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Summary
This bonus recording is of Kathy Young Deegan reading of 'Blessing for When the Road is Long' by Kate Bowler. It's a spiritual meditation about finding strength in moments of weakness and exhaustion. The piece incorporates biblical references from Jeremiah 6:16 and Isaiah 41, focusing on themes of spiritual guidance, divine support, and finding rest in moments of complete vulnerability.
Highlights
Introduction and Opening Prayer
The opening sets a tone of vulnerability and spiritual seeking as Kathy Young Deegan introduces the blessing's title and author.
Biblical Guidance and Blessing of Weakness
Kathy recites Jeremiah 6:16, emphasizing the importance of seeking ancient paths and divine guidance. She then offers blessings for those who must acknowledge their weakness and surrender their burdens, suggesting that simply existing is enough in moments of struggle.
Finding Rest in Stillness
The blessing describes a profound moment of stillness that becomes a sacred space for divine presence, where rest and wholeness can be found. This section emphasizes the transformative power of complete surrender.
Divine Strength in Human Weakness
The reading concludes with Kathy sharing Isaiah 41's promise of divine support, highlighting the paradoxical truth that God's strength becomes most evident at the point of human weakness.
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Summary
This episode of "Coping" covers different ways people view work, based on Professor Amy Rizinski's research framework. Kathy and Kevin Deegan explore three primary perspectives: work as a job (focused on paycheck), work as a career (focused on advancement), and work as a calling (focused on meaning and fulfillment). The conversation delves into how societal changes have led to people seeking more purpose in their daily work activities. The speakers share personal experiences, including Kevin's journey from working at a pizza parlor to pursuing education, and Kathy's evolution from teaching to finding a greater calling. They emphasize the importance of identifying one's mindset towards work and discuss strategies for discovering one's vocation, including the need to pause and reflect.
Highlights
Introduction to Different Views of Work
Kathy and Kevin introduce the topic of how people view work differently, highlighting three main perspectives: as a paycheck, as a career ladder to climb, or as a vocation/calling. They emphasize the importance of understanding one's view of work to determine future direction.
Work as a Paycheck Perspective
The discussion explores the traditional view of work as means of survival. Kevin shares personal experience working at a pizza parlor in Los Angeles while pursuing acting. They discuss how the paycheck mindset can sometimes conflict with pursuing meaningful work and how focusing solely on money can create a false sense of security.
Career-Oriented Mindset
The discussion continues, examining work as a career, focusing on advancement and professional growth. Kathy shares her journey through education, including obtaining a master's degree in English education and spending 15 years in the education field before seeking greater impact.
Understanding Calling and Vocation
The conversation explores the concept of calling, tracing its etymology to the Latin 'vocatio'. They discuss how the concept has evolved from being exclusively religious to becoming more broadly applicable, emphasizing the connection between finding one's voice and discovering one's calling.
Practical Advice for Finding Your Calling
The speakers provide practical guidance for discovering one's vocation, emphasizing the importance of pausing to reflect and listen to one's life. They discuss balanced approaches to career changes and conclude with Kate Bowler's blessing for when the road is long.
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Summary
Kathy Young-Deegan reads John Donahue's poem 'For the Traveler', which she relates to exploring the road of calling. The poem discusses the sacred nature of journeys, the importance of mindful travel, and the transformative power of new experiences. Through poetic verses, it emphasizes the significance of preparing oneself spiritually and emotionally before embarking on a journey, and the potential for personal growth and transformation that travel offers.
Highlights
Introduction to 'For the Traveler' Poem
Kathy introduces John Donahue's poem 'For the Traveler', connecting it to the exploration of personal calling. She emphasizes how the poem serves as a metaphor for spiritual and personal journeys.
The Sacred Nature of Journey and Inner Preparation
The poem describes how travel brings a new silence and encourages listening to one's heart. It emphasizes the sacred nature of journeys and the importance of blessing one's departure, freeing the heart from burden, and allowing the soul's compass to guide toward spiritual territories.
Mindful Travel and Return
The final verses focus on the importance of traveling with awareness and wisdom, making use of transformative opportunities along the way. It concludes with wishes for safe travel, meaningful experiences, and returning home enriched and better able to appreciate life's ongoing journey.
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Summary
This episode of "Coping" covers what a calling is, and debunks three major misconceptions about it. Kathy and Kevin discuss that calling isn't just for certain people but is universal, and it doesn't always manifest as a clear, dramatic moment. They discuss the difference between jobs (which pay bills), careers (climbing the ladder), and callings (which provide meaning and purpose). The conversation concludes with a reading of John Donahue's poem 'For the Traveler.'
Highlights
Introduction to Calling and Its Evolution The speakers begin by introducing the topic of calling and its importance. They establish that calling isn't static but evolves over time. Statistical evidence is presented showing the evolution of job changes: from 1-2 jobs in 1950, 4-6 in 1980, to a projected 12 jobs by 2025. Yale professor Amy Rosinski's framework is discussed, distinguishing between jobs (for paying bills), careers (ladder climbing), and callings (meaningful purpose).
Myth 1: Calling is Unchanging and Linear
The first myth addressed is that calling remains unchanged throughout life. Kevin emphasizes that people are called, not jobs, and that calling evolves as individuals grow. Kathy uses the metaphor of Russian stacking dolls to illustrate how calling evolves into larger versions while maintaining core identity. Parker Palmer's quote about listening to one's life is referenced to emphasize the connection between calling and identity.
Myth 2: Calling is Only for Other People
The second myth discusses the misconception that calling is only for special individuals. Both speakers share personal experiences: Kathy initially resisted following her family's educational legacy, while Kevin, as a chaplain, notes how people often associate calling only with religious vocations. They emphasize that everyone has a unique purpose to fulfill.
