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  • “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)

    We tend to tie gratitude to our situation. We feel grateful if life is good or we feel happy. We feel grateful when God answers our prayers the way we want.

    But God’s challenge to us is to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances! And even when we don’t feel thankful for our circumstances, we can be thankful for this: God loves us enough to heal us (like he healed the lepers), God loves us enough to provide for us, protect us, and guide us. And most importantly God loves us enough to send his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross and forgive us our sins.

    On our kids’ journey of faith, it’s important that they learn to love God by expressing their gratitude to him. This week, let’s pray that our kids always have a grateful heart, even when it’s hard. Let’s pray that they would recognize God’s blessing in their lives and actively praise him for them.

    Jesus, thank you for showering us with blessings and for changing our lives by going to the cross! May ____________ always remember that you are good. May they bow before you in reverence and awe knowing that you are worthy of praise and may they acknowledge the way you work in their life, always remembering to have a posture of gratitude towards you. Amen.

    Listen to the Gratitude playlist on Spotify

    Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • This episode was incredibly special to me. I have long admired Pastor Louie Giglio and the work he has done through Passion Conferences and Passion City Church. I invited Amelia McBrayer, one of my favorite college kids, to join me in chatting about how to find authentic faith in the college years. This episode is packed with wisdom on how to help encourage our kids (and all of us) to not just know ABOUT God, but to really KNOW God.

    Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered over one million collegiate-aged young people in events across the U.S. and around the world. It was so much fun to bring one of those students on the podcast with me today - to share what God has done through Passion and how her life has been impacted by Jesus.

    My favorite part is when he talks about the ups and downs of faith. That we need to keep praying and believing for the faith of our kids - but never to shove it on them. He encouraged us to spend more time doing what we want our kids to do. He reminds us that our time as parents in God’s word and praying will have a massive impact on the lives of our kids.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    How to stop shoving faith on our kidsPower of praying and believing for your kids’ faithHow to practically put a touch point with God - easy ways to connectTips on how to grow in a community as a college young adult

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Background

    02:02

    The Impact of Passion Conferences

    06:03

    Faith and College Life

    10:51

    Navigating Spiritual Challenges

    15:04

    The Power of Prayer and Authenticity

    20:11

    The Role of Devotionals

    23:05

    Maintaining Faith After Events

    30:08

    Prayer for the Next Generation

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    Grace & Glory - Louie’s new devotional

    LouieGiglio.com

    Passion Conferences

    Passion City Church

    Christian Parenting store

    Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “‘For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10 ESV)

    Everything in our world may change, but God’s love will not be moved. Our kids will be disappointed too many times to count over the course of their lives. Despite our best efforts, even we will let them down. But throughout it all, God will not change, will not leave them, and will never let them down. His love is steadfast.

    God loves us, and he loves our kids, with a fierce love. It’s hard to even wrap our heads around God’s love for us: the kind of love that led him to the action of sending his son to die on a cross to deliver us from our sins. While the unending, unshakeable, unbreakable, constant love of God may be hard to grasp, once we take hold of it, we won’t want to let it go.

    For our kids to truly live a journey of faith, they must recognize and accept the full, steadfast love of God. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will truly feel God’s love for them. The enemy will lie to them and make them doubt God’s love for them, so our prayers in this area are essential!

    Father God, you love us enough to send your one and only Son to die on the cross so we can be reconciled to you and live eternally with you. May ________________ fully know your steadfast love. I pray they feel your love wrapped around them today and every day, and I pray they can rest in that love. May they never doubt that no matter what is going on in their world, your love will not change. Amen.

    Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • I am so fired up about this episode with Chris and Jan Woodruff. I believe serving together is one of the very best things you can do as a family. As I look back over 18 years as a mom, I can truthfully say that the times we have served together has deeply impacted each of us. We always see the best version of our family.

    Many times, the service opportunities are only available for teens and older. When we discovered Lighthouse, we found a way for our kids to serve as young as 4 years old. In this episode, we talk about the benefit of serving and putting others before yourself. My goal for today’s episode is that it unlocks the power of serving together and motivates many to find unique ways to serve as a family.

    My favorite part of the episode is when we talk about the benefits of serving together. We have both seen unique benefits on each of our kids. They have practiced and prioritized serving others and we can now see how it has helped develop their character and passions and gifts.

