Avsnitt
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In this episode Rachael reflects on her parenthood journey, and adventures with her partner Tristan and their two children Eloise and Dion.
Oof! This one is such a beauty. Rach weaves such magic with her words, so perfectly capturing the beauty, brutality and huge transformation that comes with the season. Rach covers so much ground in this episode, managing as always to shed light on those aspects of motherhood that so often remain unspoken with such warmth and generosity. We talk about creating your village and identifying your kinship support network, her two very different birth experiences, the wild and wondrous nature of postpartum, sexuality and motherhood, ritual, ceremony and matresence.
This is one you are going to come back to again and again. I am such a huge fan of everything Rachael creates, and it was such an honour to be able to sit with her and listen to her story.You can connect with Rach on the gram (truly, a must!) @the_rachael_rose and via her website.
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In this episode Jordan shares her parenthood journey, and reflects on life with her husband D’Arcy and their daughters Ainsley and Billi. Jordan also happens to be my wonderful sister in law. It was such a delight to sit with Jordan and listen to her story – so much of our time is spent on video calls with the cousins catching up, so to snag this time together felt extra precious. Jordan speaks really openly and honestly about her mental health journey, generously sharing an insight in to her experience navigating the system over the last five years. She also talks really honestly about body image, building a kinship support network and backing yourself and committing to your dreams. This episode is such a gift, and a testament to Jordan’s resilience.
You can connect with Jordan on the gram @womenswellnesscoaching -
Saknas det avsnitt?
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In this week’s episode Katrina shares her parenthood journey and reflects on adventures with her husband Brendan and their children Reggie and Millie.
It was such a delight to hear Kat’s story. Kat speaks with so much warmth and generosity about the joys and challenges of parenthood. I know that like me, you will be nodding along as she speaks about experiencing mum guilt and mum rage. I loved this chat – it is bursting with love and reassurance, and serves as a timely reminder that we all need in this season, and throughout all of the seasons of parenthood. Katrina talks about the journey to conceiving Reggie, her two different births, her mental health, asking for help, and her two very different postpartum experiences.
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In this week’s episode Beth shares her parenthood journey, and reflects on adventures with her partner Tristan, and their daughter Poppy.
Beth is a midwife and childbirth educator, and the creator of Power Birth. Beth’s Instagram @birthwithbeth_ is bursting with reliable information and resources to help you navigate pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
Beth speaks with such warmth and generosity about her pregnancy, meeting Poppy, and life as a family of three. Beth reflects of the sheer joy and wonder of parenthood, whilst acknowledging the heartbreak of navigating this season in lockdown without her family.
This episode will have you laughing along, and give you prickly eyes – we talk about conscious conception, navigating pregnancy sickness, preparing for birth, postpartum planning, matrescence and the wild and wondrous adventure that is parenthood.
This is one that you are going to want to come back to over and over. Here’s Beth!
You can listen to Beth’s birth story on Australian Birth Stories.
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Hello there! It is so lovely to be back podding with you! Today’s episode is extra special as I am joined by so many amazing guests. It’s been a heck of a two years, hasn’t it? In September, when things were feeling particularly grey, I asked people to share the snippets of magic and joy filling their days. The messages and pictures that have landed in my DM since that call out have been such a beacon of love and light for me.
Thank you to you, for being here. Thank you for sending me pictures of your garden, your lockdown projects and updates as you get to hang with your very own kin. And an extra special thank you to the guests here today – your messages have made me laugh and cry. Thank you for so perfectly capturing this time.
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Oof its been a big month... Today the divine Julia is guiding us through a yoga nidra. You may recognise Julia's voice and calming force from Episode 16. This is half an hour just for you. Bravo for finding the time to slip a pocket of rest into your day. Find somewhere cosy and comfy - you might have a yoga mat, you might like to head to your bed or to your couch, or to build yourself a little pillow and blanket nest. Settle right on in. You are doing a freaking amazing job.