Myth 3: Calling is Always Clear and Obvious
The final myth addresses the misconception that calling appears as a dramatic moment of revelation. The speakers reference Bill Burnett's work on Design Your Life Thinking and discuss how calling often emerges through small moments rather than dramatic 'burning bush' experiences. They emphasize that calling develops through exploration and reflection, with Kevin introducing the concept of 'lowercase c' calling moments versus 'capital C' moments.
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To donate to people in need in Los Angeles, visit these links:
World Central Kitchen
https://wck.orgLos Angeles Food Bank
https://www.lafoodbank.org/Los Angeles Fire Department Foundation
https://supportlafd.org/Summary
This episode of "Coping" covers the devastating fires in Los Angeles and their impact on the community. Kathy and Kevin discuss both the physical and emotional toll of these fires, sharing a personal account from an Altadena resident affected by the Eaton fires. The conversation explores themes of loss, grief processing, and eventual renewal. They emphasize the importance of acknowledging grief, seeking support, and finding opportunities for renewal and community connection in times of crisis. The episode concludes with practical advice for those affected and a prayer for those impacted by the fires.
Highlights
Introduction to LA Fires Discussion
Kathy and Kevin introduce the episode's focus on the Los Angeles fires, acknowledging both the physical destruction and emotional impact on the community. They emphasize the need for compassion and resilience during this crisis.
Personal Account from Altadena Resident
A detailed firsthand account is shared from an Altadena resident affected by the Eaton fires, describing their evacuation experience and the stark contrast between sunlight and smoke-filled darkness. The account highlights the sudden nature of evacuation and the devastating reality of not being able to return home.
Hosts' Personal Experiences with Natural Disasters
Kathy and Kevin share their own experiences with natural disasters, including Kevin's childhood experience with Hurricane Andrew in Miami, which involved months without power and school. They discuss how past traumas can resurface during current crises.
Processing Grief and Finding Support
The conversation continues with the importance of properly processing grief rather than compartmentalizing it, referencing Mindy Caliguire's book 'Ignite Your Soul'. They emphasize the importance of seeking support through counseling, therapy, or trusted friends.
Community Response and Renewal
The discussion concludes with observations about the Los Angeles community's positive response to the crisis, highlighting how residents are supporting each other despite negative online narratives. The episode ends with a prayer about devastation and renewal, emphasizing hope for those affected by the fires.
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Summary
The video covers a poetic meditation titled 'A Blessing for the Broken-Hearted' by Jan Richardson. Kevin Deegan presents a contemplative piece that explores themes of heartbreak, healing, and resilience. The poem challenges common platitudes about pain and healing while offering a unique perspective on how broken hearts continue to function and heal through love.
Kevin:
"A Blessing for the Broken-Hearted" by Jan Richardson:
Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger, or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound when every day our waking opens it anew.
Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this, as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart's sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom, but will save us nonetheless. Amen.
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Summary
This episode of "Coping" centers on the idea of 'Blue Christmas,' exploring how the holiday season can be both joyful and sorrowful for many people. Kathy and Kevin discuss how grief and joy can coexist during the holidays, particularly for those experiencing loss or major life changes. Kevin shares a personal experience from 2020 working as a bedside chaplain during Covid, while Kathy discusses her preference for Thanksgiving over Christmas due to its focus on gratitude.
The conversation includes recommendations for grief support resources, specifically mentioning David Kessler's holiday grief support and Grief Share's 'Surviving the Holidays' program. The episode concludes with a suggested ritual of hanging a blue ornament and shares Jan Richardson's 'Blessing for the Brokenhearted' poem.
Highlights
Introduction to Blue Christmas Concept
The hosts introduce the concept of 'Blue Christmas,' acknowledging that while the holiday season is typically portrayed as joyful, it can be a time of deep sorrow for many. Speaker0 emphasizes that it's acceptable to feel both joy and sadness during the holidays, whether due to recent loss or general struggles.
Personal Experiences with Blue Christmas
Kevin shares his significant Blue Christmas experience from 2020 while working as a hospital chaplain during Covid, feeling disconnected from the holiday spirit. Kathy reflects on her preference for Thanksgiving over Christmas, noting how commercialization has affected the holiday's meaning.
Support Resources and Coping Strategies
The hosts discuss two major grief support resources: David Kessler's holiday grief support sessions and Grief Share's 'Surviving the Holidays' program. Kathy shares a success story about someone who found community through Grief Share, even leading to social activities like cruises with fellow group members.
Closing Ritual and Poetic Reflection
The episode concludes with Kevin suggesting a ritual of hanging a blue ornament on the Christmas tree to acknowledge sadness during the holidays. The hosts share Jan Richardson's 'Blessing for the Brokenhearted' poem, which explores themes of love, grief, and resilience.
Kevin
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of "Coping". Today we're going to center around a powerful theme that speaks to many during this time of year.
Kathy
Yes, today we're going to be talking about the idea of a blue Christmas, and this acknowledges that while the holiday season is often portrayed as joyful and celebratory, for many it's a time of deep sorrow, reflection, and longing.
Kevin
All right, let's get started.
Kevin
So this concept of a blue Christmas reminds us that it's okay not to feel cheerful during the holidays, whether you've experienced a recent loss or a major life change this last year, or you just simply find yourself struggling. The idea of blue Christmas creates space for all of those feelings to exist without judgment.
And I would even say to coexist that you can feel both joy and sadness in this time of year. What do you think about that, Kathy?
Kathy
Yes. I think that we often associate it with Elvis Presley's famous song, but the significance of this of course goes deeper and is felt more strongly depending on what your circumstances are. Churches and communities sometimes hold blue Christmas services as a way to honor grief and create a sacred space for those who need it.
