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In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast with host Simon Goode, we dive into the crucial topic of managing emotions during performance management meetings. Simon, a seasoned professional mediator, addresses the challenges often faced in these meetings, especially when conflict escalates. He explores various de-escalation strategies tailored for performance management conversations by focusing on five key aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness. Simon also discusses the importance of balancing assertiveness with empathy, offering step-by-step insights into how to maintain composure through both verbal and nonverbal communication. Whether you're aiming to foster collaboration or need to take a more direct approach, Simon's guidance in this episode provides valuable tools to help navigate performance-related discussions effectively. Tune in to learn how to keep these crucial conversations more productive and less contentious.
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EPISODE SUMMARY:
Understanding Performance Management ConflictsPerformance management processes as potentially adversarial.Natural combativeness and defensive responses.Approach to de-escalation in performance management settings.Balancing assertiveness and empathy.De-escalation Skills and Their ApplicationOverview of five aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness.Individual context-based approach to either assertiveness or empathy.Five options for responding to conflict: competing, compromising, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating.De-escalation Strategy: CertaintyProviding certainty through information about what to expect.Discussing behavior, consequences, and facts.Transparency and specificity in addressing issues.De-escalation Strategy: RelatednessDemonstrating understanding and empathy.Allowing questions and pausing to slow the pace.Addressing emotions and processing time.De-escalation Strategy: AutonomyGiving a sense of control over the meeting and issue.Offering choices and soliciting input on problem-solving.De-escalation Strategy: StatusMaking the person feel important.Acknowledging contributions and separating issue from personal attributes.De-escalation Strategy: FairnessAllowing responses and questions.Implementing transparent processes and outlining change expectations.Nonverbal Aspects of De-escalationVoice tone, volume, and pace adjustments.Facial expression and body language considerations.Maintaining a composed presence to influence meeting dynamics.Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail
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In this episode, host Simon Goode explores the seven Hermetic principles derived from the teachings of Hermes and how they can be applied to conflict resolution in relationships. He delves into each principle, such as mentalism, correspondence, and vibration, discussing their relevance and offering insights on how these ancient concepts can help individuals understand and influence their interpersonal dynamics. The episode encourages listeners to reflect on how their perceptions and behaviors shape relationships and offers perspectives on finding balance and growth within personal and professional conflict scenarios.
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Show Notes:
The Seven Hermetic Principles
MentalismUniverse as a mental creationTheories of the mind: materialism, dualism, idealismReality shaped by perception and thoughtThe concept's applications to relationshipsCorrespondence"As above, so below" philosophyExternal manifestations of internal statesPersonal experiences with anxiety and depressionPractical implications in communicationVibrationEverything is in constant motionDynamics of relationships changing over timeAvoid carrying past issues into present relationshipsPolarityDuality in everything: good and bad, helpful and not helpfulChallenges as opportunities for growthSeeking balance in relationships and conflictsRhythmEbb and flow of relationships and life cyclesRecognizing and learning from relationship patternsStrategies to manage relationship cyclesCause and EffectActions and reactions in relationshipsEmpathy towards others’ behavior stemming from past experiencesImpact of personal actions on relationshipsGenderMasculine and feminine aspects in everythingBalancing creativity and responsiveness in conflictsApplication to leadership and decision-makingClick here to send me a quick message via FanMail
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host and professional mediator, Simon Goode, delves into the art of saying 'no' with confidence and kindness. Reflecting on personal experiences, including morning challenges with his son and client demands at work, Simon explores five practical strategies to effectively communicate a refusal without escalating tension. Whether it's using tactical phrasing like "this isn't the time" or suggesting constructive alternatives, the episode provides listeners with actionable techniques to maintain harmony and assertiveness in both personal and professional settings. Additionally, Simon offers a bonus tip on managing persistent requests, ensuring you'll be equipped to handle even the most determined individuals with composure. This episode is an essential listen for anyone looking to master the delicate balance of saying no, a critical skill in managing everyday conflicts. Tune in to enhance your communication toolkit and navigate conflicts with greater ease.
