Avsnitt

  • My guests this week - Lisa Arends and Helen Tower - know just about everything there is to know about the painful subject of infidelity, because they have lived it through it themselves. Both have written extensively about their experiences.

    Lisa’s is a story of the most extreme and dramatic betrayal: ten years ago her husband ended their 16-year marriage with a text message, after which she never saw him again. Lisa rebuilt her life and has a new partner.

    Helen’s experience involved her partner’s lengthy affair with a co-worker. After initially separating from her husband, Helen came to the decision to try and rebuild the relationship. She and her husband recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, and the journey toward recovery continues.

    Both Helen and Lisa agree that recovering from infidelity is all about strengthening the self. The journey to a new life and a new relationship (whether that’s with the unfaithful partner or someone new) hinges on doing the work to achieve self-knowledge and personal strength.

    This week’s episode is a fascinating three-way conversation featuring two totally different experiences of infidelity. It is essential listening if infidelity has been a part of your experience, but it also has much to offer if you’d like to feel stronger and more empowered in your relationship.

    Lisa Arends is a data scientist, former middle school math teacher and accidental expert on divorce. She is passionate about empowering, motivating and inspiring people as they move through difficult transitions and life situations. Lisa blogs at Lessons from the End of a Marriage. She lives outside of Atlanta with her husband and two adorable pit bulls.

    Helen Tower writes and blogs about infidelity (Helen Tower is the pen name she uses to protect her family). In 2018 Helen discovered her husband of twenty-two years was having an affair, and eight months later published her story as Sailing Through Infidelity: A Story of Love and Forgiveness.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read Lisa Arends’ blog Lessons from the End of a Marriage

    Follow Lisa Arends on Facebook @LESSONSFROMTHEENDOFAMARRIAGE, on Twitter and Instagram @stilllearning2b and on YouTube.

    Helen Tower blogs at Sailing Through Infidelity

    Read Helen Tower’s books, including Sailing through Infidelity: A story of love and forgiveness.

    Listen to Helen Tower's podcast Sail Through and Beyond Infidelity https://open.spotify.com/show/0191IgpffJkLcxebwTm5S5?si=DYMn9S--QPOi5LT2HxRZag&dl_branch=1&nd=1

    Follow Helen on Facebook @HelenTowerAuthor, on Instagram @helentowerstaycalm and on Twitter @sailinginfidel1

    Read Andrew’s books on infidelity recovery:

    Why Did I Ever Cheat? Help Your Partner (and Yourself) Recover From Your Affair

    How Can I Ever Trust You Again? Infidelity: From Discovery to Recovery in Seven Steps

    I Can’t Get Over My Partner’s Affair: 50 Questions About Recovering from Extreme Betrayal and the Long-Term Impact of Infidelity

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on:

    Twitter https://twitter.com/andrewgmarshall

    Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewGMarshallTherapy

    YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF5gT7ru5sblpFaU2-iWTTw

  • Most of us have a conversation we’re avoiding: a child coming out to their parent, a family losing someone to terminal illness, a friend noticing early signs of dementia. There are moments when we simply must talk, listen and be there for one another.

    Dr Kathryn Mannix, a consultant in palliative care medicine, has spent her career having what she describes as “tender conversations” with bereaved families. Her new book, Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations, is a guide to not shying away from difficult subjects with those we care about.

    In this episode Andrew and Kathryn discuss why it is we so often don’t say what needs to be said. They look at how to be brave in the face of discomfort, how to sit with silence, and how to speak from a place of gentleness and care.

