Avsnitt
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A lot of this episode of CORNDOWN takes place in the bathroom. A lot of this episode of CORNDOWN has to do with hair. As such, the first calls are all about finding hair in the bathroom, which evokes some bad vibes and leads way to being scared in an empty bathroom. From there, whuppy and I work on hiring someone that looks just like us, and eventually give up on that and just swap out with Jeff. In the second half, the gas station bathrooms are still empty, there’s latency at the gas station and people are getting sniffed. The pumps suck, I get my car towed up there to get some chips, Tiff shaves, Snappy yodels and then it’s over.
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Listen, I don’t know what you think I saw, but I didn’t. I didn’t see anything. And that’s what we’re telling people on the phone. I saw nothing, I’m not going to say anything. This makes a lot of people apprehensive. Wastedmemory can’t feel anything though, which isn’t normal. This leads to an important question; If I saw nothing, what do I tell the police? This also agitates people. A bit later, whuppy gets us started painting stripes on things to reduce crime (obviously). Wild One wants to bring a chair to sell fireworks, and that’s a great idea for sitting. A few crisp high fives, a little Sweedishness, and it’s all over very suddenly. No arguing needed.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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This is probably the most normal episode ever, and there isn’t any heavy editing. It starts by returning a page we received on our beeper. This leads me to remembering I was banned from Hooters last night, and seeing how it affects other businesses. Wasted and I dabble in some light flashlight usage and deal with drive thu warning signs. From there, we further explore flashlight usage, encounter some maintenance psychos, fix a few trees, feel unneeded, and get a pep talk from John. It was a very normal show. You can’t prove otherwise.
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The first call is about Schwebel’s bread, which is a 120+ year old local bakery, and they announced they were shutting down shortly after this call. I thought they were a national label. I didn’t mean to get them shut down. I’m sorry. Other than that we’re shooting for 100% on this show. We try to 100% a bunch of Arby’s. They don’t like it. They don’t even let us go for 50-75%. What’s wrong with these freaks? We ask about sister sandwiches/stores and sandwich breads and buns. We try to 100% some gas stations too, but we also try to microwave our phone batteries. There’s a little bit of car washing, a little bit of standing on your car, and we’re out. It happens fast. Be ready.
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I really don’t have a great reason, but this CORNDOWN seems to revolve around nail clippings. I’m not particularly proud of this. Luckily, whuppy gets things wet, and we grab some (personal) information on the chicken, or this would have been all clippings. There is a good amount of dealing with wet things actually, such as wet chicken, wet bowls, wet rooms, and classic warm and wet. Other than that, Snappy Bakes has some gay dogs, Tiff knows all fifty states, and I’ve been keeping my toilet paper in a bag rather than flush it. That’s about it. If you need me, I’ll be on the temple level.
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This show starts out with a few grapes, a little encouragement, and then a SERIOUS doublecross. Our famous bowls are all messed up, with wrong ingredients and incorrect operation, slamming into the frame at a forty five degree angle. From there, it’s salamanders. Pretty much all salamanders. We got normal salamanders, service salamanders, hotel salamanders. All kinds, really. Couple little lizards too. It’s pretty neat. You should check it out.
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This show starts off strong, as I get a B King to mail a Whopper to my PO box to replace a scratched bun. This leads to wastedmemory having a scratched bag and a creased reciept, and I deal with a pen marked bag. We dabble with some burger sports before discovering the effectivness of reporting non-emergencies. A lot of employees are covering the phone reciever, and that’s not an emergency. There’s all kinds of stuff going on with Benadryl, and that’s not an emergency either. By the end of the show, some shit happens, but we get permission to lie to the hotel, so everything is totally fine.
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Ever got gravy on your neck? Did it leave a tattoo? Of course it did, so you’ll understand the first batch of calls. We also deal with returning calls we never actually got, and move gravy around between KF Chickens like its our job. There’s tall ones, Wild One’s, and I think Tiff is probably a dude with a voice changer. Rosin gets water in his tires, and then I get Pepsi in mine. We play hide and seek, eat on the toilet, mess with some cookies and mailboxes, and we’re out.
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Well, what we have here is a heavily goblin themed show. It starts out with red lights across the board, and settings askew. A goblin is blamed, and then focused on for several calls ranging from goblin meat to a goblin shopper. I do have the surprisingly legitimate premise of telling places we prepaid at the gas station, and we get a loty of mileage out of that. Then back to goblins. We deal with goblin holes, goblins in the parking lot, found goblins lost goblins, until we’ve done literally every goblin call. From there it’s just a matter of spilling soup and getting poop all over everything. And suddenly it’s over.
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The first half is all KF Chicken. We, or rather I start this CORNDOWN with a couple of loose sacks and a classic stuck lid or two. From there I explore the topic of mullet chickens before Whuppy joins in to order some Mullet Chicken of his own. Then we move on to cubes. Chicken cubes, mostly. After that it’s gas station time, where we call to check up on the fact that we sprayed an employee with gasoline last time. I also deal with some dumb capri pants, more mullets, and having my lips read. It just sucks. On the hotel side, we stack up some rooms, meet with the Wise Old Man, and get an invitation to 215. Then we’re out, peek, boom.
