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How to end a relationship lovingly, how to love an addict, and how to keep surprising yourself in midlife (buy the tap dancing shoes). Plus, why Cheryl decided to cut down her drinking.
For our past episodes with Cheryl, listen to Episode 118 Cheryl Strayed: Don’t Let Your Dreams Ruin Your Life and Episode 119 It’s Okay to Want What You Want: Cheryl Strayed as Dear Sugar.
For the Amanda episode Cheryl mentioned, listen to Episode 177 How to Face Your Biggest Fears with Amanda Doyle.
About Cheryl:
Cheryl Strayed is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, which has sold more than 4 million copies worldwide and was made into an Oscar-nominated film. Her bestselling collection of Dear Sugar columns, Tiny Beautiful Things, was adapted for a Hulu television show that will be released in April. In 2016, the book was adapted as a play that continues to be staged in theaters around the world. Strayed is also the author of the critically acclaimed novel, Torch, and the bestselling collection Brave Enough. She lives in Portland, Oregon.
TW: @CherylStrayed
IG: @cherylstrayed
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1. What happens inside us when we receive criticism–and how our brains ensure we’re always in the right (even when we’re not).
2. The three-ingredient recipe for a positive, productive “care-frontation” exchange.
3. The single biggest relationship killer (it’s not conflict) – and how conflict can bring you closer.
4. Amanda navigates a “care-frontation” with her son’s friend’s family – and Abby reevaluates her past relationship with criticism.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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421. How to Stop the War, the Bill & the Trump Regime with Sen. Elizabeth Warren
If you, like us, have been active in fighting our descent into facism, but are wondering what the Democratic party’s plan is to stop the Trump regime, join us as we ask Senator Elizabeth Warren today what the Democratic party is doing – and what we can do.
Listen to this episode for Senator Warren’s answers to your questions on the “Big Beautiful Bill,” War with Iran, Gaza, and midterms — and clear calls to action: how to find your representatives, and scripts for the three things to tell them to do.
For contact info for your Congress members, go to: https://www.congress.gov/members/find-your-member
About Senator Warren:
Elizabeth Warren, the senior Senator from Massachusetts and top Democrat on the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs, is a fearless consumer advocate and one of the nation’s leading progressive voices. Before becoming the first woman ever elected to the Senate from Massachusetts in 2012, Elizabeth led the fight to create the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, an agency established in the aftermath of the financial crisis to protect consumers from predatory financial practices. Elizabeth lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with her husband Bruce and their golden retriever, Bailey.
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420. What Glennon Saw at LA Protests & Immigration Court with Lillian Aponte Miranda
We’re in the midst of hard things: ICE raids are escalating, fascism is rising—and unaccompanied immigrant children, some as young as two, are being forced to face U.S. immigration court alone. In this urgent episode, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda speak with Lillian Aponte Miranda of The Florence Project to explain what’s happening and how we can show up to help.
-Why unaccompanied children are being left to navigate the legal system alone -A firsthand look at what unaccompanied immigrant children are facing in courtrooms across the country. -How to use your body, voice, and resources to protect the most vulnerable
To support, go to treatmedia.com and make a donation through the Protect the Children tab. Also, all purchases of We Can Do Hard Things merchandise via the Shop tab will be donated to this cause.
About Lillian: Lillian Aponte Miranda is the Executive Director of the Florence Project, where she has served since 2014 in roles including Staff Attorney, Pro Bono Mentor, Children’s Program Manager, and Co-Executive Director. She became the sole Executive Director in 2023. Before joining the Florence Project, Lillian was an Associate Professor of Law at Florida International University, where for over a decade she taught courses on International Human Rights, Indigenous Peoples’ Rights, and Civil Procedure, among others.
The Florence Project provides free legal services, social services, and advocacy to immigrants facing detention and potential deportation. Find out more here: https://firrp.org/
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Michelle Zauner on how to begin healing our mother wounds, using her sensitivity to deepen her relationships and be a rockstar, why she’s obsessed with sheetcake and winnebagos, and why she is still “afraid of her mental health.”
About Michelle:
MICHELLE ZAUNER is best known as a singer and guitarist who creates dreamy, shoegaze-inspired indie pop under the name Japanese Breakfast. She has won acclaim from major music outlets around the world for releases like Psychopomp and Soft Sounds from Another Planet. Her most recent album, Jubilee, earned two GRAMMY nominations for Best New Artist and Best Alternative Music Album. Her first book, Crying in H Mart, is a New York Times Best Seller. She’s currently adapting the memoir for the screen for MGM’s Orion Pictures.
