Avsnitt
-
For many gay men, our relationship with our dad is one of the most defining- and least talked about. In this episode, we explore the nuances of our relationships with our fathers through three core questions:
How did your dad react when you came out?How do you express your gayness around him today?Does being gay impact the level of intimacy you have with your dad?From there, we go deeper into family dynamics, cultural expectations, and the different expressions of love and acceptance between fathers and their gay sons. We get into physical affection between fathers and sons, how much access we give them into our lives, and the boundaries we set as adults.
We also explore how these early relationships can shape the kinds of men we’re attracted to… and the patterns we carry into dating and relationships.
This is a grounded, honest conversation about the often complex and layered relationship between fathers and sons.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Going Deeper: The Daddy Issue(00:01:47) - Did Gay Men Need Daddies?(00:03:20) - How Did My Dad React To My Coming Out?(00:07:49) - How Did My Dad React To My Coming Out?(00:10:18) - Reno On Not Bringing Up Gay Issues With His Father(00:14:24) - When My Gay Friend Comes Out(00:14:43) - How Did My Dad React To Coming Out?(00:18:53) - Coming Out To My Dad(00:20:52) - How Do You Describe Your Gayness To Your Dad?(00:27:38) - How Do I Feel Representing My Gayness To My Dad?(00:31:14) - How My Parents Accept My Gay Love Life(00:33:37) - Do You Hold Back Your Gayness When You're Around Your Dad(00:37:56) - Adam Levine on Father-Son Conferences(00:42:40) - Does Being Gay Impact How You Experience Intimate Touch With Your Dad(00:45:32) - Does Being Gay Impact How I Experience Intimate With My Dad?(00:47:52) - Michael Jackson on His Dad's Love(00:51:09) - We Love You, Dads -
A lot of gay men take pride in being independent, self-sufficient and in control. But is there a shadow side? When the time comes to let someone in, ask for support, or even rely on others—it feels uncomfortable, exposing, even threatening.
In this episode, we explore the spectrum between dependence, co-dependence, independence, hyper-independence, and interdependence—and why so many gay men get stuck at the far end of doing life alone. We talk about:
What hyper-independence actually is (and why it’s so common)The fear of losing yourself, your freedom, or your identityWhy intimacy feels harder than being aloneHow this shows up in dating, relationships, and asking for supportWhat it looks like to move toward interdependence (secure attachment)This isn’t about becoming dependent. It’s about learning how to find a happy middle ground where you can let someone in without losing yourself or pulling further away.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: How to Let People In(00:01:14) - What is Dependency and Independence?(00:03:34) - Guys Who Are Hyper Independent or Codependent(00:04:54) - Cocodependent and Secure Attachment: How Do You Know(00:08:04) - How to Grow Up With Someone (Gay Men)(00:10:49) - Insecure Attachment and The Fear That(00:13:38) - What Are Some Boundaries That You Have For Yourself?(00:15:23) - What's the Hardest Part of Learning To Trust Again?(00:17:06) - How Anxious Attachers Get Out Of Conflict(00:18:45) - How To Start Moving Toward Interdependence(00:20:21) - Can An Avoidant Attachment Style Overcorrect Into Becoming Cod(00:24:59) - How to Cope With Anxious Partner(00:27:54) - The Importance of Living With Your Partner(00:30:44) - How To Overcome The Fear Of Disappointment During Relationships(00:34:35) - Gay Men Talk About Being Independent -
Saknas det avsnitt?
-
There’s something unique about friendships between gay and straight men. They often feel easy, natural, and unexpectedly intimate.
In this episode, we explore the unique reasons why gay and straight men are drawn towards each other. From male bonding and emotional intimacy to validation, and the freedom to drop the “rules” of being a man, these friendships often offer something both sides aren’t getting elsewhere.
