• There is a place life takes us sometimes. It’s dark, it’s lonely and it feels like we’re trapped at the bottom of a hole. It can be hard to get out, unless we remember one thing: the only way out is through.
    This week, Rachel has managed to see the light again after two weeks of ever present anxiety. Through what felt like utter failure, she realized something important. No matter how often she loses herself, and no matter how hard it is to get back, she never stops trying. Instead of giving up and drowning herself in ice cream and wine, she hugs her husband, cuddles her daughter, practices yoga, drinks tea, and walks outside in the sunshine. 
    Maybe this is the mark of real self-love. It’s not always butterflies and rainbows. It’s not quick fixes. It’s the fact that we stick with ourselves through the hard times. We don’t give up on ourselves. Today’s episode will give you a new way to measure your self-love, not in your supposed successes or failures, but in how often you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
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  • Today’s episode comes with no epiphanies. It’s just an honest, open sharing on anxiety when there is nothing else you can do. If you’ve ever had a tiny moment trigger a sea of anxiety, then you’ll know exactly what that feels like.
    This week, Rachel and her family are visiting friends on a beautiful island off the southern coast of Sweden. The sun is shining, summer is in full swing, and Rachel is surrounded by loved ones, good food, and beautiful scenery. But her anxiety has not let her enjoy any of it. After finding three ticks on her daughter, Rachel went into a full downward spiral worrying about her daughters health. Nothing has helped her break the surface as of yet.
    What can we do when there is nothing to do? Sometimes the answer is to be in the body, so the mind can follow. Sometimes the answer is to share. And sometimes the answer is a really long, understanding hug. Tune in today for a combination of all three.
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  • When you look back on your life, make sure you can say that you were there for it. You were present. You didn’t just move through the motions of life, doing what you were told and checking out when things got hard or boring. You felt it all. You experienced it all, from the mundane to the breathtaking. 
    This podcast episode begins with a short exercise to support the feelings in your heart right now, then Rachel dives into today’s topic - our presence. Over the course of our lives, our presence is shaped by so many things. Being told we are ‘bad’ as children and internalizing those emotions. Checking out as we complete our normal mundane tasks for the day. Or, finding ourselves overwhelmed by trying to keep it all together. For Rachel, this came to a cumulation this week after she checked out and was only brought back to earth by a crippling panic attack.
    The solution? Embrace your humanity! Love yourself - and that begins with understanding yourself. Learn the intricacies of your emotions, what triggers you, and when you check out so you can catch it before you’re too far gone. Today’s episode will give you new tools to manage anxiety and help you get to know yourself a little better. Tune in to get started.
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  • We come from the earth, we’ll return to the earth. In between, we garden. We nourish our bodies, we feed our minds. We tend to our hearts as though they are budding seeds.
    In today’s episode, Rachel shares the journey of self-care she has been on over the past year. After feeling a huge disconnect in Aruba (cue toxic mold, land built to support tourists, and environments not conducive to her human design), everything has come to a head in a surprising way now that she is in Sweden. Alone in nature, running through the woods collecting flowers, she has found herself.
    The environments you immerse yourself in play a huge role in your healing practices, but that doesn’t just mean your immediate surroundings. The relationships you are in, the home you live in, even your country and the practices it adopts can affect you on a deep, cellular level. That’s because we are nature. Flowers cannot grow in concrete, and you cannot grow where you are not rooted.
    Tune in today for an episode that will remind you that no matter what season you are moving through in your life, there is always one constant. Mother Earth is here to hold you. Returning to her is returning to yourself - it’s the real coming home.
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  • Are you actively participating in the creation of your life, or are you a bystander, feeling out of control and like you have no say in what life brings your way?
    Today, Rachel has some big decisions to make. It’s reminding her of a time of crisis years ago when she turned to Sweden to clear her head and find the answer that changed the course of her life forever. Now in a similar situation, she is once again being asked to choose - to actively decide the life she wants to create - but choosing for yourself when you’re used to putting the needs of others ahead of your own is a scary thing to do.
