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Red One says, get that holiday spirit out of here! It's time for a militarized Santa! The Santa exists, and he’s American, and he's also jacked as hell. I wanna know what kind of cookies he's eating to get a bod like that. The Rock, Chris Evans and JK Simmons star in a very expensive movie about Santa Claus and what happens when he's kidnapped. The Rock, a Santa Secret Service member, has to work with Chris Evans, who has been on the naughty list forever, to rescue our favorite little Saint Nick. They have almost no chemistry.
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Apologies about the audio quality, Mi Amor! Santa Mi Amor is about dating a guy who can pull off the look of a hot Santa. Things get tricky, though, when you have lied to your daughter for years about being Santa's daughter. It gets even trickier when that hot Santa wants to get serious, but you're afraid he'll break your daughter's heart! Anyway, this movie is charming and Christmasy and maybe a little silly, but we had a good time talking about it.
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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It's not a Christmas wedding if you don't have a Christmas Wedding Planner! And it's not a real holiday movie watch unless you take time to view a Hallmark-eseque Christmas movie about two people who shouldn't be in love who some how find a way to be in love thanks to the power of Christmas! Also this movie has a fun mystery side plot that makes the cheesiness a little more palatable.
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Ho ho ho! We're here to bring you a rare export: a genuinely good Christmas movie! Rare Exports is a Finnish movie about a young boy and his father who stumble upon a wild project to excavate Santa from a mountain. It's a wild as it seems. It's dark and funny but retains a bit of that Christmas spirit. Also, a surprising amount of old man bits. Thank goodness this is an audio podcast.
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Happy Hanksgiving, everyone! Like a true podcast family, we invited Thomas from Almost Plausible back to talk about a Tom Hanks film that, basically, no one has seen! What? Does the plot of an American soldier who falls in love with a Jewish woman in Mandatory Palestine not appeal to you?? This is one of Hank's earlier roles coming fresh off of Splash! We learned many things, mostly why this movie has so much Spanish and that dating someone during a world war can be challenging, to say the least.
Check out Thomas' podcast Almost Plausible for hilarious movie scripts based on real-life objects!
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Finally, the long-awaited reboot of The Crow is here! Can the guy who played Pennywise live up to Brandon Lee's iconic role? The trailers didn't look promising, as they seemed to have swapped out fun goth for emo goth, but maybe that could work! Perhaps the new focus on The Crow's actual love interest, played by FKA twigs, would give a much-needed perspective shift in what is usually a gross and gory murder fest. Smear that tattoo ink below your eyes, put on your headphones, and find out if this movie actually deserved to become a box office bomb.
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Did you know two horror movies with the same premise and name were released two years apart? That's right, Speak No Evil, whose trailer has greeted movie theaters for most of 2024, was based on a Danish film of the same name. We had to know what changes were made between the two, so naturally, we watched two halves of the movie each! So, we know the whole story regardless of whether it was intended for a European or American audience. This is easily our longest podcast yet, but you get the plot of two movies for the price of one podcast! What a deal.
Honestly, we had a fantastic time recording this, and maybe we'll do it again in the future. I hope you enjoy it, listener!
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We're out of the Halloween months, but that doesn't mean the horror has to stop. This week, we combine horror with our other love, Pinocchio. That's right, we're watching Pinocho's Revenge! What if Pinocchio was evil and told people to kill? What's fascinating is we thought this would be one of the worst films we've seen in a while, but they're actually cooking some gas. It may not be Hank Hill approved, but there's more under the surface than other films that turn childhood characters into horrific monsters. Be sure to listen to our other Pinocchio episodes as well!
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In a mouthful of a movie title, Micheal Myers is back in Halloween H2O: 20 Years Later! Laurie now has a son, played by Josh Hartnett, and he just wants to live a normal life and hang out with his girlfriend at his private school. His mom, him, and a group of other students stay on campus when the rest of the school goes on a trip to Yosemite. Of course, this is the perfect time for a killer to strike! Why did he wait 20 years to return and exact his revenge? Tune in to find out!