Tomestamp overview
00:00 Role Modeling Calm Communication
06:10 Choosing Between Soft or Assertive 'No'
08:18 Streamlining Communication Processes Now
10:25 Conditional Approval for Request
15:57 List Management and Authority Dynamics
18:31 "Strategies for Resolving Persistence"
21:21 Breaking the Cycle of Repetitive Discussions
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses the cumulative effects of stress on workplace conflict and the interconnection between work and personal life stressors. He highlights how stress can negatively impact our capacity to handle conflict and offers strategies for managing stress, including during and after conflicts, as well as over the long term. Goode also invites listeners to share their experiences and stay updated on his upcoming online course focused on managing workplace conflict.
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TIMESTAMP OVERVIEW:
00:00 Rethinking Work-Life Balance
03:45 Work Stress Affects Personal Life
07:39 Navigating Work-Life Stress Management
11:29 Shifting from Black-and-White Thinking
15:28 "Stress Response: Fight or Flight"
19:39 Stress Management: Breathing and Mindfulness
23:49 Managing Stress Through Life Tweaks
26:21 Announcement: Self-Paced Online Course
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Discover how to handle workplace biases effectively with actionable strategies to strengthen your conflict resolution skills. In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, Simon Goode explores cognitive dissonance, its impact on decision-making, and biases such as confirmation bias, selective exposure, and the ostrich effect. Learn practical techniques for effective communication, fostering collaboration, and offering constructive criticism while navigating conflicts with colleagues or supervisors.
Whether you're dealing with tough workplace debates, refining your mediation approach, or improving your effective listening skills, this episode is packed with insights designed to enhance your professional relationships. Watch until the end to master debate tactics and uncover tools that help you set boundaries and address biases constructively. Perfect for anyone looking to grow in workplace mediation or improve interactions in professional and personal settings. Subscribe now for more conflict resolution tips and resources!
#nonviolentcommunication #affinitybias #professionaldevelopment #implicitbiasatwork #howtostopbiasatwork
CHAPTERS:
00:00 - Introduction to Cognitive Dissonance
00:22 - Understanding Cognitive Dissonance
04:17 - Exploring Confirmation Bias
11:10 - The Concept of Selective Exposure
15:14 - The Ostrich Effect Explained
19:08 - Understanding the Backfire Effect
21:40 - Strategies to Manage the Backfire Effect
26:16 - Conclusion and Wrap-Up
Papers:
Festinger, L. (1957). “A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance.” Stanford University Press.
Nickerson, R. S. (1998). “Confirmation Bias: A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises.” Review of General Psychology.
Nyhan, B., & Reifler, J. (2010). “When Corrections Fail: The Persistence of Political Misperceptions.” Political Behavior. LinkClick here to send me a quick message via FanMail
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses five online debate tactics that are ineffective when used with friends and family, and offers alternatives for better communication. He emphasises the importance of avoiding aggressive behaviors like interrupting, applying pressure, and using sarcasm, suggesting instead to listen respectfully, reduce pressure, and acknowledge differing viewpoints. The episode aims to help listeners improve their conflict resolution skills in personal relationships by reflecting on Simon's own past mistakes and learning from them.