We unpack:
Why gay men are drawn to straight men… and what they representWhy straight men feel safe, open, and even curious around gay menHow masculinity is shifting in 2026… and where these friendships fitWhat each side gives the other and how we balance each other outThis isn’t about hookups or labels. It’s about what men are craving, and what that reveals about modern masculinity.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gaming Going Deeper(00:00:59) - Gay Men On Straight Men's Friendship(00:04:43) - Why Do Gay Men Are Attracted To Straight Men?(00:06:55) - Gay Hockey Players Play With Straight Guys(00:08:41) - Why Are You Attracted To Straight Male Friends?(00:13:32) - Straight Men On The Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:17:46) - Gay Men's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:18:28) - Why Are Straight Men Drawn To Gay Men?(00:22:43) - Damon on Why Gay Men Are Drawn to Him(00:23:50) - Straight Men Are Desperate For Sex(00:26:45) - Broke Male Podcast: Permission To Be You(00:31:41) - "It's Okay to Hug Your Gay Father"(00:33:11) - Gay Men Going Deep(00:33:48) - Gay Men Want More Sexual Closeness(00:39:15) - Straight Men Talk About Gay Bars(00:41:46) - Set Free Your Gay Men!(00:43:12) - Going Deep: Gay Men's Brotherhood -
We’ve all dealt with them. And maybe we’ve probably been one too…
In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on beneath hate. Not just online trolls or obvious critics, but the subtle ways judgment, resentment, and animosity show up in everyday life.
We explore:
Why people hate in the first place (and why it’s rarely about you)The difference between healthy disagreement and actual hateHow hate often masks insecurity, unmet expectations, or avoidanceWhat it actually costs you to be a haterAnd how to deal with haters without shrinking, proving, or losing yourselfThis isn’t about pretending to be positive or “above it.” It’s about understanding psychology so you don’t get pulled into it, or unconsciously become part of it.
️ Connection Circle: Your Coming Out Process
If this episode resonates, join Matt for a live Connection Circle. This is an opportunity to share your story, be witnessed without judgment, and begin releasing the parts of you that learned it wasn’t safe to be fully authentic. You don’t have to carry it alone anymore.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Chapters(00:00:00) - Gaiman Going Deeper: How To Deal With Haters(00:01:34) - Michael Jackson on Why People Hate Him(00:04:55) - How to Stop Criticizing Others(00:05:35) - Haters Need to Be Seen In Their Pain(00:09:00) - How to Disagree With a Hater(00:14:00) - "Disengagement Is a Powerful Tool"(00:15:51) - Michael on The Impact Of Hate On His Life(00:20:45) - The Influences of Social Media(00:21:12) - How to Handle Haters(00:21:43) - How To Stop Defensiveness(00:25:55) - Let the Haters Be Wrong(00:29:58) - Dropping Love For The Brothers(00:31:05) - A Connection Circle -
What if the things you turn to for fun, pleasure, and productivity are also the ways you avoid your life?
In this episode, we explore escapism through a grounded, real-world lens. Not necessarily as a clinical issue, but as a pattern most of us fall into without realizing it.
From constant busyness and social plans to sex, substances, and scrolling, it’s never been easier to stay stimulated- and disconnected at the same time. We break down:
Why escapism is so common (and why it makes sense)The difference between enjoyment and avoidanceHow to recognize when it shifts from choice to compulsionThe hidden costs of always staying “on”Why a full life can still feel emptyJoin us for an eye-opening episode about understanding the spectrum of escapism… and what it might be helping you avoid.
️ Connection Circle: Slowing Down Without Falling Behind
If this episode resonates, join Michael for a live Connection Circle where we explore how to slow down, be more intentional, and stay connected to your life… without feeling like you’re falling behind. www.gaymensbrotherhood.com/events
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom callsFollow us on Instagram | TikTokLearn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.Take the Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Man Going Deep: Escapism(00:03:34) - Have You Been In A Pattern of Avoidance?(00:07:30) - Have You Ever Been In A Compulsive Loop With Something?(00:10:49) - How To Cope After A Breakup(00:13:26) - Talking About Relationships(00:15:14) - What is the anxiety of working?(00:16:24) - Burnout and Escapism(00:20:05) - Gay Man's Brotherhood: Slowing Down Without Falling Behind(00:22:13) - How to Stop Distract Yourself With Your Phone(00:26:19) - What is the cost of constant numbing, avoidance of self?(00:28:35) - How to Slow Down Your Life(00:29:26) - A Gay Man's Four Fs(00:30:47) - Gay Men's Brotherhood -
At what point did life stop being fun?