    Dr Kathryn Mannix has spent her medical career working with people who have incurable, advanced illnesses. She is the author of the bestselling With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well, as well as her new book, Listen. Kathryn is a qualified cognitive behavioural therapist and started the UK’s first CBT clinic for palliative care patients.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read Dr Kathryn Mannix’s books: Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations and With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well

    Listen to Dr Kathryn Mannix’s previous appearance on this podcast, What You’ve Been Told About Death Might Be Wrong

    Follow Dr Kathryn Mannix on Twitter and Facebook @drkathrynmannix

    Read Andrew’s blog Help Me Be a Better Listener

    Read Andrew’s book on starting a deeper conversation with your partner, Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube

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  • A year’s worth of ideas about living a meaningful life is a lot to digest. Over 2021, we touched on trauma, reimagining death, recovering from infidelity, creating a business, parenting, gratitude, and so much more.

    In this retrospective episode, Andrew and podcast engineer Michael Dooney each choose their top five. These are the episodes that stayed with them, influencing and changing the way they think about life and relationships.

    In the bonus material for supporters, Andrew and Michael discuss the best ways to put what you loved about each episode into practice in order to change your own life for the better.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Listen to Andrew and Michael’s 2021 highlights:

    Caroline Madden on Infidelity: How to Rebuild TrustElaine Dundon on Stop Being a Prisoner of Your ThoughtsPhilip Carr-Gomm on Stop Living the Provisional Life and Start Creating an Authentic OneHannah Martin on How to Believe in Yourself and Start Your Own Business Lisa Marchiano on Being a Mother: a Journey of Self-DiscoveryPhilippa Perry on What You Wish Your Parents Knew & What Your Children Hope You LearnKathryn Mannix on What You’ve Been Told About Death Might be WrongEleanor Mills on How to Reinvent Yourself at 50 (or Any Age)James Hollis on How to be ResilientChester Elton on How Gratitude Could Revolutionise Your Life

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • How often have you heard masculinity described as “toxic”, “fragile”, or “in a crisis”? JJ Bola - writer, former youth worker, and UNHCR Ambassador - tries to go deeper in understanding how society is failing boys and men.

    In this episode, JJ Bola describes masculinity as a performance that we require boys to learn; along the way stifling their individuality and emotional health. Different societies have different myths about masculinity, and JJ Bola is able to draw on his experiences as a Congolese man growing up in London to show how diverse these ideas are.

    If we could discard the performance of masculinity and allow boys to grow up free and to be who they are, we are likely to see the benefits in love and sex, politics, competitive sports and mental health.

    JJ Bola was born in Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He grew up in London and has written two novels - No Place to Call Home and The Selfless Act Of Breathing - as well as three collections of poetry - Elevate, Daughter of the Sun and WORD - and a non-fiction book about masculinity and the patriarchy, Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined.

    This week’s episode takes a slightly different format: Andrew interviews JJ Bola at the annual MANN SEIN conference in Berlin, an international gathering to talk about masculinity in today’s world.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Find out more about the MANN SEIN annual conference in Berlin/online.

    Read JJ Bola’s books: Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined, No Place to Call Home, The Selfless Act Of Breathing and Refuge (which collates his 3 volumes of poetry).

    Follow JJ Bola on Twitter and Instagram @JJ_Bola

    Listen to Andrew’s other conversations on masculinity:

    ⭐️Jed Diamond PhD on “Your Personal Creation Story”

    ⭐️Joe Horton on “Men, Fathers and Meaning”

    ⭐️Matthew Fray on “How Good People Mess Up Their Marriages”

    ⭐️Warren Farrell PhD on “The Boy Crisis”

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Becoming a parent is impossible to prepare for. Jack Underwood describes “feeling that there should have been more paperwork. We signed a form or two and then they just sort of let us take you away. A human child”.

    Parenthood changes our relationships, our view of the world, our sense of self. It’s rare in the whirlwind of night wakings and nappies, though, that anyone has the time to sit down and think about what exactly it is that’s happened to them.

    In this episode, Andrew talks to Jack Underwood, a poet, writer and critic, about how and why he writes about fatherhood, his interest in the concept of uncertainty, and the complexities of modern masculinity.