    Challenge today: Go on a date with your spouse or grab some girlfriends and brainstorm: “What are the top values we want to instill in our home? In our family culture? And then how can we be intentional to live out those values?”

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Family Background

    03:02

    The Importance of Service and Generosity

    05:57

    Building a Family Culture of Service

    08:52

    Transitioning from Volunteers to Staff

    11:49

    The Impact of Serving on Children

    15:12

    Finding Individual Strengths in Service

    18:00

    Creating Community Through Service

    20:12

    The Joy of Serving Together

    22:25

    Empathy and Growth Through Service

    24:36

    Building Community and Communication Skills

    26:46

    The Impact of Small Acts of Kindness

    28:04

    Finding Your Family's Serving Style

    30:39

    Navigating Overwhelm in Family Service

    33:45

    Encouragement for Busy Families

    37:04

    Getting Involved with Lighthouse

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    Lighthouse Family Retreat

    Light ‘Em Up - 100 simple ideas and random acts of kindness

    In This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s book

    Under shorts for women - you’re welcome

    Christian Parenting store

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’” (John 8:31–32 ESV)

    To abide in Christ is to remain, continue, or stay in Christ. It means taking what we know about who God is, who we are in Christ, and what the Bible says, and using those things to grow in a permanent relationship with the Lord. It means trusting him for all things—trusting we are loved, trusting his word is true, and trusting in his promises.

    Truly knowing and following Jesus means continuing to grow our relationship with him. It’s a relationship worth investing in because it is the one relationship that matters: a relationship with Jesus gives us eternal life, peace in this lifetime, and allows us to bear good fruit and do good works.

    This week let's pray that our kids will know and abide with Christ their entire lives and commit to deepening their relationship with him every day.

    Jesus, I pray that ____________ would abide in you. That they would remain in your love and choose that every day of their lives. May they read scripture and learn about you in a way that lasts. Help them to keep your truth in their mind so that they may choose your ways over the world’s ways, and let it sink into their heart so that they become more and more like you. Amen.



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  • My friend, Heather MacFayden, is a mom of four boys and I am a mom of two girls. We have two very different (but equally enjoyable) parenting experiences. We are both podcasters, but we are also real life friends. We have had many conversations over the last 10 years about the unique differences between raising boys and girls.

    We decided to take our offline conversations online for you! Part 1 is over at her podcast, Don’t Mom Alone - Boys vs Girls (Part 1): The Early Years. And today, you will hear Part 2 which is all about the dating years. We even get into the anxiety that comes with dances like homecoming and prom.

    I learned several things from Heather about how boys are feeling during these dating years. After our chat, I immediately went and talked to the girls about how the guys may feel used at times. They are more than a prop in a photo. I was encouraged to hear that her boys want deep conversations and interesting girls.

    My goal for this conversation was to grow our understanding and empathy of the opposite gender - especially if you only have 1 gender of children in your home. Let us know what you think! What do you wish moms of girls knew about boys? What do you wish moms of boys knew about girls? Send me a DM!

    In this episode, we discuss:

    -Dating challenges for teens today

    -Ideas on how to help boys and girls interact when curiosity begins

    -How social media and phones are impacting the dating process

    -Seeing behind the homecoming drama - what is going on with each gender

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    (02:00) Empathy in Parenting: Boys vs. Girls

    (04:04) The Challenges of Modern Dating

    (10:05) Navigating Social Events and Relationships

    (18:08) The Impact of Social Media on Dating Dynamics

    (20:21) The Pressure of Appearances in Relationships

    (21:06) Navigating Modesty and Self-Confidence

    (22:38) The Emotional Impact of Rejection

    (23:52) Social Media's Role in Self-Perception

    (24:40) Understanding Boys' Perspectives on Relationships

    (25:45) The Importance of Communication and Planning

    (27:39) The Dynamics of Dating and Social Expectations

    (29:52) Boys' Leadership in Social Situations

    (32:11) The Cost of Social Events and Expectations

    (33:34) Teaching Boys About Respect and Kindness

    (35:27) Building Confidence in Girls

    (37:53) Encouraging Individuality in a Conformist Culture

    (39:55) A Prayer for Our Children

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

    Resources from today’s show:

    HeatherMacFadyen.com

    Don’t Mom Alone Podcast

    The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)

    Godly friends make us better, not out of shame or peer pressure, but out of a desire to see us faithful to God and pursuing his will for our lives. Godly friends know that God wants more for us than what the world has to offer, and so they will push us in that direction when we start to veer from the path.