Kevin
Yeah, and you know, whether you are part of a faith community or have your own faith practices at home, these types of rituals often feature quiet reflection, soft lighting, and even specific practices that can validate feelings of sadness, but are intended to offer some hope and comfort in that sense of community and in those rituals that are offered.
And again, they just remind us that grief and joy can coexist. And I think this is an often misconception of grief in general, that the experience of grief happens only one stage at a time, it's like it's a linear experience. And those of you that have been through grief know that the reality is you can feel many emotions within one day and within one moment even.
And so this time of year can bring up all of those emotions, perhaps not just joy, perhaps not just sadness, but a good mix of both.
Kathy
You know, we talk about a season that's supposed to be merry and bright. But like you mentioned, sometimes there's a mix of different things that occur in happy or celebratory times for us. It's that bittersweet that we talk about. Have you ever had a blue Christmas?
Kevin
That's such a good question. I don't think that there is one year in particular that was more blue than others. Well, you know, actually, now that I think of it, I think 2020 is perhaps the pinnacle blue Christmas for me.
Kathy
Sure, sure.
Kevin
At that time, I was working as a bedside chaplain at a hospital that was overrun with Covid, like many were.
And it was the first year that I felt like it wasn't Christmas, that the season really had no meaning. And I felt disconnected from some of the decorations I saw up and around, some of the attire that folks were wearing, like Christmas hats and red.
It just felt so far from the reality of what I was experiencing each day that I didn't know how to feel merry and bright and filled with joy and celebration in that year. And so I think that was the year that was a blue Christmas because it was like a non-existent Christmas. The spirit of the season was just so absent for me. What about for you?
Kathy
I don't know if I could think of an actual blue Christmas, but there have definitely been Christmases that have been hard and heavy for certain, where it didn't feel like that everything, it didn't match the moment of what the season is supposed to be. But I mean, I think the truth of the true story of Christmas is also the same.
We just have commercialized it to, with the Hallmark movies and all of the trappings of Christmas, especially here in this country, which is why it's not my favorite holiday, admittedly. It's why I like Thanksgiving because it's back to the --Thanksgiving focuses more on gratitude and family and meaningful things. And so--
Kevin
You bring up such a great point about how, you know, if you're listening today and you don't have a specific loss that you've had this year or perhaps you can't even think of a major loss in your life, a blue Christmas can still be an experience that you're you're having and it may just be all of those little losses that we carry with us in our lives and the hardships that shape us through year after year and perhaps you're not even sure why you feel a little bit of that tinge of sadness and the invitation from this idea of blue Christmas isn't to to invite all of those authentic feelings that you're feeling this time of year and allow whatever color your spirit is right now that it's okay to feel those feelings in the midst of seeing decorations go up and celebrations go up that we each have to create space for that blue or create space for whatever other color our spirit is this season
Kathy
Yes, exactly. And there are some wonderful resources that can help guide us through the process of navigating grief through the holidays. The first resource we'd like to highlight is Holiday Grief Support with David Kessler. And some of you may know David is one of the world's foremost experts on grief.
His free holiday sessions offer practical strategies to help you honor your loved ones and find meaning during this challenging time.
Kevin
So, David Kessler is a resource that we reference a lot here on this podcast, and I think what's really special about David's work and his approach is that he focuses on finding a balance between grief that is real and present, but also the season that calls for celebration. And he talks about creating new traditions that can honor the past while also embracing the present and still what is to come.
And so I just endorse this holiday grief support group and resources that David Kessler and his team offers. And there's a second resource that is also really beneficial any time of year, but especially now. There's a grief support group called Grief Share, and they have a specific gathering and resources called Surviving the Holidays.
Again, recognizing this idea that the holidays can be merry and bright, but also filled with sadness. And so their program offers workshops. They also have some specifically designed steps that you can take, strategies to navigate all of the complexities of the season and all the emotions that come.
Kathy
Yes, I've known quite a few people who have benefited from Grief Share in our community. Two of the things that -- two of their offerings that are particularly important: one is that they do offer seasonal holiday "coping with the holiday" type workshops, which I think is the importance of planning ahead for when you might be missing your loved one or you're facing a loss, whatever that may be.
And then the second thing about Grief Share is that they exist with ongoing groups. And I personally know someone who lost their wife and grief share literally saved his life because he's able to connect with this community. Last I heard he was going on a cruise with his Grief Share people. So it just really was a place for him to find connection and hope again. So we highly recommend Grief Share.
Kevin
And before we close today, we have a little bit of a homework assignment for you all. If you want to create space for a blue Christmas, I want to encourage you to hang a blue ornament on your Christmas tree somewhere. Whether it's front and center, whether it's off to the side, or just in the background that's at the top or towards the bottom, you find wherever the placement feels right.
We want this ritual of hanging a blue ornament to symbolize you creating space for sadness this time of year.
Kathy
Before we close, we want to share a beautiful reflection that ties into the theme of A Blue Christmas. It's Jan Richardson's "Blessing for the Broken-Hearted" poem, which offers a powerful message about the resilience of love and grief.
Kevin
"A Blessing for the Broken-Hearted: by Jan Richardson. Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger, or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound when every day our waking opens it anew.
Perhaps, for now, it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this, as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart's sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom, but will save us nonetheless. Amen.
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This "Coping" episode covers a guided meditation focused on celebrating daily victories and finding reasons for joy in life's small moments. It encourages the listener to visualize receiving a medal or trophy, raising their arms in victory, and basking in a sense of accomplishment. The meditation emphasizes recognizing and appreciating seemingly mundane occurrences as causes for celebration, such as making a perfect cup of coffee, sunlight creating a prism, or simply getting out of bed. The overall message is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and rejoice in the miracles and victories present in everyday life.
