Avsnitt
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Today is a very special day, because today we have one of our favorite people on the pod - Sutanya Dacres!! Sutanya has created a far-reaching community of readers, listeners and diners under her Dinner for One umbrella, in which she encourages single women to reclaim their tables and their stories. While Dani has been barred from the exclusive single supper club, Gabby has had the recent privilege of getting dumped — allowing her special access. Sutanya walks us all the way from her Jamaican roots, to her first mayonnaise experience (spoiler alert: it wasn't her "her type of taste"), to her stint in the suburbs, and eventually her whirlwind email-based romance — and heartbreak — at the hands of a French man that upended her life and plopped her down in the "studio" with us today. We touch on the difference between integration and immersion, the problems with online "dating coaches", how to cope post breakup and so so so much more (namely: cake).
Find Sutanya's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Dinner-One-Cooking-Paris-Saved/dp/0778333035 (or at Shakespeare & Co!)
Find Sutanya online here: @dinnerfor.one
Additional references:
Lauren Collins' book: When in French: Love in a Second LanguageLauren Collins' New Yorker article on El Mordjene: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2025/06/09/how-a-hazelnut-spread-became-a-sticking-point-in-franco-algerian-relationsKate Kassin's Bon Appetit article on ice cream: https://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-ice-cream-desserts-restaurants-2025?srsltid=AfmBOootHkI-JdcniSkHaQG8wqaQVFu59ox8GXq60pb600TGCV2oZty5Ice cream references: JJ Hings, @kevglaceNikita Wallia's "thinking out loud" Substack: The Rise of the TikTok Oracle -
We had to hop on the ~*~viral~*~ propaganda-we're-not-falling-for trend. Whether it's French men's falsely "romantic" reputation, French pharmacy fails, croissant chaos or attacks on snacks - Dani & Gabby are coming in hot today with the Paris propaganda they absolutely refuse to get behind.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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🎶 LET'S GO BACK, BACK TO THE BEGINNING 🎶 (IYKYK) Happy to report that we've acquired a lot of new friends recently so we're re-running our DEBUT EP! This is the ep in which we discover how awkward it is to talk TO each other while talking FOR someone else, and navigate just how much eye contact a social arrangement like that entails. Always nice to go back to your roots and remind yourself where you came from. Keeps us humble!!! Love y'all and see you next wk with a spankin' new ep.
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It's our first guest & we COULDN'T be more excited!!!!! Clashes abound in this one 🚘! Matt tells us all about his early life in the Philippines and what it was like to come to the US as a kid — from the unique joys of childhood Costco sample scouring to the iconic gondolas in Vegas' Grand Canal Shoppes. We dig into baby's first culture shocks, the upsides/downsides/necessity of rule-following as an immigrant, the joys of NYC as an "outsider", and Matt's relationship with France today. BONUS: he schools us on the legacy (and mystery) of ~ Chartreuse ~.
• Matt's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattortile/?hl=en
• Matt's book: The Groom Will Keep His Name: And Other Vows I've Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance: https://a.co/d/5oQFSX8
• The great CN Traveler piece he references: https://www.cntraveler.com/story/french-asian-paris-ro-kwon
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One question we get constantly as certified idiots abroad: “Are Parisians rude?” To which we’d like to counter—are we?? A big shock since moving countries has been the realization that our manners don't translate. Whether we're talking about the French's distain for small talk, their proclivity for directness, or an aversion to smiling — we discuss how our more American traits are often ~unwelcome abroad~. In an attempt at intellectualism, we put on our history hats (do historians wear hats?) to make a valiant, questionably accurate attempt to trace where our cultures diverged—and how these unspeakably different definitions of “polite” came to be. As always, the conversation devolves — this time into a truly unhinged rant re: sneezing & a spiral prompted by our mutual disgust for LinkedIn culture. Also, Dunkin' Donuts launched in Paris???!
More materials:
• The Culture Map by Erin Meyer: https://amzn.eu/d/bS96Ls8
• @vin_dealer (our new fav wine influencer): https://www.instagram.com/vin_dealer/
• Overcompensating (on Amazon Prime): https://www.primevideo.com/detail/0GZX4440MSC23NHW3P0BSQB1TE/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r
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Why is money so dang weird? Today we break down our respective relationships with ~l'argent~ — from NYC-fueled over-shopping to how moving to Paris killed both of our "more is more" mentalities. We touch on why we believe sharing your salary is an act of service, and whether it's wise to travel with a friend on a wholly different budget (communication is key!!). Stay tuned for post discussion rants about the incessant reality of groups of men blocking the sidewalk to why one of our laptops is about to grow its own forest.
