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Episode Summary
Somatic movement is a great complement to breathwork and assists to create safety in the body. In this episode of the Cope Well Podcast, I share what somatic movement is, why it works from a nervous system perspective, and walk through three simple grounding movements you can use right after your next breathwork practice - no mat, no flexibility required.
Key Insights
* Somatic = body-based. Somatic movement practices work by sending signals directly to your nervous system through physical sensation - not through thought or willpower.
* Stress lives in the body. Anxiety and stress create physical tension that doesn’t always resolve on its own. Intentional movement helps complete what researchers call the “stress cycle.”
* You don’t need to feel it to benefit. These movements work even when anxiety feels subtle. Think of them as maintenance, not just crisis tools.
* The three movements in this episode:
* Shoulder Shrugs & Drops: mirrors the body’s bracing response and consciously releases it, signaling safety to the nervous system
* Spinal Sway: gentle side-to-side movement activates the spine’s direct communication line between brain and body
* Foot Press & Release: grounding through the feet activates your sense of orientation and physical safety
* Pair it with breathwork. Starting with slow breathing (try 4-count inhale, 6-count exhale) primes your nervous system to receive the benefits of somatic movement more fully.
What You’ll Learn
* What “somatic” means and why it matters for anxiety and stress
* How the nervous system responds to intentional physical movement
* 3 beginner-friendly somatic movements for grounding and regulation
* How to build a breathwork + movement regulation practice
Listen Next: Part 2 Somatic Tools for High-Activation States (shake, self-hold, orient)
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In Part 2 of this series on Cope Well: Mindful Behavior Therapy Tools for Increased Calm and Happiness, we move from the why of breathwork into the how.
Mindfulness isn’t just a stress management trend. It’s your pathway back to your highest self, the version of you that is calm, clear, and deeply connected to God and purpose. When you combine intentional breathing with present-moment awareness, you’re not just managing anxiety. You’re stepping into transformation.
In this episode you’ll learn:
* How mindfulness connects you to your highest self and to God
* Why breathwork and mindfulness are two sides of the same healing practice
* The breathing technique I recommend to my new clients
* How regulation skills can be learned at any stage of life
New to the series? Start with Episode 1 to build the foundation before this practice.
CTA:
Ready to keep going? Join our Skool community, Mental Health Coping Tools - a space built for people who are serious about healing, growth, and living with more calm and intention. Inside you’ll find mindfulness practices, breathwork tools, and a supportive community walking the same path.
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In this episode I share why breathwork is the foundation of emotional healing and nervous system regulation, as well as the divine connection it holds. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected… this is where we start.
Your breath isn’t just biology. It’s sacred. Ancient wisdom has always known what science now confirms: intentional breathing is one of the most powerful tools we have for calming the mind, regulating the body, and reconnecting with God.
In this episode you’ll learn:
* Why breath is the first tool taught to my new clients
* How shallow breathing keeps your nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight
* The spiritual significance of breath as our connection to God and our highest self
* Why mindfulness and breathwork are inseparable on the healing journey
Want to go deeper? Join my free community, Mental Health Coping Tools, on Skool: your go-to space for mindfulness practices, breathwork tools, and real support for your healing journey. I’d love to see you there.
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Mindfulness isn’t about feeling calm - it’s about creating space between what you feel and what you do. In this minisode, we break down exactly what mindfulness is, why your feelings don’t have to drive your reactions, and a simple 3-step practice you can start today: Pause. Name it. Breathe.
🎓 Ready to go deeper? My Mindfulness & Emotional Regulation Audio Course is inside the Cope Well Skool community - learn at your own pace alongside caregivers and parents who get it. 🔗Mental Health Coping Tools Skool Community
Keywords: mindfulness for beginners, emotional regulation, mindfulness for parents, special needs caregiver mental health, cope well podcast, behavior therapy skills, how to start mindfulness, breathing techniques for anxiety, mindfulness practice, Skool community mental health, responding vs reacting, caregiver burnout tools
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If you’re raising a child with big needs, your nervous system is working overtime -often before the day even starts. In this episode, we get honest about why caregivers are so depleted, and share two simple, science-backed tools you can use today: one to build a regulated baseline before the chaos hits, and one to create space in the moments that matter most.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving your body a fighting chance.