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What's a better movie to add to the Spooktacular list than a movie about a haunted pool? Night Swim follows a family who just recently bought a house with a brand-new pool. The dad is suffering from MS, but with the miracle of swimming, his disease is basically gone! But then scary things start happening. Creepy dudes start appearing in the water, scaring the two children of the family. Will the children be able to alert their family to the dangers of swimming without a lifeguard?
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This Spooktacular season continues with another recommended, so bad it's a good movie, Cathy's Curse. Her dad's dead sister curses poor little Cathy, I think? This movie's motivations are also a mess plus goofy production issues. For example, an old man tries barging into a door, and the actor accidentally opens the door and closes it to try again. The cut is left in the film! This cheap exorcist knockoff does try and do its own thing, but it still has some of the strangest line readings in all cinema.
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The Spooktacular season continues with a mouthful of a title: Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II. This Canadian horror film is a sequel to Prom Night in name only. It follows the wonderfully evil Mary Lou as she possesses a teenager to acquire the title of prom queen. It's the most '80s slasher flick we've seen in a while. It checks all the corny boxes you'd want and has pretty shockingly solid visual effects!
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The Spooktacular season returns with The Watchers. It's time for M Night Shyamalan's daughter, Ishana, to direct a movie featuring Dakota Fanning! Would she craft her horror style, or will it fall into the same trappings as her father? The movie revolves around a forest in Ireland where no one can escape. Yet the watchers are always observing the people inside of a box every single night. Who are they, and what do they want? And most importantly, will there be a major twist?!
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We close out Streisand on the Beach with Honeybees returning for another episode, and this one is a bit of a pivot! The Guilt Trip stars Seth Rogan and Streisand as his overbearing mom. This is the last film she starred in, and it's a bit of an odd choice when it's a comedy. Seth Rogan is a chemist who invented a new cleaning product while his mom was there to support him along his long road trip. Maybe along the way, she'll eat a ton of food and potentially fall in love.
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No other movie we've watched for Streisand on the Beach was on the Criterion channel until Funny Girl! This is the big movie. Streisand's breakout moment. She stars as a woman who wants to be a singer and a comedian! But back in the '20s, women were only supposed to look a certain way and be pretty. She does it, though, with the help of her friend and potential lover, Omar Sharif. I don't feel like I'm selling you on this movie, but Barbera has unbelievable charisma in this movie, which is impossible to describe.
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We're continuing Streisand on the Beach with the hit musical flop Hello Dolly! This movie had a massive budget and barely made any money at all. But is it just because musicals were falling out of fashion? Or was it because maybe the movie itself isn't noteworthy? Most importantly, we want to find out if Barbera was the problem or the solution to this movie.
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We're starting a very special month to end summer Streisand on the Beach, where we have an entire month of Barbera Streisand movies, starting with the film she wrote, starred in, and directed, Yentl. NotTheHoneyBees joins us to help guide us through this month of chaos. As the lore keeper of all things Barbera, they put together a stellar list of films we can't wait to watch. Also, how did no one discover that Yentl was not a boy about 20 minutes into the movie?
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We bring Summer Screaming to a close with Lake Placid. It's a movie about a giant crocodile that made it to Maine. It's a miracle of nature! But it did kill some people, so maybe they should kill it. Or capture it to study it! Either way, this weird little cast of characters will all come together and deal with the aftermath of what Betty White has caused. Yes, that's right, Betty White and crocodiles. How could this movie not kick ass?
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Let's watch a classic summer horror movie from the 1970s: Piranha!! Just how did these Piranhas make it all the way to the States? This movie says, "Don't worry about it. We know what you want to see: bodies of water turning red!" We certainly didn't expect a cool little animated fish man created by Phil Tippett walking around a scientist's lab for no reason. This is a classic Other Half episode where Ethan calls the main protagonist by a side character's name for almost his entire half.
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The Meg is here to continue our train of summer-vibe horror movies! Jason Statham stars in this massive blockbuster hit from 2018. Some people are here just to watch big sharks eat things, and nothing is bigger than a Megladon. Is this blockbuster worth the hype? Or is it just more chum that Hollywood is releasing to the masses?
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