    Jack Underwood lives and works in London. As well as being a poet and author, he works as a senior lecturer in creative writing at Goldsmiths University of London. His most recent collection of poetry is A Year in the New Life, which in October 2021 was shortlisted for the TS Eliot Prize.

    Jack Underwood is also the author of Not Even This, a meditation on the theme of uncertainty inspired by his anxieties about becoming a parent. His 2015 debut collection of poetry, Happiness, won the Somerset Maugham Award.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read A Year in the New Life or Not Even This: Poetry, parenthood & living uncertainly or Happiness by Jack Underwood

    Follow Jack Underwood on Twitter and Instagram @jundermilkwood

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    If you’re a lover of poetry, you could also listen to Andrew’s interview with Brighton poet John McCullough on Seven Ways Poetry Could Make Your Life Richer, Deeper and More Meaningful

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Stepping into a bath of ice isn’t the obvious pastime for a Northern winter. But if you do it the right way, the extreme cold can be:

    ❄️ Empowering - diving in means turning off the voices of procrastination.

    ❄️ Relaxing - staying in the bath requires you to work on physical relaxation.

    ❄️ Mindful - the cold focuses you hard on the now.

    ❄️ And, extremely healthy - there is evidence for cardiovascular benefit.

    Dr Josephine Worseck is a molecular biologist, yoga teacher, naturopath and exponent of cold exposure. The Wim Hof method she teaches is based on the three pillars of breathing, cold and mindset.

    In this episode Josephine speaks with Andrew about what led her from a successful career as a scientist into a new life helping people find their true potential and lead the lives they want.

    Andrew and Josephine also talk about the art of breathing, and take listeners through a powerful relaxation exercise.

    Josephine Worseck is based in Potsdam, Germany. She spends her days teaching clients the benefits of cold exposure, and also guides groups up mountains, leads freezing outdoor swims and teaches yoga and breathing methods.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Visit Josephine Worseck’s website.

    Buy Josephine Worseck’s book Die Heilkraft der Kälte (currently only available in German).

    Follow Josephine Worseck on Instagram @josephineworseck and on Facebook as @DrJosephineWorseck

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Read Andrew’s blog on how to start keeping a journal, in which you can reflect on failure and growth: https://andrewgmarshall.com/top-twelve-benefits-of-journaling/

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • How would your life change if you suddenly had all the money in the world? This was the experience of John Lefebvre, who was catapulted from an ordinary existence as a lawyer and musician into a life of untold wealth during the dotcom boom of the 2000s.

    John’s life of luxury came to an abrupt halt in 2007, however, after the FBI stormed his home and arrested him for money laundering, racketeering and conspiracy. John pled guilty, paid a fine of $40 million, and served 45 days in a Manhattan jail.

    Over the last two decades John has given away well over $50 million. He says that money is like dope – it takes more and more to achieve the same rush, until you just can’t get high on it anymore. He became convinced that eventually the only rush that remained was sharing wealth with others and experiencing their joy at being set free from cares and concerns.

    John has since found meaning in music, writing (he is the author of two books), spiritual exploration and climate activism. He has worked closely with David Suzuki and supports Vancouver’s Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education.

    John maintains that the earthly existence that has miraculously befallen each of us is actually the complete answer to anybody’s wildest dreams, and that we must start taking basic care of everyone on Earth.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Visit John Lefebvre’s website

    Buy John Lefebvre’s books Good With Money and All’s Well: Where Thou Art Earth and Why

    Visit the blog John Lefebvre cofounded, DeSmog.com, which is dedicated to exposing climate misinformation.

    Follow John Lefebvre on Facebook @thoughtfulspecies and on Twitter @thoughtfulspec

    Read Andrew’s advice on keeping a journal of your life and emotions at https://andrewgmarshall.com/top-twelve-benefits-of-journaling/

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/wake-up-and-change-your-life-how-to-survive-a-crisis-and-be-stronger-wiser-and-happier/

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Some of us are afraid of it, some of us gave it up decades ago, and some of us are trying desperately to master it. The art of flirting is a form of relationship magic, and it can bring so much happiness into our partnerships and our lives. Flirting opens us up to silliness, fun and joy.