Julia is trained pre and postnatal, yin and vinyasa yoga teacher. You can find all of Julia's beautiful offerings on her instagram @yogawithjuliarose
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In this week’s episode Ash shares her parenthood journey and reflects on adventures with her partner Owen and their son Remy.
Ash and Owen’s love story has seen them journey across the globe. They were living in New Zealand when they found out that they were pregnant. Ash speaks so beautifully about this time – the sheer excitement, and the unexpected intensity of the need to nest.
At 22 weeks, Ash and Owen arrived back in Australia, after deciding to move back to the community they had created in Darwin. It was in Darwin that Ash birthed Remy at home in their living room in a water birth that felt like the perfect fit for their family.
Ash speaks openly and honestly about feelings of anxiety in her pregnancy, and the intensity of the postpartum period.
'It was just an incredible experience. One I will never forget…that birth and the intensity of it. And the intensity of that period afterwards, getting straight into the nitty gritty of motherhood. The demands of that period. Physically and mentally... I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t know that I needed help either.'
At around four months postpartum, Ash developed De Quervain's Syndrome. De Quervain’s Syndrome occurs when the tendons around the base of the thumb are irritated and constricted. It is associated with repetitive movements, like picking up a baby.
‘I couldn’t even hold a spoon without pain, let alone holding Remy… I was told do not pick up your baby, as if that was even an option for me… I called my Mum in tears... She got on a red eye flight... She was literally my hands for two weeks.'
Ash speaks with such warmth and generosity about the different types of support all newborn families need – emotionally and physically. Even with a village around her, Ash shares that she found it really challenging to realise that she deserved help. We talk about postpartum planning, the importance of a kinship network, the intense transformation that is matrescence, and asking for the help we want and need.
Ash speaks about learning about matrescence from the amazing Amanda. You can connect with Amanda @ourfourthtrimesterIt was such an honour to listen to Ash’s story. You can see photos of Ash and her gorgeous family on Instagram @kinbycharlotte and over at the In Your Own Kin website.
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In this week’s episode Beth shares her parenthood journey, and life with her husband Rob and their daughter Emily.
In so many ways this episode feels like the love letter all of us need to receive in those hazy first few weeks and months. Beth speaks openly and honestly about feeling inundated with advice and information, the shift that came with tuning out from the noise, the importance of finding what worked for her and her baby, and just how important a kinship support network is.
Beth speaks with such warmth and generosity about her early postpartum journey, sharing ‘we often hear the happy stories of the early days and the newborn bubble and you know how it is such a special time. I look back on that newborn bubble and I don’t think of it as a special time, you know? And it is sad. It’s sad that I lost that, but it has shaped the mother I have become.’
We talk about breastfeeding challenges and wins, biologically normal infant sleep, and finally realizing that no one will ever know your babe as well as you do.
Oof! Truly, this is the one I would send back in time to myself on those that felt extra grey. It was such an honour to listen to Beth’s journey.
You can see photos of Beth and her beatiful family @kinbycharlotte and the In Your Own Kin website.
You can follow Beth's new biz babe on Instagram @rhythmpostpartum -
In this week’s episode Emily shares her parenthood journey, and adventures with her husband Tom and their children Jimmy and Jack.
Emily reflects on life preparenthood. Emily and Tom spoke about the possibility of having children when they were house sitting Emily’s boss’ house. A few beers later and they had made a baby! Emily reflects on her two pregnancies and births.
Emily speaks with such warmth and generosity about her postpartum experience – sharing both the wonderous joy and dark moments. Emily speaks openly and honestly about sleep deprivation and her journey with postpartum anxiety, and shares strategies that helped her navigate this challenging time.
Emily speaks so beautifully about her active decision to speak openly and honestly about parenthood, and how this has allowed her to foster deeper connections and build community. Emily and Tom spoke about the possibility of having another child, something that Emily admits she felt quite nervous about. In the end, it was the deeper connections that she had formed over her first three years as a parent that gave her the confidence to take the leap again.
