Avsnitt
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The chat has spoken and we dive in to the first few chapters of I, Jedi -- which (as advertised) is a first person account of being a Jedi. Luckily for us, that first person is Corran Horn: noted fighter pilot, recovering narc, short king, and galactic-level grump doing his best Sam Spade impression. We follow Corran as he battles space pirates, his own insecurities over becoming a father, and watching his good friend Ooryl eat breakfast. But just as Corran triumphantly returns home via Coruscant Municipal Transit ready to get his wife hella pregnant, he realizes Mirax is gone. And not just on a work trip, but also in a more mysterious, extra-gone Jedi way. Luckily everyone's BFF Wedge has taken a break from starfightering to have a midlife crisis doing architecture on Coruscant and helps Corran assemble an elite team of Corellian wife guys to get Mirax back. Oh, and wouldn't you know it - his friend Luke (the Jedi one) is also in town and might be able to help, too.
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Our intrepid hosts valiantly struggle against a sinus infection and the city of Denver to bring you the THRILLING CONCLUSION to the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SAGA of The Crystal Star. The twins escape with the help of the true star of this novel, Mistress Dragon. Leia, Chewie and their new friend Rallao consult an elephant who never forgets (the name of any being enslaved in the galaxy) and have an incredible run of showing up just where they need to be for the plot to move forward. Han finally gets the perfect amount of drunk on vacation, only to have it wasted on an afternoon of saving his brother-in-law from a cult leader preying on his untreated depression. Anakin steals a space Turkish delight and is almost eaten by an evil chair. Mr. Threep's purple paint job does not survive, but all our heroes do, and the fly off into the sunset as evil sofa Waru is finally able to phone home.
And speaking of Correllian wife guys who are really annoyed Luke Skywalker is harshing their vibe... our next book will be as the chat wills it. Michael A Stackpole's I, Jedi. -
Saknas det avsnitt?
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Please enjoy this latest effort, late and paltry though it is - our hosts unfortunately live in the United States, which is going through some [redacted] times and also a gnarly flu season. In a galaxy far far away, most of our heroes are having a time of it as well. Han is really regretting his choice to vacation with a Jedi, especially after they run into his ex-girl friend, who introduces them to an all-powerful living sofa. Leia and Chewie try to find the kidnapped children with the power of the Dark Side (?) and expired eye shadow. Jacen and Jaina are reunited through the power of Force hi jinks.
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Our latest entry starts with a bang. Literally. Chewbacca gets blown up and the three Organa-Solo kids are kidnapped. Everyone around Leia gaslights her into thinking maybe it's an unserious kidnapping (because apparently that's a thing!) — except master detective R2 Freakin' D2 who is on the case and fully prepared to do a murder if necessary to solve it. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo would probably have some feelings about the kidnapping, but they're on vacation near a black hole that blocks all cell service so they have no idea. Jaina Solo is pretty pissed about having to survive on crappy soup and being forcibly separated from her brothers. She makes a friend only to have that kid immediately sold into slavery by a Force-sensitive Empire-revival cultist — but hey, there's a cool dragon!
Also, 3PO is purple. -
As the New York Times best-selling saga of the Callista trilogy draws to a close, Kelly and Emily are joined by a surprise guest who weighs in on who gets to decide what's in a Star Wars novel, why Han Solo is totally cool being a Wife Guy, and the power of body swaps.
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It's a Lunar New Year Miracle (we finished more than 3 chapters of a Hambly!). Leia and Callista have some dorm room conversations on the nature of power and its uses. Luke returns to his first love (hotwiring speeders and driving across the desert like a lunatic). Leia returns to her first love (small artillery fire). Threepio and Artoo continue bouncing around the galactic postal system. We find out that the Spook crystals ARE talking and Luke becomes their Lorax. Han Solo finally gets to hug his wife. Callista continues on her own path. GMOs are revealed as the ultimate evil. And one of Star Wars’ most baffling ‘ships appears like a Death Star on the horizon. 11.5/12 parsecs.