In this episode:
* Why caregivers get stuck in survival mode
* A 3-breath practice to start your day regulated
* How to identify your personal triggers before they hijack your response
* The in-the-moment pause: using breath to buy your brain 30 seconds
* Why regulation is the foundation - for you, and for your child
Timestamps:
* 0:00 — Welcome + what this episode is for
* 0:45 — Why regulation comes before strategy
* 1:45 — The school morning reset: 3 breaths before the chaos
* 2:45 — Knowing your triggers: the first step to changing your response
* 3:45 — The in-the-moment pause: breathing before you react
* 4:30 — Two tools, three breaths, and where to go next
Try this today:
Morning reset - Before anyone else wakes up, take 3 slow breaths: inhale for 4 counts, hold briefly, exhale for 6+ counts. Signal to your body: we’re safe, we can handle this.
In-the-moment pause - When you feel a trigger activate, pause and take 3 slow breaths before responding. That 30 seconds brings your thinking brain back online.
Join Mental Health Coping Tools on Skool
Weekly nervous system reset practices. Guided breathwork sessions. A community of caregivers who actually get it - because they’re living it too. This is where overwhelmed parents come to stop struggling through the day and start building real, lasting regulation.
👉 Mental Health Coping Tools Skool Community
Keywords: nervous system regulation, breathwork for parents, special needs caregiver support, mental health coping tools, emotional regulation for parents, parenting stress relief, school morning routines, caregiver burnout, mindfulness for parents, mental health
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Coping kits are essential for mental and emotional wellness, yet most families don’t know where to start. In this episode, we break down exactly what a coping kit is, why it matters for parents and kids, and how to build one that feels personal and effective.
What we cover:
* What a coping kit is and why it works
* Why every parent needs one - especially under stress
* 7 tool categories to consider
* How to personalize each tool so it actually resonates with you or your child
* Real examples including: a Taylor Swift–inspired coping kit
Takeaway tip: Pick one item to add to your coping kit this week. Just one.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
Know Your Coping
We all cope. The question is - how? This episode breaks down the difference between helpful and harmful coping strategies, names some of the sneaky ones we don’t always recognize (hello, blame and avoidance), and offers a more empowering framework for navigating hard situations. Includes a personal share about recognizing avoidance patterns and learning to sit with emotions instead.
Key Concepts: Conscious vs. unconscious coping · Avoidance · Blame as avoidance · Self-awareness · Emotional processing
Reflection prompts: What do I reach for when things get hard? Is it helping or hurting? What is this situation trying to teach me?
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
Negative thought spirals — especially at night — are one of the most common struggles shared in our community. This episode walks through a practical, step-by-step approach: starting with awareness and reframing, and shifting to distraction and replacement when the brain isn’t resourced to do more (including the science of why 3–5 AM spirals hit differently). Includes a recommendation for Yoga Nidra with embedded theta waves for sleepless nights.
Key Concepts: Negative thought loops · Cognitive reframing · Dialectical thinking · Distraction as a tool · Sleep & thought regulation · Theta waves
Tools recommended: Insight Timer · Yoga Nidra recording · Sleep stories · Guided meditation
Key principle: You can’t just remove a negative thought. You have to replace it with something.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
Episode Summary
When emotions feel overwhelming, our instinct is to turn inward, but that can keep us stuck.
In this episode, I share a simple and often overlooked DBT skill: contributing. Doing something kind or helpful for someone else can shift your focus, regulate your nervous system, and build a sense of purpose - for both you and your kids.
