these questions and many more of Dr. Rosaria Butterfield, nationally known speaker and author of
Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert
Dr. Butterfield's down to earth, compassionate, common sense and biblical approach to same-sex attraction resulted in a conversation that we wish everyone could hear.
We live in a culture that challenges us to reexamine long held convictions and decide if what we believe is really scriptural or culturally based. None of us wants to be on the wrong side of the issue of same-sex attraction. People we love and respect are making choices that beg for acceptance and compassion. What must our response be? Chuck and I had the unique privilege of asking this and much more of Rosaria. We hope many will listen with an open heart and mind, hungry for truth, and conclude there are solid biblical answers.Support the Show.
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Pam Benton started noticing small changes in her pastor husband. Though Wilson had retired, he had agreed to serve as interim pastor in another church for eighteen months. Eighteen months turned into five years. Pam’s concerns grew when Wilson started using notes for his sermons. Since both of their mothers had Alzheimers, Pam and Wilson did not hesitate to get their doctor’s opinion, hoping for a simple answer, but knowing Alzheimers was not unlikely.
In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Pam describes how a diagnosis has changed the direction of their plans for retirement, how important it is to get an early diagnosis and the way the Lord has grown her faith. Pam’s children told her that in spite of a lifetime of ministry, this season of life is perhaps the most important as she models for them how to love their dad well in what many call the long goodbye.Support the Show.
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Relationships can be so hard and sometimes painful. Are they worth it? What are some of the pitfalls of relationships? How can our expectations of others sabotage our relationships? When someone we care about disappoints us, and they will, what questions should we be willing to ask ourselves to determine how to proceed?How can God use disappointments and broken relationships for our good?Is there ever a time to just walk away? Sharon Betters asks Ellen Dykas these questions and more. All of us struggle with relationships. We know this conversation will encourage and equip you to not only understand yourself better but how to navigate what can sometimes be a scary minefield.
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The week the Covid sheltering in place began, Barbara Thompson and her husband, Mark, moved from Louisiana, where they had lived for most of their lives, to Mississippi. Barbara and Mark desire is to finish and age with grace. They now live near their son and his family. Caregiving for Barbara’s parents was a ministry priority until her mother and father both passed away in August 2020. Barbara’s great joy is to, as she defines it, “sit on the bleachers” for women - praying, listening, connecting, and rejoicing as these women grow in grace. She’s a proud “spiritual mother” and rejoices to have a part in God’s work among us, through us and in us. Barbara is intentional about connecting with her grandchildren and even learning to listen to the music they love.
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We all want to be beautiful and successful. Often this desire pushes us off a cliff into concluding we are never enough. And sometimes these feelings lead us into addictions in our pursuit of beauty and success. At least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the United States. Perhaps you are one of them or you know someone suffering from an eating disorder. In this Help & Hope interview Sarah Ivill, talks with Sharon Betters about her own struggle with an eating disorder and how it reflected her view that she was never enough. But an eating disorder is not the only addiction resulting from feeling inadequate. With great compassion, Sarah discusses some of the lies that feed into the feeling that we are never enough, the need to get to the root of the lies and how an eating disorder is an addiction that can take a long time to break. Though you may have no experience with an eating disorder, the truths that Sarah shares apply to any place in our lives where we feel we are not enough.
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We live in an anti-aging culture – subtle and not so subtle messages convince us aging is bad – do everything you can to hang on to youth. But no matter how hard we try, our bodies continue to age. Susan Hunt and Sharon Betters co-authored a book, Aging with Grace, Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture because we believe our Creator, God, promises we will flourish in our old age. At the end of each chapter, a woman at least 70 years of age tells her story of what flourishing in old age looks like for her. Go to agingwithgrace.online to watch the five-minute videos of each of these storytellers answering a question about flourishing in an anti-aging culture. One of those storytellers is Dianne Balch. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Dianne Balch honestly discusses aging in a season of losses, how to grieve that loss but also flourish as we surrender to God’s purposes and walk by faith, even though our hearts ache for what was.
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Infertility, ministry conflict, chronic pain – experiencing just one of these life crises can be all consuming. But all of them at the same time – and more? How does a woman not just survive, but thrive? Glenna Marshall, author of The Promise is His Presence, Why God is Always Enough, joins Sharon Betters to share her journey that has taken her to some very broken places. But as you will hear, she discovered priceless treasures as she struggled to make sense of it all.
