Avsnitt
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In this episode, we’re exploring an aspect of change that can be really tricky: figuring out why making this change is important to you.
It doesn’t sound like it would be that hard. But often it takes a little digging to get at the true heart of our WHY, our compelling reason.
Whether your goals have to do with your health, finances, career, relationships, or anything else, uncovering your compelling reason is crucial. Because it not only increases your chances of success; it also bolsters your overall mental and emotional health.
Key Takeaways
Knowing what you want to change (or how you’re going to go about it) often isn’t enough to overcome the counter-pressure of the status quo.A lack of alignment between our goals and our values causes internal conflict that reduces our resilience to everyday stresses.When we pursue changes or goals that are about other people’s expectations or approval, succeeding may not be as satisfying or rewarding as we thinkWanting to avoid something bad is just as valid a reason as wanting to obtain something good. But it is a different sort of why.Action Steps
Make a list of your reasons for wanting to accomplish a certain goal or create a specific change. For each reason, ask yourself: But why do I want that? What would that bring into my life? Then what? Keep asking that question until your answers feel connected to what you value most.Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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We are a society of goal-setters. If you’re not setting and achieving goals, you’re not living your best life. Or so we’re told. And goals do have their place. The thing is that goals (alone) are not enough to really move us forward in the ways that matter most. In order to that, they have to be woven into a larger fabric that also includes our core values. In this episode, we talk about how to do that.
Takeaways:
A goal often involves achieving a certain result or crossing a certain finish line. But goals often lose their power to motivate us as soon as we achieve them.An objective goes beyond “I want to achieve this” more into the territory of “this is who and how I want to be.”Think about what objective or identity each of your goals contributes to. This ensures that even short-term achievements are connected to long-term objectives. Listening to podcasts does not create change. You have to actually put these insights and tools to work in your own life.Mentioned:
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Why is it sometimes so darned hard to just do the things that we KNOW will make us healthier, happier and more effective in our jobs and lives?
Behavioral activation offers us a framework for understanding and responding to that familiar situation of not wanting to do the thing that we know will actually move us forward.
Joining me on the show today is Dr. Bethy Campbell, a clinical psychologist, teacher, and coach who regularly stops by the Change Academy to help us make sense of our own brains.
Four Ways We Get Stuck (and How to Get Unstuck)
Overcoping (aka doubling down):: Excessive or overly intense efforts to manage stress or negative emotions.
What to do: Set realistic goals, prioritize, and establish boundariesAvoidance (aka procrastination): Staying away from situations, activities, or thoughts that are distressing.
What to do: Break the task or behavior into small stepsWithdrawal (aka isolating): Staying away from people and activities that you previously enjoyed; refusing to ask for help or support.
What to do: Actively seek out social interactions and engaging activitiesUnintentionality (aka numbing): Lack of awareness or conscious control over behaviors: engaging in mindless activity that may not be that rewarding.
What to do: Set limits on mindless activities, create structured routinesMentioned
- Change Academy #115: How to transform difficult emotions into powerful insights
- Change Academy #11: The Attention Intention Action cycle
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Kurt Nelson and Tim Houlihan are the co-hosts of the Behavioral Grooves podcast and heavy hitters in the behavioral sciences. In this episode, the three of us trade notes on what we've learned from years of podcasting and behavioral coaching and how it impacts our ability to work with our own behavior challenges. (Yup, we still have them!)
Key Takeaways
Curiosity allows for both open-mindedness and critical thinking.Trusted sources are a valuable short-cut but can't completely replace our own judgement. Building a bigger toolkit is great but you still need to know which tool to pick upLife is a series of experiments with an awful lot of uncontrolled variables. The wonderful/awful thing about asking for feedback is that you might get itWho do you want on your behavior change team?Mentioned
Behavioral Grooves podcastThey thought we were ridiculous: The unlikely story of behavioral economics
Brain/Shift Journal
Nutrition GPA app
Change Academy #134: Why behavioral economics shouldn't be the only tool in the toolbox
Change Academy #123: How to build the circle that supports your best work
Change Academy #50: Motivation and Accountability
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It’s a very natural human tendency to compare ourselves to the people around us–and even to the people we see portrayed in the media. And like so many other behavioral tendencies, this one is a double-edged sword. Looking at what others have achieved can inspire us to greater effort. It can also make us feel like crap. And we don't want that!
Today, we're delving into the psychology behind why we are driven to compare ourselves to others, the impact it can have on our mental well-being, and some strategies to help you avoid the compare-and-despair cycle.
