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Today I want to talk about a lie that we're told about porn addiction. We're often told that addiction is just a bad habit, that we need to abstain from it, get over our impulsivity, and just say no to the cravings and urges. But let me tell you, that's a bunch of crap.
Overcoming porn addiction isn't just about saying no to the habit; it's about developing a new mindset and lifestyle that supports sobriety; a recovery mindset and lifestyle. Addiction isn't the root issue; it's a symptom of deeper mental, spiritual, relational, and physical suffering. So, what does it really take to break free from addiction? Let's dive deeper.Pornography addiction isn't just limited to substances like drugs or alcohol; it can manifest in various forms, including pornography, overeating, or even workaholism. Anything that we want to stop but feel we can't, despite the negative consequences, falls under the umbrella of addiction. It's about recognizing the imbalances in our lives and addressing them holistically.
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DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Learn More About My Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Blog Article - Porn Addiction is Just a Symptom
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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How can feeling bad about porn addiction make you more likely to seek it out?
Do you ever wonder how you could possibly want to stop watching porn so bad, yet the worse you feel about it the more you seem to “want” it? Does it seem strange that you could feel so negative about something, and yet crave the heck out of it at the same time?
You think, “there must be something wrong with me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go back over and over again to this thing I can’t stand.”
Your pornography addiction continues to take things from you. It hurts you and those around you. Yet, the desire for it just doesn’t seem to go away. You think “If I just feel bad enough about it, then I’ll stop.”
Want to know something?
That is the opposite of the truth.
In today’s episode, I will teach you about the psychology behind all of this
I’ll explain how the worse you feel about something the more likely you actually are to do it, and I’ll show you how to transform your mindset and mental habits so you can overcome pornography for good.
In today’s episode, I’ll teach you 5 reasons why we go back to addictions that we feel bad about, and how our negative feelings actually drive our addiction.
I’ll also give you 4 simple-to-do, practical solutions to overcome these negative feelings, and start fueling long-lasting recovery so you can quit porn.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Learn more about the Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Blog Post for this EpisodeOther Episodes and Articles to help you stop porn addiction:
Things To Do Every Day to Help You Stay Clean
4 Lifestyle Choices that Help You Get Rid of Porn Addiction
Overcome Porn Addiction Using Nutrition
How Do I Tell My Family About My Porn Addiction?
Why Porn Addiction Destroys Motivation and What to Do About It
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
No More Desire
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Saknas det avsnitt?
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Porn addiction is a struggle for many today. Finding ways to break free of porn can feel confusing and overwhelming, as we aren’t sure where to start.
One method of overcoming addiction that is gaining traction is nutrition. In episode 47 of No More Desire, hosted by me (Jake Kastleman), we turn the spotlight to the intersection of nutrition, mental health, and addiction recovery.
Jordan Gundersen, a Master Herbalist renowned for his expertise in health and nutrition, delves into how dietary choices and natural remedies can play a pivotal role in combating addiction cravings and fostering mental well-being. In turn, empowering us to quit porn.
To learn more about Jordan Gundersen, Master Herbalist, and his wife Cassidy Gundersen, Nutritionist Ph.D, go to HEALTHSAVES.ORG.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from pornLearn More About My Intensive Recovery Program
No More Desire
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I recently received this question from one of my listeners:
“I’m trying to break free from porn. What are some key things I can do throughout the day so that when it comes to the time I get home I’m not tempted beyond what I can handle? I know the Bible says that I will never be tempted beyond what I can bear but sometimes I feel like I can’t beat it...”
I LOVE this question!
There are so many amazing things that we can do everyday to “armor up” and make ourselves resilient to addiction.
To overcome porn addiction, we need to develop a recovery mindset and lifestyle. In today's episode, I teach you all about it!If you want to get clean for good, join my intensive recovery program. I teach my clients how to develop a recovery mindset and lifestyle, so they can stay sober FOR GOOD. Learn more about my intensive recovery program.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Addiction Recovery Program for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
Why Porn Addiction Destroys Motivation and What to Do About It
Dependence, INdependence, INTERdependence
What the Stoics Teach Us About Recovery
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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Do you wish you felt in control? Are you tired of experiencing porn cravings everyday? Today, we’re going to talk about how to stop cravings and fantasizing so you can overcome porn addiction for good.
I remember what it felt like dealing with non-stop cravings and wondering if I’d ever get better. I remember feeling out of control and hopeless.
