Avsnitt
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Talking points: relationships, mindset, victimhood, entitlement
This is going to…bother some of you, but it needs to be said. Straight out the gates, this isn’t an every single man or every single woman issue, but these are what’s contributing to the insanity that is modern dating. Hear me out.
(00:00:00) - Intro and how this is gonna upset some people
(00:02:21) - The man that some women expect to date doesn’t exist, why that’s a thing,
(00:07:55) - The idea that what women bring to a relationship is automatically more valuable isn’t always true
(00:10:11) - On entitlement and how both sides are contributing
(00:13:11 ) - Men, you’ve bought into the BS notion that something is automatically wrong with women
(00:15:40) - Many men are fundamentally afraid of women and don’t want to admit it
(00:18:34) - Many men have become fragile
(00:21:05) - No more victim puking and women blaming
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: parenting, attachment, mindset, psychology, neurology
The internet behaved badly in this episode, but Eli is so knowledgeable and thorough I had to put this up! The Attachment Nerd herself brought a TON of info and practical tips for parents this week. Strongly encourage you to listen to this with other parents. I certainly learned a lot. Her new book comes out Sept. 3rd; go pick it up!
(00:00:00) - What is reflective functioning, and when does that start developing?
(00:06:58) - How does a parent support a child who’s still developing that reflective functioning?
(00:12:58) - The problem with treating kids as little adults, and why we do it
(00:20:44) - How to tell if you’re raising a securely attached kid; 4 simple tips
(00:32:05) - The importance of presence and support over adult logic, and on staying grounded
(00:40:18) - How to foster discipline AND self-esteem in your kids
Eli Harood, known as Attachment Nerd on social media, is a licensed therapist, bestselling author, and highly sought-after educator who has more than 17 years of experience helping people process relational traumas and develop secure connections with their children. Her life’s mission is to help make the world a better place one relationship at a time. In addition to her clinical work, Harwood also offers online courses and in-person retreats to help individuals better understand their attachment styles and build stronger bonds. She has also served as a faculty member at The Denver Family Institute and is the author of “Securely Attached.” Eli has three children, one husband, two cats, and an extraordinary number of plants.
Connect with Eli
-Website: https://attachmentnerd.com
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
-Book: Raising Securely Attached Kids: https://attachmentnerd.com/books/raising-securely-attached-kids
-TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd
***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find a therapist who can help empower you through the tough times and cultivate your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Talking points: suicide, culture, masculinity
This isn’t an easy episode, but it’s important. If you’re someone who works with men, whatever kind of work that is, please share.
(00:00:00) - A part of my story I rarely share
(00:04:30) - What I’ve learned
(00:07:35) - What’s contributing to this?
(00:10:36) - If you’re somehow involved with men, here’s what to do. If you’re in this situation, here’s what I’ll tell you
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: attachment, avoidance, divorce
My anonymous guest this week has been solving the puzzle of his anxious attachment style for a while now. He’s made great progress, but there’s more to be done. On top of this, while it’s impacted all of his romantic relationships with intense conflict, distance, and damage, his wife is an avoidant. It’s a complicated situation, but there IS a way forward.
(00:00:00) - What brought our guest in today
(00:05:58) - Why my guest is holding onto something they’ve identified as unhealthy
(00:12:11) - What my guest is hoping to get out of the session, and a hard truth
(00:16:53) - Taking on responsibility and shame when things aren’t working in the world
(00:21:37) - When a young child can’t get the attention it needs, it’ll be encoded as panic to the child
(00:31:33) - The declaration
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: attachment, avoidance, mindset, psychology
If you, your partner, or someone you’re friends with has an avoidant attachment style, this one’s specifically for you!
These are the steps I took and the ones I recommend to clients who are just starting out and want to get their avoidance under control. They’re simple, but not easy. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - The two things changing from avoidant to secure depends on, and why
(00:05:58) - Build self-awareness around these two crucial things
(00:08:49) - Initiate reconnection when disconnection has happened
(00:12:30) - Express what you’re experiencing
(00:14:02) - Expose your needs—with two caveats
(00:16:12) - Move from self-protection to relational reliance
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: collapse, culture, masculinity, psychology, Jung
There are very few people out there I consider genuine, authentic elders. Francis Weller is one of them. With a perfect marriage of gentle compassion and firm sincerity, Francis is the man you want to share a campfire with when times are tough. He lays out what we’re facing collectively from the perspective of someone deeply in tune with the natural world, and how we need to respond.