Takeaways
Recognize that comparing ourselves to others can either motivate us or lead to feelings of inadequacy, depending on our mindset and circumstances.Be aware of specific situations or people that prompt you to engage in unhealthy comparisons and find ways to either avoid these triggers or change your reaction to them.Shift your perspective from others to your own journey. Measure your success against your past achievements rather than against others' accomplishments.Implement a regular practice of acknowledging what you're thankful for, which can transform your viewpoint from comparison to appreciation.Remember that everyone’s path, including yours, is distinct and equally valuable. Embracing this viewpoint can diminish the urge to compare and help you appreciate the uniqueness of your own and others' life experiences.Mentioned
Stronger Bones Workshop on April 13thInterested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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Behavioral economics has given us a lot of insights into how we can influence our own and other’s behavior. But the approach has some serious limitations, especially when applied to promoting health behaviors.
Joining me on the podcast is Michelle Segar, a frequent guest here on the Change Academy. Michelle is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach whose work focuses on fostering behavior change that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.
Takeaways
Take some time on a regular basis to reflect on how your personal values, beliefs, and motivations align with your desired behavioral changes (and vice versa!)Acknowledge emotional and psychological issues that may present barriers to change. Consider seeking support from a mental health professional, especially if you face challenges like depression, anxiety, or past trauma.Take a look at your social and physical environment and think about how these factors impact your behavior. Consider where you might find supportive communities or how altering your environment might encourage positive habits.Consider getting involved with community initiatives or advocacy groups that are working to address broader societal issues that impact our ability to choose healthier behaviors. For example, groups advocating to make our cities and neighborhoods more walkable or bike-friendly, or organizing mobile farmer’s markets, or upgrading local recreational facilities.Mentioned
They Thought We Were Ridiculous (5-part series on the history of Behavioral Economics)
Better habits aren’t the answer? (Change Academy Ep #111, with Michelle Segar)
No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness, by Michelle Segar
The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise, by Michelle
Certification program for health coaches
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What if the pursuit of happiness is NOT the path to greater life satisfaction? What if being more productive and getting more done isn’t actually the way to get ahead?
In today’s episode, I’m talking to author Oliver Burkeman about some of the ways in which we might want to re-examine our relationship to goals, happiness, and the things that are most important to us.
This is sometimes a bit painful. because so much of it has to do with confronting some of the hard limits that we like to pretend don’t exist. But, as you’ll hear, there is ultimately a profound relief and freedom to be found in facing finitude.
Takeaways
Try to find satisfaction in the journey toward your goals, rather than postponing fulfillment until they are achieved.Cultivating your ability to be present to everyday, even mundane, moments can lead to a deeper appreciation of life as it unfolds.Understand that every choice has its consequences, and it’s impossible to avoid negative outcomes entirely.Some of the most meaningful experiences in life are not the result of meticulous planning or pursuit but unexpected and unplanned.Being present is a skill that can be practiced in everyday situations like waiting in line or working in the office–and not just on the meditation cushion or yoga mat.Books and courses by Oliver Burkeman
Time Management Video Course (BBC/Maestro)
Use the discount code CHANGES30 to save 30%!
The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking
4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
Also Mentioned50K Mile Tune-up Listening Guide and Workbook
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Over the years, I have worked with a lot of people on various aspects of behavior change–mostly having to do with health behaviors. I have witnessed and celebrated some amazing breakthroughs and successes.
But I have also seen people stumble and struggle. Regularly. Something happens and they fall back into old habits or patterns that they’d successfully moved away from.
It’s disappointing but it’s not a tragedy. Because this is just part of the change process. What I do find tragic–and unnecessary–is when these lapses cause people to people give up entirely.
Today, we’re going to talk about how to survive these inevitable episodes and get yourself back in the game more quickly.
Key Takeaways
Setbacks are a natural part of the change process and do not negate previous progress.Refrain from attaching a negative story to a lapse, as it can lead to further setbacks.Approach setbacks with curiosity and self-compassion; seek to understand the underlying causes. Rebound from setbacks by learning from them and redirecting energy back towards the goal.A supportive community can provide reflection, encouragement, and valuable insightsMentioned in this Episode
Permission giving thoughts (Change Academy episode)
Weighless program
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Is there something in your life that’s been driving you crazy for a while? Some situation at work that you find yourself venting to your spouse about every night at dinner? Or maybe a recurring conflict with your partner or your kids that never seems to be adequately resolved? Do you find yourself ruminating over a problematic situation every time you have a moment alone in the car?
In this episode, Dr. Bethy Campbell and I are sharing a 4-step process that can help you exit that complaint loop and actually move toward positive change. Bethy is a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family therapist.
The technique that we’re talking about today is taken from her book on Helping Skills, a book that would be a great resource if you are in a situation where you’re frequently called upon to provide guidance and emotional support.
But this absolutely an approach that can (and should) apply to your own knotty situations.