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This bonus podcast covers a blessing for Election Day written by Kate Bowler. It is a prayer seeking divine guidance, peace, and mercy during the election process. The prayer acknowledges the anxiety and potential dangers surrounding the election, and asks for God's protection of truth, justice, and goodness. It calls for honesty, decency, and integrity in the electoral process, and for leaders who will work for the common good. The blessing emphasizes the importance of respect, patience, and the possibility of compromise. It concludes with a message of hope and a call to find joy even in challenging times.
Highlights
Introduction and Initial Prayer
Kathy introduces the blessing for Election Day by Kate Bowler. An unknown speaker then begins the prayer, asking for God's mercy and protection amidst anxiety and potential danger. The speaker quotes Psalm 65:7, highlighting God's power to calm turmoil.
Prayer for the Election Process
The prayer continues, asking for blessings on the land and the election process. It calls for honesty, decency, and integrity in all aspects of the election. The speaker emphasizes the need for respectful listening and the possibility of compromise.
Prayer for Leadership and Unity
The blessing asks for leaders who will work for the common good, seek reconciliation, and unite the country. It emphasizes the need to protect vulnerable and fearful individuals.
Conclusion and Call to Action
The prayer concludes with a call to trust in God's guidance and strength. It encourages listeners to pray and then find someone to laugh with, emphasizing that there is still time. The blessing ends with a quote from Romans 15:13, focusing on hope, joy, and peace through faith.
Kathy
Blessing for Election Day, by Kate Bowler:
Oh God, we are anxious as we stand at the edge of so much opportunity, so much danger. God, calm our fears, protect us, and all that is true and just and good. God, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.
Spirit, have mercy. God, you still the roaring of the seas, the pounding of the waves, and the tumult of the nations. Psalm 65:7. God, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Spirit, have mercy. Blessed are we to turn to you and pray.
Oh God, bless our lands, and through this whole election inspire honesty in every intention, decency in every action, integrity in every decision, and the healing of every division. Grant us grace to respect others and listen patiently in a way that restores the possibility of change and creative compromise.
Blessed are we who ask that you establish stability and peace through leaders who will work for the good of us all, who will seek reconciliation and unite our country in a way forward together to shelter those who are vulnerable, hurting, and afraid.
Blessed are we who trust You to stand by us, strengthen us, and guide us by the light of your wisdom and love. God have mercy, Christ have mercy, Spirit have mercy. Pray once, then find someone to laugh with you.
There is time. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that with the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13. Amen.
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This podcast episode of 'Coping' discusses election anxiety and anticipatory coping strategies. Hosts Kevin and Kathy explore four types of anticipatory coping: problem analysis, plan rehearsal, stagnant deliberation, and outcome fantasy. They discuss their personal experiences with political engagement and share insights on managing election-related stress. The episode is timed to coincide with an upcoming general election. The hosts reference a research study on combating election stress and its impact on daily physical health. They emphasize the importance of engagement, planning, and avoiding negative coping mechanisms. The episode concludes with a blessing for Election Day by Kate Bowler.
Highlights
Introduction to Election Anxiety
Kevin and Kathy introduce the episode, explaining its early release due to an upcoming general election on Tuesday. Kathy notes the high tension surrounding the election, regardless of political affiliation. Kevin mentions that election anxiety is a real phenomenon.
Anticipatory Coping Strategies
The hosts introduce the concept of four types of anticipatory coping strategies for managing election-related stress. Kathy asks Kevin about his family's approach to discussing world events, to which Kevin responds that his family didn't engage much in political discussions. In contrast, Kathy shares that her family, with her father being a political science professor, was highly engaged in political discussions nightly.
Research Study on Election Stress
Kevin introduces a research article titled 'Combating Election Stress, Anticipatory Coping, and Daily Self-Reported Physical Health' by Brittany Johnson and Siobhan Newpert. Kathy explains that the study, conducted during the 2018 midterm elections with 140 respondents, aimed to measure the effect of anticipatory coping strategies on anxiety levels.
Problem Analysis as a Coping Strategy
Kevin explains the first anticipatory coping strategy: problem analysis. This involves actively contemplating the antecedents and meaning of future stressful situations without trying to solve the problem. Kathy shares her experience using this strategy, including spending over two hours researching propositions for the California election.
Plan Rehearsal as a Coping Strategy
Kevin introduces plan rehearsal as the second coping strategy, which involves envisioning steps to achieve a desired outcome. He gives examples related to voting plans. Kathy emphasizes the importance of having a plan to reduce anxiety and shares her experience helping her sons in another state plan their voting process over four weeks.
Negative Coping Strategies: Stagnant Deliberation and Outcome Fantasy
The hosts discuss two negative coping strategies. Kathy explains stagnant deliberation as dwelling repetitively on a problem without progress. Kevin likens it to rumination. For outcome fantasy, Kevin describes it as daydreaming about desired outcomes while ignoring problem-solving details. Kathy notes that she's observed this more commonly among female students and emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing this tendency.
Conclusion and Election Day Blessing
Kevin summarizes the four coping strategies and encourages listeners to engage in problem analysis and plan rehearsal while avoiding negative strategies. Kathy emphasizes the importance of being involved and voting. The episode concludes with a blessing for Election Day by Kate Bowler, focusing on seeking God's guidance and mercy during the election process.
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The final episode of season 4 of “Coping” discusses the spiritual practice of celebration as outlined in Adele Calhoun's book 'Spiritual Disciplines'. Learn about the importance of celebration, gratitude, and remembering God's faithfulness, even during difficult times. The discussion concludes with a guided celebration meditation.
Highlights
Introduction and Milestone Reflection
Kathy and Kevin acknowledge reaching the milestone of 107 episodes and the end of the 4th season of their podcast 'Coping'. They express gratitude for the podcast's evolution and their partnership, reflecting on the work and resources invested in producing the episodes.