Interrupting and Controlling the ConversationHow it manifests in conversations (e.g., talking over, steering the conversation)Results and outcomes of using this tacticPersonal anecdote about Simon’s usage of this tacticApplying PressureDifferent ways pressure is applied (e.g., fixed choice questions, not letting thoughts form)Outcomes and the other person’s typical reactionsExamples that illustrate pressure applicationSimon’s discussion on workplace application vs. personal contextsHumor and RidiculeUse of sarcasm and humor in debatesExamples of sarcastic ridiculePsychological impact on social survival and tribe dynamicsRisks associated with this tactic in emotionally charged conversationsStraw ManningDefinition and explanation of the straw man argumentExamples of straw manningHow it causes disengagementSimon’s personal history with this tacticWalking AwaySituations where walking away might be seen as losing or ending the debateImpact of unfinished business with friendsImportance of long-term relationship dynamics
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Online Debate Tactics That Don’t Work (With Friends & Family)Effective Strategies for Managing Debates and Disagreements
Allowing Space and Letting Them SpeakApologizing for interruptionsFocusing on active listeningMethods to signal attention and readiness to listenReducing PressureGiving control over the timing and location of the conversationAllowing autonomy and choiceExamples of reducing perceived pressureRespect and DeferenceBeing overly deferential and respectful in both language and behaviorTreating the other person’s perspective with seriousness and importanceSituational examples of applying respect and deferenceSteel ManningDefinition of steel manningTechniques to present the other person’s argument in the best possible lightBenefits of acknowledging the internal logic of others’ perspectivesLeaving Room for Continued DialogueConfirming the opportunity for future discussionsSuggestions for ending conversations on good termsValidating different views without pressure to resolve immediatelyClick here to send me a quick message via FanMail
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, Simon Goode discusses his approach to analyzing workplace conflict, emphasizing the importance of understanding the self and the interplay of thoughts, feelings, perceptions, behaviors, and the body. He explains the framework he uses for conflict resolution, which includes self-regulation, de-escalation, understanding structural elements, and addressing data, value, and interest conflicts. Simon also highlights the importance of empathetic questioning and assertiveness while providing various strategies for managing and resolving conflicts effectively.
Typical approach as a workplace mediatorApplication for leadership rolesUse in scenarios with limited information (one side of the story)Coaching others on conflict awarenessFramework vs. personal subjective experiences
Approach to Analyzing Workplace ConflictListener Feedback Request
Different formats for podcast content (framework/theory, personal perspective, case studies)Feedback methods (email, positive reviews)Self-Analysis and Conflict
5 aspects of the self derived from Buddhism:Thoughts (cognition and the narrative we tell ourselves)Feelings (emotions and subjective physical responses)Perception (sensory information and attention)Behavior (actions and volition)Body (physical state and presence)Interconnectedness of these aspects during conflictShort-term self-regulation strategies for each aspectRelationship Conflict Layer
Interaction between self and the other personSteps for de-escalation using the 5 aspects of othersStructural Conflict
Decision-making and communication dynamicsAdjustments to communication modes and frequencyWho is involved in communicationLevels of formalityFollow-up processes and information sharingDrivers of Conflict
Three main aspects that drive conflict:Data Conflict (misunderstandings and differences in information)Value Conflict (clash of principles, beliefs, and priorities)Interest Conflict (differing desires and goals)Setting Goals in Conflict Resolution
Defining effective working relationshipsMinimum viable working relationshipSteps to Develop Conflict Resolution Plan
Self-RegulationKeeping oneself calm using the 5 aspects of self.De-escalationStrategies to calm down the other person.Raising the IssueLanguage and approach to initiate conflict discussion.EmpathyQuestions and techniques to understand the other perspective.AssertivenessDefining boundaries and knowing the bottom line.Next StepsDeciding on a specific conflict resolution strategy (negotiation, collaboration, etc.)Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into a neighborhood dispute between Kevin and Jim over speeding in a residential area. Through a case study, Simon explores the underlying causes of the conflict, offers mediation tips, and stresses the importance of fostering a collaborative, future-focused dialogue. Listeners are encouraged to subscribe, leave reviews, and suggest future topics via simongoode.com or email [email protected].
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Simon Goode is a professional mediator and host of the Conflict Skills Podcast, dedicated to providing free resources and tools for effectively handling conflict. With a focus on both workplace disputes and personal disagreements, Simon leverages his expertise to offer practical advice and real-life case studies. Passionate about conflict resolution, he even draws inspiration from his own neighborhood for content, ensuring that his advice is grounded and relatable. If you're looking for strategies to manage conflict, Simon's podcast is an invaluable resource.