This is such a beauty! You can connect with Em on Insta @emily.the.doula and via her website emilythedoula.com.au
You can see photos of Em and her beatiful family @kinbycharlotte and the In Your Own Kin website.
If you or someone you love is seeking mental health support, you can reach out to
@pandanational
@cope.org.au
@lifelineaustralia
@beyondblueofficial
@gidgetfoundation
your GP, Family Health Nurse or someone you trust for support. -
In this week’s episode Emma shares her parenthood journey, and reflects on life with her partner Ludi and their children Archer and Toa.
Emma speaks with such warmth and generosity about parenthood in all of its beautiful, messy, wonderous, hard glory. ‘It is so beautiful, and so hard.’ Emma and Ludi met while living in Samoa. Emma shares their discussions about the possibility of starting a family, and the excitement and shock of finding out she was pregnant just a few weeks later. Emma speaks candidly about the identity shifts she experienced in becoming a parent, sharing that in many ways parenthood was the perfect excuse to live the quieter life she was wanting.
In the final week’s of pregnancy Emma returned to Brisbane. Hearing Emma talk about those first few moments with Arch will make your eyes prickle.
Emma and Archer stayed in Brisbane for just over a month before heading back to Samoa. Emma reflects on the opportunity for a slower life living in Samoa, as well as the challenges of life away from her broader kinship network.
After another two years in Samoa, Emma returned home to Brisbane. Emma speaks so openly and honestly about this time and the feeling of being held and supported.
Emma and Ludi decided to extend on their family after nearly six years, with a lot of gentle yet persistent nudging from Arch. Emma reflects on the differences in her postpartum experiences, and life as a family of four.
This is such a gorgeous episode! You can see more photos of Emma on Instagram @kinbycharlotte and on the In Your Own Kin website.
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In this week's episode Rafferty shares their parenthood journey. Raff's story is raw and so powerful, it was such an honour to listen to their journey so far.
Raff reflects on life pre parenthood 'I had spent a lot of time trying to fit in. I was quite isolated, even though I was surrounded by people…’ Raff was extremely unwell during their first pregnancy with undiagnosed hyperemesis gravidarum ‘none of it was happening consciously, it was just survival mode from the very beginning.’ Raff reflects on their birth and speaks so powerfully about the care and support all families need and deserve in this season. ‘I was not treated as a divine being giving birth as a rite of passage… It was just not how it could have been.’ Raff was pregnant again with their second son at 16 weeks postpartum ‘I think part of that was desperately wanting a do over.’
Raff speaks about our need to come around new families, to shower them with the support and care they need, and the profound transformation that comes with this season. ‘Motherhood cracked me open, woke me up and it was beautiful... but also shocking and alarming and disturbing. Becoming a parent was a bit of a wakeup call to myself that I was not living my best life or in alignment with who I actually am.'
Raff speaks openly about their mental health journey. Raff’s experience highlights the opportunities for growth and improvement in the system. Raff connected in with professional support and shares this needed to come with practical, emotional and spiritual support. ‘Nothing actually changed... All that changed was that I was taking meds now, but my support structures didn’t change.’
‘I do want to be really clear. I loved being a mum. I love being a mum. I love it. I love my children. And I fucking hate doing it with so little support.’
When Raff was 28 weeks pregnant with their third child, their ex husband cheated on them. ‘That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was hugely traumatic on its own, but on top of everything else I just hit I downward spiral.’ Raff talks about leaving, and being truly held and seen by their kin. ‘I had freedom to meet myself again. Underneath all the rubble of fuckery of putting everybody else before myself. I really had to figure out who the fuck was actually under there... I feel very blessed that through the doula community I have found a lot of connection and solidarity with other mothers who have been deeply affected by mothering. They are the women that raised me. And held me. And showed me that there was a light at the end of this.’
