• “How much can there really be to learn about storytelling?” I thought when I started on this mini-series.It turns out that there’s actually quite a lot to learn, and that family storytelling can be a particularly useful tool for parents. We’re all trying to figure out how to transmit our values to our children, and storytelling can be quite an effective way of doing this. Further, storytelling can be a really valuable way to support children in overcoming traumatic experiences. In this episode we dig into the research on the benefits of family storytelling and look at how to do it. Other episodes mentioned in this showhttps://yourparentingmojo.com/reggio/ (Is a Reggio Emilia-inspired preschool right for my child?)https://yourparentingmojo.com/siblings/ (Siblings: Why do they fight and what can we do about it?)https://yourparentingmojo.com/warplay/ (Why we shouldn’t ban war play) Read Full TranscriptTranscriptHello, and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. Regular listeners will recall that we are working through a couple of different series of episodes at the moment; one on the importance of play, and the other on storytelling. On the storytelling front, we started by talking with Dr. Deena Weisberg of the University of Pennsylvania about what children learn from fictional stories, and then we learned about the positive impacts that storytelling can have on children’s academic outcomes – and by storytelling I mean stories that are learned and told rather than read. Today we’re going to talk about a concept that Dr. Laura Froyen, who has been on the show a couple of times introduced me to – and that is the idea of family stories. These are the stories told within families about some or all of the family members’ experiences, some of which may be told so often that they become known as family legacies. I was particularly interested in this idea because Laura had mentioned that family storytelling can have really beneficial outcomes on family cohesion so I wanted to learn more about it. We’ll follow up this episode with the last in our series on storytelling in a couple of weeks where I plan to learn how to learn a story, and then tell it to my daughter while you listen in.So different researchers have different ideas about the primary functions of family stories. Walter Fisher, a professor emeritus at the University of Southern California, theorized that narration can be divided into two types – “recounting” or “accounting for.” Recounting narratives include history, biography, and autobiography – things like how the parents met, or the birth of a child. Accounting for narratives attempt to explain or account for a family member’s personality traits or behavior. A story can also function in both ways: for example, when a mother tells a child the story of his birth: “You were born early in the morning— at about 6 a.m.! You must have liked that because ever since then, you’ve been my early bird, always getting up with the sun.”One doctoral student described the main functions in her thesis as being firstly to know who we are and what we value, secondly to maintain us as a family, thirdly to laugh, and fourthly to remember the past. Elizabeth Stone, in a fabulous book on family storytelling called Black Sheep and Kissing Cousins, says the functions of family stories are firstly to persuade family members they are special, secondly to teach about the ways of the world and the family’s methods of coping with troubles and successes, and thirdly helping a person to know his or her own identity. Undoubtedly, family stories are strategies of family cultural maintenance and socialization tools – they help parents to share family values and lessons in growing up. Some of the themes related to socialization that researchers have observed include health behaviors like smoking marijuana and eating habits, values, gender expectations, and family and...

  • I actually hadn’t realized what a can of worms I was opening when I started the research for today’s episode, which is on the topic of manners and politeness. It began innocently enough – as an English person, for whom manners are pretty important, I started to wonder why my almost three-year-old doesn’t have better manners yet. It turns out that it was a much more difficult subject to research than I’d anticipated, in part because it draws on a variety of disciplines, from child development to linguistics.And at the heart of it, I found myself torn between two different perspectives. The parenting philosophy that underlies the respectful relationship I have with my daughter, which is called Resources for Infant Educarers, or RIE, advocates for the use of modeling to transmit cultural information like manners – if you, the parent, are a polite person, then your child will learn about manners. On the flip side of that is the practice of saying “what do you say?” or something similar when you want your child to say “please” or “thank you,” something that I know a lot of parents do. My general approach has been to model good manners consistently but I do find it drives me bananas when my daughter says “I want a [whatever it is]” without saying “please,” and RIE also says parents should set a limit on behavior when they find it annoying. So I have been trying to walk a fine line between always modeling good manners and requiring a “please” before I acquiesce to a demand, and I wondered whether research could help me to come down on one side or the other of this line and just be sure about what I’m doing. So this episode is going to be about my explorations through the literature on this topic, which are winding and convoluted – actually both the literature and my explorations are winding and convoluted, and by the time we get to the end I hope to sort out how I’m going to instill a sense of politeness in my daughter, and how you might be able to do it for your child as well. Other episodes referenced in this showhttps://yourparentingmojo.com/004-how-to-encourage-creativity-and-artistic-ability-in-young-children/ (004: How to encourage creativity and artistic ability in children (and symbolic representation))https://yourparentingmojo.com/lying/ (026: Is my child lying to me? (Hint: yes!))https://yourparentingmojo.com/005-how-to-scaffold-childrens-learning/ (005: How to “scaffold” children’s learning to help them succeed)https://yourparentingmojo.com/chores/ (034: How do I get my child to do chores?)https://yourparentingmojo.com/007-help-toddler-wont-eat-vegetables/ (007: Help! My toddler won’t eat vegetables)https://yourparentingmojo.com/pink/ (031: Parenting beyond pink and blue)https://yourparentingmojo.com/006-wait-is-my-toddler-racist/ (006: Wait, is my toddler racist?)References Becker, J.A. (1988). The success of parents’ indirect techniques for teaching their preschoolers pragmatic skills. First Language 8, 173-182.Brown, P., & Levinson, S.C. (1987). Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.De Lucca Freitas, L.B., Pieta, M.A.M., & Tudge, J.R.H. (2011). Beyond Politeness: The expression of gratitude in children and adolescents. Psicologia: Reflexao e Critica 24(4), 757-764.Durlack, J.A., Weissberg, R.P., Dymnicki, A.B., Taylor, R.D., & Schellinger, K.B. (2011). The impact of enhancing student’s social and emotional learning: A meta-analysis of school-based universal interventions. Child Development 82(1), 405-432.Einzig, R. (2015). Model graciousness. Retrieved from: https://visiblechild.wordpress.com/2015/09/02/model-graciousness/ (https://visiblechild.wordpress.com/2015/09/02/model-graciousness/) (Also see Robin’s Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/visiblechildinc/ (https://www.facebook.com/visiblechildinc/))Ervin-Tripp, S., Guo, J., & Lampert, M. (1990)....

