Avsnitt
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#386: Do you ever find yourself giving to others while quietly wondering if your own needs are being met? Are you unsure how to identify what you truly want versus what you think you should want?
In this episode, I explore the often overlooked patterns that make it hard to distinguish your genuine wants and needs from the expectations of those around you. By the end of this episode, you’ll understand how to notice the difference between your authentic needs and habitual responses, reclaim your sense of agency, and start making choices that honor both your values and your well-being.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/386
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#385: Do you feel like your confidence vanished when the structure, role, or life you relied on disappeared? Have you ever wondered why you feel shaky, uncertain, or like a stranger to yourself after major life transitions?
This week, I explore what happens to our confidence after a rupture and how to rebuild it in a way that is truly yours. I dive into the difference between borrowed confidence and internal confidence, and why relying on roles, approval, or external validation sets you up for wobble when life inevitably changes.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/385
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Tenderoni Hotline #37: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.
In today’s episode, we’re diving into two deeply relatable questions that so many of us carry quietly. First, what’s really going on when you can’t stop thinking about your ex and keep reaching for “closure,” even though you know they won’t give you what you need? We’ll explore why this craving is less about them and more about your nervous system’s longing for completion, and how to create that sense of closure from within.
Then we turn toward the ache of constantly seeking reassurance, even in a loving, safe relationship. If you find yourself asking “Are we okay?” again and again, this part is for you. We’ll unpack the roots of that pattern and talk about how to gently retrain your nervous system to trust safety, love, and steadiness without outsourcing your emotional security.
You’ll walk away with nervous system-informed tools, a whole lot of compassion, and a deeper understanding of why your brain and body respond the way they do. Because you’re not broken. You’re healing.
So settle in, grab your cozy beverage of choice, and let’s get into it.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#384: Do you ever feel like your nervous system is on autopilot, constantly stuck in survival mode, and that a quick "reset" could somehow erase all your stress and trauma?
Tune in this week as I unpack why there is no magic button to instantly reset your nervous system, and why chasing one might actually make things worse. We dive into what your nervous system is really doing when it reacts to stress, trauma, or emotional challenges, and why these responses aren’t malfunctions but intelligent, survival-driven adaptations.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/384
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#383: Ever feel like the roles in your life - partner, parent, friend, employee - are colliding in ways that leave you exhausted and unsure of who you are supposed to be?
In this episode, I’m unpacking the subtle and pervasive experience of role confusion and how it can sneak into your life without you even realizing it. We explore how taking on others’ expectations, trying to manage everyone’s emotions, and overextending yourself creates a constant state of overwhelm. This isn’t just about being busy. It’s a misalignment between what your nervous system is actually capable of handling and the roles you feel you must perform.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/383
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Tenderoni Hotline #36: A listener recently wrote in with a request: please stop calling your audience "my love/my beauty."
In this episode, I respond to that message and explore the deeper questions underneath it. Why do terms of endearment feel comforting to some people and uncomfortable to others? What happens when trauma teaches us that closeness, care, or tenderness are things to be wary of? And at what point does healing ask us to move beyond avoiding discomfort and begin building safety from within?
We dive into the relationship between nervous system regulation, emotional outsourcing, trauma recovery, and self-trust. I also share why calling people "my love" is not a branding decision or a marketing strategy, but an authentic expression of who I am, my culture, and the kind of world I want to help create.
If you've ever struggled to receive kindness, felt suspicious of tenderness, or found yourself looking outside yourself for safety, worth, or belonging, this episode offers a compassionate invitation to get curious about those patterns.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
My 12-week programs include live teaching, guided somatic practices, journaling workbooks, and a private podcast where I answer your questions directly. Learn more at: beatrizalbina.com/courses
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#382: Do you find yourself stuck in the same emotional loops, beating yourself up when things don’t go as planned, or folding around boundaries because the perfectionist story in your mind says you should?
This week, we’re exploring how real self-compassion helps you stay with yourself in uncomfortable moments without spiraling, shutting down, or reverting to old habits. I also share how dead-end thinking keeps us looping in guilt, shame, and self-abandonment, and the real mechanics of staying present with your feelings, even when life doesn’t go the way you expect.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/382
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#381: What happens when you stop people pleasing and the people around you are no longer pleased?
If the thought of setting boundaries, speaking up, or disappointing someone makes your nervous system panic, this episode will hit home. I explore why so many of us stay stuck in over-functioning, over-giving, and self-abandonment, and why growth often comes with discomfort from the people who benefited from the old version of you.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/381
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Tenderoni Hotline #35: What if your relationship with food has far less to do with willpower and far more to do with your nervous system?
In this deeply thoughtful and delightfully nerdy conversation, I’m joined by Ali Shapiro, MS, CHHC, holistic nutritionist, creator of the Truce with Food method, host of the The Truce with Food podcast (formerly The Insatiable podcast), and 33-year cancer survivor, to explore the hidden connection between food, safety, belonging, emotional outsourcing, and self-worth.