Raff reflects of family life now with their three children and partner Theo. Listening to Raff speak about co creating a life with Theo will give you all of the prickly eyes 'we are wildly in love... we find ways to keep coming together through it all.'
You can connect with Raff on instagram @veggiedaddy.doulaservices Raff's website is live now and you can access all of their offerings at veggiedaddy.com.au
You can see photos of Raff @kinbycharlotte and the In Your Own Kin website.
If you or someone you love is seeking mental health support, you can reach out to
@pandanational
@cope.org.au
@lifelineaustralia
@beyondblueofficial
@gidgetfoundation
your GP, Family Health Nurse or someone you trust for support. -
In this week's episode Teagan shares her parenthood journey and life with her husband Aaron and their son Xavier.
Teagan talks about life pre parenthood, and the decision to start a family. Teagan was very excited and shocked to discover that she was pregnant only weeks after having her Mirena removed on their six month wedding anniversary. 'It was a shocking surprise for both of us, but obviously a very welcome one. It took us a little bit to get our heads around.'
Teagan felt quite well during her first and second trimesters. In her third trimester, Teagan began to experience dizziness and fainting. She raised this with her care team, and they ran some tests, and they picked up that she had a tachycardia, and she was referred on for an ECG. The ECG did pick up the tachycardia, but the team said that her symptoms were in line with pregnancy symptoms. They did request an echocardiogram, but the waitlist meant that Teagan got that a month after Xavier's birth day.
Teagan is an avid Australian Birth Stories listener, and spent a lot of time during her pregnancy preparing for the birth and immediate postpartum period. Teagan and Aaron knew that Xavier was in a breech position, and that a vaginal breech birth wasn't possible at their local hospital. Teagan was feeling really confident and planning for a positive caesarean section. 'I wanted to mentally prepare for a really positive c section if that was to be the case. That was a real shift for me. Trying to keep open that he may flip, but as those weeks ticked by, I shifted to finding really positive c section stories, and planning for what we could do afterwards like lots of skin to skin to make that as positive as possible.'
The evening before the birth day Teagan and Aaron celebrated with a special dinner together. At this stage, they were already in lockdown. ' We had a really lovely meal delivered to our door, and had candles going. I look back on that night really fondly. It was a really beautiful time. We were so excited.'
Teagan speaks so openly about her birth day, reflecting on the memories she has. During her planned caesarean section Teagan began to feel really unwell. It was later discovered that she had peripartum cardiomyopathy, which is a form of heart failure. Teagan speaks so openly and honestly about the challenges she overcame in the coming weeks and months. Her story is raw and powerful, and her strength and resilience shines through. Teagan was flown from Broken Hill to Sydney with Xavier, where she stayed in a critical care unit for two weeks.
Teagan speaks with such warmth and generosity about her challenging hospital stay, her mental health journey, the power of connecting in with a support network, and family life now as a mama to a toddler. This episode is so beautiful, and it was such an honour to listen to Teagan's story.
You can see photos of Teagan and her family on instagram @kinbycharlotte, and on the In Your Own Kin website
Juju Sundin's Birth Skills
Physio Laura
Australian Breastfeeding Association
Gidget Foundation -
In this week's episode Alice shares her parenthood journey and reflects on life with her husband Dave and their son Hugo.
Alice found out she was pregnant after a dinner with a friend. 'I had sort of convinced myself that I was pregnant, but I was like nah I am just being silly.' On the way home from dinner Alice picked up a test and couldn't resist the temptation when she was home. Alice reflects on seeing the positive result 'it was very exciting, neither of us could really believe it.'
Alice shares her pregnancy - reflecting on how she was feeling physically and emotionally, becoming the most active she had ever been, finding a work life balance, and sharing the journey with her kinship network. In the final two months of her pregnancy Alice developed pelvic girdle pain 'I just felt a bit sorry for myself, really...' Alice had planned to work for as long as possible to save all her family leave, a plan that changed with the pelvic girdle pain. Alice finished work, and after a whole lot of encouragement from her mum began swimming - something that immediately eased her symptoms. 'It was honestly one of the best months of my life... I was reading... I was swimming. I was sitting in cafes...'