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Imagine taking on the responsibility as CEO of a failing business – not just any business but a corporation that was inches from being closed forever. In this conversation, Pastor Chuck L. Betters talks with Skip Schoenhals, the man who led WSFS Financial Corporation from the brink of failure to being the leading independent bank serving the greater Philadelphia and Delaware region with a local presence and national subsidiaries. Skip readily admits his faith in Jesus guided every aspect of this daunting journey and gave him help and hope at his lowest points. Skip freely shares how his challenging personal journey helped prepare him for the battle to save a corporation that is now 190 years old.
Skip chronicles his journey in his book, From Failing to Phenomenal, and in this conversation with Chuck, discusses behind the scenes events in his nail-biting battle but also biblical principles of business that will help equip listeners to lead their own companies in a way that glorifies God.
Author: From Failing to PhenomenalSupport the Show.
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When Clarissa Moll’s young husband Rob she soon realized she was a crossroads. Would she walk toward hope or slide into hopelessness? In this conversation with Sharon Betters Clarissa answers such questions as:
Is there any way to prepare for such a tragedy? Are there stages for grief? What kind of work can grief do in our hearts that grows the fruit of the spirit? How is it helpful to “welcome” an emotion like fear – how does dissecting an emotion help us keep those emotions in check – or should we even try to keep them in check? What about regrets? Either for our own behavior or bitterness toward the one who died? How do we find freedom from guilt? How is a child’s grief journey different than an adult’s and how can we help them grieve in their own way? What about wrestling with God? What are some scriptures that acknowledge the sorrow of a broken heart? How can grief become an old familiar friend?
And many more. This conversation will not only encourage the bereaved but help those who love them be better equipped to walk the path of grief with them.Support the Show.
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Andrea Herzer, a woman well acquainted with long-term debilitating health issues, having spent the last twenty years with multiple illnesses, including regional pain syndrome and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, joins Sharon Betters for this Help & Hope podcast. Numerous times Andrea experienced moments of hope only to have it dashed by another diagnosis, another setback. Certainly, her heart was a fertile place for bitterness and anger to grow. Yet, in Andrea, you are going to meet a woman who discovered incurable faith and a longing to share that pathway to life with others suffering from pain and life-debilitating diagnoses. Through her suffering, the Lord has brought a beautiful source of encouragement in her book, Incurable Faith, 120 Devotionals of Lasting Hope for Lingering Health Issues.
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Abuse, deep loss, broken relationships, grief, self-inflicted pain – is it possible to experience healing from a painful past? Lauren Whitman, author of A Painful Past – Healing and Moving Forward, answers this question and much more. For instance, why would anyone want to dig up their past? Isn’t it better to “let sleeping dogs lie”? Can we forgive and forget? How does our view of God influence our journey toward healing? How do you know when to ask a counselor for help? And how does having a counselor make the journey a little clearer? If you or someone you know is struggling with a painful past, please listen and then share the good news – there is hope and a way to move forward.
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“A silver wave is coming,” says author and speaker Elizabeth Turnage. Baby boomers are facing the hardest challenge of their lives – how to die well. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Elizabeth challenges listeners to take steps now to make it easier for loved ones after they die. Elizabeth shares how her dad died without any intentional preparation of affairs or instructions for his children. She compares his response to death, to her mother’s and how she prepared a folder of important papers and instructions with a list of 5 steps to immediately take upon her death. Elizabeth describes how her mother’s intentional preparation was such a gift to her as she grieved her mother’s sudden death. Elizabeth acknowledges the grief we experience as we begin this process. She encourages us to imagine the relief of our children, who, in the middle of their own grief, know how to honor us in our death. She admits there is grief when we are preparing others for when we are not here, practical ideas for sorting through precious belongings, how to distribute them when our children are not interested, and giving the gift of “all expenses paid” funeral plans. Along with, how to deal with the distribution of your estate when you are reluctant to give to a child who does not share your values.
Elizabeth is so passionate about helping us intentionally prepare for this last step of life, that she offers a course called Organizing Your Life and Legacy.
https://www.elizabethturnage.com/Support the Show.
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Listen as Pastor Chuck L. Betters interviews Darby Strickland, a biblical counselor who specializes in helping victims of abuse. For years, Darby has served women in oppressive marriages. With her new book, “Is it Abuse?” she writes to anyone who wants to help, regardless of their level of experience. In this podcast, Darby and Chuck discuss her new book and how to identify the toxic entitlement that drives abusive behavior and to better understand its impact on victims. Darby and Chuck discuss how churches can better minister to abuse victims, especially in the context of church leadership. Darby shares with us how to become equipped to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel, empowering while advocating for victims and navigating the complex dynamics of oppression in a marriage.
Author of the book: Is It Abuse?
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- Visa fler