As kids, play came naturally. We were curious, spontaneous, and fully present. But for many adults, especially gay men who grew up navigating shame and self-consciousness, play slowly disappears.
Responsibility takes over. Image matters more. We try to be cool. And somewhere along the way, joy gets replaced with pressure, performance, and productivity.
In this episode, we explore why so many adults lose their playful side and why reconnecting with it can be one of the most powerful ways to reclaim joy, authenticity, and connection.
Some of the things we cover in this conversation are:
How shame and self-consciousness disconnect us from playThe difference between authentic play and performative funHow western culture slowly erodes our inner childWhy playfulness is connected to vulnerability and authenticityThe role of play in intimacy, connection, and great sexHow play can protect against burnout and bring us back to lifeWhy joy and appreciation are skills worth intentionally developingIf life has started to feel heavy, serious, or overly effortful, this episode is a reminder that play is not childish. It may be one of the most important ingredients in a meaningful life.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop seri...Chapters(00:00:05) - Let's Play(00:02:05) - Why Do Gay Men Stop Playing?(00:04:19) - What Did You Play For As A Child?(00:07:15) - When Did You Start Playing Solo?(00:13:20) - What Would You Get Out Of Play?(00:18:10) - How I Used To Play Both Girls And Boys(00:21:05) - Gay Men Talk About Childhood Play(00:23:32) - Have Your Relationships to Play Changed As You Get Older?(00:29:03) - The Importance of Play(00:31:01) - The Role of Play in Me(00:36:39) - What Does Playing Bring Up For You?(00:37:00) - What Are The Ways That You Play?(00:40:02) - The Importance of Travel(00:42:20) - Matt the Filmmaker on Play(00:47:33) - Michael's Secret To Fun And Play(00:50:39) - Play Will Save Your Life! -
When a gay man says he’s attracted to masculine men, is that simply preference… or could internalized homophobia be part of the story?
In this episode, we unpack one of the most volatile conversations in the gay community. We explore what people actually mean when they say “masculine,” the masc and fem archetypes that shape gay culture, and how social conditioning around masculinity and femininity can influence attraction and identity.
Most importantly, we tackle the question at the center of the debate: where is the line between genuine preference and internalized bias?
In this episode we discuss:
What people really mean when they say “masculine”Masculine and feminine archetypes How conditioning around masculinity shapes attractionWhat internalized homophobia can look like in everyday lifeThe difference between preference and hierarchyWhere the line may exist between preference and prejudiceJoin us for a nuanced conversation about masculinity, attraction, and the cultural forces that shape how gay men see themselves and each other.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your...Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep(00:01:00) - Gay Men's Issues With Masculinity(00:03:16) - What is Internalized Homophobia?(00:05:26) - Are You Attracted To Masculine Men?(00:10:26) - Tom Brokaw on Masculinity(00:11:40) - Masculinity and the Gay Community(00:14:31) - On Masculinity and Sexuality(00:17:39) - Gayman's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:18:29) - Internalized Homophobia(00:23:06) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Femininity and Gay Life(00:29:44) - Queens Talk About Their Gay Culture(00:32:15) - Outing My Own Phobia(00:36:08) - Gay Men Go Deep Coaching(00:36:50) - Where Is the Line Between Real Sexual Desire and Internalized Homophobia(00:39:58) - I Used To Be Attracted To Performative Masculinity(00:45:24) - Reno On Gay Men's Sexualities(00:49:08) - Blind Dating on Grindr(00:50:14) - A Very Long Goodbye -
The guy who constantly cancels plans, keeps things vague, or disappears when something better comes along — that’s flakiness: a pattern of not following through.