(00:00:00) - Why we’re in “the long dark”, and what needs to dissolve collectively
(00:09:04) - Navigating the things that are negatively affecting the psyche, and “death cafes”
(00:14:40) - What Francis has been noticing and gathering from our current times
(00:21:03) - The balance between being aware of what’s going on and catastrophizing
(00:27:31) - Is talking about collapse and degrowth inherently anti-American?
(00:34:49) - How does someone stay present and grounded in the face of a collapse, and how people normally navigate
(00:44:09) - How do you find satisfaction without relentless pursuit? How do you get okay with “adequate”?
(00:50:30) - Francis on the nuance and variance of masculinity and masculine culture
(00:56:31) - How to be the medicine, and how to develop a deeper relationship with nature
Francis Weller, MFT, is a psychotherapist, writer, and soul activist. He is a master of synthesizing diverse streams of thought from psychology, anthropology, mythology, alchemy, indigenous cultures, and poetic traditions. Author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow, The Threshold Between Loss and Revelation, (with Rashani Réa), and In the Absence of the Ordinary, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. He founded and directs WisdomBridge, an organization that offers educational programs that seek to integrate the wisdom from indigenous cultures with the insights and knowledge gathered from Western poetic, psychological, and spiritual traditions.
Francis received a B.A. from the University of Wisconsin Green Bay and two Master’s Degrees from John F. Kennedy University in Clinical Psychology and Transpersonal Psychology. His writings have appeared in anthologies and journals exploring the confluence between psyche, nature, and culture. He is currently completing his third book, A Trail on the Ground: The Geography of Soul.
He has created three CD sets, two focusing on healing shame and one on “Restoring the Soul of the World.” His latest offerings are a 10-session audio series on "Living a Soulful Life and Why It Matters." and "The Alchemy of Initiation: Soul Work and the Art of Ripening."
Connect with Francis:
-Website: https://www.francisweller.net/
-Books: https://www.francisweller.net/books.html
-Programs: https://www.francisweller.net/programs--workshops.html
***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: aging, mindset, personal growth
I bottomed out in my 20s and nearly lost everything. When I finally emerged from the rubble, I had NO idea where to even begin. The following are things I learned the hard way, so if you’re in a similar spot, strongly encourage you to listen in. Here’s how you rebuild.
(00:00:00) - Intro and number 1: make competency your aim
(00:03:33) - Number 2: get in shape
(00:05:24) - Number 3: learn how to save and invest, and get yourself out of debt
(00:07:45) - Number 4: figure out if you’re a number one, number two, or a worker bee
(00:10:23) - Number 5: take women off the pedestal
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: relationships, sex, social media, non-monogamy
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I think the current dating scene is, in a word, messy. So I’m grateful to have sat with Todd Baratz on why that’s the case. I love Todd’s practical, honest yet understanding perspective on the issues, because it allows for all the complexity and nuance relationships can bring. To sum it up: communicate, communicate, communicate.
(00:00:00) - Todd on why modern relationships seem like a mess, new social values, and social media’s effect
(00:13:54) - What causes us to sometimes lose a deep sense of self in relationships, and how our original attachment contributes
(00:18:30) - How all this influences sexual expression, and bridging the gap between different preferences
(00:25:47) - What you need to open a dialogue about what you want sexually, and where couples go wrong
(00:32:41) - “Too good to leave, too bad to stay”, and are relationships starving for lack of community?
(00:37:02) - Do straight and queer couples deal with similar issues? And navigating non-monogamy
(00:44:26) - Dealing with relationship power struggles
(00:47:28) - When your partner asks for something, just do it
Todd Baratz is a renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist whose innovative approach to mental health and relationships has established him as a leading figure in his field. In addition to his clinical practice, Baratz is a prolific writer and speaker. His insights are regularly featured in various media outlets, where he discusses topics ranging from romantic relationships to individual mental wellness. He lives in New York City and Los Angeles. Learn more on Instagram under his handle YourDiagnonsense.
Connect with Todd
-Website: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense
-Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4c80FbeT9YmbyE6B6NMTgN
-Book: How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/book/
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: accountability, relationships
Before anything else, not all women struggle with this. But some who do (and the men who love them) have asked me to speak on this. You’ve probably seen the memes or heard a story or two, but it’s always better to actually do some thinking. Here are my thoughts on why some women admit to struggling with accountability—and how to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way.