Now, after 9 years of sobriety, and helping others achieve their own recovery, I can say it is not hopeless at all. There is so, so much hope.
Quitting porn requires a shift in mindset. It’s not about trying hard enough, it’s about knowing how to try.
Today, I’ll share a real life example of addiction recovery that I believe will give you several significant guidelines you can follow in order to get sober and stay that way.
If you want to get serious about addiction recovery, join my coaching program. I’ll help guide you to success and sobriety through:
One-on-one sessions with someone who has both personal and professional experience in recovery.Daily Check-ins that help you understand what’s really leading to your addiction so you can break free of porn for good.Personalize Plans and Goals we work on step-by-step to transform your life and well-being.Recovery Curriculum that teaches you the mindset and lifestyle you need to be sober.Click Here to Book a Consultation.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
Why Porn Addiction Destroys Motivation and What to Do About It
Dependence, INdependence, INTERdependence
What the Stoics Teach Us About Recovery
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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Today, I’m going to teach you why porn addiction destroys motivation, and what you can do about it.
During the decade I struggled with addictions to porn and masturbation, I constantly regretted how I was squandering my potential. I felt like the times I was clean of porn I could do pretty well in life - I was productive in school, at work, my relationships were better, I was friendlier.
But during the times that I struggled with porn addiction, all of that seemed to disappear, or at least to suffer. I thought “If I could only stop watching porn and masturbating, I could get my motivation back and accomplish things”. Not that I accomplished nothing, but I knew I was capable of far more than what I was doing.
Motivation is one of the main things we need to overcome porn addiction. And…overcoming porn addiction is one of the main things we need to feel motivated.
This can make for a pain-staking cycle.
When we become addicted to porn, we can become sapped of drive and zest for life. We feel a lack of enthusiasm and love for what once excited us.
To break free of porn addiction, we need to feel that enthusiasm and love so we can fill the hole inside of us.
This can seem impossible for many of us addicts, and we wonder how we could ever escape such an endless cycle of needing motivation to overcome, and needing to overcome to feel motivated.
In today's episode, I'll teach you how.DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
Ease Stress in 5 Steps
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More Episodes
No More Desire
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One of the main reasons that we struggle with porn addiction is we have not yet learned how to manage stress effectively.
Managing stress is not an easy task, especially with how many challenging emotions and decisions face us today.
Most people are more stressed than they’ve ever been, with the political, economic, and societal context.
But all this does not need to lead to addiction.
Rather than escaping through pornography addiction (or other addictions), we can learn how to stop running from discomfort, and start leaning into it.
We can handle difficult situations and emotions with peace and acceptance.
By doing this, we can develop the skills to quit porn long-term.
In today’s episode, I’ll teach you the 5 steps to ease stress.
If you want to take recovery seriously, join my coaching program. You’ll experience:
One-on-one sessions with someone who has both personal and professional experience in recovery.Daily Check-ins that help you understand what’s really leading to your addiction so you can break free of porn for good.Personalize Plans and Goals we work on step-by-step to transform your life and well-being.Recovery Curriculum that teaches you the mindset and lifestyle you need to be sober.Click Here to Book a Consultation.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
Dependence, INdependence, INTERdependence
What the Stoics Teach Us About Recovery
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More Episodes
No More Desire
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Are you trying to quit porn for yourself, or for others?
Should you be motivated to stop watching porn for your spouse? Your kids? For another family member or a friend?
Sometimes we addicts can rely heavily upon others - to an unhealthy extent. Or, we can completely isolate ourselves, trying to do everything on our own.
When it comes to our attitude and outlook, it is important we get one thing straight. Our ability to stay clean or porn does not hinge on any outside influences.
It’s not others’ fault when we relapse. It’s not others’ responsibility to motivate us to stay clean.
It’s ours.
Plain and simple.
Can other people or circumstances make it easier to stay clean? Absolutely! Can other people help us stay sober? Totally!
We can and should lean on other people to overcome porn addiction, and we should be someone others can lean on too.
In today’s episode, I’m going to discuss dependent, independent, and interdependent methods of sobriety. We’ll discuss the balance between finding motivation in ourselves vs. finding it in others, and the healthiest outlook we can have to achieve long-lasting sobriety from porn addiction.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
What the Stoics Teach Us About Recovery
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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How can the teachings of the Stoics help us overcome porn addiction?
