Avsnitt
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Today we're going to talk about suicide in construction in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. Dr. Vince Hafeli, a husband, father, and construction guy, tells his very personal story of becoming suicidal and choosing to come forward to talk about healing. Vince has been a leader in the construction industry for well over 30 years; his 2023 TEDx earned the #5 highest spot in the highest number of views... worldwide. Construction, where people risk their lives every day, loses thousands of workers every year to suicide - five times the number lost through accidents on the job.
And Vince wants that to stop. He wants anyone who believes that revealing emotional struggle is somehow weak or forbidden to realize there's no shame in talking. And he wants the harsh potential of not talking to sink in - that it could be you or someone you love staying silent, and losing the battle with a silent depression.
Vital Links:You can reach Dr. Hafeli here!
Here's the link for international suicide hotlines. Please reach out!
Advertiser’s Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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What's a good enough parent?
There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology researcher named Winnicott. When he was writing (decades ago...), mothers were blamed for everything - even autism was caused by a "refrigerator mom." Winnicott came along and let moms off the hook a little bit, saying that their caring – as long as it was good enough – as long as she was consistent enough, that most children would be okay. Fathers were left out of the whole pathology-causing picture, by the way.
Frankly, I had no idea how to measure “good enough” as a mom. Since it’s 2024, let’s include fathers in that equation. What makes a good enough parent? Is being good enough…. enough? We’ll talk about the answers to these questions today on SelfWork.
The listener email I’m going to share today brought tears of gratitude into my eyes. It was one of the kindest I’d ever received, although your kindness toward me is something you – as listeners - often show me.
Vital Links:Excellent article by Crista Balis on good enough parenting in Todays Parent Magazine.
Article by Brittany Clair on Lucie's List about good enough parenting.
Advertisers Link:Try one free week of the self-hypnosis app designed by hypnosis expert Dr. David Spiegel, a Stanford psychologist. Just click this link! You can try Reveri free for 7 days and use code MARGARET to lock in a 20% exclusive discount!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Today’s we’re going to focus on emotional detachment and distancing. I'll explain what it is and when it's healthy - and maybe even necessary - to do just that. I'm also going to bring forward a harsh criticism of a blogpost on unconditional love that I wrote years ago, after having the experience with parents and adult children needing to distance themselves from family, sometimes painfully, sometimes with relief.
What are some of the situations when emotional distancing or detachment is healthy?
When expressed boundaries or basic respect for those boundaries isn’t givenWhen someone won’t take any responsibility for their hurtful actions or their impact on you or othersWhen there’s been a pattern of ‘honeymoon’ with many “I’m sorry’s” and “that’ll never happen agains” – but it doesWhen you need a break from needinessWhen others that you love and need to protect are being affected by the chaosWhen you’re getting divorcedToday’s listener email is from a woman from Poland who describes that she’s been scared about the schizophrenia that runs in her family. And she also talks about detaching from an abandoning and abusive dad – but could only allow herself to do that this past year. I’m always so touched when someone takes the time to write – and I’d love to hear from you.
Vital Links:The podcast on unconditional love being used up
Advertiser's Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Today we’re focusing on the tools necessary to help you listen and "how to be there” for someone else.
We'll discuss what it’s like to listen to the stories of those who trust you to create a safe space for them to talk – and what it means to “be there” for someone. What it’s like to hear things that are very hard to hear. And what it’s like to carry on with your own life as you do so. I’m going to offer a list of eleven necessary tools that I’ve learned to use over the years. What I hope is that that list is helpful to you as you go about the business of loving others and being there emotionally for them.
I should say that this episode isn’t a substitute for any mental health treatment that you might choose or need.
And I have two listener contacts to share with you, both of which made me smile.
Vital Links:Nash Fung TEDx
Zazzle link for The SelfWork Mug!
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
How would you answer the question, "How's your mental health?'
If you watched the Olympics, you saw Simone Biles not only succeed wildly, but demonstrate to all the world how important maintaining her mental health has been to her. She talked openly about regular therapy sessions and the meditation practice that you could see her doing between competitions. Today we’re going to talk about the concept of mental health versus mental illness. It’s a crucial distinction – and one that I think a lot of people get mixed up. As Simone said of her departure from the Tokyo Olympics four years ago: “Nor do I have to explain why I put my health first. Physical health is mental health.”
