Avsnitt
-
Like Callista, we are finally freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. The Hutts learn the perils of accepting the lowest bid on materials and services. Callista decides that if she can't use the Force, that won't stop her from trying to blow up yet another Imperial super ship. Luke gets some help moving a log. Crix Madine dies for literally nothing. The New Republic may have poisoned a bunch of parade goers. Emily finally loses it. And the Jedi academy seems to be doing...just fine with out a Skywalker around. Also, do not insult them by implying they would misuse the mails. There is no plan. What's the plan? Should we plan?
This will be the last episode of our second season. We recorded just before the holidays, so we'll have short break in the new year as patrons choose our next book. Want to help choose? Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DelusionsofGrandeurPod -
Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Dorsk 81 the Cloned? I thought not. It's not a story Barbara Hambly would tell you.
Dorsk 81 was super good at his desk job, but he was the first Dorsk to ever get bored and he decided to be a space cop instead. He graduated police academy in the most unceremonious way possible and then his best friend forced him to go to a N*zi rally "just to see what they're up to." Turns out, they were up to genocides (duh). But since Dorsk 81 wasn't super populer...lar...back home, the mayor ignored his warnings and now most of their planet is dead. Dorsk 81 himself got internally fried trying to cosplay as Sailor Moon in defense of the Jedi Temple — though he did manage to use the Force to hip check 17 Star Destroyers so hard it sent Gilad Pellaeon's mustache a'quivering. The best we can say about these chapters is: .................the book is almost over. Also, KNIGHT HAMMER. 💀 -
Saknas det avsnitt?
-
Folks, this book is rough enough that maybe even fat free flavor crystals sprinkled on a sarcastic omniscient space clam can't save it. Everyone is getting done dirty in this section, from the entire Wampa race down to Wedge Antilles. Our heroes hop all over the galaxy, finding out things that other people already know and gaslighting their significant others, friends, and/or protégées. Even more upsetting are the gratuitous mentions of Pellaeon's depression mustache. Our hosts dive deep into Crix Madine's baffling uniform to distract themselves from the impossible task of figuring out how much time has elapsed so far in this book (Five years? Two days? The galaxy may never know).
-
Fair warning: if you identify as a woman or a Mon Calamari, there's not much to appreciate about these chapters. Leia finally gets to go out with her family — to eat a salad. Admiral Ackbar can't even make it past the Corneria mission in Star Fox 64 — despite being a revered war vet. Qwi Xux is supposedly a brilliant scientist — but more importantly, Wedge thinks she's hot. And even though Callista tried to break up with Luke Skywalker, she continues to follow him around the galaxy — enduring Wampa attacks and an endless barrage of stories about his gap year on Dagobah.
-
This is really a book about getting the gang back together if you think about it! Luke asks the New Republic for some PTO to head off with Callista to find the Force on an ice resort for rich people (we don't get it either). Kyp Durran is allowed to graduate to full Jedi and just...peace out to go after a vague hunch (talk about the Luke Skywalker school of Jedi-ing). Han and Leia ponder what to do about the whole Hutt situation. And Admirals Daala and Pelleon (and his mustache) prep for a Very Important Meeting.
-
Now that we're done with the Dune stuff, things are getting stranger. The Hutts raid Coruscant's central computer with the help of slapstick weasels. Luke decides to graduate three students who just "feel ready" - including tipped turbolaser Kyp Durron, so that he can get the New Republic to approve his PTO. No one on Yavin 4 acknowledges the total body horror of Callista taking the body of their friend and fellow student. Luke and Callista engage in performative PDA that is giving us the ick through space and time. And HOOOO BOY...do we get why Timmy Zahn might have wanted to lock down future appearances by one Mara Jade after this little flyby. But whatever is written here, the Delulu crew knows the truth: Mara deserves better...and Mara and Lando totally boned.
-
With great personal bravery, we continue with the "Callista Trilogy" and crack open Kevin J. Anderson's Darksaber: a book that would like you to find fellow Star Wars Fans on the World Wide Web. Although the cover would suggest that an Empire era Luke Skywalker is embracing life as a bisexual icon alongside his devoted friend Kurt Russell, most of these chapters take place on Tatooine! Han and Luke go undercover with some Tusken Raiders (who appear to have some culture after all...) and break into Jabba's Palace to try and find out what his fellow Hutts are up to (no good, obviously). And we meet lovable Imperial bumbler/David Lynch clone Bevil Lemelisk: a man who just wants get some lunch in his tum tum but sadly must oversee an evil mining operation instead.
-
What is there to say about these chapters? Our intrepid hosts take a cue from Lando, light up a metaphorical cigarette with our electronic space jackets, and lie down on a cosmic people mover to be passively borne towards an unsatisfying conclusion. In the end, Vuffi Raa abandons his brief career as a fashion accessory to chose true love over being a narc, Mohs loses his eyeballs but gains the knowledge of how his ancestors sold him out, Lando flies off into the sunset, and the Mindharp phones home.
-
Patreon's prompt for this description is, "Why do you create?" And honestly, when the source material is this bad, it's a great question. Mostly to yell about someone else's art, I guess? Anyway: join us as we traipse from sabacc table to sabacc table — from tapcafé to tapcafé — at the whim of a threatening magician, to discover what the actual heck a mindharp is. The good news is that there is a lot of goofiness (dinosaurs! jackalopes!) sprinkled among some terrible eugenicist nonsense. We learn (unsurprisingly) that Lando Calrissian can never be without a cumberbund. Even in bed. Even tied to a cactus. Even, somehow, while also wearing a loincloth.
-
Don't you just wish, though. Don't you just wish in your heart of hearts that some Skywalker would come up in here trying something froggy...and then two very intelligent women would stun him right in the face? In the exciting conclusion to this mostly incredible novel: Luke's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week comes to a close and he gets that office romance he's been dreaming about (at least, for now!). As we all know, with great power comes great reshpronsatrilatrix — and it's Callista who pays the price for messing with how the Force works.
Meanwhile, Leia gets temporarily lost in the k-hole before outwitting Roganda and her asshole teen using her extensive knowledge of aristocratic rules and some dope Force jumps. Han and Lando remain supportive side pieces to their very angry and very competent lady partners. R2 and 3PO reunite to continue what is possibly the healthiest relationship in all of Star Wars (?).
Oh! And here's that Billy Dee Williams clip. Enjoy. -
Luke Skywalker, whose leg is about to fall off, processes his trauma by banging it out on the astral plane. Leia Organa of the Alderaanian Organas leans on her training in royal eyelash batting to avoid execution and spends a night in white-collar prison curled up with a good book.
This week's chapters are full of $5 words...including ones made up by a friend of the show! We are proud to present you with "Trümmernverliebtheittyp," a brand new word that means "a-guy-who-only-has-a-crush-when-his-life-is-in-shambles" (aka: Luke Skywalker). -
Another valiant battle to make it through four chapters of this fine novel! Luke and Callista come up with a plan to distract the Gamorreans holding Cray. While they're building it, they lie around on the office floor having deep freshman year conversations about their childhoods and why the Force is just like, the best. Threepio uses the power of diplomacy and tasty recipes to save the day. Leia figures out who is following her through the goddamn mists, and is forced to confront the cold dead hand of the galactic aristocracy once more.
-
Luke Skywalker's no good, very bad day continues as he and Threepio amp up their search for Cray (now on trial for treason) and he runs into some old Tatooine acquaintances. It becomes more and more clear that the Will has absolutely noticed what Luke's up to and is trying its best to ensure he has a convenient accident. But there's another, more helpful presence on the ship. Perhaps that of a fellow Jedi and colleague who liked whales a whole lot and doesn't currently have a body (but does still have an amazing head of spiritual hair).
Meanwhile, Han and Chewie have an extremely bad day of their own in Belsavis' smugger tunnels. After throwing up a lot of sulfur water, Han manages to get Mara Jade on the phone... and then get himself into a tasteful sarong to seduce his wife through the strategic use of bare forearms. Sadly, a night that began in the beautiful light of 1996's finest floating candles ends with a bang as Artoo fails to execute an extremely elaborate homicide. Stay strong lil buddy!! -
We're not entirely sure what it says about us or him, but we love a concussed Luke Skywalker. 🤷🏻♀️ If you thought the trauma of needing his bones replaced in Truce at Bakura was bad, wait til you get a load of this Luke: he's got migraines, he's got collapsing lungs, he's taken an axe to his Achilles...and somehow he's still exploring an enormous spaceship, hanging out with 3PO, and refusing to swear. Meanwhile, Leia Organa Solo manages to go on a hiking tour of a multi-biome planet, slum it up in a row of dive bars, and plan a visit to the archives all in one day because she's the somehow unrecognizable and also most famous girl boss in the entire galaxy.
-
Sometimes, you simply cannot get through five chapters of a Star Wars because there is TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. A cover that gives Luke Skywalker an insane glow-up (and a normal haircut for once), and shows the Falcon at her best (flying off into a romantic sunset). A book that's unafraid to begin with the number one scourge of the 90s (ACID RAIN) and takes us to worlds where New Republican citizens are building beautiful solar punk futures and also partying hard. A love so true there ain't no mountain high enough (or valley uncanny enough) to keep 'em apart. Not to mention Luke Skywalker having a scary/sad dream about the distinctive sound of Aunt Beru's yoghurt maker in the middle of the night. Oh, and evil has awakened somewhere out in the galaxy, blah blah blah. You know the drill: a Skywalker's gotta stop it.
-
Our intrepid hosts finish this best-selling book! Before we dive into the action, we undertake a wide ranging investigation into Corran Horn's height, and whether or not he qualifies not only as Best Boy, but also Short King. Then it's back to Black(moon), baby, for a rollercoaster of emotion as Wedge does what Wedge does best and Corran hides in a cave contemplating his rapidly approaching death. Luckily, Mirax and Tycho swoop in for a last minute rescue/shoot out/bake off/prank on Wedge. And we learn the secret of Emtrey's scrounge capabilities thanks to a well researched Han Mail. Small spoiler for the next X-Wing book, which we'll likely return to in the future. It's been a fun ride!
-
How come they always read like fan fic except in the ways you want them to?! These chapters are full of horniness and a big ol' flirt triangle...but have absolutely no making out whatsoever for incredibly convoluted reasons we just can't parse. Wedge (aka "Veggie") leads most of the gang back to Blackmoon (except for Erisi who is pining for Corran and Ooryl who is pining for an arm). Mirax uncovers Emtrey's wildly complicated insider trading scheme involving Alderaanian pork bellies and super hot super baddie Ysanne Isard forces Kirtan Loor into the worst workplace punishment imaginable: a group project.
-
We could call this Ch. 26-30 of Rogue Squadron but it's maybe more accurate to say we're diving in to How To Blow Up A Pipeline by Horton Salm? Rogue Squadron et al. get their shit rocked at Blackmoon thanks to Bothan overconfidence. Corran dreams of making out with Erisi in a Windows '95 desktop image. Just as he's on his way to getting well and truly drunk with a new commando friend, Emtrey and Whistler team up in a rare double scrounge that could change the fate of the New Republic. Kirtan Loor gets dusty. Wedge does his best as a matchmaker. Plus, we annouce our next book (picked in an authentically New Republic fashion that's democratic if you squint really, really hard)!
-
Corran Horn pulls off a bonkers maneuver that saves the whole Squadron — and also gets him accused of Lite Treason (TM) / confined to his quarters. The rest of the crew feels sorry for him, but not so sorry that they refrain from either making out with each other in said quarters...or trying to make out with him due to battle victory horniness. Mirax is the only person who knows that the way to a true Corellian Man's heart is through cake. (Also: is Corellia called "COREllia" because it's in the Core? Because if so.......don't tell me, it'll just make me mad.)
-
Buckle up as our hosts follow Rogue Squadron into combat once more! First, there's some very fancy flying, followed by much unfancy drinking out of what one can only assume are space Solo cups (is Han Solo secret heir to a cup fortune? Is this where the $ for his teen swoop racing career came from?). The drinking leads to some extremely complex emotional math over who is the squad's Best Boy and who is Chump of the Week. But all Best Boy math is on the back burner as Kirtan Loor pinpoints the location of the Rogues' base with his own math based investigation. Corran and Ooryl race to prevent a late night massacre. And Admiral Ackbar once again begs his officers to take a nap.
- Visa fler