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Timestamps:
00:00 Neighbors in conflict over speeding driver issue.05:51 Conflict isn't about data accuracy; it's subjective.
08:57 Values conflict primarily concerns safety and understanding.
10:28 Balancing safety and responsibility through cooperative solutions.
14:52 Autonomy leads to control; confrontation causes tension.
16:35 Perceptions differ from projected communication strategies.
22:26 Planning conversation responses for different outcomes.
25:30 Kevin apologizes but provokes Jim with actions.
26:50 Neighbors' feud creates tension, unease, and awkwardness.
30:15 Share podcast with someone facing neighbor conflict.
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into managing ADHD in the workplace. The discussion is structured around understanding ADHD symptoms, identifying triggers, and implementing effective strategies for managers and team leaders. Simon highlights the need for a balanced approach in providing support and maintaining workplace standards, while also offering practical advice for leveraging the strengths of employees with ADHD.
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Managing ADHD in the Workplace: Strategies for Smoother Team DynamicsExploring Episode 63 of Conflict Skills Podcast with Simon Goode
Conflict Skills Podcast is your go-to resource for tackling workplace conflicts with finesse. Hosted by Simon Goode, this podcast specializes in various conflict scenarios, offering insights and actionable strategies. In episode 63, Simon dives into a particularly nuanced subject: ADHD in the workplace. This blog post builds upon Simon’s discussion and aims to provide further clarity on managing ADHD to foster a harmonious and productive work environment.
Understanding ADHD Symptoms in the Workplace
Simon starts the episode by highlighting the primary symptoms of ADHD that can affect workplace dynamics. These symptoms include:
Inattention:People with ADHD may have difficulty staying focused on a single task, making it challenging to complete assignments on time.Impulsivity:This can manifest as hasty decision-making or interrupting colleagues, leading to friction.Hyperactivity:While less common in adults, this can still result in restlessness and difficulty staying seated or quiet during long meetings.Emotional Dysregulation:Individuals may experience strong emotional reactions that can escalate conflicts.Executive Function Challenges:Problems with planning, time management, and organizational skills are common, potentially leading to misunderstandings and missed deadlines.Understanding these symptoms is the first step in addressing the challenges they present.
Triggers That Exacerbate ADHD Symptoms
Simon underscores several triggers that can amplify ADHD symptoms, making workplace conflicts more likely. These include:
Stressful Deadlines:Tight schedules can worsen ADHD symptoms, such as impulsivity and emotional dysregulation.Unstructured Environments:A lack of clear guidelines and expectations can make it difficult for individuals with ADHD to manage their responsibilities effectively.Sensory Overload:A noisy or cluttered workspace can be particularly distracting, exacerbating issues with inattention.Recognizing these triggers enables managers and team leaders to create environments that minimize stress and distractions.
Effective Managerial Strategies
Balancing flexibility and consistency is crucial when managing employees with ADHD. Simon offers several strategies to help managers maintain this balance:
Recognize Patterns:Understand the unique ways ADHD symptoms manifest in each employee. Tailor support strategies to individual needs.Prepare for Interruptions:Implement procedures that anticipate and manage disruptions, such as shorter, more frequent meetings to accommodate attention spans.De-escalate Conflicts:Develop tactics for calming tense situations, such as taking breaks during heated debates.Leverage Strengths:Identify and utilize the unique skills and perspectives that individuClick here to send me a quick message via FanMail
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In Episode 62 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the complexities of "moving on" from conflicts, offering insights inspired by a listener's review about unresolved workplace issues. The episode explores the nuances of understanding individual perspectives on resolution, breaking down five types of apologies, and emphasizing the significance of trust and mindfulness. Simon also introduces Robert Greene’s concept of "ascending the mountain" to gain broader clarity and shares personal elements to consider in the process of moving forward.
