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  • Well, my stupid, sorry, parasitic sacks of entrails… a new episode awaits your listening pleasure.

    Clear out the wax in your ears and use it to curl your moustache, because this week, we're talking about Steven Spielberg’s version of Peter flockin’ flyin’ Pan - Hook (1991)!

    Peter Pan was a big deal to me. After having been to see the play, I rolled up paper and stuck it down the back of my shirt to emulate the wires the actors flew on and I ran around the house like that, flying and fighting Captain Hook. You can imagine my surpise when the men came to take me away. But I've been back for two weeks now and have never felt better.

    But digression is a mortal sin, and I do digress.

    Blah blah steamboat pickle schnozz on a pile of poo.

    What follows is two hours long. Yes, two. Not one, not one and a half. Two.

    My advice? Strap in. But get your enema first.

    We have some preliminary discussions about the re-release of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace on it's 25th anniversary and sex, two uneasy bedfellows.

    Our quiz this week was sponsored by Hyperbollick Bollix and is a collossal waste of time and resources, so enjoy that. Si sure did!

    And of course, our awfully big adventure with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman and Julia Roberts, whose feet remain clean almost throughout (damn that inkpad) and all of whom are upstaged by a red mohawk.

    Now, I want you to bend your heads ever so slightly. A little more...that's it. And brace yourselves listeners, because this...is really going to hurt...

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

  • What's your greatest phobia?

    Si and Jonny delve deeply into the weird and baffling world of fear in this week's episode, our first one back in over 3 months!

    Are you excited? Are you hopping up and down with glee? Are you perspiring with unfettered joy? Or is it more a case of a subtle raise of the eyebrows and a muttering of "oh, right..." before adding this to a perpetually growing queue of podcast episodes that you won't get to before 2026, if it even survives the inevitable purge in a few month's time?

    Cynical? Moi?

    Well, seeing as no-one reads this, I can say whatever I want, can't I? I like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Yes, I do. It's not the best, but I like it, so you can shove it up your arse. Yes, I've gone rogue and I don't care who knows it. I used to eat Coco Pops out of two plastic cups. One with Coco Pops and milk in it and one with just Coco Pops for a refill. It was glorious. I used to lie on my bed, watch 24 and eat it with a plastic spoon. I bloody loved it and I'm not even ashamed. The song "Hello, Hello, Hello" by Remi Wolf is on my playlist and I don't skip it when it comes on. You wanna start something? Come on! I'm right here! The ship sinks! Bruce Willis is a ghost! It's a sled!!!

    Ahem...

    Sorry about that. I seem to have gotten Gizmo wet and fed the offspring after midnight...

    So here's another episode, we talked about Jaws...er...Arachnophobia.

    The one with the spiders and Harry from Speed.

    Peace out.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

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  • Welcome to spooooooky season on WOSN! This week we reviewed Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, a ghoulish tale of a murdering spectre with a tendency to lop awff the noggin.

    Why does that make Jonny Northern? No idea. It just happened. Best to just go with it.

    Along the drawn out way we hit the usual spots - Trivia Corner, VFX Cavalcade of Whatever, Movie News and yet another quiz that had Si scratching his...head.

    So, grab yourselves a nightcap, settle down by the fire and lock your doors. Don't worry, he won't come for you unless you've pissed off Miranda Richardson lately...

    Enjoy another steaming cup of Si and Jonny this Halloween as we delve into the mysterious happenings of...Sleepy Hollow.

    THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED THE DAY BEFORE SIR MICHAEL GAMBON PASSED AWAY. IN SLEEPY HOLLOW, HE PLAYS THE ROLE OF BALTUS VAN TASSEL. WE'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS EPISODE TO HIM. RIP AND WELCOME TO THE LAYER CAKE, HARRY.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

  • Summer is still here. It just won't go away. And yet, we managed a bonus episode to keep you going until such time as we can peel ourselves back up off the floor and get back to it.