Stoicism is a moral philosophy for how to live a good life. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing stoicism is all about being serious and having no emotion. Being “stoic”, right? This has little to do with what Stoicism actually is.
We also make the assumption that stoicism, as a philosophy, is irreligious. But this is not the case.
If you’re not familiar with the Stoics, they were philosophers during the age of the Roman Empire. They believed that by observing and being aware of thoughts and emotions, and acting according to reason, we can discontinue allowing earthly passions to rule us, and become masters over our minds, committing ourselves to a life of service to our fellow men.
In essence, we could describe pornography addiction recovery this same way: To become an observer of our thoughts and emotions, to master our mind, and to have a life of meaning and service replace the draw of worldly pleasures.
Today, we’re going to focus on some teachings from my man, Marcus Aurelius, one of the original stoics, and the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 A.D.
If you haven’t read Marcus Aurelius' journal - The Meditations - I highly recommend it. That’s where I’ve pulled today’s teachings from. I hope they help you stop watching porn and get sober for both yourself and family.
When we are caught up in addiction, we can feel like a slave to our body’s earthly passions. Marcus Aurelius taught men to live a life founded on serving - which is in essence the opposite of addiction. Addiction is focused on self; recovery is focused on others and God. Not that addicts are selfish, but just that we may have some bad habits of focusing on ourselves too much, which fuels our addiction to porn. When in porn recovery, we are working to replace some of our self-centered habits with ‘others-centered’ and God-centered habits. I’m constantly working on this everyday myself, and need reminders all the time.
Hope these teachings help you quit porn, my friend.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with Porn
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More Episodes
No More Desire
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When you slip up with porn addiction, are you able to bounce back? Or do you spiral?
Is a slip a learning experience for you? Or does it come out of nowhere and you have no clue how to prevent it in the future?
Today, I’ll give you the formula for turning a slip or relapse - what can be a hopeless, negative experience - into a springboard for recovery. So you can use it to actually help you get clean and quit porn for good. You’ll learn 5 steps to bounce back after a slip/relapse with pornography.
A slip, if dealt with the right way, can teach you a lot. But you need to change the way you approach it.
If you typically go into a “wo is me”, hopeless, victimhood mentality - which is easy to do and totally understandable - then a slip cannot help you.
But, if you practice shifting your mindset and taking action, then you can come out of a slip stronger and more capable than ever.
Not an easy thing to do. But possible.
I spent years slipping and relapsing. I remember the discouragement, the darkness, the feeling of being filthy, unworthy, and ashamed. It SUCKS.
But what’s strange is that all of those feelings of being filthy, unworthy, and ashamed ultimately did not help me stop watching porn. They drove me back to it.
Because the addict brain values intensity - positive or negative - and it will be drawn back to whatever is intense.
That’s why it’s important that we practice dealing with slips in a new, productive, and powerful way.
Learn the 5 steps to turn a slip/relapse into a learning experience
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
Mindset Shift: 3 Thought Strategies to Beat Porn Addiction
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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Do you have an issue with porn addiction and video game addiction?
If so, you’re not alone, my friend. I used to have both of these addictions, and I’ve known many men (and some women) who have struggled with these as well.
Video games and porn go hand-in-hand.
And I’m not talking about the simple fact that video games have sexual content in them sometimes - perfect, animated women that defy reality. That’s triggering (obviously), but I’m talking about something much deeper.
In this episode, we’re going to talk about how playing video games can make you more susceptible to porn addiction. And we’ll talk about some strategies to minimize or quit playing video games so that you can make it easier to quit porn.
We’ve talked about pleasure conditioning in previous episodes. This is the concept that the more high stimulation, low effort activities you participate in, the more susceptible you will be to pornography addiction (or any addiction for that matter).
At the same time, the more high effort, high reward activities you participate in, the more susceptible you will be to addiction recovery.
In order to break free of porn addiction, we need to fill our lives with meaning. We need to break the habit of treating life as if we are to “consume it upon [our] lusts”.
But this is easier said than done, right? Most of us addicts, as far as I’ve seen, genuinely want to be good people and do good things. We just have this monkey on our back that we can’t seem to shake.
In today’s episode, I’m going to teach you how to shake off the monkey.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
Take it Easy and Overcome Porn Addiction
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
Mindset Shift: 3 Thought Strategies to Beat Porn Addiction
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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Do you ever feel high-strung? Do you ever have spinning or obsessive thoughts? Do you ever feel unable to quiet your mind and just relax?