Overview of the Conflict Skills PodcastHost: Simon GoodeFocus: Resources for handling conflicts in various contextsEpisode InspirationListener's review about unresolved workplace issues
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SHOW NOTES:
IntroductionDealing with Unresolved Conflicts
Situations of Unequal Resolution
One person feels resolved, the other remains upsetVice versa: The importance of aligning both partiesApologies and Moving Conversations Forward
Five Types of Apologies
Introduction to various forms of apologiesStructured apologies as a tool for resolutionRobert Greene’s "Ascending the Mountain" Concept
Overview from "The Daily Laws"Broader perspective over timeSeeing situations more clearlyPersonal Elements in Moving On
Five Key Personal Elements
Cognition: How we think about the conflictEmotion: Our feelings about the conflictPerception: How we interpret the conflictAction: Steps we take toward resolutionPhysical Body: Physical responses and stressesMoving On vs. Moving Forward
Discomfort with the term "moving on" in contexts of griefSuggestion of "moving forward" as a more supportive termThe Importance of Trust in Moving On
Four Pillars of Trust
Competence: Trust in skills and abilitiesIntegrity: Trust in honesty and moralsBenevolence: Trust in goodwill and kindnessPredictability: Trust in consistent behaviorAcknowledgments and Structured Apologies
Role of acknowledgments in the conflict resolution processFive types of apologiesImportance and implementationManaging Personal Feelings
Strategies for struggling with moving onAltering perceptionsManaging emotions through mindfulnessConclusion
Encouragement to reflect on personal approaches to moving onInsights into expectations and assumptionsInvitation for listener feedback and future topic suggestionsHighlighting the importance of reviews for podcast visibility
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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Guidance on moving forward, apologies, trust-building.05:14 Viewing change from a holistic self-perspective.
09:07 Accept differences, maintain boundaries, foster working relationships.
12:54 Rebuilding trust: Clear expectations and predictability.
17:25 Prepare for impact, then rebuild trust collaboratively.
21:18 Making up for mistakes with gestures.
23:34 Seeking reconciliation, offering support, moving forward.
27:32 Consider contexts, don't take actions personally.
31:01 Manage emotions deliberately using imaginative persp
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In today's episode, we're diving deep into the art of analyzing workplace conflict situations. Join me as we walk through a strategic, step-by-step toolkit designed to help you better understand and resolve conflicts at work. We'll explore key topics such as self-awareness, the role of goal setting and understanding your circle of control, and the five types of conflict you may encounter. Additionally, we'll shed light on the Insight Discovery model for grasping personality differences and break down various conflict modes like competing, collaborating, and accommodating.
This episode is packed with insights on how to calm your physical stress responses through effective breathing techniques, and why strategic thought always trumps knee-jerk reactions. Whether you're a manager, team member, or just someone eager to improve your conflict resolution skills, this episode has something valuable for you. Let's embark on this journey together and transform our approach to workplace conflicts. And as always, I encourage you to reach out with your feedback at [email protected]. Stay tuned!
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In Episode 60 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode analyzes three detailed case studies of workplace conflicts, offering strategies to address issues such as office music preferences, phone usage during retail shifts, and chronic absenteeism. Each case is examined through various levels of intervention, emphasizing the importance of open communication, empathy, and collaborative problem-solving. Listeners are encouraged to apply these insights to foster healthier and more productive workplace environments.
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Welcome back to the Conflict Skills Podcast! I'm your host, Simon Goode, and today we're diving into one of the most requested topics—workplace mediation. Episode 59 is all about answering your frequently asked questions on how to effectively mediate conflicts within the workplace.