    Who our kids hang out with is important, iron sharpens iron and bad company corrupts character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Godly friends will help our kids grow in their faith and keep them accountable. Ungodly friends will bring them further and further from God’s truth.

    So this week, let’s pray that our kids will be surrounded by true, godly friends and be a light to the friends around them who don’t know Jesus.

    Jesus, I pray that ______________ surrounds

    themselves with friends who know and love you. I pray they would encourage each other in faith, hold each other accountable, and that their friendships would draw them closer to you. Where there is conflict, may they be quick to show forgiveness, just as you forgave us. May _____________ be a light to those around them, always showing what a godly friend is. Amen.

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules.

    This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations.

    My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it.

    When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off.

    In this episode, we chat about:

    Cultural shifts in parenting stylesHow to build trust and honesty in parenting How to redirect behavior and manage chaosIdeas for discipline and consequences

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    Part 1

    (03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application

    (05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles

    (09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development

    (11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting

    (15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies

    (17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos

    Part 2

    (2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting

    (6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution

    (9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive?

    (12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children

    (16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5

    (22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2

    (23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3

    (27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Resources from today’s show:

    The Flourishing Family - new book

    Identity Simplified

    The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules.

    This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations.

    My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it.

    When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off.

    In this episode, we chat about:

    Cultural shifts in parenting stylesHow to build trust and honesty in parenting How to redirect behavior and manage chaosIdeas for discipline and consequences

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    Part 1

    (03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application

    (05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles

    (09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development

    (11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting

    (15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies

    (17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos

    Part 2

    (2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting

    (6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution

    (9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive?

    (12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children

    (16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5

    (22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2

    (23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3

    (27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Resources from today’s show:

    The Flourishing Family - new book

    Identity Simplified

    The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:23–25 ESV)

    Getting our kids to church can be a real struggle. They may fight you about it at any age (toddler to teen), it’s early in the morning and everyone wants to sleep in, and it can be hard to find a church community that meets the needs of everyone in your family. You may have been hurt by the church and find it difficult to trust a faith community again. If you identify with any of that, you are not alone in these struggles!

    But we are not meant to do life alone and church is where we can find our best community. Attending church is also one of the ways we can get to know and experience God more.

    The discipleship that happens in church is about relationship. There is a reason people often refer to their congregation as their “church family.” It is a place of encouragement where brothers and sisters in Christ can build each other up in love and spur each other on in faith.

    So this week, let’s pray that our kids know and understand the value of church. Let’s pray that they will love the church and have a desire to serve with God’s family. Let’s ask God to help them love going to church and to feel loved, known, and safe there.

    God, thank you for the gift of church. I pray that _____________ would love going to church, that it would not be something we convince them to do, but something they participate in out of love for you and your family. May they use their gifts to expand your kingdom and serve your church. Amen.

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • I couldn’t wait to have a chat with the founder, producer and director of The Chosen, Dallas Jenkins. Although that’s super cool - I also wanted it to be practical for us as parents. He was fantastic!

    My kids are very visual learners and I am sure many of your children are as well, so I wanted to hear his thoughts on creative storytelling. Some kids cannot read the Bible and get what they need right away. They don’t understand the context around the stories. Dallas is a master at providing context to scriptural truth through his TV series and films.

    This conversation challenged me to keep thinking creatively about how we infuse virtues, values and faith in the lives of my kids. It encouraged me to keep living faith more than I lecture about it. We know that much of life’s most valuable lessons are “caught not taught.” It reminded me to relax if my kids are more into movies, books, music vs reading.

    My favorite part is the amazing God story behind his newest movie for kids, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It is truly extraordinary how it came about. I can't wait to take my kids to see it (with all of their friends) and kick off the season that is all about the birth of our Savior.