Alice and Dave had a dress up party the day after Hugo's predicted date. Alice resisted planning her outfit as she was sure that she would be in the babe bubble by then, a feeling she had right through until that afternoon. They were foraging for olive branches for their outfits hours before the party, and even packed the hospital bag in the car. 'I remember feeling period pain like cramping in the car... At the party I was up and about... eating a lot of food - it was the most amazing food!' Alice got home, went to sleep, and woke up a few hours later with regular contractions. 'I must have just had a lot of oxytocin flowing courtesy of all of those canapes at the party.'
Alice speaks so beautifully about the birth day - going in to the zone, reflecting on her choices of health care providers, the intensity of staring in to Dave's eyes in those last few moments, and the feeling of meeting Hugo. Oof! Prickly eyes.
Alice speaks so openly and honestly about her experience of matrescence. Alice reflects on whiteboarding their parenthood journey prior to becoming pregnant. 'It's hilarious to me now.. And it is particularly hilarious given how much my goals have changed. It was very much done from the perspective of we will slot the baby in here, and that is going to be fantastic, and I will go on being the person I was always going to be and we will just have a baby along for the ride...' Alice reflects on the identity shifts that have come for her with parenthood, ‘it is just major… I feel unrecognisable in so many ways… In a good way… But it’s hard.’You can connect with Alice on Insta @villageforme and see all of her gorgeous offerings at villageforme.com
This episode is an absolute must listen wherever you are on your parenthood journey. I really hope you enjoy this week's show. You can see more photos of Alice and her gorgeous family on Insta @kinbycharlotte and on the In Your Own Kin website
Tales from the Fourth Trimester
Julia Jones, including the link to Julia's podcast -
In this week's episode I share some updates from my family, some exciting kin news and discounts, and invite you to get grounded.
You can find all of my offerings over at kinbycharlotte.com and via my insta @kinbycharlotte I offer in home and online packages - because every family deserves to be nourished and nurtured. I also offer online planning sessions - because when it comes to parenthood, the best laid plan is the one that grows with you.
I hope you enjoy this week's show. Go gently, Char x -
In this week's episode Julia shares her parenthood journey, and reflects on life with Cam and their sons Emmett and Sonny.
Julia speaks with such warmth and generosity. Julia reflects on the sparkly moments - meeting her babes, navigating life as a family of four, and her commitment to sharing her love of life long learning in her children. Julia also shares the moments of her journey that have been grey - experiencing two miscarriages, a loss that she described as completely heartwrenching, the challenges that came with learning to breastfeed and tuning out from the noise, and the haze of the first six weeks following Emmett's birth. This episode has it all - matrescence, welcoming a new love into your family, homebirth, and relinquishing expectations and tuning in to the twists and turns of your new self.
Julia is trained pre and postnatal, yin and vinyasa yoga teacher. You can find all of Julia's beatiful offerings on her instagram @yogawithjuliarose
Julia shares so many excellent health care providers in this episode:
Rhea Dempsey
Fiona Harrison
Juju Sundin
Amberley Harris Listen to Amberley's epsiode here
Melanie Mackintosh
MAMA
If you would like to see some photos of Julia and her gorgeous family head on over to @kinbycharlotte -
In this week's episode Liz shares her parenthood journey, and life with her husband Leigh and their daughter Sienna.
On a weekend away in Red Hill, Liz had an inkling that she might be pregnant. Liz reflects on navigating this transition, sharing the beautiful words of her GP "that whilst the pregnancy wasn't planned it was welcomed." Liz speaks so beautifully her first scan, and this being a big turning point in helping her imagine this new little soul. "It wasn't that I didn't want this to be the case, it was just that it took me a long time to come to terms with that it was happening now."