Childhood Experiences with Celebration
We share our childhood experiences with celebration, including typical celebrations like birthdays, holidays, and gatherings with family.
Spiritual Practice of Celebration
We discuss Adele Calhoun's book 'Spiritual Disciplines' and the chapter on celebration as a spiritual practice, highlighting the idea that God celebrates and that celebration can enlarge one's capacity to enjoy and serve God, even in imperfect circumstances.
Daily and Weekly Celebration Practices
Learn about our daily and weekly celebration practices, such as sharing sweet treats, reflecting on photo memories from previous years, and expressing gratitude. It is important to celebrate, even during difficult times, as a way to find joy and connection.
Monthly and Yearly Celebration Traditions
We discuss their monthly practice of celebrating their anniversary and their annual 'Year in Review' tradition. This involves reflecting on the past year through a series of prompts, remembering challenges and victories, and expressing gratitude.
Importance of Celebration and Remembrance
Kathy and Kevin emphasize the significance of celebration and remembrance in building faith, hope, and courage for the future. They discuss how reflecting on God's faithfulness in the past provides strength and hope for present and future challenges.
Celebration Meditation
The episode concludes with a guided celebration meditation adapted from Heidi Coker. The meditation encourages listeners to acknowledge and celebrate daily victories and miracles, visualizing receiving a medal or trophy and basking in the moment of joy.
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This blessing covers nine sacred spiritual pathways, each tailored to different ways of connecting with the divine. It acknowledges the diverse spiritual needs and inclinations of individuals, offering guidance and affirmation for each pathway. Please enjoy!
May naturalists find the creator in nature's beauty, seeing God's cathedral in the grand expanse, and find renewal in the beauty of creation.
May sensates experience the divine through every sense, feeling God's presence in worship melodies and sacred art's beauty.
May rituals and symbols of faith deepen ascetics' experience of the divine and be a source of strength and inspiration.
May solitude and simplicity bring traditionalists closer to the divine, and may their lives testify to simplicity and devotion.
May intellectuals' pursuit of knowledge and wisdom bring them closer to God, and may their knowledge enrich and bless others.
May caregivers' acts of service and kindness reflect God's love, and may their service bring joy and fulfillment to those in need.
May the mysteries and celebrations of faith fill enthusiasts' spirits with awe and wonder, and may their journey be marked by joy and reverence.
May contemplatives' reflections and stillness bring them closer to the divine, and may they find peace in God's presence.
May activists' advocacy and efforts for justice reflect God's love and righteousness, and may their actions be guided by compassion and faith.
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In this episode of “Coping”, Kevin and Kathy discuss various spiritual pathways and practices for nurturing one's soul and faith. We discuss Gary Thomas's book 'Sacred Pathways' which outlines nine different pathways: naturalists, sensates, traditionalists, aesthetics, intellectuals, caregivers, enthusiasts, contemplatives, and activists. Also provided is an overview of each pathway and our personal experiences and suggesting practical ways to engage with each one.
It is important to find practices that resonate with one's unique spiritual needs and Be Well Resources encourages listeners to explore the pathways further through the book and accompanying resources.
Spiritual pathways quiz: https://groupleaders.org/curriculum-feed/spiritual-pathways-activity#personal-assessment
Be Well Resources Pathways Guide: https://www.canva.com/design/DAFys-kZ0Dc/qRxkNIbbJIvU3V0xs1fJaw/edit?utm_content=DAFys-kZ0Dc&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton
Gary Thomas, “Sacred Pathways” book: https://www.amazon.com/shop/actorkevin/list/33DKQI838HB65?linkCode=spc&tag=kevindeegan-20&domainId=influencer&asc_contentid=amzn1.ideas.33DKQI838HB65
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Kevin Deegan reads a meditation titled 'Blessing in the Chaos' by Jan Richardson. It is a calming and introspective piece that encourages the reader to find stillness and peace amidst the chaos and distractions of life.
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This episode of the "Coping" podcast covers a discussion on the importance of soul care and the common excuses people make for not prioritizing it. Hosts Kathy and Kevin acknowledge that while the excuses like lack of time, discomfort with being alone, fear of silence, and inability to stop are valid, they provide practical tips and assignments to overcome these barriers. The key takeaway is that even small pockets of intentional time for soul-nourishing activities can have significant benefits for overall well-being.
Highlights
Introduction and Excuses for Lack of Soul Care
The video introduces the topic of soul care and acknowledges the valid reasons or 'excused absences' that prevent people from practicing it, such as lack of time, discomfort with being alone, fear of silence, and inability to stop or disconnect from devices and constant busyness.
Excuse 1: Lack of Time
The speakers discuss the common excuse of not having enough time for soul care due to work and other responsibilities. They suggest that even small pockets of 10 minutes can be carved out for soul-nourishing activities, such as during school pickups or commutes.
Excuse 2: Discomfort with Being Alone
The speakers address the excuse of not liking to be alone, which is often confused with loneliness. They encourage scheduling a 'soul date' with oneself to engage in enjoyable activities alone, as this can lead to feeling more refreshed and present.
Excuse 3: Fear of Silence
The speakers discuss the fear of silence as an excuse for avoiding soul care. They suggest taking a walk or drive without any noise or distractions, focusing only on natural sounds, as a way to practice entering silence and improve listening skills.
Excuse 4: Inability to Stop
The final excuse addressed is the difficulty in stopping and disconnecting from constant busyness and technology. The speakers recommend a 'phone fast' for one hour a day, handing the phone to a loved one, to create space for being present and engaged in soul-nourishing activities.
Closing Thoughts and Meditation
The video concludes by emphasizing the importance of making time for soul care, even if it's just small pockets of time, and the benefits it can bring to overall well-being. A meditation from Jan Richardson is shared, encouraging listeners to find stillness and peace amidst the chaos.