    In this episode, we chat about:

    How The Chosen series changed my neighbor’s lifeHow to use creative storytelling in your parenting How Dallas’ latest movie came about and how it can benefit your family

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    (00:00) The Power of Friendship and Faith

    (02:53) Transformative Impact of 'The Chosen'

    (06:05) Family Dynamics and Sacrifices

    (09:01) Creative Storytelling in Parenting

    (12:00) The New Movie: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

    (14:55) Behind the Scenes of the Movie Production

    (17:51) The Journey of Faith and Persistence

    (21:00) Encouragement for Families and Communities

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    The Chosen

    The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

    Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

    Carpool Conversations

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9–11)

    Biblical discernment is understanding something through the power of the Holy Spirit. It means being able to see what is good vs. evil, false teaching vs. truth, wise vs. unwise. Being discerning does not mean being judgemental, though it is easy to fall into that. Being discerning means being able to distinguish the voice and will of God from the noise of the world.

    It is so easy to accept what we see on social media, the news, or the internet as truth. But so often, it is far from the truth. Even our favorite Christian writers, podcasters, or pastors could share false teachings. Our kids are growing up in a world that is completely different from the world we grew up in. The access to information alone is overwhelming, which is why we need to be praying that our kids know how to discern God’s truth in the world around them.

    Our kids will face peer pressure to do things that they know aren’t right, they will be taught to follow their emotions and desires over the Lord, and they will be told that there are ways that are better than God’s. The ability to recognize those things as harmful and untrue is a gift that we all desire for our kids.

    For our kids to truly live in God’s will, they need to have a discerning spirit, so let’s pray for their ability to discern truth this week.

    Father God, I pray that ____________ will learn to test what they read, hear, and see with scripture. Help them to seek your truth above all else. I pray that your word will guide their paths. May they base their life on your truth instead of the lies of the enemy and of this world. Will you daily renew their minds and make their hearts wholeheartedly devoted to you?



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  • In this week’s episode, I have the honor of chatting with Reese - a college-aged friend that I adore. She bravely shares her testimony - one that involves abuse by a coach, a “not guilty” jury decision and God’s faithfulness through it all. Reese wanted to come on and share her story so that parents see that an authentic faith is often born from life’s toughest struggles.

    When I asked Reese’s mom about this journey, this was her text to me.

    “My daughter’s journey reminds us that God can use even our worst fears and redeem them. We can’t protect our kids from their testimony. God always takes what the enemy intends for evil for good. Maybe even their very purpose. Trusting him with their growth and process and pain. We were the parents with such tight controls. No sleepovers. No phones until HS. No ipads. Locked down YouTube. My control can’t protect her from everything.”

    My favorite part is when she shares a story of how God spoke directly to her during some of the hardest parts of her story. It gave me chills and also great comfort. It reminded me that no matter what our kids face - they will never be alone. I can either get swallowed up with fear and the “what if’s” of parenting or I can make the choice to lean into faith and trust God has them. He has them in the best of times and the worst.

    I am so excited for you to hear from an 18-year-old with a solid and authentic faith that wasn’t born out of a perfect life. Her faith is hers, it’s tested and it’s remarkable.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    Reese’s story of abuse Authentic faith birthed through hardest timesHow she experienced God so personally Rees’s encouragement for parents

    Enjoy,

    Courtney

    00:00

    Introduction and Background

    02:01

    Impacting Children's Faith

    04:18

    Overcoming Abuse and Finding Identity in Christ

    08:47

    Timeline and Legal Proceedings

    17:06

    Experiencing God through Visions and Dreams

    19:28

    The Table of the Lord

    27:50

    Encouragement for Parents

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    Reese’s ministry - Abundant Grace

    God Made All Of Me - recommended book for littles

    Birds and Bees

    Birds and Bees Episode

    Untold - her favorite ministry in Africa

    Ella’s purple dress from Amazon

    Identity Simplified

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “But Jesus told him, 'No! The Scriptures say, "People do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God"’” (Matthew 4:4 NLT)

    Reading the Bible and memorizing scripture matters because it is one way we can fight the battles in our own lives—both big and small. Scripture can help our kids (and us!) feel confident in our God-given identity, face a life crisis, and everything in between. Knowing God’s word also develops our faith and brings us closer to God. Every bit of scripture is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12), God-breathed, and teaches us to live righteously (2 Timothy 3:16).