    In this episode Andrew talks with flirting coach and psychosexual therapist Cate Mackenzie about why we should master the skills of flirting.

    Andrew and Cate talk about the ways in which your childhood might have left you finding the physical cues involved in flirting difficult, and how to overcome this.

    Andrew and Cate discuss:

    ⭐️Flirting for those coming out of long-term relationships and starting to date again

    ⭐️Flirting for those burnt by the dating scene

    ⭐️Flirting for couples who’ve given up on it

    ⭐️The sometimes thorny issue of flirting and boundaries.

    Cate Mackenzie is a psychosexual therapist and couples counsellor. Cate runs courses in flirting and dating for pairs and individuals. She is regularly heard on BBC Radio ‘Woman’s Hour’ and ‘Five Live’, and is also famous as the Dating Coach on ‘The Undateables’ (Channel 4), the Flirting Coach on ‘The Jeremy Vine Show’ (Channel 5) and the Psychosexual Therapist on ‘Kinky Britain’ (Channel 4). Cate has her own podcast, Love, Pleasure and Joy with Cate Mackenzie, for which she has interviewed the likes of Ruby Wax and Russell Kane.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Buy tickets for Cate Mackenzie’s online course, Flirt Coaching at Love School, starting in Feb 2022.

    Listen to Cate Mackenzie’s podcast, Love, Pleasure and Joy with Cate Mackenzie

    Visit Cate Mackenzie’s website

    Follow Cate Mackenzie on LinkedIn and Twitter @CateMackenzie and Instagram @Catemmackenzie

    Find out more about Betty Martin

    Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship

    Read Andrew’s blog on Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship:

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • “You’re only old once” says aging expert and author Kathleen O’Brien, and the wisest path is to embrace the freedom and wisdom of being an elder.

    In this episode, Kathleen challenges us to:

    Tell everyone our ageIgnore talk of “aging gracefully”Learn to love our aging appearanceCelebrate our eccentricities Expect younger people to respect usSee time and death as our allies

    Kathleen O’Brien, 73, is the author of Reclaim Your Right To Grow Old. She has researched aging for over 13 years and teaches classes on her aging philosophy through the University of Denver’s continuing education program. She has also worked in advertising, television, video production and academia. Kathleen lives in Denver, Colorado, and writes regular blogs on her blueprint for aging at growoldbehappy.com.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions.

    Read Kathleen O’Brien’s book Reclaim Your Right to Grow Old

    Visit https://www.growoldbehappy.com - Kathleen O’Brien’s blog.

    Follow Kathleen O’Brien on Twitter @Kat_O_Brien and on Facebook and Instagram @GrowOldBeHappy.

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Read Andrew’s blog “How To Avoid the Silver Divorce”

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Are you a serial people-pleaser? Do you find all your self-worth at work? Or do you gravitate towards difficult partners, with problems you feel driven to fix for them?

    These are some of the signs and symptoms of codependency. Codependency has a big impact on how we feel about ourselves, and may mean we keep repeating destructive relationship patterns.

    In this episode, Andrew and psychotherapist Michelle Farris discuss the signs and symptoms of codependency, and Michelle identifies seven key signs you may be codependent. Michelle also shares her personal history of overcoming codependency.

    Michelle Farris is a licensed psychotherapist who specialises in “helping codependent people create healthy relationships without sacrificing their big heart”. Michelle is the author of several e-books and online courses, and has been featured in Psych Central, Bustle, Your Tango, The Good Men Project, The Daily Positive, and Boss-Moms to name a few.