    No sign from the universe is still a sign. It’s a sign that it’s time to get empowered and make decisions for yourself. The answers aren’t always easy, but if you choose love over fear and yourself above everything else, the path forward becomes a little bit more clear - and a whole lot more aligned.
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  • Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we expect. We can sit in nature, ask for guidance, notice the signs and follow our intuition, but it still doesn’t lead us to the answers. This week’s episode begins with a beautiful guided meditation to anchor you into the spiritual practice of sitting with the unknown, and holding space for everything that you are. If you feel anxious, worried or angry, this meditation will help you hold space for the discomfort. Sometimes, that’s just what life brings.
    Rachel continues on to share and process her last days in the Swedish cabin, and dwell on the feeling of not knowing what is coming next. After all the places life has taken her in the past year, she is not sure if she can fully trust that life is taking her where she is meant to be anymore. But maybe being lost deep in the woods of unknowing is part of the process, too. No matter where we are, even if it’s not meant to be ours, can lead to learning, growing and healing. Not everything is black and white - there is gratitude in uncertainty, trust in the disbelief, and even dreams found in heartache. Tune in to be reminded that it’s okay to not know where you’re going. It’s the journey that counts, anyways.
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  • On this week’s episode, Rachel has everyone’s favorite guest on the show, Dennis Schoneveld! After being separated for almost 2 months, the little family is finally reunited and exploring their options in Sweden.
    They discuss everything that brought them to this exact moment, from moving out of their home, remediating their house from toxic mold, and Dennis finally making it to the tiny cabin in the woods of Sweden where he is settling in nicely (except for the water temperature and low ceilings!). Now the question is, where do they go from here?
    Today, Rachel and Dennis discuss their feelings, their dreams, and whether or not they will move to Sweden. Things may be up in the air, but they are always okay when your loved ones are by your side. Tune in for a wonderfully funny and endearing episode with the sweetest couple, and even a special guest appearance at the end from Lea Luna herself!
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  • Some things just feel like home; a small cabin in the woods, jumping into a cold Swedish lake, or a long hug from your person after being apart for months. Today’s episode begins with a guided meditation to allow you to check in and find home inside of yourself.
    Rachel then shares the heartfelt reunion with Dennis since his arrival in Sweden (and how Luna handled it!). With the little family back together, Dennis gets a sense of the dream Rachel has been bringing to life over the past weeks, and Rachel is easing into this new family dynamic with a deep sense of peace and a newfound trust in life.
    Tune in today as Rachel realizes - the universe has your back. Maybe you don’t have to be rushing to get things done all the time. Good things take time, and what is meant for you will not pass you by. Sometimes we just have to sit back, enjoy the journey and hug our people along the way.
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  • Have you ever downplayed a dream? Did you tell your friends, your family - and even yourself - that that thing you long for really doesn’t matter all that much? Here’s the thing: your dreams DO matter. How are they ever going to come true if you pretend they are not important?
    In today’s episode, Rachel shares her own intimate dream. It is one that may not be possible for so many reasons, but by speaking her dream out loud, she just may be bringing herself one step closer to manifesting it.
    Let today’s vulnerable sharing be a reminder that you can dream, too. You can get your hopes up. You can believe in the possibility of beautiful outcomes. You are a constituent of this universe, so you get a say in what happens! Tune in to dream big and shout from the rooftops exactly what it is you want - the universe will be listening. 
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  • Our identities are complex. We are made up of dreams, beliefs, likes, dislikes and unique personalities - but everything about us is interwoven with the identities of the people we love the most. So, how can we know where others end and we begin? When do we choose ourselves, and when do we recognize and make sacrifices for a loved one whose needs may be greater than our own?
    In this week’s episode, Rachel opens up about her difficult past family dynamics and how they are showing up in her life today in this move to Sweden. Finding herself in a very similar situation she faced as a child, she reflects on bravely balancing her own needs as a human being, as a daughter, and now as a parent, too.
    Remember, it is a radical act of self-love to set and uphold boundaries, but that doesn’t mean that its easy or that the decision is always black or white. Tune in as Rachel tackles the challenging topics of setting boundaries, making difficult decisions, and daring to take up a little bit more space.