    The more we know God’s word and keep it in our hearts, the more we understand God’s heart and his ways, aligning our wills to his. The word of God protects us from the desire to do it all by ourselves and replaces that desire with the desire to let God direct our paths. God loves us too much to leave us to our own devices. He reveals truth to us through his word so that the desires of our hearts become more like his!

    So this week, let’s pray that our kids will know the word of God and lean on it to guide them in every area of their lives.

    Father God, I pray that ____________ grows to learn your word, love your word, and see it as holy and infallible. May they love the Bible and read it daily with the goal of knowing your heart more and more. May they rely on your word to direct their paths. Remind them to hide your word in their hearts so they can use it to fight any battle they face—now and in the future. Amen.



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  • It’s an absolute delight to have my dear friend Lysa TerKeurst on the podcast today. Lysa has been sharing her deepest struggles through writing books, devotionals and bible studies for decades. She has a beautiful way combining biblical truth and heartfelt empathy that makes us all feel less alone.

    In today’s episode, we discuss TRUST and DISTRUST. She shares that when you starve a relationship from trust - it’s like not giving a human air to breathe. I can imagine that many of you are working through some trust issues - we all are. Whether it’s a broken friendship or marriage or a strained relationship with a family member or dear friend. It can be really hard to manage the healing and repairing process for yourself and even more difficult when it involves your children.

    One of my favorite parts is when she talks about the importance of healing in a community. She shares how natural it can be to isolate when you’re hurt - but trust rebuilds in community. I am praying this episode touches a tender topic with such encouragement and practical help.

    In this episode we discuss:

    Why trust is crucial to all human relationshipsHow to manage broken hearts and relationships while raising kidsHow to move towards healing with resilience

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    00:00

    Practical Wisdom and Biblical Truth: A Conversation on Trust and Distrust

    03:16

    The Impact of Broken Trust: Emotional Abuse and Betrayal Trauma

    15:24

    Triggers and Discernment: Patterns of Behavior and Self-Exploration

    32:55

    Resilience and Healing: Overcoming Broken Trust

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    LysaTerKeurst.com

    I Want To Trust You, But I Can’t - Lysa’s newest book

    Dr Amen and Lysa - her brain scan

    EMDR Therapy

    WOW - root cover up

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (1 John 5:14)

    One amazing way our kids can know more about God is through prayer. The practice of prayer involves talking to God and listening to God. We tend to be better at the talking part because, with the busyness of our lives, it can be a real challenge to slow ourselves down and listen to God! But we can’t hear a whisper when we’re running. As parents, our role is to help guide our kids into a mature faith where they can quiet themselves enough to hear God’s voice.

    Prayer should not be an afterthought in our minds. Going to God and conversing with him should be our first thought when we start a new day, face a dilemma, or experience something great! We know prayer changes things. Prayer transforms hearts, renews minds, and gives us peace that passes all understanding. We need to remember that promise because God, who wants to talk with us, will answer every prayer. It might just look different than we expect – sometimes “no” is an answer and other times we won’t understand how he answered a prayer until much later, or even heaven.

    So this week let’s pray that our kids stand in confidence, knowing that God always hears them and wants to talk with them.

    Lord, may ______________ make prayer a priority in their schedule. When something happens, may their first instinct be to talk to you about it, not anybody else. I pray they learn to hear your voice, submit to your will, and deepen their relationship with you through prayer. Give them an eternal perspective, knowing that all their prayers may not be answered in the way they envision, but they will be answered in your perfect way. May they grow to be a mighty prayer warrior, confident in the transforming power of prayer. Amen.



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  • Do you ever feel far from God? This week, we get to dive into a crucial conversation with Jeannie Cunnion. She helps us unpack this very common feeling amongst believers. She has so much encouragement around why God desires us to get closer and closer. And then, she also gives us practical ways we can grow closer to God.

    There isn’t a finish line for growing closer to God. We are all on our own journey with God. It’s personal and it takes time and it’s never-ending. However, we so often compare ourselves to other Christians in our lives. We believe others have arrived spiritually and we are behind. I am praying this chat gives you assurance and comfort in your own journey - no matter where you are in this season.