Reference materials:
NYT's "Are You the Only One Who’s Broke? Or Is It ‘Money Dysmorphia’?, by Emma Goldberg: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/12/style/boom-boom-spending-money-dysmorphia.html
The Cut's "Are We All Living Beyond Our Means Now?", by Claire Lampen: https://www.thecut.com/article/discretionary-spending-and-debt-costs-of-living-expenses.html
Gabby's "hot guy who reads" crush: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukesreads
Hot Shrek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS8KT1uCseY
@louispisano: https://www.instagram.com/louispisano/?hl=en
It Must be Nice to be a West Village Girl: https://www.thecut.com/article/nyc-west-village-neighborhood-new-generation-women-girls.html
Gross strawberry situation: https://www.tiktok.com/@sandra.urbangarden/video/7250866827604086058
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ARE WE OLD!?!? we ask ourselves calmly and reflectively with no hint of panic or desperation. Today's pod explores the clash of realizing you're not longer one of the "youth", and all that this entails. From grappling with the stranger in the mirror (what is HAPPENING under my eyes), to career-based insecurities, dating implications and more, Dani + Gabby dig into the disparaging aspects of aging and try to find the silver linings of silver hairs. To alleviate our woes, we snack on banana bread and scones while rioting against "top 10" Paris lists & the number 3 (?!)
Reference Materials:
• Claire Lampen in The Cut, "What Should a 30-Something Look Like?": https://www.thecut.com/article/millennials-thirty-somethings-aging.htmlJia Tolentino in The
• New Yorker, "My Brain Finally Broke": https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-weekend-essay/my-brain-finally-broke
• The Valley on Bravo: https://www.bravotv.com/the-valley
• Berlant & Novak: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ZZD3qBiD8bCqfD9D83TDB
• Wishbone! : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0L7ZPi2gzWI79_DzDYHlNiJHGuyPdXyw
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Another baby ep?? You lucky ducks. Truly, who could be luckier? All the joy of Dani + Gabby, this time Polly Pocket-sized. Today we circle back to one of our favorite pod premises: rapid-fire clashes. Whether it's France's war on snacks (!!), waiters telling Gabby that the bathroom is "outside", or Dani's mental breakdown regarding when to say "bonjour" vs. "bonsoir", the Clashists duo brings you the hard hitting culture journalism you've come to know and love. Also, will we ever learn to pronounce the word "spritz" in French? That's a secret we'll never tell. We wrap with a fun "this or that" Paris vs NYC edition. Spoiler alert: dating in Paris is h-e-double-hockey-sticks.
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A follow-up to one of our most popular eps, "Haunted by Friendship Breakups" — this time, with your stories. Dani and Gabby rehash your DMs, ID some common themes, break down potential solutions, and dig into one listener's stellar ~friendship health check-up checklist~. If you've ever felt alone after a friendship breakup (regardless of which end of it you were on), this [mini] ep is for you.
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Bet y'all saw this coming! Four months after Gabby got dumped because her ex was, and we quote, "tired", the Clashists dive head-first into one of life's quintessential clashes: the breakup. From coping mechs for the immediate aftermath (spoiler: BLOCK THEM), to recovery timeline windows, to neurologically-proven remedies — your fav two oversharers dig into the temporary insanity-induced by one of life's most transformational moments. Luckily we're accompanied by cardamom buns, apple pie, and the catharsis of complaining about things that annoy us ("snacking & spiralling" never get old).