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Listen as Kathy reads a poetic reflection called, "On Time" by Ruth Haley Barton, on the importance of slowing down and savoring life's moments. Consider this in your own practice of self care, or if you don't yet have your own, please feel free to use this as a starting point.
Kathy: I just invite you now to think about the words of this poem and check in with your soul. It is called "On Time" and it's by Ruth Haley Barton:
There have to be times in your life when you move slow. Times when you walk rather than run, settling into each step. There have to be times when you stop and gaze admiredly at loved ones, marveling that they have been given to you for this life. Times when hugs linger and kisses are real. When food and drink are savored with gratitude and humility, rather than gulp down on your way to something else.
There have to be times when you read for the sheer pleasure of it, marveling at the beauty of words and endless creativity in putting them together. Times when you settle into the comforts of home and become human once again. There have to be times when you light a candle and find the tender place inside you that loves or sorrows or sings and you pray from that place. Times when you let yourself feel, when you allow the tears to come, rather than blinking them back because you don't have time to cry.
There have to be times to sink into the soft body of yourself and love what you love simply because love itself is a grace. Times when you sit with gratitude for the good gifts of your life that get lost and forgotten in the rush of things. Times to celebrate and play, to roll down hills, to splash in water or make leaf piles, to spread paint on paper or walls or each other. There have to be times to sit and wait for the fullness of God that replenishes body, mind and soul. If you can even stand to be so full, there has to be time for the fullness of time or time is meaningless.
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Summary
Kevin and Kathy discuss the concept of 'soul care' and practices to nurture one's soul. Their discussion explores the importance of solitude, silence, and stillness as means to connect with one's inner self and find peace amidst the distractions and noise of daily life. Interspersed are helpful personal anecdotes, practical tips, and a poem that encourages slowing down and appreciating the present moment.
Kevin
Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Coping. We took off a few weeks ago, giving you all a vacation and we also took a vacation ourselves.
Kathy
Yes, and we thought it was a great time to begin a new series we're calling Summer Soul Care. I wonder, Kevin, what comes to your mind when you think about soul care?
Kevin
Well, I work in a hospital, and our department is called the spiritual care department. So I actually spend a lot of time thinking about spiritual care, soul care, and how to do that effectively, especially for those who are sick and in the hospital setting. So the first thing that comes to mind for me is something that's active, to make sure that when you care for either your own soul or somebody else's soul, it's an action that you do, a practice that you take, something that you offer that's tangible.
Kathy
Hmm. Yeah, that's a good and easy, practical way to think about it. And especially as we're thinking about our souls, we can link it to something that we'll be doing. So let's get started.
Kathy
So one of our favorite podcasters and authors, her name is Ruth Haley Barton. She writes this quote, I really love this thought provoking quote. She says, "losing your soul is sort of like losing a credit card. You think it's in your wallet or purse, so you don't give it much thought until one day you reach for it and you can't find it.
Kathy
The minute you realize it's gone, you start scrambling to find it, trying to remember when you lost it or last used it or at least had it in your possession. No matter what is going on in your life, you have to stop and look for it because otherwise there could be major damage done.
Kathy
Some of us know that we are losing bits and pieces of our souls every day and we are scared to death that we might be very close to going over an edge." So as a chaplain, how have you experienced this with those you serve?
Kevin
Yeah, this is something I help patients wrestle with on a daily basis. The reality is most people don't give a lot of thought to their spiritual life, to their souls. It's only when we are sick, when we are ill and in pain, that we look for strength and often look inward for that strength to be able to push through and to cope with whatever we're going through.
Kevin
And so what happens, like that analogy that's so vivid and so true about the credit card, if you haven't been investing into that fund, you don't have the funds to tap into on that card and that soul, then you find yourself not being able to use it when you need it most.
Kevin
And, you know, my belief is that we never lose our soul, we never go to a point where we don't have it. But if we're not investing in it, then it's certainly not going to be valuable to us when we perhaps need it most. And so when we encounter somebody who has deficient funds on their card or in their spiritual life, it's a chaplain's job to come alongside them and to help them tap into their strengths in their life, to help them connect to their faith practices, their rituals, the things that give their life meaning so that they could begin to cope with their illness and then find a pathway to healing that encompasses not just their physical body, but their emotional, spiritual mental selves as well.
Kathy
Yes, that sounds very practical and helpful. And like you said, it often doesn't happen until the body begins shutting down. A part of ourselves is not working, that we then begin to think about that.
Kevin
For sure that's exactly it. Whenever one part of ourselves feels deficient we tap into the other parts of ourselves to find what we're missing. I wonder for you as a coach where do you see this in the lives of your students?
Kathy
Well, I think they're like most people not thinking about their souls, like they don't have time to or they don't know what that looks like or what that means. And so if there's no awareness about soul care and practices, then you can't move forward. You can't, like you said, you won't have anything to show in those times where you need it the most. And so today we want to discuss the first three S's of soul care in hopes of beginning this discussion.
Kathy
So the first S is solitude. And we're going to define solitude as uninterrupted alone time in a distraction free environment. Uninterrupted alone time in a distraction free environment. It's kind of a joke where we think, what? Which environment is distraction-free these days? But what are your thoughts on solitude and how do you think that we can find this in the busyness of our world?
Kevin
Yeah, what you pointed out in that definition is what stood out to me is the distraction free environment. I can't think of an environment that is distraction free. Likewise, we fill our lives with a lot of positive distractions as well, friends, family, hobbies, things that we like to do.
Kevin
But solitude is that practice that we are intentionally letting go of those things that keep us busy, that keep us distracted from what's actually going on inside. And it becomes the way that we cope with our pain and our lives being the way that they are so hectic and crazy is by continually moving from one thing to the next to keep our mind busy so it's not flooded with those deeper, harder feelings that are conjuring inside. And so it's definitely a hard one. But something that comes to mind is the need to sacrifice something to find that solitude often will require saying no to things or to people and creating that intentional space for that solitude.