Key Takeaways
Complaining has its place. When done constructively, it can help us acknowledge and process pent-up feelings, and encourage self-awareness and self-compassion. Repetitive, non-constructive complaining–in addition to wearing out our friends and loved ones patience–increases our stress and hinders problem-solving. Reorienting the language we use to talk about the problem can help us see more possibilities for resolution or change. If you don’t have a trusted partner to help you reflect, journaling or recording voice memos can help you spot and reframe unhelpful language.Mentioned in this episode
Converting good intentions into action (Change Academy episode #129)
Helping Skills Training for Non Professional Counselors (Enter the promo code ADC24 for 30% off)
Dr. Bethy Campbell’s mailing list
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In this conversation with a recent “graduate” of the Weighless program, Lauren shares some of the key insights that helped her permanently transform her physical and mental health.
Lauren is a healthcare professional herself, with a front row seat to some of the consequences of unhealthy habits and lifestyles. She had plenty of motivation to change. And yet, she still needed some support to turn that knowledge into consistent behavior change.
As you’ll hear, Lauren was a little surprised at how much of the work of behavior and lifestyle change is actually about some key mental shifts–including one that really struck me as critical.
Key Takeaways:
We often just focus on the outward behaviors we want to change, but the inner work is key.Your progress depends on what you want for yourself, not how you stack up to others.Taking care of ourselves well doesn’t necessarily take more time than neglecting our needs.Taking time to consider our desires and preferences can help us design behavior changes that are more sustainableModeling self-care and healthy behaviors for our kids is a gift with long-term benefits.Mentioned in this Episode:
Weighless Program enrollment info
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There’s clearly no shortage of good intentions in the world, and most of them actually have to do with health. People want to get into shape, they want to eat better, they want to lose weight. Unfortunately, very few of these good intentions get converted into reality.
Believe it or not, there’s a technical term for this: It’s called the intention behavior gap. And in this episode, I want to share with you some research-based strategies for bridging the gap between good intentions and healthy habits.
Key Takeaways
- We waste a lot of time problem-solving issues that aren’t really what’s getting in the way.
- Clarity on goals and strategies is more important than how much time or money we have to spend on something.
- Willpower does not exist in a vacuum. It is supported by a range of other behavioral attributes.
- Even more important than planning is flexibility when things don’t go according to plan.Mentioned
30 Day Nutrition Upgrade program - https://nutritionovereasy.com/upgradeInterested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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Careers are one of the ways that we find meaning and purpose in our lives. Not the only way, of course. But what if you wake up one day and realize that your true purpose might be better fulfilled by doing something other than what you originally trained for. Now what?!
Design thinking offers tools and processes that can help us both imagine and then execute big shifts in our lives.
Lisa Waltuch and her business partner, Jen Sullivan, are co-founders of Encore Retreats, where they host transformational getaways and events. Lisa also has her own practice as a Life Coach through Thrive Coaching, where she uses design thinking to help her clients imagine and then inhabit really big changes. I thought she'd be the perfect person to talk about this with.
Takeaways
-Your true purpose might be better fulfilled by doing something other than what you originally trained for. Instead of asking “What did I train to do?” ask “What impact do I want to have?”- You are never too old (or too successful) to choose a new path. You can make bold changes at any life stage.
- Don’t let yourself be shackled by what has come before. Ask yourself, “How do I want my life to unfold or evolve from here?
- Some of your values may have shifted throughout your life. Mind-mapping can help you explore your current values, which can help you design a life of great happiness and satisfaction.
Mentioned
8 Things You Need to Create Lasting Change (listening guide)
Encore Retreats
Mind Mapping Exercise
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I was recently exchanging emails with someone who was struggling to change some unhelpful behaviors.
He wrote: “I do really well for a couple of days and then I go totally off the rails again. It’s such a vicious cycle. I just need to be be more disciplined.”
And if there is something that you are struggling to change, you’ve probably thought the same thing. But I don’t think summoning up more discipline is necessarily the answer.
In this episode, I’m talking with someone who found a better way to create positive change and momentum–which led to dramatic improvements in her health.
As you listen, think about how the specifics of her translate into whatever you’re working on and the kind of effort you are applying to that work.
Key Takeaways
Instead of focusing on the behaviors you’re trying to change, take a look at the thoughts and beliefs that are driving these behaviors.When it comes to lasting behavior change, self-awareness will get you a lot further than will power. If you are frustrated with your results, ask yourself if you are happy with the effort that you are putting in to create them.Being able to ask for (and accept) help or support is an under-rated super powerOffering support to others is a great way to access wisdom and insight that can be applied to your own situation.Mentioned
Find out more about Weighless ProgramInterested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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I’ve decided that my special word for 2024 is Reboot.