In a culture of endless options and shifting feelings, has unreliability quietly become normal? And what does that actually say about us?
In this off-the-cuff episode, we talk about:
What flakiness actually is — and what it isn’tThe difference between boundaries and excusesCommon avoidance patterns in dating and friendshipsWhy keeping your word is about more than just social plansWhat it really means to be a reliable manThis isn’t just about the inconvenience of canceled plans. It’s about self-trust, stronger relationships, and the kind of man you’re practicing becoming.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: FlAKY Gays(00:03:24) - Gay Men Talk About Flakiness(00:07:37) - How to run a group(00:08:45) - Flaky Gay Men vs Avoidant Gay Men(00:13:03) - Being Candid With People(00:16:34) - Gay Men Talk About When They Don't Want To Connect With Me(00:20:13) - How to Get More Out of Your Friendships(00:21:10) - Lack of Follow Through(00:25:50) - Matt On His Love Life(00:29:04) - In the Elevator With Flakiness(00:30:25) - Gaming Going Deep -
What does it actually mean to identify as gay?
For many of us, claiming the word “gay” was liberating. It gave us language, belonging, community, and pride. It helped us make sense of our experiences and find people who understood us. But is there a point where identification turns into over-identification?
In this episode, we unpack some big questions:
What is identity, really?In what ways is identifying as gay empowering?How does it foster belonging and inclusion?When does it start to create division, hierarchy, or limitation?Is “gay” a culture — and if so, what does that even mean?Where’s the line between healthy pride and rigid attachment?We explore the benefits and the drawbacks of tying ourselves closely to any identity — and how over-identifying can sometimes shrink us rather than expand us.
This conversation isn’t about minimizing being gay. It’s about integrating it. About moving from performance to embodiment. From label to lived experience.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: Over Identifying With Being Gay(00:00:50) - Being gay in the quest for enlightenment(00:03:29) - Michael Buble On Over Identifying With Being Gay(00:08:55) - On Loss of Identity(00:13:26) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: The Gay Community(00:18:03) - Coming Out Has Helped People(00:21:17) - How Over Identifying Can Be a Hindrance(00:23:05) - Is Pride Helpful or a hindrance for Gay Men? -
In a world of swipes, situationships, and high-intensity connections, romance can start to feel obsolete — replaced by sexual energy, emotional guardedness, or the safety of detachment.
And yet many of us still long for thoughtfulness, depth, being chosen and choosing in return.
In this episode, we explore why that part of us often gets buried under performance, fear of rejection, and modern dating norms — and what it actually takes to lead with romance instead of intensity.
We talk about:
What romance really looks and feels like in dating Why intensity is so often mistaken for intimacyWhat it means to actively bring romance into your dating lifeHow love languages and attachment styles shape our romantic expressionAnd what truly sweeps us off our feetThis conversation is both a reality check and an ode to the intentional, courageous, thoughtful part of ourselves that still believes in romance.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:05) - Gay Men Going Deeper: The Romantic Gay Man(00:00:53) - How To Bring Romance Into Your Dating & Relationships(00:01:56) - How To Be Romantic In Gay Culture(00:03:47) - Michael on Romance in Gay Culture(00:07:34) - Gay Men Talk About Romance(00:12:44) - "I Don't Think Romance Is Romantic"(00:18:00) - How To Start A Romance: Setting the Tone(00:20:25) - The Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:21:09) - How Do You Bring Romance Into Dating?(00:25:48) - How Do I Bring Romance Into Dating?(00:29:03) - What's The Most Romantic Thing You've Ever Done For Someone?(00:33:40) - How To Get Out Of Your Attractor's Grip(00:34:51) - The Most Romantic Thing Someone's Done For Me(00:36:47) - What Do You Need To Know To Be Swept Off Your Feet(00:39:04) - Toronto Guy Problems(00:43:11) - Saved Off My Feet(00:47:10) - "If I'm a 10, I'll Keep Dating"(00:50:05) - Don't Be Afraid To Be Romantic With Your Gay Guy Friends -
Being sexually open isn’t the same as being sexually honest. In a culture that celebrates sex, many gay men still struggle to feel aligned with what they truly want, without shame or pressure.