To overcome porn addiction, we need to learn to “take it easy”. But what does that even mean? How do we do that, and how does it help with porn addiction?
Listen to today’s episode to find out.
For those who feel like they have a non-stop mind that never quiets, especially during the winter months when they go through seasonal mood challenges, I wanted to share some things that I’ve learned over the years to help with this.
Addiction, in some ways, comes as the result of a chaotic mind. We face stress, high expectations and pressure we place on ourselves, worry about what others think of us, concern that we’re not enough for God, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, OCD, judgment of ourselves and others, shame (the fear that we’re not good enough), loneliness, pride (thinking we know best or that we need to do things on our own).
All of these things can contribute to pornography addiction. To stop watching porn, we need to learn how to quiet the mind and take it easy. But this is not just as simply as kicking back with a cold one and not worrying about anything.
No. That’s not it.
Peace, well-being, and recovery are just on the other side of learning to let go and be present. You can do this just like anyone else can. I’ll teach you some keys for doing this.
Listen to the episode.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
How to Stay Clean During Winter and the Holidays
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
Mindset Shift: 3 Thought Strategies to Beat Porn Addiction
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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Do you have incessant cravings for porn lately? In this episode, you'll learn 3 Mindset Strategies to Beat Porn Addiction.
Do you feel like once you’ve started craving you have no choice but to give in to porn addiction eventually? Even if you make it a day, a week, or a month, does failure seem inevitable?
You want to stop so bad, but you’ve lost hope.
I felt this way for years. Once momentum was moving me towards pornography addiction, I knew eventually I’d give in at some point.
It took me years to learn how to quit porn. It wasn’t just a matter of stopping; instead, my mindset had to change completely.
To stop watching porn I needed to adopt new resolutions: continuous mental practices that kept me in the right mindset to stay sober.
To overcome porn addiction, you don’t need to simply “want it bad enough” or just “try harder”.
You need to know HOW to try.
Today, I’m going to teach you G.A.P. It’s 3 mindset strategies to help you beat porn addiction.
Listen to the episode to learn these 3 mindset strategies that help you quit for good.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?
How to Stay Clean During Winter and the Holidays
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
A Change of Heart
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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How do I come out of an argument with my spouse and NOT relapse? For many of the men that I’ve spoken to, they can get really triggered to go to their porn addiction after an argument or a fight with their spouse. It’s super common.
Today, I want to talk about why fights or arguments can be so triggering for us to go look at porn - leading to slips and relapses - and how we can better handle the shame, anger, and intense emotions that might come after a fight, so we can stop watching porn.
We can not only come out on the other side clean and sober, but heal our relationship with our wife or significant other at the same time.
I’ll teach you a 3-letter acronym that gives you a step-by-step process for how to do this.
Listen to the episode to learn this 3-step process for staying clean after fights and arguments.
So, let’s pretend that you’ve just had a heated argument with your spouse. You both acted bull-headed. You both said things that you probably didn’t mean. And you’re both worked up.
Maybe you’re even charged for more conflict if they say one more freaking thing that rubs you the wrong way…
Then, the addiction cravings come... Could be for porn, alcohol, food, video games, TV… Whatever it is, your mind wants to soothe or escape your difficult feelings through self-destructive methods.
STOP Right there!
This is the moment that you need to halt your trajectory that is leading to a relapse. Don’t wait. Don’t let craving turn into planning or deciding to give in to your pornography addiction. You need to step back and process through your feelings with God as your companion.
I’m going to give you 3 practical steps to do this, so you can quit porn and improve your relationship.
Those steps are S.I.R.
To find out what these 3 simple steps are, listen to the episode.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
How to Stay Clean During Winter and the Holidays
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
A Change of Heart
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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Do you feel like the holidays should be a happy time, but for you it’s a really triggering time for your addiction?
Do you feel like the winter drives you to engage with your pornography addiction or another addiction more, and that cravings are worse during the winter?
We’re going to talk about these things today, and some strategies you can use to stay clean and sober during the holidays, to overcome porn addiction long-term.
First, why can the holidays and winter time be so hard for some of us when it comes to addiction?