Liz decided to opt for a private midwife for her care. At 20 weeks she received a message from her hospital asking if she would be interested in having a student midwife from the hospital support her as well. Liz later shares that this was one of the most important decisions in her pregnancy.
Due to changing covid restrictions Liz had to make the challenging decision to change her care provider for the birth day. At 37 weeks, Liz was at an active birthing class when someone asked her where she was birthing. " And I said, well actually I don't know where I'm birthing..."
Liz pushed back on an induction and agreed to monitoring every second day to give her body the chance to go in to labour. It was at a monitoring appointment that Liz was told that the amount of amniotic fluid around her baby was dropping, and that she would be induced that day. Liz speaks so openly about her birth day, sharing her experience of induction with a balloon catheter, going in to herself during labour, meeting Sienna and experiencing a postpartum haemorrhage.
Three weeks after Sienna was born, at a check up with her midwife, Liz discovered that her blood pressure was elevated. Liz's midwife readmitted her to the hospital to receive medication. There Liz noticed that she had a large red patch on one of her breasts. She checked in with a midwife, who said it might be mastitis and issued a script for antibiotics if needed. Liz was discharged from hospital, and that night began to feel really unwell. Within the next 24 hours, Liz developed mastitis. Liz hadn't been told or recommended by her health care providers to take probiotics at the same time as antibiotics, and went on to develop breast and nipple thrush. " I just remember walking along the street and my tshirt chafing so painfully... It was so painful that I almost couldn't walk." As Liz had breast and nipple thrush, Sienna developed oral thrush. Liz reflects on the four month journey that followed.
Not long after, Liz noticed some lumps in her breast. She flagged these with her GP that recommend she get screened for breast cancer. Liz didn't feel like this was the next best step, and felt as though the lumps were associated with her mastitis. Liz's private midwife referred her to a women's health physio to do ultrasound on the lumps. "It was game changing..."
Liz speaks with such warmth and generosity about her journey, matrescence, and finding the time to foster the parts of herself beyond being a mama. This episode is packed to the brim with great tips and recommendations:
Amy O'Brien Reverence Story
Thompson Method
MCHN Line (Victoria) 13 22 29
If you choose to chest or breastfeed the Australian Breastfeeding Association is an excellent resource, and I recommend having a box of Qiara on hand just in case!
Head on over to @kinbycharlotte to see some -
In this week's episode Lauren shares her parenthood journey. Lauren reflects on life with her husband Tyson, and their twin daughters Poppy and Layla.
At their dating scan, Lauren and Tyson were told that they were having twins. Poppy and Layla are MCDA (monochorionic diamniotic) twins, which means they each had their own amniotic sacs, and shared a placenta.
"It had become a running joke... Tyson kept saying imagine if there are two and I was like honey, let's not even throw that in to the mix. We went to the scan and I just thought it was two images of the same thing and he said "oh my god there are two", and I was like enough already, it's not funny. I looked at the ultrasound lady and she held up two fingers."
Lauren talks about her pregnancy as both mentally and physically challenging. Lauren speaks so beautifully about this time as being bittersweet - overwhelming joy, tinged with the anxiety and worry of what would or could be.
Early on, Lauren connected in with a community, finding solace in other's families stories through Parents of Multiples Australia and by reading blogs and connecting to other families online.
"The way that I prepared myself was to seek other people's stories. The more that I saw other stories that started off scary in NICU and then had a happy ending really prepared me."
At 27 weeks Lauren had her baby shower. The next day she was experiencing immense pain. Following a trip to emergency Lauren was told that it was time to finish work, but that the pain she was experiencing was to be expected in a twin pregnancy. This went on for a few days before Lauren and Tyson headed back to emergency. This time Lauren was admitted. By now, Lauren had been in pain for 9 days. The following morning Lauren had a scheduled ultrasound. It was here that Lauren and Tyson discovered that the twins had twin to twin transfusion.