In this off-the-cuff conversation, we explore what it really looks like to own your desires without shame, performance, or pressure. We unpack how conditioning, fear, and expectations can quietly pull us away from what we genuinely want, and why many gay men feel disconnected from their evolving desires over time.
We talk about:
What sexual authenticity actually means (and what it doesn’t)The subtle ways we learn to edit or override our desiresHow shame, fear, and social expectations shape what we allow ourselves to wantHow desire changes across seasons of life, relationships, and identityWhy authenticity, not experience or performance, is the foundation of sexual empowermentThis episode isn’t about labelling “right” or “wrong” desires. It’s about building an honest, compassionate relationship with yourself so your choices around sex feel grounded, intentional, and aligned.
Join Michael's Sexual Empowerment 101 7-week men’s group starting in April.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom callsFollow us on Instagram | TikTokLearn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: Unpacking Sexual Authenticity(00:01:30) - What Does It Mean To Be Sexual Authentic?(00:04:32) - Kinky and Vanilla Sexual Shamers(00:06:02) - How to Exploit Your Sexual Desire in Your 40s(00:08:09) - Tom Brokoe on His Sexual Authenticity(00:09:08) - Demisexuals on Being More Sexual in Their 40s(00:12:28) - The Importance of Authenticity in Relationships(00:15:28) - Geminis Talk Sexually(00:18:04) - Gemini Talk About Vocal Play(00:19:06) - Gay Men Talk Sex(00:22:21) - Gay Mens Brotherhood: Sexual Authenticity -
In gay culture, “body count” refers to how many people you’ve slept with. And whether it’s high or low, it often feels like a no-win situation. Have a low body count and you risk being seen as repressed, inexperienced, or undesirable. Have a high one and you’re either celebrated… or slut shamed.
In this off-the-cuff conversation, we unpack why gay men are stuck between purity culture and performance culture, and how both distort our relationship to sex, desire, and self-worth.
We explore:
Why body count became a stand-in for confidence and masculinityHow sex gets turned into proof of worth instead of a personal choiceThe difference between sexual freedom and sexual pressureWhy sex positivity isn’t about having more sex, or less sexWhat sexual empowerment actually looks like when shame isn’t running the showThis episode isn’t about judging how much sex you’ve had. It’s about reclaiming choice, agency, and a healthier relationship to desire.
Join the Sexual Empowerment 101 7-week men’s group Link
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Culture: Perpetual Sexual Hygiene(00:02:00) - Body Count in Our Culture(00:05:48) - Purity Culture and Performance Culture(00:06:42) - Who Are The People Shaming Gay People Having Sex?(00:08:29) - "Purity Culture" Is Full of Shame For Gay Men(00:09:52) - What Is the Story You Tell Yourself About People Who Have A Lot(00:10:18) - Demisexual Man on His Sexual Preoccupation(00:13:55) - Is Demisexual Love The Same As Sex?(00:16:09) - Straight Guys Think They're More Hot Than Girls(00:18:14) - Sexual Empowerment(00:21:57) - Sexual Empowerment Group and Connection Circle(00:23:31) - Oh My Goodness(00:23:40) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Connections Circles -
Gay culture rewards visibility, desirability, and dominance, so a lot of what looks like confidence is actually performance under pressure. In this episode, we unpack the myths of self-confidence gay men inherit and what real confidence looks like when no one’s watching.