TW: @jbrekkie
IG: @jbrekkie
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1. Why sharing your messy middle with someone is a gift and connection builder, not a burden.
2. The reasons why we don’t ask for the help we desperately need.
3. “Vague favs” and why are they a hard No for Amanda.
4. Abby, Glennon, and Amanda each share something they need help with right now.
5. The science behind Help as one of the most effective relationship-enhancing tools, and the best ways to finally ask for it.
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419. How to Stay Human with Suleika Jaouad
Artist and New York Times bestselling author, Suleika Jaouad, returns to discuss the importance of creative processes for staying human.
-The surprising ways attachment theory shapes our creative expression and self-worth.
-Challenges artists face when promoting their work—and how Glennon and Suleika resist the public pressures.
-A simple yet powerful journaling practice to unlock self-connection and creative clarity.
Suleika Jaouad is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir Between Two Kingdoms. She wrote the Emmy Award-winning New York Times column and video series “Life, Interrupted,” and she is also the subject, along with husband Jon Batiste, of the Oscar-nominated documentary American Symphony. A visual artist, her large-scale watercolors are the focus of several upcoming exhibitions. She is also the creator of the Isolation Journals, a weekly newsletter and global community and her latest book, The Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life, is available now.
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418. Why You Can’t Pay Attention—And How to Get It Back with Dr. Amishi Jha
Director of Contemplative Neuroscience and Professor of Psychology at the University of Miami, Dr. Amishi Jha joins us to discuss how we can cultivate and develop our attention in a way that allows us to maximize the meaning, fulfillment, and joy in our lives.
-The three types of attentional systems –and how we use them in our daily lives;
-Why attention is a limited resource – and how to make the most of it;
-Why multitasking is a myth; and
-A mindfulness practice to fuel your attentional capacity in just 12-minutes.
Dr. Amishi Jha, PhD is Director of Contemplative Neuroscience and Professor of Psychology at the University of Miami. She leads research on the neural bases of attention and the effects of mindfulness-based training programs on cognition, emotion, resilience, and performance in education, corporate, elite sports, first-responder, and military contexts. In her national bestseller, Peak Mind she shares her discoveries on how attention can be trained for optimal performance and well-being.
For the Peak Mind book, go to: https://amishi.com/books/peak-mind
For the Peak Mind Interactive app, go to: https://peakmind.media/
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We all want tools to navigate (and minimize!) family drama. Today, Nedra Glover Tawwab teaches us how we can create drama free families: How to speak up for yourself when it feels like going against the group; Why confrontation is often the kindest thing; When, exactly, we should bring up conflict & when to let it go; The most loving way a parent can respond to a child in pain. For more with Nedra Glover Tawwab, check out: Episode 124 How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab.About Nedra: Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries, Find Peace. A licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, she has practiced relationship therapy for more than fifteen years. Tawwab has appeared as an expert on Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS Morning Show to name a few. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Guardian, and Vice. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and relationships. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her family.TW: @NedraTawwabIG: @nedratawwab To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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1. Why it’s important to prioritize our own needs, wants, and feelings–and how that creates freedom and peace for those we love.
2. What Glennon says was the hardest thing about telling her kids that Craig and she were getting a divorce–and how truth telling frees us all.
3. Martha’s helpful strategy for how to choose freedom over fear when we’re faced with a tough decision.
About Martha:
Dr. Martha Beck is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, and speaker. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science, and Oprah Winfrey has called her “one of the smartest women I know.” Martha is a passionate and engaging teacher, known for her unique combination of science, humor, and spirituality. Her newest book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller.