Key Takeaways
* Contributing shifts you out of emotional spirals by moving your focus outward
* It builds self-efficacy (the belief that you can make a difference)
* Kindness improves mental health - this is backed by research
* Small acts are enough (and more effective than big ones)
* Giving without recognition can feel especially regulating
Try This
Do one small act of kindness this week - without expecting anything in return.
Then notice:
* How you feel
* What shifts internally
* The impact on others
Reflection
* What’s one way I can contribute today?
* How do I feel after helping someone else?
* How can I help my child or students practice this skill?
Small actions create meaningful change.
Cope well.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
In this inspiring “minisode”, Dr. Ashley shares why she keeps returning to mindfulness and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) — two approaches that are powerful on their own and truly transformative when combined. Drawing from her background in studying both, she highlights research-backed results that prove these tools create measurable, lasting change in how we handle stress, regulate emotions, and show up in our daily lives. She also spotlights a simple, delightful everyday practice — laughter — as a legitimate coping strategy. The message is clear: you already have access to evidence-based tools that work.
Key Insights
- Mindfulness delivers significant, measurable relief
- DBT was built for intense emotional suffering and delivers remarkable results
- Mindfulness is the foundation of all DBT skills
- Laughter is evidence-based medicine for everyday wellbeing
- Small, consistent actions create big change
Reflection Questions
1. Which of the three areas (mindfulness, DBT skills, or laughter) feels most accessible for you to try this week?
2. What’s one situation in your life right now where a mindfulness pause or DBT skill could help you respond differently instead of reacting?
3. Who in your life reliably makes you laugh? How could you intentionally schedule more time with them?
Recommended Follow-Up Video from YouTube Channel @ashleydeluccia
3 Game-Changing DBT & Mindfulness Strategies
Watch here:
If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs evidence that these tools really work. See you in the next episode!
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
Every time you try something new it’s going to feel uncomfortable. This episode is about doing it anyway. I share a personal story about fear of being seen, an unexpected encounter with Gary Vaynerchuk, and the mindset shift that changed my perspective: focus on helping one person, and the fear takes care of itself.
HOPE: help one person everyday
Key Insights
Fear lives in the before, not the during. The anticipation/anxiety of doing something hard is almost always worse than the thing itself. Once you take action, you’re in a completely different emotional experience.
You don’t have to feel ready to begin. Readiness is a myth we tell ourselves to stay comfortable. You learn the road by walking it.
Service dissolves self-consciousness. When I shifted my focus off of my fear to can I help someone - fear lost its grip. Shifting to service is one of the most effective ways to move through fears. And that ties in to the contributing skill from DBT.
One person is enough. If making yourself better benefits even one person around you, you mattered. Impact doesn’t require scale. It requires intention.
Reflection Prompts
* What is the thing I keep almost doing but talking myself out of?
* Am I waiting to feel ready - or am I willing to begin anyway?
* Who is the one person I could help if I just showed up as my best self?
Do it scared. Do it awkward. Do it before you feel ready. That’s where growth lives. Cope well.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
What This Episode Is About
You don’t have to talk about your trauma to heal from it. Sometimes the body needs a different door. This episode walks through three accessible art therapy activities for processing emotion and healing - for kids and adults alike. No artistic skill required.
Key Insights
Trauma is stored in the body, not just the mind. Talk therapy is powerful, but it doesn’t always reach what’s held in the nervous system. Art accesses those deeper layers through a different pathway.
You don’t need talent. You need permission. This isn’t about making something beautiful. It’s about making something honest. When you stop trying to create “good” art, something more truthful tends to come through.
Emotion needs to move. Unprocessed emotion doesn’t disappear - it gets stored. Art gives it somewhere to go. Through color, shape, and texture, feeling can flow outward instead of staying stuck.
Choice is inherently regulating. For trauma survivors and children who have experienced loss of control, simply choosing their medium or their colors restores a sense of agency. That matters.
The 3 Activities
* Free drawing or painting - no agenda, let your hand lead
* Emotion body mapping - color where feelings live in your body
* Clay and sensory sculpting - grounding, tactile, no rules
This Week’s Practice
Pick one activity. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Don’t aim for anything. Just begin.