In this conversation, we explore:
What traits often get mistaken for confidence in gay cultureHow social media amplifies performative confidence and quietly fuels insecurityWhy confidence built on validation, desirability, or status is inherently fragileHow childhood experiences and early coping strategies shape what confidence feels safe to expressThe difference between looking confident and being confidentWhy real confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity and why it naturally shifts over timeThis episode isn’t about fixing yourself or learning how to project confidence. It’s about understanding why the version you were taught to chase often feels exhausting, and what a quieter, more grounded confidence actually looks like in real life.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a fr...Chapters(00:00:05) - Gays Go Deep: Why So Many Confident Gay Men Are(00:00:59) - How Confidence For Gay Men Is Decoded(00:04:32) - What Are The Traits That Get Mistaken for Confidence in(00:09:03) - The Gay Gay Male Hypothesis(00:10:39) - Gay Men Reveal How Much Confidence They Have(00:15:52) - The Need for Codependence(00:16:48) - What Makes a Confident Person?(00:21:58) - Is Your Confidence Dependent on Social Media?(00:23:11) - The Need for Self-Confidence(00:25:15) - Want to Attend a Connection Circle? Here!(00:26:10) - What Does Real Confidence Look Like In Real Life?(00:29:16) - What Does Real Confidence Look Like In Real Life?(00:33:28) - Is There A Difference Between Confidence And Heart-centered Confidence(00:35:59) - What does real confidence look like in real life?(00:36:24) - How to Handle Failure and Defeat(00:38:01) - Who Is The Most Confident Person That You Know?(00:41:55) - What Is It That Gay People Get From Being Confident?(00:47:03) - How to Build a Confidence(00:48:20) - Thank You!! -
Everyone says they want a “slow build” in dating… right up until chemistry hits and judgement leaves the building.
In this off-the-cuff episode, we talk about why moving fast feels so intoxicating, what actually happens in your nervous system when you do, and how speed can quietly hijack discernment, attachment, and self-trust. We share personal stories, name the difference between excitement and regulation, and break down how slowing down isn’t about playing games, withholding sex, or killing the spark… it’s about letting something real have a chance to form.
If you’ve ever confused intensity for intimacy, this one’s for you.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gaiman Going Deeper: Slow Build In Relationships(00:00:39) - What is the Slow Build?(00:02:29) - How to Control the Pace of a Relationship(00:02:50) - Falling In Love Too Fast(00:05:57) - How To Manage Your Relationships(00:07:43) - Why Do We Do This?(00:11:06) - What Is A Healthy Pace For A Romantic Relationship?(00:14:13) - What Happens to People Who Go Too Fast?(00:15:13) - What is the Healthy Pace for a Romantic Relationship?(00:17:01) - "We're Going Too Fast For My Own Natural System"(00:19:23) - Knowledge Is Key to Secure Relationships(00:23:01) - How To Slow Down Your Love Life(00:25:02) - How To Control the Pace of Your Relationship(00:29:48) - How To Manage Your Attachment Style(00:30:56) - Podcast -
Gay Men Going Deeper has never done an episode about a TV show before. There’s a reason we did this one. Heated Rivalry isn’t just popular. It landed at a very specific cultural moment for gay men, and the response to it points to something bigger than whether people liked the plot.
In this off-the-cuff conversation, Michael and Matt explore why this story resonated so strongly, what emotional needs it taps into, and why certain depictions of gay love, sex, courage, and intimacy feel especially potent right now.
This isn’t a recap or a review. It’s a conversation about why some stories carry more weight than others, and how paying attention to your reaction can become an opportunity to understand yourself more deeply.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: The Rivalry(00:00:47) - Heated Rival: Gay Men's Brotherhood Comments(00:01:49) - "The Disappointment"(00:02:55) - "Love Yourself"(00:07:04) - Bait & Switch: The Gay Men's Episode 3(00:10:53) - Pushing the Gay Culture(00:12:53) - Coming Out: Gay People in the Closet(00:13:36) - Matt Cooke on Coming Out In The Hockey League(00:17:49) - The Gay Love Story(00:21:06) - Neil Gaiman: The Book Review, Part 2 -
It’s a question many gay men quietly carry… especially after heartbreak, disappointment, or years of trying.