The voicemail message for today is from someone whose mother wants to treat her still as if she were a child – and tries to maintain control over her now grown daughter. I’ll have some ideas… although I’m happy to report that she’s read some of my work and that has offered her an explanation of why she’s feeling the way she does.
Vital Links:The UK mind.org post on what creates mental health
Dr. Margaret's podcast episode on how to build self-esteem
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
How do you grieve a parent's death?
Even older adults have told me they feel "orphaned" after both of their parents die. So imagine what can happen when a parent dies when a child is young. There are all kinds of reasons for that child to feel as if their life will never be the same - that the loss makes it impossible to recover their innocence or contentment.
Today we'll hear from a listener who's describing this very dynamic. So much of what happens to a child depends on the adults around them. Yet, I offer ideas on what you can do about it as an adult yourself... as always. The death can't be changed, obviously. But how you live on, how you work through your grief, can be helped through these proactive steps.
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Perspective is a gift. But most of us gain our perspective from years of living and learning. Life often hands us challenges that build that perspective and that wisdom.
But not too many people have two catastrophic medical conditions to cope with – and certainly not two that occurred in the span of a decade.
Lindsey Roy had just that.
At age 31, Lindsey Roy was named vice-president at Hallmark Cards — one of the youngest in the company’s more-than-100-year history. Her life was abruptly transformed five years later when she was nearly killed in a boating accident. Left with an amputated left leg and severe limb injuries, and facing a long and difficult recovery ahead, she was determined not just to heal, but to emerge stronger.
A second blow...Eight years post-accident, fully adapted to her circumstances and genuinely thriving, Lindsey confronted the unexpected again: she was diagnosed with a rare and progressive disease that destroyed the blood vessels in her lungs, requiring a double-lung transplant. This profound setback challenged her to actively shift her viewpoint in order to discover the hidden advantages of her situation and new depths of resilience in herself.
Now a sought-after speaker, she’s imparting these hard-won lessons to help you adapt, persevere, and innovate in your own life.
Vital LinksLindsay's Roys 2017 TEDx
The Gift of Perspective - her first book recently published.
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
You have to acknowledge your depression in order to begin to talk about it. That may sound simple to do. But it's not quite so simple.
Why? Because nobody particularly wants to realize or admit that your way of "being" has changed, without you trying to change it. And in fact, you may have become so accustomed to being somewhat depressed, that it can lull you into thinking, "Well, this is just my new normal."
So today, my incredible team, Christine Mathias and John Crowley, have taken over the podcast for this week and are going to introduce you to a few clips where I talk about this very thing - acknowledging and talking about your depression.
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
How do you thrive with anxiety? Dr. David Rosemarin is our guest today who talks specifically about how to understand your anxiety as something that can help you thrive - when you work with it, and not against it.
David is the director of the Spirituality and Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital. And he's an associate professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He studies the relevance of spirituality to mental health. His own research has identified that faith is associated with improved treatment outcomes for depressed patients who see themselves as "spiritual beings."
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Today we're focusing on the lasting impact of trauma. Many of us are quite good - or efficient is perhaps a better word – at avoiding and denying and building a façade that’s rock solid around you… that no one would guess that trauma had every occurred in your life. Or how it could be affecting you now.
I have a story for you that will illustrate how easily it can be affecting you in ways that you don't recognize... until you do. And healing from trauma can occur, perhaps slowly, but it's more than possible. As always, we'll focus on "what you can do about it."
Our listener email is from a young woman who watched my TEDx and decided to write me about her lifelong battle with depression – how she feels she’s a horrible disappointment to her parents – and in her short email, has only shaming and self-destructive things to say about herself. But there’s one thing she never mentions that seems so obvious… I hope I can help her see her condition differently, so she can take action toward a better life.
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
What do you do when you hit a wall? And what IS that wall anyway? How often are you able to recognize that that’s what’s happening? Some of you might quickly say, “I can’t hit a wall. I’ve got too many responsibilities. I need to make money. I need to keep going no matter what.”