Book: The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self
Instagram: @themarthabeck
Twitter: @marthabeck
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424. Living with Bipolar Disorder: Cameron EspositoStand-up comedian, actor, writer and friend, Cameron Esposito joins us for a conversation about being diagnosed and living with bipolar disorder.-Cameron takes us inside a manic episode and shares what it really felt like-The beauty and heartbreak of loving someone with a mental illness-What it means to be a witness to your own pain and your life-How comedy changes on and off medication for Cameron Cameron Esposito is a standup comic, actor & writer. A nationally and internationally touring headliner, Cameron has released three specials, including the culture-shifting Rape Jokes, and three albums, the award-winning Same Sex Symbol amongst them. As an actor, Cameron has been seen on Netflix, Max, Prime Video, Hulu & many more, as well as in big budget movies & Sundance indies. Cameron is the author of the bestselling book, Save Yourself, about growing up very religious and very gay and hosted the long-running podcast, Queery.Cameron will be on tour with their next hour of standup in select cities this year before it debuts at Chicago’s famed Steppenwolf Theater in the fall. Cameron Esposito released their newest standup special, Four Pills—about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 40 – on comedy streaming service Dropout to broad acclaim; it was featured in Variety, the LA Times and People. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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416. How Their Friendship Became a Revolution | Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig of The L WordLeisha Hailey and Kate Moennig, stars of The L Word, discuss their new book, “So Gay for You: Friendship, Found Family, and the Show That Started It All,” an intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship and queerness. How Kate and Leisha met; their first impressions of each other and going in for the same role The impact and legacy of The L Word and Glennon’s recent introduction to the show Rainbow capitalism, the pressure to publicly “come out,” and the joys of found familyLEISHA HAILEY is an actor, director, executive producer, musician, and podcaster. Hailey is best known for her beloved breakout character Alice Pieszecki in the revolutionary Showtime series The L Word and the reboot, The L Word: Generation Q. Before making her mark on-screen, Hailey cofounded the band The Murmurs in the 1990s, recording three albums for MCA/Universal Records and touring worldwide, including with Lilith Fair. More than a decade later, in 2007, Hailey cofounded the indie pop band Uh Huh Her, which toured internationally and sold albums worldwide. KATE MOENNIG is a critically acclaimed actor and executive producer whose work spans film, television, and theater. She is most known for her iconic role as Shane McCutcheon in the Showtime series The L Word and the reboot, The L Word: Generation Q. Moennig has also starred in Showtime’s hit series Ray Donovan and in Freeform’s breakout series Grown-ish. Moennig’s film credits include the neo-noir legal thriller The Lincoln Lawyer, Lane 1974, and Terry Zwigoff's Art School Confidential. Most recently she can be seen in Liz Feldman's series No Good Deed on Netflix. She currently cohosts the podcast PANTS with Kate and Leisha. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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The Best Advice We’ve Ever Received
Today, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda remember – and share! – the best advice they’ve ever received:
How to honor your needs and become the ultimate expert of you;
Why we all need a friend who believes in our greatness;
How to encourage your kids to live open-hearted;
And why Glennon’s truest thing is that she doesn’t know anything.
Plus, we hear from two pod treasures – Sara Bareilles and Glennon’s 7th grade government teacher, Mrs. Yalen – on their best advice.
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Ross Gay teaches us how to notice delight and joy in our everyday lives. We discuss: concrete ways to rediscover and capture joy every day; how to rebuild your “delight muscle”; how to dissolve the myth of disconnection between us; and how to “unknow” our people so we can delight in them.
About Ross:
Ross Gay is an American poet, essayist, and professor committed to healing the world through observing and articulating joy, delight and gratitude. He won the National Book Critics Circle Award for Poetry and the Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award for his 2014 book, Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude, which was also a finalist for the National Book Award for Poetry. A devoted community gardener, Ross is a founding board member of the Bloomington Community Orchard, a non-profit, free-fruit-for-all food justice and joy project. A college football player, he is a founding editor of the online sports magazine Some Call it Ballin'.
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415. Are You Addicted to Drama? How to Know & How to Fix it with Dr. Scott Lyons
Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and author, discusses the concept of drama addiction. He explains the physiological and psychological mechanisms behind this addiction, how to know if you have one, and how we can begin to break free from these cycles.
-The top question to ask to yourself to understand your trauma
-Why you may feel unsafe when relaxed
-How drama addiction shows up in our own bodies
-Why boredom is actually a good sign on the path to healing
-Beginner steps to start divesting from drama
Dr. Scott Lyons is a licensed holistic psychologist, educator and author of the best selling book Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others Scott is also the host of The Gently Used Human Podcast, a delightfully depthful and often hilarious exploration of what it is to be human, to have lived life, and come out gently used. As a renowned body-based trauma expert and Mind-Body Medicine specialist, Scott also helps people to break free from cycles of pain, limited beliefs, and trauma.