In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we put on our coach hats and unpack why this belief takes hold, how shame and self-protection can block love without us realizing it, and what actually helps us become more open to connection again.
This conversation isn’t about forcing positivity or dating tactics. It’s about understanding the patterns that keep us guarded, how we sabotage love unintentionally, and how to restore hope without lowering your standards or abandoning yourself.
In this episode, we explore:
Where the belief “I’ll be single forever” comes fromThe most common blocks to love we see in gay menHow shame quietly shapes dating and relationshipsThe difference between protection and emotional availabilityHow to let love in while staying grounded, discerning, and self-respectingIf you want real connection but feel tired, guarded, or discouraged, this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and a grounded way forward.
Listen now and go deeper.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Going Deeper(00:00:34) - Gaming Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:02:05) - Will I Be Single Forever?(00:04:42) - Lack of role models for gay couples(00:05:31) - Open Relationships(00:06:19) - I'll Be Single 'Forever'(00:12:48) - This 67-Year-Old Gay Man Found Love For the First(00:14:47) - How To Get Out Of The Single Trap(00:15:38) - Common Shame Blocks in Gay Men's Love Life(00:22:07) - Gay Men Need To Heal Their Love Lives(00:28:27) - Healing Your Shame For Dating & Relationships(00:30:04) - How to Overcome the Blocks to Love(00:33:26) - "My Protector Parts Are Slowly Breaking My Own Heart"(00:36:53) - How to Love Yourself(00:42:17) - How To Heal Your Heart From Heartbreak(00:44:38) - Are You Ready for Your Relationship?(00:45:58) - Gay Men's Brotherhood Podcast -
This episode of Gay Men Going Deeper is less of a casual conversation and more of a confidence masterclass. One you’ll likely want to come back to again and again.
We break down what real, unshakeable confidence actually is (and what it isn’t). Not the loud, performative kind, but the grounded confidence that comes from self-trust, self-compassion, and emotional regulation.
We talk honestly about why confidence can feel harder for gay men, how minority stress and shame shape a harsh inner critic, and how we deal with setbacks. In this episode, we cover:
How confidence is built through action, discomfort, self-compassionHow shame and the inner critic quietly undermine self-trustWhether “fake it till you make it” actually works… and where it falls apartWhy taking action builds confidence (and how inaction erodes it)How self-compassion keeps confidence intact when things go wrongWhat to do when confidence wobbles after rejection, embarrassment, or insecurityIf you’ve ever looked confident on the outside but felt shaky on the inside, this episode will help you understand why, and give you a clear, grounded path forward.
Save this one. It’s the kind of episode you’ll get something new from every time you listen.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos...Chapters(00:00:05) - Gay Men Going Deeper: How to Build Confidence(00:01:05) - How to Build Unshakable Confidence(00:04:35) - What Actually Build Unshakable Confidence?(00:11:14) - How Do You Build Unshakable Self Confidence?(00:15:18) - How to Build Confidence(00:19:02) - Self-Compassion vs. Boastful(00:20:16) - What helps you build confidence? Join our Connection Circles(00:21:06) - Faking It Till It Actually Works(00:24:55) - "Faking It" Has It Work For You?(00:29:26) - Kinda Like Fake It Till You Make It(00:33:30) - You Should Be More Frumpy On The Podcast(00:33:48) - Gay Men: Unshakable Self Confidence(00:34:53) - How To Deal With Confirmations(00:39:15) - Reno on Being Confident(00:41:55) - How Do You Deal With Confidence(00:47:48) - Queens Talk About Self-Compassion(00:52:33) - Gayman's Brotherhood: Connection Circle -
In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest dating myths gay men love to repeat: “My standards are too high.” But sometimes the problem isn’t what you want, it’s what you allow.