The three walls we'll focus on today are exhaustion, self-doubt, and saying, "I don't know" or "I need help." First, how to recognize that you’re coming close to hitting your wall (which will be different for everybody) way before a negative flow of energy or what’s called a negative spiral begins to happen. And second, what you can do about it and how you can use mindfulness to slow yourself down.
Our listener voicemail is from a guy that says, “Oh my god, everything is coming together… enmeshment, depression and perfectionism” but his sentence made me laugh so hard… as he laughed at himself!
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy.
I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after.
She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly hidden depression" when she was seeking some kind of understanding about the “why” of her husband’s suicidal death. I am honored to share her story with you and could think of absolutely no better person to feature on our 400th episode.
My respect for Penny is immense. She’s fighting severe kidney disease now on top of everything else, but has a passion to tell Dave's story. You’ll hear just how hard it was for her and her children as one minute, she was texting back and forth with her husband who seemed to be having a "moment" but saying he was ‘fine’, then killed himself 15 minutes after finishing a text to her.
"What kept you from revealing your pain?"What exactly kept Dave from revealing his pain? She’ll talk about what she’s pieced together, while at the same time, she’s still reeling from questions and emotions that she deals with every day. Her grieving family is left to try to understand, "What was so hard that you had to kill yourself?" But there’s no real answer. Just speculation. Wonder. And maybe a sense of one or two things that, with time, are becoming more clear.
I’m truly honored to introduce you to Penny Gray.
Click here for International Suicide Hotlines
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Photo by Sebastian Palomino.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy. I found her to be very real, approachable, and caring as she explains how ACT can help you see how commitment to your core values and staying in the present are so easy to lose when you're faced with struggle. And, as we like to focus on at SelfWork, what you can do about it.
Here's how she explains it: "When you are faced with life’s challenges, it’s easy to lose track of what’s important, get stuck in your thoughts and emotions, and become bogged down by day-to-day problems. Even if you’ve made a commitment to live according to your core values, the ‘real-world’ has a way of driving a wedge between you and a deeper, more meaningful life."
Vital Links:Dr. Hill's recently published daily journal!
Her podcast Wise Effort
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Cyclothymia, compartmentalization, and Taylor Swift don't seem to have much in common.
But they're sharing this episode of SelfWork! And both are in response to listeners' questions and comments!
Cyclothymia is another one of those more unusual depression diagnoses (like we covered last week with PMDD) and one that doesn’t get much attention as its more dramatic cousins, Bipolar I and II. Yet it shares some of the characteristics of those cyclic disorders (hence the name cyclothymia). Dave wrote about his questions about his own diagnosis of cyclothymia and how much relief and help it brought him.
For this week’s listener email, I’m going to talk to you about a song by Taylor Swift, “I can do it with a broken heart.” A listener posted it in my closed FB group saying, “this sounds like perfectly hidden depression.” But is it?
Vital Links:The link to the song by Taylor Swift: " I can do it with a broken heart"
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or or PMDD? We're going to focus today on what it is and what it's not, who suffers from it, how early can it emerge, why is it so misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or even ridiculed (which of course makes seeking treatment much harder). And, as always, what you can do about it.
This episode is in response to a listener's Instagram message to me about the "monster" that emerged every month from within her. So, I’m delighted to share with you what I know and have learned about PMDD through researching what the experts have to say. And I’ll offer a few really great support links in the show notes.
Our listener voicemail was hard for me to decipher – but the gist of it is that she’s describing that all she can think about is work and she feels very self-centered, with little empathy or support for others. Her pain is evident in her voice (in fact that’s probably one reason it was more difficult to understand).
Vital Links:Incredible help and support with the International Association of Premenstrual Disorders
YouTube video featuring sufferers of PMDD
YouTube video of expert and up-to-date information about PMDD
Recent studies on PMDD
Cosmopolitan article on PMDD
What's happening hormonally with PMS
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Marjorie Aunos' story is not one you'll forget. In one second, she went from being an able-bodied mom to a disabled one.