"I just felt validated - finally someone was acknowledging that the pain I was in was a lot more than just being pregnant with twins.... I asked what does this mean? She said it means your babies are being born today."
Lauren was 29 weeks and 1 day. The ultrasound was at 10:40 am and the girls were born 5 hours later.
"Poppy was the recipient twin, so she was the one who got everything so they were really worried about her little heart. The minute she was born Tyson cut her cord and she was taken away, so I didn't get to see her. Layla - they brought her up to me and I was able to give her a little kiss. She was just so tiny! She was 1kg. I remember Tyson with tears streaming down his cheeks just saying "she's so small, she's so small"..."
Once the girls were born they were rushed to NICU. Lauren speaks so courageously and generously about this time - the joy, the heartbreak, and the power of having a kinship network to support you and to bear witness to your parenting journey.
Poppy was able to come home at 7 weeks, and a week later at 8 weeks, Layla joined. Hearing Lauren talk about their first Christmas together will give you prickly eyes.
Lauren speaks so openly and honestly about the joys and challenges of parenthood. She reflects on relationship changes, navigating twin life, her identity shift, and finding time to connect with your village. This is such a gorgeous episode!
You can connect with Lauren on Instagram @thetwinclairs where Lauren shares authentic motherhood musings, recipes, and her daily joys as Mum to Poppy & Layla. You can also find Lauren over @foodiemelbourne her OG account, and dream of the Melbourne food scene. -
This is part 2 of Jess' beautiful story.
At 36 weeks Jess' midwife flagged mild polyhydramnios - an increased volume of amniotic fluid. Jess felt really supported by her midwife, who walked her through what this might mean, and reassured her that this could be monitored "and that we didn't have to have this define any of our choices right now, or in labour yet."
Jess reflects on her relationship with her midwife, and having her Mum, Nan and sister at home with her, and the power in being completely supported and held. Jess went into labour, "I didn't know at the time... I had only contractions at night when I laid down." This continued for three days before Jess and her team decided to head to the hospital. During monitoring the team didn't pick up any contractions, and Jess was about to head home when during a check her midwife let her know she was 8cm dilated.
After a few hours Jess and her support team decided that the next best step was a caesarean section. Hearing Jess speak about those first few moments with Archie will give you prickly eyes.
Jess reflects on her postpartum period - feeling both incredibly supported, and "not like herself". It highlights the difference holistic care can have on families, what support can really look like, and that it does in fact take a village to raise a babe and hold a family.Jess has kindly shared some resources that supported her throughout her parenting journey:
La Leche League NZ for breastfeeding supportmidwife.org.nz for miscarriage information and supportmentalhealth.org.nz for postnatal supportFacebook/Instagram positive, inclusive support:
Breastfeeding Support SouthlandBreastfedNZLaid back lactationOurmamavillageRaisedGoodIf you or someone you love is experiencing pregnancy loss, Pink Elephants helps those experiencing early pregnancy loss feel cared for, protected and understood. Pink Elephants provides resources, information and peer-support. Pink Elephants offers a single source of specialist support, whenever and wherever it’s needed — for anyone who has directly experienced it, for family and friends, corporate partners or healthcare professionals seeking proven ways to help.
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In this week's episode Jess shares her parenting journey. Jess lives in New Zealand on the South Island "in the deep south" with her husband Jamie, their son Archie and two dogs Macey and Mo.
Jess and Jamie got married at a surprise ceremony on New Year's Eve in 2015. Following their honeymoon they moved to New Zealand. Jess reflects on the newlywed bubble and the massive shift in their life and priorities in the first year of marriage. "It was my first reckoning - wow we have actually done this, and now we need to... make it work. Yeah it was hard - but we were just rolling with it... We can do this... And we did!"
In 2017 they decided to start trying for a baby. "I was always of the mindset it had to be both of us... It has to come from a place of mutual understanding." Jess found out she was pregnant after a weekend away with friends. "I just had this overwhelming feeling..."
