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Do you ever feel like no matter how much healing work you do, you still get overwhelmed, anxious, or reactive? Maybe you even catch yourself thinking, “I should be past this by now.” If so, you’re not alone.
Dysregulation isn’t failure—it’s communication. Your nervous system is always working to keep you safe, and when it shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, it’s responding to something—whether that’s stress, past experiences, or simply the demands of daily life.
In this episode, we’re shifting the way you see dysregulation and, more importantly, giving you tools to navigate it with more awareness and self-compassion.
What You’ll Learn:
Why dysregulation happens and what your nervous system is trying to tell you.The biggest misconceptions about healing and nervous system regulation.How to recognize your personal signs of dysregulation before it spirals.Why avoiding discomfort keeps you stuck—and how to break free.Simple, practical tools to regulate in the moment and build resilience.Key Takeaways & Tools:
✔ Recognize Your Triggers: Pay attention to physical and emotional signs like tension, shallow breathing, or feeling shut down.
✔ Shift from Fixing to Listening: Instead of forcing yourself to “calm down,” ask what your system actually needs—movement, stillness, connection, or space.
✔ Break the Avoidance Cycle: Small, safe steps toward discomfort teach your nervous system that you can handle it.
✔ Regulation Techniques: Try grounding exercises, deep sighs, cold exposure, or humming to activate your vagus nerve and create a sense of safety.
✔ Your Bounce-Back Rate Matters: Healing isn’t about never feeling dysregulated—it’s about how quickly and effectively you can return to regulation.
Dysregulation is a normal part of being human. The goal isn’t to avoid it but to respond to it in a way that builds trust, resilience, and self-awareness. Every time you support yourself through it, you strengthen your nervous system and remind yourself: I am safe.
Let's Connect:
. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au
. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson
. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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We all want to raise calm, emotionally regulated kids—but how calm and emotionally regulated are we? Kids don’t just learn from what we say; they absorb how we react, how we process emotions, and how we handle stress.
If you’ve ever lost your patience, snapped, or regretted a reaction, this episode is for you. Those moments aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to learn and model repair. And if you didn’t show up in the past the way you would have liked, it’s not too late to do things differently now. Growth isn’t about getting it perfect; it’s about showing up in a new way, one moment at a time.
What You’ll Learn:
• Why your nervous system plays a huge role in your child’s behaviour.
• How kids co-regulate with us and what that actually means.
• The patterns we unconsciously pass down.
• Practical ways to shift from reacting to responding with intention.
Key Takeaways & Tools:
✔ Regulate Yourself First – A dysregulated parent can’t teach regulation. Before correcting your child’s behaviour, check in with your own. Ask: ‘Am I reacting from stress, or am I responding from calm?’
✔ Grounding Techniques for Triggers – Try breathwork, movement, cold water, or an affirmation like “Peace begins with me.”
✔ Reframe Meltdowns – Instead of seeing them as bad behaviour, see them as a stress response. A child acting out is communicating an unmet need.
✔ Co-Regulation First – Before jumping to solutions, focus on connection and validation. Swap “You’re okay” with “I see you’re really frustrated. That makes sense.”
✔ Repair After Reacting – No parent is perfect, but modelling accountability teaches kids emotional responsibility. Saying, “I got frustrated earlier, and that wasn’t fair to you. I’m working on handling my emotions better,” helps them learn that mistakes are okay—what matters is how we own them.
Raising emotionally regulated kids starts with us. The more we support our own nervous system, the easier it is to guide our children through theirs.
Let's Connect:
. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au
. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson
. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Have you ever set a goal, felt motivated, and then found yourself procrastinating, overthinking, or backing out? Do you avoid opportunities, steer clear of tough conversations, or repeat patterns that no longer serve you—despite knowing better?
Self-sabotage isn’t about willpower; it’s about subconscious patterns and nervous system responses keeping you stuck. In this episode, we’re unpacking why we hold ourselves back and, most importantly, how to break free.
What You’ll Learn:
• What self-sabotage is and how it shows up in daily life.
• The link between self-sabotage and instant gratification.
• Why fear, subconscious beliefs, and nervous system responses keep you stuck.
• How to recognize and interrupt self-sabotaging patterns in real time.
• Practical tools to rewire your brain, regulate your nervous system, and build small, safe wins.
Key Takeaways & Tools:
✔ Identify Your Triggers: Notice moments of hesitation or procrastination—what’s the deeper fear or belief?
✔ Pattern Interrupts: Use quick shifts like clapping, snapping your fingers, or saying “Go!” to break autopilot habits.
✔ Regulate Your Nervous System: Breathwork, cold exposure, and grounding exercises help create internal safety.
✔ Rewire Limiting Beliefs: Shift from “I’m not ready” to “I am learning and growing.”
