Avsnitt
-
Yes we have a secure relationship and marriage now. But we certainly had to overcome our initial anxious and avoidant tendencies early on. Even now, those tendencies can still show up; we have just done the work to handle situations, emotions, and conflicts in healthy and secure ways to stay on the same team.
In this episode you will hear us tell our relationship story as the background for how you can overcome any of your own insecure attachment patterns. You will hear the quick reminder of:
the 4 attachment styles,
the 5 core pillars within each style,
and then the things we did in our own life to be in the secure place we are now, and no matter what life events happen to us.
In telling our story you will take away many great steps you can take to further cement yourselves a secure foundation to add to your connection, closeness, and trust in your marriage.
Relationship Resources mentioned in the episode:
Get The Family Meeting Guide - either on its own here, or as a bonus for starting the Prioritize Us Challenge that starts Dec 1st.
If you listened all the way to the end, take the action we mentioned while using the word "special". Be sure you listen all the way through for the special offer of the 3 guides together!
-
Saknas det avsnitt?
-
Imagine a scenario where you and your partner are having a conversation. In the middle you begin to feel as if what you are saying is clear, but your partner doesn’t seem to be getting it. You start to get frustrated, your tone or volume changes, so then they get annoyed or irritated and the conversation begins to escalate.
This episode is all about how the meaning of conversations can easily get misunderstood and misinterpreted. The longer you are in a relationship the higher chance there is of this happening. Now you do have two choices, you can keep trying to get your partner to understand in that moment, which leads to tension.
Or you both can take these 3 actions from this episode to better understand where these misunderstandings come from. It’s a common and natural thing to happen, but it takes awareness and execution to keep it from persisting in your relationship.
Relationship Resources
The 30-day challenge and all of the guides that were mentioned can be found with our resources link here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
Be sure to take advantage of the Family Meeting Guide as you begin to refelct on your year and start to set your goals and intentions togther for the next year. You can get this guide as a FREE bonus for starting the Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge -
Whenever you meet an obstacle it is common to ask “why” it happened or even “why” you started down this particular path. You might even ask yourself why you got married or why you should continue when it feels particularly challenging with your partner. There are different ideas (and even studies) that give reasons for why people get married. The top ones are for love and companionship while the next on the list are to have kids, followed by financial and legal reasons.
In this episode you will hear us propose our reason for getting married, which is different from any you will find on these lists. If being married was only for love and companionship for example, how would you then handle the harder moments and when you aren’t ‘feeling’ those positive emotions? Throughout this episode you will hear 3 alternatives for being married in hopes that it radically alters your current perceptions of difficulty in your marriage and gives you renewed strength to go forward as a team.
Relationship Resources:
The 30-Day Couples Challenge starts 3 days from the time this is posted, so you’ll want to pick between Level 1 and Level 2. Go to MeetTheFreemans.com/Challenges. See why over 36,000 couples have loved the prompts, no matter how busy you are.
-
Is feeling emotion within yourself something you welcome or try to avoid? What about when emotion is expressed by your partner, do you experience that as a sign of something bad starting up or as an invitation to listen? Emotion is at the root of relationships, it is what makes it satisfying and fulfilling as well as the starting point of conflicts.
So what is the role of emotion and does it have a real place in a relationship? In this episode you will hear the answer to this question as well as the common barriers and challenges to “holding space for” your partner’s emotions? This is not a simple task so you will know what this “holding space for emotions” term really means and get practical tips for being better at this type of listening with each other. This can lead to more connection and emotional closeness, which is a fundamental aspect of a satisfying relationship over the long term.
Relationship Resources
If you haven’t done our Level 2 “Rebuilding Us” Couples Challenge, we highly recommend doing that before the end of the year. We dive deeper into 10 foundation builders in a marriage, like emotional intelligence, the art of apologies, the needle-movers for each of you in the marriage, and more! You can look at both our Level 1 and Level 2 Couple’s Challenges at MeetTheFreemans.com/links
-
In marriage, unresolved hurts can pile up over time, creating distance and eroding trust. That’s why forgiveness is one of the most crucial (yet challenging) elements to maintaining a healthy, connected relationship. But what does true forgiveness actually look like? And what blocks it from happening?