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What This Episode Is About
Mindfulness doesn’t just change how you feel - it changes how you show up for others. This episode introduces non-judgmental listening, a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill that builds trust, deepens connection, and helps the people in your life feel truly seen and heard.
Key Insights
Most of us aren’t really listening - we’re waiting to talk. While someone else is speaking, our brain is already composing a response, making judgments, or drawing comparisons. It’s natural; we’re trying to build connections. Non-judgmental listening means dropping the agenda and fully receiving what someone shares.
Feeling heard is a fundamental human need. When someone feels truly understood - not fixed, not advised, just heard - they feel safe. Safety builds trust. Trust deepens connection.
Reflecting back is the skill. After someone shares, mirror it back in your own words. “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed.” No opinion, no advice - just proof that you were actually there.
Mindfulness makes this possible. Without presence, true listening is difficult. Mindfulness is what pulls you back to this person, this moment, this conversation when your mind wanders.
This Week’s Practice
In one conversation, listen without planning your response. When they finish, reflect back what you heard. Notice what shifts - in them, and in you.
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You’d never let your best friend run on empty. So why do you do it to yourself? This “minisode” explores self-compassion as a productivity strategy — and why rest, movement, and kindness toward yourself aren’t indulgences. They’re necessities. Inspired by a real conversation about what it means to be a good friend to yourself.
Key Concepts: Self-compassion · Burnout prevention · Rest as productivity · Treating yourself like someone you love
Reflection prompt: What advice would you give your best friend if they came to you exhausted and unable to stop? Now give that advice to yourself.
Cope well, friends.
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Are you exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering if anything will actually work?
In this episode, I cover the first four foundational concepts from my Mindful Behavior Therapy Curriculum. I used these concepts and adapted them for you - into an audio course, designed specifically for parents raising kids with behavioral and mental health challenges. These aren’t generic parenting tips. These are behavior therapy skills that address what’s actually happening - in your child’s nervous system AND yours.
In this episode:
Dialectics — Learn why “AND” is more powerful than “BUT,” and how holding two contradictory truths at the same time can stop the guilt spiral that’s quietly burning you out.
Mindfulness — Not meditation. Practical, in-the-moment awareness you can use when a plate just hit the kitchen floor. Learn how to create a gap between feeling and reaction - and why that gap changes everything.
Three States of Mind — Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind. Understand why you make decisions you regret in hard moments, and how to access the balanced state that actually works when everything’s falling apart.
Validation — Your emotions are always valid. What you do with them is where responsibility comes in. Learn how validating your own feelings - instead of fighting them - keeps you out of the shame spiral and helps emotions move through faster.
Want the full course?
This episode is just the beginning. The complete Mindful Behavior Therapy audio course covers all ten concepts with deep dives, practical exercises, and real-life application for your specific challenges. It’s coming soon!
Join the Mental Health Coping Tools community on Skool.com to get lifetime access to the full audio course, weekly coaching, personalized strategies, and a community of parents who truly understand what you’re going through.
You don’t have to keep doing this alone.
👉 Join Mental Health Coping Tools on Skool – link here
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
Episode Summary
In this episode, I ask you to question a common excuse people make - not having enough time for self-care. Drawing on DBT’s PLEASE skill and the science of emotional regulation, I reframe self-care not as something extra you add to your day, but as something you weave into it. With practical, zero-cost strategies, I make the case that staying regulated is within your control - even on the hardest days.
Key Concepts
1. The “Life is Chaotic” Default When we respond to “how are you?” with “things are crazy” or “I’m so busy,” it’s a signal. Chronic dysregulation affects how we show up for work, relationships, and parenting. We can choose a different answer, but first we have to do the work to get there.