• You Always Change The Love Of Your Life, by Amalia Andrade: https://www.amazon.com/Always-Change-Love-Your-Life/dp/1409180964
• Study on breakups as physical pain: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/220427#1
• How to Fix a Broken Heart TED Talk, by Guy Winch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM
• Using the Logic of Neuroscience to Heal from a Breakup: https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/breakup-neuroscience/
• Dani's breakup Spotify playlist from her 20s: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46bRj7l8tHmwuv1fHnf97x?si=22aa5400a0174b1a&nd=1&dlsi=c50ddc43f74c48f7
• Gabby's Substack on whether breakups are "evolutionarily natural": https://open.substack.com/pub/gabriellepedriani/p/are-breakups-natural-like-evolutionarily?r=b4i&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
• @komberabi.paris: for cardamom buns & apple pie: https://www.instagram.com/komorebi.paris/?hl=en
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Today we dissect perhaps the greatest culture shock of all ~*~social media~*~, and how it's impacted our individual millennial lives (SORRY we are what we are). From early AIM flirtations, to cut throat Myspace "top 8" brutality, to our regrettable respective moments of TikTok virality, we chat through all things social and the rewarding pros (and psychotic cons) of living snippets of our lives online. Then, we once again end the ep eating various varieties of cookies and somehow finding ways to complain about things we should be grateful for. <3 BRB TTYL
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Welcome back to another episode in which we spiral about the increasingly odd relationship between NYC & Paris. Are we the problem? Is this play about us?? We ask ourself these hard-hitting questions and more, like: How do you successfully export a concept to a new country? Can you translate a feeling? Why are we seeing so much cross-pollination between the two cities lately? And ... should Paris maybe just stop trying to make the bagel happen? We wash it all down with a solid rant attacking Parisians for their incessant need to speak English back to us despite our noble attempts at speaking French (let us live!) and some artery-clogging snacks.
Emily Sundberg's Feed Me: New York City has a France problem: https://substack.com/home/post/p-158859893?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
This Is TASTE 529: New York’s New Semi-Anonymous Restaurant Critic with Feed Me’s J Lee: https://tastecooking.com/this-is-taste-529-new-yorks-new-semi-anonymous-restaurant-critic-with-feed-mes-j-lee/
Mackenzie Barmen (@mackenziebarmen) on TikTok (click on "Sixty-Somethings Series"): https://www.tiktok.com/@mackenziebarmen?lang=en
Best Baguette in Paris 2025 winner: https://www.sortiraparis.com/en/news/in-paris/articles/326261-the-best-baguette-in-paris-2025-mickael-reydellet-crowned-king-of-baguettes-in-paris#:~:text=The%20best%20baguette%20in%20Paris%20in%202025%20comes%20from%20Micka%C3%ABl,by%20the%20City%20of%20Paris.
Offline podcast ep ft. Supercommunicators' author Charles Duhigg: https://podcasts.apple.com/mt/podcast/offline-pc-small-group/id1610392666?i=1000701027361
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Existential crises abound! Today we discuss the various life events that have altered our personalities — from moving between cities and starting new relationships to actively chipping away at our less desirable traits. How has marrying a French man impacted Dani? How has incessantly being described as neurotic driven Gabby to self help articles? Only this ep will tell! Also ft: France's interpretation of "corn dogs" (heavy emphasis on interpretation), the ageless joy of Kinder eggs, and why both of your beloved hosts are spiralling into scaffolding-induced insanity.
The Atlantic — "I Gave Myself Three Months to Change My Personality" by Olga Khazan: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/03/how-to-change-your-personality-happiness/621306/
Olga's new book — Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change: https://www.amazon.com/Me-But-Better-Science-Personality/dp/1668012545
The New Yorker — "Becoming You: Are you the same person you were when you were a child?" by Joshua Rothman: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/10/10/are-you-the-same-person-you-used-to-be-life-is-hard-the-origins-of-you
Obama's code-switching vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSch9x_RuJU
Info on Erewhon Paris edition: https://www.vogue.fr/article/merci-pop-up-erewhon-paris
The Culture Study Podcast on With Love, Meghan: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/figuring-out-how-to-feel-about-with-love-meghan/id1718662839?i=1000699786274
And not for the faint of heart — Zuckerberg's Benson Boone role play: https://www.instagram.com/zuck/reel/DGoDxw5PvlH/?hl=en
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Today on the pod? Friendship breakups. We promise you you're not alone. Whether you've been ghosted, phased out, or downright dumped, recording this ep made us realize just how common this shame-inducing experience really is. Bright side/bold claim?: It might be leading us to our higher selves? Or, at the very least, weeding out some absolute weirdos. Then, Dani advocates for setting more stuff on fire (for a cause!) and Gabby reveals her vendetta against cancelers. Be sure to leave room for snack spirals involving two carb-filled classics.
The Cut's article on friendship breakups (by Melissa Dahl): https://www.thecut.com/article/friendship-breakups-pain-explained-psychology.html
Southern Charm: https://www.bravotv.com/southern-charm
Avery McClure (Gab's call for the "next big thing"): https://www.instagram.com/averymcclure0/?hl=en
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It's a baby bottle ep! (IYKYK) We rapid-fire run through some of our (and our listeners'!) most startling ~mini culture clashes~, 30% of which are bra-related for reasons unbeknownst to us. Also discussed? Dead bird heads, confusing toilet situations, "love hotels", and why we'll never get over the French's pronunciation of the word "smoothie".