    This episode is made up of two discussions that unintentionally wound up connecting to each other.

    We talked typecasting, Alan Rickman was mentioned.

    A couple of weeks later we recorded, on Si's PHONE ( the shaaaame!) an impromptu discussion on the subject of THAT nose while with our kids in the park. The results...well, I'll let you decide.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

  • Si was a bit impatient during this one. He felt that an episode concerning the movie Speed should run at a brisk pace.

    I had other plans, clearly. I say clearly, because editing this thing during the summer holidays with work and kids on my back, I haven't heard this since we recorded it two weeks ago, so here I am scolding my past self for being, well, annoying.

    The main thing is that it's here. It managed to pull it's way up from limbo and into your delicate ears, much like one of those parasite things from Star Trek 2.

    So here we go. Pop quiz, hotshot. There's an episode of WOSN, it's an hour or so long and you've only got half an hour to listen to it. What do you do?

    Well, listen to the first half hour, put it on pause and then listen to the rest later. You nonce.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

  • Last week, the Duke of Buttley and Lord Fartlebee went to see Indiana Jones and the Vial of Density and we recorded this episode in the car on the way home. While our opinions of the movie haven't changed, fridge logic has now set in and we've found even more holes in it than Sonny Corleone.

    BEWARE, HERE BE SPOILERS. ARRRRR!

    But before we got to that, Si voiced his thoughts on last week's interview with my very special guest (our very first "previously on WOSN") and you can listen to some more out of date movie news!

    So, set the alarms on your dials of destiny, because this is one episode you won't want to miss.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

  • Hello, and welcome to the new What's Our Seat Number. No longer the frivolous, whimsical, sarcastic and erotic podcast that you're used to. Instead we will now approach each subject with serious, sober reflection and a grave, businesslike demenour. You can call us Fred Austere. This podcast is now officially dour and funereal.

    Right down to that strange hiccuping, burping noise Si made. He also channels Luis from Ant-Man for some of the finest summarising anyone's ever done, ever.

    This week, we review Steven Spielberg and George Lucas' classic Raiders of the Lost Ark, for no apparent reason other than we wanted to. No-one else has done anything Indiana Jones-centric this month at all, and there's nothing significant happening in the world of Indiana Jones right now.

    We also decided to keep it short, glossing over each scene with never so much as more than a passing mention, for a paltry 2 hours, making this one of our shortest episodes ever for a film we really have no nostalgia, reverence or even a mild passion for. It's really just a big dud, isn't it? Perfectly round boulders made of fibreglass? Ha. Bollocks. That's not realistic at all. Boulders are made of rock. Idiots.

    Si came up with an awesome Indy quiz that stumped Jonny more frequently than once...and quick visits to Trivia Corner and VFX Attic reveal Raiders' secrets that you can likely Google and find more quickly than it took us to talk about them.

    Hear Si complain about the speed of our progress every few minutes (which invariably slows us down further) and hear Jonny pronounce Toht as Tote several times (that’s how Spielberg says it, but maybe it’s pronounced Tot?)

    PLUS! Jonny brings on a very special guest to talk about her opinion of Raiders' ending, something they disagree on, but Jonny's stuck with her, so what to do... witness the podcast debut of Michal Gross, Jonny’s missus.

    So sit back and relax, because this ramble will take you on a journey. Where, you ask? I don't know, we're making this up as we go...

    POD ART - Once again Si has conjured up some awesome episode art for this episode. I'm just glad he didn't go with the mooning golden idol with my face on it...

    Check him out on Twitch at https://www.twitch.tv/sigrossart

    Instagram - sigrossart

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

  • You wanna get nuts? I know a place that sells nuts and many assorted snacks! Let's get some nuts!

    This week's episode is a solo affair, and no, I'm not talking about a middling Star Wars movie...or wanking...I just went to see a film that my partner in pod and biological brother, Si, has not seen.