Kathy
And in our community, what we talk about that might be helpful is to actually schedule in times of solitude. One homework assignment – and our listeners can do this – this week is to schedule a soul date for themselves where they can enter into the solitude. I would say that doesn't have to be long. It can be 20 minutes. It doesn't have to be, oh, I don't have an entire day. It can be a short period of time. It could be 20 minutes. And the best thing about entering into solitude, the best benefit we have from solitude is that it allows us after we've been in solitude to be more present.
Kevin
And that leads us well into our next S of soul care, is silence. And so we define silence as abstaining from speaking, reading and noise in order to be quiet. Gosh, I'm thinking about how noisy my work is, how noisy the world is, the freeways are, the news is, my phone can be, gosh, Kathy, how do we find silence in this day and age?
Kathy
Another good question, the first thing I would say is I think everyone needs to stop and think about how they feel about silence. Does it make you nervous if things are too quiet? Are we okay with there being no noise or background music or background TV? We turn on all of these things to avoid the silence, so I think it's important to have a little conversation with ourselves to determine how we feel about the silence, and if we're giving ourselves permission to enter the silence, then silence practices will be beneficial to us.
Kevin
That's so true. And I think just from personal experience, learning to be comfortable with silence. For most people, I think they're adverse to being in silence because the silence isn't silent. When you're starting off trying to be silent, that's where all the noise comes up with your thoughts, your feelings, all of those fears and concerns, the worries, the to-do list, everything starts to rush in when you create that space and that silence. And so if you find yourself struggling to find that silence, even when you're being intentional about it, my encouragement is to keep trying.
Kevin
Keep creating that space for silence. You can keep a pad of paper next to you so that if thoughts and things that you need to remember flood in in those moments of silence, write them down and then move back to your silent place again. It's so important that we continue to practice silence, knowing that it's a hard thing to do and continue to go back to it again and again because after we move through all of that noise that floods in when we are silent, on the other side of that is that peaceful silence that I think that we're all craving.
Kathy
100% true. And yeah, the notebook is a really good idea. And then if you like to be active when you're trying to enter the silence, this is one that I do often is you can go on a walk without any music. But what you can do is listen to the sounds that you hear on your walk. You can start counting them. You can start cataloging them. Really what you are doing is you are entering silence, even though it sounds like you're not because you're hearing noises, but you're allowing the natural sounds to enter in instead of what we typically have are the distracted noises of the world entering in.
Kathy
So if you're going on this walk, it's a very good way. Maybe it's like a bridge to entering silent places. This is like a really good way to do it as well. And the main benefit from entering into silence when you do these practices is that then we're actually attuning our ears to listen.
Kevin
And attuning our ears to listen to self, all of those things that we push down and we're moving away from, those difficult feelings and thoughts. But when we learn to listen to self, we then are better able to listen to others and what their experiences are and be present to them in their pain and their story. And that leads us into our last S for this episode. And our third S is stillness. How are we defining stillness?
Kathy
Stillness is defined as "to stop, cease, desist, and disconnect from the outside world".
Kevin
Man, these are getting harder and harder, aren't they? They seem to also be building on one another. How do we get to this third S of stillness?
Kathy
Well, there's I think something that's been the theme of our discussion today is that there needs to be a lot of intentionality around this practice. So believe it or not, you may or may not know about this feature on your phone. It's called Do Not Disturb. And guess what? We can turn it on. And one practice that you can do is to turn it on on your phone for an hour a day. Put on Do Not Disturb on your phone and allow the stillness to come in as you disconnect.
Kathy
It doesn't mean that you're just going to be still during that time, but you're disconnecting from that usual hustle, bustle, chaos, noise. You could do something else in the stillness. It's not that you have to sit still. Notice that's not what we said. But the major benefit from entering into stillness is that we can become better engaged after being still.
Kathy
So out of these three, solitude, silence, or stillness, which one do you think is easiest for you?
Kevin
Gosh. I've had a lot of practice with silence, learning to be silent, and to tune into that silence. So I think that that's probably the one that's easiest for me. It's the hardest to find, but when it's there, I feel very comfortable with it, if that makes sense. What about for you?
Kathy
Uh, the easiest, and again, these aren't easy, but they come more naturally if you keep practicing, um, I would say is solitude because I really now look forward to times when nobody is at home, like, um, I think it was an hour today of no one being here so that I can enter into the solitude.
Kevin
Right. And which one's difficult for you?
Kathy
I think stillness is still hard for me. I'm the one telling you to put on do not disturb. The reason is, is I am such a breaking news type of person that, and especially these days, we've had a lot of breaking news that has been very important to our world that I don't want to miss out. It's the FOMO, that's terrible. But like, you're gonna miss out on hearing something or a text message or someone was trying to call you, but in the days when we didn't have technology, we all just waited.
Kathy
I lived during that time period. It was totally fine that we didn't find out for three hours about the breaking news or whatever it was, nothing happened. And it was actually all better because then we were all more, we weren't on this 24 hours a day, seven days a week, nonstop, chaotic, stressful rollercoaster of what we all are living on right now.
Kevin
And so to end our podcast today, we'd like to invite everybody to take a moment to do their own soul check-in. And so I'm going to hand it over to Kathy, who will lead us through that.
Kathy
Yes, I just invite you now to think about the words of this poem and check in with your soul. It is called "On Time" and it's by Ruth Haley Barton.
There have to be times in your life when you move slow. Times when you walk rather than run, settling into each step. There have to be times when you stop and gaze admiredly at loved ones, marveling that they have been given to you for this life.