    In her private practice, Counseling Recovery, Michelle believes that growth doesn’t have to take years and loves seeing her clients learn to trust themselves and create healthy relationships.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Visit Michelle Farris’ website

    Get Michelle Farris’ free relationship checklist and video

    Get Michelle Farris’ Self-trust Solution Journal

    Follow Michelle Farris on Twitter @mshellMFT, on Facebook @CounselingRecovery, on Instagram @counseling_recovery and on YouTube as Michelle Farris, Relationship Therapist.

    Find information about Alcoholics Anonymous and Codependents Anonymous

    Listen to Andrew’s interview on Good Boundaries: The Foundation of Happy Relationships with Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton

    Read Andrew’s blog “How to Heal from Trauma: Six Key Ways to Deal With Trauma”

    Read Andrew’s book on making meaningful change in your life Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Have you found the freedom to explore the rich landscape of your erotic self? Or did your childhood leave you feeling restricted and repressed by a sex negative mindset?

    In this week’s episode Andrew talks to Silva Neves, a psychosexual psychotherapist, about:

    Why people DON’T fully explore their sexual selvesWhy labelling people “sex addicts” is unhelpful, and The liberating mindset of sex positivity.

    Silva Neves works with couples experiencing a wide range of sex and relationship issues, including sexual trauma, infidelity, and compulsive sexual behaviours. He regularly appears in the British media and was featured on the BBC Three’s television series, Sex On The Couch.

    Silva is a COSRT-accredited and UKCP-registered psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist, and a trauma psychotherapist. His private practice is based in Central London and online.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Visit Silva Neves’ website

    Visit Silva Neves’ site on sex positivity

    Get advice from Silva Neves via his Psychology Today blog

    Read Silva Neves’ book Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians

    Learn about the course Silva Neves teaches at CICS - an Online Diploma in in Compulsive Sexual Behaviour

    Follow Silva Neves on social media: Twitter @SilvaNeves3; and Instagram and Facebook @silvanevespsychotherapy

    Read The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

    Read The Men On My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy by David Rensin and Brandy Engler

    Read Andrew’s book Have the Sex You Want: A Couple’s Guide to Getting Back the Spark

    Read Andrew’s blog How To Have the Sex You Want

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Matthew Fray is the author of the viral article “My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes By the Sink”. His divorce left him emotionally crushed: struggling not to cry all the time, and finding it hard even to breathe.

    In this episode Andrew and Matthew talk about the lessons of Matthew’s failed marriage, and about how Matthew is using his own experiences in his coaching work with men experiencing relationship difficulties.

    According to Matthew, “the things that destroy our relationships work like cancer…by the time we detect the problem, it’s already too late”. His work is based around helping men to see the problems earlier, and to build the emotional toolkit so many of them are missing.

    Matthew Fray works as a relationship coach and as a writer. He blogs at Must Be This Tall To Ride and has a book coming out in April 2022, called This Is How Your Marriage Ends.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Pre-order Matthew Fray’s book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships

    Read Matthew’s blog Must Be This Tall To Ride

    Read Matthew’s articles on The Good Men Project:

    Follow Matthew on Twitter @MBTTTR and on Facebook @matthewfrayMBTTTR

    Read Andrew’s blog “Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship”

    Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on:

    Twitter https://twitter.com/andrewgmarshall

    Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewGMarshallTherapy

    YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF5gT7ru5sblpFaU2-iWTTw

  • Your last encounter with a poem may well have taken place in a grim classroom, perhaps a painful dissection of WB Yeats or Matthew Arnold.

    Poetry can be something entirely different, however, and prize-winning poet John McCullough gives us poetry that is a source of joy, mindfulness and sheer fun.

    John McCullough “guides us through a world of déjà vu, doubt and rapture” (Helen Mort). His poetry gives us “fresh insight into vulnerability and suffering”, according to the judges of the Costa Poetry Award. His poems reference Kate Bush, Lady Gaga, birdlife, Grindr and My Little Pony, while exploring love, loneliness and issues like homelessness and homophobia.