Much of my last year was consumed by the reboot of the Weighless program–a coaching program that I launched with Brock Armstrong 7 years ago, and which has now been now relaunched in a new format that I think is its best version yet.
The Change Academy is not about weight management, per se. My goal in this podcast is to give you tools that you can apply to create positive change in any aspect of your life. But in this episode, I want to talk more specifically about the Weighless Program and take you behind the scenes of our recent reboot.
If that is not of interest, you might want to check out our introductory series The 8 Things You Need to Create Change, or the more intensive series called the 50,000 Mile Tune up. There are free listening guides available for both of them and either one of them would be a great way to charge up your batteries for your own reboot, or whatever else 2024 has in store for you.
Mentioned
Weighless Program enrollment details
See exactly what’s in the Weighless curriculum
Listen in on a Weighless Office Hours
Listening Guide for 8 Things You Need to Create Change
Listening Guide for the 50K Mile Tuneup
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This is the last of a special 5-part Mindset Reset–a little bonus series to help us get our mindset tuned up as we head into the New Year, and into whatever new projects and objectives we’re hoping to tackle. This last mindset reset is really the key to any change you are working on: Remembering that we are all works in progress.
Whether or not you're thinking about joining the Weighless Program, I hope you've found this special Mindset Reset series helpful. Our program members often tell us that these mindsets positively affect other aspects of their lives: their relationships, their work/life balance, how they spend their valuable time, the environment they create for themselves, and their overall life satisfaction.
And if you are considering joining us, we delve much MUCH deeper into mindset (and so many other things) in the program. We have a new group starting on January 1st.Learn more about the Weighless Program
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We have reached the fourth installment our special 5-day Mindset Reset series and this reset is a juicy one. Many of us have learned the unhelpful habit of moralizing our food choices. Here's a more helpful way to think about the choices we make.
If you’re interested in learning more about the Weighless Program, from which this series is derived, go to https://weighless.life. We have a new group starting on January 1st and if you could use some support with weight management in the New Year I’d love to have you join us!
Learn more about the Weighless Program
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This is the third installment our special 5-day Mindset Reset and we're talking about balancing our approach to food as a source of both nourishment and pleasure.
As with most of the things we talk about here in the Change Academy (and in the Weighless Program), the real payoff is in the implementation. So, don't just listen. Make sure some rubber is meeting the road.If you’re interested in learning more about the Weighless Program, from which this series is derived, go to https://weighless.life. We have a new group starting on January 1st and if you could use some support with weight management in the New Year I’d love to have you join us!
Learn more about the Weighless Program
Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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This is Part 2 of our special 5-part Mindset Reset series–a little bonus series to help us get our mindset tuned up as we head into the New Year. In this reset, we're talking about how we recover from setbacks.
Because this series was originally developed to accompany the Weighless Program, the examples here focus on typical dieting behaviors and mindsets. But even if that’s not what you’re working on, I bet you can translate these insights into whatever you are working on.
If you’re interested in learning more about the Weighless Program, from which this series is derived, go to https://weighless.life. We have a new group starting on January 1st and if you could use some support with weight management in the New Year I’d love to have you join us!Learn more about the Weighless Program
Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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For this last week of the calendar year, we're departing from our usual format to bring you a special 5-day series called the Weighless Mindset Reset.
The New Year is a time when many people resolve to eat healthier. Unfortunately, those resolutions have typically crashed and burned by the second week of January. By taking a little time to tune up our mindset, I think we can greatly improve our chances of converting our New Year resolutions into more lasting behavior change.This series was originally developed to give people who were interested in the Weighless Program a taste of the kind of work we do in that program. (Mindset of course is only one aspect of that program, but it’s an important one.)
We'll be sharing a new Mindset Reset every day between now and New Year’s Eve. If this series resonates with you and you're ready to take the next step, our next group program begins on January 1st.
Learn more about the Weighless Program
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There are apps and devices that help us what we eat, weigh, spend, save, how much water we drink, how many steps we take. But what is all of this tracking doing for us? Are we using these tools and this information to improve our wellbeing or have we succumbed to the tyranny of tracking?
Joining me on the podcast is registered dietitian and workplace wellness consultant Cassie Christopher. Tracking is a a topic that comes up a lot for each of us in the coaching work that we do and in this episode, we explore what tracking offers, where it often goes wrong, and how we can leverage the benefits without it becoming an unhealthy or unhelpful practice.
I’m also excited to share that the Weighless Program is once again accepting new members! The next group begins on January 1st. All the details are at weighless.life/enroll.
Mentioned
Learn more about the Weighless Program
Learn more about Cassie Christopher’s workInterested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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