Times when hugs linger and kisses are real. When food and drink are savored with gratitude and humility, rather than gulp down on your way to something else. There have to be times when you read for the sheer pleasure of it, marveling at the beauty of words and endless creativity in putting them together.
Times when you settle into the comforts of home and become human once again. There have to be times when you light a candle and find the tender place inside you that loves or sorrows or sings and you pray from that place.
Times when you let yourself feel, when you allow the tears to come rather than blinking them back because you don't have time to cry. There have to be times to sink into the soft body of yourself and love what you love simply because love itself is a grace.
Times when you sit with gratitude for the good gifts of your life that get lost and forgotten in the rush of things. Times to celebrate and play, to roll down hills, to splash in water or make leaf piles, to spread paint on paper or walls or each other.
There have to be times to sit and wait for the fullness of God that replenishes body, mind and soul. If you can even stand to be so full, there has to be time for the fullness of time or time is meaningless.
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Summary
In this short episode, Kevin guides you through a relaxing journey to an imaginary beach. Engage your senses by imagining the warm sand, blue sky, gentle waves, and refreshing ocean breeze. Immerse yourself as you create a place of tranquility that you can return to anytime you need.
Kevin
Now that the summer season is upon us, we could all use a vacation. Join me now in a meditation vacation. Before we begin, find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. I invite you to close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, feeling your lungs completely.
Hold it for a moment and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Let's repeat this a few times. Breathe in through your nose, hold it, exhale through your mouth. Breathing in, hold, exhale. Continue breathing now in a comfortable rhythm. And let's go to the oceanside.
Imagine yourself standing at the shore of a beautiful beach. Feel the warmth of the golden sand beneath your feet. Notice how the grains of sand move gently between your toes and around your heels. The sand is warm, comforting, and grounding. As you stand here, take in your surroundings.
The sky above is a brilliant shade of blue, with gentle white clouds drifting by. The sun is shining brightly on your skin. Its warmth envelops your body, making you feel at ease. Take a moment to listen to the rhythmic sounds of the waves as they gently lap against the shore.
The ocean stretches out before you as a deep blue and turquoise. The sound of the waves are soothing; a natural symphony that calms your mind. Feel that gentle breeze blowing in from the ocean, carrying with it the faint scent of salt and sea.
This breeze cools your skin, bringing refreshment as it rustles the leaves of nearby palm trees. Now, begin to walk slowly along the shoreline. With each step, feel the cool, damp sand beneath your feet.
As you walk, notice how every so often a gentle wave makes its way to the shore, washing your feet up to your ankles. The water is pleasant and cool, a perfect contrast to the warmth of the sun and sand.
As you walk, turn your gaze to the horizon, where the sea meets the sky. Notice the subtle changes in color, the way the blues blend into a beautiful gradient green. A few seagulls soar overhead, their calls echoing softly in the distance, enhancing the peaceful soundscape.
Now, arrive to a spot where you feel comfortable to sit down. Feel the sand mold to your body, supporting you as you relax. Take a deep breath in and exhale. Let go of any remaining tension in your body.
Allow yourself to fully embrace this moment of tranquility. Imagine yourself lying back on the sand, looking up at the sky. Watch as the clouds drift by, slowly changing shapes and sizes. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, and let it soothe any lingering stress or worry.
Stay here for a while. Let the sights, sounds, and sensations fill you with a sense of calm and relaxation.
Know that you can return to this place anytime you need to find peace. When you're ready, slowly bring your awareness back to your physical surroundings. Start by moving your fingers and toes and gently stretch your body.
And let's take one last deep breath in and as you exhale, open your eyes. Notice the physical space around you and what's changed inside of you. I hope you're feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. May you carry this sense of calm wherever you go.
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Summary
This episode of “Coping” discusses the concept of a 'courage quotient' and presents seven acts of courage that individuals can rate themselves on, from 1 (weakest) to 7 (strongest). These acts include having a vision and dreams, seeing reality, confronting issues, accepting criticism, taking risks, being vulnerable, and following through on actions. Take time now to see where you stand, reflect on your strengths and areas for improvement regarding these acts of courage.
Kathy
When we talk about each act, I want you to think about on a scale of one to seven, one being the weakest, seven being the strongest, you're going to rate yourself to find your courage quotient.
Kevin
Number one: Do you have vision, goals and dreams? Then you may have the first act of courage. The courage to dream and to express it.
Kathy
So go ahead and rate yourself on the courage to dream.
Kevin
Number two: Do you have the ability to see truth and not have blinders on? Then you may have the second act of courage -- the courage to see reality.
Kathy
Rate yourself from one to seven on the ability to see truth.
Kevin
Number three: Do you have the ability to speak up? Speak truth to power and confront? Perhaps you have the third act of courage -- the courage to confront.
Kathy
What's your score on the courage to confront? Write it down.
Kevin
Number four: Maybe you are able to take critique and constructive criticism well. Then, you may have the fourth act of courage -- the courage to be confronted.
Kathy
Rate yourself on how well you can be confronted.
Kevin
Number five: are you able to step into the unknown and take risks? Then maybe you're able to exercise the fifth act of courage, the courage to learn and grow.
Kathy
How do you score on stepping into the unknown and taking risks?
Kevin
Number six. Perhaps you have the ability to be vulnerable with others, tell the truth of your story, and also ask for help. This exercise is the sixth act of courage, the courage to be vulnerable.
Kathy
Rate your vulnerability score now.
Kevin
And number seven. Maybe you have practiced the ability to step up and follow through. Then you are exercising the seventh act of courage, the courage to act.
Kathy
Rate your score for the seventh act of courage, the courage to act.
So good job everyone. What's your overall courage quotient? As you score yourself, which act of courage came easiest for you? And which one do you need some work on this week? Thanks so much for joining us for another episode of "Coping", and whatever you may be coping with, blessings to you.
- Visa fler