In this episode, we dive into the depths of forgiveness: what it is and what it isn’t, why it’s essential for moving forward, and how it affects your closeness as a couple. We’ll also explore real-life examples of where forgiveness may be needed in marriage, what keeps couples stuck in hurt, and practical steps to move towards genuine healing. Whether you're navigating small offenses or deep ruptures, understanding forgiveness could be the key to breaking free from repetitive conflict cycles.
As you listen, we recommend these two relationship resources:
The Level 2 “Rebuilding Us” Couples Challenge
2. The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide
-
Does it ever feel like you and your partner have different goals or even that your needs are conflicting with one another? This can be obvious when one partner is saying they need more quality time and the other is saying they need more time for themselves. But there is another conflicting goal that men and women have that is hard to detect.
In this episode you will hear what this conflicting goal is, that you would likely never guess. From all the sessions we do, as well as having hosted our Couples Workshop, this is an underlying subconscious goal that is more pervasive than you realize. Listen in to make sure it is not affecting your relationship and hear what a better more collaborative goal is to have.
Relationship Resources
You can find all of our best resources from guides, 30 day challenges, and webclasses, with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
-
One of the most common questions we get is “how do we create more emotional connection” with each other. The most popular question is about repair, but this is in second place! This is a great question because there isn’t a single answer because it often depends on the season a couple is in and what the most meaningful needs are for each partner in that given season. Nevertheless, the constant creation of emotional connection is one of the single most important elements for having high satisfaction in a marriage.
In this episode, we will reveal what we see as the 5 key components of emotional connection. Though you will have to use each of these aspects and determine how it fits into your current season, you will be much more clear and confident that you can create more closeness with your partner at any time. Being able to do this, you will also feel more secure about facing challenges that arise as a true team!
Relationship Resources:
Join one of the 30 Day Couples Challenges starting Oct 1st, 2024:
Level 1: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun “Love Deposit” ideas. LINKED HERE
Level 2: “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE
-
It’s important for all of us to admit that we have defensive mechanisms and that we do get defensive with our partners at times. Let’s allow ourselves some grace here. Many of you would probably relate to getting even more defensive about getting defensive! It is common to go on the offensive through deflection or blame, which can leave another feeling that their experience is being invalidated.
However that does not mean that someone is being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a much more serious pattern when it is happening, and is a strong accusation to make that can quickly escalate a conversation or conflict. In this episode you will hear the clear distinction between defensiveness and gaslighting so that you can use the terms properly and reduce escalation. By the end of the episode you will hear 6 different actions to take to reduce both defensiveness and gaslighting in your relations. Both of these lead to erosion of connection, love, and emotional closeness.
Relationship Resources:
Join one of the 30 Day Couples Challenges starting Oct 1st, 2024 - select either one with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/challenges. Or see the individual details below:
Level 1 details: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun “Love Deposit” ideas. LINKED HERE
Level 2 details : “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE
-
Today we explore the turning points where marriages either survive or fall apart, when they hit that "make it for break it" decision point. We've seen five couples end their relationships recently, one even filing papers yesterday, yet none of them reached out for support from us. Given marriage is what we do, it came as a shock to us when we heard the news.
We know many people have this expereince when they hear about friends ending their relationships. So we want to give you the reasons why couples get to this point and WAYS to work at it. In this episode we provide you with clarity as to the build up that gets couples to this point, but also how they can get THROUGH it together. Not just to survive, but to become more understanding, connected, and stronger as a team to face future challenges!
Relationship Resources:
The “Rebuilding Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge, The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide, and more all LINKED HERE.
-
How would you rate the amount of stress in your life right now? We all know that some stress is good stress and that it’s a part of life. Its commonly known that stress plays a major role in physical, mental, and emotional well-being of all of us individually. It’s less known (or at least discussed) how much stress decreases marriage satisfaction and quality!