Holidays can be a reminder of a lot of stressful, painful times with familySeasonal Affective DisorderEat a lot of holiday treats and junk foodLess light outside, it’s coldAll of this can drive us to addiction. Remember that addiction is just a symptom of other underlying factors. If we want to quit porn, we need to understand these categories and seek to transform our mindset and lifestyle in order to lose our desire for addiction. Four categories:
MentalSpiritualPhysicalRelationalIf we get our lives into balance (get healthy) in these 4 areas, then we will be less prone to the desire for addiction. Addiction comes as a result of one or all of these being out of balance.
So, during the holidays, let’s talk about some things you can do mentally, spiritually, physically, and in your relationships to live with a sober mindset and lifestyle.
If you want to get rid of porn addiction for good, check out my porn recovery coaching program. Link below.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
4 Simple Practice to Overcome Addiction Cravings
Using Mindfulness to Overcome Addiction
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
A Change of Heart
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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When porn cravings hit, what do you do? Do you fight the porn addiction? Resist it? Try to just not think about it and distract yourself?
I’m here to tell you that none of these options work. At least not long-term. Willpower is finite. It runs out. To overcome porn addiction requires a completely different approach.
So what can you do instead? Today I’m going to give you 4 Simple Practices you can use when you face pornography addiction cravings.
So, imagine you’re experiencing an addiction craving or a trigger. What do you do? You need to build a habit of being aware of your mindset and what your brain is focused on. It’s easy to let your mind wander and fantasize before you even realize what’s happened. To get sober, you need to go from unconscious to conscious.
When we crave porn, drugs, alcohol - whatever it is - our limbic system, or the rewards-centered part of our brain is leading the show. We want to get our prefrontal cortex - the logical, moral director of our brain back online. In other words, we want to go from the “natural man” or “ego” running the show, to the soul or the light of Christ running the show.
To do this requires us to build new habits. It doesn’t come without effort on our part. But it isn’t about trying hard, it’s about trying right. It’s about centering our efforts on things that actually work.
Remember, porn addiction stems from resistance - our resistance to challenging emotions and to the truth within our souls that we want to live according to. We can’t quit porn by using the same mentality of resistance that got us there in the first place.
Instead, we build a mentality of acceptance - an acceptance that we’re addicted to porn? No. An acceptance of challenging emotions, pain, insecurities…and an acceptance of the truth within our souls that comes from God and acceptance of His love and help in all things - EVEN when we believe we don’t deserve it. We accept His grace to help us change. We surrender our weaknesses to Him.
So, what does this acceptance and surrender look like from a practical standpoint? We’re going to lay out 4 Simple Practices to help you get rid of porn addiction; practices that are aligned with this mentality of acceptance and surrender.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
What God Thinks of Porn Addicts
Living with Honesty and Accountability
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
A Change of Heart
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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What does God think of porn addicts?
As someone who struggles with porn addiction, do you ever feel like God is punishing you for your mistakes? Do you feel like He looks down on you?
You aren’t alone in these feelings. Pretty much every addict goes through them. Pretty much EVERY PERSON goes through them.
When we can’t quit porn, we often believe that God condemns us for the sin. That God wants to “strike us down”.
Now, I can’t speak for God, and I don’t intend to try, but I’ll share what truths I can as best I personally understand them at this point, and the things that have brought me hope.
I believe that by shifting your perspective on how God views pornography addiction - and all addiction in general - you will be far more able to overcome porn addiction, heal relationships, and transform bad habits into good ones.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
Living with Honesty and Accountability
Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
A Change of Heart
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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You’ve probably heard that mindfulness helps with addiction - being present, enjoying the moment, getting in tune with your senses.
But you’ve probably found it difficult to implement mindfulness in your daily life, and fail to see how using mindfulness to overcome addiction really works. I get that.
Today, I’m going to talk about discoveries that I’ve made about mindfulness for recovery, as well as some universal practices that I’ve seen work for others.
Before we get started, it’s important to understand that the way I teach porn addiction recovery has little to nothing to do with stopping the behavior itself. To quit porn, we focus not so much on stopping the addictive behavior as much as being good at a sport is about being fast. Being fast is certainly helpful, but if you don’t have the techniques, the practice, the mindset, it’s not going to get you very far.
Recovery is not about sobriety. It’s not about the number of days not acting out. It’s a way of life. It’s about your mental state, spiritual state, and physical state. Most of all it’s about your relationship with God, your Savior, and those around you - is your focus on self? Or is it on God and others?
Mindfulness is part of this. It is a mindset, a way of life. Most of all it is an awareness.
There are differing mindfulness practices for addiction recovery, but here’s how I see it - the best way I can sum it up:
Mindfulness is about being deeply accepting of your emotions, and remaining in the present moment.