Together we unpack why so many of us get stuck in cycles of restriction, perfectionism, binge eating, and trying to be “good” with food. We talk about the developmental psychology underneath emotional eating, the pressure to earn health through discipline and control, and why nervous system regulation matters so much when it comes to nourishment and healing.
Ali shares her compassionate, research-based approach that integrates functional nutrition, developmental psychology, and root-cause behavior change to help people build lasting change without shame or rigid wellness rules.
We also explore how diet culture and wellness culture often reinforce the same old patterns of self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and outsourcing authority, while disconnecting us from our own inner wisdom and body trust.
This episode is for anyone who feels exhausted by all-or-nothing thinking around food and wants a more grounded, compassionate, and sustainable way forward.
Learn more about Ali and her work at trucewithfood.com.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#380: Are you actually ready for coaching, or do you just want your life to feel different?
In this episode, I unpack the difference between wanting change and being truly available for change. If you’ve been reading the books, listening to the podcasts, and trying to heal your codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, this conversation might help you understand why.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/380
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Tenderoni Hotline #34: What do you do when every boundary, request, or honest conversation somehow gets turned back around on you?
In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore victim mindset dynamics in relationships and the exhausting emotional loops they create, especially for folks healing codependency, people pleasing, and emotional outsourcing.
This conversation unpacks what happens when someone consistently positions themselves as the harmed party whenever accountability enters the room. Whether it shows up through defensiveness, collapse, chronic excuses, or even the weaponization of therapy and nervous system language, these dynamics can leave you questioning your reality, minimizing your needs, and carrying emotional responsibilities that were never yours to begin with.
We talk about why emotionally outsourced folks are especially vulnerable to these patterns, how gaslighting can hide inside “healing” language, and why trying harder to explain yourself rarely changes the dynamic. Most importantly, we explore what it looks like to stay anchored in yourself instead of disappearing into someone else’s story about who you are.
If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling confused, guilty for having needs, or responsible for managing someone else’s emotional state, this episode is for you.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Why do apologies feel so vulnerable, so loaded, and sometimes almost impossible to give sincerely? In this first episode of my new series, The Work, I unpack the emotional outsourcing habits that shape the way we approach apologies, responsibility, defensiveness, shame, and conflict.
You’ll learn the difference between intent and impact, why “I’m sorry but…” disconnects instead of repairs, and how to use apologies as a tool for deeper honesty, emotional adulthood, and stronger relationships. If you’ve ever found yourself overexplaining, defending your intentions, or feeling resentment even while saying “I’m sorry,” this episode will help you understand what’s really happening underneath those apology patterns.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/379
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Tenderoni Hotline #33: Why do some people default to fight mode instead of people-pleasing? And can someone with developmental trauma actually learn to feel safe in love?
In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore the hidden relationship between emotional outsourcing, chronic nervous system activation, and the fight response. If you’ve ever felt constantly braced, reactive, angry, burnt out, or unseen, this conversation will help you understand what your body has been trying to protect.
We also answer a deeply tender listener question about learning to love safely after developmental trauma. Together, we unpack attachment wounds, functional freeze, interoception, somatic healing, and the slow, powerful process of building secure attachment in adulthood.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#378: Are you tired of being told to "just let it out" when you're feeling furious, only to find the rage is still there once the dust settles? We’ve been sold a story that human emotions work like a plumbing system - that if we don't discharge the pressure, we’ll eventually explode. But what if the very tools we’re using to "heal" are actually just teaching our bodies to stay stuck?
In this episode, I dive into why the popular catharsis hypothesis fails us and how the patriarchy has monetized our fury through things like rage rooms. We explore the difference between simply discharging energy and actually receiving the vital information your body is trying to send you. I’m sharing why your anger isn't a problem to be solved with a sledgehammer, but a sophisticated map designed to lead you back to your own boundaries and power.
Join me this week to learn how to move beyond outdated catharsis models, why integration matters more than discharge, and how to listen to your anger with curiosity, somatic awareness, and self-respect. I’ll show you how to stop bouncing your anger off a wall and start listening to the signal so you can turn that energy into life-changing clarity and systemic change.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/378
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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My love, what actually happens when you stop outsourcing your worth and start working with your nervous system?
In this episode, Rowan and Antonina share their experience inside The Somatic Studio, where they completed a 12 week deep dive into somatic work and nervous system healing. This is a grounded, honest conversation about what shifts when you begin regulating your body, building self trust, and interrupting patterns of people pleasing and over functioning.
We explore how somatic work supports nervous system regulation, why anxiety starts to shift when you work with the body instead of just the mind, and what it really looks like to set boundaries without being hijacked by guilt. Rowan and Antonina also speak to the process of moving out of emotional outsourcing and into a more embodied sense of self, and what changed for them over the course of 12 weeks in their relationships, decision making, and daily lives.