2. The DBT PLEASE Skill PLEASE is a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skill designed to reduce emotional vulnerability by caring for the physical body. The components include:
* PL — treating PhysicaL illness
* E — balanced Eating
* A — Avoiding mood-altering substances
* S — balanced Sleep
* E — getting Exercise
When these needs go unmet, our emotional baseline drops - meaning we become more reactive, less resilient, and harder to be around. Self-care at this level is clinical, not indulgent.
3. You Cannot Pour from an Empty Cup This is especially true for moms, parents, and caregivers who default to putting everyone else’s needs first. Depleting yourself doesn’t serve the people you love - it limits your capacity to show up for them. Prioritizing your own regulation is an act of care for those around you.
4. Self-Care Doesn’t Require Extra Time The biggest myth about self-care is that it requires a separate block of time. It doesn’t. Regulation can be built into activities you’re already doing - the key ingredient is intention, not more hours in the day.
5. Built-In Regulation Practices Small, woven-in moments of self-care that cost zero extra time:
* Breathwork while driving - box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) in the car rider line
* Gratitude before coffee or meals - 30 seconds of genuine appreciation before your first sip activates the parasympathetic nervous system
* Mindful water drinking - feel the cold water in your mouth and body, notice the sensation, feel grateful for access to clean water; drinking intentionally is both mindfulness and physical self-care
* Mindful breaks at work - a walk to the bathroom or the water fountain is an opportunity to breathe, slow down, and check in with yourself
6. Starting the Day Regulated I begin each morning on my yoga mat - simple poses and breathwork to connect with Spirit and start the day calm and grounded. This sets the emotional tone for everything that follows.
7. The Reset Mindset When mornings go off the rails (and they will), the goal isn’t perfection - it’s continuity. If the morning routine gets derailed, you don’t write off the day. You find the next available moment: breathwork in the car, a mindful pause in the parking lot, an intentional sip of water. Regulation is something you return to all day, not something you do once and lose.
8. Building Resilience Through Small Moments Consistent, small regulation practices build nervous system resilience over time. The more you return to yourself throughout the day, the less completely derailed you become when hard things happen. This is the compounding effect of micro self-care.
Connect with Dr. Ashley DeLuccia on Skool
Parent Community - Mental Health Coping Tools - Skills for Calm and Happy Kids
* Q&A Monday evenings at 7PM EST
* Breathwork sessions Fridays at 5PM
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
Episode Description
In this deeply personal episode, I continue sharing my healing journey and the transformation that led me to create Cope Well. I open up about the pivotal moment when I realized I had control over my emotions rather than letting them control me, and how that shift changed everything.
I walk you through the practical tools and practices that helped me heal: mindful meditation, yoga teacher training, breathwork, and learning to rewire my subconscious mind. Most importantly, I share how I learned self-compassion and self-love after years of feeling unworthy.
This episode is for anyone who feels trapped in unhealthy patterns, struggles with their relationship with themselves, or wonders if real change is even possible. Spoiler: it absolutely is.
Key Topics Covered
* The turning point: choosing to take control of your healing journey
* Moving from victim mentality to empowerment
* Somatic processing and titrating between peace and difficult emotions
* How mindfulness, breathwork, and yoga supported my healing
* Learning self-compassion and self-love in practical, daily ways
* Setting boundaries without guilt
* Rewiring neural pathways for positive patterns
* Why your past behaviors don’t define you
Actionable Takeaways
* Acknowledge your reality - You can’t change what you’re unwilling to admit is happening
* Start small - Choose one simple practice (awareness, mindful walk, daily gratitude, one boundary)
* Seek support - Therapy, community, support groups, or a trusted friend
* Practice self-compassion - Speak to yourself as you would someone you deeply love
* Believe change is possible - Because it is, and I’m living proof
Resources
* Somatic healing/processing meditation
* Mental Health Skool community
* Acceptance Affirmations for Processing Difficult Emotions
Connect With Me
If you’re struggling or don’t know where to start, please reach out. I’m here to support you, help you feel seen and heard, and guide you on your first steps toward healing.