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  • What’s standing in the way between you being 100% in tune with your body? A strong intuition is found within each and every one of us. We know ourselves on a deep and intimate level. When it comes to our health, we can say what makes us feel good and what doesn’t. So, why do we make decisions that so often ignore our gut feelings and lead us away from ourselves? 
    Would you believe that there is a possibility that the answer to that question has nothing to do with your personality? That maybe, it’s not because you have weak willpower or a lack of discipline but actually our choices are deeply influenced by many contributing factors, and a lot of them are found in environments we have no control over.
    In today’s episode, Rachel shares her journey back to herself after mold illness, and the experience of actually feeling deeply in tune with her body after years of separation, sugar addiction and disconnect. 
    Hopefully, this is an episode that will help you lead yourself back to you, too.
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  • Where you come from is rooted deep within you, for better or for worse. No matter where you go or how far you run, home will always call you back. For those of us that left on purpose, this can be really hard to face. But, returning to basics and reconnecting with your roots can lead to some surprising discoveries. 
    In this week’s episode, Rachel has been looking into her ancestry and made a surprising connection. The forest she walks, the water she swims in, and the land where she has found peace, is the same land her ancestors lived on hundreds of years ago. Our ancestral roots run deep - deeper than our parents and grandparents. What does this mean for Rachel, who has been trying to heal familial hardships her entire life?
    Our ancestry is found in our triggers, in our awareness, and in our reactions. It’s the plants we recognize from our childhood and the soup our grandmothers used to make. It’s who we are at our core, memories all interwoven on a land that both holds us and brings us to our knees. But, can we say we’ve healed if we never return? Today’s episode will help you honor the land you come from and connect to a long line of ancestors that came before and are still looking to heal through you.
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  • All of us at our core are longing for home. We long for that place where we can let go, be ourselves, and find peace. But, how many of us truly find home, and how many of us spend our entire lives in search of it?
    In this week’s episode, Rachel is recording from the middle of the forest in her homeland of Sweden. After quite the journey to get there from Aruba (especially traveling with Ringo for the first time since The Flight From Hell!), Rachel has found herself feeling at home in this country for the first time of her life. She has spent hours in the forest, hugging trees, laying on the mossy ground, and listening to the secrets that nature has shared with her.
    Today, she shares those secrets. It’s what you learn when you listen to the wind, when you find the beauty in the simple mundane things, and how your heart beats when you’re alone in the forest with nothing but trees and peace encompassing you. Maybe home is found within nature, because we are nature, too.
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  • How do you say goodbye to the most important thing in your life? In today’s episode, we take notes and learn from Lea Luna, Rachel’s 4-year old daughter, and how she dealt with losing her best friend, Bear.
    Did you have a special toy as a child that meant everything to you? When you’re young, a stuffed animal can mean structure, support and love. It can mean everything. In today’s episode, Rachel tells the story of Bear - Luna’s most beloved stuffed animal. Since dealing with mold, Bear was among the countless things that were too toxic and dangerous to keep. But unlike many things, Bear held important significance in Luna’s life, and would be the hardest for her to let go.
    Tune in for the full story, from where Bear came from, his close bond with Luna, how he lost one ear, and what Rachel did to lessen the pain of losing him for her daughter. Sometimes saying goodbye is too much to bear, but other times a goodbye can lead to new experiences, new stories, and new adventures. Today’s episode will let you connect to your own inner child and give you hope in the midst change.
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  • The environment we live in, the water we drink, the food we eat and the air we breathe play a massive role in our overall health and wellbeing. The good news? While this may seem overwhelming, a lot of it is within our control.
    On this week’s episode, Rachel opens up about her family’s environmental toxicology test results. While they were in for some shocking insights, now they have the answers they need to move forward. The truth is, we are all exposed to toxins on a day-to-day basis, but there are changes we can make to minimize both our exposure to them, and their impact on our bodies. For Rachel and her family to move forward, it requires a huge lifestyle shift. Rachel shares the changes she is making in her life and what you can do in yours as well.