(00:00:00) - Intro and reason 1: different tools for social status
(00:05:41) - Reason 2: women are disincentivized by the “patriarchy virus”
(00:07:52) - Women are socialized to be more dependent on men
(00:10:05) - How to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way, and what NOT to do
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: exercise, stress, science, testosterone, mindset
I think this episode takes the cake for highest amount of information. Dr. Layne Norton is. on. fire. Seriously, dig into this if you’re looking for what REALLY works (hint: it’s probably not going to be the fun option). We cover everything on managing stress, testosterone, and the right mindset to bring it all home.
(00:00:00) - What got Layne started, and how wildly effective exercise can be
(00:07:59) - Layne on managing stress
(00:14:42) - On finding and prioritizing real friendships, and your responsibility in managing stress
(00:24:20) - What happens when you’re stressed, and why stress isn’t automatically bad
(00:35:22) - Layne’s own experience of how important it is to process bad experiences, and the effect of stress on testosterone
(00:43:37) - Taking responsibility, why it’s worth trusting the science, and owning what you CAN control
(00:55:53) - Layne on TRT and what will actually boost testosterone
(01:03:44) - Tactical practical things to boost your workouts
(01:10:44) - What to do if you’re already pretty lean
Dr. Layne Norton hold a Ph.D. in Nutritional Sciences and a BS in Biochemistry. Both with honors. He provides science-backed, ethical coaching, and is the founder of BioLayne and co-founder of Carbon Diet Coach, Outwork Nutrition, and Physique Coaching Academy. He fuses evidence-based nutrition and training with what will practically work for you individually.
He also hosts the Biolayne Podcast, interviewing experts and influencers on topics related to fitness and nutrition. As a competitive bodybuilder, Layne has won multiple titles in natural bodybuilding and powerlifting, including the IPF 93 kg world record for squat.
Connect with Layne
-Website: https://biolayne.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biolayne/
-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqMBA83S0TnfTlTeE5j1mgQ
-Carbon Diet Coach: https://www.joincarbon.com/
-Physique Coaching Academy: https://cleanhealth.edu.au/product/online-courses/physique-coaching-academy-certification/
-Outwork Nutrition: https://outworknutrition.com/
***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Say no to subscriptions—and yes to a razor that’ll last you a lifetime. Visit HENSONSHAVING.com/MANTALKS to pick the razor for you and use code MANTALKS. You’ll get two years worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: grief, fatherhood, anger, masculinity
The void left by a father who’s gone can feel impossibly difficult to handle for many men. I’ve had a lot of them in my practice, and the impacts on their life can be pretty severe. If you or someone you know grew up without a father, strongly encourage you to listen to this one. These are the lessons you might have missed.
(00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: grieve the absence.
(00:05:33) - Understand the true role of a father, and take it upon yourself
(00:08:28) - Every son has the right to be angry with their father
(00:12:37) - A woman can never hold the key to your masculinity
(00:14:24) - The last thing: it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: attachment, relationships, intimacy
You’ve heard about attachment. Maybe you’ve discovered you or your partner (or both!) have a specific kind. Ok, cool. But what do you DO with that info? How do you move forward?
That’s exactly what Sarah Baldwin and I sat down to discuss. From the deep origins of our survival strategies, to their impact on intimacy, and how to work WITH it all and get some self-security going. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - What is a disconfirming experience?
(00:07:54) - How do our early experiences with attachment inform the partners we choose later?
(00:17:15) - Remember this is all subconscious, very human, and can be changed with work
(00:27:47) - What happens in someone’s body when they have a more anxious or avoidant attachment style
(00:35:38) - Insights on what to do if you’re avoidant or anxious
(00:43:33) - What CAN a securely attached relationship look like?
(00:50:57) - How does all of this impact intimacy?
Sarah Baldwin is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and trauma-trained Life Coach who specializes in helping individuals overcome emotional barriers and trauma. With training in somatic healing, polyvagal theory, and inner child work, she guides clients through a transformative process to achieve a more fulfilling life. Through multiple modalities, Sarah offers a comprehensive coaching approach that to fully support her clients’ growth and well-being, no matter where they’re at in life.