As a clinical psychologist, Marjorie developed the first program offering support for families headed by parents with intellectual disabilities in the province of Quebec, Canada. She fought for parents with intellectual disabilities to not be judged as “incapable” because of that disability. Yet in 2012, she sustained a spinal cord Injury in a car accident. Mother to a 16-month-old at the time, the accident and injury left her with paraplegia. Dealing with her own fear, her own drive, and all the feelings in between, Marjorie tells her story of learning to mother from a wheelchair – and what she learned about life in the course of doing so.
Marjorie Aunos, Ph.D. is 2021 Inspirational Speaker of the Year, an author, internationally renowned researcher, psychologist, adjunct professor at Brock University and UQTR, and a member at large of the Council of Canadians with Disabilities. She is the co-author of a book on Parenting Capacity Assessment and the author of Mom on Wheels: The Power of Purpose as a Parent with Paraplegia.
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Why don't you talk about your struggle with depression?
You may have lots of reasons, or excuses, or justifications. But I found out by reading the responses on (what I'm honored to say) is a viral TEDx talk, "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression", that so many of us need to know that this struggle is common - and doesn't have to be hidden.
Some of those reasons are: "It came on so gradually, I didn't notice," or, "I don't trust doctors," or "I"m afraid what will happen if I talk about a mental health struggle."
Today I answer the question of why you don't talk about your depression, and give you solid reasons why most of those justifications are just that... justifications. Not rational reasons. It' s not easy.... but there are so many benefits to seeking understanding and help.
Vital Links:HealthLine article on common hurdles to revealing depression
Andrew Solomon’s TED talk
Ten traits of perfectly hidden depression
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Do you feel guilty for not doing enough? Many people do... the problem is known as productivity guilt. But as always, there's something you can do about it.
Today on SelfWork Dr. Margaret offers nine helpful reminders that can guide you away from this guilt, so that you can stay on task and realize your goals.
Here they are:
One: Attaining goals isn't immediate. It takes time. Two: You can't avoid risk. Three: Your belief in yourself will wax and wane. Four: Life is a process not a product. Five: Ask for help if you're struggling. Six: Be aware of the impact of those around you. Seven: If you're in an overly controlling or abusive relationship, realize it. Eight: Have a growth mindset and know you can learn. Nine: Realize if your goal aligns with your values.
The listener email for today focuses on when trust is lost and what it takes to regain it.
Vital Links:Dr. Mark Traverse's article in Psychology Today on productivity guilt
Trauma Bond Episode on SelfWork
My TEDx : How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
Manifestation has been widely dismissed as self-involved, materialistic phooey. Now, James R. Doty, MD—a Stanford neurosurgeon, New York Times bestselling author, and Dalai Lama collaborator—reveals that manifestation is rooted in science.
Throughout his latest book, Mind Magic. Dr. Doty unveils his six-part plan for harnessing your mind’s power to change your brain structure and reclaim your agency. He grounds you in practices for neurological transformation by strategically targeting your attention, desires, obstacles, intention, passion, and expectations, so you can consciously create the life you want.
In addition to his medical expertise, Dr. Doty has the lived experience of using manifestation to revamp his reality. After he went from rags to riches back to rags, Dr. Doty overhauled his thinking to focus on being spiritually and morally centered. In turn, the riches stayed for the long haul.
Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands -
We'll talk today about the interweaving of depression and knowing you matter (or mattering). In my FB group, someone asked the question, "Do you ever wish you were more important to someone than you are? Like, I know I’m important to some people but there are others where I feel like they are more important to me than the other way around and I feel bad about it. Thats sooooo stupid right?
The main answer was, “No that’s not stupid.”
How have learned you matter or didn’t matter? How is mattering different from self-esteem? Or is it? And as always, what you can do about it – meaning what you can do about it if you feel you don’t matter.
Our Speakpipe message this week is from a mom who’s very worried about her son’s drinking and alleged abuse of his wife. There’s a grandchild involved as well… I’ll have a couple of ideas for her… and for you if you’re in this situation. It’s a really really tough one.
Vital Links:Scientific American article on mattering
SelfWork episode on self-esteem and self-acceptance
SelfWork episode on trauma bonding
Mayo Clinic article on interventions with people who struggle with alcohol
Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands - Visa fler