That’s it.
How does this help with recovery? What I teach my clients is that addiction is a mindset of resistance and control… And recovery is a mindset of surrender and acceptance. Sounds counterintuitive, right? But this goes back to Buddhist teachings, Taoist teachings, it’s at the core of 12-step.
In order to recover, I need to stop resisting those difficult emotions that I’d rather not feel. I need to begin accepting myself as imperfect, accepting others as imperfect, and accept that life is never going to be the easy, effortless thing that my addict brain wishes it was. It’s always going to entail suffering - that’s what the Buddha taught “life is suffering”. But then, he also said that we transcend that suffering by releasing our resistance to it.
It doesn’t mean I won’t suffer, rather that suffering will no longer control me when I discontinue my attempts to escape from it. It will be far less intense when I embrace it, surrender to it.
Learn more in the episode.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now?
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
More EpisodesNo More Desire
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In this episode from the No More Desire Podcast, my friend John Canaan and I (Jake Kastleman) talk about overcoming the desire to control; putting aside the ego to improve marriage and relationships, overcome addictions, and just live an overall more excellent life!
John hits the nail on the head, talking about specific methods to heal marriage and relationships, helping you remove ego and put your spouse first. John and I also discuss God, addiction recovery, and surrendering to Christ.
John has been doing personal coaching and speaking on marriage for over 20 years now. He is truly inspired!
Sign up for John Canaan’s personal coaching, seminars, or workshops: https://www.pathofpeace.org/
Learn more about the No More Desire Addiction Recovery: https://www.nomoredesire.com/
No More Desire Podcast Episodes: https://www.nomoredesire.com/podcast
Episode 29: A Change of Heart - https://www.nomoredesire.com/podcast/episode/7e76a232/ep-29-a-change-of-heart
Ep. 28: My Conversion & Recovery Story | How I Quit Porn with God's Help
https://www.nomoredesire.com/podcast/episode/7b6af893/ep-28-my-conversion-and-recovery-story-or-how-i-quit-porn-with-gods-help
No More Desire Addiction Recovery Coaching: https://www.nomoredesire.com/coaching
No More Desire
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I was talking with a friend of mine the other day - a fellow recovering addict - and I was sharing about my past with addiction and how social anxiety was a big struggle in my life and actually fueled my addiction - in other words, I went to addiction in order to cope with the immense amount of nervousness and fear I felt in relationships and social situations.
I told this friend that I had some mental techniques and spiritual methods that I could teach her to help her overcome social anxiety and that I could share those with her.
But I also know, from personal experience and from listening to others, that neither I nor she are isolated in the struggles we’ve had with both social anxiety and addiction.
Addicts often struggle with social anxiety. Especially porn addicts. Do all of us addicts? No, of course not, but there is a connection between social anxiety and addiction to whatever degree.
So, for my friend, and all of those other people out there struggling with social anxiety, I wanted to make this episode for you.
What I’m going to share is based on principles of psychology as well as principles of faith in God.
Most of what I’ll teach you are thought patterns and mental habits you can adopt to change the way that you think about yourself, other people, and relationships so that you can manage and decrease social anxiety.
These are mental tools that you can use any time, anywhere, and they take PRACTICE. The more you repeat them, the more you will train your brain to think differently and form new habits.
Because something you need to realize is that social anxiety is, to an extent, simply a mental habit. It was formed most likely in childhood - due to experiences, and your mental reactions to those experiences - as well as your biological disposition to anxiety and fearful thinking - and just because you have a disposition to that thinking, does not mean you’re doomed to it. You CAN heal social anxiety. It just takes time, repetition, and reliance on God. He can teach you and help you train your mind to think in a new way, if you will believe that it’s possible and work towards it one small step at a time.
So, let’s dive in.
Mental Technique 1 - 100 Interaction
Mental Technique 2 - Separate Feelings
Mental Technique 3 - See You in Eternity
Mental Technique 4 - From Me to We
Mental Technique 5 - No one is one thing all of the time
Bonus Mental Technique: Listen to the episode to find out
DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
Defining Addiction and Recovery PDFPorn Recovery Coaching for Christians
Other Episodes to help you stop porn addiction:
To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple Daily Practice to Overcome Porn Addiction
My Conversion and Porn Addiction Recovery Story
A Change of Heart
More EpisodesNo More Desire
- Visa fler