At the 12 week scan, Jess and Jamie were told that their baby didn't have a heartbeat. Jess speaks about how devastating this was, compounded by the challenges of navigating an unfamiliar system. "...Being in New Zealand, and I had made this place my home. I made sure that I always knew that.. I am really conscious of calling this place my home. This is where we were making our home. This is where we were making our family."
"I'm usually the one supporting other people... Whereas at this time I had no idea what to do. Jamie had no idea what to do."
Jess' story is raw and hugely powerful. It highlights the opportunities for improvement in the system. It highlights the power of language, the importance for health care providers to ask the right questions, offer timely information, and support. It highlights the importance of allowing families to honour their babies.
In March 2018 Jess found out she was pregnant. Jess reflects on the emotions she felt throughout her second pregnancy - the joy and the dread. Jess worked with the same midwife from her first pregnancy as her LMC (Lead Maternity Carer). Jess speaks so beautifully about the model of care in New Zealand - the power of being able to ask questions and form a relationship with your care provider from pregnancy in to postpartum.
Head to part 2 to hear what happened next! -
In this week's episode we are joined by the divine Peta. Peta shares her parenthood journey, and adventures with her husband Sam and their three gorgeous children Kiasi, Eva and Mika.
Peta and Sam had had many conversations about their dreams of starting a family. Following a a dinner with friends where they announced their pregnancy, Peta and Sam decided to take the leap and try to fall pregnant at the same time. They were both completely ecstatic to discover they were pregnant the next month. Peta reflects on her pregnancy, and the wonder of watching her bump grow.
Peta's first labour began whilst out at a family dinner. Peta speaks so openly and honestly about her first birth day, sharing that it was both magical and traumatic. She reflects on the power of having her trusted support team surrounding her, drawing strength from her mother's encouragement, and the wonder of those first few moments with Kiasi.
Peta reflects on the power of conversations and story telling. Following the her first birth Peta was experiencing a dragging feeling that she assumed was a part of recovering from birth. Upon talking to her support network she decided to seek professional support, and discovered that she had a prolapse. Peta shares that her healing journey is ongoing, and hopes that by sharing her experience, others will feel safe to seek support as well. If you would like more information and support about prolapse please reach out to your GP, or a women's health physio. In episode 4 the amazing Bernadette from coreandfloorrestore shares her journey. B is a wealth of knowledge and a must follow on instagram.Peta and Sam have a huge support network that they drew strength from in their transition to parenthood. Peta reflects on the first few weeks of newborn haze, and the rollercoaster of emotions she felt in those first few weeks. Peta approached postpartum adamant that she wanted to breastfeed. Peta speaks so openly about trying to get breastfeeding to work for her and Kiasi, the power of language, and tuning in to your intuition and out from the noise. It is a beautiful reminder that no one will ever know you or your baby as well as you do.
Peta and Sam had dreamed about having three children. When Kiasi was 14 months Peta and Sam decided to extend their family whilst on holiday in Europe, and assumed that they would fall pregnant again quickly. After six months, Peta decided to check in with her GP. This marked the beginning of a journey that Peta describes as a really challenging period. Peta and Sam made the decision to try IVF. Peta speaks so openly and honestly about their journey - the challenges, the power of a support network that knows just what to say at the right time, and the sheer joy she felt when she saw the two lines on the test after their first round.
Peta also shares Eva and Mika's birth days. Peta's three very different birth experiences will each leave you with prickly eyes. Peta reflects on feeling more empowered to advocate for her wishes with confidence after each birth. Peta shares the joys and adventures of life as a family of five, finding the space to refill her cup, and the privilege of watching her babes grow and mature.
This is such a gorgeous episode! If you would like to see some photos of Peta and her family head on over to kinbycharlotte I would love to hear about your kinship network, and what support looks like for you x - Visa fler