    In this episode Andrew and John talk about the ways poetry can make your life richer, deeper and more meaningful. Poetry helps us live in the moment, it offers a rest from relentless rational thinking and it helps us to process our experiences and make sense of them.

    John McCullough's latest book of poems, Reckless Paper Birds, won the 2020 Hawthornden Prize for Literature and was shortlisted for the Costa Poetry Award. He has also won the Polari First Book Prize and his collections have been named Books of the Year in The Independent, The Guardian and The Observer. He is featured regularly in magazines such as Poetry London, Poetry Review and The New Statesman. Most recently, his poem 'Flower of Sulphur' was shortlisted for the 2021 Forward Prize for Best Single Poem. John lives in Hove with his partner and two cats, and teaches creative writing at the Open University and the University of Brighton.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read Reckless Paper Birds, John McCullough’s Hawthornden Prize winning collection.

    Find out about John McCullough’s other books.

    Follow John McCullough on Twitter @JohnMcCullough_ and Instagram @mrjohnmccullough

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.

    Listen to Andrew’s interview with author Josh Cohen on “How to Live: What You Can Learn From Your Favourite Literary Character”.

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Many of us, particularly women, experience endless frustration because we don’t feel heard. At work and at home, it seems like we are constantly interrupted and rarely feel in control of a conversation.

    This week Viv Groskop, journalist, podcaster, stand-up comedian and author of How to Own The Room and Lift As You Climb, talks with Andrew about how to speak so that people will listen. Diving into the world of stand-up taught Viv about pacing, pausing and gauging people’s reactions; but most importantly, about quieting your own ego and tuning into your audience.

    Andrew and Viv discuss why exactly it is that many women struggle to be heard. At the practical level, it is crucial to enter the discussion assertively. We also need to make sure we are not self-sabotaging by pre-judging our own contribution as “not good enough”.

    Viv Groskop hosts the chart-topping podcast How to Own The Room. She has written five books and this year will be a judge for the International Booker Prize. She is a regular guest presenter on BBC Radio 4 and has appeared on Woman’s Hour, Today and Front Row. Viv is also a fluent Russian speaker and is a trustee of Pushkin House, the independent centre for Russian culture in London.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall

    Listen to How to Own the Room, Viv Groskop’s podcast: https://vivgroskop.com/podcast/

    Read How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking, Lift As You Climb: Women, Ambition and How to Change the Story, Au Revoir Tristesse: Lessons in Happiness from French Literature and Viv Groskop’s other books

    Visit Viv Groskop’s website: https://vivgroskop.com

    Follow Viv on Instagram and Twitter @VivGroskop

    Read Andrew’s blog How to Be a Better Listener https://andrewgmarshall.com/help-better-listener/

    Get Andrew’s book on communicating better with your partner Help Your Partner Say Yes: Seven Steps to Achieving Better Co-operation and Communication: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/help-your-partner-say-yes-seven-steps-to-achieving-better-co-operation-and-communication/

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • We all know that good boundaries are pretty much essential if we want happy relationships. There is a lot of confusion, though, about what exactly a boundary is and how to make it work. Can we have too many boundaries? Should we ever compromise on the boundaries we set?

    This week Andrew talks about boundaries with Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton, psychotherapists and co-founders of the London Centre of Applied Psychology. Matt and Graham share their own experiences of creating good boundaries in both love and parenting, and what it means if we are struggling to get this right.

    Our ability to set boundaries is linked closely to our attachment style: those with an anxious attachment may allow their boundaries to crumble too easily; while those with an avoidant attachment can have so many rigid boundaries that they struggle to let anyone in.

    Andrew also shares a prayer for good boundaries, which he often uses with marital therapy clients:

    'I am me and

    You are you.