We'll explore the key aspects of ensuring a fair mediation process, from addressing power imbalances to determining the suitability based on safety, willingness, and capacity. Whether you’re dealing with minor disputes or major conflicts, we’ll cover the varying levels of formality—be it a simple meeting, a facilitated conversation, or full-scale mediation.
I'll walk you through the essential role of a mediator, how to establish clear ground rules, and strategies for managing high emotions using de-escalation techniques. We’ll also discuss how managers can promote mediation, handle refusals, and what steps to take if mediation doesn’t resolve the issue.
Remember, not all conflicts are best suited for mediation, especially in cases involving clear breaches of conduct or when parties are unwilling or incapable of participating. Stay tuned for some insightful tips and practical advice to enhance your conflict resolution toolkit. Plus, don’t miss our upcoming episode where we'll delve into real-world case studies!
Let's get started!
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Welcome to the Conflict Skills Podcast, where we provide you with crucial tools and insights for effectively managing both workplace and personal conflicts. I'm your host, Simon Goode, a professional mediator, and today we dive into a particularly challenging yet essential topic: How to run a mediation between a manager and a staff member.
In Episode 56, we'll outline the entire mediation process—from determining its appropriateness to conducting pre-mediation meetings and managing the joint session. We'll also explore critical techniques like creating a balanced environment for contributions, de-escalating conflicts, and ensuring thorough follow-ups. Whether you're a mediator, manager, or team member, this episode will equip you with actionable steps to foster resolution and understanding in your workplace.
Stay tuned to explore how structured mediation can transform workplace dynamics and contribute to a more harmonious environment. Don't forget to engage with us through comments, feedback, or emails at [email protected]. Let's get started!
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In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we're focusing on a challenge many of us face: how to say no to invitations from colleagues without causing offense. We'll delve into effective strategies to decline invitations gracefully, keeping relationships intact, particularly when these relationships are crucial to your work or personal life. I'll share insights on managing five key factors—status, autonomy, certainty, fairness, and relatedness—to help you communicate your decline in a way that is respectful and clear. Whether it's a social event or a professional project, tune in and learn how to handle these tricky situations smoothly. If you find our tips helpful, don't forget to subscribe or leave a review. Let's get started!
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into five strategic approaches for negotiating a raise with your boss, focusing on various conflict types: data, interest, values, structure, and relationship. Through professional examples and personal anecdotes, Simon illustrates how to effectively prepare for these conversations.
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the common struggles parents face during morning routines and shares strategies to ease the chaos. He highlights the importance of maintaining a calm environment to prevent stress and conflict, emphasizing how morning turmoil can affect one's emotional state throughout the day. Through techniques like the GROW coaching model, Simon offers practical advice for fostering responsibility and problem-solving skills in children.
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In today's episode, we're diving into an essential toolkit for anyone dealing with conflict: the best questions for de-escalating tense situations. Drawing from my experiences mediating deeply entrenched conflicts and working in high-stress environments like youth crisis centers, I'll share specific types of questions that can help lower the temperature and foster more productive conversations. We’ll explore how to open dialogues with neutral questions, how to prioritize urgent needs, and how to maintain empathy and understanding throughout the process. Plus, I'll touch on the importance of tone, body language, and offering a sense of control to the other party. Whether you're managing workplace disputes or personal conflicts, this episode provides actionable insights to help you navigate tricky interactions with confidence. Let's get started!
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the importance of developing emotional awareness in navigating workplace conflicts. He explains a structured approach encompassing four stages: self-awareness, self-regulation, awareness of others, and the ability to influence others. Simon also provides practical tips and coaching questions for both individuals and leaders to enhance emotional intelligence and improve workplace relationships.
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the issue of client scope creep, particularly in the construction and design sectors, and provides five conflict resolution strategies to address it. The strategies include addressing data, structural, interest, values, and relationship conflicts, offering listeners tools for effective negotiation and clear communication. Simon emphasizes the importance of understanding these different types of conflicts to better manage and prevent scope creep, ultimately fostering healthier client relationships
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