In today’s episode you will learn everything you ever wanted to know about the effects of stress on your marriage. After listening to this episode you will know:
The 3 sources of stress
How stress directly affects 2 key components in your marriage
Ways to use key coping methods to deal with stress individually and together
10 + positive coping strategies that you can use to better handle the current stressors that you are facing in your life and marriage. So that you can feel relief and be on the same side no matter what stress you face.
Relationship Resources:
1) You can find all of our resources from guides, webclasses, events, to coaching sessions with this link: Best Resources
2)Join us at the in-person Couples Workshop in Arizona on Oct 6th, 2024. Use this as a weekend getaway for you and your partner and attend this 1/2 day event with us to communicate even better and handle challeges as a team. -
When there is tension or an upset in your marriage, it’s easy to point the finger at your partner as the source of the discomfort. But this often leads to further conflict. It also does not address this critical aspect of being in a marriage for a long time… that growth is a part of it! The common question for those that see these events as places to grow is “well, is this a me thing, a you thing, or a we thing”!
Today’s episode is more motivational (and aspirational) about growth in your relationship. You will hear how you can quickly distinguish between the necessary individual work that needs to be done as well as the relationship work that needs to be focused on. After listening to this episode you both will feel more grace for each other with the reminder that you are in this to grow and you are in it together!
Relationship Resources:
1) Discover all our online resources here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
2) Join us at the in-person Couples Workshop on Oct 6th, 2024. As of this episode, the event is 60% sold out so don't wait to grab your seats for this relationship changing event!
-
Last week’s episode focused on husbands was a huge hit, so this week we’re focusing on what inner-challenge wives are struggling with and how it’s affecting marriages. In this episode, we dive into the pressure many wives feel to constantly do more, grow more, and be more—often at the expense of their own well-being.
This relentless pursuit can lead to burnout, resentment, and a disconnect in marriages. We’ll explore why it’s crucial to recognize these patterns, how they impact your relationship, and what you can do to create a healthier, more balanced approach. Tune in to discover how you can start making small shifts that will lead to a stronger, more fulfilling marriage.
As you listen, make sure you sign-up for the upcoming 30-Day “Prioritizing Us” Couples Challenge so you can:
Fill each other’s Love Accounts
Strengthen your connection & communication
And consistently feel like your marriage (and your satisfaction) is a top priority
-
Men are facing an inner-challenge that is also affecting the marriage. For men to feel a sense of meaning, empowerment, responsibility, value, and achievement they have to show up in the eternal world a certain way. Whether this be in business, profession, managing finances or contracts for the family, relationships with family/friends; men are supposed to show up as warriors, lions, unstoppable, and unshakeable in their pursuits…
But at home that same mentality causes issues and conflicts. Men are then supposed to be understanding, supportive, slow to anger, quick to listen, and in a loving attitude to meet their spouses needs. But without knowing how to transition back to being a partner; men can be defensive, quick to react, withdrawn, and with poor coping and communication with their partners. In this episode you will hear about how men can navigate this internal conflict so they can both be the warrior and protect the family in the outside world, and be a loving partner and father.
Relationship Resources:
Level 1: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun “Love Deposit” ideas. LINKED HERE
Level 2: “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE -
Are you able to have a disagreement with your partner without fighting against each other? To be honest many couples view having a disagreement as a fight, because anytime they disagree and there is a little bit of emotion, it always turns into a fight. We are here to tell you that you can disagree while staying on the same team and moving down the decision making path together to find the best route for both of you and your future.
In this episode you will hear 6 different tools/skills to implement in a moment of disagreement that will keep you on the same side and avoid it turning into a conflict or fight. This is a significant and powerful episode as you cannot avoid disagreement in a marriage, but you can use that to gain understanding and make even better decisions as a couple, rather than have it turn into a fight.
Relationship Resources:
1) Visit our top resources for the season you are in, find anything from guides, to challenges, courses, and even attending an in person workshop: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
2) The Next Couples Workshop is Oct 6th, 2024, in Arizona: http://thecouplesworkshop.com/
-
This is the second half of that age old question “what do men want” in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other’s needs then it’s quite important to know what those needs are. This episode is the followup from last week about women's needs right now.