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414. Candace Parker: WHAT’S THE COST OF GREATNESS?
Basketball legend, Candace Parker, joins Abby and Amanda to discuss her illustrious career, her new book, The Can Do Mindset, and explore themes of ambition, sacrifice, and the cost of greatness.
-The surprising reason Candace doesn’t like fame, and what she wants instead
-Candace’s distinction between a boss and a leader that rocked Abby’s world
-How to call someone you love to a higher version of themselves
-Candace’s definition of “enough” and how she works to reach it
Candace Parker has already solidified herself as one of the most influential athletes of this generation. After being selected as the No 1. overall pick in the 2008 WNBA Draft by the Los Angeles Sparks, following a champion career at Tennessee, Parker went on to become the first player to earn WNBA MVP and Rookie of the Year honors in the same season, win three WNBA championship titles, and take home two Olympic gold medals. Off the court, and since retired, she serves as a public speaker, activist, entrepreneur, studio broadcaster for NBA on TNT, and a wife and mother of three.
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1. The one question to ask yourself when deciding whether it’s time to quit something.
2. Why Glennon actually believes that quitting each day is necessary for her survival.
3. The big quits that led Abby to Glennon.
4. Amanda’s unexpected great relief—and hope for your relief—in learning about how we’re all just as happy as we’re ever going to be. (And how, as expected, Glennon disagrees.)
5. Rethinking the ending of a marriage as a positive quit and how to talk to friends going through it.
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1. The question Carson’s sister asked that made him radically reimagine his life.
2. Why Carson is having the best sex of his life.
3. How Carson received sign-off from his Mormon Bishop for his first queer date.
4. The accident that left Carson paralyzed from the chest down at 23.
5. How ableism hurts us all.
About Carson:
Carson Tueller is a coach, speaker and activist whose work provides people with the tools they need to live authentic, fulfilling, and powerful lives. He identifies as queer and disabled. Carson grew up as a Mormon in a military family moving around a lot before settling in Utah. His own journey into powerful living began in 2013 when, in the same year, he came out, and was then injured in an accident that paralyzed him from the chest down. Since then, Carson has brought his work to international nonprofits and presidential campaigns – and when he isn’t coaching or speaking, Carson can be found at the gym, reading non-fiction, or playing Pokemon with his niece and nephews.
TW: @carson_tueller
IG: @carson_tueller
#disabilitypride #disabilitypridemonth
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413. 7 Questions To Reclaim Yourself with Dr. Thema Bryant
Psychologist, author, professor, and minister, Dr. Thema Bryant, joins us to explore how to rebuild a relationship with yourself and why healing that relationship is the foundation for real connection with others.
-The essential shift to stop believing your wounded self is your whole self
-Why you are worthy of grieving—and why recognizing that changes everything
-How to end the hunger for safety—and what to trust instead
-How to stop constantly running and finally learn to stand still
-The question Abby asked that made Amanda nauseous.
Dr. Thema Bryant is a psychologist, professor, sacred artist, minister and author of the new book Matters of the Heart, who teaches how to create healthy relationships, heal trauma, and overcome stress and oppression. She is a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, where she directs the Culture and Trauma Research Laboratory. Dr. Tayma is an ordained elder in the African Methodist Episcopal Church and leads the mental health ministry at First A.M.E. Church in Los Angeles. She was the 2023 president of the American Psychological Association (APA) and is the host of The Homecoming Podcast.
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412. Trusting Yourself Again with Dr. Hillary McBride
Psychologist and researcher, Dr. Hillary McBride, joins us to discuss healing spiritual wounds and learning to trust yourself again.
-Why every family is a religion—and every adult is healing from it-How we lose touch with our own needs and desires—and the steps to reconnect and trust ourselves again.-Why having a rescuer fantasy takes us away from critical thinking and our own autonomy-The two main reasons why you might fall into a high-control group
Dr. Hillary McBride is a Registered Psychologist, researcher, podcaster, author, and speaker, - She has lived experience and clinical expertise in the areas of trauma, embodiment, eating disorders, and the intersection of spirituality and mental health. Her research has focused on women's relationships with their bodies across the lifespan, and her books include: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image; Embodiment and Eating Disorders; The Wisdom of Your Body; and Practices for Embodied Living. Her latest book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing is available now.
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