    It's a miracle that we've found each other

    But I'm responsible for my stuff

    And you're responsible for yours'

    Graham Johnston is a psychotherapist and educator. He is Director of Policy at The Bowlby Centre, the UK’s leading training institution in attachment-based psychotherapy, and has also worked for the UK Government, specialising in home affairs. He and Matt Wotton are the Co-Founders and Directors of LCAP.

    Matt Wotton is a psychotherapist and executive coach, and also Chair of The Bowlby Centre and Director at LCAP. Matt has over two decades of experience in forensic mental health in the criminal justice system - in operations, coaching leaders, and advising ministers. He led the review of Race in the Criminal Justice System (The Lammy Review), commissioned by the Prime Minister, and has been a member of the Prison & Probation Board.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Learn more about the London Centre for Applied Psychology (LCAP), where Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton work as Directors.

    Learn more about The Bowlby Centre, the UK’s leading training institution in attachment-based psychotherapy.

    Follow LCAP on Twitter and Facebook @LCAPsychology.

    Read The Mindful Athlete by George Munford.

    Read the poem “On Marriage” by Kahlil Gibran.

    Read Andrew’s book on making meaningful change in your life, which also discusses attachment theory Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.

    Read Andrew’s blog Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship:

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Is your home environment helping you to live the life you want, or does it get in the way? Clutter - the piles of stuff we don’t need and don’t use - can be a major block to our desire for clarity and meaning.

    If we dig deep into the reasons we hold onto possessions, we can learn some uncomfortable lessons. Are we struggling to leave behind past relationships, past selves? Do we need more help to cope with grief and loss? Or are we endlessly waiting for a special occasion, so we can bring out the “good china”, rather than celebrating the beauty in the everyday?

    Tracy McCubbin’s story is full of warmth and inspiration: growing up with divorced parents, one of whom was a hoarder, she “turned her psychic wound into her business”. She built a hugely successful company to help her clients create home environments that support them in their lives.

    Tracy is also the Co-Executive Director of OneKid OneWorld, a non-profit helping schools stay open in Kenya and Central America.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Buy Tracy McCubbin’s book Making Space, Clutter Free: The Last Book on Decluttering You’ll Ever Need.

    Visit Tracy McCubbin’s website: www.dclutterfly.com

    Follow Tracy on Instagram, Facebook @dClutterfly and as Tracy McCubbin on Youtube

    Take a look at the charity of which Tracy is Co-Executive Director, OneKid OneWorld.

    If you struggle to talk to your partner about issues like clutter, read Andrew’s blog Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Have you ever experienced a strange, inexplicable coincidence that left you feeling “like a grand, mysterious character in a story?” One that seemed to suggest a particular relationship was “meant to be”, or, on the flipside, that it was time to let go?

    This week Andrew talks to Jungian analyst Robert Hopcke about synchronicity: the strange coincidences that make us feel like the universe is sending us a message, or trying to turn our lives around.

    These coincidences have the potential to help us find the meaning we’re seeking. Synchronistic events can offer a sense of underlying wholeness in our lives. They often happen in times of transition, and help us move to the place we need to be. They offer us the opportunity to recognise the symbolic quality of everyday life, and to be alive to the symbolism that everyday objects, events and people present.

    Robert Hopcke is a Jungian analyst, author and a licensed marital therapist in private practice in Berkeley, California. He is the author of two books on Jung’s concept of synchronicity - There Are No Accidents and There Are No Accidents in Love and Relationships - and a number of other books about Jung.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read Robert Hopcke’s book There Are No Accidents: Synchronicity and the Stories of Our Lives

    Read Robert Hopcke’s book There Are No Accidents in Love and Relationships: Meaningful Coincidences and the Stories of Our Families

    Take a look at Robert Hopcke’s website

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Read Andrew’s blog on journaling and find out how writing can help you bring more meaning into your life

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • For Andrew, it is the writings of Dr James Hollis, one of the world’s most eminent Jungian analysts, that have “sustained me through my dark times”. James Hollis' books also regularly help Andrew’s marital therapy clients to create change in their relationships and recover from infidelity.