If you want to vote on what comes next, join us over on the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/DelusionsofGrandeurPod -
Leia decides it's time get up off the couch. Seti Ashgad gets a horrifying makeover. Dyzym's whole deal is revealed and it's NOT COOL. Luke gets a late night Force call and heads into the desert. Threepio gets a wig and gets creative but refuses to get impolite. Han and Lando continue to breathe somewhere in the galaxy. Callista shows up, mostly to roast Luke. And we find out that no matter where you are in the galaxy everything evolves back to CRABS eventually.
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Sure, a lot of plot-related things happen in these chapters and all of our main characters seem to have new careers — Luke's a mechanic, Leia's an expert locksmith, and Han is a space EMT. But let's be real. THE MOST important thing to focus on is: what should Threepio and R2 call their family band?!
Goldenrod and the Twerp?
NSFW(ookies)?
Festering Jizzboxes?
Please send us any and all ideas: swdelusionspod at gmail dot com. There is no wrong answer. -
Things are picking up, pilgrims. Han and Chewie's poolside vacation at a former concubine's condo is derailed when Leia doesn't show up as planned. Leia is once again forced to deal with two-bit aristocrats while high. Luke embraces his inner desert rat, leading him straight to his favorite kind of teacher: an obviously insane elderly Jedi. Artoo and Threepio are stolen by a two-bit Alderaanian version of Han Solo. Artoo refuses to let the loss of his voice or his wheelies stop him from committing aggravated assault.
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We're back in the beautiful dappled light of a Barbara Hambly joint after many chapters in the wilderness! Leia and a couple of New Republic ships (along with her brother) have come to the world of Nom Nom Cheerio, a planet full of crystals, the Force, and possibly even Callista to meet with a politician desperate for the New Republic's help. He and some other colonists settled on Nom Nom Cheerio knowing full well older inhabitants were very, very not interested in joining the Republic or having any contact with the galaxy at all, and they think Leia should fix it. Now everyone on board the ships are dying. Leia finds herself stoned on a couch in Joshua Tree. Luke crashed his car while stalking his ex but is having fun doing desert rat stuff with some new desert friends. And Threepio is throwing a funeral at 2.5x speed.
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We take a short break from our regularly scheduled program of recapping professional Star Wars fan fiction to highlight a piece from someone who's only in it for the love of the game. The Last Poem of Jedha asks questions like "what happens if the crew of Rogue One live?" and "what do you owe to your dead world if you got a master's degree in poetry while flying Imperial shuttles?" and "why am I crying about a poem I've never read?" We'll be back next week with the next installment in the Callista trilogy - Madame Barbara Hambly's Planet of Twilight.
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Like Callista, we are finally freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. The Hutts learn the perils of accepting the lowest bid on materials and services. Callista decides that if she can't use the Force, that won't stop her from trying to blow up yet another Imperial super ship. Luke gets some help moving a log. Crix Madine dies for literally nothing. The New Republic may have poisoned a bunch of parade goers. Emily finally loses it. And the Jedi academy seems to be doing...just fine with out a Skywalker around. Also, do not insult them by implying they would misuse the mails. There is no plan. What's the plan? Should we plan?
This will be the last episode of our second season. We recorded just before the holidays, so we'll have short break in the new year as patrons choose our next book. Want to help choose? Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DelusionsofGrandeurPod -
Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Dorsk 81 the Cloned? I thought not. It's not a story Barbara Hambly would tell you.
Dorsk 81 was super good at his desk job, but he was the first Dorsk to ever get bored and he decided to be a space cop instead. He graduated police academy in the most unceremonious way possible and then his best friend forced him to go to a N*zi rally "just to see what they're up to." Turns out, they were up to genocides (duh). But since Dorsk 81 wasn't super populer...lar...back home, the mayor ignored his warnings and now most of their planet is dead. Dorsk 81 himself got internally fried trying to cosplay as Sailor Moon in defense of the Jedi Temple — though he did manage to use the Force to hip check 17 Star Destroyers so hard it sent Gilad Pellaeon's mustache a'quivering. The best we can say about these chapters is: .................the book is almost over. Also, KNIGHT HAMMER. 💀 -
Folks, this book is rough enough that maybe even fat free flavor crystals sprinkled on a sarcastic omniscient space clam can't save it. Everyone is getting done dirty in this section, from the entire Wampa race down to Wedge Antilles. Our heroes hop all over the galaxy, finding out things that other people already know and gaslighting their significant others, friends, and/or protégées. Even more upsetting are the gratuitous mentions of Pellaeon's depression mustache. Our hosts dive deep into Crix Madine's baffling uniform to distract themselves from the impossible task of figuring out how much time has elapsed so far in this book (Five years? Two days? The galaxy may never know).