We get into the real difference between standards and boundaries, why attraction wipes our memory clean, and how low boundaries quietly reveal your level of self-worth. If you’ve ever said you want emotional maturity but keep entertaining sexy chaos, this episode is going to sting a little (in a good way).
Some of the topics we cover in this episode are:
A clear explanation of standards vs boundaries (with examples)Why our standards collapse the second a hot man gives you attentionHow boundaries are actually a self-worth and self-respect practiceThe “crumb diet” too many gay men settle forJoin us for this honest, relatable, and painfully accurate episode that might be the reset your dating life has been waiting for.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - Gay Men's Dating: Standards and Boundaries(00:02:54) - What's The Difference Between Standards and Boundaries(00:04:52) - Gay Women Talk About Boundaries(00:09:14) - How To Give Care To Your Partner(00:12:34) - Why High Standards Don't Matter If Your Boundaries Are Low(00:16:22) - When do you find your boundaries collapsing fastest?(00:18:58) - What Makes You Feel Valid? Validation and Control(00:23:13) - What Poor Boundaries Look Like(00:27:08) - Standards vs Boundaries(00:27:23) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Donor-funded Podcast -
In this episode, Michael and Matt get personal about what we love about being single, how we knew we were ready to start dating again, and what we want to experience differently this time around. We talk about flirting on apps, dating in 2026, and all the messy, exciting parts of putting yourself back out there when you’re ready to mingle.
Some of the topics we cover in this episode are:• Getting back into the dating world• When your nervous system tries to hijack your dating life• Red flags and green flags• What we’re actually looking for in a man now (and how that has changed)
It’s cheeky, honest, and surprisingly insightful. If you’re single (or single-ish), you’ll feel right at home.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:05) - Gamin Going Deeper: Being Single & Ready To Mingle(00:01:46) - What Is Single and Ready To Mingle?(00:02:27) - What Do You Love About Being Single?(00:05:02) - Mixed Messages on Dating and Singling(00:06:02) - What's Your Favorite Stage Of A Relationship? The Honeymoon Phase(00:10:22) - Matt on Conflicts In His Relationships(00:12:06) - Single People Talk About The Best Things About Being Single(00:16:13) - What I Need In A Good Relationship(00:17:50) - What's The Non-Negotiable Item In A Relationship?(00:20:43) - Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:21:22) - When Are You Ready to Mingle?(00:24:31) - Gay Men on Matching Apps(00:28:26) - "Does It Mean I Attract a Polyamorous Partner?"(00:31:49) - Are You Dating Gay People?(00:33:28) - Gaiman's Going Deep: Relationships and Dating(00:34:25) - What Would You Like To Experience The This Time Around?(00:39:17) - What You Need To Know About Chasing(00:43:10) - What I Want In A Relationship(00:43:52) - Matt on His Sexual Life(00:46:14) - I Should've Knew That My Best Friend Had Sex With Her(00:49:28) - "That's Off-limits" For Gay People(00:49:47) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Connection Circle -
Why does attraction fade… and what can we do about it? In this episode we get real about attraction in long-term relationships. The spark doesn’t always burn forever, and losing sexual interest doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. We talk about why attraction naturally shifts over time and how couples can ignite intimacy.
We explore:
Why attraction fades in relationshipsThe 4 types of intimacy (and why they matter)Sexless marriages and normalizing libido changesWhat erodes desire over timeHow to bring spark, novelty, and connection backJoin us for a real conversation on attraction, intimacy, and what keeps the spark alive over time.
Today's Hosts:
Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.Chapters(00:00:00) - When Attraction Fades in Gay Relationships(00:04:24) - 4 Types of Intimate Relationship(00:10:11) - How To Keep The Fire In Your Relationships(00:15:06) - What Causes Attraction To Fizzle For You(00:18:01) - How to Keep the Sex Fire Alive in Your Marriage(00:21:21) - 3 Tips For Keeping Intimate Relationships Alive(00:23:47) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Sparking Your Love Life - Visa fler