With the amount of coaching sessions we do, we have a great insight into the common needs that are going unmet for couples. There are themes that seem to show up in general, so even the specific needs we hear from men in one season, will not be the same in another (though admittedly more consistent than women’s it seems)!
In this episode you will hear the top 3 needs we are hearing from men right now. A little different from the start of the women’s needs episode, you will also hear 3 key traits that also need to be present in the marriage for there to be willingness and receptivity to these needs. Get ready for a great episode for insight into men’s needs (and the critical element of integrity)!
Relationship Resources:
1) As mentioned, get the Family Meeting Guide as a free bonus when you start the Priotitize Us 30 Day Couples Challenge for $1/day.
2) You can also get the Family Meeting Guide by itself for $19.
-
It’s the age old question “what do women want” in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other’s needs then it’s quite important to know what those needs are. This episode will be a two part series that will follow up with exploring the needs that men have as well (so don’t feel left out guys)!
With the amount of coaching sessions we do, we have a great insight into the common needs that are going unmet for couples. There are themes that seem to show up in general, so even the specific needs we hear from women in one season, will not be the same in another.
In this episode you will hear the top 3 needs we are hearing from women right now, which are especially related to the longer a couple is together. As you will hear from the beginning, these needs are more like categories than specific actions. If you look at them this way then it won’t seem like a moving target from one season to another. Focus on these 3 categories and you will find more flexibility and effectiveness in meeting the needs in the years to come.
Relationship Resources:
Want fun, simple, and sweet ideas for feeling more Prioritized by each other? Make sure you take advantage of the 30-Day “Prioritizing Us’ couples challenge that is starting less than 2 days from when this is posted. Go to MyCouplesChallenge.com
No matter how busy you are, these prompts are realistic but shake things up a bit and get you out of the routine in your interactions. Just read the testimonials and you’ll see why over 32,000 couples have loved our challenges.
-
The success of your life and marriage isn’t as much about the things that happen to you, but how well you can course-correct. This goes for bigger life decisions about where to live, send your kids to school, and where to spend money. As well as the amount of time to pass before initiating repair after a conflict, the attitude you wake up with, and even the thoughts you let your mind focus on.
So then what does “course-correcting” actually look like in regard to these decisions? That is exactly what you will hear in the episode. You are going to hear 4 questions to ask yourselves that will help you to determine whether you are on path or off path, which greatly impacts your satisfaction in your life and marriage together. (So yes it’s pretty important!)
Relationship Resources Mentioned
The Level 1 “Prioritizing Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (you get the popular Family Meeting guide as a bonus gift with this)
The Level 2 “Rebuilding Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage)Additional Guides - https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
-
Whether you’ve been in a funk as a couple, or things have just felt pretty routine with your “adulting” responsibilities, this episode will help you SPARK more fun together!
The truth is, life is short. And we don’t believe we’re meant to just let the weeks pass by and survive our busy schedule. Of course there are challenging days (and you hear us talk about that), but let’s enter into a season of more fulfillment, connection, and play together.
You will hear 5 very tangible and actionable ways to spark more fun together, so dive on in!
We often hear couples say, “we get inspired and motivated to create these changes for a few days, and then we forget or get off track.” And that’s exactly why we created the 30-Day Couples Challenge!
Relationship Resources (pick between):
Level 1: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun Love Deposit ideas. LINKED HERE - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/
Level 2: “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding -
Talk about things before they become a bigger issue. On our vacation with family, I brought up the topic of intimacy (physical specifically) and it sparked a great conversation between us. Now for many this could be a conversation that isn’t brought up and turns into a bigger issue later. This is when it can turn into a “weed” that impacts your marriage. Or it could be a conversation that causes defensiveness and conflict. Neither of these are positive options.
You see, we want to talk about how we’re feeling and what we want BEFORE it starts to affect you and the connection, trust, or openness you have with your partner.
In this episode you will hear us discuss:
What’s a “seed” in the relationship vs a “weed”
What happens when we don’t discuss things soon enough
How to think about bringing these things up and making it a productive conversation
Relationship Resources:
The Level 1 “Prioritizing Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (you get the popular Family Meeting guide as a bonus gift with this)
The Level 2 “Rebuilding Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage) - Visa fler