  • We’re a couple of weeks into the new school year by now and I hope that for most of you the morning drop-offs have gotten a bit easier than they were in the beginning.But some of you may still be struggling with a child who doesn’t want to go to school, who resists you leaving at drop-0ff time, and who might be suddenly suffering from stomachaches and headaches (particularly on Sunday nights or weekday mornings) that had not previously been a problem.Today’s interview with http://www.changeanxiety.com/about.htm#Dalton (Dr. Jonathan Dalton), director of the Center for Anxiety and Behavioral Change in Rockville, MD is going to help us understand whether our child is having a ‘normal’ amount of difficulty transitioning to school or if they are struggling enough that they might need extra help – and if so, what to do about it. ReferencesBergin, C., & Bergin, D. (2009). Attachment in the classroom. Educational Psychology Review 21, 141-170.Dalton, J., & Beacon, V. (2018). School refusal. In D. Driver & S.S. Thomas (Eds.), Complex disorders in pediatric psychiatry: A clinician’s guide (pp 11-22). St. Louis, MO: Elsevier.Egger, H.L., Costello, J., & Angold, A. (2003). School refusal and psychiatric disorders: A community study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 42(7), 797-807.Hallinan, M.T. (2008). Teacher influences on students’ attachment to school. Sociology of Education 81, 271-283.Hamre, B.K., & Pianta, R.C. (2001). Early teacher-child relationships and the trajectory of children’s school outcomes through eighth grade. Child Development 72(2), 625-638.Houts, R.M., Caspi, A., Pianta, R.C., Arseneault, L., & Moffitt, T.E. (2010) The challenging pupil in the classroom: The effect of the child on the teacher. Psychological Science 21(12), 1802-1810.Jerome, E.M., Hamre, B.K., & Pianta, R.C. (2009). Teacher-child relationships from kindergarten to sixth grade: Early childhood predictors of teacher-perceived conflict and closeness. Social Development 18(4), 915-945.Kearney, C.A. (2016). Managing school-based absenteeism at multiple tiers: An evidence-based and practical guide for professionals. Oxford, U.K.: Oxford University Press.Kearney, C.A., & Albano, A.M. (2007). When children refuse school: A cognitive-behavioral therapy approach, Therapist guide (2nd Ed.). Oxford, U.K.: Oxford University Press.Kearney, C.A. (2006). Dealing with school refusal behavior: A primer for family physicians. Family Practice 55(8), 685-692.Kearney, C.A. (2002). Identifying the function of school refusal behavior: A revision of the school refusal assessment scale. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment 24(4), 235-245.King, N., Tonge, B.J., Heyne, D., & Ollendick, T.H. (2000). Research on the cognitive-behavioral treatment of school refusal: A review and recommendations. Clinical Psychology Review 20(4), 495-507.Ladd, G.W., & Dinella, L.M. (2009). Continuity and change in early school engagement: Predictive of children’s achievement trajectories from first to eighth grade? Journal of Educational Psychology 101(1), 190-206.Ladd, G.W., & Buhs, E.S., & Seid, M. (2000). Children’s initial sentiments about kindergarten: Is school liking an antecedent of early classroom participation and achievement? Merrill-Palmer Quarterly 46(2), 255-279.Last, C. G., Hansen, C., & Franco, N. (1998). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of school phobia. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 37, 404–411.Pianta, R. C., Belsky, J., Vandergrift, N., Houts, R. M., & Morrison, F. J. (2008). Classroom effects on children’s achievement trajectories in elementary school. American Educational Research Journal 45 (2), 365–397  Read Full Transcript  TranscriptJen:...

  • My guest for The Happy Hour # 236 is Shruthi Parker. Shruthi is a professional blogger and event host. Shruthi recently hosted Keep Austin Warm in December 2018 which benefited three Austin nonprofits. Shruthi is passionate about connecting people together and sharing different perspectives with different crowds. Shruthi and her husband live in Austin along with their two rascal dogs. 

    Whether you love it or hate it, social media can bring people together. I met Shruthi through social media and it turns out we go to the same church and live in the same city! After having coffee, I knew I wanted to bring her on the show to share her story. Shruthi and I start off talking about her conversion from Hindu to Christianity that started with a friend named Faye in the 8th grade who invited her to small group. Shruthi shares how this started her down a path that, years later, would bring her to praying "who is God? I need to know who you are, and I need you to be over my life". I got tears in my eyes as Shruthi told me how God revealed His truth while she listened to her boyfriend recite Romans in a Barnes and Noble. She tells us how she hid her faith from her family for fear of disapproval, and how the secret was finally revealed and caused a deep divide. You'll also get to hear about Shruthi's blog and how God used a job that fell through for an even better plan that He had for her. 

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  • उसके पिता ने बड़े दुलार से उसका नाम रक्खा था-‘कला’। नवीन इन्दुकला-सी वह आलोकमयी और आँखों की प्यास बुझानेवाली थी। विद्यालय में सबकी दृष्टि उस सरल-बालिका की ओर घूम जाती थी; परन्तु रूपनाथ और रसदेव उसके विशेष भक्त थे। कला भी कभी-कभी उन्हीं दोनों से बोलती थी, अन्यथा वह एक सुन्दर नीरवता ही बनी रहती।

    तीनों एक-दूसरे से प्रेम करते थे, फिर भी उनमें डाह थी। वे एक-दूसरे को अधिकाधिक अपनी ओर आकर्षित देखना चाहते थे। छात्रावास में और बालकों से उनका सौहार्द नहीं। दूसरे बालक और बालिकायें आपस में इन तीनों की चर्चा करतीं।

    कोई कहता-‘‘कला तो इधर आँख उठाकर देखती भी नहीं।’’

    दूसरा कहता-‘‘रूपनाथ सुन्दर तो है, किन्तु बड़ा कठोर।’’

    तीसरा कहता-‘‘रसदेव पागल है। उसके भीतर न जाने कितनी हलचल है। उसकी आँखों में निश्छल अनुराग है; पर कला को जैसे सबसे अधिक प्यार करता है।’’

    उन तीनों को इधर ध्यान देने का अवकाश नहीं। वे छात्रावास की फुलवारी में, अपनी धुन में मस्त विचरते थे। सामने गुलाब के फूल पर एक नीली तितली बैठी थी। कला उधर देखकर गुनगुना रही थी। उसकी सजन स्वर-लहरी अवगुण्ठित हो रही थी। पतले-पतले अधरों से बना हुआ छोटे-से मुँह का अवगुण्ठन उसे ढँकने में असमर्थ था। रूप एकटक देख रहा था और रस नीले आकाश में आँखे गड़ाकर उस गुञ्जार की मधुर श्रुति में काँप रहा था।

    रूप ने कहा-‘‘आह, कला! जब तुम गुनगुनाने लगती हो, तब तुम्हारे अधरों में कितनी लहरें खेलती है। भवें जैसे अभिव्यक्ति के मंच पर चढ़ती-उतरती कितनी अमिट रेखायें हृदय पर बना देती हैं।’’ रूप की बातें सुनकर कला ने गुनगुनाना बन्द कर दिया। रस ने व्याघात समझ कर भ्रू-भंग सहित उसकी ओर देखा।

    कला ने कहा-‘‘अब मैं घर जाऊँगी, मेरी शिक्षा समाप्त हो चुकी।’’

    दोनों लुट गये। रूप ने कहा- ‘‘मैं तुम्हारा चित्र बनाकर उसकी पूजा करूँगा।’’

    रस ने कहा-‘‘भला तुम्हें कभी भूल सकता हूँ।’’

    कला चली गई। एक दिन वसन्त के गुलाब खिले थे, सुरभि से छात्रावास का उद्यान भर रहा था। रूपनाथ और रसदेव बैठे हुए कला की बातें कर रहे थे।

    रूपनाथ ने कहा-‘‘उसका रूप कितना सुन्दर है!’’

    रसदेव ने कहा-‘‘और उसके हृदय के सौन्दर्य का तो तुम्हें ध्यान ही नहीं।’’

    ‘‘हृदय का सौन्दर्य ही तो आकृति ग्रहण करता है, तभी मनोहरता रूप में आती है।’’

    ‘‘परन्तु कभी-कभी हृदय की अवस्था आकृति से नहीं खुलती, आँखे धोखा खाती हैं।’’

    ‘‘मैं रूप से हृदय की गहराई नाप लूँगा। रसदेव, तुम जानते हो कि मैं रेखा-विज्ञान में कुशल हूँ। मैं चित्र बनाकर उसे जब चाहूँगा, प्रत्यक्ष कर लूँगा। उसका वियोग मेरे लिए कुछ भी नहीं है।’’

    ‘‘आह! रूपनाथ! तुम्हारी आकांक्षा साधन-सापेक्ष है। भीतर की वस्तु को बाहर लाकर संसार की दूषित वायु से उसे नष्ट होने के लिए। ....’’

    ‘‘चुप रहो, तुम मन-ही-मन गुनगुनाया करो। कुछ है भी तुम्हारे हृदय में? कुछ खोलकर कह या दिखला सकते हो? .... कहकर रूपनाथ उठकर जाने लगा।

    क्षुब्ध होकर उसका कन्धा पीछे से पकड़ते हुए रसदेव ने कहा-‘‘तो मैं उसकी उपासना करने में असमर्थ हूँ?’’

    रूपनाथ अवहेलना में देखता हुआ मुस्कराता चला गया।

    काल के विशृंखल पवन ने उन तीनों को जगत् के अञ्चल पर बिखेर दिया, पर वे सदैव एक दूसरे को स्मरण करते रहे। रूपनाथ एक चतुर चित्रकार बन गया। केवल कला का चित्र बनाने के लिए अपने अभ्यास को उसने और भी प्रखर कर लिया। वह अपनी प्रेम-छवि की पूजा के नित्य नये उपकरण जुटाता। वह पवन के थपेड़े से मुँह फेरे हुए फूलों का श्रृङ्गार , चित्रपटी के जंगलों को देता। उसकी तूलिका से जड़ होकर भीतरी आन्दोलनों से बाह्य दृश्य अनेक सुन्दर आकृतियों की विकृतियों में स्थायी बना दिये जाते। उसकी बड़ी ख्याति थी। फिर भी उसका गर्वस्फीत सिर अपनी चित्रशाला में आकर न जाने क्यों नीचे झुक जाता। वह अपने अभाव को जानता था, पर किसी से कहता न था। वह आज भी कला का अपने मनोनुकूल चित्र नहीं बना पाया।

    रसदेव का जीवन नीरव निकुञ्जों में बीत रहा था। वह चुपचाप रहता। नदी-तट पर बैठे हुए उस पार की परियाली देखते-देखते अन्धकार का परदा खींच लेना, यही उसकी दिनचर्या थी, और नक्षत्र-माला-सुशोभित गगन के नीचे अवाक्, निस्पन्द पड़े हुए , सकुतूहल आँखों से जिज्ञासा करती उसकी रात्रिचर्या।

    कुछ संगीतों की असंगति और कुछ अस्पष्ट छाया उसके हृदय की निधि थी, पर लोग उसे निकम्मा, पागल और आलसी कहते। एकाएक रजनी में, सरिता कलोल करती हुई बही जा रही थी। रसदेव ने कल्पना के नेत्रों से देखा, अकस्मात् नदी का जल स्थिर हो गया और अपने मरकत-मृणाल पर एक सहस्रदल मणि-पद्म जल-तल के ऊपर आकर नैशपवन में झूमने लगा। लहरों में स्वर के उपकरण से मूर्ति बनी, फिर नूपुरों की झनकार होने लगी। धीर मन्थर गति से तरल आस्तरण पर पैर रखते हुए एक छवि आकर उस कमल पर बैठ गई।

    रसदेव बड़बड़ा उठा। वह काली रजन

  • We continue our series, Breastfeeding Expectations, where we follow three breastfeeding moms through the children's first year of life. At nine months, what does their breastfeeding relationship look like? What is reverse cycling and how is it impacting one of our panelists? Plus, the challenge of keeping up your milk supply and maintaining a full-time job.
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