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Oh boy, this episode of CORNDOWN starts off with a man trying to take the piss, MY piss. Not acceptable. This quickly gives way to hangout sessions with staff, where we learn several facts about quiktrip employees; they work 10 hour shifts, they get no breaks, and they are happy about it. From there we mess with all the buttons at a quiktrip before settling on messing with the emergency shutoff lever. In the second half we get in arguments about escalators, as well dabble in cages and coffins and chains. Towards the end, Tiff takes a massive dump, which naturally means we talk about poop for the rest of the episode. Obviously.
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Oh wow. This show was a disaster. Partially a national disaster? I don’t know what qualifies, but I deal with heavy ‘technical’ difficulties (I pushed a button by accident), and wastedmemory gets hit with a series of tornadoes. Seriously, mostly. Between all the madness, there’s signals from a lighthouse, gum getting stuck in the carpet, and the further difficulties of laying an egg. There’s also some talk of bad beef jerky, oh and smile fights. Smile fights were good. Of course.
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Well, this is a strange one. First call is about a hidden compartment housing a second beef patty, that’s normal. Second call is over half an hour of yelling at a man who says he reads books. You kinda have to hear it to understand. After that, wasted is having parking issues, and I’m trying to figure out what managers job duties are. It turns out their duties is to be a lifeguard. I told you it’s strange. Second half we deal with hard hallways and the multiple injuries they can cause to the children and the elderly. There’s also some talk of hidden compartments housing beef patties on the second floor. I try to get implicated, Wild-One makes his first call, Whuppy breaks off his fingers, and we’re out. At least it ends normal.
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This one starts with classic lettuce separation. Classic. Next we try to get premium packaging for our burgers, such as chili containers, drink containers, or anything other than paper! We hide food, stash food, get food out of the dumpster, etc. ad nauseum. Really standard stuff, I can’t stress that enough. Somewhere in the first half I get hung up on humane treatment options, (of which there are none) wasted deals with some bad weather, and the squiggles. Oh God, the squiggles. From there we call hotels and blank out a couple receipts, get some bags, sneak in some contraband, and get sassy with toxicwaste. It’s classic, standard, normal, good, normal stuff. Just how I like it.
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It’s a good ol’ fashioned Fish’n’Chips CORNDOWN, as we start strong with french fry themed calls and quickly discover the fun of dropping the fries. We also deal with The Manager of The French Fries (a potatoe), and dabble in finding a firm limit on dogs and skunks. As you can expect, this leads to doing insurance fraud with Wendy’s as your provider, for a variety of tooth related problems that whuppy has. The second half is the fish half because wastedmemory shows up stinking of fish and followed by cats. I also have a couple double memory false memories, or maybe I only have one… We loop back to dog limits, bribe a couple front desk workers, squirt off a skunk, pierce a cats nipples, and we’re out.
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You ever had a Wendy’s cut your crust off without you asking? Because that’s exactly how this CORNDOWN starts. We also discover the buns don’t match; what with being top and bottom and all. Somewhere in there we received a failing grade on the app, but I still have no clue what we did wrong. This leads to some grass roots journalism, a couple of fish fry’s, and a old bread bag. From there we try to get the front desk to destroy stuff for us, and whuppy almost goes to jail after a sneak out call involving the police. Bad whuppy. A few more calls about destroying stuff, couple calls about poop, and we’re out. Another successful show.
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This episode of The CORNDOWN is straight goofy. It starts off with a bunch of goofy sandwiches and goofy fries and six diet cokes. According to wastedmemory, some of the goofy food was donated. I, however, won a bunch of free stuff from the Jamba Juice at the mall. This leads to discussion of the Big Arch sandwich, a little CIA nonsense, some scabs, and cryptic advice not to eat the sandwich. The second half is just as goofy with goofy hotels, goofy parking lots, and more. Wastedmemory gives the great idea to give stuff to kids, and whuppy is at an undisclosed location. It’s business as usual, basically.
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In this episode of CORNDOWN, I start off trying to dress things up a little bit, which leads to several types of complaints about hats on burgers, with a bit of help from someone who sounds like whuppy. From there, we take our kids to watch employees eat at Arby’s, the New Manager Christopher gets some advice via whuppy, and wastedmemory shows up smelling like fish oil. As things close out, extra organs and teeth are found, several new sandwiches are advertised to the front desk, and things nearly go off the rails, but not quite.
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On this CORNDOWN, I keep hitting my head over and over on sandwiches, trying to explain how it happened while wastedmemory adds his own versions of the same kind of injury. That spills into acts of God, like dusty sandwiches, questionable chili, and sisters hogging nuggets, which naturally leads to more injuries and car trouble. In the middle we deal with stop signs, and wake-up calls that need to get way more physical, with whuppy jumping in to argue about rooms, directions, and other bird sounds that don’t really help. By the end it’s ID checks, dropped coins, stupid magic attempts, and one more round of head injuries before everything finally winds down.
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On this CORNDOWN, I get wrapped up in big talk about an oil tycoon and backing each other up, which then turns into arguments about what counts as inappropriate, especially when whuppy keeps jumping in to make it worse. From there I spiral into some deer/cat confusion, a litle hat theft, and we try to verify things that probably didn’t need verifying in the first place. There’s also a bit of fingers getting caught where they shouldn’t be and sandwiches wedged into places when wastedmemory shows up in the second half. Toward the end it shifts into car trouble that keeps escalating into fires, while everyone keeps insisting they’ve got my back even as everything falls apart.
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- Visa fler