Connect with Sarah
-Website: https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/
-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: mindset, death, change
Alright, you’re past 30. Assuming you’re past the usual advice you get from all the corners of the internet, what’s next?
Because all the “you need to make more money, you need to get to the gym, you need to wake up earlier” stuff is fine—don’t get me wrong—but it's also entry-level work. Listen in for the harder stuff.
(00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: regret
(00:03:10) - Don’t make your future self suffer because of who you’re being now
(00:06:06) - Death is right around the corner
(00:10:52) - Your unwillingness to find or create your definition of freedom is a kind of death, too
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: grief, loss, relationships, masculinity, anger
I met David at a psychotherapy symposium a while back, and it wasn’t long before we were sharing some of the things we’ve grieved. He just has that calm yet strong presence. He’s also, of course, an absolute expert therapist. We dig into everything loss in this episode; how the 5 stages actually work, what death does both for and to us, and much, much more. This is absolutely an episode to share with someone you feel could use it.
(00:00:00) - Intro, do men and women grieve differently, and the toll of not grieving
(00:06:34) - Why unprocessed grief manifests as anger, anxiety, and more
(00:11:10) - What brought David into grief work, the five stages, and where people get stuck
(00:24:43) - On the loss of David’s son
(00:32:12) - Does grief reshape identity, and the different ways of moving through it
(00:35:50) - How to move through grief, and discerning when to “live again”
(00:42:51) - David’s take on death denial, living currently, and how death challenges our assumptions
(00:50:43) - The sixth stage of grief, and the nuances of meaning after loss
David Kessler is one of the world’s foremost experts on grief and loss. His experience with thousands of people on the edge of life and death has taught him the secrets to living a happy and fulfilled life, even after life’s tragedies. He is the author of six books, including the new bestselling book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. He co-authored two books with Elisabeth Kubler Ross, including On Grief and Grieving updated her 5 stages for grief. His first book, The Needs of The Dying received praise from Saint (Mother) Teresa.
David’s personal experience as a child witnessing a mass shooting while his mother was dying in a hospital helped him begin his journey. For most of his life, David has taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about the end of life, trauma, and grief. He facilitates talks, workshops and retreats for those experiencing grief. However, despite his vast knowledge on grief, his life was turned upside down by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. It inspired him to write his newest book, Finding Meaning.
David’s volunteer work includes being an LAPD Specialist Reserve for traumatic events as well as having served on the Red Cross’s disaster services team. He worked for over a decade in a three-hospital system, and was even trained for bio-terrorism events and epidemics/pandemics.
Connect with David
-Website: https://grief.com/
-Book: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief: https://grief.com/sixth-stage-of-grief/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamdavidkessler/
-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamDavidKessler/
-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/davidkesslerongrief
***
This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
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Talking points: self-worth, mindset
This is a wildly simple fact, but so easy to miss. Self-esteem is built along the way, not something you find at the end of the work. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - Intro and real reason your self-esteem takes a hit
(00:03:14) - The secret hope
(00:07:16) - It’s that simple, and that hard
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google
Podcasts | Spotify
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Talking points: stuckness, energy, trauma
Back in May, this anonymous guest came to me trying to solve what’s blocking him from making important decisions and taking action. We uncovered a traumatic event that started this, but that’s just the start of the process. Here are the next steps in understanding and healing this man’s trauma and helping him move forward.
Strongly encourage you to check out part 1 here: https://link.chtbl.com/VaiRj0Oy
(00:00:00) - Intro and catchup: the feeling of stuck-ness
(00:12:00) - What punishment is stuck-ness protecting you from?
(00:20:17) - Learning that feelings and energy can be moved
(00:32:28) - An assignment for my guest to help him move forward
***
This ep was brought to you by Chubbies. Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code mantalks at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/mantalks #chubbiespod
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: routines, mindset
I’m serious when I say this changed my life—and that’s coming from someone that hated mornings in general. It took a long time to turn into a habit, but it was absolutely worth it. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - Intro and first step: actually get out of bed. Early. Here’s how to make it easier
(00:05:57) - Drink a LOT of water right when you get up, and get the double S: stretch and sunlight
(00:08:38) - Breathwork, and then 1 of 2 different workouts
(00:11:20) - Face the cold, and journal (recommended: stream of consciousness journaling)
(00:14:46) - The final and most important piece: connection
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google
Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: PTSD, trauma, intimacy, relationships
It's hard sometimes to know where to begin when it comes to traumatic experiences. Even harder when they're PTSD-level, or secretly impact your relationships/intimacy/work life. Which is exactly why I'm grateful folks like Dr. Frank, who live at the intersection of cutting-edge research, lived experience, and calm strength.