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Fair warning: if you identify as a woman or a Mon Calamari, there's not much to appreciate about these chapters. Leia finally gets to go out with her family — to eat a salad. Admiral Ackbar can't even make it past the Corneria mission in Star Fox 64 — despite being a revered war vet. Qwi Xux is supposedly a brilliant scientist — but more importantly, Wedge thinks she's hot. And even though Callista tried to break up with Luke Skywalker, she continues to follow him around the galaxy — enduring Wampa attacks and an endless barrage of stories about his gap year on Dagobah.
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This is really a book about getting the gang back together if you think about it! Luke asks the New Republic for some PTO to head off with Callista to find the Force on an ice resort for rich people (we don't get it either). Kyp Durran is allowed to graduate to full Jedi and just...peace out to go after a vague hunch (talk about the Luke Skywalker school of Jedi-ing). Han and Leia ponder what to do about the whole Hutt situation. And Admirals Daala and Pelleon (and his mustache) prep for a Very Important Meeting.
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Now that we're done with the Dune stuff, things are getting stranger. The Hutts raid Coruscant's central computer with the help of slapstick weasels. Luke decides to graduate three students who just "feel ready" - including tipped turbolaser Kyp Durron, so that he can get the New Republic to approve his PTO. No one on Yavin 4 acknowledges the total body horror of Callista taking the body of their friend and fellow student. Luke and Callista engage in performative PDA that is giving us the ick through space and time. And HOOOO BOY...do we get why Timmy Zahn might have wanted to lock down future appearances by one Mara Jade after this little flyby. But whatever is written here, the Delulu crew knows the truth: Mara deserves better...and Mara and Lando totally boned.
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With great personal bravery, we continue with the "Callista Trilogy" and crack open Kevin J. Anderson's Darksaber: a book that would like you to find fellow Star Wars Fans on the World Wide Web. Although the cover would suggest that an Empire era Luke Skywalker is embracing life as a bisexual icon alongside his devoted friend Kurt Russell, most of these chapters take place on Tatooine! Han and Luke go undercover with some Tusken Raiders (who appear to have some culture after all...) and break into Jabba's Palace to try and find out what his fellow Hutts are up to (no good, obviously). And we meet lovable Imperial bumbler/David Lynch clone Bevil Lemelisk: a man who just wants get some lunch in his tum tum but sadly must oversee an evil mining operation instead.
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What is there to say about these chapters? Our intrepid hosts take a cue from Lando, light up a metaphorical cigarette with our electronic space jackets, and lie down on a cosmic people mover to be passively borne towards an unsatisfying conclusion. In the end, Vuffi Raa abandons his brief career as a fashion accessory to chose true love over being a narc, Mohs loses his eyeballs but gains the knowledge of how his ancestors sold him out, Lando flies off into the sunset, and the Mindharp phones home.
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Patreon's prompt for this description is, "Why do you create?" And honestly, when the source material is this bad, it's a great question. Mostly to yell about someone else's art, I guess? Anyway: join us as we traipse from sabacc table to sabacc table — from tapcafé to tapcafé — at the whim of a threatening magician, to discover what the actual heck a mindharp is. The good news is that there is a lot of goofiness (dinosaurs! jackalopes!) sprinkled among some terrible eugenicist nonsense. We learn (unsurprisingly) that Lando Calrissian can never be without a cumberbund. Even in bed. Even tied to a cactus. Even, somehow, while also wearing a loincloth.
- Visa fler