If you find yourself constantly second guessing, overthinking, or looking outside of you for validation, this episode offers a real life example of what it takes to come back to yourself. This kind of healing is not about fixing who you are, but about creating the internal safety needed to trust yourself again.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#377: What if saying “I’m overwhelmed” is sometimes about more than just naming your exhaustion? If you’ve been living in chronic overdrive, collapsing under endless demands, or feeling trapped between doing too much and shutting down completely, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface of overwhelm itself.
In this episode, I unpack how overwhelm is not only a real nervous system state, but can also become a protective story that shields us from the vulnerability of directly claiming our limits, needs, and boundaries. I explore how perfectionism, emotional outsourcing, and fear of being perceived as selfish can keep us performing overwhelm instead of consciously choosing what truly aligns with our capacity.
Join me today to learn how overwhelm can become a hidden strategy for preserving innocence and avoiding discomfort, why this pattern disconnects you from your real needs, and how to start questioning the deeper story beneath your overwhelm.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/377
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Tenderoni Hotline #31: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where I answer your most heartfelt questions about healing, nervous system care, and coming home to yourself.
In today’s episode, we’re answering two beautiful and important questions from our community. First, we’re talking about what to do with a lifetime of suppressed anger, especially when your body feels too exhausted or fragile to let it out. If the thought of expressing your rage feels overwhelming or unsafe, you’re not alone. I’ll walk you through a gentle, somatic approach rooted in nervous system science and self-compassion to help you start moving that energy in a way that supports real healing.
Then, we shift into a conversation about emotional outsourcing in the workplace, and how perfectionist, people-pleasing, and over-functioning habits can become survival strategies in environments that reward self-abandonment. If you’ve ever felt like your worth at work depends on your ability to stay small, agreeable, and endlessly available, this one’s for you.
You’ll leave this episode with real tools, new insights, and loving reminders that you are not broken. You are adapting, surviving, and learning how to come home to yourself.
So take a breath and let’s get into it.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#376: Have you ever found yourself staying in a relationship out of obligation, fear, or guilt… only to feel exhausted and unfulfilled? If you’ve struggled to assess whether a relationship is truly serving you or draining you, this episode is for you.
For recovering emotional outsourcers, the idea of reassessing our connections can feel like an act of betrayal or failure. But in this episode, I’m challenging that narrative by reframing the evaluation of our relationships as a profound act of self-care and a necessity for living an authentic life.
Whether it’s a job, a friendship, or even familial dynamics, I guide you through a process of self-reflection, so you can honor your needs and make empowered choices around your relationships. You’ll learn practical steps to assess whether a connection is truly serving you, how to manage boundaries with love, and how to take a compassionate approach to releasing what no longer supports your highest good.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/376
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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Tenderoni Hotline #30: If you have ever been called too independent, emotionally guarded, or hard to get close to, this episode is for you. Because hyper-independence is not just a personality trait. It is often a nervous system strategy that formed to keep you safe.
In this Tenderoni Hotline, we explore a quieter, often overlooked side of emotional outsourcing. Not the people pleasing or overgiving version, but the self-reliant, closed-off pattern that says I do not need anyone. We look at how emotional guardedness can still be rooted in seeking safety, belonging, and worth outside of yourself, just in a different direction that feels more controlled but often more isolating.
We also dive into a question that the wellness world does not answer well. What are you supposed to do when you do not have anyone safe to co-regulate with? If you grew up without consistent, safe support, the advice to just find your people can feel inaccessible or even activating. This episode offers a different approach, one that honors your lived experience while giving you practical ways to begin building safety from within.
Together, we talk about why closeness can feel unsafe in your body, how these patterns make sense, and how to begin softening them in small, doable ways that do not overwhelm your system. You will learn how to start creating moments of safety, connection, and regulation without forcing vulnerability or depending on unsafe relationships.
You are not broken for being guarded. You adapted in ways that made sense at the time. And you can learn to feel safe again, at your own pace, in your own way.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en "
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
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#375: Why does reclaiming rest still feel so uncomfortable, even when you know you need it? If you’ve ever found yourself filling every quiet moment, pushing through exhaustion, or feeling guilty the second you slow down, this episode will hit close to home.
In this episode, I explore rest beyond the basics and introduce five less obvious but deeply needed types of rest that your nervous system may be starving for. I unpack why rest is so hard to access, especially when your identity has been shaped around being useful, productive, and emotionally available to everyone else, and how emotional outsourcing keeps you stuck in depletion.
Join me this week as I share the five hidden types of rest your nervous system needs, and how to access these types of rest in real ways throughout your day. I’ll show you how rest actually lives in the in-between moments you’ve been rushing through, and how reclaiming those moments can help you reconnect with your body, your time, and your sense of self.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/375
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift
- Visa fler