We dive right into WHY these things happen and how they're stored in the body and mind, offering practical advice throughout. Strongly recommend you listen to this one!
(00:00:00) - What can neurobiology teach us about PTSD?
(00:06:20) - What are the symptoms of PTSD, and why disassociation, derealization, and depersonalization happen
(00:16:31) - Where do you even begin getting a handle on PTSD?
(00:23:13) - How Dr. Frank works with men on shame, whether they’re the shamer or the shamed
(00:32:29) - How trauma impacts sex and intimacy
(00:45:44) - Where men should start exploring their sexual potency
(00:51:14) - The event that started it all for Dr. Frank
Frank Anderson, MD, is a world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist. He is the acclaimed author of Transcending Trauma, recently released memoir, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation, and the coauthor of Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual. As a global speaker on the treatment of trauma and dissociation, he’s passionate about teaching brain-based psychotherapy and integrating current neuroscience knowledge with Internal Family Systems (IFS). Dr. Anderson is the co-founder of The Trauma Institute and Trauma Informed Media, organizations that promote trauma awareness, education, integration, and healing. He is a lead trainer at the IFS Institute under Richard Schwartz and has a long affiliation with Bessel van der Kolk and the Trauma Research Foundation. Dr. Anderson maintains a private practice in Harvard, MA, where he lives with his husband and two sons.
Connect with Frank
-Website: https://www.frankandersonmd.com/
-NEW Book: To Be Loved: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Loved-Story-Trauma-
Transformation/dp/1962305112
-Trauma Institute Website: https://www.traumainstitute.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frank_andersonmd/
-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mdfrankanderson
-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/FrankAndersonMD
***
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This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Get matched easily with a therapist who can empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google
Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: monogamy, relationships, culture
Well, can they? This started with me wondering why certain men who are notorious for sleeping around are suddenly hopping on the monogamy train, and ended with me hitting the record button and getting curious.
And honestly, this is way more complicated than a binary "men must/can or must not/can't be faithful partners". Listen in and let me know your thoughts.
(00:00:00) - Intro and why I’m diving into this
(00:05:41) - Where does the idea that men CAN’T be monogamous come from?
(00:14:59) - Monogamous cultures can have benefits, even though modernity seems to disincentivize it
(00:16:22) - Most men ultimately prefer monogamy, but there are underlying issues
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google
Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: sex, technique, communication, relationships
From the foundational ideas to simple practices you can start literally right now, this episode has it all. Deeply appreciate the wildly intelligent insight and practical advice here, courtesy of intimacy and relationship coach Caitlin V Neal. She says the V stands for Victorious; listen to this and I'm pretty sure you'll be feeling victorious yourself.
(00:00:00) - Intro, foundational pieces to a great sex life, and how to start those uncomfortable conversations
(00:11:03) - An incredible framework for communicating sexual issues
(00:17:35) - The best way to create arousal for your partner, and “erotic blueprints”
(00:26:38) - Responsive vs spontaneous desire, and helping your partner articulate what they want
(00:37:59) - Techniques specifically for men
(00:45:34) - The role and importance of breath for men
(00:52:55) - Meditation + masturbation
As a firm believer in the transformative power of sexual empowerment, Caitlin V takes a holistic approach to coaching, addressing not only physical techniques but also emotional and psychological factors that influence our sexual experiences. Through personalized coaching sessions, she guides clients on a journey of self-discovery, helping them overcome obstacles, embrace their desires, and unleash their inner sexual goddess or god.
But Caitlin V’s impact extends far beyond the individual. With a mission to destigmatize sexuality and promote healthy, fulfilling relationships, she shares her knowledge and insights through online programs speaking engagements, and media appearances. Whether she’s discussing the latest trends in sexual wellness or challenging societal norms, Caitlin V is a passionate advocate for sexual liberation and empowerment.
Connect with Caitlin
-Website: https://caitlinvneal.com/
-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CaitlinV
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlinvictoriousx
-TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinvictoriousx_
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google
Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices - Visa fler