    For the 50th episode of The Meaningful Life With Andrew G. Marshall, Andrew speaks to James Hollis about what it means to be resilient - how do we discover and develop the strength nature gives us to “walk through the forest” when we inevitably hit dark times?

    Bookshops and the internet are full of “five steps to happiness” style self-help manuals, telling us that if only we wake up earlier, change jobs, or eliminate caffeine, we will solve all our problems.

    In fact, life is fractious and difficult, and requires us to persist. The best way to do this is not an external solution, but to find and trust the strength within ourselves.

    James Hollis is a Washington D.C. based Jungian psychoanalyst and the author of seventeen books. He was Executive Director of the Jung Educational Center in Houston, Texas for many years and Executive Director of the Jung Society of Washington (JSW) until 2019. He also worked as a Senior Training Analyst for the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts and as a Director of Training of the Philadelphia Jung Institute.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Take a look at James Hollis’ website.

    Read Andrew’s review of James Hollis’ book Swamplands of the Soul: New Life in Dismal Places.

    Read Andrew’s review of James Hollis’ book Living an Examined Life: Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey.

    Read Andrew’s review of James Hollis’ book Living Between Worlds: Finding Personal Resilience in Changing Times.

    Read Under Saturn’s Shadow: the Wounding and Healing of Men by James Hollis.

    Listen to Lisa Marchiano of the This Jungian Life podcast speaking with Andrew about meaning and motherhood.

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • According to Dr Warren Farrell, the world is facing a “boy crisis”. Suicide, ADHD and weak educational outcomes are among the problems boys and their parents face. Many bright boys are experiencing a “purpose void,” feeling alienated, withdrawn, and addicted to immediate gratification.

    Andrew and Warren discuss why boys are struggling and what parents, teachers, and policymakers can do to help our sons become happier, healthier men and fathers and leaders worthy of our respect.

    Dr Farrell is an author and academic specialising in men’s issues. He has been chosen by The Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders, and by the Center for World Spirituality as one of the world’s spiritual leaders. He is also the only man ever elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in New York City. Dr Farrell has been interviewed by Oprah, Barbara Walters and Larry King, and has been featured in Forbes, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal.

    This week’s episode takes a slightly different format: Andrew interviews Warren Farrell at the annual MANN SEIN conference in Berlin, an international gathering to talk about masculinity in today’s world.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Find out more about the MANN SEIN annual conference in Berlin/online.

    Learn more about Warren Farrell on his website: https://warrenfarrell.com

    Read Warren Farrell’s book The Boy Crisis: https://warrenfarrell.com/product/the-boy-crisis/

    You can follow Warren Farrell on Twitter, Facebook, Youtube and Instagram @drwarrenfarrell

    Read Andrew’s book on how to be a great parent and have a happy marriage, Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/can-we-start-again-please-twenty-questions-to-fall-back-in-love/

    Watch Andrew’s video on the Ten Golden Rules of Happy Parenting: https://youtu.be/Ksk6PQSGhQs

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall

  • Are you jogging along, not really noticing how time is passing? Avoiding the big questions by spending hours on distractions that don’t really add much to your life? For most of us, if we knew death were around the corner, we would most likely use our time differently.

    Oliver Russell was one of the first people in the UK to be infected with COVID-19. All of his major organs shut down and a police officer was ready to visit family with the news of his death.

    Oliver was already struggling to deal with the long, empty-seeming days of the new retiree, the needs of his aging mother, and an over-reliance on alcohol. COVID tore this troubled existence apart. After a long, frightening journey to the edge of death, he was pushed to make major life changes. Oliver stopped using alcohol, transformed his social circles so that they were positive and rejuvenating, and found a new appreciation of the small pleasures of life.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read Andrew’s advice on dealing with painful feelings

    Read Andrew’s thoughts on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall