Grace Jones Podcasts
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Har Pernilla blivit cringe? Sofia flaggar. Magnus heta natt med Pamela Anderson. Vad som händer hemma hos Grace Jones stannar där. Dansband och ångestattacker. En discorestaurang och en airfryer. En QX gala som sprider kärlek och en Mello som kunde varit bättre.
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There’s an old adage in the customer service world that says, “Nobody calls to say they love you.” These are true words, and they apply well beyond call centers at banks and cable companies.
In general, people tend to use the comments section of the Internet, and any place where they can say things, to talk about how bad things are. When given it, humans will take the opportunity to complain, share horror stories, look for confirmation that their disasters are in fact disasters, and to share misery. It would appear that this is how we are wired, so I’m not blaming anyone or finding fault in this.
Please keep in mind that this natural tendency toward the negative applies not only when reviewing a car dealership or restaurant. This applies in mental health and anxiety as well, which is a very important thing to remember if you’re reading this right now.
If you go online to find out how others are handling anxiety, panic, intrusive thoughts, or any related problem, expect to find complaints, horror stories, disasters, and a torrent of misery. Why? Because people will take to the Internet to speak their problems out loud in the hope of finding a solution. The issue is that we are long on problems and generally short on solutions or solution providers, so we wind up with an avalanche of negative, scary, stories that will make you think that you have no hope of ever getting better.
Everyone will join a Facebook group to talk about how bad they feel. Nobody will join a Facebook group to talk about how they are NOT anxious. When you also join a Facebook group to talk about how bad you feel, you will be confronted with all the other people that are doing the same. The same holds true in the comments section on YouTube and Instagram, or on Twitter or Reddit. You will see LOTS of negative and very little positive.
When people get better they generally stop going on the Internet to talk about anxiety. When people are making progress in recovery, they tend to not need to commiserate any more. When anxiety isn’t a problem any longer, there’s no reason to talk about it, so people don’t. People simply do not call customer service for help if there is no problem. This does not mean that nobody gets better or that it is near impossible to get better. It just means that very few people get better then come back to tell you about it. This makes the Internet look like confirmation that you are doomed, when nothing could be farther from the truth.
Why should you care about this situation? Because when you are searching for hope and find only nightmare stories, an anxious brain is especially vulnerable to drawing incorrect conclusions that center on never getting better, being anxious forever, and losing everything as a result. This is to be expected, but this is also not necessarily accurate.
So when you find yourself Googling, forum surfing, and diving head first into the deep end of “anxiety support” on the Internet, please keep this bias in mind. You are almost always going to see far more negative than positive dialogue, but this is not reflective of reality in any way. Then, maybe pull back and stop looking for support so much if you find that it’s making you feel worse or more helpless.
If you hate hamburgers but love tacos, you might not go into a McDonalds because McDonalds has hambugers. The good news is that there are still tacos in the world, even when you can’t see them in a McDonalds.
When negative posts, horror stories, and the sharing of suffering negatively impacts you, maybe step away from the Internet, because the Internet has those things. There is still recovery in the world, even if you can’t see it from the comments section.
Everyone has to make their own decisions. I still believe in that. You just have to accept the consequences without complaining. - Grace Jones
Every Friday I’ll share one of my favorite quotes. They’ll often have direct application in recovery, but sometimes they’re just generally funny, inspiring, or thought-provoking. I hope you enjoy them.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theanxiousmorning.substack.com