    This episode will remind you to pay attention to the environment you are living in - and listen to your body when it speaks to you. The body has a deep inner knowing and if you listen to it, it could just save your life. After listening comes knowledge, and from there, we can make the decisions we need to change the course of our health for all days to come.
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  • As Rachel purges all of the items in her house, she reflects on the process of letting go and the human experience of it. Knowing that our life isn’t in our things is one of the most fundamental spiritual lessons - but that doesn’t make it any easier.
    No matter who we are, where we’re from, or how we live, we will all have to deal with loss. We could lose relationships with people who mean everything to us, jobs that stabilize us, or our homes that keep us safe. Loss is a reoccurring theme in our lives. So, how do we move forward? 
    Ultimately, in every loss there is something amazing to be gained. Energy is in constant motion and will always come back to you - just in a future where you feel totally free and not held down by past worries. Tune in to let go and get light.
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  • The mold saga at Rachel’s house continues this week, but with some major lessons, miracles, blessings and resiliency sprinkled in. Now with somewhat of a game-plan on how to move forward, Rachel has been able to reflect on the past few weeks with a clearer head and a lighter heart - and that is when she noticed something miraculous. Even in the darkest times, grace can still find you.
    On the show today, Rachel shares the true miracles that have come her way since finding toxic mold in her house. They come to her in the form of genuine kindness from strangers, a cabin in the woods and chance encounters that have reminded her that there is a purpose to life’s hard times, and when you learn to let go, beautiful things can come your way. Now able to tap into her true power and resiliency, Rachel is ready to get things done.
    Today’s episode will make you believe in miracles - one of them being the strength you have in yourself to get through any challenge that comes your way. You can do hard things, because you’ve done them before. Tune in to lean into trust - in those around you, in the universe, and especially in your own ability to make it through.
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  • Still deep in a mold crisis, Rachel’s entire future shifted when a mystery mold man fell out of the sky and landed in Aruba. After a few minutes in her house with a flashlight, this man could tell Rachel one very important thing: she is not crazy. Even after being forced to leave her home, losing all her belongings and suffering from mold illnesses, the worst part of this journey for Rachel has been that nobody has believed her. No one has been able to see her in this trauma.
    This happens to us so much in life, especially as women. Our lived experiences are denied. When this happens, there is one thing that we must do: it is imperative that we trust our intuition. If the universe is pushing you toward something, that is likely the way forward. Tune in for an episode that will remind you that even in the hardest of times, the universe has your back.
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  • How do you make it through when your world is crumbling around you? In today’s episode, Rachel shares her best advice, resources, and practices when it comes to crisis management.
    The first thing we need to do is acknowledge when we’re in a crisis. Sometimes big life events feel manageable, while smaller things make us unravel. Instead of trying to soldier on, admitting that you’re having a hard time can take a huge weight off your shoulders. Rachel defines what a crisis is and shares some personal examples from her own life of different crises she has moved through and the causes behind them. Ultimately, no one else can tell you when you’re in a crisis or not. It all depends on how you’re coping.
    If you’re having a hard time right now, tune in to learn the steps Rachel takes to keep her sanity in an insane world. Lower your expectations, take care of your basic needs, vent, feel, and move. The only way out is through.
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  • As of last week, Rachel received the devastating news that she has dangerously high levels of mold in her house. Her family has had to move out immediately, get tested for mycotoxins, find contractors, doctors and mold experts that can help, and they will possibly lose all of their belongings… including their home. Trigger warning – bring tissues for this episode.
    After years of taking great care of herself and her family (eating vegan, taking supplements, investing in water and air filtration systems, etc) it has been a complete mystery as to why Rachel is constantly feeling unwell. The answer came with the results to a mold test that told them to get out now.
    In today’s episode, Rachel shares openly about this entire experience. How did she find the mold in her house? What tests did she use? How can you get rid of mold? What impact does this have on your health and wellbeing? And if there is a solution to this… what is it? Tune in for the whole story, and send Rachel, Lea and Dennis lots of love in the coming weeks.
    For more resources on mold, follow @drjillcrista, @dr.jess.md, @themoldguy, @pjharlowwellness, @frolicandflow, @survivingmold, and @lifeaftermold on Instagram. 
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