    I took an afternoon off and went to see The Flash by my lonesome. The film stars intermittently annoying Ezra Miller as the Scarlet Speedster, while a couple of previous Batmen show up to ensure audience turnout.

    In the words of Louis from The Princess and the Frog - it didn't end well. Box office has been somewhat below expectations for Andy Muschietti's fanbaiting multiverse flick, despite some positive reactions, and while it is an amusing way to pass a couple of hours and Michael Keaton is always welcome, there are some issues that keep it from achieving greatness.

    Listen on for my thoughts!

    UPDATE!

    This episode now comes with a generous helping of SI!

    Si unexpectedly watched the movie and we chatted about it right here in this updated episode!

    !!SPOILER ALERT!!

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

  • In 1980, Superman II was released to great fanfare and adoration, but it was NOT credited to original director Richard Donner. Donner had in fact been removed from the project halfway through the simultaneous filming of both movies and Richard Lester (The Three Musketeers '73) was brought in to replace him. The result is vastly different to what was planned. In 2006 Donner got the chance to unearth his discarded footage and recut the film to suit his original vision. Is it better? Is it worse? Well, that's what we're here to talk about!

    We compare and contrast both films exhaustively with another visit to trivia corner (hosted this week by a pair of invading Daleks) and some more Jonny and Si bants that you can only get right here!

    Don't forget to like, subscribe and leave us a review!

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

  • I'm going to teach you all something very very valuable right now about podcasting. Prepare yourselves, because these are pearls of wisdom right here.

    The key to having a successful podcast is CONSISTENCY.

    So here we are, willy nilly releasing episodes a couple of weeks apart, a couple of months apart...our last full episode was mid-April...so...yeah. Consistency. Always consistency.

    Having said that, this episode is a cracker!

    Where else can you get Movie News that's over a month old without going back and listening to old...

    ...

    ...yeah, I suppose you could do that. And why not? We have fun, don't we?

    This week's episode deals with the absolute clusterfuck that was the making of Superman The Movie and Superman II.

    And next week, we go into to detail comparing and contrasting Superman II the theatrical cut with the more recent Richard Donner Cut, the original director who was fired after having completed 80% of Superman II and was given a chance in 2006 to realise his vision. Also, we got a couple of Daleks to do Trivia Corner, so listen out for that...

    Also be sure to take a gander at Si's pod art for this week, it's bloody gorgeous!

    Enjoy!

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

  • Here's another bonus episode for you lovely people while we at WOSN er...get our act together.

    It's-a us!

    In this little amuse bouche, we talk about our kids and, along the way, we perhaps mention Puss in Boots and The Super Mario Bros Movie. We stopped short of showing pictures of our little ankle biters. I mean it's a podcast, you wouldn't be able to see them, that's just ridiculous.

    In amongst the movie and tyke-talk, we regale you with anecdotes and delightful bon mots that you can only get here at What's Our Seat Number. It's classy, it's up-market. We also say "fuck" occaisonally because our vocabularies are low.

    So, once again, slip on a pair of headphones, perhaps a gimp mask and some latex (we don't judge here) and put your feet up to enjoy yet another fun-filled episode of this here podcast.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

  • Do you know your ABC? You'd better if Nic Cage is around...

    This week, we went see Renfield, a new comedy/horror flick, which would have been just fine on it's own. Nicholas Hoult is a great actor, the premise - Dracula's familiar in modern day New Orleans joins a support group for the abused - is high concept and funny. But then you turn away. Then you blink. Then someone says "Nicolas Cage IS Draaaaacuuuulaaaa" and that's all she wrote. You've now spilled your hot choccy all down your nice new sweater in sheer excitement. Everything that that suggests and more is fulfilled in this movie. Repeat that to yourself in a whisper on a loop. Nicolas Cage is Dracula. Yeah, he is!

    There's also another round of "Stop, Hey, What's That Sound?", movie news, trivia, dad puns and more sound clips than you can swish a cape at.