    My favorite part is when we talk about “effort” vs “earn.” Sometimes, we confuse our effort to grow with the desire to earn something. The truth is that we can take steps to get to know God more without getting stuck in the lie that we must earn God’s love. Let this conversation with Jeannie give you peace and a new desire to grow closer to God through His presence.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    What to do when you feel far from GodHow do we learn to put effort into our faith - without feeling we must earn itHow to be on your own faith journey - while parenting kids on their own journeyWhy do we do what we don’t want to do

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    JeannieCunnion.com

    Closer To God - Jeannie’s new devotional

    Mom Set Free

    Christy Nockels

    Carpool Conversations

    White Bird

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)

    The world will tell our kids many things about who they are, and some of those things will be true and encouraging. Other messages from the world will be lies, and difficult to hear. No matter who is mean to our kids, what school they go to, or what position they play on the field, our kids belong to God. Your child is God’s child, holy and dearly loved. He or she is called upon, adopted, redeemed, and sanctified. Your child was created with intention for a purpose and God calls them precious.

    So let’s pray that our kids will always stand firm in their identity in Christ so that their confidence will not shake when the world feels unsteady. Let’s ask God to help them base their identity and security in him alone.

    Father God, thank you for calling __________ your child. Help them to remember that you love them and call them by name, that you have adopted them into your family, and lavish your love upon them. May they know deep in their hearts that their identity does not rest in what the world says about them, but in what you say. You say they are yours! Amen.

    Interested in reading more? Here are 90 Biblical truths about your identity in Christ.



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  • I hope you are finding a theme on this podcast. I am always trying to bring you conversations about real-life problems that us moms face on a daily basis. Also, I want to always point us back to Jesus as well as practical ideas to move forward.

    Today’s episode is one of those issues we face on a regular basis: Alyssa Bethke is passionate about this idea of “being all and doing all.” She really digs into why women struggle with this. My intentions aren’t always bad as a “doer” - they just aren’t sustainable. I would love to fix it all, handle it all and make sure everyone in my life is happy. I really, really struggled with this in my 20s and 30s. However, I am so excited that I have grown in this area and found ways to trust what he’s calling me to do - and only those things.

    I love how Alyssa asks herself this question, “Lord, what is mine to do?” Don’t miss this part at the end when she gives us how she practically handles the pressure of many demands on us. As moms, this pressure to help, fix and support our kids is very real. It is very hard to face that reality - that there is never enough time or energy to do and be all. And that is where our faith comes in. How can we really lean into God so that we know what is ours to take and then we have peace surrendering the rest?

    In this episode, we discuss:

    The struggle of doing it all as a momThe gift of boundaries and how to say noFinding rest in God’s grace and what he calls us to do

    Enjoy!

    Courtney

    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Background

    01:18

    The Struggle of Trying to Do It All

    08:11

    Setting Boundaries and Saying No

    11:08

    Seeking God's Guidance in Each Season

    14:58

    The Desire for Control and Predictability

    16:16

    Finding Rest in God's Grace

    16:48

    The Struggle of Control and the Call to Surrender

    19:05

    Honesty and Unmet Expectations in Our Relationship with God

    20:33

    Parenting: Trusting God and Surrendering Control

    25:55

    Trusting in God's Goodness and Seeking His Guidance

    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess

    Courtney DeFeo

    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

    Resources from today’s show:

    Alyssa Bethke Instagram

    Jeffandalyssa.com

    When Doing It All, Is Undoing You - new book

    Gamechanger Amazon List

    Amazon List - more ideas

    White Bird Movie

    Carpool Conversations

    Christian Parenting store

    Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org



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  • “I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you” (John 14:25–26 NLT)

    When we declare Jesus to be our Savior and commit to following him, the Holy Spirit enters us and changes our lives forever! With the Holy Spirit’s help and guidance, we can begin to live more like Jesus and display his character, learn the truth about God, receive and grow in our spiritual gifts, and have the power and courage to share our faith. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us when we believe. The Holy Spirit helps us in every aspect of our faith journey.

    When it comes to our kids, let’s pray that they would position their hearts to know the Holy Spirit and hear his voice, respond to his love, and let him guide their lives.

    Lord, may ______________ grow to love you more and more every day. May they feel the presence of your Holy Spirit alive in them. Make their hearts soft so they can be more responsive to you, and when the world tries to pull them away from you and your ways, may they rely on the Holy Spirit to direct their paths. Amen.



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