✔ Create Small, Safe Wins: Build confidence with small, achievable steps that show your nervous system change is safe.
The secret to breaking free isn’t just knowing what to do—it’s knowing how to take action. Small steps lead to big transformations.
Let's Connect:
. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au
. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson
. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Relationships challenge us, grow us, and reflect back our deepest wounds and our greatest potential. In this episode of Beyond the Surface, I explore what makes relationships work, the patterns that hold us back, and how to create deeper, healthier connections.
We'll dive into:
. The power of having a "WE" not "ME" relationship
. How attachment styles are formed and how they shape the way we connect (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized)
. Understanding love languages and how we express and receive love differently
. Why healthy relationships still challenge you-just in a different way
. How self-awareness and accountability are key to breaking cycles
. Conflict styles and why it's not about if you fight, but how
you fight
Whether you're in a long-term relationship, dating, or reflecting on past experiences, this episode will help you better understand your patterns, your partner's needs, and how to create deeper, healthier connections.
Resources & Links:
.Take the Love Languages Quiz:
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
Let's Connect:
. Website:
www.belindaanderson.com.au
. Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson
. Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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In this episode, we explore how your focus shapes your reality—you see what you look for. Ever notice that when you’re focused on something—good or bad—it starts showing up everywhere? That’s because what you focus on grows. What’s wrong is always available, and so is what is right.
I’ll break down why shifting your focus isn’t just about “thinking positive” and how your brain and nervous system filter your reality. Plus, you’ll learn a powerful exercise to shift your perspective—especially in your relationships. I’ll explain why shifting your focus starts from within and share practical tools to help you do it.
You’ll also hear why so many of us get stuck scanning for problems or become addicted to stress, negativity and chaos without even realizing it—and how to start breaking that cycle.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How your brain filters what you see (hello, RAS!) Why a dysregulated nervous system makes positivity feel fake A quick focus exercise to help you understand that what you see is what you look for How shifting your focus can change your relationships with your partner and kids Breaking free from unconscious patterns of stress, negativity and chaos Simple daily practices to help you shift your perspective How gratitude can literally rewire your brainLet’s Connect:
Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/ -
Are you living your life—or just rushing through it? In this episode of Beyond the Surface, we’re shifting from the deeper inner work to something that shapes your everyday life—your values. If you’ve ever felt out of alignment, caught in the ‘busy’ trap, or wondering why life feels “off,” this one’s for you.
Here’s what you’ll walk away with:
Why knowing your values isn’t enough—you have to live them.A fresh take on values—what they truly are and how they shape your life, relationships, and choices.The hidden ways misalignment with your values leads to burnout, frustration, and feeling lost.Simple, practical steps to identify your top values—and spot where your actions don’t align.Why ‘busy’ feels safe (but keeps you stuck)—and what you might be avoiding by staying busy.How learning to say no can be one of the most powerful ways to honour your values.Plus: I share personal stories, including how discovering and living by our values transformed my relationship with my husband and the way we show up for ourselves and each other.
Let’s Connect:
Website: www.belindaanderson.com.auInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.andersonFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Sponsor Spotlight:
Big thanks to our sponsor, Fem21 and their new product, Man21. Fem21 & Man21 are carefully crafted naturopathic blends of 21 natural herbs and superfoods, designed to holistically support women’s and men’s hormonal and gut health, vitality, and overall wellbeing. Find out more at: fm21.au
If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who needs to hear it—and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review to help us reach more people ready to heal, grow, and thrive.
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Ever feel like you’re doing all the right things—practicing gratitude, setting goals, reading the books—but something still feels stuck? Like there’s an invisible force holding you back?
That’s your subconscious mind at work.
In this episode of Beyond the Surface, we’re diving deep into subconscious programming—the hidden beliefs that shape your reality and keep you stuck in patterns you don’t even realize you’re repeating. I’ll be sharing some of the biggest limiting beliefs I had to unlearn (ones that kept me doubting myself, playing small, and feeling unworthy) and how I reprogrammed them into empowering beliefs that changed everything.
What we cover in this episode:
How your subconscious mind is running 95% of your life (whether you realize it or not)Why you keep falling into the same patterns, even when you’re consciously trying to changeThe three biggest limiting beliefs I had (and how they were keeping me stuck)The simple reframing technique that shifts limiting beliefs into empowering onesA powerful exercise we do on retreat to rewrite subconscious beliefsWhy your nervous system needs to feel safe before real change can happenHypnosis, somatic practices, and other powerful tools for reprogramming your subconsciousYour subconscious doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined—so whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. This episode is about choosing a new belief that aligns with the life you actually want.