    So, don’t have a tansy. Chuck that beverage soaked sweater in the wash, warm up some donor blood in the microwave and get ready to listen to yet another...erm, solid? Yeah, I'd say solid. Perfectly solid...episode of this here podcast.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

  • How many filmmakers does it take to change an SD card? Why do we keep asking the talent to clap before a take? Why is there never a craft services trailer on my set?

    All these questions and many, many more that you've always dreamed of asking...won't be answered in this episode. If you want to ask your own questions please send them to us on our Facebook or Twitter pages.

    What we do have on this week's bonus episode is a Q&A sent in by devoted fan (and possible stalker) ShaCass, whose wife has tried to make me diet relapse by force feeding me an offical Scramballed cookie the other night at the Scramballed launch party...

    By the way, Scramballed is a game on the Nintendo Switch that Si made. Give him some props, he deserves it.

    Follow on Facebook - facebook.com/scramballed

    and Twitter - twitter.com/unboxedexp

    Elsewehere, there's some sooooo last week belated Oscar chat, so stick around for that. Conclusions? Inconclusive. Just that the Oscars happened and something about Hugh Grant. Felt cute. Might publish. TL;DR - an episode happened.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Trap Ident by LEXMUSIC.

  • This week, we review a PT Anderson-like instant classic about a mother searching for her daughter in the woods, a cop trying to find meaning in life by way of his love for dogs, a ranger trying to keep control of the local thugs, a pair of drug dealers finding friendship amid grief and suffering and...a bear hopped up on cocaine gone on a rampage, ripping anyone who gets in her way limb from limb.

    That's right! It's Cocaine Bear!

    You'll never look at another severed leg again without the desire to snort a line off it.

    I'm fairly certain that when my daughter asks me to find her Winnie the Pooh toy tonight. I'm going to go look for it yelling "where's the BEEEEAAAARRRR!"

    As usual, the Brothers Bantz (TM) er...banter, we give you your weekly dose of movie news and another round of Stop, Hey, What's That Sound? And later, trivia and VFX chat.

    So grab your razorblade, roll up a 20, or simply have a friend pour a pack over your head while you wistfully sigh something about cocaine Christmas, and hit play. Do it.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

    A Halloween - Wolf_Music

  • What's Our Seat Number episodes are like buses. You wait months for one and then two come along at the same time.

    Once again, we gift you, free of charge, free of obligation, free of wit or intelligence, a bonus episode of our illustrious, prestigious and presumtuous podcast.

    Please enjoy the following prattle - we discuss the one thing that Jonny needs in order to bribe him into jumping out of a perfectly good plane sans spleen, we ruminate on the 80's "nice guys" of yesteryear (it WAS yesteryear, I'm NOT turning 40 in July) and we wrap up with a quick discussion about our favourite DC shows.

    Enjoy, but don't go overboard. We don't want too much excitement at this age...

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Trap Ident by LEXMUSIC.

  • SCREAVI is the new Scream movie, bucking the trend of awkwardly stylized titles with numbers in them. No, I lie. It’s pretty awkward. At least they didn’t call it Scream 2.

    We went to see this movie the other night and then recorded this very episode you hold in your ears, while sitting in the car. No one need ever rent studio time again, this is a patent, it sounds way better than doing it in an actual room in a building.

    We chat about some fairly unrelated stuff and have some belated movie news (seriously, even the physical, printed papers are ahead of us) before diving into a discussion of the movie in general and then we go into spoilers with fair warning.

    Pull up a chair, grab a steaming plate of Punkishin (or bowl? We haven’t decided yet) and savor every moment of this week’s episode, because Xenu knows when we’ll be able to do it again…

    What should your end credits theme be? Let us know in the comments!

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

  • Yippee Ki-Yay mothercluckers! Fresh from game design stardom and slumming it with us once again, my co-host Simon Gross has finally returned! Much like chickens batting exploding eggs at each other with frying pans, our conversation this evening was once again fraught with banter, slurred words and the constant, unprofessional shitting of the proverbial and literal bed.