Remember: You deserve to be seen, heard, and valued. Change is possible. You can heal. And you are worth every single step of that journey.
Until next time, be kind to yourself and cope well.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe -
This is why I created Cope Well. I finally open up about what it took to recognize my worth, start a new life, and ultimately build Cope Well as a resource to help others who are struggling in silence.
Key Takeaways
1. I see you when you suffer in silence. Emotional problems don’t always look the way people expect.
2. Accepting unhappiness as “normal” is more common than we think. I accepted pain and invisibility as a default.
3. Suppressing emotions doesn’t heal you - it delays the breaking point. I learned the hard way that stuffing emotions down only delays the inevitable. The body keeps the score.
4. Your emotions are trying to tell you something, so listen. When emotional pain begins showing up physically or in ways that can no longer be ignored, it’s a signal. Emotions are a valuable part of who you are, and they deserve your attention.
5. Wanting to change is the first step. Before healing can begin, there has to be a desire and willingness to make a change.
6. Traditional support isn’t always enough. I tried therapy, saw doctors, and was on medication - and while those things helped, no one taught me how to process suppressed emotions, rebuild my self-worth, set boundaries, or prioritize myself.
7. Cope Well was born out of a gap no one filled. I wished someone had given me practical tools for healing and happiness. Through my difficult experience, I got to create them.
Resources to help
* Safety and Stillness Meditation - A guided meditation designed to help you sit with and acknowledge your emotions. The link will take you to Insight Timer - a free meditation app - but I think this track is for those who pay for the app. I will also send it to my paid subscribers. Enjoy!
Thank you for listening to the Copewell Podcast. If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it.
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This week I share a simple yet effective grounding technique for managing anxiety and panic attacks that I used with my daughter during a moment of panic for her.
Key Takeaways
The Grounding Technique
* I relate this to a crisis survival skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
* This grounding strategy uses your senses to anchor you in the present moment and stop spiraling thoughts of panic
* Particularly helpful when anxiety pulls you into worst-case scenario thinking
* Useful when deep breathing feels inaccessible due to panic
How It Works
* Notice when anxiety is present (requires self-awareness)
* Look around and silently name three things in your environment
* Add details to each item: color, shape, texture, size, sound, smell
* Continue naming items or adding details until anxiety lessens
* Practice without judgment
Skill Stacking Tip
* For panic attacks, combine this grounding technique with calming physical positions:
* Put your legs up against a wall (elevate feet)
* Lower your head below your heart while sitting
* These positions can help slow breathing while practicing the grounding activity
Why This Works
* Pulls you out of anxious thoughts and back to what’s real in the moment
* Stops the spiral of worry and future-focused storytelling
* Helps regain a sense of control
* Similar to the 5-4-3-2-1 technique but quicker for crisis moments
Important Practice Notes
* Practice during calm moments to build the skill for when you really need it
* The more you practice when calm, the easier it will be to use during difficult times
* Even small reductions in anxiety can help you regain control
Additional Resources Mentioned
* Anxiety Grounding Breath video on YouTube
* Mental Health Coping Tools community on School.com
Practice this technique ahead of time so your brain and body remember what to do when anxiety shows up. Cope well!
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Ugh. I’ve recorded so many things for you guys to learn and grow in the past two months. But…the universe had other plans.
Sadness, frustration, whatever you’re feeling - you don’t need to create a story around it. You can simply feel what you’re feeling, validate it, and let it move through you. Science shows emotions pass within 60-90 seconds when we don’t continue them with our silly worry thoughts.
The real measure of resilience isn’t how many times life knocks you down, but how many times you choose to get back up. You only lose when you stop trying.
For anyone wanting more coping content…
Join the free Mental Health Coping Tools community on Skool to connect with others and have access to more of my content. Access support when you need it most. You’re not in this alone - let’s build emotional resilience together because (goodness knows) I’m in this too. :)
Sending love, Dr. Ashley
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleydeluccia.substack.com/subscribe - Visa fler