Links:
Website: www.belindaanderson.com.auInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.andersonFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Sponsor Spotlight:
Special thanks to our sponsor, Fem21 and their new product, Man21. Fem21 & Man21 are carefully crafted naturopathic blends of 21 natural herbs and superfoods, designed to holistically support women’s and men’s hormonal and gut health, vitality, and overall wellbeing. Find out more at: fm21.au
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If you’ve ever felt stuck despite all the work you’ve done—whether it’s thinking positive, talking it out, or trying to move on—this episode is for you.
Trauma isn’t just a memory. It’s something your body holds onto. And no, you can’t simply think or talk your way through it. True healing happens in the body. Today, we’re diving deep into what trauma and trapped emotions do to your nervous system and, most importantly, how to release them.
You’ll learn:
• Why trauma is stored in the body—not just the mind
• The four nervous system stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
• Why unprocessed emotions can lead to anxiety, fatigue, and even physical pain
• Powerful body-based tools to help you regulate your nervous system and release stored trauma, including:
• Somatic exercises
• Grounding techniques
• Breathwork
• Vagus nerve stimulation
• Psoas and fascia release
• EMDR and other somatic practices
This episode isn’t just about understanding trauma—it’s about releasing it.
If you’ve been carrying the weight of old wounds, past experiences, or unprocessed emotions, it’s time to give your body what it truly needs to heal.
Resources Mentioned:
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der KolkLinks:
Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Sponsor Spotlight:
Special thanks to our sponsor, Fem21 and their new product, Man21. Fem21 & Man21 are carefully crafted naturopathic blends of 21 natural herbs and superfoods, designed to holistically support women’s and men’s hormonal and gut health, vitality, and overall wellbeing. Find out more at: fm21.au
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In this episode of Beyond The Surface, we dive into the transformative power of breaking generational patterns. Many of the beliefs, behaviours, and emotional cycles we carry weren’t created by us—they’ve been passed down. Recognizing and releasing these patterns is a powerful step toward writing your own story, living life on your terms, and paving the way for future generations.
We’ll explore how to identify generational cycles and the courage it takes to break free from what no longer serves you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• How generational patterns are formed and how they affect your life.
• Signs that you might be carrying inherited beliefs or behaviours.
• Why breaking these cycles is one of the most powerful forms of healing.
• Steps to start rewriting your story for yourself and future generations.
Journal Prompt:
What patterns have you noticed that you have brought with you into adulthood? How can you consciously begin to shift them?
Links and Resources:
Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Sponsor Spotlight:
Special thanks to our sponsor, Fem21 and their new product, Man21. Fem21 & Man21 are carefully crafted naturopathic blends of 21 natural herbs and superfoods, designed to holistically support women’s and men’s hormonal and gut health, vitality, and overall wellbeing. Find out more at: www.fm21.au
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In this very first episode of Beyond The Surface, I share a deeply personal story about my journey of healing my inner child. Growing up, I unknowingly stepped into survival mode at a young age, leaving my innocence behind far too early. Through my healing journey, I’ve come to understand how these early experiences shaped me. It wasn’t until I felt safe in my body as an adult that I began uncovering suppressed emotions and memories that had manifested as physical pain.
Join me as I reflect on this transformative process, and learn why healing your inner child is the foundation for stepping into the person you’re truly meant to be.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• What the inner child is and why it’s so important to connect with it.
• How early experiences impact your behaviours, emotions, and self-perception.
• My personal healing story and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
• Simple ways to begin exploring your own inner child healing journey.
Journal Prompt:
Take some time to reflect: What were your earliest memories of feeling unseen or unsupported? How might those experiences still influence you today?
Go-To Guide Tip:
Keep a journal handy to capture your thoughts and reflections as you listen. Use this as your go-to guide for tracking insights and action steps from each episode.
Links and Resources:
Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Sponsor Spotlight:
Special thanks to our sponsor, Fem21 and their new product, Man21. Fem21 & Man21 are carefully crafted naturopathic blends of 21 natural herbs and superfoods, designed to holistically support women’s and men’s hormonal and gut health, vitality, and overall wellbeing. Find out more at: fm21.au
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Welcome to Beyond The Surface—the podcast where we explore how to heal, grow, and thrive. I’m your host, Belinda Anderson, here to guide you on a journey of transformation from the inside out.
This is a space for vulnerability, meaningful conversations, and uncomfortable truths—confronting topics that encourage you to look within and unravel the layers.
Together, we’ll dive into nervous system regulation, somatic practices, emotional healing, and personal growth. We’ll explore breaking generational patterns, inner child healing, releasing trauma, challenging limiting beliefs, the importance of values, relationships, conscious parenting, healthy living, navigating midlife, and so much more.
For over a decade, I’ve guided women and couples through transformational retreats in Australia, Bali, and Fiji. With a grounded, practical approach, I’m here to share tools and thought-provoking insights to help you break free from what’s holding you back and go beyond the surface to uncover what’s truly possible.
Hit subscribe now so you never miss an episode.