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HOT TAKE! That sums up this entire episode. One egregious hot take. And just in time for Paris Fashion Week, no less. But truly: are Parisians interesting dressers? What are they actually wearing day-to-day? And why did it shock this pod's hosts? What is "effortlessness"? And why are people so convinced that French women have it? Dani + Gabby dissect these hard-hitting questions as the world crumbles around us. Service-journalism! Also on tap? A ~soft girl cheese~ session, what Gabby is willing to risk e-coli for, and why we're taking the cool back from mean girls.
Things referenced:
The Myth of Effortless Style, by Daisy Maldonado (Vogue): https://www.vogue.com/article/the-myth-of-effortless-style
The New Parisienne, by Lindsey Tramuta: https://www.amazon.com/New-Parisienne-Women-Ideas-Shaping/dp/1419742817
Dani's Paris clothes rental service = Le Closet (link offers 30 euro off): https://www.lecloset.fr/free-closet?referrerToken=vintagedaniela28
Salon D'Agriculture (just wrapped this year but keep your eye on it for next yr!): https://www.salon-agriculture.com/en
Gab's man Brillat-Savarin (reference pic): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Anthelme_Brillat-Savarin
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An overly dramatic ep title meant to highlight how ~odd~ NYC dining has become, and how some of Paris' most "annoying" restaurant-related traits are maybe actually...beautiful? We'll discuss everything from why we sort of love not being able to get a waiter to bring us the check, to why Gabby kept getting kicked out of NYC restaus, to the joys of cheap wine and sorrows of stingy ice distribution. Plus - the dairy-on-dairy combo that's making Gabby moo-an (sry), Dani's vendetta against wooden stools, and a vehement rant on subway pole etiquette 101.
~ Dani's new Substack, This is Probably About Food! : https://substack.com/@thisisprobaboutfood
~ Our friend Sutanya's killer book: https://www.amazon.com/Dinner-One-Cooking-Paris-Saved/dp/0778333035
~ Substack event! (March 5th in Paris): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/billets-a-new-fashion-navigating-substack-in-an-age-of-oversaturated-platforms-1244359315209
~ Caitlin Gunther's NYT, Modern Love piece: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/21/style/modern-love-divorce-paris-trying-to-not-love-him.html
~ The Cut article on snark reddits (by Brooke LaMantia): https://www.thecut.com/article/reddit-influencer-snark-confessions.html
~ Gabby Windey does in fact have a podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/long-winded-with-gabby-windey/id1729279320
~ "Frozen Food’s New Wave" in The Atlantic (by Meghan McCarron): https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2025/02/frozen-food-reputation/681710/
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The first of what we can fully assure you will be a ~nearly incessant~ amount of eps about dating, We compare dating in NYC vs Paris (SPOILER ALERT: they're both bad! <3), why French men love to stroke your hand & split a 12 euro bill, and the absolute ~joys~ of 2 year situationships. Plus - why muting your friends is an act of LOVE & finishing your sentences with "right?" is peak manipulation. And plz comment your fav/least fav dating stories on IG @clashists - Gabby's misery needs company.
Also y'all - I remembered to put it in the show notes (Jimmy Fallon's Z105 sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik3GDAa3gek
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We are BACK with an ep alllll about how weird French jobs are. But also great. There is greatness there too. Dani schools Gabby on the oddities of French corporate employment and (spoiler alert) unemployment. Gabby sits mouth agape at the concept of severance and worker's rights. Latter half includes spirals about tactless favor-asking and demanding group chats, and a much-needed ode to BIG salads.
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In this ep, we explore why making friends in your 30s isn't easy- and why that might actually be OK. Also- do French people hate being asked questions?? (Gab has thoughts), and why you should 100% slide into more strangers' DMs. Plus- Paris' best Venezuelan food & why onion soup mix has unexpected international appeal.
Content referenced:
How Solitude Is Rewiring American Identity, The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2025/01/americas-crisis-of-aloneness/681251/
Magical Overthinking About Adult Friendships: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/overthinking-about-adult-friendships/id1745220403?i=1000678377740
Harvard Study of Adult Development: https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/
Mistakingly Seeking Solitude: https://faculty.haas.berkeley.edu/jschroeder/Publications/Epley&Schroeder2014.pdf
- Visa fler