    In this episode, we talk about late film critic Robert Eejit’s favourite Passover flick Die Hard (1988) starring Bruce McClane, Bonnie Langford, Dwayne The Rock Robinson, Reginald JeanValJeanson, Hart Bochhhhner, The Sherriff of Rottingham, Necros from The Living Daylights, Dickless from Ghostbusters, Him Out Of That Thing, Weird blonde bloke from The Money Pit and, in a bit part, Viggo the Carpathian.

    Disclaimer - Movie News might be a tad out of date due to the break between episodes…but I think it’s…seamless. Merry Christmas, everyone!

    So, when you get where you’re going, take off your shoes and your socks and walk around on the rug barefoot and make fists witcha toes. While listening to this episode of course. Yessir, better than a shower and hawt cup of cawfee. Trust me, I’m doin’ this fa niiiiiiine years.

    In the meantime, I’ll just say farewell and wish you a very happy Yo Nesbow.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

    A Halloween - Wolf_Music

  • A veritable Russian Doll of tangents are at the fore of this week’s episode, where the sheer amount of unrelated topics careening wildly off the road is positively mind boggling. It’s like, you know when you’re in the middle of a sentence and you think of something else and then you get stuck on that thing but you were supposed to be talking about something else? That’s this episode.

    Right…where was I? Oh yes…The Pagemaster! It’s a film that we’re talking about this week, with microphones precariously balanced on mic stands only prevented from falling over by apples in a bag hung from the back and a pop filter wedged into the shock mount taped to a plastic knife. And why? Because both mic stand and pop filter broke within minutes of each other before recording. But that’s neither here or there. I just wanted you to know how hard it was.

    As a result, Jonny’s mood took a turn for the cantankerous with the black cloud that used to form over Si’s head ominously gliding over to him, with hilarious and/or annoying results. You decide.

    Boobies are mentioned, Jonny explains what auto-correct is, we forget which Planet of the Apes movie is which, something about Henry Cavill…

    And we talk about The Pagemaster for roughly some of the runtime, I promise.

    All together now: The egg-zit!

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

    A Halloween - Wolf_Music

  • Happy Halloween! 'Tis the night of ghouls, ghosts, witches, goblins and pumpkins and what better way to celebrate it than to stay inside, lock the doors, hide your candy (because it's MINE!) and listen to us chat about The Frighteners?

    Peter Jackson's 1996 breakout flick sees Michael J. Fox as Frank Bannister, a con man who sets up hauntings so that he can exorcise houses. The twist? He can actually see ghosts and he sends his deceased pals Cyrus and Stuart to throw things around. When a hooded grim reaper figure starts killing off the townsfolk, Frank's on the case!

    We recommend this movie heartily, it's a good 'un.

    We open our episode with a discussion about bad language, so it's allowed. Rated E for Educational.

    Come for our discussion on the movie, stay for a round of "Answer Me Quickly", some slightly outdated Movie News, Trivia Corner and whatever Si's calling his VFX segment nowadays.

    Also, if you’re looking for quality Michael J. Fox impressions…probably best to look elsewhere…

    Ready? Let's have an episode.

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.

    Adventure Battle Victory Ident by MPAudioSolutions.

    Job Done Comedy Logo by FlossieWood

    Jazz Jingle Logo by RedOctopus.

    Nightly News Impact Logo by HollywoodEdge.

    News by MusicalSmile.

    A Halloween - Wolf_Music

    Trap Ident by LEXMUSIC

  • I know what you're thinking. Didn't we do this already? Haven't you already droned on for what seemed like a lifetime about this trilogy of films? Well, now we've got added Si and through his eyes I could see deep into his soul to surmise...that he was tired. Midnight is no time to record a podcast, dammit!

    Now, dear listeners, you can hear the other side of the conversation. Enjoy, and remember...spoiler alert!

    MUSIC TRACKS

    Modern Funk Groove by StudioEtude.

    Feel The 80s by Nuclearmetal.